1. She used heart shaped pasties in her Ungaro Paris Fashion Week collection

2. Ali Lohan, who wore this bikini at the ripe-old age of 13, is her  little sister.

3. She made this commercial

4. She makes awesome music videos like “Over”

5. Can you say, “Jingle Bell Rock”?

Click here to listen to the show.

On tonight’s show:

- The Road (2009)

- Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call New Orleans (2009)

- Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009)

- Gimme Shelter (1970) The Criterion Collection Blu-Ray

- I Know Who Killed Me (2007)

- Star Wars (1977)

- Interesting Death of the Week with B.K.: Jan Leighton – Man of 3,000 Faces

- Tonight’s Score: Los Straitjackets  Holiday Sampler and Tony Crombie’s score for The Man From Interpol

Dear Lindsay,

Word on the street is that they’re trying to make you go to rehab and you say no, no, no. While Amy Winehouse turned that jam into a monster hit, do you really want it to be the theme song to your E! True Hollywood Story? I have to be brutally honest with you, Linds; you’re not looking good. We all see that damaged, over-processed hair and all that chain smoking as if your life depends on it.

Remember when you used to look like this? Now, you’ll be lucky if you don’t crack that orange, leathery face of yours.

And here’s an FYI: just because pills are “prescribed” doesn’t mean you can down them like Tic-Tacs. Have we learned nothing from the loss of Heath Ledger last year? Granted Heath was a sexier blond than you will ever strive to be, you don’t have to drown your sorrows in a water bottle filled with vodka. Yes, we’ve caught on to you.

So what’s next for you, LiLo? We are all waiting with bated breath. Do you honestly want to say you hit your peak as a Mean Girl? That your last stab at acting not only didn’t make it to theaters, but went straight to ABC Family!?

Can’t you see that you’ve hit rock bottom? I thought it was blatantly obvious when you accepted the role in I Know Who Killed Me. Perhaps you were trying to relive the twin glory that you received from The Parent Trap, but playing the part of a strip club amputee and her equally mutilated twin sister was not your finest hour. And from I’ve seen of your pole-dancing skills, I’d urge you not to quit your day job. Oh wait – you’ve already done that.

Your father has told us that you’re not acting right now because you can’t. “Because the girl with all the talent is hidden and buried deep inside this fungus that’s grown because of the prescription drugs.” Yeah, that’s right. You heard the man. He’s telling the world you’ve got fungus. Herpes we expected, but fungus?  Are you going to let him get away with that or are you gonna put down the pills, dust off those leggings and show the world what you’ve got?

I won’t lie to you Lindsay; sometimes I too see the beauty in dying young like Marilyn Monroe. Who doesn’t want to be glamorous, even in death? But I think you’re taking it a little too far. If you won’t go back to rehab for me, and you won’t do it for your dad, at least do it for Samantha.

She would be lost and fame-less without you.

Thanks, bitch.

Sincerely,
Brittany
(On behalf of all of the Mean Girls fans out there.)

I’ve always loved watching notoriously bad films but never really found the time or, well, a valid reason to actually sit down and watch them. But now, with no college on Wednesdays and a group of comrades willing to suffer with me, I can finally get around to watching some of the tackiest, most ludicrous and dire hours of my life. I’m hoping that most of them will fall into the ’so bad it’s good’ category.

Which is certainly true of my first selection for this probably semi-regular column.

The film: I Know Who Killed Me

The plot (or lack thereof) in a nutshell: Young, bright and promising student Aubrey is abducted and tortured by a serial killer. She is found days later in a roadside ditch but wakes up, missing various limbs, with no memory of her previous life. She claims to be Dakota Moss, a character Aubrey created in an English assignment before she was abducted.

What’s it like? I kind of feel sorry for Lindsay Lohan…

Ever since she rose to fame in 2004’s Mean Girls, she hasn’t really done anything notable, or rather anything good, since. Her personal life and her career have taken a nosedive, with the only thing keeping her in the public eye her trainwreck lifestyle.

I’m sure she couldn’t have read the script for I Know Who Killed Me and expected a career resurrection, but on the surface you might think that it could have at least done well at the box office. It claims to be a horror, it’s certainly short on scares. Instead, it beefs up the gore factor and we are subjected to unnecessary, disgusting and unintentionally hilarious scenes of Lohan trying to solve the problem of reattaching her finger, which decayed and fell off while she was in the shower.

If I’ve lost you already, I don’t blame you. Lohan is completely wooden here, either overacting or phoning it in, depending on the scene. I am guessing that she took the role as an excuse to play ‘polar opposite’ characters Aubrey and Dakota, one a student writer and the other a pole dancer with a ‘crack whore’ for a mother. Almost like an adult version of The Parent Trap. With an amputee stripper.

