Any inquiries into why I have not won every prestigious poetry and songwriting award ever can be left in the comments.

Ahem.

–

You thought your face was perfect
It was shot with lies
All of your beauty came from my drive
to make you feel good
to make you feel pretty
So many lies (I never meant ‘em)
So many lies (I never meant ‘em)
You’re fighting for this
You’re in it too far to save
So fight till the death, and take it to your grave
Because I am (I am)
Because I am (I…I…I am)
(Gone)

All of those lies, meant to bring you down
To take off your crown
‘Cuz baby, there’s a new face in town
And its better than yours
Ever could be (Ever could be, always better)
Fights and phone calls full of those tall tales you say
All that bullshit (All those lies)
So sit—(So sit)
this one out its not your turn anymore ( its over, so over)

(Chorus x 2)

If you want me now, you can’t have me now
Even if you tried (and tried so hard)
your spoiled rotten manner just makes this so much sadder
you think its all for you
here’s your clue
move one move to to find that clue wrapped tight in my words (move one move to)
the world’s not yours (so go away)
do without (give up) move on (grow up) I am gone

Arcade & Game Room

Can you escape? Play Dungeon Escape! now!!

The Web of Strange

Would you like your monitor cleaned?

Make your own fiendish, vile, or sweet little monster!

Movie & Video Room

10 of the most horrible worst deaths on film! Behold the horror!

Music Room

It was recently brought to my attention that my blog could use more cowbell so here you go!

Blue Oyster Cult – Don’t Fear the Reaper 

Rolling Stones – Honky Tonk Women

War – Low Rider

The Art Room

The ultimate Star Wars VS Star Trek photo!

Big pimpin!

Bigger pimpin!!

See you again soon with more wonderfully odd things!

Do you ever get that false hope that maybe…just maybe she will call and tell me all I want to hear? Like imagine getting the call fearing the worse and instead its a call saying… I missed you, I love you, I want you, I will be there for you until the end whether that be 2 years or 10 years…Imagine that call rather than the more likely call…Hi, its over and I dont want to be friends or cant be friends with you either, good luck, nice knowing ya….Im not looking forward to this call.

I’ve never given up on anything I want in my life ever! In 28 years of being around, I’ve already beaten Cancer 4 times never gave up then, now Im trying to beat it for the 5th time and Im not about to give up yet. Ive been told I was too much of a party animal to become a Manager and professional manager at that. but I never gave up and Now Im managing my 3rd-4th nightclub and feel confident enough about even opening up my own nightclub one day. I did all that cause I never gave up and I have alot more to accomplish so I wont be giving up anytime soon.

Im not giving up hope of a miracle, Im not giving up my dream to one day own my nightclub. Im not giving up on fulfilling what ever challange is placed in front of me and further more even though Ive had a few friends tell me to….I WILL NOT GIVE UP HOPE ON HAPPINESS & LOVE TO BE SHARED ONE DAY BETWEEN MYSELF AND….her.

Anyway wish me luck…I think Im gonna need it, and speak to you soon

Peace

Reiki and the Healing Buddha – Maureen J. Kelly
Full Circle, 2001, 206pp, 8176210323.

It’s rare to find a book that as soon as I see it I want it. It’s even rarer to find a book that as soon as I see it and realize how horrible it will be I want it, but I’m a masochist and this book didn’t disappoint in this respect. The basic premise of this fairy tale book is that Reiki is actually an ancient Buddhist form of healing, and if you connect all the pieces you can realize that. The author leads us through her exploration of different traits of the Healing Buddha and his practice, and Reiki, and how they link in her mind.

So where to start with this book? First let’s tackle the title. “Reiki and the Healing Buddha,” the healing Buddha refers to Sangay Menla, or Bhaishajya Guru, also known as the Medicine Buddha. The cover of the text has a picture of Chenrezig on it though, a completely different figure. Why? Frankly I think it suits how much the author knows about both Buddhism and Reiki, but let’s build that case.

The author thanks Mikao Usui (founder of Reiki) for “rediscovering Reiki, for bringing it out of the Buddhist monastery” (iii) which would imply Reiki wasn’t created by Usui-sensei, and that Buddhists were hiding it all this time. What a fun fantasy. Strange that there are no Buddhist texts or teachings that match the idea of Reiki as energy healing. Also it makes perfect sense for monks, being the horrible people that they are, to keep the secrets of health to themselves, let everyone else suffer is the motto of the Buddhist monks, right?

