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New York Hot Topic: Knicks Progress Report

Doric Sam — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 03:40:10 +0000

We are a little over a month into the NBA season, so I think it’s time for a progress report on the New York Knicks’ season so far. After beating the worst team in the league (New Jersey Nets) earlier today, they are now a dismal 6-15. It is pretty clear they are just waiting for time to pass until next year.

After starting the season 1-3, they went on a six-game losing streak. Then, after recording back-to-back wins, they went on a five-game losing streak. Out of their 15 losses, 10 of them were by double digits. They are actually seventh in the league with an average of 103.8 points per game, but they are allowing an opponents’ points per game average of 109.0.

I think they accepted the fact that they are not contenders and won’t be for a long time. I am not really sold on the whole “get LeBron in 2010″ idea because I don’t think it will happen. I think they need to be more realistic in their plans to rebuild. They clearly should have drafted Brandon Jennings and built the team around him. By the way Jennings is playing in Milwaukee, it is clear he would have thrived in Mike D’antoni’s run-and-gun system. But they don’t have him, so there is no point guard of the future to attract the big-name free agents of 2010.

The Knicks are clearly in reconstruction, but that doesn’t give them an excuse to be performing so horribly. In the famous words of Herm Edwards, “You play to win the game!” They should be making moves to win now, especially since it is a farfetched idea to think LeBron James will come to one of the worst teams in the league and lead them to a championship. Without another star player to help James, there is no incentive for him to come to New York. Hopefully they test the trade market or draft a player to build a team around instead of relying on the fantasy of getting James next season.

NFL Wrap-Up!! FUN TIMES IN CLEVELAND

armchairallamericans — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 18:01:09 +0000

I meant to do this ranking prior to Week 9, since that’s the unofficial midway point of the season, but I got caught up in the resurgence of Carolina football (two top 25 teams in two weeks!!)

Without further ado:

New Orleans Saints and Indianapolis Colts

“We poppin like Champagne Bottles, but we never shook”

-Lil’ Wayne “Money 2 Blow” Remix

That has to be the theme in New Orleans and Indianapolis as the Saints finally have a defense to go with their prolific offense and the Colts still have Peyton Manning. As the last two undefeated teams in football, there really is nothing that worries these teams, especially the Colts who disposed of their chief rival on Sunday Night. Stay tuned as both have tough match-ups coming up. Colts in the ultimate grudge match (I think they may have played in Baltimore at some point…) and Saints (The Patriots come to town soon).

New England Patriots, San Diego Chargers, and Minnesota Vikings

“Don’t think I don’t think about it”

-Darius Rucker “Don’t think I don’t think about it”

Each team has to have certain moments from the season on their mind. The Patriots are one foot away (on a fourth down conversion against the Colts) from knocking off the AFC’s top team and putting distance between them and a middling division. The Chargers are one sensational fourth down play (see: Lewis, Ray vs. Sproles, Darren) away from challenging for the AFC’s top spots. The Vikings are one mishandled Chester Taylor pass away from perfection. Though, each team is playing at a high level, which helps to quell those “what if’s”. On a sidenote: Props to Darius Rucker, Country newcomer of the year.

Cincinatti Bengals

“I’ll step on your porch, step to your boss/Let’s end the speculation, I’m talking to all you.”

-Jay-Z “Ain’t no Love (Heart of the City”)

Marvin Lewis has the Queen City Team playing like a bunch of bullies. The Bengals are wearing the “Me against the world” title better than anyone this side of Tupac and the mid-90s Knicks. Punishing defense, crushing run game (even more now that they’ve signed Larry “I didn’t mean to insult homosexuals, just Todd Haley” Johnson)… Still. I don’t believe in them. That “Hard Knocks” series before the season revealed something (not as much as I thought as I made constant “So this is what a 4-12 team looks like” remarks), but something. I’m not ready to put them up in the second tier division, yet. I know they swept the Ravens and Steelers, but still… there’s something still lacking.

Denver Broncos, Pittsburgh Steelers, Dallas Cowboys, Philadelphia Eagles, and Atlanta Falcons

“Woe is me, baby, this is tragic/ ‘Cause we had it, we was magic/ I was flyin’, now I’m crashin’”

-Kanye West “Knock you Down”

Each of these teams went from being sky high to well, not. The Broncos started the season media darlings before being brought back to earth by the Ravens and Steelers in consecutive weeks, understandable. However, the inexcusable thrashing they suffered at the hands of the Washington Clinton Portis’ was baffling. The Steelers, more understandably, were swept by the Bengals. The Cowboys were upended by the Brokeback Packers (not a gay diss, just an Aaron Rodgers diss… He looks like Jake Gyllenhal) who haven’t been able to win many games (only three out of their last ten!!). The Eagles suffered back-to-back losses that weren’t very close. The Falcons just lost to the Panthers…

Needless to say, each of these teams needs to regroup, much like Kanye in this whole post-award show backlash.

New York Giants, Miami Dolphins, and Baltimore Ravens

“Reasons, like seasons, they constantly change and the seasons of last year, like reasons, have faded away.”

-Something Corporate “Me and the Moon”

The success of last season has (mostly) been missing for these teams. All of them have struggled with the pre-season expectations and (more likely) their adjusted schedules. The Giants raced out fast only to quickly be in search of answers losing four of their last five. The Dolphins have introduced a lot of new wrinkles to their wildcat formation without the electric success from last year. The Ravens have lost four games by an average of 5.3 points, the close games they thrived on finding ways to win last year. Just like the tier above and below these teams, they need to find a way to right the ship or the next season (off-season) could be filled with many, discontenting reasons.

New York Jets, Tennessee Titans, Jacksonville Jaguars, Chicago Bears, Arizona Cardinals, and San Francisco 49ers

“But heaven ain’t close in a place like this/Anything goes but don’t blink you might miss.”

-The Killers “Somebody Told Me”

What a grab bag of teams here… Each team has been great and awful this year (as has everyone else); however, these teams tend to be less “killers” than anything else. Though, as with every season, each team still has a glimmer of hope to redeem what’s left, but, if they blink, they’ll miss. Can Mark Sanchize pull a Matt Ryan/Joe Flacco and get his entourage to the play-offs? Can Vince Young keep up his magic (3-0 since he became the starter)? Can Maurice Jones-Drew carry the whole team every week? Will Jay Cutler continue to try his hardest to submarine the play-off chances of the Bears? Does anyone want to win the NFC West!?!?!?! By week 12, we will know all of these answers and more.

Carolina Panthers, Green Bay Packers, and Houston Texans

“Maybe, in the future, you’re gonna come back, you’re gonna come back to me.”

-Ingrid Michaelson “Maybe”

This is surely what the QBs of these three teams are saying in terms of their fan support. Donnie Darko-Rodgers caught a break with a win over Tony “It must be getting cold outside because I’m losing games I should win” Romo and the Cowboys, but Green Bay won’t forget he’s not Favre (especially with the Vikings having swept the Packers already this season). Poor Jake of the man, Steve Smith and the Charlotte fans are done with him. It’s official. They’re now, firmly, in the Sam Bradford/Troy Smith Sweepstakes. As for Houston, all the passing yards look nice, Matt Schaub, but win a game of importance or stay healthy for a whole season. Either one would be nice at this point.

Washington Redskins, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, and Seattle Seahawks

“I know that it’s coming, I just hope that I’m alive for it.”

-Drake “Successful”

Yes, this entry needed a follow-up lyric to the first installment. That’s really all there is to say about these teams. Poor Clinton Portis and Jason Campbell… I would say I’m surprised by Josh Johnson play except that I’m more surprised by how well Josh Freeman has played. He’s been consistent and stepped up when he needs to most… the two things he embarrassingly lacked at K-State. The Ron Prince Era looks better and better. Oh, and Matt Hasselback was washed up two seasons ago. I’m frantically searching for evidence to the contrary.

Buffalo Bills, Detroit Lions, and Oakland Raiders

“See potential in ya, let me mould that/I can transform ya, I can transform ya.”

-Chris Brown “I can Transform Ya”

This one goes out to the young Bills (Marshawn Lynch, Fred Jackson, and Roscoe Parrish), young Lions (Matt Stafford, Calvin Johnson, and Kevin Smith), and young Raiders (Darren McFadden, Michael Bush, Louis Murphy, and JaMarcus Russell… Well, maybe not Russell). Better times are coming guys. Whether that means you get traded to well-managed franchises or you’re indentured until you hit free agency, hope is out there. Or your GM could talk himself into Tebow being the Spread QB to break the trend and you get to chase after his wobbly ducks all next season. It could really go either way at this point.

St. Louis Rams and Kansas City Chiefs

“It never stops, when my mama ask me will I change/ I tell her yeah, but it’s clear I’ll always be the same.”

-Tupac “Until the End of Time”

It feels like the Rams and Chiefs will continue to be horrible until the end of time. The Rams can’t find anyone to buy them and will probably end up moving back to LA where they weren’t really liked in the first place. If they were smart, they’d change their name in transit. Maybe fool the West Coast into thinking they were someone else for a few years. Steven Jackson is football’s version of Zach Greinke. The Chiefs are a mess and I blame Todd Haley. One person hasn’t ruined a team this badly since Toni Braxton was making her rounds in Dallas. How do you alienate a future hall of famer (Tony Gonzales), a perennial pro bowl running back (Well, Larry Johnson has his own demons and would’ve self-destructed eventually… but Haley hurried the process), and a rising star wide receiver (Dwayne Bowe, too, is a moron, but at least he doesn’t post moronic Twitter updates and inspire a whole city to petition him out of town)? Herm Edwards and Carl Petersen just keep smiling wider and brighter each week on their respective television appearances.