The plot is somewhat hard to follow, since scenes you might have thought would have helped the plot along were never filmed, and those that were are shown in almost random order. Flashbacks contribute little to the story and only serve to confuse.

Oh, and lonelygirl15 also features as one of Aubrey’s friends, but she and another one of the friend characters are done away with early in the film and have no bearing on the plot. Time that could have been spent either mentioning their absence or showing them visiting their friend who has been through hell and back is ditched instead for an amputee sex scene and copious amounts of pole dancing.

Despite the valiant attempts of the film’s director and cinematographer to at least make it visually appealing, the ridiculous plot and script draw away from it. My interest was momentarily piqued by the decision to colour code Aubrey and Dakota, with Aubrey always bathed in blue and Dakota in red, but this becomes old and overused way too early in the film.

The mystery becomes far too convoluted by the end of the film to either surprise or satisfy. We’re given no reason for the serial killers crimes, and the choice of the killer’s identity is a bit obvious and shit.

Oh and the title makes absolutely no sense and is completely redundant, because at no point does anyone played by Lohan get killed. Although when the mystery is solved Dakota does say “I know who killed me.” It doesn’t make sense in that context either.

So bad it’s good? If there’s one thing this film has going for it, it’s that it is perfect material for a cult following. You can’t help but laugh when Dakota has to plug in her prosthetic leg to charge every night. The over-long pole dance scenes have a few funny moments too, such as when Dakota takes a cigarette from a customer’s mouth, smokes it, rubs it on her thigh and hands it back. He sniffs it. Tack at its height. But mildly enjoyable tack. (And do note that one of the DVD extras is an ‘Extended Pole Dance Sequence’ in case you didn’t have enough in the film itself.) Definitely so bad it’s good.

Don’t just take my word for it!
The comments of my fellow sufferers

• Olivia – “It was basically just a series of bizarre unrelated scenes which make me question why we were actually watching this film, but then they showed another 5 minute long pole dancing clip and it was all worth it.”
• Tara – “What can I say? I LOVED IT. The existentialism used was amazing. A real out of body experience one might say. The way they used the defining colours to describe Aubrey and her alter ego/twin Dakota was beautifully portrayed. For example, in the strip club where Dakota always had red clothes on, whereas Aubrey was always given blue roses or quite often wore the colour blue. The plot was nicely structured with a fascinating riddle at its centre. This truly is one of those films I’ll be taking to my grave with me. Massive props to the director.”
• Orla - “Em, a movie, which you can only assume was directed by a 9 year old, fascinated by the colours blue and red. I Know Who Killed Me is an awful movie, with an awful cast and a cringeful script. Never again.”
  
• Maggie -

Standout quotes:

• “Do I look like I’m in a fucking coma?”
• “People get cut. That’s life.”
• “How the fuck would you feel? Fingers, leg, hand – GONE!”

Curious? View the trailer…

I’ve always loved watching notoriously bad films but never really found the time or, well, a valid reason to actually sit down and watch them. But now, with no college on Wednesdays and a group of comrades willing to suffer with me, I can finally get around to watching some of the tackiest, most ludicrous and dire hours of my life. I’m hoping that most of them will fall into the ’so bad it’s good’ category.

[CONTINUES OVER AT MAKE AND DEUX]

Nu stiu daca spuneam post-ul anterior ca voi reveni cu detalii despre filmele pe care le-am vazut in weekend, dar uite ca o fac. Am terminat comediile. Cele bune le-am vazut la cinema (ma refer la cele noi) iar din cele din anii trecuti nu cred ca a mai ramas vreuna care sa merite 2 ore pierdute in fata laptopului.
Vineri seara am vazut ‘I know who killed me’, un film care nu m-a lasat sa adorm pana cand nu am vazut finalul, indiferent de cat imi era de somn. A fost dragut… merita vazut, daca nu ati facut-o din 2007 si pana acum.

Sambata seara am vazut tot un thriller: The number 23. Cred ca e primul film cu Jim Carrey pe care il vad si care nu este comedie. Cat de obsedati sunteti voi de numere? 7, 13, 23, 666… Intrebati-va inainte si dupa ce vedeti filmul. Din nou, daca nu l-ati vazut din 2007 si pana acum.

Ultimul care merita mentionat este Perfect Stranger, a carui premiera a fost in acelasi an. Dupa cum citisem, intr-adevar, nu poti ghici finalul. Merita vazut!

