Brooke Hogan

WOW. I don’t know what’s more disturbing: this blog post on Brooke Hogan’s MySpace page, or the morons who left comments congratulating her on it and telling her how awesome and true it is. WTF?

Here’s how the press release describes the movie:

“Kung Fu U” in 3D is a Disney-type comedy about of a bunch of nerds and misfits that are sent away by their wealthy parents to the Brentwood Academy (a.k.a. Kung Fu U) to learn the finer arts of self-defense. It’s a heart-warming romp where the rather weathered warriors come to the rescue for the kids, and in turn, the kids rescue the warriors’ seemingly lost souls from what had been their eternal apathy. It’s a feel-good story that reminds us that we’re all the same, no matter what our age, or where we came from, and that we should all stick together.

I’ll bet the idea of the two of them acting is way funnier than the movie.

Things just got worse for Nick Hogan this week. On July 27th, the teen turns 18 (jeebus, he’s not even technically an adult yet?) and will be transferred from the juvenile wing of a Florida jail to the adult general population. Hogan is serving an eight-month sentence for a DUI crash that left his buddy paralyzed.

Hmm, so Hulk Hogan’s kid, who most recently made news for crying to his parents and trying to get moved to house arrest instead of jail, is now going to play with the big boys in prison? I hope daddy taught him some wrestling moves, cause he’s gonna need ‘em.

(I learned it from my mommy)

However, I am starting to lose my empathy for Brooke. Perez Hilton has reported that Brooke made the following statement:

“You know what? I am actually not that much into voting. I think it’s kinda crazy that a woman is running, because I think that women deal with a lot of emotions and menopause and PMS and stuff. Like, I’m so moody all the time, I know I couldn’t be able to run a country, ‘cause I’d be crying one day and yelling at people the next day, ya know?”

- Brooke Hogan

Is this girl serious? First she tries and fails to be a pop superstar and now she’s commenting on the state of American politics!?! And her opinion counts why? She doesn’t even vote!

Why is the Hogan family so screwed up? I grew up loving Hulk Hogan. My brother and I were die-hard Hulkamaniacs, but now that I’m older I realize that Hulk should have probably spent more time at home raising his little delinquents than “fighting” with Andre the Giant. Because it definitely seems as though Brooke’s cradle-robbing mother (She’s is currently dating one of Brooke’s high school classmates) failed terribly in the parenting department. The saddest part is that Brooke markets toward young girls. And there are young girls out there who look up to Brooke for the mere fact that she’s blonde, rich and on television.  And this is the message she has for them!?! I know I am contributing to her relevance and adding to the commentary about her, but someone seriously needs to either take away her speaking privileges or sit her down and make her read a book or two. And no, anything by Candace Bushnell doesn’t count.

Why do we have so many women on television and in the media who are as dumb and worthless as they look? It’s just unfair to place the weight of representing women as successful, smart, and capable on Tina Fey’s shoulders.

You know what? I am actually not that much into voting. I think it’s kinda crazy that a woman is running, because I think that women deal with a lot of emotions and menopause and PMS and stuff. Like, I’m so moody all the time, I know I couldn’t be able to run a country, ‘cause I’d be crying one day and yelling at people the next day, ya know?

Oh dear.  Nice try Brooke, but those “chick with a dick” rumours still won’t go away you know.

Brooke– I think she may be the only normal one out of this whole bunch. I read recently in an US Weekly interview that she is trying to make the best of the terrible situation. If you have been living under a rock for the past year, you should know that the Hogans went from VH1 reality ratings grabbers to jailbirds and cradle-robbers. Brooke has a new reality show premiering tomorrow on VH1 and from the previews it looks mildly entertaining. I think for the most part people will tune in just to see her mental state. Brooke said she is still very close with her father (Hulk) but doesn’t speak with her mother. She feels very uncomfortable around the idea of her mother dating one of Brooke’s schoolyard chums. It’s a bit gross. So why after all of this drama would she want to do a TV show? Well, I think the rest of her family answers that question…. Publicity whores.

Nick Hogan– He was showboat younger brother on Hogan Knows Best and now he is crying in a jailcell. Do I feel bad for Nick Hogan? Uhh…. NO! He was a douchebag on TV because he is one in real life. He was driving 80 mph with his buddy and crashed his car. His friend was a serviceman and now is on a respirator for the rest of his life. Nick is young, stupid and rich…. I don’t anyone else would have gotten a different sentence. Nick got what he deserved. I found it funny and disturbing that one a taped phone conversation with his father that he wanted his own reality show just like Brooke. Again, Publicity whores.

Linda Hogan– Cradle-robber. Simple as that. Oh and she wants all of Hulk’s money. Surprise there when on the show all she was doing was shopping. Linda and Hulk were married for 24 years until Linda secretly filed for divorce last November. That just shows her class. When you are in the public eye you need represent yourself with some class. Too bad Linda missed that memo. She no longer sees her daughter unless they are at the jail visiting Nick at the same time. Is a nineteen year old really worth losing your daughter? I guess for Linda Hogan it is.

