Movie making is a lot like cooking; you leave something unattended for too long and it ends up being overdone. A master chef can have some great ingredients but if their heart just isn’t into it the result can be less than satiating. Unfortunately, such is the case with the movie Mortuary directed by Tobe Hooper. When I see the name Tobe Hooper on a movie I get excited. This is the cinematic master chef that fed us skin wearing, fang dropping, house haunting classics like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974), Salem’s Lot (1979), and Poltergeist (1982). I took one look at the cover of Mortuary, saw the Hooper name, and said “bon fuckin’ appetite”. But after a few bites, I thought that this dish could use a bit more spice.

Middle age widow, Leslie Doyle (Denise Crosby) packs up her teenage son Jonathan (Dan Byrd), and young daughter Jamie (Stephanie Patton) and moves the family out to a small town in California. Interestingly enough, Leslie has had an impromptu career change and decided to become the town mortician. Just as the Doyle’s move into their dilapidated mortuary/funeral parlor/home, they hear rumors of the land’s malevolent past and a former resident that might not be so former after all.

I’m torn about Mortuary, I really am. A movie like this has so much potential. If done right, a story in this vein could be a gusher, but it seems that the chef went out for a smoke while the meat burned on the grill. Half of the actors were good, the other half of them should have been thrown down the garbage disposal. Half of the script is tighter than my belt after a three course meal, and the other half of it was sloppier than chili burgers at an elementary school cafeteria. Half of the special effects were great works of labor, and the other half of them were pathetic attempts at CGI with low budget equipment.

Ultimately I enjoyed Mortuary, but when it comes to horror flicks, I’m not exactly a picky eater. I don’t need to be pampered like some silver-spoon-fed asshole. But when you go out to experience the work of a master such as Tobe Hooper, you expect a certain level of expertise that you won’t necessarily find anywhere else. With Mortuary, I was left a bit hungry.

Rating:

Have you ever come across something that you thought was dead but then it turned out that it wasn’t, and upon further examination, it really should be dead, but for some reason it isn’t? No, I’m not talking about American Idol. I’m talking about what Rickie (Shiloh Fernandez) and JT (Noah Segan) stumble upon in the movie DEADGIRL that will change their lives forever.

Living in this technological age, images and videos of genocidal aftermath, domestic murders, and sexual deviants are just a key stroke away. It is becoming increasingly harder and harder to stun and horrify the modern day individual no matter how much grue they throw at us. Well, co-directors Marcel Sarmiento and Gadi Harel take a different approach to fucking with our freak-out factor with DEADGIRL. Not only do they choose an uncomfortable subject, they choose three of them, and weave them together into a masterful snapshot of mental depravity that you almost feel ashamed for watching.

DEADGIRL is a must see. It is shot as gritty and perverse as a snuff film with the intelligence and sophistication of a documentary. I was amazed by the caliber of acting that this indie flick carried. The subjects of gang rape, necrophilia, and teenage sexual slaves were three things I thought I would never even need to string together in a single sentence, but DEADGIRL more than merits the effort. And just when you think that these subjects are more than you can handle and you need to go scrub your eyeballs of all the filth that has polluted your pupils, they throw you some cock-chomping, zombie carnage.

Rating :

According to Variety, Snakes on a Plane helmer David R. Ellis was hired to lens a new horror flick entitled Humpty Dumpty.  This film is described as a:

… 3-D sci-fi horror pic is about a half-human, half-alien creature who embarks on a murderous rampage after his alien mother is abused by two rednecks in the Deep South.

Wonder if this will start a trend of nursery rhyme named horror epics?  We hope not.  That would get pretty tedious.  But this talk of Humpty Dumpty did remind of this funny bit:

Everytime the censor board raises a saregama over silly stuff  they just help promote what they are objecting to.

This time they took Sexy Mama from Vikram K Kumar’s 13B quite literally and were eager to maintain the sanctity of all Mamas, snipping sexy for crazy.

You’d think Mamas would prefer to be hot as opposed to lunatics, no?!

Song Facts The music was composed by Shankar, Ehsaan and Loy, the lyricist is Neelesh Mishra and it is sung by Baba Sehgal and Anushka Manchanda from the all girls band Viva that broke up after an album or two. The movie stars R.Madhavan and Neetu Chandra.

