Who knows what our lives will look like then.  Not this, I said.  And she said, So.  And if we had been at the seashore, perhaps it would have made a difference.  Perhaps the pages of the book would have clung one to the other, and who knows perhaps we would have missed an essential page.  But here we are.  Still, here we are.  And she will sleep tonight, and I will, too.  And where we go when dreaming is anyone’s guess.  He isn’t telling.  He never has.  Though he writes book after book and publishes the results and receives the accolades reserved for better men, who couldn’t care about such things and are more concerned with looking inwardly.  If looking were the right trope for what saints do when they retreat from the world not to look for God but to find what there is to love in the wilderness.

The reality is that I will forever love him. It sucks and in some ways still hurts. But it is my truth. I gave too much, well maybe not too much, but more than he deserved. I loved fully and completely. Yet I loved who he could be. I refused until just a few weeks ago to see who he truly is. And even though I still love him and even though the memory of him leaving me cuts so deep, I feel relief. Yes. I feel relieved that I can move on. I feel relieved that I can be me. I can be passionate. I can be silly. I can leave the drawers barley open. I can get angry. I can feel hurt. I can cry. I can wear the clothes I like. I can write. I can have dreams and I can wait for him….the one who deserves my love and I his. Yes. I can live and be me. No longer trapped in a prison I created. One I created form love, lust and ultimately fear. Fear that if I did not marry him, he would leave me. Ironicly, in the end, that is exactly what he did, leave me. I gave him a gift, the only I was ever with and he did not care. He tried to love me. He tried to be that guy, but ultimately he is not that guy. And the time came when he could no longer pretend. He wanted freedom. He wanted “fun” and I was gone. I played my part. I did yell but when you live with a self centered man child, who would not yell? So many times I kept my mouth shut. So many times I over looked so much. In the end I see how I was never hit or yelled at but I was broken by the silence or the sly comments. I was broken. I was lost and tried to become all he wanted. Funnily enough he told me I was not who he thought I was. Maybe that is because I became what I thought he wanted. He pushed me to change my clothes, my hair. He never really supported me and my dreams. It was about his wants and needs. His dreams. Dreams I supported over and over with words, cards, love, money. My dreams were put on a back burner and I was lost in the midst of it all. Working, cleaning, caring. And yet he had the audacity to tell me it was me.

I thank God I am freed. It is so crazy to be in this place where I can see the whole picture. I see him clearly. I see myself and finally I am writing  and dreaming. I am being me and seeing I am not a horrible person. I am by no means perfect. I am flawed to the core but I am me and I am okay. I am passionate. I love deeply. I wear my heart on my sleeve and yet keep parts of it locked away in me. I have deep dreams. I get angry. And yet I am me and it is okay to be me….all of me. I always accepted him, flaws and all. The truth is he never accepted me.

So, now I move on; Set free. Free to love, free to dream. Yes I am free.

11-20-09 11:00 pm

Writen to You’re Not sorry by Taylor Swift

you tube video, as always http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5s3GUZiY39Y

Hello Everyone! I’m Maroonfire23 and I’m your new author here! YAYZ! Anyways, to start something off. Let me tell you a bit about myself. You see, SilverStar93 here is actually one of my real life friends and she plays Poptropica and love it as much as I do so I’ve suggested to her to start a blog about it and she thought it was cool so I introduced her to blogging and so now I’m starting to help her out with these sort of stuff. So far, she’s done her first post so I’d like to Congratulate Her so far so…yeah…

A few stuff about me is that I’m 10 nearly 11. My birthday’s December 5th. My favorite color is Green, Black, Gray, and White (and Maybe Blue…). My favorite food is Steak especially the way my mom prepares it. I love all sorts of music. I play the Piano. I live in New York. My favorite Multi-player games in Poptropica is Soupwords, Paint War, and Hoops and I think…that’s all. Oh, and my Poptropican’s name is Maroon Fire and this is her Pic:

Well I guess that’s all so…
Farewells from MaroonFire23!

vjvjvcjcdjckcdjcdcdcdi

One of TD’s friends wrote a movie script based on a well-known book. TD’s part is directing this short movie. A crew of 17 was reunited after days of casting. Most of the preparation took place at the border town of Namaacha, were the shooting happened.

The group met one week before to identify good shooting spots and other technical aspects. They picked one of the very few restaurants in Namaacha to eat. Over lunch they discussed the movie and the absence of the main star. After being selected though an arduous interviewing process, he just didn’t show up. They were already prepared to surpass the movie budget by contracting some other film star, regardless of asked price, when the waiter serving their table interrupted:

“Are you guys looking for someone capable to act in a movie? I am the one you look for.”