Lindsay Lohan

Un cambriolage a eu lieu dimanche à la résidence de l’actrice américaine Lindsay Lohan, alors qu’elle était sortie avec sa petite soeur Ali. Les voleurs ont emporté plusieurs biens personnels de la jeune femme.

La résidence, qui se trouve à Los Angeles dans le quartier de Hollywood Hills, est équipée de caméras de surveillance dont les enregistrements ont été remis à la police.

Agée de 23 ans, Lindsay Lohan a notamment joué dans “I Know Who Killed Me”  et “Mean Girls” mais elle s’est surtout illustrée dans les médias à scandale ces dernières années.

I Know Who Killed Me, was mostly forgotten about when it hit theatres in the summer of 2007. That summer I was doing an internship and wasn’t watching a lot of TV so when I went to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix I was surprised to see another movie playing staring Lindsay Lohan that I had never heard about. Then the very next week when I went to the movies it was gone and I remember not hearing anything about it ever again. It did win quite a few Razzie awards, two specifically for both of Lohan’s characters she plays and was generally considered the worst movie of the year.

Now I bought this movie before I had seen it because it was cheaper than renting it and will tell you right now I have seen this movie three times. I say that just to let you know that I did actually sit through the whole thing enough to get a feel for it.

So if you happen to want to see this movie unspoiled you might want to stop reading but honestly it isn’t worth watching so don’t worry. The main plot of the movie is that Lohan was kidnapped after a football game and went missing for a few days. She turns up on the side of the road with her hand cut off and her leg so mangled that it has to be cut off as well. When she finally comes to she has some short term memory loss and doesn’t recognize her parents and claims to be another person entirely. This is when the movie kind of takes a turn and really becomes more about how every one thinks shes loosing her shit and more about her memories than the whole killer situation. So Lohan decides that the girl they think she is, is in actually trouble and has to find her on her own since no one believes she another person. Skip to big scene of her confronting her killer who was her piano teacher and the last scene you find out she was telling the truth and had a secret twin all along. After a struggle she kills the teacher and saves her twin in the nick of time, all is well, roll credits.

That being said this is easily a bad movie. First the killer is pretty easy to identify during the first 10 minutes of the movie. I am usually the one that doesn’t catch on to the clues given to me during a mystery movie but I Know Who Killed Me really doesn’t try in that field at all. This leaves you feeling that Lindsay Lohan’s character is just really stupid the whole movie. Now the whole movie revolves around her trying to convince every one that she isn’t the girl they think went missing. During this process you really start to get mad at her and think that shes lying or for some reason her memory was messed up during the attack. So when you finally find out she was telling the truth the whole time you don’t feel like it is a twist as much as you are angry that that is the direction they decided to go. Furthermore her being two different people turns the movie from plausible to ridiculous. You are suppose to believe that the “twin esp” (that one twin can think/feel what the other is feeling/thinking) is so strong that her arm and leg fall off because her twin is being tortured.

The bottom Line

The movie is bad but it really isn’t the worst movie and certainly not the worst horror movie. If you enjoyed Final Destination, Jeepers Creepers, or House of Wax, than really you might actually like I Know Who Killed Me. I think the reason it got such bad flack was that people were waiting for Lohan to make a flop. Don’t get me wrong she fucked up royally by getting  a DUI the week before it came out so she couldn’t actually do any press for it. Really that is the reason to movie tanked so hard, the content is really just sub average not horrible. If you like bad horror movies you might want to try it out and on the plus side the soundtrack for it was actually really good.

Is anyone else stoked to see that ABC Family Movie, Labor Pains, or just me? It’s Lindsay Lohans first lead role after her unsuccessful thriller “I Know Who Killed Me.” I don’t think I can miss LiLo trying to make everybody believe she’s preggers…Check out the trailer below.

Well, if this internet commenter’s supposed spoiler is to be revealed, lil’ oprhan Esther’s secret is out of the bag, and it’s even more batshit insane than I could’ve ever anticipated.  I won’t explicitly discuss the details, but I’ll say this: It’s honestly such an impressively thought-out, completely out-of-nowhere sort of twist that I believe it.  And want to see this movie immediately so I can confirm its validity.  Not since the phrase “non-religious identical twin stigmata” has an ending scaled such heights of so-bad-it’s-brilliant absurdity.   Seriously, y’all, it’s so damn trashtastically awful that it’s pretty much seals the deal: Orphan is destined for of camp/cult/bad horror movie greatness.  