Dunno what the anything but scary song is doing in a horror flick but it’s definitely catchy.

Give it a listen -

There’s also the uncensored  Sab Kahairiyat Hai by Shankar Mahadevan.

It wasn’t that bad up until the end when they cop out and say that the bitch was crazy and her sister she was hanging out with the whole damn movie wasn’t even alive.  What a waste.

This last year I saw the worst movie to ever make it to the theaters.  It was called House or The House… it was like a story my 4 year old niece told.  All over the place with no real plot whatsoever and all kinds of random things thrown in.  If you thought what I did that it may be worth it because creepy houses are great places for scary movies to take place… well you would be wrong! The whole thing took place in the basement where there are drips all over the place.  Why do so many of the horror flicks now take place in some wet concrete basement or warehouse!?

They just don’t make them the way they used to I guess.  I still think the scariest movie I have ever seen that still freeks me out and I still refuse to watch by myself is The Changeling with George C Scott… 1984 I believe.  My family let me watch this while I was a kid… once it got to the creepy part where he is tearing down the wall to the attic I freaked and told my parents to turn it off.  They sent me to my room and continued to watch it… I could hear it while I was hiding under my covers.  You may ask now if this is the only reason I thought it was so scary… maybe but it was genuinly a scary movie.  It doesn’t have blood guts and gore… which is completely overrated! It takes place in an incredibly huge and creepy house with a little boy doing the haunting.  Big spooky house… check…. creepy little kid… check… bouncy ball that wont go away?… check.

Actress Han Chae-young

Actress Han Chae-young has been cast as the heroine in a new film to be jointly produced by Korea and New Zealand. According to Han’s management agency, the actress will take on the leading role in “Soul Mates,” which will be directed by director Scott Reynolds of New Zealand.

“Soul Mates” will be jointly produced by Korean film production company Daejanggan and its New Zealand counterpart Touchdown Eyeworks. The film is a horror flick about the death of an Asian woman named Jin-hee, who lives in New Zealand. The two production companies signed an agreement of mutual support on September 29.

Han’s management agency said the actress took the opportunity as it could be a stepping stone to making inroads into Hollywood. Reynolds and Han will attend the “New Zealand Reception” with New Zealand Ambassador to Korea Jane Coombs. The reception will be held on October 4 during the 13th Pusan International Film Festival period.

Credit: http://seoulfull.wordpress.com
Please take out only with credit and do not add any credits.

Actress Han Chae-young

Actress Han Chae-young has been cast as the heroine in a new film to be jointly produced by Korea and New Zealand. According to Han’s management agency, the actress will take on the leading role in “Soul Mates,” which will be directed by director Scott Reynolds of New Zealand.

“Soul Mates” will be jointly produced by Korean film production company Daejanggan and its New Zealand counterpart Touchdown Eyeworks. The film is a horror flick about the death of an Asian woman named Jin-hee, who lives in New Zealand. The two production companies signed an agreement of mutual support on September 29.

Han’s management agency said the actress took the opportunity as it could be a stepping stone to making inroads into Hollywood. Reynolds and Han will attend the “New Zealand Reception” with New Zealand Ambassador to Korea Jane Coombs. The reception will be held on October 4 during the 13th Pusan International Film Festival period.

Credit: http://seoulfull.wordpress.com
Please take out only with credit and do not add any credits.

Actress Han Chae-young

Actress Han Chae-young has been cast as the heroine in a new film to be jointly produced by Korea and New Zealand. According to Han’s management agency, the actress will take on the leading role in “Soul Mates,” which will be directed by director Scott Reynolds of New Zealand.

“Soul Mates” will be jointly produced by Korean film production company Daejanggan and its New Zealand counterpart Touchdown Eyeworks. The film is a horror flick about the death of an Asian woman named Jin-hee, who lives in New Zealand. The two production companies signed an agreement of mutual support on September 29.

Han’s management agency said the actress took the opportunity as it could be a stepping stone to making inroads into Hollywood. Reynolds and Han will attend the “New Zealand Reception” with New Zealand Ambassador to Korea Jane Coombs. The reception will be held on October 4 during the 13th Pusan International Film Festival period.

Credit: http://seoulfull.wordpress.com
Please take out only with credit and do not add any credits.