“Do you have any previous experience?” someone in the group asked.

He had zero experience, but insisted so much and so many times that they decided to give him a chance. He was good. He was so good that they closed the deal right away.

“A Namaacha waiter knowing how to act?” I thought. “I wish I could make a movie about that movie!”

(In reality, filming was postponed to December, due to the heavy rain uninterruptedly falling and to the director’s absence in Europe.)

Get me out of here,
This thing called life I cannot bear.
The past is haunting,
The present is cause for stressing.
My future, all I can see,
Is a black hole where I’m anywhere but free.
I want out, I want new.
I want to be able to see these things through.
I just want to be happy,
I just want to know.
Not left out in the dark,
So maybe I’ll leave one final mark.
One final mark to mark my past,
To mark my present,
And to mark that I wasn’t made to last.
Leave an imprint on lives I once knew,
People I thought I had grown close to.
It’s going to hurt when it heals to,
But, I’m going to smile because I deserve to.
A hole of black is seeping through my soul,
I’m not sure how to play my role.
I just don’t know what to do,
What to say, or what I have to loose.
What will they say, what will they think?
If I’m gone with just one blink.

Could not believe what I was hearing

that these are the same guys who did Take On Me

Guy still looks and sounds the same

A-Ha – Nothing Is Keeping You Here

Session 1
Music
Foge Foge Bandido : O Amor Dá-me Tesão

You can get your advertisement placed in all pages of this website for $10/ monthly, With high-traffic daily!

1 Month = 31 Days.

Guess what you MFW fu*ers, I got my pictures. YOU WERE LUCKY I HAD TO GO TO MY COUSINS HOUSE TO BABYSIT FOR 2 DAYS! MFW ARE COMPLETE NOOBS, RPF OWNED THEM. THE ACP SOLDIER RUMOR IS ALL NOT TRUE, WE RECRUITED YOU DUMB*UCKS. I couldn’t post RPF’s proof of the battle because I had to leave immediatly.. Well now you can SEE MY PROOF OF RPF WINNING. RPF OWNS ICICLE UNTIL MFW WANTS TO RE-INVADE IT!

MFW HAD ALLIE S DRESSED UP IN THEIR UNIFORM NO T US, PROOF:

MFW ADMITTED DEFEAT:

THE EPIC BATTLE, RPF vs. MFW:

Fight The Good Fight

– Sergie717

Since Fiasco ruined our first invasion, we will make them suffer.. Now we will fight and not leave the battle. Pack your bags boys.

RE-INVASION OF ICICLE

When: Saturday, November 21, 2009

Where: Icicle, Snow Forts

Chat: xat.com/TehRPF

Times:

4:40 pm PST

5:40 pm MST

6:40 pm CST

7:40 pm EST

COMMENT IF YOU THINK YOU CAN MAKE IT!

Fight The Good Fight,

- Sergie717

EDIT:

RESEARCH AND KNOWLEDGE

Maiko tsutsumi & Michael Schawb

Practice through research
Research INTO art and Design
Research THROUGH art and Design
Research FOR art and Design

The research process, different Models:
The Closed Circle (Noble&Bestley)...Where does the
Idea/Question come from in the first place?

What is the Question?
    Where i get my ideas from?
    What kind of issues am i trying to adress by creating work?
    Context, how they relate to other peoples work?
    what areas inspire me?
What is the research about?
Why is it important ?
How will the research be carried out?
What are you writing about?
what don't you know about it?
why do you want to know it? (rationale)
Construct an argument
    Identify key themes
    Use theories, analysis to probe and develop your questions

http://madm.wikispaces.com/RML

'How can i bring time, such a tangible thing into/embodied
in an object?' Maiko Tsutsumi 25 Nov

To do:
Define Concepts
New Media
Traditional Media
Interaction
1 ORIGIN SENTENCE
Schemes, diagrams, drawings, collages...sketchbook

Separate core reading and additional reading, put movies,

LIST RESOURCES
Books:"research into Art&Desing, Christopher Frayling 1993

BREWER 2007

Scrivener, Adam2009

Matter, Matter

Peter Dormen

Hello world! (again…) It’s been a looonnnggg time since I’ve posted (well, maybe not as long as last time…) tee hee! So, not very much has happened since my last post.

You see, when I first started this blog (circa May 2009) I wanted it to be a very personal thing and something I could channel all of my wedding-ness into…then, college happened.