“Because Reiki comes from Buddhism…”(11) at this point in the book she’s made no case that Reiki has anything to do with Buddhism, you’re just supposed to trust her, but the way she creates evidence would be frightening if it weren’t hilarious. Some may just be translations and traditions, like her chart of the Buddhas and their colours and directions being wrong (14), but others is just made up. “The Reiki Master symbol can be found within the first two vows made by the Healing Buddha” (23) which she later explains that when the Medicine Buddha says “I have been born into the world” (26) it really means being initiated with the “Reiki Master symbol” (27), because that’s not a stretch, and being born is too obvious. She constantly tries to link ideas, but can never support, and rarely explains. For instance she takes four of the eight symbols in the ashtamangala, decides they are the real important ones, and that they secretly represent the four Reiki symbols (50). She very briefly explains it later, but it is literally less than one sentence for each connection (77). She explains the idea of paying for Reiki (which the insistence on it purely a Western thing) comes from the Healing Buddha sutra that says people won’t understand the Medicine Buddha’s teaching unless they pay for it (193). Admittedly it’s been a while since I read that, but I don’t remember that, and it seems not to be the right attitude. I guess it’s let everyone else suffer, unless they can afford my hourly rate?

Her knowledge of Buddhism is flawed, she makes reference to the Earth Goddess in Buddhism (who is the same as Sekhmet, Isis, Mary, Hera, and so on (31)), and that Chenrezig became Tara because there wasn’t a female Bodhisattva (32) which if you know the stories of Tara’s first vow is more insulting to women than anything. Since she believes Reiki is Buddhist she recommends the readers just go out and get Buddhist initiations (34/35) because it’s not like it’s a religion and you should take it seriously, and it’s not like these initiations have vows you have to obey for the rest of your life and should be thought out and prepared for. Her sources and translations are just as odd as everything else, according to her in the sutra of the Healing Buddha untimely death is caused by “illness treated by hoodoo.” (38) It’s a little known fact that the ancient Buddhists of India hated hoodoo, totally true.

Her Reiki understanding is just as bad, but it’s typical for what you’d see from a practitioner of a Takata-lineage of Reiki. What surprises me is she’s somewhat aware of the history and process, but ignores it. She mentions how there are twelve hand positions, but some teach twenty-seven or more, and they may not be part of the original system of Reiki. (They weren’t, they were added in by Hayashi because some students were too “dull” to sense where Reiki needed to be) Despite this, she still explains that these twelve are really and truly representations of the Twelve Yaksha generals (51) despite the fact that there weren’t in the original system or created by Usui-sensei (sorry, “rediscovered”). (Sidenote: “Rediscovered” irks me throughout the book, nowhere does she make a case for Reiki being a pre-existent tradition, so it cannot be rediscovered. It can be Buddhist inspired (and it was to a degree, but not how she thinks) but that doesn’t make it a “rediscovery” any more than my version of my mom’s vanilla cake is a “rediscovery” of what cake is.) She mentions there is no proof that Usui-sensai studied at Chicago University, or headed a Christian school in Japan (147) (he did neither) but then goes on to explain that he studied at Chicago University and headed a Christian school in Japan (149) because she likes that story, creatively ignoring of facts, even after she discredits them. She also claims that once you reach the “third degree” you have to pick a higher being “similar to or the same as Angels” (129) to work with, and idea so removed and alien from Reiki it boggles me, but hey it supports her idea to connect it to Buddhas and Bodhisattvas so why not?

She has gems of logic like “The Power symbol is the only Reiki symbol which does not come from a written language which may mean that it is older than most written languages” (84) which is another hilarious jump in logic. It’s not a word, so obviously it’s pre-text, that’s right, Reiki now goes back to before writing existed. Or that the “Mental/Emotional symbol” is actually Long A from the Gupta Alphabet (96), but if you know your symbols, go look at the alphabet, see if you agree. She also spends a surprising amount of time analyzing clockwise and counter-clockwise symbols and how horrible clockwise is to our bodies (86) unfortunately for her the original symbol she’s talking about was clockwise, somewhere in Takata’s lineage it got reversed. Or that because Manjushri’s text was translated into Chinese (from Pali/Sanskrit) in the third century, it makes sense that he was linked to the Japanese tradition at the time (114), if you understand that, please let me know.

It’s not just Buddhism and Reiki she gets wrong, but reality. “It is my belief that the Rei of Reiki is one of the rays of the light spectrum which has yet to be discovered by scientists.” (6) It’s energy sure, but she lists the entire Electromagnetic Spectrum, and apparently Reiki is hiding beyond the edges somewhere, making it weaker that AM radio, or more powerful Cosmic Rays. Scientizing the occult is one thing, but bad scientizing is horrid. It’s worse, for “scientists have found that memories of things learned by a parent can be passed on to a child through the memories contained in genes.” (104) Which is another fun fantasy. “In quantum physics it is said that quantum waves can go both forward and backward in time” (122) because her science wasn’t bad enough yet. She calls the Mesopotamian religion one of “Light/Life” (13) which means she’s never read anything about it.

