Celebrate the arrival of hump day with the following musical gift from me to you:

Burns – In My Eyes (His Majesty Andre Remix)

I know it’s Friday and Friday is not Hump Day but I ran into this “urban” comedy troupe that started releasing videos fresh within the last year. They are Northside Comedy. I believe this team has a bright future and they are funny as hell to me because I LOVE Black comedy. Check them out. Northside Comedy.

Oh and shout outs to the Defective Clones team. They have started a new series called HaterBot and I will be premiering some of their material pretty soon. Holla!

Some days you just feel dirty.  So many of our photos feature such perfect, shiny specimens of men — but really sometimes I want a different kind of perfection.  The kind that isn’t perfectly waxed, the kind that smokes and drinks, you know, maybe he even has the faintest smell of B.O.  Someone like Justin Mark.  When I look at Justin’s shots, it makes me want to do very dirty things.  To him.  To myself.

Want even more of Justin?  Check out the new AllDude.com web site!  HAPPY HUMP DAY!

Photo by Steve Henry

Photo by Steve Henry

Photo by Steve Henry

Photo by Steve Henry

Photo by Steve Henry

Photo by Steve Henry

We’re halfway through Hump Day.

The good news: only 2.5 days until the weekend.
The bad news: I have a giant paper due on Friday at 5 p.m. and I still haven’t started it yet.
The worst news: I missed the Teen Mom reunion special last night.

Gah! There’s only one thing that can get me through this day (OK, maybe two, but I doubt Channing Tatum has the time to stop by my place for a little afternoon snuggle-and-rub-my-hands-all-over-his-abs session): a little Would You Rather.

So here we go:

Would you rather always have to say everything on your mind OR never speak again?

Things to consider: evil thoughts, sexual thoughts, political debates with people who have no idea what they’re talking about.

Vote now and share your reasoning below!

Two oldies but goodies from yet another hot little Aussie electronic getup (think Pnau, Cut Copy, The Presets, Empire of the Sun).

Miami Horror – Don’t Be On With Her

Miami Horror – Sometimes

Hey. I’m Farrah Moans and I like sex. Having it, talking about it, talking about having it. I’m basically not afraid to Go There. Except I draw my line at anime porn, that’s just fucked up.

My boyfriend is abroad this semester (yeah, I’m dying), and my first thought was not, “Oh what will I do without you by my side for months?” It was, “Oh cool, I’ve never had phone sex before.”

Some initial complications with losing my phone sex virginity: Roommates. They are always home when I’m in the mood to talk dirty. Also, his phone is a piece of shit. See example:Him: “You’re so what?”

Me: “I’m so wet…”

“Sorry, what?”

“Wet.”

“Huh?”

“I’m. Fucking. WET!”

“…what are you fucking?”

And so on. The only bigger mood crusher is your mother catching you looking at fetish porn. “Honey, you’re into latex too?” Gross.

But I was bored one day and whipped out the vibe and the Blackberry, intent on making him come by sound of my voice. Except making up dirty stuff on the spot is hard especially when you can’t supplement it with body language.

Screaming “Oh my God!” over and over only works when you’re horizontal. Phone sex requires a little more ingenuity than I can muster mid-orgasm (‘cause even though the phone sex failed, the vibe still did its job).

At this point, I’d rather just make a sex tape. Which is another story soon to come…

Love & anal beads,

Farrah

Hump Day! And an extremely busy hump day it was!  My real good friend and coworker and partner in crime of all things ’fun’ was hospitalized last night because she was having chest pains. I was afraid for her. I am sure she was also. I am learning more and more the older I get and the longer I live I realize the importance of  life and time and the ability to begin anew.  I will miss her when she retires because she reminds me of me now and the me I see in her I hope to have at 66.  My retirement at 55 is a-coming. Her retirement in June is also coming.

 Today was also the State of the Union Address given by my President. http://www.barackobama.com/issues/ I  know, I know he is our president and Michelle’s man; however it makes me feel a sense of ownership when I call him My President.  I say it with the high pitch cuteness one hears in the voices of grown women when a baby comes into the office. And the baby smiles, giggles, blows spit bubbles, burps or farts.  We think the baby is soooo cute. My President spoke abut differences and the fact that even though they exist, we must find a way to make it work for the common good. If the Lord doesn’t continue to bring up our pasts then why can’t we? Today I thought of my friend all day and even though we are a lot alike we are different.  She is white and I am black.  She is a lesbian in a committed 20 year relationship and I am straight, divorced and raising 3 children alone. She appears to be financially sound and I am trying to get sound. Our individualities make us each unique; our individual ways of expressing  joy, excitement, sadnesses and disgust are dffferent.  She eats ‘tata chips like a puppy chomping on popcorn – smacking with head back so the chips/popcorn won’t come out of her mouth.  I curse, she does not.   She quilts, I admire her quilting.  We both write, we both love to organize and delegate, we are both kind, considerate and compassionate women who put action behind our remarks, we admit when we are wrong, we have mothers who make us better and stronger women and sisters in our lives that are equally as strong as we.  She is seen as nice, I am a little high strung. We worship God in different ways – we believe in the betterment of all.  We are different, our goals is common. 