Cleveland Browns

“We see the sun about three times a year!”

-Hastily made Cleveland Tourism Video

This is, roughly, the same number of wins Browns fans can expect in any given season… And now they want to use Lebron in football games!?!?! Whose idea was it to bring football back here, again?

I agonize over the Jets again, Belichick turns stupid for a minute, and ruminations from the supermarket

michaeljlewis — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 07:22:26 +0000

OK, nine games.

Not bad, New York Jets. Nine games in, and I can officially call it a season.

No playoffs, certainly not at 4-5 with the Pats coming up next week. No Super Bowl (ha!). No real reason to expect things to change in this, my 28th year of fandom (I was too young the first six years of my life to really appreciate this lovely franchise).

I really don’t feel like re-hashing all the things the Jets did wrong in their excruciating 24-22 loss to Jacksonville Sunday, but a few must be brought up:

– The defense is off for TWO weeks, and the Jets play like that? Awful tackling. Pressure on the QB in the second half, but not much in the first. And the pass defense on the final drive was atrocious.

– Braylon Edwards, you want a big contract? You HAVE to make that catch on the 2-point conversion the 4th, after the Jets put together a fantastic drive to take the lead. Don’t give me any garbage about the hit knocking the ball out; you have to make that play. If he does, I think the Jets lead by 3 and the game goes to overtime.

– I know it didn’t cost them any points, but Mark Sanchez, what the hell was that throw on the second interception, when the Jags’ defensive end, Quinton Groves was RIGHT THERE in front of your face, and you threw it anyway? Thankfully Groves forgot how to run at the end there, and tripped over his own feet at the 4-yard line. But still, terrible decision by our franchise QB. He did, however, have a great 4th quarter to redeem himself.

–Only my beloved Jets can try to let a guy score at the end of the game, which was the right thing to do, and fail at that, too.

– Rex Ryan, you’re a defensive coach. A brilliant coach, we’ve been told. One of the great minds in the NFL. Yet this is now twice in the last six weeks, when your offense gets you the lead, all you need is one stop to win the game, and your defense, which talks more trash than any team has a right to, can’t get it done. This was the freakin’ Jaguars, for God’s sakes, not the 1989 49ers or the 1998 Minnesota Vikings!

– More timeouts burned needlessly by the Jets in the second half. Didn’t we already go through this during the Herm Edwards Era?

Ugh. Just awful. This team is just not that good. The rookie QB is learning, the rookie head coach is learning, and it looks like 7-9 is in our future.

Thank God Duke basketball is getting underway. I need a good team to root for this winter.

**Some other NFL thoughts from a wacky Week 11:

– Bill Belichick made one of the craziest coaching decisions I’ve ever seen this side of Ray Handley and Art Shell Sunday night. After his Patriots pretty much dominated Indianapolis, Belichick decided to go for it, up 34-28, on 4th and 2 from his own 28-yard-line. Why? Clearly, he had no faith in his defense stopping Mr. Peyton Manning, but still, they’d stopped the Colts a few times already, and don’t you at least have to try?

Of course, the Pats didn’t make it on 4th down, and the Colts had great field position, and of course Peyton Manning made a superb throw on the score that won the game. Doug Hennig never made as many escapes as Indy’s No. 18. My friend Pearlman just wrote a blog about his greatness.

**Fantastic, hard-hitting Bengals-Steelers game Sunday. What an amazing turnaround by Cincy. Quick, someone call Ickey Woods and see if he still knows how to shuffle.

**OK, everyone who thought the one-win Rams would have a pass attempt that could beat the undefeated Saints on the last play of the game Sunday, please raise your hand. This is yet another reason I don’t gamble on the NFL.

**Finally, I love supermarkets. Always have. There’s just something about food shopping that makes me feel like a grown-up. Seinfeld has said this before, and he’s totally right: As a kid in the supermarket, you have to beg your parents for food. As a grown-up, you can buy whatever the hell you want.

Anyway, two ruminations from my Sunday evening trip to the store:

– One way I always know the new year is coming is when the milk’s expiration date is past January first. This is the earliest I ever remember it happening, but I got a carton with a “Jan. 6, 2010″ date on it. I was excited.

– It’s 2009. Hasn’t anyone at the company that makes Comet (Prestige Brands, I just learned) figured out a way to put a real, closeable top on the bottle yet, instead of that stupid adhesive tape that never sticks after you open the bottle? I mean, seriously, is this really so hard?

This is the stuff I think about. And you wonder why I have trouble sleeping…

Rex Ryan Challenges Jets Fans for Sunday

illwill30 — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 18:45:37 +0000

Head Coach Rex Ryan is no dummy. He knows that the Jets fan base is both disappointed and scared he

Michael Crabtree, 49ers Finally Reach a Deal

kreuzer33 — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 15:45:38 +0000

The San Francisco 49ers and their number one draft pick Michael Crabtree reached and agreement on a six-year contract early this morning.

From ESPN:

The deal, first reported by ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter, was confirmed by 49ers spokesman Bob Lange in a text message to The Associated Press early Wednesday.

Crabtree will get a six-year deal that he can void to five years if he meets undefined performance clauses, a league source told ESPN’s Michael Smith.

The 22-year-old Crabtree is expected to report to the team’s training facility Wednesday.

Crabtree and agent Eugene Parker met into the early-morning hours Wednesday with 49ers owner Jed York, general manager Scot McCloughan and Paraag Marathe, vice president of football operations. The two sides had gone almost three weeks without talking.

From USA Today:

The 49ers confirmed the signing of the 10th overall draft pick to the Santa Rosa Press Democrat on early Wednesday morning after a 71-day holdout.

The paper reported Crabtree should be at practice on Wednesday. The contract is for six years.

Former Jets and Chiefs coach Herm Edwards said the 49ers, currently 3-1 and in first place in the NFC West, could really benefit if Crabtree is ready to contribute.

“If this guy can play like everyone expects him to play, the 49ers are the best team in that division,” Edwards said in an appearance on ESPN this morning.

The College Football Mercy Rule Debate - Show Some Mercy

Loyal Homer — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 19:12:16 +0000

Read the debate intro, Bleacher Fan’s argument that a mercy rule should be put in place, and Sports Geek’s argument that a mercy rule should not be put in place.

As is usually the case at The Sports Debates, this was an interesting debate. Whether a spectator or a participant in a sporting event, chances are good that you have been on both sides of a blowout. Obviously, it is much better to be on the winning side, but is too big a blowout good for football, or is it necessary to have some type of “mercy rule” in place?

SportsGeek cited an example of a game he attended in which he left after the score seemingly got out of hand, only to find out that the ‘losing’ team had come back to win the game after trailing by a large deficit. He also pointed out the story of a young man on a basketball team who suffered from several social anxiety disorders, but was able to get in and play late in a lopsided game, actually scoring his first points as a player.

Bleacher Fan counter-argues by pointing out that there are risks involved in continuing a “blowout” game and that there are no competitive or financial benefits. Bleacher Fan also correctly points out that these blowout games make for bad television, as they lead viewers to switching the channel to find a more enticing game. In some cases when the game is televised regionally, the network will actually switch to a more competitive game in order to keep the viewer on that station.

After careful review of the facts, I narrowly find in favor of Bleacher Fan!

In the words of former New York Jets and Kansas City Chiefs coach Herman Edwards – ”You play to win the game. You don’t play it just to play it.” That fact supersedes anything else that goes on during the game.

We all love “feel good stories”. They are a product of what happens during the game. What it all boils down to, though, is winning, which is the opening point of Bleacher Fan’s argument. Once the game is in hand there is no more reason to endanger anyone and put them at further risk. Perhaps, as Bleacher Fan suggested, once the difference in score exceeds 50 points the game should stop, or maybe once it exceeds 40 points a continuous clock could begin. I do not know what the best model would be, but some type of ‘mercy rule’ needs to be put in place.

Agree or disagree? Have some stories of being on one side or the other of a blowout? Feel free to comment at the bottom of the page. Someone will respond to your thoughts/questions!

Indianapolis Colts Preview 09

tabsports — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 01:59:49 +0000

2008 Record: 12-5, 2008 TABRank: 4, Tentative 2009 AFC South Preview: 1st
Most speculated 2008 would be Tony Dungy’s last season as the Colts head coach, so Indianapolis had extra motivation to win their second Super Bowl title in three seasons. Super Bowl XLIII was far from the Colts’ minds early in the season, as a weak start threatened to spoil Dungy’s swan song. Indianapolis started 3-4, with two wins coming from 15- and 18-point second-half comebacks. Despite the bad play, the Colts found a way to earn their NFL-record sixth-consecutive 12-win season. The Colts won by one possession in the first five of their nine consecutive wins. Peyton Manning’s knee, which provided part of the problem early in the season, got stronger as the season progressed. So did the signal caller’s play, and the third-down offense returned to its elite form from recent seasons. However, the defense struggled in the wild card round, and Darren Sproles ran through the Colt defense, allowing the Chargers to once again best Indy in the playoffs. Now that Dungy, offensive coordinator Tom Moore and offensive line coach Howard Mudd are no longer in their old roles, can the Colts keep up their regular-season success from the past six seasons?

