The dad dilemma: take on the hoodies or walk away?

When a gang of surly teens took over the local park, they were a threat to Mark Piggott’s children — and his male pride

On sunny afternoons, having collected the kids from school, I am sometimes coerced into making a minor detour through a nondescript North London park. The equipment is meagre and battered; there are so many stone steps and steep drops that the place resembles a game of Tomb Raider and, as nothing overlooks the playground, it is both a doggy convenience and a youth hangout.

Today, there are eight or more teenagers, mostly in hoodies, being noisy on the swings. Two women from a local action group are bravely asking the youths how the park could be improved. Then, politely, I ask one of these interviewees to move so that my five-year-old daughter can use a swing. He ignores me, so I walk up and ask again. He stands there for a moment, staring into my eyes with tedious insolence, before slowly moving back a step.

Most of the gang leave but this youth and his mate linger. The interviewers, oblivious to the rising tension, ask what improvements I would like to see as a father. Ignoring the leering elephant in the room (the park would be improved immensely if the yobs would go elsewhere), and louder than necessary (to show how down with the “yoot” I am), I express a wish that there were more facilities for older kids, so they didn’t have to hang around the playground.

As usual, my two-year-old son heads unerringly towards a steep drop and I charge after him. Suddenly, my daughter starts crying loudly. She points at the two youths, dangling inanely on the swings: “Those boys said something horrible to me!” I look at the two hoodies. They glare back. I try to reassure my daughter that she must be mistaken but she is insistent. As the youths stare at me with real malevolence, I ponder what to do, heart racing.

I have dreaded something like this since I became a dad. As a young man I got into fights but since having children I have tried to mellow, to demonstrate to my kids that violence is not the answer (and because I’m a 5ft 7in 42-year-old who never was particularly good at the whole scrapping malarkey). On the other hand, what message am I sending to my children by being pushed around? How can I tell my son to stand up for himself if I won’t stand up for him against bullies?

Life as a modern dad is full of these dilemmas. Working from home, I get to spend time with the children — and the dishwasher. As the son of a militant feminist, I was brought up thinking that this was A Good Thing. Yet recently I read a letter in The Times from a woman whose husband had lost his job; she found having him moping around the house all day very unsexy. Is there some deep part of my psyche that feels somehow emasculated?

Statistically, men are far more likely to inflict violence — and to be on the receiving end of it. Like most men, I’m probably more afraid of being thought a wimp than being hurt. I find the thought of these boys sniggering “That chicken — won’t even stand up for his own kids” as I walk away worse than being beaten or stabbed. I approach the two youths, childishly gratified to see the first element of doubt in their eyes.

“Did you just say something to my daughter?” I ask them. There’s a silence that seems to last aeons. I sense them sizing me up, seemingly making what might be a life-changing decision for us all. As I have recently written a report on the prevalence of knife crime in the capital, and several high-profile murders have taken place near by recently, I try to identify suspicious bumps in their clothing.

Finally one shrugs: “No.” To my dismay, my daughter insists that he’s lying, so I repeat the question. Both youths are still eyeing me up but I refuse to back down until they give me that elusive thing I realise I need, pathetically, as much as they do: respect. The boy again denies saying anything, but less emphatically this time. I say something like, “You really better not have done . . .” then trail off, not wanting to make threats I that might not honour.

To my relief, my son charges off. Grabbing my daughter, I run after him. When I look back the youths are still glaring from the swings. As we walk home, the realisation of what I’ve just done sets in. What if they had admitted that they had said something to my daughter? What if they had had knives? Instead of rising above the situation, I have just risked a violent scene in front of my young children.

When I contact Islington Council to complain about a lack of wardens, I am told that the park is not in Islington. I have to e-mail a photograph of the park sign, which has the council’s name on, to prove that it is. In response, they are quick to emphasise the wide array of local resources for young people.

Yet despite these resources, it seems that many teenagers would rather hang around harassing people, many of whom will probably shrug, walk away and think nothing more about it. By confronting the youths, not only have I risked physical violence but, if anything had happened, my kids would have been witnesses and possibly placed in danger themselves. So what is the right thing to do?

The Mayor of London recently advised Londoners — including his own four children — to walk away from trouble rather than get involved. But what would Boris Johnson do if someone picked on his children? I ask the Metropolitan Police Service (MPS) what I should have done. The response is predictably anodyne: “The MPS recognises the concern residents have regarding antisocial behaviour. We work closely with other agencies to tackle the problem of youth crime. If anyone witnesses possible offences by youths, we advise them to contact police.”

Here lies my difficulty: were the youths committing an offence or simply being offensive? As I didn’t hear what they supposedly said maybe I should have backed off. But that’s what people do all the time: walk away, surrender our open spaces. The more I think about my actions, the more convinced I am that I did the right thing.