Like My President Obama we want our children’s future to be brighter and better and I think between the 2 of us we oughta’  be able to work something out.  She called me today and she is fine, was being released today.  While we were on the phone giggling about her eventful hospital stay her cardiologist walked in the room.  She immediately said I have to go my cardiologist is walking in the room! I said is he single and she said “you can steal him! ” That’s my girl!

It’s a gloomy day here in the Bay Area… Hell, it’s been a gloomy few weeks!  Some days all you want to do is stay in bed with a hot guy.  Today’s Hump Day Hunk is the perfect guy.  Jim Masters is the kind of sexy stud you just know is going to keep you warm throughout the whole day and even through the rest of the week — HAPPY HUMP DAY!

See all of the hot MegaMuscle.com guys on the Mega Muscle Member Site!  All photos by Steve Henry, see more of his work at http://stevehenryphotographer.com.

Photo by Steve Henry

Photo by Steve Henry

Photo by Steve Henry

Photo by Steve Henry

Photo by Steve Henry

Photo by Steve Henry

Greek yogurt with frozen berries & fiber one sprinkles

Looks like we’ve got a winner for the applesauce giveaway from last week:

Jess from Jess Likes It Hot said:

“Ahh yayy!! I really want to try mixing the apple sauce with cottage cheese soon! And looove that its a complex carb which gives me some extra energy in my day”

Congrats, girl!  Please email your mailing address to freckledfoodielove@gmail.com and Musselman’s will be sending some goods your way soon!

Last nights eats were VERY random, let me warn you ahead of time.

Not exactly nutritional all-stars, but they were mighty yummy

I snacked on these with a Jonagold when I got home as a pre-bike workout.  I biked for about 2 hours total burning 650 calories.

After biking, I steamed some broccoli slaw in the microwave, topped it with 1/2 C. (50 calories, 0g of fat) of this awesome sauce:

Light Ragu

The flavor was insane for being a “light” sauce.  I could really taste the sweet basil.  It was awesome!  I also topped the bowl off with about 3/4 C. of fat free cottage cheese.  It was kind of off the cuff for a meal, but it ended up reminding me of the way lasagna tastes!  With the red sauce and riccotta cheese mixed!  SOOOO yummy.  And the sauce was perfectly sweet.  I will be remaking this soon   Foodie success!

Dessert was a deep chocolate Vitatop:

Chocolatey goodnesss.

After showering, I sat down to relax and enjoy the Biggest Loser.

I’m pretty sure these two are my favorite:

Sam & Koli

They seem to be so sweet & genuine.  Willing to do whatever it takes. 

I packed my lunch for today:

Dr. McDougall's Split Pea Soup

NUTRITION FACTS:
Serving Size 1 cup, 245g
Servings Per Container about 2
Amount Per Serving:
Calories 100
Total Fat 0g
Saturated Fat 0g
Trans Fat 0g
Cholesterol 0mg
Sodium 420mg
Total Carbohydrate 19g
Dietary Fibers 7g
Protein 7g

+

Sliced yellow peppers.

Tata for now!  Have a great Hump Day!

Thought you all might enjoy this one. Kseniya Simonova’s interpretation of Germany’s WWII invasion of the Ukraine by sand drawing. She was the winner of Ukraine’s version of “America’s Got Talent.” Very cinematic.

The anticipated lead single from the upcoming (as in 11 months from now) Tron movie soundtrack (which apparently has been leaked):

Daft Punk – Fragile

It’s Wednesday. When does this start to get old?

A guy is driving on old country back roads. A deer jumps out in front of him, he swerves, loses control, and winds up stuck in the ditch. He gets out, surmises the situation, and realizes there’s no way he can get unstuck without help. To make things worse, he forgot to bring his cell phone with him.

Just as he is about to resign himself to walking to the nearest gast station, home, or whatever, where he can place a call to a to a tow truck service, an old farmer calls out to him from across the field.

“Hey thar young feller - you’s be need’n some hep?”

The man said, happy to hear a friendly voice, “Yeah, sure could. Car’s stuck in this ditch.”