Moore and Mudd retired as coaches in mid-May, but they soon returned as consultants. Most of the offense should be the same under new offensive coordinator Clyde Christensen. QB Peyton Manning remains the commanding presence on the field. He basically runs the offense with C Jeff Saturday. Manning makes almost all the reads and audibles, and he requires precision and quick thinking from the entire offense. As long as Manning controls the switches in Indianapolis, he should still be extremely effective. At times, it seems like his arm is underrated, which hard to accomplish. Most importantly, Manning has kept himself unscathed for 11 seasons. Even though Marvin Harrison has left Indianapolis, Reggie Wayne and Anthony Gonzalez have already been effective enough to show the Colts can survive without Harrison. Wayne consistently tests defenses with sharp routes and sneaky speed. He’s been an elite receiver for at least a few years. TE Dallas Clark acts a slot receiver when the team uses three- and four-receiver sets, which they do often. He moves up the field extremely well for a tight end, and he’s one of the most dynamic receiving threats at his position. Another receiver needs to emerge in this offense. Besides Saturday, the offensive line is relatively solid. The line could improve if Charlie Johnson or Tony Ugoh steps up at left tackle. Ugoh lost his starting job, as he’s been a major disappointment the past year-plus. At running back, Joseph Addai has been a recent disappointment himself. Addai needs to find the holes better and hit them quicker. Hopefully rookie Donald Brown can push Addai. Brown hits the hole impressively with a low center of gravity. Both backs should be nice receivers in the backfield.

Like the offense, the defense has a new coordinator. However, the defense will see some more changes than the offense. Larry Coyer, who has “Tampa-2” experience, replaces the departed Ron Meeks. Of course, this quick and undersized defense should be able to fit a “Tampa-2” style defense. Ends Dwight Freeney and Robert Mathis are great pass-rushers. The line, especially the tackles, must improve against the run. Only when the Colts made a Super Bowl run was the run defense working at a high level. Fili Moala and Terrance Taylor were drafted in hopes to solidifying the defense inside. MLB Gary Brackett is an effective nucleus of the defense, but he requires space to do damage. In general, the linebacker corps is quick and athletic, yet undersized. This makes the defensive line’s responsibility to take up blockers extremely important. The secondary is among the elite in the league, as long as the oft-injured SS Bob Sanders stays healthy. CBs Kelvin Hayden and Marlin Jackson are solid defenders at worst. On their better days, they can limit and even shut down opposing receivers. Tim Jennings may be on his way to becoming a starter soon somewhere. Sanders gets the most out of his game when he plays, but that has come to hurt him. His reckless abandon and penchant for the big hit as caused injuries. FS Antoine Bethea is a nice safety blanket out deep, and Melvin Bullitt has played impressively when filling in for Sanders.

Kicker Adam Vinatieri still has some juice left. Meanwhile, rookie punter Pat McAfee has nice potential. The return game needs a big boost, and probably would be best improved if Indianapolis acquires a legitimate threat as a return specialist, but the coverage units actually improved after recent struggles.

It’ll be interesting to see what Indianapolis does with all the coaching changes. The Colts may need a season to adjust, and it could cause a down year. Then again, Manning has been about as steady as any player could be at quarterback. The biggest problem, besides the coaching changes, will be the defensive line. Can they finally be good enough against the run? Right now, it’s best to bet the Colts won’t get 12-plus wins for the seventh consecutive season.

Burning Question: Who’s capable of stepping up at defensive tackle to improve the run defense?
Besides the rookie pair of Moala and Taylor, Ed Johnson is probably the best man for the job at DT. Johnson has had recent legal issues, but he’s as close to a disruptive force the Colts have had inside for a while. Keyunta Dawson was too small, so he moved out to end. Meanwhile, Antonio Johnson and Daniel Muir are probably only replacement players at best. This situation won’t be solved this year with rookies on board at such a key area.

New Coaches on Board
Indianapolis isn’t the only team to have a new head coach, offensive coordinator and defensive coordinator, but they do have the best record to work with by far. Below is a list of the teams with wholesale changes on the coaching front. For logistic purposes, the interim coaches who stay as head coaches are excluded.

Team	Old Coaches	New Coaches	Record*
Broncos	Mike Shanahan (HC), Rick Dennison (OC), Bob Slowik (DC)	Josh McDaniels (HC), Mike McCoy (OC), Mike Nolan (DC)	8-8
Browns	Romeo Crennel (HC), Rob Chudzinski (OC), Mel Tucker (DC)	Eric Mangini (HC), Brian Daboll (OC), Rob Ryan (DC)	4-12
Buccaneers	Jon Gruden (HC), Bill Muir (OC), Monte Kiffin (DC)	Raheem Morris (HC), Greg Olson (OC)**, Jim Bates (DC)	9-7
Chiefs	Herm Edwards (HC), Chan Gailey (OC), Gunther Cunningham (DC)	Todd Haley (HC/OC), Clancy Pendergast (DC)	2-14
Colts	Tony Dungy (HC), Tom Moore (OC), Ron Meeks (DC)	Jim Caldwell (HC), Clyde Christensen (OC), Larry Coyer (DC)	12-4 (0-1)
Lions	Rod Marinelli (HC), Jim Colletto (OC), Joe Barry (DC)	Jim Schwartz (HC), Scott Linehan (OC), Gunther Cunningham (DC)	0-16
Rams	Scott Linehan/Jim Haslett (HC), Al Saunders (OC), Rick Venturi (DC)	Steve Spagnuolo (HC), Pat Shurmur (OC), Ken Flajole (DC)	2-14
Seahawks	Mike Holmgren (HC), Gil Haskell (OC), John Marshall (DC)	Jim Mora, Jr. (HC), Greg Knapp (OC), Casey Bradley (DC)	4-12

*-record from last year (playoff record in parentheses)
**-Jeff Jagodzinski was just fired as offensive coordinator and replaced by Olson (9/3)

9/1/09: 10 Things I Think I Think

mondaymorningdouche — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 04:58:17 +0000

10. Former coach Herm Edwards is officially the worst in-game commentator of all time. Those that watched the Eagles/Jags game on NFL Network this week knows what I’m talking about. The WORST color commentating I’ve ever heard. EVER. And I’ve watched a lot of football in my life.

9. The combination of McNabb/Vick looks to be tricky for defenses this year. However, Vick won’t be around for the first four games, and by that time, he’ll have to play full-time QB because Donovan will be injured at that point. It’s a shame, really. The combination could have been fun to watch.

8. Everytime I see an interview with Broncos coach Josh McDaniels, he just looks like a deer in headlights. The guy was not ready to be a head coach. After suffering through four years of Romeo Crennel, I know all too well what that’s like, Bronco fans.

Josh McDaniels, excited about the chance to drag an NFL franchise into hell

7. I think the Giants take a step back this year. Their defense is all banged up, they got no legit threat at receiver, and Tom Coughlin can only wear on players for so long. It’ll be all Cowboys and Eagles this year, with a little Redskin annoyance thrown in.

6. I think it’s beyond hilarious that Bengals first round pick Andre Smith broke his foot two days after finally signing with the team. Dear God, I hope Hard Knocks is still shooting right now!

5. Speaking of Smith, how douche-y was his agent this week on Hard Knocks? That guy epitomized everything that is gross and wrong with agents. The bling, the car, the suit – everything made me want to vomit. I feel sorry for that poor Bengals executive who had to deal with that douche everyday on the phone.

4. With Matt Shaub acing gimpy this week, how much do the Texans regret trading Sage Rosenfelds? Any way they could trade back for him? That might be the first time in NFL history something like that happens.

3. I won’t be watching any of these 4^th preseason games this year, and nor should you. Waste of time. The league really should look at eliminating that fourth exhibition game permanently. Nobody watches, and nobody cares – fan and player alike.

2. Watching Brandon Marshall’s defiance in practice this week was one of the funniest things I’ve seen in the football world. Swatting down passes, walking during drills, it was all so priceless. But what of the poor ball boy who has to run after the balls that Marshall punted away? That, if nothing else, makes him King Douche.

1. I think I like Kiss Da Baby over the Fat Lady Sings. Think I’ll make the switch.

Marc Daniels' From the Pressbox

seinpez — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 03:55:41 +0000

You play to win the game.

Aug. 25, 2009

By Marc Daniels
UCFAthletics.com

You play to win the game.

Herm Edwards, the former coach of the Jets and Chiefs, made the line famous when explaining the goal of any game was to win. For Conference USA, the time has come for its fraternity to take Herm’s advice in regards to games against BCS schools.

Kansas City Chiefs Preview 09

tabsports — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 20:50:20 +0000

2008 Record: 2-14, 2008 TABRank: 29, Tentative 2009 AFC West Projection: 2nd
For the first time in about two decades, the Kansas City Chiefs find themselves amidst a complete rebuilding program. Kansas City finished the 2007 season on a nine-game losing streak, then went 2-14 last year, blowing second-half leads in several of the team’s loses. Chiefs GM, president and chief executive officer Carl Peterson resigned from his positions after being with the team for 20 seasons. Meanwhile, Herm Edwards was fired as head coach. Furthermore, the franchise is continuing a youth movement throughout its roster. The movement started last season and continued in the offseason as the new front office regime came into place. Mastermind Scott Pioli comes to Kansas City with his success as the Patriots’ VP of Player Personnel, and new head coach Todd Haley was the offensive coordinator for the NFC-Champion Arizona Cardinals. Pioli acquired Matt Cassel from New England, even though Tyler Thigpen improved throughout last season. Can Kansas City pull off a surprising turnaround in 2009 a la last year’s Dolphins and Falcons teams?

