I have googled this and none of the answers have worked for me. Please I want to really use these speakers 2 da max so it would be greatly appreciated if my problem could be solved by someone who is more tech savvy than myself!

I’m disgusted by the fact that all your products are Chinese.  I used to love Apple, but I can’t stand your company now.  You are traitors to America and our economy.  You employ 1 million Chinese and 30,000 Americans and are held up as some kind of ideal company.  Well, you are not.  You are an example of what’s wrong in this country.  I regret that I own some of your products, but I do my best not to buy any more.  If you were American, I would be gifting Apple and touting them to everyone.  Instead, I tell everyone how much I despise Apple and how they should never gift Apple or other electronics that are made offshore.  Hope you change your ways or go bankrupt soon!

Please add your comments to give this open letter some punch!

The cult of Apple stood there on the sidewalk.

The line of people swayed back and forth. They sounded like a bunch of nervous virgins. Was this new gadget going to pop their cherries?

I wondered at how some people got so much satisfaction out of their gadgets. I like gadgets, too, but, these were like battery-powered crucifixes clutched to the heart, batteries running out quickly while in paranoid minds a thousand incarnations of demonic Bill Gates’ danced. Clutching their totems of success, victors in the crusade against Microsoft, Apple-logoed sugar plumbs danced in their heads.

Who were these people?

I tried to imagine if each of them had a little paper cutout of Steve Jobs in their pocket somewhere. Perhaps over their heart.

I could hear them abandoning their ability to think en masse. They continued to rock back and forth. They took pictures of each other with their iPhones. They were there to buy new iPhones. Then they would take pictures with these new iPhones. Obviously, the new phones had better cameras.

Convinced that they were The Chosen Ones, they smiled at one another. The self-aggrandizing glory of their geekdom was like radiation. Sickening.

But maybe I’m just a bitter Microsoft person?

No. I use a tool for its utility. I have products from both companies. And others.

I’ve lost friends by pointing out my feelings on the cult of Apple. Yet I don’t miss them much. There’s something about their blind vision, the idolatry, the close identification with product so that product becomes an extension of self and self becomes a hoof beat in the mindless shuffling of the entire herd.

Or maybe lemmings are a better metaphor. Lemmings are rodents.

I remembered that I’d read in the Globe and Mail that Jobs had other people flush his shit.

“What a jerk …” was what I thought. What happens to you that makes you designate a flusher of your waste? Like a slave … What other demeaning acts would this person be asked to perform?

I suddenly had a vision of one of these shit-flushing slaves revolting and hurling Stevexcrement at the Great One.

I smiled.

Perhaps the 1984 Apple commercial could be redone with shit-flushing slaves hurling excrement at the Big Brother screen? Of course, exactly who is Big Brother these days? Hidden location-based tracking files in iPhones whisper softly.

Who do you have to think you are in order to demand that someone else flush your waste? I wondered at this man who built a cult out of telling people they were different. That they thought different …

The whole time he was teaching them to think exactly the same.

He designed closed systems. He wanted to put fences around people, around these “rebels” who thought different. He wanted them to buy music from him only. He wanted his 30 per cent cut through apps. He wanted to create perfect technology (in his mind, at least), and in order to do that it was okay to be savage toward other people. Excessively hard. Ruthless.

Everyone forgave him for not being a very nice guy.

When I learned he wasn’t that interested in charity, I felt really dismayed.

While Bill Gates, who Appluddhists had long ago named as the anti-Christ bent on taking over the world, gives millions and millions away, Jobs didn’t think it important. He thought different. While  Warren Buffett advocates for giving money away, and is one of the most enormous of philanthropists because of the dollar value of his giving, Jobs thought different.

I’m sorry but all the winking iPhones in the world pale before the feat of raising or giving hundreds of millions of dollars to charity. Didn’t the Spiderman comics teach us that with great power comes great responsibility? Wasn’t that responsibility to do something for the greater common good?

I’d never really been a believer in the Great Jobs godhead. Even though the first computer I can ever remember using was a Mac.

The more I learned about the great Apple leader, the less I liked him.

He created this hybrid group of lemmings who ran forward to give themselves over to the machine. Who were now permanently tethered to their phone company and paid out large in order to gain access to the godhead with the little apple on it.

I could understand the relentless riding of coattails. I was sure that thousands of the cult were jumping on the gravy train. They knew a lot of money was being made. They wanted a piece of the action in some way, shape or form. Why not ride this wave of iEverything and see if you can market yourself with it along the way. There seem to be a lot of saps downloading apps. But really, that one that makes the farting sounds doesn’t seem to have contributed that much to the betterment of this world we live in.