Just to make sure, I consult the clinical psychologist Linda Blair, whose book The Happy Child is published next month. “By approaching those youths you were placing your needs before those of your children,” she says. “By walking away you would have been protecting them and also providing a role model for the future.

“In this sort of situation you need to breathe in, hold it, then let the air out of your mouth. Ask yourself: is my child in immediate danger? If the answer is no, walk away. If they are in danger, you will do the right thing every time to protect your DNA, to preserve your own genetic material.”

On speaking to other parents, the general consensus seems to be that it is safer to turn the other cheek. One mum-to-be I spoke to recalled an experience when she was a child: “Some older boys made fun of me and my friend when we were with my mum. I was about 7. My mum shouted at them and they gave a bit of back chat and walked off. The next time I saw those boys, though, they made fun of me and my mum. I felt so hurt and embarrassed for her. I wished she hadn’t said anything to them in the first place. It has always really stuck in my mind. I think ignoring them is best as they are sad little individuals just trying to amuse their mates.”

Blair also dismisses my crisis of masculinity as nonsense. As she points out, women are just as capable of reacting when their children are threatened. Yet deep down, some immature part of me is glad that I did something to show those youths they can’t push me around.Having said all that, I haven’t returned to the park since.

Mark Piggott’s novel Fire Horses, published by Legend Press, is out now

And here is my response….dont think he liked it much… he certainly didn’t reply!

Image : http://www.flickr.com

Skate Hoodies became popular in the 1990s and were driven primarily by skateboarders. Skateboarding is a sport that was really a high point in popularity during this time and skateboarding competitions, which were performed stunts were all the rage. Even today, there are several skate parks, where ramps and jumps for skateboarders practice their skills. They often wear hoodies skate as a way to represent the sport of their choice, and the ability to protect themselves from the cool airwhile they're skateboarding. You can also protect them before a spill.

Today you can see, many people wear hoodies skate, which usually feature elaborate designs. This is a fashion statement, at the head of younger people who wear hoodies as often as they offer comfort and style has placed the protection and are. They are a very casual type of clothing and out of fleece material, either up or zips slip over his head. Think of a hooded sweatshirtand you have a concept of a hoodie.

The difference between skate hoodies and the average hoodie is the brand of the garment as well as the design. Skate hoodies often have a more elaborate design than hoodies that are either plain or are inscribed with a school name or even sports team. There are many varieties of hoodies being sold on the market today and they are the preferred over garment for both young men and women everywhere, teenagers in particular.

The best aspect of skate hoodies is that they allow the skateboarder or skater in line to protect against the elements and spills while still be able to practice their craft. These garments are loose fitting and comfortable and not as a limitation, as a coat. And you can skate hoodies buy almost anywhere that either sold or casual sports clothes.

Skateboarding and inline skating is more a cultural than anything else. It includes the grunge look of the 1990s, but has grown up abit since its founding. Today, there are still many people who do not even skate skate wear hoodies and make a fashion statement. You need not be in a skateboard competition, skate wear hoodies as this style has become popular with many people, especially the younger generation.

relocating.blogs.thaihealth.net

Just in time for Christmas, a couple of links for Mafia Wars gifts and apparel.  Perfect unique ideas for yourself or a loved one.

Check back often as more will be added daily.

“Join My Mafia” gifts and apparel.

“You were injured in the brawl, heal yourself at the hospital” gifts, stickers and apparel.

We have top quality hooded sweatshirts, pullovers, fleece hoodies, zipper sweatshirts, Hanes and Outer Bank sweats for men, women + youth.

http://www.hoodiedepot.com

Just a reminder that new winter gear is here and available for purchase! Check out my Etsy shop for coats, hoodies, and scarves…OH MY!

The winter collection features fun, yet functional pieces that will keep you warm and fashionable on the chilliest of days. You’ll love snuggling up in these new pieces!

If you haven’t started your holiday shopping yet…don’t wait ’till the last minute! (Because handmade takes time! ) There are lots of customizable gift options for your family, friends, and YOU this season!

Happy Shopping!

xoxo
SBK

Modern funky threads with an urban twist! Our product lines include Jeans, Trousers, T-shirts, Shirts, Jackets, Sweats, Hoodies, Jumpers, Long Sleeve Tops, Shoes and Accessories

www.blueinkco.com.uk

Northampton Area Police News:

“A Musante Drive resident reported that a wreath that hung on her outdoor storage unit was stolen at 3:30 p.m. Saturday, police said. The value of the decorated wreath is $50 and there are no suspects, police said.”

A $50 dollar wreath hung on a storage unit.
A $50 dollar wreath.  Hung on a storage unit.