All of this bad research and horrible synthesis is made worse by the self-description of “being a very practical, feet on the ground, type of person” (129) who just assumes everything is a sign of ancient Reiki. What gets me is I could have agreed with some parts of her synthesis if she talked about it in terms of personal experience, of unsubstantiated personal gnosis, or personal symbolism. By trying way way too hard to pretend to be well researched and historical, whatever value she put forth in this book was ruined. While I picked this book up not expecting anything good, it was horrible to a degree I didn’t expect, and even for that perverse pleasure I don’t recommend this text be bought by anyone.

If I were to sum up her logic and argument in a simple image it would be this:

Now, the major thing that happened, I got rejected, by a university in which I was strongly hoping I would get accepted. On its own a rejection sucks! Big time! No one wants to get rejected by anything or anyone! I had applied to graduate school and the reason given by them for the rejection is that “it was very competitive this year”. My foot competitive! I am pretty sure it was as it is every year. The reason I was even hoping to get selected is that I gave an interview and was assured I gave a very nice one by the board, and by my dad who eaves-dropped as much as he could while my interview was on, by my friends to whom I gave a detailed word by word description of it and by a senior who said,”well an interview is more or less a done deal, you don’t need to worry”. Yeah! Sure! Done deal! Not just that, post interview the treacherous board kept me hanging for 2 months and 5 days before finally ending my misery and all this while telling me they are “keeping me in mind” and “you are being considered” blah blah. In my quite so un-adventurous life, these last two months had been two of the most tormenting ones in my life! All I kept saying was I need my reply, over and over again, to all my friends whom I spoke to! I even started making stupid vows to myself like I won’t get a haircut till I get my reply or I won’t buy any new clothes till I get my reply! I even started believing in hilarious superstitions like if a girl’s left eye twitches it means good news is about to come! I mean, COME ON MYSELF!! I am an effing student of science!!
So yesterday, when I finally got my REPLY with a reject, the first feeling was numbness. The next feeling was anger. The next feeling was lost. I had lost my reason suddenly. I am a person who makes short term goals and the most recent one just disappeared into nothing. The next feeling which finally dawned upon me somewhere around 3 am in the morning ( even though it was a godly hour, this does not mean my judgement was anyway near cloudy , I was as alert as a hawk) was that of relief. Then my self assessment and figuring out started. Why exactly did I want it so bad? Was it because most of my peers were cracking exams and getting into universities while I was sitting here getting no-where? Was it because I was excited by the idea of going to some new land, new culture and new people without doing much or putting much effort into it? Or did I really want to do a Phd from this particular university? I knew the answer myself, before even I finished asking all the questions to myself. It was definitely the first one. Therefore, the relief. If reasons like these were driving me to do something, the rejection was God’s way of clutching my tshirt and pulling me back from taking the fall. Of course it would have been a fall!

The best thing that happened to me was freedom. Now I get to choose! I feel free. I get to decide what I really want to do. I get to be clueless again. I am not saying it’s a wonderful feeling being so, but I plan to have fun with it for a while because sooner or later I am going to start sticking to one thing and choose it for life. Then this filly folly dilly dally clueless me will be lost in the world of certainty and surety. Till then, let me just jump around, blow and fly some balloons in the air, make some paper boats ( literally, I really need to learn how to do that!) and sail them in streams till I buy my backpack and decide to put all these in some corner of it and decide to stand tall(again literally not possible) ,take over some new world and show everyone, I am here to stay!

In a far away land called new York city,
Lived a girl named Sarah,

OKAY GOTTA STOP DOING THAT!

I always had a dream to write a princesses book, but not perfect like the Disney princesses,
But prefect cause of their flaws.

I have tons of flaws which I’ll tell you later on, on another update.
But I’m just gonna tell you this for now.
Try to guess things about me till my next update

Keep Smiling

The dog days are over for Snoop Lion, the artist formally known as legendary west coast rapper Snoop Dogg.  After becoming a rastafari during a religious and cultural pilgrimage to Jamaica, he released his first reggae album: Reincarnated.  While the album is a new direction for Snoop, the artist needs salvation if there is any hope that he will ever return to making enjoyable albums.

While Snoop Lion claims he was spiritually drawn to Rastafarianism, The Rastafari Millennium Council and Bunny Wailer (sole surviving member of The Wailers) believe that he is exploiting their religion by capitalizing on stereotypes.  The rapper-turned-rastafari also claims to be a reincarnation of Bob Marley, a tall order that Snoop drastically fails to deliver on.  When listening to the album, one can’t help but think Snoop became a Lion as a publicity stunt or because of a midlife crisis.

Reincarnation skims the surface when presenting genuine reggae.  While he opens the album with an explanation for his conversion in “Rebel Way,” his work also address social issues such as gun violence (“No Guns Allowed” featuring Drake and Cori B), gangs (“Tired of Running”), and environmental sustainability (“Smoke The Weed”).

