While thinking about the story of the birth of the Christ Child, I am filled with excitement. When thinking about the life of Christ I am filled with awe. When thinking about the Crucifixtion of the Redeemer I am filled with sadness. When Thinking about the resurrection I am filled with hope. (Callahan)

This will be our last post of the festive season, so we thought we’d end on something uplifting…

The following film is from fellow ad agency Mother. It features them sending a ’spam’ email promising $10,000 to anyone who replies… the difference is this is for real. We love the email, as well as the fact that someone actually responded.

And then the winning guy goes and does something philanthropic with it all just to complete the truly magical Christmas story… lovely stuff.

And a very Happy Christmas to you all…

Image : http://www.flickr.com

Specifications: I have always admired HP for producing a wide selection of powerful yet affordable laptops. In their effort to produce the best laptops in the market, they are constantly producing new laptop models that come with a variety of new and improved features. The new HP Pavilion DV6-1354US is currently one of HP’s latest 15.6-inch laptop models in the market. It has a 2.2Ghz Core 2 Duo processor, 4GB of RAM and a larger 500GB hard drive. For display, this laptop has a 15.6-inch LED back-lit HD screen (with a 1366 x 768 resolution). Then there is the set of Altec Lansing speakers that runs on SRS Premium sound technology. Other specs include 4 USB ports, a memory card reader, HDMI output, Intel Wifi Link 100GBN, and much more

Design: The HP Pavilion DV6-1354US sports a glossy jet-black casing that is nicely contrasted with hints of silver. For an edge, the laptop is decorated with some circular motifs. This model measure at about 14.9 x 10.15 x 1.5 inches and weighs 6.34 pounds, which is about the size of an average 15-inch laptop. Overall, this laptop sports HP’s signature professional and contemporary look.

Features & Performance: Judging from its specs, the HP Pavilion DV6-1354US will be well suited for either work or play. It even comes with a tiny (yet comprehensive) remote control to let you access a variety of multimedia controls from a distance. For graphics rendering, this model uses the Intel Graphics Media Accelerator 4500MHD graphics card. The 6-cell batteries on this model can last up to 4 hours on one charge, which is quite good for a laptop of this size (and specs). All in all, the HP Pavilion DV6-1354US 15.6-inch laptop is designed for anyone who is looking for functional and affordable full-featured laptop. Currently, this laptop is selling for around $699 per unit, which is a great price for this very competent laptop.

Image : http://www.flickr.com

Specifications: Besides being famous for their high-end/high-quality laptops, Toshiba also has a series of very impressive (and affordable) entry-level desktops. The value that they provide is amazing (sometimes even better than HP laptops) as they often come with a set of powerful specs despite their modest price tag. Best of all, it is a Toshiba laptop. This company has long been famous for building some of the most reliable and durable laptops in the market!

The Toshiba Satellite L505D-S5992 laptop model is one of the latest entry-level models to hit the market. It comes with a 2.2Ghz AMD Turion II Dual Core processor, a 320GB hard disk and 3GB of RAM. The RAM can be upgraded to a maximum of 8GB. This model also has a 1366 x 768 resolution 15.6-inch HD screen and a set of stereo speakers for watching videos and movies on your laptop. Then there is an 8X DVD drive, 2 USB ports, a memory card reader, 802.11b/g wireless connectivity and a 104-key keyboard with a full number pad.

Design: The Toshiba Satellite L505D-S5992 measures at 15.1 x 10.2 x 1.55 inches and weighs 6 pounds. The screen bezel and the external casing have a glossy black/gray finish while the keyboard and the area around it is silver in color. The two stereo speakers are located just above the keyboard below he screen. Overall, the Toshiba Satellite L505D-S5992 has a professional and sleek look.

Features & Performance: The ample Ram and the powerful processor makes the Toshiba Satellite L505D-S5992 a very capable laptop model. Coupled with the new Windows 7 Home premium, the laptop proves to be quite speedy and stable, making it the ideal for either work or play. Currently the 15.6-inch Toshiba Satellite L505D-S5992 laptop retails for just around $479!

‘Being with you,’ he said, ‘represents a dimension out of the ordinary. It is a place of freedom where I can be myself; honest and protected from the everyday life.’

Months ago I let our friendship disappear in my silence because I had no intention to take part in his shades of gray, where everything that lies in between would become destructive and humiliating, and keep me at a distance from my beliefs.

I do not believe in the unanswered, as I am aware of how it feels to be left behind craving answers, and recently ended my muteness, explaining why he should not make a move out of his wonderful life and get it all messed up in the cruel shades of gray.

I guess I am mostly black and white. Even though I see everything that lies in between.