I could be wrong.

Apple, for a long time, has seemed a lot more like a marketing company than a technology company. The reason I am so unwilling to forgive them for this is because of their history of marketing and branding.

If you start marketing yourself as David, you better be prepared to take some flack when you become Goliath (or maybe in this case, Big Brother.) If you’re a company built on ruthlessness when it comes to your own employees, your outsourced parts and assembly machines, then you’d better be prepared to face some criticism.

While I continued to watch the geeks on the street in line spending their time as if they had more minutes allocated to them than everyone else, I tried to imagine the numbers of iPods, iPhones and iPads filling up landfills the world over. I saw people throwing themselves to their deaths so the machine, the closed system could continue to grow.

I heard the geeks laugh like virgins again. Someone else had achieved iOrgasm.

I shuddered.

Then turned and walked away.

The company is working on technology that will automatically disable a person’s iPhone camera when it is used to film a live event.

Apple filed a patent application for the software 18 months ago, according to information obtained by The Times (behind paywall).

The software could stop ticket-holders to the Big Day Out, State of Origin and the NRL and AFL grand finals filming the occasion on their iPhone.

(Source)

But what annoys me more is seeing iPhone’s every where.

An Apple iPhone in someone's meticulously manicured hand, yesterday.

Literally every where. They seem to surround me when I’m in public.

However, the biggest part of the reason I dislike them is because I have had an insight into the minds of those who flog this shit to you, the obscenely gadget obsessed, evangelically Apple loving public.

Once, a year or so ago, I had an interview to work in the Apple store. Back then, I had my reservations about Apple, and I must admit I already held something of a grudge against them, but any feelings I had towards them were soon amplified at the end of this interview.

Let me explain.

This was a group interview. You were advised to dress “casual” for the interview. Just come in, dress how YOU dress, be how YOU want to be. If you have never been in the Glasgow store it seems rather cool at first, with a sexy purpose built mezzanine where the “Apple Geniuses” work. The interview it’s self took place after the store had closed.

What a lovely view from the mezzanine.

Upon our arrival we were all ushered in – some of the applicants already brimming with Apple fuelled pride – with a round of a applause.

Just like this.

My initial reaction was “What. The. Fuck.” Who the fuck gives potential employees a round of applause for just simply arriving? Apparently Apple do. Apparently we were very lucky to have “made it this far”. This far? To a group interview? Christ. They made it seem like you’d graduated to the big boys school or something.

We took our seats and were given a short induction film about Apple. These guys really do like applause. What followed in the video were statistics. Statistics about the number of Apple stores world wide and the number of products sold alongside images of jubilant Apple fan boys rejoicing, jumping in joy, applauding one another as they got their hands on the latest shiny Apple love toy. Slapping each other on the back in as orgasmic scenes of joy were met with smug, self satisfied smiles by fellow potential employees.

I knew I’d made a wrong choice by applying, but times were hard, sometimes we all have to, as they say in philosophy, “bite a bullet”. As I seen the conceited grins on not only these wanna be Apple retail store employees, but from the current Apple management in this store, I started to get the creeping feeling that I was in some kind of bizarre Stepford Wives inspired Appleland, with interviewees faces contorted into mannequin-esque expressions of glee. It made me want to hurt myself.

Or at least that immaculately presented, floppy haired, puffed-up emo looking arsehole of a manager.

The now compulsory “round of applause” came after this video as I set dough eyed and slack jawed at what I was experiencing.

Some spiel about the “AWESOMENESS OF THE APPLE BRAND” (or some other such bollocks) followed, along with some explanation about what the different roles in the store are. I wish I could remember, but it basically amounted to people sell, people who talk to customers about products and people who act as techs.

None of these roles could qualify as “genius”.

Geniuses need not apply.

After that, we had to take part in some role playing; y’know the usual customer focused shite. We were given cards to read from and assigned a partner, then had to figure out how one would solve the problem for the customer that was written down on the card. We then performed this in front of everyone else. Shakespearian theatre it was not.

But it was when we had finished this exercise that I knew I was in the wrong company.

We had to get up in front of everyone and explain to everyone why Apple should pick you for the job. Now, I don’t own an Mac. I have an iPod Nano, but that’s about it. I don’t even use it any more. So right out of the gates I knew I was going to struggle coming up with a reason as to why they should employ me other than “I like money so give me the job”.

Turns out everyone there loved Macs to a staggering, almost religious degree.