On one hand, if it’s true, I’ll be terribly disappointed to not have such a wonderfully gonzo revelation dropped in my lap in the final moments of the film.  But on the other hand:

No, poster, obviously the interwebs cannot keep a secret.  In the age of the internet, nobody can keep their trap shut to save their damn life, and it’s a rather brilliant move on the part of Orphan’s marketing campaign to sell a film all around a climactic narrative reveal in a time where spoilers are all but anticipated.  When you think about it, it’s a clever spin on an old advertising tradition.

The American trailer for Clouzot’s Diabolique begged audiences to not reveal the ending, and Hitchcock himself was so determined to keep the surprises in Psycho a secret that he notoriously forbid audiences into the theater after the film began.  These movies touted their secrets like a carrot on a string, but in the internet era we cut the carrot loose and throw it to the hungry masses.  Had the ad campaign behind Orphan really wanted it to stay a secret, they would’ve never acknowledged it in the first place; instead, they seem to view any buzz, including spoiler buzz, as good buzz.  And they’re right.

True or not true, the “spoiled” ending linked above will only stoke the flames of curiosity surrounding the film.  Even if this twist is true, it’s so positively outlandish that you pull a Meryl Streep, have your doubts to its validity, and then plunk down 12 bucks just to be certain.  That the rest of the film looks to be a hysterics-laden, garishly over-the-top Bad-Seed-esque horror film was always reason enough to see Orphan.  But it’s the ending (if it is the ending), in all its tawdry Gothic perversity, makes this film a bona fide must-see.  

And, should anybody pull a Sister Aloysius on me about how it’s going to be a shitshow of undeniable greatness, I need only remind you that Orphan, like I Know Who Killed Me two years prior, is being released on the last weekend of July.  Awesomely-bad-horror-movie lightning, y’all: It’s does strike twice.

As a fan of celebrity in todays society, however sad it is to admit, im guilty to admit that i ‘follow’ these celebritys and adore their films, weightloss storys and dramatic breakdowns on and off screen. Lindsey lohan is definatly amongst one of the western worlds biggest names in hollywood, winning her way into our hearts with parent trap, and growning up with her in disney feel good film freaky friday, to becoming a role model in mean girls, herbie, the list goes on. Her personal life has also captured our entertainment begging selfs, with drug taking, alcohol binging, dramatic weightloss, and rehab, not to mention her dating female DJ samantha Ronson. Her family having a reality show on MTV ‘Living Lohan’ is just the tip of the iceburg. Lohan had become a house hold name, a family favorite and a teen boys fantasy.

You would imagine that place her in a film where she plays dual roles, demonstrating in a way both of her on screen and off screen personalitys, as a stripper, with intense scenes. dark humor and glamour, split with the role of a good collage girl, hrow in some promise of gore, amputation and a wierd blue killer, a massive twist at the end and clever editing, artistic colour editing and much more, sounds like a hit right?

Well i thought so, it had everything you could want from a film, it was unpredicable gory and sexy, all at the same time. It wasnt untill i was telling friends about how fantastic it is without spoiling the end, when they rolled their eyes, said they have seen it and that it was ‘the worst film theyve seen in their lifes’.

This was not the reation i was expecting at all, although the fact that a new film was £3 in HMV  in the first place should have suggested that the audience reaction wasnt so enthusiastic about this film as me.

Thinking about it,  there hadnt really been any promotion of this film, however i thought that this was because it was so dark, still, 2007 was a big year for Lohan, and this would have been all over the news, or so i thought… it turned out that lohan had been arrested at the time of the films release so wasnt around for its promotion this surely would have sparked media attention thou being in the headlines?

After reading blogs of un happy audience feedback, with un nerving quotes such as ‘the whole audience was laughing at the poor acting’. and looking at the figures the film made, i was in dis belief, it seems that i am possibly the only person that actually credited this film.

It is possible that having it in the bargain bin so soon, and no publisity for the film isnt the best way to sell it, but surely some of the reviews i have read are being harsh?

Ifound it captivating, for once it was a story that surprised me, the music and glamourous scenes, the horrificly graphic scenes, the acting was not at all awful like has been said,

It was refreshing to have an artistic film with twists and controversy, and myth.

Sometimes the selective colouring with the blue rose etc was a bit too much, and could have been more sinister being a little less obvious, but i loved it anyway

let me know what you thought of the film? why is it so awful?/ do you agree with me that its not?

Suzi xoxo

Worst movie ever created… I can’t believe I watched that horrendous garbage last night. Was I even paying attention? I just thought it was cool that her hand and leg were melted off by acid or whatever the heck that stuff was and she wakes up in the hospital with stumps.