The aging farmer approached, looked the car over and said, “Shore are, mister. You’s shore stuck in that thar ditch. Tellya what, hold ‘er raht here fer a sec, ‘n’ ahl get ma horse’n pullya outathere, k?”

“Really appreciate it, sir,” the man said, “and don’t worry I can’t go anywhere. I’ll be right here.”

They both laughed at that and the farmer trudged off across the field. Within fifteen minutes he came galloping back on his very old looking horse. He backed the horse up to the car, connected them with a rope, and shouted the command, “Pull, Barney, pull!”

The horse did nothing. The farmer shouted, “Pull, Nellie, pull!”

Still nothing. The man, standing beside his car, sighed. The farmer ordered, “Pull, Fanny, pull!”

No movement. The man was about to give up and start walking when the farmer shouted, “Pull, John-boy, pull”

The horse pulled the car out of the ditch.

The man shook the farmer’s hand and said, “Can’t thank you enough, sir. Really appreciate this. But – can I ask you a question?”

“Shore can, what be on yer mind?”

“Why did you shout out four different names with orders to pull – there’s only one horse.”

The farmer laughed and kicked some gravel. “Aw shucks, ol’ John-boy here’s blind. If’n he thought fer a second he was the onliest one pullin’ he would’na done a goshdarn thang.”

~~~~~

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Oh no, not again… it’s hump day and you’ve got a case of the mid-week slumps. We know the feeling… Friday seems so far away yet it feels like it was ages ago that you woke up Monday morning! We’re here to provide you with a little bump to get through your mid-week slump. So crank up your stereo on your lunch break and take a moment to breathe. Why wish your life away and yearn for Friday when you can relax and enjoy this moment? Here’s what’s playing on my iPod. Enjoy!

Kind of in Love – The Avett Brothers

Stand By Me – Playing for Change

Mama’s Song – Carrie Underwood

Call and Return – Hellogoodbye

King Without A Crown – Matisyahu

This Could Be Love – Alkaline Trio

Everything – Alanis Morissette

About Mr. Brown (Live) – O.A.R.

Do You Realize – The Flaming Lips

5 Years Time – Noah and the Whale

Mansard Roof – Vampire Weekend

Fishing in the Dark – Nitty Gritty Dirt Band

Almost Lover – A Fine Frenzy

Video – India.Arie

Blue Foundation – Eyes on Fire

“Watching movies” is

now called “doing research” for my

job at the video store.

The Old Silly apologizes for being a day late in posting your usual dose of mid-week pick-me-up Hump Day humor, but … as you saw yesterday, we had a very special guest that pre-empted regular blogcasting. So – congratulations on making it this far through the work week, sit back and enjoy a good laugh.

~~~~~

When I was a young minister, a funeral director asked me to hold a grave side service for a homeless man with no family or friends. The funeral was to be at a cemetery way out in the country. This was a new cemetery and this man was the first to be laid to rest there.

I was not familiar with the area and became lost. Being a typical man, of course, I did not ask for directions. I finally found the cemetery about an hour late. The back hoe was there and the crew was eating their lunch. The hearse was nowhere to be seen.

I apologized to the workers for being late. As I looked into the open grave, I saw the vault lid already in place. I told the workers I would not keep them long, but that this was the proper thing to do. The workers, still eating their lunch, gathered around the opening.

I was young and enthusiastic and poured out my heart and soul as I preached. The workers joined in with, “Praise the Lord,” “Amen,” and “Glory!” I got so into the service that I preached and preached and preached, from Genesis to The Revelation.

When the service was over, I said a prayer and walked to my car. As I opened the door, I heard one of the workers say, “I never saw anything like that before and I’ve been putting in septic systems for twenty years.”

(No, the Old silly didn’t make this one up … credits and thanks go to jokesclean.com)

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I long for hump day, not because it’s the middle of the week, but actually because I hardly watch any t.v. all week long except for modern family and cougar town (and my m-f soaps hehe) I get excited for my goofy shows

AND … speaking of soaps, does ANYONE watch OLTL? I feel like I’m the only person my age that has been addicted  to soaps since I was like 7.

I’ve never liked Wednesdays. Not really sure why either, except that I’m tired on Wednesdays, more than the usual busy tiredness….and I’m more stressed on Wednesdays than any other day of the week. Its been like this for years, so I don’t know what to blame it on. For whatever reason, the most frustrating or tiring things happen on Wednesdays for me also. Today my 4-year-old daughter has come down with that nasty barfing virus our community has shared and passed around. She had climbed in bed with me because she’d had trouble sleeping this morning after my husband left for work. Then I heard that all too familiar sound that all moms recognize– that quiet whimper and throat rumble that alerts you to oncoming puke. Luckily, I sat up  just in time to not get spewed on. My pillow was not so fortunate. Poor Sofia! She looked at me apologetically and I assured her it is was alright and ran to get a trash can for a possible round two. Round two spew came after her nice warm bath….once again, that sad pale look of “mom, help me, here it comes” and I had time to get the trash can.