People like this. Look, LOOK. THEY'RE APPLAUDING THEIR CONSUMER VICTORY.

Idiots who got up and said stuff like “Oh yeah, I love Apple because of the way the brand makes me feel” or “Apple is great because I love it’s aethetics and the way looks, and the way it makes me look.” and things like “You should employ me because I’ve always owned Macs and Apple products. I really like the way it makes my friend see me.”

People actually said this. I shit you not.

What’s worse it that the staff fucking lapped it up. You see, they actually believed that owning Apple products made you a better person, that you were making an exclusive lifestyle choice.

YEAH THEY DID

Brainwashed by aesthetically pleasing consumer greed (mmmm, aesthetics.)

Ideally, I’d like to live a world where people do not define themselves through brands. I’d love to live in a place where people didn’t feel like a huge multi-national corporation was the way they identified with like minded people and to others in the world. I know not all Apple users are like this, but a lot of these guys were. Never before have I seen so many people blindly identify consumer allegiance with a faceless and shadowy corporation with such pride and zeal.

When I was in secondary school, you sort of lived in a compressed version of consumer society. There you tended to get people who always had to have the latest Nike trainers, or had all the designer brands and this some how elevated their social status in the playground. It seems like these people had this mentality times a million.

Did they really love Apple because of it made them feel? The conviction on their face was scary, as if they actually believed this shit.

So when it came my turn to talk, what did I say?

“Well, I don’t actually own a Mac because a lot of my friends hate them, and would probably kill me *laughs as if being sarcastic* but I own an iPod and I really like the ‘working out the box functionality’ of Apple products (which I do). I also worked in both IT and retail before blah blah”.

Yeah, I blew it.

Clearly I didn’t get the job. I’m relieved about that. I probably wouldn’t have taken it even if I were offered it because I’d seen what this “brand” had done to people. Capitalism at its finest. It was wholly disgusting.

I was going to link to the crApple store blog but apparently it was removed late last year. A shame, really, cause it was hilarious and really exposed the amount of corporate backwards thinking bullshit that goes on internally in Apple retail.

Oh well, I leave you with my own experiences and this.

FUCK YOU STEVE JOBS. FUCK YOU.

P.S. FYI – Whapping your iPad out in public makes you look like a massive cock. You might as well just take your dick out and piss all over the place.

Ok, seriously Apple?  You’re really going ahead and doing this?

Apple is rumoured to announce the highly anticipated iPad 2 on February 9, 2011.  Does this date sound familiar?  Of course it does.  It’s the date HP/Palm is announcing their version of webOS products.  This all sounds eerily similar to when the Palm Pre was about to launch, a couple of days before, Apple announced the iPhone 3GS. 

Steve Jobs, you can go suck it.

[via BoyGeniusReport]

This is a blog written and created by an outstanding optimist who has the general tendencies of a pessimist. Hi. It’s nice to meet you. I’ve been meaning to write faithfully for a while, but my general hatred of blogs hindered my progress. Eventually I realized that nobody was going to ask me to write articles on my hatred of Korean music and black people (not anybody good, anyways), so I had an epiphany: I’d do it myself. Using the Internet. It was a horrible idea, but then again cocaine is a hell of a drug, so why not?

    I had a hard time deciding what to call it. I wanted something snappy, something smart, something unbelievably douche-y, but it seems that all the names I wanted were taken by hipsters and liberal art majors. Let’s just say I spent three days watching Jeopardy reruns, screaming ‘What is public nudity’ over and over again. It was horrible—I didn’t get the answer right once. 

    Eventually I just started writing this, and I just got into it. I like words, and they seem to have a rather friendly relationship with me, save for when they use their horrible powers to make me write love letters to the cast of The Nanny. Maybe one day I’ll post one of them. I’m especially proud of the one I wrote to the old lady who played Grandma Yetta, who is, somehow, still alive. It was a fantastic thing, filled with adverbs and interjections. At some point I referred to her as ‘Mom’, which is, generally, a weird thing to call the old lady who played a senile person from a 90s sitcom, but I’ve done worse things.

    Now, note: If I seem to have a hard time staying on a subject, or if I’m typing kind of weirdly, it’s because of my MP3. Unlike most modern folks, including my parents, I do not have an iPhone or iPod. I don’t even have a Shuffle. I have a little bright red Sony Walkman that blasts Broadway musicals, British indie rock, and bland 80s miserablism 18 hours a day. I can’t seem to shut it off, I love it so much, so eventually it just runs out of energy, beeping pathetically before the sound of Sergio Mendes and Brazil ‘66 quietly fades away. To be fair, I can actually afford a nicer music player, but I’m too much of a cheapskate to actually splurge for an iPod—besides, I refuse to buy anything that would support Steve Jobs’ goal of world domination. But yeah, if ever I move from my intense hatred of Emily Post to how much skinnier male hipsters are than me (So much skinnier, the bastards), it’s my Walkman’s fault. Music ruins my unsteady focus more than the flu which, incidentally, I also have. Joy.