At least a life lessons like this is still cheaper than a college course. We’re still at a complete loss as to why they would spend $50 on a wreath in the first place. It’s likely they must also heat their home with greenbacks, and use Benjamin brand toilet paper.

~The Management.

Below the cut: I Am A Bike Thief, The Fashion Police…

Amherst Police Reports

Police took a reports of a break-in to a Pufton Village home Monday at 6:06 a.m. in which a man wearing a black hoodie was seen exiting the residence with a 42-inch flat-screen television. The man placed the set on a bicycle and fled to the scene. Police are investigating.

Representatives for the band Freezepop could not be reached to answer questions pertaining to this incident.

Tuesday, Nov. 17

SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY

• 4:08 p.m. -  A jogger was reported on North Pleasant Street near Fearing Street wearing no pants or shorts. Police located the man and determined his running shorts were just very short.

Wait, since when did hipsters jog?

Till next week,

~The Management.

Rollergirl tee by syancey
See more Roller derby T-Shirts

It seems like today has had a theme of Rollergirl graphic hoodies. Not that you hear me complaining. I did post them after all, they must be really popular since once I started looking around for them I found a bunch of them. If you find anymore cool rollergirl graphic hoodies let me and I will add them.

Rollergirl blocker Hoodie by syancey
Browse other Roller derby T-Shirts

I did a little more digging and I found another cool Rollergirl graphic hoodie from the same designer. I am not sure what the rules were for this sport but it seems that they needed blockers. This graphic hoodie is also pretty hot.

Iron Man Retro 5 by marvelclassics
Browse more 4 color T-Shirts

And this is the last Iron Man hoodie I think I will post for a while. It is a cool graphic hoodie with the old cover graphic that they used to have on all of their comics, and I really think it makes a great design for a hoodie. I hope you’re enjoying these as much as I am sharing them.

So just wanted to let everyone know that Sideways has Hoodies, but no Snuggies. Our hoodies, from brands like Element, Volcom, WeSC, Nixon, and Nomis also allow you to work the remote, talk on the phone, enjoy a snack with ease. But unlike Snuggies, which make you look like a crazy person, hooded sweatshirts look great! Plus you can wear hoodies when walking, snowboarding, skateboarding, partying, pretty much anything. So yeah. No Snuggies here.

Here are some acceptable alternatives.

Du beau hoodie chez CTRL clothing

Spider-Man Retro 5 by marvelclassics
Make custom t-shirts at zazzle.com

Swing in with Spiderman and this cool graphic hoodie! I really that this graphic hoodie does a great job capturing Spideys character and if I had space for more hoodies I would definitely think of filling it with this graphic hoodie. Just out of curiosity what types of hoodies do you like and collect?

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I recently walked into a Christian coffee house and had to LOL. Why? Because this is what I observed: About 25 twenty-somethings, on break from their duties at the Christian camp where this coffeehouse was located, were jammed onto couches and sprawled around tables, all huddled shoulder-to-shoulder in their ripped jeans and hoodies. But besides the painfully hip music playing softly in the background and the occasional hiss of the espresso cart’s steamer, the room was eerily silent. You see, every single one of these Gen-Yers had a laptop open and were logged onto Facebook – chatting with friends back home, sending recent photos to family far away, even instant messaging each other in the same room. I ordered a latte, sat down in one corner, and thought to myself, “Christian community is forever different because of Facebook.”

Everything Has Changed, But Not Really

No matter what your take on the subject you have to admit, Facebook has changed everything. There are more than five million people jumping on the social networking giant every week, from middle-schoolers to great-grandparents. With well over 300 million people and counting, it is quickly becoming what baby-faced Facebook CEO, Mark Zuckerberg, calls, “The place where everyone will live their digital lives.”
As more and more of us live our digital lives on and around Facebook, how does that shift our understanding of community? And how do we respond as the church; that is, as the literal “hands and feet” of the body of Christ in a disembodied environment?
In order to answer those questions, it is of first importance that we begin to “see” things differently than perhaps we are used to. More specifically, we need a new way of “seeing” community as our new, hyperconnected world sees it so that we can engage with what God is already up to in cyberspace.
First, we must understand that “community” exists on a continuum. Often when I hear Christians describe community, I hear them describe a best friend, someone with whom they share an intimacy that involves trust based on a history of shared experiences and passions. It’s a taste of that “one-ness” that exists within the community of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and which we are included in as followers of Jesus. While that is what we are ultimately made for, we might think of that experience of community as a “ten” on our continuum. But there are many other forms of community. For example, when I’m in line at the grocery store I am participating in community. I am a tired, over-scheduled, anxious person just like the rest of my neighbors in line. This experience of community may represent a “one” on our continuum, but it is still community. And, of course, there is everything in between – co-workers, siblings, the people in the back of your church that leave early, even your many connections on Facebook fall along that community continuum.
Second, we must understand that, for most people (especially younger people) there is no longer a distinction between “real” and “online” community. It’s all part of the same experience. Whether my friends are in cyberspace or around my dinner table, they are my community. This is an important concept to grasp in order to enter more fully into the experience of community as a hyperconnected world understands it.

