First, it’s Bioware, and to a lesser extent, EA. Bioware Mythic is actually the studio behind Warhammer Online and they’ve been given a Bioware label cause they work on RPGs. Bioware isn’t in good PR territory right now because of ME3, and the fact that’s Bioware is going to be tossed around a lot more than it’s Mythic. The fact that it’s EA can’t really be changed but it’s not gong to win anyone over; in fact it’s part of the problem as it brings me to my next point.

EA bought out Origin(the company, which for some reason they decided to call their online platform) and hasn’t done anything good with it. In fact whenever I see this brought up in discussion it’s some level of disgruntled/angry/remorse/generally not pleasant. So I have to wonder, why? Why does it seem like bringing this up in half hearted ways is going to be do anything productive? Whatever value the IP has is being eroded by two things: time(people who actually care about Ultima are going to become a smaller part of the gaming population as time goes on) and handling it poorly. This game could be generic fantasy rpg no.213 of 2012 and no one would approach this game with ire. But no, instead it’s almost like the purpose of the any of the IP from Origin you hold is just to get people talking about mediocre projects that no one would know about otherwise. But do people actually play these games? All the exposure in the world doesn’t do anything if it doesn’t get you sales, so I honestly want to know, does this actually work?

But wait, this completely bizarre approach to PR also applies to the people working on this game.  I’ll let Paul Barnett, the creative director at Bioware Mythic speak for himself on this one:

(Barnett)he compared it to Battleship Potemkin, a 1925 Soviet film that pioneered many techniques that nearly all movies have used since. “I mean, I’m aware that Battleship Potemkin defined modern cinema, but it’s not a great view. You watch it and go, ‘it’s black and white and a bit crap, I’d rather watch something else.’ And that’s basically the problem we’ve been faced with, is how to reimagine and reboot a classic and make it so that there’s a new generation that can have an Ultima.”

This is from a Kotaku article, link

This quote boggles the mind on so many levels. This whole “black and white and a bit crap” is utter nonsense that I hope is only a stereotype rather than actual truth. Go watch Battleship Potemkin, it’s short, it’s good. Moving back on topic, “ black and white and a bit crap” is not how you endear yourselves to fans of the original games, or show that you even value the source material. Also low production value generic action rpg no.213 of 2012 isn’t how you’re going to reboot a classic and provide a new generation with Ultima. This entire thing has left me perplexed, how does this approach being a good idea in the slightest? What is actually gained in the long run from this that’s positive?

And I mean, how am I suppose to serve people a slab of greasy meat when I, myself, would NEVER even touch the thing?
In my eyes, it’s a terrible health choice.  Many of the things ordered, poison.  I feel like I’m contributing to a murder conspiracy.  If you want to eat nasty food, fine, totally your choice, but as far as my values and beliefs go, I am not going to be the one giving it to you with a smile on my face.  There’s no way.

This what I think every time I apply for a “job”.

I do my best to keep myself and my kids out of the consumer lifestyle.  Why would I want to work for it?

-Texts from last night-

Most “religions” and “practices” really aren’t that different.  For the MOST part.  The ones I know enough about anyway.  Basically you should live your life well, live to help other people and not be too selfish, and they all talk about suffering.  Suffering in this life is inevitable.
Unless you are enlightened.

To not want is to be free.  It is the ultimate realization.  Imagine your life without any “wanting”.  You would be at peace.  If we could just accept things as they are.  Perhaps we wouldn’t want so much if we did.
If we could just accept life as it is and the people in it for who they are, maybe we wouldn’t have so much killing and stealing and mental instabilities.  We would all be at peace.  Now I get it.  I totally understand what that word really means now.

My mind has found a new wonder to explore.  Even in high school this subject fascinated me, I have tons of papers I had chosen “Buddhism” as the topic.
I’m in love with the ideas it presents me.

Living these past few years in this house has really changed me.  It’s allowed me to discover myself.  It’s been somewhat of a break from life.  A transition from childhood to chaos to adult.  My kids are now more independent, I know what I want, I know what I believe in.