Wicked idea from Mother

via @gavrog

Knowing in part How God the Father and His Son Jesus Christ love us should fill us with an undying gratitude. It should stir within us love and joy overflowing. We should want to live our life in a way that pleases our Redeemer so that we may be redeemed and live with Him in the eternities.

Godly Love – How Christ Loves Us

46 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail — 47 But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him. 48 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen.

Pissed off with this whole process.

Pissed off with everything ive given other survivors, and got fuck all in return. My 3D friends were survivors aswell, and also let me down. I hope by working through this i can steer clear of abuse survivors in the future – attract people who actually have more to offer. What an offensive thing to say???!! Not really, im talking from my experience. Also pre-breakdown, although i functioned very well and was a very good person with high morals  - i dont think i was this all-giving person i previously liked to think i was. I was so limited really. And throughout my life i attracted other people into my life as ‘friends’ , mostly survivors (some aware, some not). Well i got VERY LITTLE off these people, and if that was how i was pre-breakdown then what did i expect???!!!  Im proud to be me, to be facing things head on. Im not proud to be a survivor. I take responsibility for my behaviour (and always have) – i dont see this as a quality that all survivors have. Anyway….that was me being dellusional before, thinking ALL survivors were open, honest and responsible. They arent, in fact in my experience most are the opposite. Most cant be honest, because they cant be honest with themselves about their past – and this creeps into every aspect of who they are. This might seem like an unfair generalization…but its my experience. DO i want anyone to be treading on egg-shells around me???!!! NO WAY!!! DO i want to be doing that around others??? NO THANKS!! Life is for living NOT SURVIVING. Im not proud to have  just survived, if thats all i wake up in the morning too id rather be dead. Its not enough. I want to be on equal terms and wont stop until i am. Truth is this………….. survivors are like black holes from outer space (me included). Nothing is ever enough at times, and the investment of time and effort in another survivor is a pointless investment of time and effort. Its just keeping them afloat anyway, when really they need to sink and face all their demons. I know this from my own behvaiour – my dad cant say enough somedays, and i dont envy his position for a secound. But at least we both know im in transition, and im moving. This is tempoary. In the 3D world i had survivors friends who i gave so much, and as soon as i realised this (during a point in my healing) and didnt play this ‘game’ they dropped me quicker than lightening. Same happened on the survivor forum.

So to sum up – Am i suprised that alot of survivors are isolated??? Nope. Why?? Because its f*cking hard work knowing a survivor. It was hard work knowing me, it is getting easier slowly though. Im sensitive, and i can be quite bitter. Who i their right mind would choose to be around someone like that??? Ive done it, wasted years (and hours) of my time and NEVER WOULD AGAIN. In my experience its an investment with a guaranteed return of 0%.

“Focus on the Family’s Stand for Christmas site lets customers rank retailers. It has Gap and Best Buy listed as the most offensive and Bass Pro Shops and Cabela’s the most Christmas-friendly.” This quote from sphere.com by editor Steve Pendlebury kinda makes me cringe. Here’s why . . . this website is in response to the ‘War on Christmas’. This culture war that I guess is now an American tradition. I for one am all for saying ‘Happy Christmas’ or if you prefer the more American ‘Merry Christmas’ I like happy better personally. Anyway, there are a lot of PC (not personal computer, but they have problem too, because it’s not an Apple) that would rather you say Happy Holidays. This also is perfectly fine in my book, since we have Hanukkah, and boxing day in the mix too, not to mention New Years, and if you want to add Kwanza sure why not. But the site above is an extreme reaction. I might be one of the few Christians who is ok with the ‘War on Christmas’ but for a different reason. I think that we let the pop-culture desecrate the season by prolonging it and commercializing it, this view is nothing new and not the point here. The point really is how do we react in the reality of the ‘War’ is to eliminate the Christ from the holiday. I don’t think that rating stores and businesses is the way to go. We cannot expect the secular world to live the way we do, or celebrate Christmas the way we do or for the reasons we do. So we cannot rate them negatively for saying Happy holidays, since between November 26th and Jan 1st, there are a plethora of Holidays. Ease up, take a chill pill, and enjoy a holiday cookie . . . I mean Christmas cookie.

(Pardon the rant)

For some reason, anger got itself a bad name, it lives in the same neighbourhood we avoid along with fear and sadness and it seems to be the real bad guy in the gang.  The thing is that when we avoid contact with something we tend to create whole myths and legends around it and we stop seeing it clearly for what it is.

When we are unable to express our anger we deny ourselves of a richer social experience.  We tend to think of anger as an internal event, something that happens inside us, but somehow it always involves the environment; like many other emotions, it is in relation to something outside us.