Snoop even tries to pull a Marley by putting two rival reggae artists, Mavado and Popcann, on the same track.  “Lighters Up” failed to unify the artists as he couldn’t even get them to acknowledge each other’s presence on the song, unlike Marley, who would have been able to squash the beef with a single strand of hair from his long locks.  After presenting a plethora of social issues and Rastafari ideas, he ends the album with several heartbreak songs that feature unnecessarily Jamaican accented vocals by Rita Ora and Miley Cyrus.

Snoop’s weak vocals, complaints over social issues, and annotated presentation of reggae jargon made Reincarnation hard to sit through.  Every social issue was merely addressed and didn’t include any optimism or solution.  Even with up to 16 songwriters contributing to one song, nobody captured how Reggae isn’t simply about complaining.  True reggae music either offers an opportunity to look at a positive future with optimistic changes or takes a snapshot of how things can be improved presently.

The only reason this album is getting a rating is because of production by Major Lazer and the guest appearances of vocalists such as Angela Hunte as  that enhance Snoop Lion’s vocals, meaning that Snoop’s weaker voice was purposely lower in volume than the guest feature singing.  While Major Lazer didn’t create authentic reggae sounding beats, this is an excusable action as Reincarnated targets an American audience that know Snoop Lion from his Dogg days where he contributed hip-hop vocals to rap and pop songs.  The pop-fused reggae beats were actually fresh and pleasant to listen to, regardless of how unauthentic it is to cultural Jamaican roots.

Every reggae artist that was featured on this album also earned the rating, as they all showed Snoop Lion up on his own album.  Whether it was a heavy hitter such as Mr. Vegas, or younger artists such as Papcann and Collie Buddz, listeners are only disappointed when realizing that the end of their verses brings back Snoop Lion.
Whether Reincarnated was truly a spiritual awakening for Snoop Lion, or it was a publicity stunt, both don’t offer a reasonable enough explanation as to just how frustrating this album really is.  Snoop is only left to ask for forgiveness for sinning with such an album.

2/5

I walked out, but all my anger wouldn’t dissipate. So, I threw her notebook across the room. I made sure not to rip it (I should have). But she shouted and cried , and I’m happy I got her to cry. I’m glad she didn’t see me cry. So, I took my stuff and my laptop up here to continue writing.  Now she thinks her words didn’t have any effect on me, and I won. My anger is gone now.  I locked the door and I won’t speak to her or my mom. She’s still saying petty little things from behind the door but it doesn’t matter cause the anger is gone and I know how hard she worked on that notebook. I feel much better than when I started writing this post.

A countless number of people do not want medical insurance for children or themselves, and this injustice causes terrible suffering for more and more people; not to mention political turmoil over the way would be best to create healthcare that would be available to everyone. Civilian insurance even offers limitations for pre-existing conditions and having certain conditions can get someone refused for coverage. This problem does not exist within the military world- as they have elected the health of not just the soldiers is most important, but also the health insurance well-being with their families.

If asked just what the best benefit from the military is, a soldier and his awesome family will likely answer it is the job security. A soldier will not have to think about getting fired; they buying a guaranteed paycheck that will not depend on hours. In the civilian world, even garnering employment doesn’t guarantee a paycheck. However, a soldier cannot quit his job if he doesn’t like it, whereas a civilian is provided for free to leave their job at will.

For many soldiers in addition to their families the lifestyle of the military is yet another world. Life with a military post is uniform. The houses look alike, the folks look and dress alike, and every day is significantly the same as the main one before. There may also be many restrictions over a military installation- such as identification checks coming from the gate, yard maintenance requirements, every pet have to have an identification chip. Also you must always be careful that you park; the higher ranking officers have designated spots everywhere.

Although the soldier is the one who is part from the military, the household is large part of it at the same time. Only a military wife will know the acronyms like TDY and CIF which can be constantly thrown around. Only a military child will tell you, “My daddy’s in Iraq.” without blinking a watch. In this world which could sometimes seem to isolate and suffocate, a military wife will be thankful for other military families that she has come to learn. These families will be your support in the event the going gets rough and no one else understands.

The civilian world can be a world that a majority of everyone knows. To a soldier who would like out of military life, the civilian world just has one word they yearn for- freedom. There are many reasons for having life within the civilian world that lots of take for granted, including seeing your children grow and also the differences and personality of other nutritional foods around you. The most important aspect of civilian life that military personnel overlook is their family. Your family is a part of you, and most people require support of these families to live. Soldiers who’re deployed can miss a year or eighteen months of these family’s lives. Civilians likely neglect waking each morning to see their selecting grow a little larger, whereas someone in the military might leave an infant on assignment, and are available back to a walking, talking toddler.