Last night as I was coming home, I realized that I’m slightly terrified of what lies beyond.  A bit scared of leaving and moving on.  Even though we have the ability to do it anytime.  I was never ready to leave my childhood home but forced to.  And now, that I AM ready to leave, I keep stopping myself.

Anyway,
Here are some photos to commemorate;

My sixteen year old bad-ass self^

I never took that Canadian plate off.  Once I was in the turn lane at an intersection and these people in the turn lane across had the same plate.  They were waving and honking, so excited to see me!

July 4th of ’07.  I spent it in my room with my bunny, watching the neighbours fireworks.  Dreaming of where I would be when I turned eighteen.  Ho hum.

All I, or anyone, can, and always do, say is, “Fuck it, shit happens.  Might as well keep going.”
A bit depressing, I know.  But sometimes it’s a motivator.

Of course, at least I’ve learned much more on my life’s path with two children than without.  Confidence, appreciating fun time a LOT more, much more thrifty and creative, realizing that about 99.9% of the shit society says is just that, nothing but shit.

So yea, I’m glad I “screwed up my life” by choosing to have my children.  It sucks terribly sometimes, but I probably wouldn’t be trying to do the things I’m trying to do if I didn’t have them.

Of course, who’s to say where my life would be if I had never gotten pregnant.
But oh well.
Living everyday with the media screaming in my face how horrible teenage mothers are, documenting every instance where a young mother has made a common mistake (it’s usually the really poor places that involve ” child abuse”, NOT teenage moms.)
Oh, and the trashy reality shows.  And all the “statistics” they throw at us.  The religious “values”, the stereotyping, the having to prove yourself in every fucking disagreement because I’m pretty sure my wild hormones are tipping the line for how much testosterone a woman is supposed to have.
The delusional married moms thinking they have it better because they sit at home all day, wallowing in their own delusional thoughts, plastering on make-up and boob jobs.

Whatever.  I’m glad I know where I stand and I’m not some man’s (or anyone’s) piece of furniture.  I always told my mom when I was younger that I wanted kids, but never a husband.

Thanks mom, for telling me to never ever get married.
That may be what I’m most thankful for.

My kids showing me how fantastic life is.  Living in the moment and never staying in one place for too long.
Seriously, since I had my second little “bundle of joy” my mind changes faster than -insert insanely fast changing thing here-

GO.

Thrift store dress and shoes that were left in my car.  <3

Oh yea, I listen to The Cure.

Later!

-All the missed experiences.  I have watched too many of my friends miss out on life’s callings because of one reason: boyfriend/girlfriend (but being grounded never stopped us!).  It overwhelmingly seems to be more of a girl problem than a guy problem, at least from my own observations.  Although I have known guys who had “bitchy” girlfriends and would obey them once in a while.
The point is there are so many things out in life waiting for you!  You don’t need to be tied down, especially while you’re young.  So many of my female friends would just follow their boyfriends around, doing what he did, going where he went, living his life, instead of her own. (Or vice versa!)  First of all, that isn’t really a relationship.  Second of all, it’s the 2000′s!  Women now have a lot of power and independence, we don’t have to sit around and wait for some guy to figure out what he’s doing, we can go out and fulfill our life on our own.  Plus, we were probably far too young and immature to really hold a true relationship anyways.

I can recall so many happy times, where fun was all around me, or a long trip would be planned, I would mass text all of my friends and almost all of them were “with their boyfriends.”
“So? bring him too!” I’d say, but they wouldn’t, always holding on to his desires before they’re own.
“Oh, I don’t think he’d do that.”
“Oh, we’re with his friends.”
“Oh, he would think that’s dumb.”
“Oh, I’m just being a voluntary slave.”
“Oh, I really want to! But I love my boyfriend & whatever he says, I do.”

Then there’s always the experience of experiencing other people.

