Firstly, I actually encountered a shoplifting case at Orchard Paragon Shopping Mall on Saturday while I was there buying wine for a birthday party, which I will blog about, soon.

My friends and I heard some commotion near the entrance of the mall and, as faithful SINGAPOREANS, we rushed over to show some concern lah. At first it looked like a fight among a few men, but then a helpful bystander told me “that guy stole something.” Okay thank auntie! I forgot to thank you for sharing this piece of info because I WAS TOO INTRIGUED WITH THE SCENE!

Oh, so there is actually this one guy – I think he is Malay – pinned down on the floor by 3 other men. It’s like a 4-men “tou-pok” session with some struggling – the two policemen was trying to handcuff the shoplifter, while another man in full black attire wrestled and locked him down. It turned out the man in black is an employee from Gucci. So well, you could guess right, the shoplifter tried to get something out of THE GUCCI STORE but was caught red-handed, attempted to run away but the Gucci employee beat the shit out of him. Okay, maybe not beat; locked the shit out of him.

This is a bad bad picture I know, blurry and all. But better than nothing okay! I actually had my camera slinged in front of my chest. I don’t know why I didn’t use it to take picture. Maybe I’d wanted to be more discreet with taking pictures? In case somebody comes and confiscates my camera for evidence?! Bitch please, I already lost my camera once.

So in this picture, it shows the moment when the shoplifter was finally handcuffed and lifted up by the policemen. You can see the Gucci employee at the most left, slightly blocked by the man in blue (some management personnel?). His nice full black uniform was all over the place when he got up actually – the shirt was out and up, and looked kinda torn in some way.

You can see one of the policemen trying to lift the shoplifter up right? In the middle of the picture…

Sorry for the blurriness again lah.

I was very shocked by this incident, not because it’s shoplifting, but BECAUSE IT’S FROM FREAKIN’ GUCCI.

This guy must be crazy, please.

Come on,who steals from Gucci!?

Y U NO BRAIN?!

I mean, if you want it so badly, go buy a fake one lah, if you can’t afford the real one. Okay, maybe he is a kleptomaniac. Well, maybe he is just crazy lor, who knows. But stealing from Gucci, is just… very out of the world for me. And you did it at the Gucci store which is the middle of Orchard Road leh. If you run also cannot run anywhere right.

VERY INTRIGUING INDEED. What was the shoplifting man really thinking? Perhaps he got other motives, like he wanted to go to jail because he could not support himself/thought that he’s a failure in life/broke up with gf and became too depressed… Okay, maybe he’s not even Singaporean, so he didn’t know that Singapore has one of the strictest security and public order in the world.

OMG CRIMINAL PSYCHOLOGY. SO INTERESTING. So much more interesting than what I’m studying right now please. BITCH PLEASE.

Okay, I shall not talk about the depressing paper I did this morning. What’s done’s done. OVER ALREADY.

Moving on, I had another puzzle to solve that is also related to Gucci. A rather simple one I must say. Well, I shall keep this person’s identity a secret since this is a rather embarrassing matter. Let’s call this person XX, and just assume that it’s a she.

So XX bought a Gucci bag online from this blogger whom she thought was reliable. Well, her friend told her things about the blogger lah. Lesson #1: Some friends’ advice can listen, but some are just plain BS that will get you nowhere, good.

The blogger claimed that the Gucci bag is 2nd hand, and she wanted to sell it since she, as a rich man’s daughter, has many other. She would sell it for S$60.

OHHHHHHHHHH BITCH PLEASE.

S$60 for a Gucci bag which my pro eyes estimates to be at least a thousand dollars in the stores. BITCH PLEASE. Even second hand also not so cheap lar.

XX actually believed this price and bought it. And then showed it to me.

Please I knew that the bag is fake the moment I saw it.

#1: the color’s too light.

#2: when I touch it, the material feels cheap.

Okay lah, so I comforted XX and told her that at least it’s not a low grade fake. It’s still of good quality for everyday use. Nonetheless, XX felt very cheated. And I feel sorry for her foolishness as well. Yikes! You can’t carry a fake to town, else you risk getting caught and thrown into the prison. I jest.

So PEOPLE, let me share with you one sure way to see if a Gucci or LV bag is fake. Just by one look you will know.

#3: The side of the bag must have some symmetry or a continuous pattern.

Here’s an example of a Gucci bag I saw at a branded good sale at J cube on Sunday:

You see, there is a neatness in the continuance of the pattern right? For fakes there is no such thing. Well, for most of them lah. Maybe there are some super high grade ones around which I haven’t encountered.

Here’s a picture of a random LV bag which I saw on the train:

You can see the symmetry of the prints right? There you go, a real LV.

And well, the auntie was also quite anal lah, put her bag on the seat next to hers. Auntie, you think your bag LV big fcuk is it?

Of course, this is not the most reliable telltale, but it is definitely the easiest. No need touch, no need look inside the bag. Just at the side of the bag can already.

#4: Most branded bags will have a serial code on them somewhere. By that I DO NOT mean the “Made in Italy” sign hor please. It’s just some serial code imprinted/stamped on some flap of leather inside the bag or what lah. Go find it.

Okay, declaimer: I am not  professional when it comes to this, of course.

Well, at least I am not a noob with this kind of stuff. Not because I buy a lot of branded stuff though. I really don’t. Don’t see the point in spending on luxury goods (yet) when the money can be better spent on food and traveling. I’m still a poor undergraduate who earns from teaching private home tuition T_T

So here’s a post, specially for all you all-nighters. I know you guys miss me, all the every time. LOL

xo

nigey