The military life allows its families opportunities that some may have never. One of these opportunities is getting to determine the world; the military has overseas tours in places like Germany, Alaska, Hawaii, and Korea. People inside civilian world pay lots of money to go on vacation to see these places. Not only can you choose where you want to live (most in the time), but the military pays all moving expenses, including mileage, food, displacement, and temporary housing.

Many civilian jobs have branches elsewhere and allow you to move location, but most from the time it is not feasible. After getting a spot, there exists moving to think about, and it is expensive. Also, getting a place to live can be quite a problem to start with. All in all, inside civilian life, seeing the world is really a very hard thing to generate happen.

Finally we address a very important factor inside the life of a military family- war. War will be the main reason that men and women are not joining or re-enlisting inside the service. Nobody wants their wife or husband to go away to war, however nowadays it is inevitable that they will. Some civilians could have loved ones overseas, nevertheless the war is quite different from a civilian versus military perspective. Living with a military post, there are soldiers coming home, continual funerals happening on base, and even things as dramatic as watching your neighbor obtain the news that her husband will never be returning home from war. Civilians see newspapers and also the news, and might have loved ones inside the war, but nothing within the civilian world can possibly compare to the raw contact with the war that living on the military base offers.

There a wide range of differences involving the civilian world and the military world. Each sphere possesses his own advantages and disadvantages, even more pronounced than these. The issues of health care, job security, freedoms, traveling, and war have all been addressed; however, actually, this really is barely the tip from the iceberg. Each lifestyle has countless differences and similarities it would be impossible to pay them without writing a novel. Hopefully, this very brief exploration into the worlds of military and civilian life shed some light about the differences in lifestyles. Additionally, anyone for the civilian world may recognize the freedoms they have that they do not even think about, which can be provided for them. George Orwell perhaps said it best, “People sleep peaceably within their beds in the evening only because rough men stand ready to do violence for the kids.”

Deluxe Edition Album Artwork

Will.i.am has been leading The Black Eyed Peas since 1995, but of all the artist’s solo endeavors, his latest album gives him the most attention.  After his group reached international success during the past five years, Will.i.am became noted in more production credits on other artists’ songs.  #willpower, Will.i.am’s fourth album, is a chance for the artist to finally make noise for himself.

His latest album is a project that has been in the making for three years, but once singles started to release in 2012, the hype for #willpower’s final stretch was building. Will.i.am’s album rides the progressive house pop trail that was paved in recent years by David Guetta, Calvin Harris, and Afrojack.  Like their albums, #willpower is a star-studded collaboration of various artists and producers.  While artists like Miley Cyrus, Justin Bieber, and Chris Brown provide guest vocals, producers like Afrojack, Steve Angello (of Sweedish House Mafia), and Dr. Luke provide club friendly beats.

#willpower begins with “Good Morning,” a soft melody of strings that features Willy Wonka-like lyrics.  Instead of a chocolate factory, Will.i.am invites people to an optimistic way of thinking while entering a dance party.  After progressive house songs such as “This Is Love” and “Let’s Go” follow the trap laced “Hello,” the album proceeds to balance itself in topic and genre.  Glitch sampled hip-hop songs “Gettin’ Dumb,” “Geekin’,” and “Freshy,” provide a break from the club scene by providing witty hip-hop lyrics stylized in simplistic pop stanzas.  Later in the album, socially conscious songs “The World Is Crazy” and “Ghetto Ghetto” are bookend breaks in topic and mood to contemporary pop songs such as “Fall Down” and “Far Away From home.”

This album takes listeners straight into the mind of Will.i.am, all while being invited to a dance party called #willpower.  This is a dance party that features an eclectic mix of genres and witty lyrics that are fun to listen and dance to, but provide little closure on exactly what the album is as a work of art.

Although Will.i.am created #willpower with his mind, as it features strategically placed collaborations and songs that decrease the domination of any one genre or theme, this album didn’t come from the heart.  For an album centered on electronic dance music, it has too much thought and not enough feeling.  #willpower isn’t music that can be felt, it’s just a group of thoughts collected in one album.

3/5

But room 27 sucks. Do not stay in room 27. Here’s why.

cowper-bane

►

The heater in the bathroom is on the blink. At 2:36am it makes enough noise to keep you up the rest of the night. Ouch. There is no “off” button.

Wrong kind of shower.

The shower has a shower curtain and is situated over a bath tub. Nice showerhead, but all together as a package not for me.

The rest of the suite is suitable Cowper.

And the grounds are gorgeous as always.

Stone angel at the Cowper Inn.

This stay only gets three showerheads. Next time I will ask for my usual rooms.

Prologue: I am not a believer.

There goes another 100 minutes of life, relinquished to the filmmaking ‘talent’ of Rob Zombie. As promising as The Lords of Salem started and looked throughout, it didn’t last long, and the movie rapidly and unashamedly descended into a complete mess.