-All the unnecessary stress.  People put extreme stress on themselves while in a relationship.  Especially young people.  Cheating seemed to be quiet common.  And of course, what would you expect from a bunch of horny teenagers that were having premarital sex before they could fathom what exactly it was they were even doing besides that “it felt good” to do it.  But my golly, had I heard some real sob stories in my day.  It could be a beautiful day outside, it could be Saturday evening and the mall would be calling, I could have gotten a new car, and STILL these crazy friends of mine would go on and on about how their life sucks because they’re “lover” went and cheated on them or because they went off to do something else by themselves for once.
“OH! WHAT COULD I BE DOING WRONG?”
“OH LET ME CHECK MY PHONE AND MAKE SURE THEY DIDN’T CALL!”
“OH I JUST CAN’T HAVE FUN ANYMORE.”
“They’re always on my mind, I can’t stop thinking about them, I’m going to text just once more, etc etc.”
Party poopers.
Always letting some other dumb kid ruin our fun.  It’s like they were completely consumed in what this other person was doing and keeping track of their every move instead of what awesomeness we could have been doing.  How stressful and terribly annoying.  A relationship did not look like fun, at all, to me.

-All the missed opportunities.  It’s disgusting to watch extremely talented people put their dreams on hold, or stop pursuing them altogether because they become obsessed with some bird brain boy (or girl).
Instead of studying or painting or writing or whatever the passion was, they would be sitting around, trying to please their boyfriend/girlfriend, worrying about what they were doing, or what they were thinking.
It’s like all their energy went into making their “other” happy and not themselves.  But then again, maybe they weren’t that smart.  Talent does not equal smart.

-ALL THE WASTED TIME.

-All the emotional roller coasters.  We were already problematic kids in the midst of puberty, mix in some relationship drama, and you’ve got a huge wreck.

-Discovering yourself.  I believe that we live our lives as single persons in order to really discover ourselves.  We need that alone time.  We need that free time.  No constraints.  We need room to breathe and explore and become us before we can ever know what we want in another person.

Meanwhile, my vintage collection is growing…I have stacks of books (Ugh i couldn’t resist!) & a nice little folded up stack of dresses.  That I just adore.  But they’re mostly wrong sizes.  (I couldn’t resist!)  Normally I would post some rad pictures of me wearing them anyway, buttttt seeing as how my camera is destroyed…

Yep.  I took it all apart today, fixed it, but when it was all screwed back together it didn’t work again.  It’s the lens.  It’s moving now, but not focusing correctly.  I don’t know what to do.  I have my old Kodak 9 megapixel cam but it’s just not the same after my Sony : (  It’s a Sony Cybershot – 16.2 megapixels.  Loads of settings, hd video, 3d, panoramic, etc. etc.  Oh, I miss it!

I think what I’m going to do is sell both of these on ebay and go buy a new one… : (  I did get lots of use out of them.  Two years for my cybershot.  LOTS of years for my Kodak.

Although online biz is going SO SLOW.  I’m going to need a job.  Tomorrow.  Is Friday.  But I think I’ve said this before.  Job hunting.  AGAIN.  Oh, man.

Why is it so difficult?  I used to have no trouble with this.  All they’d do was look at my application, “Legal…good availability…HIRED.”

Oh well.  Maybe I’m supposed to be doing something else.
Oh, like writing my goals.  That was the point in starting this post.
Oh.

Goals this WEEK: (let’s see if this happens…)
-study for English Clep Test for sixty minutes each night.  FULLY not half ass-ly
-Inquire about the trapeze class down the road….
-Take the kids outside every evening (SO HOT out nowadays…)
-Make a list of all my “sell” inventory (preparing for winter…ha.)
-Pick the actual day and time to take photos of my stuff…

Simple.  Simple.  Do-able.

Sorry about the mass panic that was caused today when the blog was down for an hour. We (Yuoi and Soultree) were just as freaked out and worried as everyone else. We had no prior warning that the blog was going to be shut down, it just happened out of the blue.

But yeah, once we calmed down enough to think rationally we went into action mode and sorted that shit out.
The reason for wordpress shutting down the blog was because we linked to KShowNow’s adf.ly links for English subbed woojung cuts.
Wordpress expressly prohibits the useage of adf.ly links.