When anger is frowned upon, as in many societies, it is being driven underground, but as it is so dynamic, it finds its way out in different ways; like graffiti appearing overnight in an attempt to communicate social and political messages.

Most societies try in different ways to stifle angry behaviour and even the slightest expression of it is met with disapproval.  When stifle angry expression, we way get ‘social order’ but we also diminish spontaneity and the ability to express ourselves fully and honestly, leaving us with dull experiences of a much richer and complex environment.

And in this process, we also create a class system that excludes who can be angry, leaving the experience to very few of us.  Just think about how ‘unladylike’ it is for women to get angry and how we label and avoid our youth.  I know there are exceptions, but the risk some women and teenagers take for expressing their anger can often make them targets of violence and isolation, to give an example.

So what is it about anger that feels so risky? If it is relational, then it means that we are trying to get something that we need or want from other people or our environment.  That something can ironically include distancing ourselves from the environment when we feel hurt, in any case we relate to something outside us.

When we get angry – I prefer to see it as an action rather than a thing because it is something that we do – it is normally in response to situations in which we feel afraid, loss of control or power, sadness, shame and despair in various social settings.

Being angry is a source of energy, a force that propels us to do something about a frustrating environment.  There is much injustice in the world and we cannot keep a neutral stance towards injustice, some things could be fought for.

We can express our anger by complaining, whingeing, being sarcastic, gossiping and bitching about and although it might feel satisfying for a short while, it rarely allows for a rich and full experience that promotes growth.

We can also be violent, attack and destroy but that too, leaves a very short-lived satisfaction and definitely doesn’t promote growth, unless it is used to save lives.

And we can express our needs, when possible and without risking our lives, by saying how we feel, what we need and what is our experience firmly, without patronising.  We can separate the person from the action and talk about what a person did rather than what the person is.  ‘I am angry about what you did just now or yesterday or whenever and that doesn’t affect how I feel about you’.

This way of communication expresses both respect for ourselves and others and offers richer experiences and relationships.  Expressing our needs can feel risky in itself, even without anger, but, it’s worth practising, slowly and safely first, we might be able to paint our graffiti in brilliant colours and in broad daylight.

In all instance we must make space for feeling angry and acknowledge when we do so.

Gilead

I’ve posted about Saying No and I’ve posted about how talking helps me out of Sub Drop, but communication is important in other ways, too. Clear, honest communication.

It starts with being clear and honest with myself. That may sound like the easy part, but really, it can often be the most challenging.  I lie to myself all the time, how about you?  I can handle that. I won’t get jealous over that. I just want everyone to be happy. I don’t know what I want. I don’t really want anything. I’m okay. Things are fine. It is hard to get past the knee-jerk reaction of everything is fine. It takes effort to look deeper, to examine my wants, needs and desires. It takes work to admit to myself that things are not the way I want. I am a writer, and sometimes, I find, that the only way to know what I’m really thinking, is to put pen to paper and start writing. And keep writing until it’s all there. Every last bit of anger, hurt, joy, love, need, desire, complaint and exultation.

Then comes the next step. Clear and honest communication with my partner/friend/lover/Dom/sub/family/whoever. Once I know what’s true for me, I have to share it with them. I have to tell them, via text, chat, email or Out Loud, what is going on in my head, heart and life. I also have to accept that they may not understand, and that they have just as many things going on in their hearts, heads and lives. I have to strive to be as clear as I can be, but also to listen openly to what they are saying back to me. Communication goes both ways.

An example.  Scene negotiation. If I am asked what I want, and I say I don’t know, that’s not helpful. If he suggests something I don’t want, and I don’t tell him so, then the scene will go bad for us both. If the negotiation goes well, but the scene starts to go badly, I have to be able to clearly and honestly communicate that, or the scene will just get worse. If a scene went badly, clear and honest communication afterward can keep it from happening again.

Another example. Poly. I often tell people who ask, that Poly is all about clear and honest communication. Communicating what the boundaries are. Communication can reduce or resolve jealousy. Communication can keep partners from drifting apart. Communication keeps people safer when going to meet someone new.

What are ways you use to achieve clear and honest communication?

sometimes it’s funny to me how brutally honest my daughter is.  she is only three months shy of turning six and the things that come out of her mouth make her sound like she is 16 at times.  and the actual things she talks about are astonishing.  the other day it was a talk about how babies are born, i.e. how do babies come out of you?  and i have no clue why she would have that on her mind.  she is always asking questions.  which i guess is normal at her age, but i didn’t experience that with my older son, so it’s a new thing.  she has such a captivating personality, loveable yet steadfast and stern in her ways.  it’s going to be a fascinating ride watching seeing her grow up and seeing what she grows up into…