Heidi, a radio DJ in Salem, MA, receives a mysterious package and unwittingly becomes the vessel with whom the murdered Salem woman/witches of 17th Century take their revenge.

It’s a true indicator of Rob Zombie’s skills as a storyteller that he can take a plot that begins extremely intriguingly, has style and tonal elements of an genuinely original horror mystery, and somehow turn it into a massive metaphorical cinema dump and figuratively rub it in the faces of his audience. Regardless of a few questionable, vulgar scenes and alienation techniques employed, the first 15 minutes of The Lords of Salem was very engaging. Zombie uses slapstick, incongruity and absurdity to chip at the guard of his audience, which enables him to execute some real scares, one of which is satisfyingly terrifying. He uses lighting adeptly throughout, creating a visual palette that hammers at the eye, and this is definitely his best-looking movie.

Despite the first 15 minutes, and in spite of what was developing into an interesting narrative, the film loses all of its wheels, grinds to a halt and explodes into a million pointless pieces. The acting really is absolutely terrible, with wooden yet over-the-top performances replete throughout from all members of cast. It doesn’t help that the script is clichéd and sounds rushed through pre-production. One could argue the heightened melodrama from the female characters pays homage to the possession/occult/blasphemy-ridden movies of thirty years ago, but Zombie brings nothing new to the table here, so you may as well watch the infinitely better The Exorcist, The Devils, Rosemary’s Baby or The Omen. It all just seemed a confusing, immature and, by the end, shocking for the sake of being shocking pile of nothingness. Watching a priest force fellatio in a church is not edgy, it is just agenda-less shock tactics that will have fanboys all over the world searching for hidden meaning when in reality there is none. Zombie is not clever, he’s not a pioneer of new horror, he’s a inept storyteller with an eye for the uncanny.

There is nothing hidden in this movie. It’s one of the most unsatisfying things I’ve seen ever. It’s just a boring mess from 15-101. It’s hard to understand why Zombie gets funding for movies, because for every movie he releases a little bit of the art of storytelling dies.

Meme Mondays are proof that anyone can master technology but that government money has been going to an organization for children that discriminates against children.

In announcing that they were thinking of opening up the organization to openly gay boys, I learned that the Boy Scouts of America had been keeping out openly gay youth, so now I’m really pissed. Like, bad enough to discriminate against leaders, but what the fuck? There is really a group of adult men who sit on a council (all wearing neckerchiefs and knee socks, BTW) that decided that a 15 year old kid couldn’t be a part of their club. I’m honestly shocked that anyone would want his or her child to be a part of such an awful thing.

..but first, a little laugh for the day: This photo. Heehee.

This… I miss this game so much!! This was my childhood game, Pokemon Puzzle League!! I wanna play this game again soon.

Okay, now onto last week’s photos, starting Thursday.

This is what happened when I was on my way to school. On one side, you see the cars and trucks (but mostly semis) stuck in traffic. That was cause going to Chicago had roads closed.

Coming down the ramp, it was a HUGE puddle of water, that freakin could immobilize any car there. Thankfully as soon as I took this photo, I saw it and quickly got out of the way.

As soon as I started driving down the highway, it started raining hard again. I believe those people have been stuck in traffic for bout over a few hrs.

Rearview mirror. The only thing you could see there was the HUGE traffic jam on one side, and this lone car miles behind me. They closed BOTH sides of I-94, starting from 130th St. Please everyone…, whatever you do, DO NOT attempt to do this, unless you are a profession at this, OR you are not driving.

The traffic stretched all the way to the ramp of 159th St.

Luckily, if you knew where you were going, you would’ve took the shortcut of taking 159th street to your destination (That is, if you weren’t going to Chicago).

Later when I went to my school, I came across a HUGE flood. Thankfully it didn’t get any worse.

After school. It started to rain again, although not as hard, but ya, the sweet, sweet smile on my face means that I am glad I didn’t take the day off.

Back in South Holland, I was trying to go to this advocate for my Mum, and the shortcut that I usually go to was blocked off… by the flood. Good freakin grief. =_=

The next day, I went to work, and it started hailing outside. Yea, this weather is getting crazier by the day.

When I got on the expressway, guess what? Another traffic jam, except it was cause I-94 was closed down due to Thursday’s wicked weather, so people were forced to exit via Dolton and take another route.

Two days later, the sun was shining. The horror weather was gone. This was taken today.

Photos that were taken today:

The Love Meter test. As you can see, my twin Ari put down me and Erik’s names on there and guess what? We’re a perfect love match! Yay I’m soo happy!