So yes, one has to wonder where this sort of story can go beyond ‘fuck, this chick has teeth down there.. oh dear, I appear to have lost by precious manhood’.This is remedied by having lots of guys become acquainted with our heroine’s rather unusual physiology, which obviously adds some extra screen time.To add another dimension to the tale, our heroine, Dawn, is the spokesperson for the local abstinence movement.She wears a symbolic plastic ring and an array of jazzy slogan t-shirts to declare her determination to save herself for the lucky man she will one day marry.To further thicken the plot Dawn also has a mum suffering from a nameless illness and a vaguely menacing step brother who inevitably takes the opposite view to Dawn regarding sex and love.He also happens to be the first guy to fall victim to the dreaded teeth, back when both were kids showing each other their respective bits.Not surprisingly, step brother tends to get anal with his apparent girlfriend (we see her in bed with him more than once, so one has to assume an element of romance there, however misplaced).

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We’re introduced to Dawn as she’s giving a heartfelt speech about the importance of saving one’s precious gift for the right person – her audience (of which many you’d assume are too young to even comprehend the idea of sex) are already devotees, smiling and shouting in mindless agreement.So far so good.Cue new boy, Toby.He catches Dawn’s eye, they smile.. and so begins their tentative descent into the minefield that is teen dating.Although on the surface a sensitive type, Toby’s long suffering libido soon reveals itself to be more than either can handle (though to be fair, hapless Dawn did invite him to go swimming in a secluded pool, complete with cave; they’re pretty much playing with fire here).Yet even Dawn uttering her magic word, ‘purity’ when their kissing becomes too heated isn’t enough to deter the foolish lad, who, as you can guess, pays for his transgression in a painfully fitting fashion. And so beings Dawn’s series of hilarious gore-laden encounters. Interestingly, non of Dawn’s male attackers appear to be in as much pain as you’d expect, though all are decidedly devastated at the loss of their weapon. Understandably, poor Dawn is confused and alarmed by all this; her screams throughout the film are fantastic.Perhaps the most amusing scene is her encounter with a not-so-professional gynaecologist; we know what’s going to happen, but Dawn’s own horror mixed with her victim’s chant-like accusation, ‘vagina dentata!’ is so ridiculous that you have to laugh. A lot.

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The film embraces a particular sort of dated kitsch aesthetic, which works in its favour.Think of it as a good B movie, the kind you tape off the TV as a kid and still have a soft spot for.It captures the awkwardness of burgeoning teenage and female sexuality, as well as playing around the mystery that surrounds female genitalia – Dawn’s science teacher literally censors their textbook diagram, unable himself to utter the dreaded terminology.So in this way we get to see Dawn discover the power of her own body, touching on ideas of feminist empowerment and the like, but without really getting too much into it – this is a light-hearted film after all, and should be.

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At times, the plot becomes a bit muddled, and though not strikingly original, Lichtenstein uses the material in a more interesting way than many would in his position.The weaker points of the film can be forgiven since overall the balance of horror and comedy works well, aided by the off-centre atmosphere of the world Dawn inhabits and some delightfully comic performances from the cast.Good, toothsome fun.

Sure the wall is boring at times, but its scored beautifully and this type of film direction is totally my style.  Its creepy and nearly everything is meant to mean something yet at the same time mean something else, not to mention it makes you feel like your on drugs.  I would not reccomend watching this movie on drugs, I would also not reccommend this movie to small children.  with that said I loved it! 

so In an attempt to catch up on all the great movies behold the new netflix account!
add me as a friend! ..wait netflix is actually ridding the site of all its member profiles (who needs em anyway right)
 
why was netflix even trying to be social? isn’t that what social network apps are for? get with it!

anyways im looking for reccomendations now, I’m into horror flicks and comedies.  I love watching documentaries and a handful of dramas.  love the indie wes anderson style and epic speildbergs, hate movies with unececcary cameos, unconvincing premises and bad story telling.  most new studio pictures suck!  any suggestions?