So to rectify the problem we will no longer be posting direct links to KShowNow adf.ly links on woojungislove. Instead we will be linking you guys to our posterus account where we will provide english subbed links for you.

English subbed WooJung cuts links can now be found HERE (also linked on the ENG SUB page)

We’ll always try our best to keep woojungislove open and running!

love, yuoi and soultree.

I just prefer real life.
Is that so wrong?

I log on to my “twitter” thing that I had reluctantly made so I could spam it with my ebay/etsy listings.  Sometimes I send random shit to it from my phone in a text message, but do I ever “reply” or “comment” or what the hell ever you’re supposed to do on twitter?  No way.  I don’t have time for that.
Tumblr either.  I tried that so I could post some cool photos I had taken.  They were “liked” and “reblogged” but I only gained a few “followers.”

I just don’t get it.

I deleted my facebook for a reason, recreated a new one, and have pretty much abandoned it.
I don’t see the point.  Well, my point was a pitiful attempt to promote my hand made goodies that I get so many comments from IRL (that’s “in real life!”) but I quickly came to the conclusion that it’s a waste of time and it’s pointless.  I will never put in the effort.

Blogs are cool.  I like to write random shit.  I like to read other people’s random shit.  But hardly do I do more.  And that’s fine with me.  I’ll favourite those I want to go back to (usually in my browser, not on my account.  It’s easier for me to go back that way) but I don’t like the online conversation.  Talking to someone I have no idea who they are.  My opinion really doesn’t matter to them anyway.  Or at least it shouldn’t.  I mean, unless I’m telling them how awesome I think their post is or whatever, which I do sometimes, people probably appreciate that.  Even if I am just some freak on the web.  I appreciate it too!

But if someone is being a bad mouthing hater, I just blow them off.  Who cares?  You’re somewhere else and I have no idea who you are or if you really even exist.
And that’s about it.

All these internet dating sites and long distance friendships really weird me out.  Like really.  Okay, what??  You must not have a life.  You must be really lonely.  Get outside!  You probably won’t make friends for weeks, but at least you aren’t sitting in the dark with your face lit up by the glow of the computer acting like a fucking creeper, talking to a fucking creeper about…well I have no idea what they talk about.  It’s too strange to me.
Now I can go out just about anywhere and start a nice conversation with someone.  I have no problems talking to “strangers” (unless they’re offering me candy and driving in a brown windowless van, you get the idea) out and about.
You know, if I’m at the good will and a lady asks me what I think of a shirt or if some guy starts to hit on me in the grocery line while my kids are sneaking candy onto the counter, no prob.

I was just not made for the online social clubs.
The online party.

Yea, not for me.

But that’s pretty well known, right?  You have to be able to love yourself before you can fully unleash your love on anyone else.

     I just know that my mornings start off with me.  I will turn on the television, give the kids chips, crackers, whatever finger food I find and take my good morning shower.  My kids should probably be more thankful than I am for that.

Already squeaky clean and smelling fresh, bless my past self, I gazed into the mirror for just a moment and then lifted myself with my arms over to the closed carpeted lid of the toilet seat.  Reaching into the cabinet above me I got out the cotton balls and band aid antiseptic given to me by a dear friend so long ago, after my first drunken bike crash where I scabbed up the same knee, only more below, so it didn’t hurt to walk or bend it, just when my clothes brushed against it.
Care was given to these current wounds when I took that shower but I had only used soap.  The cool liquid from the cotton ball soothed the soreness of my exposed tender under layer of skin.  As I sat there I thought of how shitty this might be today but how in a few days it will mainly just be scabs and remains of what was.  Again, hauling myself around with my arms and with my right leg as a crutch I sat down on the rug on the floor, in front of the cabinet that was below the sink.  Inside were some bandages that I hoped could aid me through today.  That is why they are called “band aids.”  I found some little ones to cover the two owies on my foot and some larger ones that might help my knee out.  But as it was, a band aid has never helped out anyone’s scraped up knees or elbows.
I then thought about the Advil that my room contained, I would still have to go to the kitchen for a cup of water.  Oh!  But wait, bless her soul, my previous self had left her peace tea on the dresser!  Right there was all I needed.  So I journeyed the whole three steps back into my room, the littlest one joining me before I shut the door.  As she adventured about and after I took an Advil, I rummaged through my dresser to find the perfect wear to cover all my booboos and hide any evidence of last night out of sight.  My purple zebra pants would stay as they where the perfect length and made of light material that would let in some fresh air and wouldn’t irritate my knee as much as other pants.  Today I would wear socks to cover my feet.  And lucky for me, (past me, bless my fucking soul)  I had picked up a lovely purple striped shirt from the thrift store a short time back.  The sleeves were of perfect length and the stripes blended my swollen arm.