What you are looking at is me and my twin (Our reflections at the door, heehee) taking a photo of Magic Photo.. one of many shops that were closed down at River Oaks Mall. This mall has gotten worse over the years that I’ve been going there. Sadly, Magic Photo was one of my favorite photo shops to go… I’m pissed off and upset that they shut it down.

Final photo. Anti-gravity chairs rock! I was relaxing on one of these (The oversized chair), and some of the people (Including my coworkers and supervisors) were telling me that I look so relaxed and confortable laying in the chair! One lady called me a kid, though.. which was pretty funny.

So there are the photos. Happy Earth Day!

–Sashi

She was a reprobate hiding under the bible. As if she was capable of loving god, ha! She loved Satan, worshipped the death of humanity and the loss of innocence.  It seemed as though that the only thing she had picked up from the bible was her love and fascination with Lucifer, who she saw as the most sacred of the gods.

But anyways she was into this demon that lived under my feet. I could imagine this treacherous beast burrowing through the dirt like some sort of demonic fish; rabidly eating the dirt, killing mother earth’s creatures with his own set of decrepit rotted teeth. I would imagine the beast would have arms, but he wouldn’t use them because that would be too human like, which he hated. He would rather be more like a dolphin and just undulate his body to swim through the ocean of dirt. All the while the hate was festering as he moved along the dirt. Ah, can you picture that fury, that sublime rage for humanity, burrowing through the dirt, killing god’s creatures, shouting the most unimaginable slurs and coming for you next!

Since the first day I was at this witches house I always thought about whether or not the devil had a tail. It seemed natural that he would; if only because tails are associated with animals. And although the devil may be closer to a human in form, it sure is more like a feral animal. Or just any animal, like chimpanzees who eat monkeys without killing them first, that seems like a very Satan like thing to do. Which is probably why we are closely related; if you geneticists or biologists want to challenge me with your science, I’ll be here and just know that in the real world might makes right!

I have to say after hearing so much about this devil that lived under my feet, I grew a sort of fascination with what this king of the demons looked like. So I asked her, and she seemed to be a bit perplexed with what I had asked, “what do you mean what does Lucifer look like?” She always called him Lucifer and never Satan I guess it was her way of humanizing the devil into a ferocious god among humans. “He has red leather like skin-” “like the hot tamale candy’s, I don’t like those.” “No! Don’t interrupt you little shit!” And the venom in her mouth would start to bubble as she became angry with my inane remarks. “Tight red leather skin across his whole body, taken from the faces of little shits like you!” “But then what about all the holes in my face, what does he do about that? My face isn’t really that smooth, you know.” “He’s the devil, he can do whatever he wants!” “Well then why doesn’t he just put skin on his face without having to peel it from humans?“ “He doesn’t put skin on his face! He puts the skin on YOUR face on HIS body! And he peels off the skin from snot nosed kids like you because he hates kids like you!” “Apparently not enough because I’m still here. And is that it he has other people’s skin and that’s it?” “Ah you stupid little shit, SHUT YOUR MOUTH! You’re still here because there are more annoying kids than you out there, but eventually you’ll be the most snottiest nosed kid out there, and he’ll take your useless skin too!” But for the time being I wasn’t and that would make me just roll my eyes and leave, thinking courage the cowardly dog is probably on TV right now. 

And that’s how it was for a few months, until my own treacherous mind betrayed me! My mind and the great hypnotizing power of the television; I was never a fan of scary movies but the darkness that surrounded me, as I watched a movie about the devil laughing as he made his victims vomit all of their innards, seem all the more real. And it was in that visceral state of horror that I realized who the devil really was (not really) and it was at this point that the witchcraft of Silvia, which I had been immune to, all of a sudden profoundly, affected me! The devil was finally real. She was the conduit to evil, she was a harbinger of atrocities, and she was rot in human form.  The decay that she had wrought onto the world was now made visible to me whenever she performed one of her rituals. Her face showed it all haggardly; the violence, the anguish, the desperation, it was all there in her leathery shriveled skin. That stringy dried up black hair and those bony fingers she liked to point at me were a testament to how far gone she really was.

Everything was quickly devolving into her world, her vision of hell, no god, no future, where the only hope that existed was that death would come quick. She must have sensed my weakness because she was now reaching a whole new level on her witchcraft. Quickly her kitchen had turned into an alter for sacrificial ceremony. She was grabbing a baby by its ankles and violently twirling it above her head as if the child was nothing more than a lasso. A screaming lasso, which was probably never going to be the same if it had lived anyways since twirling and shaking are probably very similar. I wouldn’t know for sure I’ve never known the pleasure of twirling since I’m a man.  Anyways as this was going on she went on with the ceremony of death, praying to the devil, chanting the negative holy spirits, and violence became her. I could see it in her eyes, she wanted to bring that baby’s back on her knee and fulfill her lifelong dream of becoming a professional wrestler! She didn’t do that, but she wanted to, it was in her eyes, I couldn’t be making this up! Don’t take this as a positive though; what she ended up doing was no better; possibly worse since she had no chance of becoming a professional wrestler with the actions she took. She brought the baby down, cupping it in her hands as she got her teeth as close as possible to that baby’s head. And those demon teeth did exactly what you would expect, as she started to salivate for the brains of a baby the mercury in her teeth started to drip onto the baby, and melt his face away, but before the baby’s face could be completely melted off, she drowned the baby’s screams with her own shrieks of what I must imagine was her battle cry! She then became a beast, ravenously devouring the baby in the name of Lucifer the Great.