     But okay, here’s the deal: As a functioning Sagittarius, I have a habit of being really, really fickle. Like a few weeks ago, for example, I was so deeply in love with The Smiths that I ran around Borders, telling random people how they were the most underrated band ever formed. I would then give them a 1 minute sample of all the songs I knew in a perfect Morrissey voice, even lifting my leg, pretending to strum along and voice chant to the guitar solos. On the down side, I’m no longer allowed within 200 feet of that store. On the other hand, I met a ton of super nice security guards that week, so I guess you gotta take the good with the bad.

     Anyways, I’m not into The Smiths this week. I don’t really know what I’m into right now, I mean, I’m usually obsessed with something by now. Maybe I’m just too busy—I’ve got a winter concert coming up, and, I mean, I help teach 5^th graders, so really. But if I really get into something again, I’ll be sure to write about it up here. I mean, it’s not like anybody’ll read my jizz, right? Like, c’mon.   

So, uh, this is my rant for the day. I guess a headache, the sniffles, and an eclectic range of music really know how to make me write. Well, all right. I gotta get a tea refill. Toodle Lou, whoever you are.

The Snuggie! Now featuring novelty dances from 15 years ago!

There’s one thing I’m fairly certain of in life: If I mastered a Fushigi, my friends would not be amazed, mystified or impressed. They’d call me a freaking dork.

Do 45 year old women get mad at the CougarLife commercial because all the girls in it are like, 28 years old?

I had a 12 hour shift on Saturday, which after a few phone calls turned into a 10 hour shift. That was a long day, especially with nobody really to talk to.

Then, on Monday I met with the boys to buy the Blues tickets for Saturday. It looked like we all had a chance to meet up but Adz can’t make it, but I am determined before these 4 weeks are up we all have to meet up and do something! I’m going to miss all of them, and it is slowly sinking in that I’m not seeing them on a daily basis anymore which sucks.

This week, Daria and I have been relaxing to the max and we have played a fair bit of Video Games. I ordered Viva Pinata Pre-Owned from Game which cost £14.99. Only a few hours later did I remember Games on Demand. Surely enough it was on there, 4gb to download for the same price, so I cancelled the order with game and waited an hour or so for it to download. Needless to say I secretly love it! It is such a fun game, but I haven’t quite figured (tried) to do the co-op mode yet.

Playing so many games this week has made me realise how badly I need a new game, which is partly the reason for getting Viva Pinata. Kane and Lynch is released tomorrow, and I really didn’t feel comfortable in ordering it after the mediocre demo. I added it to my Boomerang rental list, but I wasn’t expecting anything. In fact I had completely forgot about it. This morning I received an email that it has been sent to me! Sweet!

Anyway, on Monday Adam gave us a link to a Youtube video in which he ate 7 Weetabix, to beat his uncles 6. I knew I could better his 7, so I said I would try for 8 the day after. The next morning I woke up nice and early so I was in a breakfasty mood, and placed 8 Weetabix into the bowl whilst recording on Darias Mac. I didn’t want to use my Laptop because the battery is fubarred and didn’t trust it not to Blue Screen or something.

Anyway, Daria’s Mac was positioned to video record me eating 8 Weetabix, and it took me roughly 12 minutes. When I pressed stop, Daria went to watch it again and the video was 2 minutes long. For some stupid reason, when the screen saver is triggered (in turns black) the video stops recording. BUT, Photo Booth (Some piece of shit software Apple put on their Piece of shit hardware) says it is still recording. I was really disappointed, because there is no way they will believe that I actually ate 8 Weetabix. The video stops just after I poured the milk into the bowl. I am tempted to try again tomorrow, but go for 9.

Today, I had to travel all the way to Kingsheath on the 50 bus to work on some computers Andrew has here. They are really slow, run windows XP and have 512mb Ram and the processor in a kitchen blender is undoubtedly better than this. He still thinks he can make the system faster than what it is (Shit slow). So, I have disabled about 15 start up programs, used CCleaner and I’m now defragging. I know for a fact this will not improve anything. He just needs a completely new computer in my opinion.