Before the arrival of Pioli, Kansas City looked like a team just a few steps away from breaking out into contention status. Pioli may have made those steps for the Chiefs with the trade for Cassel. Cassel showed some very impressive play in New England last year, especially towards the end of the season, after learning on the sidelines for the first three seasons of his career. If Cassel can learn to feel pressure in the pocket better and look over to the hot routes quicker, it’ll go a long way in his improvement. If offensive coordinator Chan Gailey sticks with the spread offense, Cassel and Thigpen (now the backup quarterback) could be quite the impressive pair, especially for two quarterbacks drafted in the seventh round. Haley and Gailey may be more inclined to use the spread now that the Chiefs signed Amani Toomer this past Tuesday. Toomer may work his way to the starting lineup to compliment Dwayne Bowe. Bowe has great size, quickness, route-running ability and body control, four qualities which put him among the league’s best receivers. Mark Bradley and Bobby Engram figure to be other considerable options. The offensive line also has a nice infusion of young talent and veteran experience, but the unit still has several shortcomings. Left tackle Branden Albert and Brian Waters are the best offensive linemen on the team, thus Kansas City will need to combat the line’s shortcomings with quick passes by Cassel and runs designed to the left. Larry Johnson won’t return to past form, but he can still be effective on a somewhat consistent basis. Jamaal Charles and Kolby Smith both have great upside and provide a nice punch to compliment Johnson.

On defense, coordinator Clancy Pendergast has the tall task of boosting a pass rush that mustered an NFL worst-ever 10 sacks in 16 games (including 10 games without a sack). Pendergast joined Haley on the trip from Arizona to Kansas City, and he’ll likely employ the similar hybrid/under scheme that he used with the Cardinals. Considering the 2009 roster, the hybrid defense may be the best scheme for early success. DT Glenn Dorsey works better in a 4-3 while DE Tyson Jackson and OLB Mike Vrabel were brought to Kansas City with the 3-4 in mind. Tank Tyler will have the most important transition, as he needs to be able to take up multiple guys as a nose tackle. Tyler has the build to become a player like Jason Ferguson, an undersized, yet strong and effective nose tackle. Tamba Hali, Derrick Johnson and Zach Thomas will round out a solid starting lineup at linebacker. Brandon Flowers, Brandon Carr, Maurice Leggett were a great rookie trio at cornerback last year. Bernard Pollard and Jarrad Page round out a great, young secondary.

Punter Dustin Colquitt is about the only stud on special teams. The return and coverage units need to improve. Coordinator Steve Hoffman has a noted history of improving the kicking game, which is probably one of the lesser concerns involving the Chiefs’ special teams.

The Chiefs play some impressive ball despite the 2-14 finish, as they lost seven games by only one possession. Kansas City has some promising youth that was drafted during the Edwards-Peterson era, as well as some veterans with great experience and character added during the current administration. Add the new front office and coaching staff to the equation, and Kansas City’s hopes for contention in the near future have some substance to it. At least one team every year breaks out form the division cellar to make the playoff; this team looks like a favorite to make that meteoric voyage, especially considering that the Chiefs play in the weak AFC West.

Burning Question: How can Pendergast best use the front seven in hopes for a surprising playoff push?
Kansas City’s front seven will mostly depend on the usage of former first-rounders Dorsey, Jackson, Hali and Johnson. Pendergast needs to put Dorsey in a three- or four-technique role, one which would allow Dorsey to use his combination of quickness and strength to blow up the gap between the offensive guard and tackle. Pendergast has used the “30” front on occasion; he’ll need to line up Dorsey at end then and then move him to under tackle in the 4-3 “under” scheme. Jackson projects to be a great pure 3-4 end, so he’s fine lining up in the five-gap. Jackson probably fits as a defensive tackle in the normal 4-3 than an under 4-3. Hali has wonderful pass rush skills, so he should be the primary attacker as a 3-4 OLB. He may benefit from the new looks, having struggled a bit playing on the line all the time last year. Johnson has great speed, athleticism and range, so he’ll be fine at ILB as long as the defensive line gives him space. The players will need some transition time. This can work in 2009, but the brain trust will need to be as sharp as ever for that to happen.

Turnaround Time?
It seems like one of the cellar dwellers from 2008 HAS to make the playoffs. Each of the last six seasons, at least one team who originally had a top five draft pick earlier that year made the playoffs. In this span, nine teams pulled off this feat. Six more teams finished .500 or better after having a top five pick. Will the Chiefs be the next team to make a jump from cellar dwellers to playoff contenders? Below is a comparison to the past teams from 2003-2008 to pull off the feat. Note that Kansas City has a new coach, quarterback AND defensive scheme (a 3-4/4-3 switch). No other team had all three changes. Then again, only one team had none of those changes. Also, see how Kansas City had the worst record of the bunch two years prior to the turnaround, making a further convoluted outlook on the Chiefs’ chances.

Team	Draft Pick	Previous Years	New Coach?	New QB?	D switch?
2009 Chiefs	3rd	4-12 and 2-14	Yes*	Yes	Yes
2008 Dolphins	1st	6-10 and 1-15	Yes*	Yes	No
2008 Falcons	3rd	7-9 and 4-12	Yes*	Yes**	No
2007 Buccaneers	4th	11-5 and 4-12	No	Yes	No
2006 Saints	2nd	8-8 and 3-13	Yes*	Yes	No
2006 Jets	4th	10-6 and 4-12	Yes*	No	Yes
2005 Bears	4th	7-9 and 5-11	No	Yes**	No
2005 Buccaneers	5th	7-9 and 5-11	No	No	No
2004 Chargers	1st	8-8 and 4-12	No	No	Yes
2003 Cowboys	5th	5-11 and 5-11	Yes	No	Yes

*-rookie head coach
**-rookie quarterback

Credibility , You Couldn't Make This Sh_t Up If You Tried Because It Just Makes You Laugh !

tophatal — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 18:24:17 +0000

Traditionally , I like to sit down and watch many of the sports’ magazine programs that are on television . Primarily , to hear the views of the analysts out there and to see how they might view various situations that are arising around the sports arena. Funnily enough , as I’m sitting in bar with several friends enjoying some light hearted banter. While much of this happens to be going on. I look up to see none other than Matt Millen and Herm Edwards on ESPN , discussing the NFL . Now don’t get me wrong , but while both of these men were successful over the course of their playing careers. When it came to being on the sidelines either from the executive standpoint or from a coach’s . Both Edwards and Millen , shall we say , were less than successful ?

Former Lions' President & CEO Matt Millen. He's now been hired by ESPN to provide analysis on the NFL as well as college football. picture appears courtesy of ap/photo / Paul Sancya ..........................

Millen presided in taking the Detroit Lions from being a once respected franchise within the NFL and then proceeded to turn them into a pedantic and absolutely atrocious football team. In the 2008-09 season the Lions showed us ineptitude that no one thought that they’d ever witness within the NFL . Losing all sixteen regular season games tends to take a great deal effort. For the Detroit Lions under Matt Millen’s tenure , they made it all look so effortlessly easy. And that’d usually take some doing.

Trey Wingo (left), Herm Edwards (center) and Mark Schlereth of ESPN discuss the NFL on the network's NFL Live . picture appears courtesy of espn.go.com/ Alex Hughes copyrighted material @ All rights reserved .................

For Herm Edwards, let’s just say that the most memorable sound byte uttered from his lips, has been “…you play the game to win.” Unfortunately, for dear old Herm, winning wasn’t something that came along with a great deal of regularity in either of his tenureships as a coach, with the New York Jets or the Kansas City Chiefs . I can only surmise that ESPN had turned to these two individuals , merely because on the food chain when it came to former NFL players or coaches or any other perceived doyenne of that ilk. Both Edwards and Millen were so far down on the totem pole , that their asking price may well have been a cardboard box to sleep in and a cup of soup. In reality though , ESPN may well the largest sport’s broadcasting unit in the world. But when it comes to credible sports’ journalism, they lie up there , somewhere between the guys responsible for the ‘Watergate Scandal’ and the idiots who presided over the Jayson Blair cover up .

ESPN now has become for all sense purpose , purely an enteratinment outlet source , rather than a venue being well informed source of sports information. In many respects it borders on watching a three ringed circus with the presenters acting like a bunch of circus clowns. All that’s left out of the programming is the perfunctory pie in the face routine . But then again a pie in the face is definitely meant to be funny , isn’t it ?

Wayne Gretzky a principal partner in the now bankrupt Phoenix Coyotes' NHL franchise. picture appears courtesy of ap/photo/ Matt Trahern ............