In this game of lunacy and witchcraft everything was quickly spiraling out of control. Something had to be done! Although now a simple fact, it took me weeks of seeing her perform these rituals for me to know what to do, but anyways… And it’s as people say, it’s not what happens to you, but how you choose to act in those moments that defines you. And I chose to show that bitch that in a game of madness I would not let her best me! She always did ramble on about hell, and that infernal tempest that burns you to the core, and I decided to show it to her first hand! Consequently I was diagnosed as a pyromaniac in the eyes of the court, and am now forbidden by the great state of California from interacting or starting a flame for any reason. At least until I turn into an adult. By then I’m sure my fascination with fire will be resolved. Anyways fires are bad and people are good! I think that’s what they wanted me to learn? Or was it the other way around…

Here’s the unimportant part of the story: Before Monday, I had no plans to run any  marathon. After running a 10-miler and a half-marathon with my husband, I knew that I liked running but didn’t love it. When he decided to sign up for Chicago, I looked for a reason to join him. I didn’t find it. Marathons demand incredible commitment and, when I looked within, I simply didn’t encounter the motivation to train my body that hard and push my mental stamina that far. I didn’t see a need to be that “tough.”

Now, the part that matters: Monday happened. I got a text about the bombings at Boston and went looking for more information. The first thing I saw was the now infamous photo of Jeff Bauman, and it changed everything. I couldn’t believe that he and other cheering race fans had been maimed, even murdered, in the act of supporting their loved ones. The fact that runners at the brink of crossing the finish line had their legs torn from them… it was the sickest kind of oxymoron, to turn that degree of triumph into tragedy by breaking bodies in the act of celebrating their physical peak.

And so, on Tuesday afternoon, I registered for the Chicago Marathon. In my 28 years, I have rarely received moments of perfect clarity. This was one. After the news sank in, all  I wanted to do was run a marathon. In the horror that Boston faced, I finally found my reason to be tough.

To be honest, on October 13, I will be running in part for myself. I need this marathon as a tangible reminder that people keep on shining despite the darkness that never quite goes away. I’ll also be running in part because I need to be by my husband’s side, overcoming one more challenge with him, building strong memories in the face of an uncertain future. But, more than anything, I will be running for Boston.

I dedicate my run to Boston because, come October 13, some of those injured marathoners still won’t be able to run, but their courage will still inspire me. I’ll run for them because if they can face what they’re going through, I can certainly overcome my own small fears. This run is for my new heroes, people like Adrianne, a dance instructor who lost half of her left leg on Monday and is already – just seven days later – vowing that she’ll not only dance again, but run Boston in 2014.

In honor of all these people, please consider helping me raise the money I’ve pledged as a member of Team Red Cross. I’m running the marathon under their banner and, while the branch I’m supporting is in Chicago, they are the same people who were so crucial in Boston. The people who were first responders. The people who saved lives. The people who managed to transition in seconds from providing basic first aid to conducting triage on a battlefield.

I’ve promised to donate at least $1,200 to further their work and I will need your help to make it happen. If you’re inspired to donate immediately, I feel I’ve got to ask you to look first to those who were directly affected (there are several good donation options here). They need aid now, and I have until August 6 to raise my contribution. So – while I’ll definitely be back with more entreaties for support in the future – for the moment I’ll leave you with what I think is the most important part of this story: the message to never give up.

To Run
~a prayer for Boston

By Scott Poole

To run

is to rise above the weak spirit

is to take on pain

is to push pain in the chest

with both palms

stumbling over garbage,

gravel, fragments of life,

is to say I will take you

on in the street.

Every breath of mine

is a battering ram,

shoving, crushing,

swinging a hammer of air.

I am a body of fast moving blood

inhaling you

taking you in like a tank.

I will consume your hate.

I will run straight into you

as if you were a finish line of joy,

picking up the fallen along the way

and you will never stop me,

you will never

stop me.

I have to decide my summer and I don’t know what I want. I got accepted into the programs I wanted, but I also want to go to Europe.
I am sick. My best friend is leaving me and only some higher power knows how things will turn out. I need to get so much work done but I just can’t. I am home from school and I have all the time to create right now, but I am conflicted. I don’t even know.