I am a cougar. And a milf, or so I’ve been told. When the occasion dictates, I enjoy getting dressed up in clothes that enhance my ass(ets). I flirt with those 20-something dudes with a gusto that I never could have managed when I was in my 20’s. A happy marriage, kids, and alcohol all contribute to this gusto and I am proud of the attention (no matter how inebriated those boys are). However, as Kenny Rogers so aptly put it, “you got to know when to hold ‘em, and know when to fold ‘em…”

I was in Whistler this weekend with my love celebrating our 12th wedding anniversary. After a lovely 4 course dinner at the Rimrock Cafe complete with Moet, followed by a lot of Joie’s unoaked chardonnay and a Patron shooter, when we cabbed over to Buffalo Bill’s to dance off a little bit of that delish toffee bread pudding. The place was packed as per usual on a summer Saturday night, but we got in without too much of a wait. One of the things Bills is known for is the cage by the dance floor. There, 2 or 3 exhibitionists gyrate to the beat, ride up and down the bars and indulge in various pleasures much to the delight of the crowd. And while they’re not paid performers, they’ve got it and they want to flaunt it! Well this Saturday night was no exception, as the cage held 2 women on the backside of 40, attacking a man that bore strong resemblance to a very happy Lou Ferrigno. As I danced my way over to get a closer look at Lou, one of the women, pulled on the neck of her top and flashed her saggy boobs at me. Cougars gone wild!!

Similarly, readers of Hello! Canada were recently treated to a picture of Sophia Loren’s 74 year old guns, floating atop her black evening gown not unlike poached eggs swimming in hollandaise sauce and lots of cracked black pepper. Don’t get me wrong, I love the talented Ms. Loren and know that I don’t have a chance of looking one-half as good as her when I’m 74, but you can bet that I will have walked away from the decollete-baring evening gowns by then.

Love Lucie

Posted by Marilyn

On this episode I discussed Royal Romances and the sorted details I’ve been able to source of the Internet and my royal book collection. Also on this episode – how people wooed way back when and the finer points of mailing a letter.

You can listen to the episode here

Note: The Royal Report is available for download on iTunes!

Publications mentioned

Hello! Canada weekly No 133 22 June 2009

Award Schemes mentioned

The Duke of Edinburgh Awards

Tune in LIVE via web cam to the next episode of The Royal Report on Sunday June 28th, 2009 9:00PM EST

The topic will be: Should Prince William be sent to the front lines?

Oh yeah, I meant it. Yep, “friend,” as in “some friend she is.”

Let me introduce you: the girlie in this photo is my delightful friend Heather Buchan, Associate Editor for Hello! Canada.

Heather and I had a get-together planned for last weekend. We were going to get together to play with makeup in preparation for her wedding this Fall (she’s going to be the most gorgeous bride).

But I got ditched.

For Ben Affleck.

A skinny Ben Affleck.

A skinny, defined-jaw handsome Ben Affleck.

A tall, skinny, defined-jaw handsome Ben Affleck in Calgary last weekend to host a OneXOne event in aid of impoverished kids.

Heather had to fly to Calgary to meet with him for work instead of meet with me, apparently.

Some friend, huh?

Sheesh.

If Clive-O asks, we never had this conversation.

The tabloid Hello! Canada (Awake! canucks) has a feature article on Céline Dion and family who were recently in South Africa where they visited with Nelson Mandela and had a photo taken with him. It’s the cover. Used to be that famous people flocked to Rome to have an audience and photo-op with the Pope. It lent a certain ‘gravitas’ to the visitor and the event. How times have changed. I wonder if the Pope’s nose is out of joint? Mirror, mirror on the wall who’s the ‘heaviest’ of us all?

Naan-imprimatur

..Maybe Benedict 16 doesn’t do the bloids. Or, he’s afraid Annie Leibovitz will show up and ask him to take off his mitre.