I’ve not felt all too great today either. But, I’m sipping ginger lemon tea and praying that this thing will pass me over. Sofia hasn’t hurled since round two and has even done some nibbling and kept it down, so maybe its a very short-lived bug. I’m still keeping her home from church tonight since she’s still got a low-grade fever. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people bring their children out into public, especially group settings when they’re sick or running fevers. My whole family ended up with a flu-like virus over the Christmas holidays due to some very rude mommies dragging their children to a group setting that I had to be involved in. I got sneezed on by one child as I was wiping greenish snot from his little nose. One little girl was there and running a fever…child could hardly stand up she was so miserable, but alas, the mom stuck around, keeping her child there for all of us reap the benefits of the obviously contagious virus. apparently her priorities were very much out of whack!  Ugh.

Anyway, back to my dislike of Wednesdays…I’m going to reinvent Wednesdays from now on. Its starts with me giving myself permission to not like this day of the week and to just plan on not planning much on this day but the very essentials of what I must do. Hey, I’m …not even going to make my bed today (can’t anyway, had to wash them since they were  puked on)….I’ll just take them out of the warm dryer and put them on the bed right before I collapse on them tonight…thankful that Wednesday is almost over and my favorite day of the week is coming – Thursday. Don’t ask me why I like Thursdays, I just do. I call it second wind day. Yep. Second wind day – the day I get over “hump day” and get my much-needed burst of initiative to finish out the week.

ladies, please pick up yr cookie snax and take a hump day lunch break with this text-link-heavy cornucopious smörgåsbord i’ve spent all morning preparing for you.

all right, to get the ball rolling, it is important to remember that there was a time when things made sense. my bff ana and i like to remember the smashing pumpkins like this, and i like to think you do, too:

IT MAKES YOU FEEL MORE . . . IT PUTS YOU IN A TRANCE

what kind of monster (smashing pumpkin) are you? while i’d like to be billy, i think i’m more of a james (who appears to be wielding a pitchfork here).

while i may have the mind of an engineer, my heart is most definitely that of a geologist. this explains my fond affections for sizeable structures and underground chambers:

FOR MY MONEY, THE MOST SPECTACULAR CAVE OF CRYSTALS DISCOVERED ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD

field trip, anyone?

this may be a crapshoot, but i’m willing to wager that most of us have spent the better portion of our lives and purses typologizing ourselves. visit the site here, and simply type in your name and the password ‘character’ and off you go. a psychiatrist figure will then ask you a number of questions about your personality before diagnosing you with a typeface:

EMOTIONAL, UNDERSTATED, PROGRESSIVE, DISCIPLINED

what type are you?

i’ve always been more of a river phoenix kind of person myself, that is until my cursory research led me to one of keanu reeves’ early stage roles in a

PSYCHO-SEXUAL BOY-MEETS-WEREWOLF MUSICAL THRILLER

vampire or werewolf? who has yr heart?

speaking of werewolves, this transition is just really obvious to me, and i think it will be to you, too:

MICHAEL MIS-EN-SCÈNE

does anyone else have a thing (you know, like, a thing for thongth) for self-portraits in mirrors? unfortunately, we still can’t see him naked.

and, you know, why not make it a werewolf hat-trick while we’re at it. if i had a car this is what i would do with it:

WE WENT TO AMOEBA RECORDS AND WE BOUGHT TWO CDS

what’s yr favourite misfits song?

not to be a debbie downer, but this makes me sads:

I WASH IT DOWN WITH POP . . . I WHO LOVED THE SPARKS

till adieu, adieu, and white doves, danny

if i told you this were safe for work, would you trustbelieve me?

Because Jyoseph got this song jammed all up in my head yesterday, here’s a little bit of Snow for your Wednesday. I didn’t realize Snow looked like such a nerd – those glasses are killing me!

Informer by Snow

A licky boom boom down y’all.

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/the-hal-sparks-hot-sexy-cam-show

Stephanie Miller (KGOE 1480 Eureka 6 AM – 9 AM Mon-Fri) live on the internet with Hal Sparks.  ”Hump Day with Hal Sparks”

http://www.stephaniemiller.com/

http://halsparks.com

http://www.stephaniemiller.com/