HULK– Hulk is used to the public eye. He has been a staple in the wrestling world for years. This, however is different from the scripts of the WWE. Hulk is battling to save properties that he once shared with his estranged wife. He is also trying to mend a relationship between Brooke and Nick. So, Does Hogan Know Best? Turns out he is also dating someone substantially younger than him (not a 19 year old, though). This woman looks eerily like his ex. She is 32 with bleached blonde hair and tan skin that looks like leather. I just want to warn all you stars out there that reality TV is bad news. Stars need to be working on SCRIPTED shows and let reality TV just die. Is there hope for the Hogan family? I guess we will just have to watch and see.

http://www.usmagazine.com/brooke-hogan-confirms-her-mom-forty-eight-is-dating-nineteen-year-old – an excerpt from an Us Weekly interview with Brooke.

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Things have been pretty bad for the Hogan family lately. Son Nick is in jail after wrecking his car and leaving one of his buddies paralyzed. Hulk and Linda are divorcing, with each of them chasing age-inappropriate suitors and generally acting like two children whose parents are out of town.

And then there’s Brooke.

After an attempt at a singing career (and apparently a Drrty-era Christina Aguilera impersonating career), Brooke has decided to deal with her career and family troubles the sensible, rational way: By starring in her own reality show.

Yes, instead of laying low, seeking counseling or just spending time with friends, Brooke has decided to milk the cash cow of her crumbling family one last time with her VH1 show, “Brooke Knows Best.” Click below for a clip:

Looks like she’s dealing with a major personal crisis in a healthy, mature way. I just hope the money Hulk and Linda made from “Hogan Knows Best” is worth all this.

Warning: This video displays graphic images which may be disturbing to some people.

that is the latest pathetic attempt of the hogan’s to be famous. since it’s obvious that hulk hogan can’t quite claim to know best anymore, they’re pushing that responsibility onto their non-incarcerated child, brooke.

brilliant.

you know, i’ve watched ‘hogan knows best’ and i think it’s safe to say that there isn’t a hogan alive that knows best. hulk is a complete weirdo; that hair is enough to warrant free candy after knocking on a neighbor’s door. and anyone who’s got that much return on the investment of buying a tanning bed is just gross.

then, there’s the wife, what’s-her-face. apparently they go to the same hair person. and i’m not sure what she really added to the family except idiot genes. she didn’t know anything about anything and i’m not really even sure she’s a human under all that make-up.

then there’s nick. i don’t even know what to say about this loser. am i the only one that thinks his head looks like a tennis ball? it’s definitely filled with pressurized air. i love how he calls himself a celebrity. he’s like the male version of paris hilton. i wonder if she gave him tips on how to try and wiggle out of a prison sentence? sure does seem like it. she definitely taught him how to cry. anyone who saw even 5 minutes of the show could have seen this situation coming 10 miles away.

and last and least, there’s brooke-y. the “star” of the fam. she says she’s a singer, spelled “s-t-r-i-p-p-e-r”. did you catch the thigh-less jeans she whore wore at one of her shows? you’d think with all that money, she could afford a mirror. and now, you want us to believe that she knows best? let’s run down the list:

hulk-wrecked his marriage by sleeping with one of brooke’s friends. failure.

wifey-returned the favor by dating a 19 year old. score.

nick-in jail for almost killing his best friend after drinking and racing his car. failure.

brooke-the lone wolf. no boyfriend, no job, no clue.

i don’t know. i think the wife has earned the right for her own show. how would you feel about “cougar knows best”. i’d watch it. well, i wouldn’t, but i’m sure most of scottsdale would.

Bollea is currently serving an 8 month term for criminal charges related to the accident: reckless driving resulting in serious physical injury, using a motor vehicle in the commission of a felony, being a driver under 21 operating a motor vehicle with a blood alcohol content of 0.02% or higher and having illegal window tinting. Nick had been seen purchasing 5 cases of beer with his father earlier in the day the accident occurred. Two hours after the crash Nick’s blood alcohol level was tested at 0.055%.

The Hogan’s made headlines recently when tapes were released of a conversation that they had with Nick in prison. In the tapes, Nick’s parents seemed to blame Graziano for being in his condition because God was punishing him for something. Nick suggests it’s because it was because he was, “a negative person.” And Nick’s mother Linda, goes on a rant where she pronounces that her suffering is greater than Graziano’s mother. Later, Hulk is heard talking with his son about developing a reality show called, “The New Nick.” The Hogan Family starred for three season’s in the reality show Hogan Knows Best. The next season of the show is supposed to be all about daughter Brooke, as she pursues her “singing career”, and goes to college. Hulk Hogan is currently the co-host of American Gladiators.

To hear the tape of Graziano’s brother, which sounds like The Jerky Boys imitating Darth Vader, click here. It sounds like he was using some type of voice changing device.

Lets Talk About The Hogan Family, Lets Talk About the Hulk’s Niece, Miss Kristin Hogan, Some people dont know anything about this girl, Shes a Singer, Dance and Model. She’s the Rebel Girl of The Family, now The Hogan Family got another Problem, The Kristin’s New Boyfriend

How Everybodys Knows,  One of the Most Beautifuls Latinas (Because Kristin Hogan its From Peru), thats Inlove, ohhhhhh.. But her Super Uncle knows about this Relation ?

She Put a Blog in her Myspace saying that all the media talk bad about her and about her family, sorry Kristin but this its our work, find the true.

Shes actually working in her new album, because “The Soul Of My Hearth” never released and she got only a one Single “Crazy Love”, just like her cousin Brooke Hogan never released “This Voice”

What Think Hulk Hogan About All This, its her little baby girl inlove

Who Knows ????

If she has her way, Hulk and his son Nick will be spending time together as bunkmates. Click here to read the full story.