For those of you who have not had the “college experience” yet, take a deep breath to savor the moment. Tonight is one of the only nights where I don’t have “homework” (i.e. stuff that has to be done) but I actually do have math homework due next Tuesday (not to mention a test on Thursday, I think) and I have two research papers to write in about three weeks. But I’m totally taking a break tonight and drowning myself in all of these wedding ideas. Totally…

Well, the biggest news I have is that we booked our honeymoon (see other post) and that my mom is getting married on Thanksgiving day! It’s so strange because my future step-sister is getting married in December, approximately 6 months before the _______ wedding (that’s ours). Seems like my whole family is tying the knot!

And I wanted to keep up the posts (or start to at least) because we are sending out Save-the-Dates the second week in January (that’s the plan, at least) and our guests will be viewing our blog. So they don’t want to read one that hasn’t had a post in, like, three years!

So…for mom’s wedding, we’re all really excited! Her fiance is a really nice guy and I think he will make a lovely edition to our family. He’s a super awesome Christian so I won’t be worried about Matt’s and my kids going to visit Nana and (we’ll name him soon enough).

My grandmother and I kind of took over the whole decor thing. And it’s brilliant to have it on Thanksgiving day because there will be so. much. food. THAT is what I’m most excited about!

Excuse me, a country bumpkin pot-luck after a heartfelt tearjerker ceremony? Count me in! I am so so so so so excited. My grandmother told me today that she is fixing a 22 lb. turkey (psych!!!!) and I already called dibs on half of it so I could bring it back home for leftover turkey sandwiches during the week before finals.

Well, that’s all I got so far, so far. Until later…

Life moves up and down and all around; and yet we must continue on. We must see beyond it all to see that God has His hand in it all. We may not understand but He is there guiding us and helping us. If we just choose to listen. And this may be being still, it may be reading His word, it may be in a song. He is there. So as my life twists and turns, hurts and burns, I see my Christ and He is there and it is I that pushes him away. He loves me where I am but does not want to leave me that way. He wants to heal the shattered pieces of my heart and make me as whole as He can again….

and so I begin……

11-24-09 1:07 pm

Joy came to me.  I said, Now?  But yes is joy’s only word.  The wind says yes.  The earth says yes.  Even the distant sea says yes.  Under the waves the many armed yes, which clutches everything says, Yes.  Then two yeses meet when a shipwreck drowns.  Here, on dry land or here, in the trees, the singing yeses desire flight.  Joy lies on the ground.  It is a seed.  Now it unfolds on my tongue.  I listen for the rain.  Its pattering says, yes, yes, yes.  And joy came to me, and I was ready for its word.  When I was a boy, there were no end of noes.  But now my body floods with yeses even to the noes.

Comment in this form;

1. What is your CP username?
2. What is your RPF rank?

You will be promoted if you comment on this post, ONLY if there is a spot available.

Note to Suspended People Only:You will be demoted if you do not comment on this post.

Currently Suspended People:

1. Orgulan
2. Ashes
3. Yukon
4. Omega90
5. Mender47
6. McHappy
7. Arseus1215
8. Coolguy
9. Greenday184
10. Toxico
11. Peace 84
12. Notru

Fight The Good Fight

– Sergie717

EDIT: MFW AGREED TO OUR POST WE NOW OWN WALRUS AND MFW IS GIVEN ICICLE BACK, MFW IS IN THE TOP 10, RPF IS THE BEST MEDIUM ARMY NOW.

First RPF Accomplishment

Miroos’ Comment

Ok look. We obviously have to come to an agreement. Swearing at each other won’t get us anywhere. Neither will arguing about who won. So I suggest that we give you Walrus and we keep Icicle. But at least we got back into the CP Warfare spirit. Nice battles, it was fun – even the arguing. So yeah, I agree with Ads. Let’s see what Sergie says now…

Sergie’s Comment

I agree, this was good battle. But I think since you didn’t give us Yeti with Walrus, but only Walrus, then we will have 1 more thing before we agree. You either declare RPF as the best medium army, and become close allies or fight again and see who earns it, and probably have more arguments again. -.-

If you choose the first option, the RPF will announce you as the 2nd best medium army due to sportsmanship and active, reasonable leaders. We will also present an “close-brother allie treaty” which will make RPF and MFW a brother army, also making RPF help MFW at any battle they wish us to attend. If RPF is in trouble, MFW also could help if they have time. Sounds like a good deal unless you want the same thing over again with Option 2.

Fight The Good Fight,

– Sergie717