Listening For The Laughter

As I sat in the corner of that coffeehouse marveling at the scene in front of me, I began to notice giggles and groans and shouts across the room. It turned out my laptop-bearing, hoodie-wearing neighbors were fully engaged in community, seamlessly moving in between virtual and real-world expressions. Once again, I had to LOL.
God is already at work in the grocery line, at the back of your church, and on Facebook, and we are invited to join him in loving the neighbor right in front of us as we’ve always been called to. And if we are willing to look and listen with him, we will discover and be able to enter into the giggles and groans and shouts from across the room even as our heads are buried in our laptops.

(“hands and feet” photo by Nicki Pardo)

Thing Retro by marvelclassics
See other 4 color T-Shirts

Do any of you remember those little pictures that Marvel used to have in the corners with their logo. Somebody had to draw them all, this graphic hoodie is in honor of them. Pretty cool idea for a graphic hoodie, it is sort of like a stamp collection. They have released several of these and I plan to make a collection of this special type of graphic hoodie. Look for more in the future!

I like fun shirts. No, they aren’t appropriate for all occasions, but they are great for run around wear. My husband saw me on the Snorg Tees website, and he told me he wanted a hoodie. *blah* He totally took my tee. He chose the “BRB Hoodie”

SnorgTees got its start back in May 2004 when our group of friends decided that we weren’t meant for a real job. We got our options narrowed down to international jewel thieves or internet t-shirt tycoons. Since it was the middle of the summer, we weren’t able to find enough ski masks, which left t-shirts as our only option. Fast forward a few years and we’ve grown to the point where people mistake us for an actual business. We’ve even shipped a shirt to NASA. That means space. So technically we’re a universal company. But we are still just a group of friends who run Snorg because we enjoy it.

Hubby has worn this hoodie several times, we have washed, and dried it more than 6 times. We haven’t taken any special steps when laundering this hoodie. The tees, and hoodies from Snorg Tees are cut for a more fitted wear than regular shirts. They are 100% cotton so you can expect a bit of shrinkage.  We did order a size larger than usual, because the site reminds you when selecting your size to consider one size larger. I don’t find that often, and it’s great to have information like that handy, I have ordered things too small because it wasn’t advertised or made known that the sizes run small.

The peeps over at Snorg Tees are offering one NetWorkingWitches reader, their choice of a Snorg Tee!

WIN IT

MANDATORY Entry – Visit Snorg Tees, and tell us at least one other shirt you would like to have if you win.

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This giveaway will end on 12/07/09 at 11:59 PM CST.

I was sent a Snorg Tee sample for review, I was not paid any monetary compensation for this review. This post is my opinion and should be taken as just that. Having received samples has no impact on my personal use, experience, or like for any product.

Marvel Comics Retro 8 by marvelclassics
Browse 4 color T-Shirts

Man, I can remember the game that came out for NES when I was a kid, it had this logo on it. That was amazing stuff back then, I don’t remember much about the game though. It wouldn’t hold a candle up to the new one base off of the movie, but it doesn’t need to. Just seeing this logo makes me want this vintage hoodie, and that is what this blog is all about after all. Hoodies!

Nightcrawler Retro 2 by marvelclassics
Make a custom shirt at zazzle.com

And while we are on the subject of Nightcrawler I might as well post the graphic hoodie that goes along with the last one I posted. I think this is an alright graphic hoodie, but the thing that bothers me about it is that he was clearly crouching. He wasn’t using his powers and they just stuck a “Bamf” behind him. Once of the weaker Marvel Classic hoodies, but still a cool graphic hoodie when you compare it to some of them I have seen.

Marvel Comics Retro 7 by marvelclassics
Buy t-shirts at zazzle

Well we have almost the whole team together, and now we can show our love for the Fantastic Four all at once, my closet is getting too full for more hoodies, but I think there is space for one more vintage hoodie! I just wish the movies would have been slightly better than they were.

Marvel Comics Retro 6 by marvelclassics
Browse 4 color T-Shirts

Just seeing this hoodie reminds me of a video I once saw on Youtube with scenes from the old Captain America movies cut together with the theme song from Team America, funny stuff. If you’re a Captain America fan and want people to know Marvel has given you the perfect opportunity to show it with this vintage hoodie.