It’d appear that Gary Bettman in his own perceived urgency to see the NHL remain relevant. He can only be aghast, with what’s allegedly happening with regard to what was deemed to be the impending auction of the almost defunct Phoenix Coyotes . It has been a complete farce ! Bettman and the Board of Governors of the NHL have refused the bid of Jim Balsillie , who as founder and CEO of RIM , the makers of the Palm Pilot and Blackberry, had stated that should he acquire the franchise , he would move it to Canada. Something that the NHL seems to have no desire for. The other potential bidder is Chicago White Sox and Bulls’ owner Jerry Reinsdorf . And it certainly hasn’t helped that it’s now perceived that Reinsdorf is said to be having cold feet as to continuing his pursual of the bid. Especially as the litigation process surrounding the Coyotes gets murkier by the minute . Much of this has gone on primarily because the franchise has been mismanaged , while onetime hockey great, Wayne Gretzky has presided over the debacle. The team is literally bankrupt, not only financially , but also in terms of their competitive being. There mightn’t be a worse ran franchise in all of professional sports . And that’d include Donald Sterling’s Los Angeles Clippers .

NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman speaks with the press prior to the 2008 NHL Stanley Cup Finals between the Detroit Red Wings and Pittsburgh Penguins . picture appears courtesy of getty images/ Jim McIsaac ......................

Much of this has come from the franchise’s eagerness to rid itself of its debts, incurred in operating in the middle of nowhere. Whoever felt, that it was a good idea to have a franchise in Phoenix , couldn’t have done a great deal of research to begin with. And while the curiosity factor initially brought in the fans. After that initial impact , it wouldn’t have been remiss to state that was the only malaise for the Coyotes. But it clearly stems from the fact that the hierarchy of the NHL and its players have always been at an impasse when it comes to the business aspect of making the sport a truly successful entity. And even after their historical labor shutdown. It’d appear that the NHL and its players simply haven’t learnt their lesson.

Bulls and Chicago White Sox owner, Jerry Reinsdorf. He's now pursuing the purchase of the Phoenix Coyotes of the NHL. But it'd also appear that he's reluctant to meet the over inflated price that the NHL and Coyotes' owners are said to be looking for. At the same time the NHL have turned down the bid put forward by RIM CEO , Jim Balsillie. Bettman as Governor of the NHL has been openly critical of Balsillie and as to his honesty and intentions with regard to the Coyotes. picture appears courtesy of afp/ Arun Jawall .................

The NHL franchises are simply back to their idiocy of paying the players exorbitantly large sums in the form of long term contracts when the revenues just aren’t simply there to justify it at all. But then again watching the NHL conduct their business is very much like watching a drunk taking a field sobriety test. They’re just bound to screw things up one way or another and then simply look to blame someone else for their problems.

Falcons' wide receiver Roddy White. The fifth year starter is holding out hoping to have his contract reneogiated whereupon he's paid in line with the likes of Larry Fitzgerald of the Arizona Cardinals. I expect the tooth fairy to be laughing at this juncture. Because not even she's of the belief that White is that good . Much less is due to paid on par of player of Fitzgerald's caliber. picture appears courtesy of ap/photo/ Matthew Gibbons .......................

I’ve no doubt that there are some electrifying players around the NFL. Larry Fitzgerald simply springs to mind. Randy Moss and Tom Brady of the New England Patriots . Peyton Manning of the Indianapolis Colts and Adrian Peterson of the Minnesota Vikings . But would anyone deem to put the Atlanta Falcons’ Roddy White in that particular category ? The player is obviously besides himself , if he’s off the impression that the Falcons are about to acquiesce to his demands , and pay him Fitzgerald type money. Then he’s a bigger idiot than the comedian , Carrot Top ! Roddy White has yet to make his mark within the NFL , let alone be considered one of the pre-eminent wide receivers in the NFL. But yet hear we have a fifth year starter looking to be treated like he’s veteran of the league who ought to be getting more respect than he deserves. His stats and presence are nowhere on par with that of Fitzgerald , at all.
And he’s by no means a friggin’ game changer by any stretch of the imagination !

It’s enough that the league and Commissioner Roger Goodell now has an image problem , that borders on being made comparison to that of the gangsters of the roaring twenties and thirties. We’ve got players being jailed for vehicular homicide and another even more prominent player in Michael Vick coming off federal jail term but now looking to be reinstated get by the NFL. And at the same time resume his career in football at the professional level.

Well now comes the even more arduous task facing Goodell and that of the newly designated NFLPA Executive Director in DeMaurice Smith. With the NFL about to opt of the collective bargaining agreement which expires at the end of the 2010-11 season. The negotiations will no doubt , become somehwhat contentious. The players seek a larger part of what they believe to be an even larger slice of a pie that runs into billions of dollars. And the NFL now knows that in this uncertain economic climate, many of their patrons in terms of the corporate clients may not be willing to impart with their funds the way that they once did. Furthermore, the broadcast and cable networks though they tend to make their contract agreements several years in advance. They’ll be watching with great intense scrutiny as to how everything plays out. They more than anyone else have more to lose should things go up in smoke. And at the same time the fans may well be the biggest losers of all, should an agreement not be reached between the two parties. An uncapped season could lead to ticket prices rising in order for many of the franchises recoup some of the lost revenues. But then again, what’s new ?

Giants' linebacker addresses members of the press at the Giants' training camp held on the campus of the University of Albany , Albany , New York. The player insists that he acted approriately with regard to the Plaxico Burress incident. And has stated that he'd carry out the same course of action again, without fail. picture appears courtesy of ap/photo/ Mike Groll .......................

Plaxico Burress’ lawyer Benjamin Brafman, states that there were mitigating circumstances concerning his client’s predsiposition , with regard to him being indicted on illegal possession of a firearm and criminal neglect. Unless I’m mistaken there can be no mitigating circumstances for carrying a weapon that was unlicensed in any of the states where Burress apparently either has a home or that was his place of employment. Brafman is merely adding insult to injury by disprespecting the public and above all the integrity of the judicial system within the state of New York. But then again one merely has to look at what occured at the Latin Quarter Club in Manahattan , to realize what a complete ass Burress is to begin with ! I can only hope that the judicial system within the state of New York and in particular Manhattan makes sure that an example is made of Burress to begin with. As to Buress’ former teammate, Antonio Pierce . Who states , that he acted responsibly and would do the same thing all over again. I’ve this to say to him ” … did it not for one instance occur to you , that with Burress having a concealed weapon in a night club they were asking for trouble to begin with ” ?

Well there you have it my take on issues such as credibility within the realms of the sports arena and what I for one find completely comedic about it all. Hopefully there are one or two stories that you’ve indeed come across as of late. That’ve ended up with you asking yourself the question . Are they really that stupid ? And surely they didn’t just do that or actually want us to believe that was what they meant ?

I gladly look forward to reading your responses as to the content matter and that of your own particular sport’s stories that you found amusing.

Never Underestimate the Heart of a Champion

brendantyman — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 14:40:04 +0000

Kevin Garnett may be out for the playoffs, but the Boston Celtics are not done yet. (Reuters)

By Brendan Tyman

Go ahead, Stephen A. Smith, pick your boys LeBron James and Kobe Bryant to meet in the NBA Finals. Everyone in America take the Chicago Bulls (Boston’s first round opponent) as your Cinderella team in the Eastern Conference. The Boston Celtics should not even compete in the playoffs without Kevin Garnett. Like Herm Edwards once said, “This is why you play the game.”

The Celts may be better off without KG because he has not proven to be fully healthy. Is Garnett the most indespensible player on Boston? Maybe, but they still have last year’s NBA Finals MVP, Paul Pierce, and Ray Allen (a.k.a. Jesus Shuttlesworth). The C’s have one of the best point guards in the NBA in Rajon Rondo (he can shoot now).

Off the bench, Leon Powe and Tony Allen are back and healthy. They have Stephon Marbury who can start on some playoff teams.

Garnett is a big loss and you cannot replace him, but the heart of the tiger is still there. The Celtics are 18-7 without him this season. Now let us watch and see if someone can dethrone the defending champs. The postseason has just become an even playing field.

Top-40 Available Sports URLs

Chad Ruter & Justin Jacobs — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 03:08:07 +0000

In case you missed it, a little more than a month ago one of the last remaining 867-5309 phone numbers (made famous by the Tommy Tutone’s song) was put up for auction on ebay, with bids topping $365,000. As we were surfing the internet trying to find a new home for our website , we stumbled across someone selling the URL pertaining to the infamous song (hey, it’s got free shipping, so I’ll lay $2.99 down on it!). That got us to thinking (a stretch for us, we know) what sports websites could we purchase, market, and then re-sell for a profit (because…hey, times are tough, and we gots to get paid).

So here are the Top-40 sports-related URLs (and what we would do with them) that are available.

40. www.cappingMLB.com

For the envious small-market team that’s in all of us (except for the Steinbrenners…).

39. www.mycousinvinnydacoach.com

The sequel that no Bulls fan would ask for.

38. www.saveseattlesports.com

A virtual visitation for what used to be a thriving sports metropolis. Ya know, like when the Sonics made it to the finals (and lost) or the Seahawks made it to the Super Bowl (and lost). OR…a social networking site for all of Shawn Kemp’s illegitimate children.

37. www.blindedbytheslider.com

Because Cubs fans will never forget how much Corey Patterson sucked. Future home of disgruntled Phillies fans after Ryan Howard dips below 30 homers a season…

36. www.mannyisacancer.com

A message board for Red Sox Nation to whine about a guy that hit .347 with a 1.060 OPS in July of 2008 when he reportedly ‘quit’ on his team. The Red Sox fans should quit too…as in: quit your bitchin’!!