favorite movie of all time is full metal jacket

“Career politicians are bought and sold,” says Jesse Ventura, but “no one owns me. I come with no strings attached.” His victory in the Minnesota gubernatorial race was one of the most surprising stories of the 1998 elections; even after he’d served as mayor of his small Minneapolis suburb, few pundits expected that the former pro wrestler, film actor, and radio personality had what it took to win a statewide campaign against two established politicians.
I Ain’t Got Time to Bleed takes its title from the best remembered line in Ventura’s film debut, the action/horror flick Predator. It’s a phrase that neatly encapsulates his rough and tumble approach to political activism. In addition to a look behind the scenes at his campaign, and his stand on the issues affecting his state (particularly tax reform and public education), Ventura also shares with readers his experiences as a member of the U.S. Navy’s SEAL program and as a pro wrestler. It’s a lively read that’s sure to satisfy his established fans and surprise skeptics with its thoughtful approach to politics and civic responsibility.

When he left the navy SEALs to become a pro wrestler, the fans knew him as “Jesse, the Body.”

When he hosted his hard-hitting KFAN radio talk show, he became “Jesse, the Mouth.”

And now that this body-slamming, straight-talking, charismatic hero is masterminding Minnesota’s gubernatorial decisions, you’d better start calling him “Jesse, the Mind.”

In I Ain’t Got Time to Bleed, Jesse Ventura reveals the secret of his landslide electoral success�with record voter turnout�and maps his innovative strategies for pioneering a new era in American government. In his own inimitable words, he takes on bloated government, career politicians, and apathetic voters, and tells the wildly colorful story of his days as a navy SEAL, his nights in the pro-wrestling ring, and his experiences on radio and in films like Predator and Batman and Robin .

I Ain’t Got Time to Bleed is Rocky meets Mr. Smith Goes to Washington�a book that will challenge readers’ ideas of traditional government as it introduces them to one of American politics’ most ferocious new heroes.

In I Ain’t Got Time to Bleed, Jesse Ventura reveals the secrets of his landslide electoral success — with record voter turnout — end maps his innovative strategies for pioneering a new era in American government. In his own inimitable words, he takes on bloated government, career politicians, and apathetic voters, and tells the wildly colorful story of his days as a navy SEAL, his nights: in the pro-wrestling ring, and his experiences on radio and in films like Predator and Batman and Robin.

Order I Ain’t Got Time to Bleed: Reworking the Body Politic from the Bottom Up from Amazon for $4.76

Other Kindle Books of Interest
The End of America
A Lion’s Tale
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By Barton Gellman and Jo Becker
Washington Post Staff Writers
Monday, June 25, 2007

Shortly after the first accused terrorists reached the U.S. naval prison at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, on Jan. 11, 2002, a delegation from CIA headquarters arrived in the Situation Room. The agency presented a delicate problem to White House counsel Alberto R. Gonzales, a man with next to no experience on the subject. Vice President Cheney’s lawyer, who had a great deal of experience, sat nearby.

The meeting marked “the first time that the issue of interrogations comes up” among top-ranking White House officials, recalled John C. Yoo, who represented the Justice Department. “The CIA guys said, ‘We’re going to have some real difficulties getting actionable intelligence from detainees’” if interrogators confined themselves to treatment allowed by the Geneva Conventions.

Cheney and his allies, according to more than two dozen current and former officials, pioneered a novel distinction between forbidden “torture” and permitted use of “cruel, inhuman or degrading” methods of questioning. They did not originate every idea to rewrite or reinterpret the law, but fresh accounts from participants show that they translated muscular theories, from Yoo and others, into the operational language of government.

A backlash beginning in 2004, after reports of abuse leaked out of Iraq’s Abu Ghraib prison and Guantanamo Bay, brought what appeared to be sharp reversals in courts and Congress — for Cheney’s claims of executive supremacy and for his unyielding defense of what he called “robust interrogation.”

What more proof does anyone need that this is not an American administration? This is a nightmare out of a bad horror flick. Where are the heroic teenagers from the 1950s who discover the Monster that adults do not believe exists? Americans today are as dumb as their ‘B’ movie counterparts. They look right at the monster and are hypnotized into believing the monster mantras. The movie ’1984′ has us in it’s “Group Speak” and “Group Think” grip. Thinkers are outlaws. Lord Cheney, the evil ruler of America’s powers is out to change us from free thinkers to ‘group robots’. We are living in a ‘B’ Horror Movie! Feel Free to scream!