This task was a lot longer than what I wrote, it was painful to keep changing shirts to figure out what would work.  But as my indecisiveness kept me in my room as the Advil kicked in and the initial pain started to fade, I arose ready to take on the day.

Fantastic.

I also happened to make some big sales on ebay today.   YEA!

And here are some gory photos.
This was my leg last night:

This was my knee this morning:

My foot: (the broken toe is the one right beside my big toe.  It’s been swollen for a while.)

My scrape at my arm bend:

My left upper arm that is swollen:

It was raining outside all day.  No need to worry.

I just spend a long time on the washroom waiting the class out. It’s not the most elegant plan but to avoid becoming completely depressed.

Every time I get home I just have no energy because all of it was spent on trying to stay awake in his class.

I do not know.

I took this cool colour test, http://www.colorwize.com/

It was actually pretty accurate.

My results;

But now I am tired and going to bed.

It seems like everyday just goes by, goes by.

I need something to do.

My hands just aren’t cutting it right now.

I’m going to have to conform for a while.  That’s right.  A real JOB.

Ho hum, welp now that I know myself a lot better than I used to, I should be alright.

We’ll see.  Tomorrow is Friday.

Tonight I will break out my sewing machine and attempt to redesign this shirt that I bought two of.  From the dollar store.

As of right now, I have a hat to make for a friend.  And have just got through listing some items on my etsy.

A really cool 70′s dress I found a while back:

And some crochet bangles;

The other night while I was lying down, all jittery from the coffee I had drank a few hours before, I started to think up all of these ideas and new things to try.

I started to look through old photos.  All the way from when I was fifteen until after I had my daughter, around age nineteen.  So much was sandwiched in between.  There was one photo of me at my baby shower, for my son, I was seventeen.  And I had never looked better.  Everything was smiles and laughter, someone put a huge blue bow from a gift on my head.  I remember exactly how I felt too.  Happy, so happy.

Seven months later and at about the end of that album was another photo of me.  Still seventeen.  I had let my hair grow out and had lost so much weight.  I was wearing a hoodie someone had accidentally given me (that is, they let me borrow it and forgot to ask for it back and I never saw them again.)  The hood was over my head, my long hair streaming down, a false septum piercing I was trying out, thinking about getting done, and lots of eyeliner.  I was really into make up then.  I had never been as skinny as I was then.  But I had also never been so lost.  There was too much going on.  My family had taken over my new life with my son.  At the baby shower I remember how I had felt and what I had planned; a really calm, pleasant life with my new baby boy.  So many good plans in store for us!
But here I was seven months later,  a chronic smoker (not cigs), heavy-ish drinker (for me), and had a new favourite bliss I was discovering and really getting into.  That was the most daring and careless I had ever been. (Okay, you can laugh now.)
You can tell just by holding those photos side by side,  I was not the same at all.  I should find them on my computer and put them up.  At least at both those times I still had my old house.  Now that’s gone too.

Okay, now I’m depressed.  I think I’m going to paint a picture.

I scanned this.  Idk what memory card this is on.

Sorato aka Yamato/Matt x Sora from Digimon Adventure. What were they thinking? How? Just… how did this happen?