35. www.themanningface.com

If you don’t read Bill Simmons, this is what we’re talking about. Notice the URL for that link…whomever owns that site is light years ahead of us. Here’s an example:

34. www.barkleyforbama.com

Despite the fact he has a gambling problem and was arrested for DUI when all he was looking for was little love…we’d still vote for him if he ends up running for governor of Alabama.

33. www.kirilenkos1nightayear.com

For those that don’t know, Utah Jazz forward, Andrei Kirilenko’s wife allows him to sleep around for one night every year. Don’t believe me? I’m not kidding. But since he doesn’t take advantage of his opportunity, this site would be devoted to the women that he passes on.

32. www.crabdribblingtotherack.com

A message board for NBA referees who forgot what the hell a traveling violation was. See: James, LeBron.

31. www.knightsfoldingchair.com

Where we would chronicle videos of Bobby Knight – like this one:

30. www.findingphelpsbong.com

A daily blog devoted to a sheriff and his search for justice! Because one man’s smoking bong is another man’s smoking gun…

29. www.thesummerof10.com

Where LeBron, Kobe, Amaré, Bosh and DWade give Twitter clues as to where they want to go when they hit the open market. To be frequented by all 30 NBA GMs…well, maybe just 29 because Memphis already knows that none of these guys wanna play in Tennessee (or they’ll be located in Vegas).

28. www.thezenmasterphil.com

Aspiring coaches can go here to learn inspiring coaching techniques, such as playing the Bongo, crisis management, and pointing at the greatest player in the league with eight minutes left in the fourth quarter to get back in the game. You can also learn how to successfully date your bosses daughter.

27. www.rickeysthebest.com

Rickey Henderson admitted on Mike and Mike in the Morning that the rumor of him framing his first $1 million check was true (prompting the Oakland A’s to freak when their accounting department was off by a million), so this site would be dedicated to all of those great Rickey-isms.

26. www.thereisonlyoneLT.com

Where LT shattering Joe Theismann’s ankle is played on loop. Lawrence Taylor is the only LT (don’t give us any of this LaDainian Tomlinson crap). And remember kids, “Don’t smoke crack!”

25. www.kobedoesnotknowhowyourasstastes.com

Despite the below Shaq-rap being funny, it’s much advised not to anger The Black Mamba. See: Artest, Ron. Kobe would go here to get bulletin-board material.

24. www.fansofhockey.com

The official Facebook site for all Canadiens and the two Canadien refugees living in North Dakota.

23. www.evandersrightear.com

Where fans of the sweet science will come to voice their frustrations about the downfall of boxing. In-part due to the appetite of a cannibalistic Iron Mike.

22. www.drinkingwithdaly.com

Because nothing interests the public more than watching finely tuned athletic machines getting sloshed and hanging on hot chicks.

21. www.howeva.com

We were gonna use www.racefor19.com (for El Tigre), HOWEVA…someone mocking Stephen A. Smith has to have his own website!

20. www.pacmancapsthebottle.com

One of two things could happen on this site: Pacman could clean up his act and not suck as a player, or he could start shooting glass bottles off a ledge. Either way…we don’t really care…

19. www.shaqtastic.com

Where people can go to find his latest youtube videos, Twitter updates, and all of the Shaqisms you can handle.

18. www.detroitlionssuicidehotline.com

This page is completely blank except for the phone number to a local Detroit suicide hot-line which appears in a font size of 17 (the number of years since their last playoff win). The font will grow every year.

17. www.gregodensrockingchair.com

A site where the people that share the same disease as Benjamin Button and Greg Oden can open up and talk about themselves with others like them.

16. www.weretalkingaboutpractice.com

In an attempt to move his famous videos in the 21st century, the Tom Emanski practice tapes will be sold here for $9.99 a piece…only available on VHS.

15. www.wecanbuildonthis.com

A resumé updating website that caters to recently terminated football coaches.

14. www.donttalkaboutplayoffs.com

Will be started and maintained by the commissioners of the six BCS conferences…and the president of Notre Dame.

13. www.plaxknowsgunsafety.com

An online gun-safety school for professional athletes who feel owning a firearm, even if it isn’t registered, is a God-given (or a second Amendment) right.

12. www.vicksofftheleash.com

This site is a webcam broadcast of a PETA member stalking Michael Vick while he’s under house arrest. (No animals will be harmed in the making of this website)

11. www.coachingwithoutpants.com

From the company that brought you www.thezenmasterphil.com, the alternative take on modern coaching techniques – including how to win football games with just ten players. Pants not required.

10. www.wnbabailout.com

If the NBA is borrowing $200 million to stay afloat, you know the WNBA is going in the tank. On this site, fans can sell their WNBA swag to keep the league alive.

9. www.a-fraudinsurance.com

Where you go to sign a petition so that your favorite team never signs A-Rod…or…a site for AIG haters.

8. www.theozzietranslator.com

This site uses state-of-the-art translating software (see machine below) to figure out what the hell Ozzie Guillen is saying when he gets upset. Paid for by Chicago sports writers not named Jay Mariotti.

7. www.thecalhounretirementfund.com

“Not a dime back!” If you feel that Jim Calhoun needs cash now for an early retirement, you can donate to his cause on this site.

6. www.marvbites.com

The legendary sportscaster, Marv Albert takes his taste for high-end cuisine to new heights by offering reviews of some of the country’s finest corner establishments.

5. www.acenturyisnotenough.com

This site will remain the most popular Cubs message board until 2108…when www.twocenturiesisnotenough.com takes its place.

4. www.feardrandrews.com

A flash based computer game website where the goal is to make it through a game without one of your players having to call the famed doctor.

3. www.mickletits.com

The official site of ‘The Bro.’ If you type in the promotional code “Winged Foot” you get an extra 10% off everything on the left side of the website.

2. www.courtingea.com

Following the mass popularity of Japanese dating sims, Electronic Arts presents: “Courting Erin Andrews.” The overall points leader from this game receives a 50″ plasma TV, a PS3, this year’s library of EAs sports titles, and a restraining order signed by the lovely Erin Andrews.

1. www.thepassionofgus.com

We love us some EA…but a site devoted to Gus Johnson is what this world needs…

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Hiring These Really Young Belichick Assistants is Going VERY Well...

jimchandley — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 03:46:39 +0000

Jets Probowl CB Darrelle Revis

By Jim Chandley

Eric Mangini was a disaster. Everybody got very excited when he came in and went 10-6. I hate Herm Edwards, he’s a terrible coach, but I think that season was a product of talent Herm had gathered. Mangini didn’t make a ton of moves before the season started (although in all seriousness, nice pick on Darrelle Revis, that kid can play).

But Mangini was a failure. Even if Brett Favre doesn’t throw away the Jets’ season on like three occasions this year, was anybody afraid of them? Fear wouldn’t describe what fans and analysts had for the Jets; it was more like laughter. The message from a mess like this used to be clear; that guy needs more seasoning! He needs to coach a big-time college program. He needs to be an NFL coordinator. He needs to change careers. Whatever.

That guy didn’t used to get another head coaching job right away. But there he is, head coach in Cleveland where another Belichick product failed. And oh by the way, the guy the Browns wanted for the GM job said “no thanks” because he didn’t want to work with Mangini.As if the re-manginification of the NFL weren’t bad enough, the Broncos had to go and make matters worse.

Eric "Twice-the-size-of-a-normal-Man-gini" as one blogger has dubbed him

Mangini was hired at 35, that was clearly too young. So the Denver Broncos figured they should fire one of the most successful coaches of his generation (Mike Shanahan) and hire a guy who’s EVEN YOUNGER.

They brought in Josh McDaniels, the ‘next big thing’ from the Belichick tree. McDaniels (32) was the youngest coach in any major sport in America when he was hired in January until a week later when the Buccaneers hired Raheem Morris.

[Side note: Anyone who knows me knows that I am not writing about McDaniels because I'm bitter. I wanted McDaniels fired after Superbowl XLII. He is a bad play caller and while he has done some good things in New England, he is the following: a great quarterbacks coach and nothing more.]

Now that that’s off my chest, why are we on this subject? Oh that’s right, because McDaniels has already hit the first bump in his road and it’s the kind of bump that can leave you with a broken axle and no tow trucks for 50 miles.

Josh McDaniels (middle) with his mentor and former student

I don’t even think that McDaniels was responsible for the rumors that came out about Jay Cutler being traded to Tampa Bay. And I will side with McDaniels to some extent; Cutler is being a prima dona to say the least. But they have a saying in the business Josh, it’s sort of like tough luck, but in the NFL they have a slightly more profane version…

The moral of the story is, that ship belongs to McDaniels now. And however small and seemingly harmless, there is a leak in the hull. Jay Cutler may be a whiny little you-know-what, but that’s not Cutler’s problem as much as it is McDaniels’. It’s too early to write anyone off as a coach if they’ve only been at it two months (unless you’re Tom Jackson). All I’m saying is that McDaniels has a lot to prove, and in my eyes, not a lot of time to do it.

Chiefs Go A' Courtin'

Dino — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 03:21:43 +0000

Although it’s only been a short time since the Chiefs broke up with fired Herm Edwards after a rather unhealthy relationship lackluster couple of seasons, it appears the organization is ready to dive back into the dating pool jump start the new head coach search: “Chiefs get permission to talk to Cardinals’ Haley“

A bit anachronistic, but it’s a nice gesture to get permission from the parents before a proper courtship begins. Next step is to ask about the dowry during your initial chaperoned date.

Now, remember, Chiefs: You just got out of a serious relationship that you put a lot of heart into. We know you’re in a fragile state; you thought Herm was the one, but he was a Taurus — while on the surface he seemed to be committed to you, he never could fully reveal his true self. Astrologically, it wasn’t meant to be.

Yes, it must be difficult to see Herm has already moved on, but that’s not a reason to simply say “yes” to the first suitor that expresses an interest in you. This is your chance to reinvent yourself, assert your independence! We know it’s easy to look for a quick rebound date, the sure thing. Be selective with looking for a new beau — make him woo you, play hard-to-get a bit. You deserve better than the treatment you’ve received the past few years — set some boundaries and empower yourself to make good relationship choices. Get the guy to follow up on his promises and call him out if he’s not treating you right.

This is your year, Chiefs. As you consider potential gentlemen callers, hold your head high, demand respect. Find your soulmate. Find someone who’s a class act, a good listener, a guy with a sense of humor who doesn’t take himself too seriously. Someone who remembers your birthday. Someone who will surprise you at work with flowers. Someone who plans a romantic getaway for the two of you. Someone who loves you for you.

Oh, and when you do go out on the town, arm and arm with your new guy, you should wear something totally fabulous that will make that Denver bitch jealous.

Tony Dungy - 2009 Inspiration of a Lifetime Award

Byron — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 16:26:17 +0000

The Friday night before the Super Bowl over 6,000 people attended the 10th annual Super Bowl Gospel

Playing Fantasy Baseball For Real

Chad Ruter — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 04:12:42 +0000

Will his fantasy baseball approach work in building the Cubs in '09?

It’s official. Jim Hendry is the MLB version of me. Those that have sparred with me in fantasy baseball know how much I love to talk, trade, and tinker with my team until I’ve got everything in a perfect line. I even get into serious trade talks with people when I’m 100% satisfied with my team. Wheeling and dealing is a drug; it’s an addiction. I love crunching the numbers, and wavering for hours on whether or not to make a move. I get especially excited when I’ve swindled someone in a trade (see: Jacobs, Justin).

Let’s recap the two trades the Cubs have made in the last week-and-a-half:

1. Cubs Receive:
-LHP Garrett Olson
-RHP Henry Williamson

Orioles Receives:
-OF Felix Pie

2. Cubs Receive:
-RHP Aaron Heilman

Mariners Receive
-SS Ronny Cedeno
-LHP Garrett Olson

Essentially, the Cubs traded former can’t-miss prospect Felix Pie, and ‘Rally Killing’ Ronny Cedeno for Aaron Heilman and Henry Williamson, with Garrett Olson being strung along through the process. Am I happy about what has gone down? In a word: no.

I’ve stated in the past that I’m a fan of Jim Hendry and am content with the way he’s ran the Cubs to date. He does however, make some head-scratching trades every once in a while.

He'll get the shot in Baltimore he was never afforded in Chicago.

Trading Felix Pie was a painful day for many Cubs fans. It was the second time in five years the North Siders gave up on a 5-tool outfielder (see: Patterson, Corey). In Chicago, young players don’t always get a fair shot. If they don’t cut the mustard early and often, they are ridiculed by the media, which eventually turns the fans against them. Pie was dealt because of a roster squeeze, and it’s the worst way to lose a player because of the lack of value that you get in return. He would’ve had to stay on the Cubs active roster the entire season if they would’ve kept him and when a team knows you’re in a bind, they don’t exactly give you a pick of the litter. If they would’ve wanted to send him to Iowa, Pie would have had to clear waivers first and that just doesn’t happen with 24-year-old OF with the raw abilities that he has shown (Cedeno was in the same situation).

What disappoints me the most is that the Cubs were so hell bent on getting maximum offense out of all eight fielding positions, that Pie’s true value was hidden by his poor performances at the plate. What was wrong with him not hitting well, but playing spectacular defense in center field while batting in the eight spot? In his major league career he has 281 plate appearances, which is roughly 3/5 of a season. In two years with the big club, that is a pretty small sample size to try and prove yourself.

Alas, he was gone a week ago and I had to convince myself to like Garrett Olson (since Williamson will probably never make the majors). Trying to persuade yourself to like a player that had a 6.65 ERA in 2008, bring his career ERA down is tough task, but I wasn’t doing half bad. I kept reminding myself that he had three things going for him. One, he pitched in the extremely difficult AL East. Two, he is left-handed. And three, he was a top-50 pick in the 2005 draft. In the immortal words of Herm Edwards, WE CAN BUILD ON THIS!

Don't let the door hit ya on the way out, Ronny!

So much for getting excited about Olson. The Cubs shipped him and one of my least favorite Cubs, (I call him “Rally Killing” because he was always good for a strikeout or popout in a key situation with men on base during his career) Ronny Cedeno. He got his full-time shot in 2006, but was less than stellar. The payback Chicago received from Seattle in exchange for Olson and Cedeno was the recently acquired Aaron Heilman. Let’s just say that being a ‘team player’ isn’t exactly one of his strong suits. Late last season, he was whining to the higher ups in New York (Mets) that he wanted to be a starter again. He hadn’t ever fared well as a starter before, but after struggling for a bulk of the season in a relief role, he thought that six innings of his 5+ ERA would be better than his usual one. Jeeez, I wonder why the Mets weren’t quick to jump on that opportunity?

Two conclusions can be drawn from the pair of trades Chicago made. One, the Jake Peavy deal is probably not going to happen. Two of the major trade pieces were going to be included in the deal were Felix Pie and Ronny Cedeno, who now both play in a different league. The Cubs minor league system is horribly thin and without these two fringe average (albeit young) major leaguers to sweeten the deal, the Padres won’t have any desire to trade their most talented player. Secondly, they’ve made it clear that they’re going with the poor mans theory in the bullpen…throw a bunch of crap against the wall and see what sticks. Quality relief pitching fluctuates so heavily from year-t0-year that sometimes the best option is to get a bunch of guys that are decent, and pray a couple have an above-average season. I’d love to have Kerry Wood manning the closer role, but instead we’re stuck with a couple of talented guys along with a few has-beens.

So goes the life of a Cubs fan…

Television luring Edwards, not coaching

Adam Schefter — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 15:05:55 +0000

When the Kansas City Chiefs fired Herm Edwards on Friday, they essentially deactivated him from coac

Cowher to Chiefs? 'Not going to happen,' source says

NFL.com Staff — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 14:53:02 +0000

Initially, at least, it doesn’t appear Herm Edwards’ replacement in Kansas City will be

Big News Report for the Week Ending Sunday, January 25, 2009

hughster1 — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 04:04:10 +0000

Obamas at the Inaugural Ball

On Tuesday, two million people packed Washington DC as Barack Obama became the forty-fourth President of the United States. As it turns out, the two million people were not there to watch the inauguration, but were in line to apply for three open positions at a Home Depot.

Outgoing president George Bush left a note in the Oval Office for Barack Obama labeled “44.” He also left a note for Thomas Jefferson labeled “question mark.”

Despite the tough economy, staffers in the outgoing Bush administration have already lined up new employment, including one former employee of the Treasury Department who lined up work as a manager at Abercrombie & Fitch. While he has to stand with his shirt off all day, it’s still way less humiliating than working for George W. Bush.

At an inauguration event on Sunday, Rev. Gene Robinson asked the crowd to pray for “understanding that our president is a human being and not a messiah.” Upon hearing these words, Barack Obama struck Robinson with lightning.

On Wednesday, Caroline Kennedy dropped out of the running for Hillary Clinton’s New York senate seat, citing personal reasons. Those reasons: that she personally does not want to get a drinking problem or be assassinated.

Wealthy Mexican investor Carlos Slim has invested a quarter billion dollars in the ailing New York Times Company, becoming the publisher’s largest shareholder. In order to cut costs, Slim will have the New York Times and eighteen other newspapers the company owns move into a small one bedroom apartment.

On Thursday, Rod Blagojevich called his upcoming impeachment trial a “sham.” He also called a product great at cleaning up spills a “Shamwow.”

Angelina Jolie received an Oscar nomination on Thursday for best actress. Jolie got the nomination for acting like she didn’t sleep with Brad Pitt until after he was divorced.

Both Heath Ledger and Mickey Rourke received Oscar nominations. This means there’s a very good chance at least one Oscar will go to someone who was presumed dead.

The former tourism minister of the Bahamas was among three people detained in connection with a failed plot to extort money from John Travolta. The plot failed because nothing could embarrass Travolta more than “Battlefield Earth.”

Shia LaBeouf has lost his driver’s license after refusing a Breathalyzer test when he was pulled over for a DUI last July. Apparently, LaBeouf can’t act sober, either.

On Sunday night, Oprah Winfrey attended a five thousand dollar a plate dinner with Barack Obama. Oprah racked up a tab of seventy five thousand dollars.

Former American Idol contestant Sanjaya has written a new book titled “The Music in My Head.” Music lovers hope it stays there.

Mark McGwire’s younger brother Jay is circulating a book proposal in which he claims that the former home run king did in fact abuse steroids. The younger McGwire also claims that on family car trips, Mark would poke him, wouldn’t stop looking at him, and told him to stop hitting imself while making him hit himself.

Voters in Nashville on Thursday turned down a proposed law that would have made English the mandatory language for all government business. Grateful Nashville residents are thrilled that they can continue to speak Southern.

The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation donated two hundred fifty-five million dollars to assist in the fight to eradicate polio. The Steve Jobs Foundation then donated the same amount of money to cure a cooler, more youth-oriented disease.

A neo-Nazi group has joined Missouri’s “Adopt-A-Highway” volunteer litter pickup program. Ironically, the group spends most of their time picking up white trash.

In a criticism of global warming theories, a man in Fairbanks, Alaska has created an ice sculpture of a shivering Al Gore. The sculpture is exactly like Gore, except it has more personality.

The Kansas City Chiefs fired coach Herm Edwards after he won just six games in 2 years. After hearing that Edwards had managed to win six games in two years, the Detroit Lions tried to hire him.

And finally, Beatrice Farve, the second-oldest person in the world, died on Monday at age 113. Following Farve tradition, she then decided she wasn’t dead and will live for one more year in New York.

TOUTS Episode 10: We Can Build On This

Justin Jacobs — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 01:06:13 +0000

Today we introduce the first of hopefully many weekly recap podcasts. We try not to cover every news story on a day-to-day basis, because you can find those stories anywhere, but we do want to make sure to touch base on these topics on a weekly basis.

On this weeks show:

Torre’s New Book – http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=3859198

Michael Redd Injury – http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=3859546

Chiefs Fire Herm Edwards – http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3855917

Starting Job is Collins to Lose – http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3859405

Cubs Sold – http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=3852693

NBA All-Stars Announced – http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/allstar2009/news/story?id=3853409

Check out the podcast and give us some feedback so we can determine whether or not we want to continue doing these weekly recaps. Also, don’t forget to subscribe on iTunes and click the digg button, it really helps to get our name out there. Hope you enjoy the podcast and don’t forget about the X-Games tonight!

Listen To This Podcast or Subscribe On iTunes

Download This Episode

We can build on this: The end of the Herm Edwards era

Dex — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 21:07:51 +0000

I miss Herm.

For the longest time, I played the role of Herm Edwards apologist during our forays to the Chiefs bar here in Chicago. Even when things looked terrible–all season–I stood tall by the coach and his pristine pleated pants. But by the end of the year, there was simply no other choice than for the Chiefs to let Herm go and start anew under the guidance of sage football prophet Scott Pioli.

It’s hard to go 20 games under .500 in two seasons, but that’s what Herm accomplished. The Chiefs’ 6-26 record over the 2007 and 2008 seasons is the worst in the NFL. That’s even worse than the Lions, who lost every game this past year but were still 7-25 over that time period.

I still feel that Herm is an excellent teacher, but he’s just not capable of handling everything that comes with being a head coach. For example, Herm is terrific at finding and developing defensive backs. Bernard Pollard, Jarrad Page, Brandon Flowers, and Brandon Carr played admirably behind a completely inept front 7 last year. Maurice Leggett came off the scrap heap to be a valuable contributor and Dajuan Morgan showed promise in his rookie campaign.

But as well as the secondary played, they ran out of gas at the end of the year because the rest of the defense was terrible (10 sacks all year!) and there were inexplicable lapses in concentration in key moments (blowing a 21-10 lead in under 2 minutes against San Diego). I understand that rookies make mistakes, and the Chiefs had an astounding number of first- and second-year players on the team, but golly, by the end of the year, they should be able to understand the basics (i.e. tackling, catching, blocking, running, seeing, not sucking).

But anyway, Herm’s gone now, so it’s time for Pioli to make his first major decision (well, other than firing Herm). He has to find a new coach, and there’s no shortage of viable candidates. Let’s take a look at some of these hip cats, shall we?

Mike Shanahan: Sigh. When I saw on ESPN that the Chiefs were targeting this scumbag as their next head coach, I understandably fell into the depths of dismay. What has Mike Shanahan done lately? Well, I’ll tell you. Over the last three seasons, he’s 24-24 with no trips to the playoffs. Also, as revered as he is in the backwaters of the mountain country, dude has only won one playoff game since John Elway retired. Despite selling his soul and wholeheartedly embracing some of the dirtiest blocking tactics known, the great Shanahan has only won the AFC West once in the last 10 years. So while he’s got an inflated name thanks to his association with Elway, Shanahan’s nothing more than a standard-issue retread coach. (Speaking of retreads, Norv Turner has picked up two AFC West titles in as many years and three playoff wins in that time, but he is universally seen as a shitty coach. Go figure.) Also, Shanahan had almost full control of the roster decisions in Denver, so I doubt he’d want to take a subservient role below Pioli in KC. I’m sure an arena2 league team or a high school will give him that control again. He should look in that direction.

Todd Haley: One week ago, Haley–the Cardinals’ offensive coordinator–got into a very public spat with star wide receiver Anquan Boldin on the sidelines during the most important drive in the franchise’s history. At the time I said, “Who’s that loser and why is he yelling at Anquan Boldin?” Well, since then I’ve read some about this guy and I must say, he’s intriguing. His father was Dick Haley, the executive who helped build those Steelers teams in the ’70s, and if there’s one thing that works in the NFL, it’s nepotism. There’s nothing wrong with keeping it in the family. Absolutely nothing. That being said, he seems to have a pretty good understanding of how to succeed with two superstar receivers and a Hall of Fame quarterback, so I see no reason why he can’t succeed with Dwayne Bowe, Mark Bradley, and Tyler Thigpen. In all honesty, I would consider him. He’s young and could be hungry to prove himself. He also is pals with Pioli, which can’t hurt.

Paul Pasqualoni: Another pal of Pioli. Coached Syracuse for a long time–the Donovan McNabb/Marvin Harrison years– and now helped the Dolphins during their 10-game turnaround as their defensive coordinator. I dunno, it doesn’t seem like a sexy choice, and the Chiefs deserve sexy.

Kirk Ferentz: I doubt there’s a chance that the Iowa coach leaves for the NFL–especially with his son enrolled at the school–but it’s an interesting possibility. Here’s a good article about how he’s good friends with Pioli. I think that Ferentz is better suited for the college game. He’s a great developer of young talent. Dallas Clark and Sean Considine went from walk-ons to the NFL, and Bob Sanders has been phenomenal. He’s also the highest paid state employee in Iowa, so I think he stays. Moving on.

Bill Parcells: No chance.

Jon Gruden: Talk about someone who’s done nothing of note recently. Gruden hasn’t done anything since he took Tony Dungy’s Bucs to the Super Bowl. He also built the Raiders up from nothing, but I feel the Chiefs are simply a bad fit. Again, like Shanahan, Gruden’s ego is probably too big to take orders from a rookie GM.

Bill Cowher: The Chiefs job would be very attractive to Cowher. Kansas City is similar to Pittsburgh in its a team with a rich history in a smaller market obsessed with football. Word on the street is that he doesn’t want to coach in 2009. Oh well, would’ve been fun.

Jason Garrett: No.

Chan Gailey: Gailey did an excellent job turning the Chiefs into an adequate offense by using a high school spread with Tyler Thigpen, but no retreads. Got it? Yes!

I think all signs point to either Haley or Shanahan, so I hope it’s the former. Also, maybe Haley’s experience with a shitty USC quarterback–Matt Leinart–will make him not want to draft another–Mark Sanchez. Fingers crossed.

Nice guys finish last

andygmen — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 14:55:00 +0000

“Nice guys finish last.” – Leo Durocher.

“Nice guys don’t get laid, they get married.” – Raj, a senior imparting his wisdom on a sophmore and freshman.

Another nice guy bit the dust yesterday, Herman Edwards. But we won’t be crying for him. You see, he deserved it.

He mangled not one but two franchises.

He is the ‘player’s coach,’ which is tantamount to a death sentence in professional sports.

He is a masterful purveyor of the prevent, evidenced in its full regalia in January 2005 in a WIN. Yes, as coach of the Jets, Herm’s team won a wild card playoff game before bowing out the following week. But as this New York Giants Blog will always preach, it is not about winning or losing, it is about CHAMPIONSHIPS. And Herm’s sins in this game were a signature for how not to win in the NFL. Utterly disgraceful, he was in a game of footsie vs another master-of-playoff-disaster, Marty Schottenheimer. You win, said Marty. No, I am a nice guy, you win it, said Herm. No, said Marty, we go way back, you win. No, said Herm. This game went back and forth until finally one of them was going to HAVE to win. What happens when an irresistible force meets an immovable object? You could see before your very eyes the laws of physics trying to bend, trying to find SOME WAY for both coaches to lose the game! This game set back the NFL 20 years. Schottenheimer, for his part, would lead his team to a 14-2 record two years later, only to bow out of the playoffs in their first game. Again. Herm would lose his job the following year…

And somehow get traded to the Chiefs for COMPENSATION. That move set back the Chiefs franchise years, and sealed Cunningham’s fate. Now Pioli comes in, and it took all of 9 days (he passed his first test as GM, comment #7) for them to figure out that the Chiefs were going in a new direction. Yes, it is called winning. Pioli wants to win. He wants to win CHAMPIONSHIPS. Coaches like Edwards are nice guys, and nice guys do not win Championships.