Then I woke up and realized that Lindsay Lohan still had her hand and leg in real life.

What the?

Oh, and this guy who plays her dad in the movie and is also on Desperate Housewives is the most annoying person on Earth. Call the Earth and ask… it’s true.

Where is Lindsay now?

Huh?

Where am I?

Lindsay Lohan, who up until recently has been widely perceived as dead, appears to be returning to “acting.” I think we all remember “I Know Who Killed Me,” the 2007 flop that got a whopping 8% from Rotton Tomatoes. And by “remember” I don’t mean remember watching, since I am assuming you all saw the trailer and gagged.

I can’t completely write off Lohan’s career, considering she starred in the Parent Trap and Mean Girls. Aside from these two I can’t think of a single good movie she has released. Basically puberty killed her career.

Some idiot (D-list director/writer/producer David Michaels) went temporarily insane and hired Skeletor for The Other Side, scheduled to release in October 2010. Michaels might as well have walked under a ladder, broken a mirror, and started breeding black cats… Lohan will practically guarantee zero success for his film.

The film, comically enough, stars Lohan as some sort of scholar. The only thing she could school others in is being a crackwhore. To prove how serious she can be, she told reporters “I’m committed. I’m not going to be late. I’m really, really excited about doing this and working with these other actors.” Wow Lindsay! What incredible work ethic! I smell a Harvard graduate in the making…

NV/R,

Maria

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Lohan

That’s right. She’s finally got a job! Lindsay Lohan is set to start alongside Woody Harrelson, Giovanni Ribisi, Dave Matthews and Alanis Morissette on the indie fantasy comedy “The Other Side”. The synopsis of the film is as follows:

Story centers on a grad student who must spend the summer working at a scientific institute on a remote island. She discovers an eccentric community of characters who are hiding a secret about a tragedy that took place many years before.

-Variety

Lohan, who hasn’t had a feature role since “I Know Who Killed Me” should be pretty psyched to be back on the big screen with some great actors. I hope she can resume her normal life and maintain sanity throughout it all. I was just watching “The Parent Trap” the other day and was stumped by how different she used to be and the lifestyle she’s lead because of Hollywood. One world. CRAZY! For more of the story, head on over to Variety.com!

Suatu malam, Aubrey Flemming menghilang setelah menonton  pertandingan American Football. Dia tidak berkumpul kembali dengan teman-temannya dan kemudian dinyatakan hilang selama beberapa minggu. Pencarianpun dilakukan.

"IKWKM"

Dan disuatu malam pula, seseorang menemukan sesosok wanita yang sedang tergeletak ditepi jalan dengan kondisi tubuh yang mengenaskan. Kaki dan  tangan kanannya rusak sehingga harus diamputasi oleh dokter rumah sakit yang merawatnya.

Semua orang menyangka dia adalah Aubrey Flemming, karena wajahnya sangat mirip. Tapi wanita itu mengaku bernama Dakota Moss. Keluarga Aubrey kebingungan dan menyangka kalau Aubrey mengalami amnesia karena trauma. Tapi Dakota ini menolak bahwa dirinya adalah Aubrey.

Kemudian dia menjelaskan darimana dirinya berasal. Apa pekerjaannya dan bagaimana dia bisa sampai ke kota kecil itu. Polisi menginterogasi Dakota dan menemukan fakta bahwa Aubrey dan Dakota adalah orang yang sama.

Tapi siapakah Dakota Moss dan apa hubungannya dengan Aubrey Flemming?

(this is a spoiler but hell, i dont care!)

Dakota Moss dan Aubrey Flemming adalah sepasang anak kembar identik. Aubrey diadopsi oleh keluarga Flemming dan dibawa ke New Salem. Sedangkan Dakota tetap bersama ibu kandungnya yang meninggal karena OD narkoba. Dakota  bekerja sebagai seorang stripper sampai suatu malam dia menemukan kondisi aneh. Jari tangannya tiba-tiba membiru, kemudian putus satu persatu. Begitu juga dengan kakinya.

Ternyata dia mengalami gejala stigmata, luka yang disebabkan karena hal-hal gaib. Dakota kemudian melacak kemungkinan bahwa dia memiliki saudara kembar yang sedang mengalami kesulitan yang sama. Dan ternyata benar. Dakota sedang disekap oleh seorang pria  yang menculiknya dan memotong tangan kanan dan kaki kanannya.

Setelah berusaha menemukan saudara kembarnya, Dakota berhasil menyelamatkan Aubrey dari dalam tanah pemakaman. And they happily ever after, hopefully, karena filmnya berakhir begitu saja  tanpa ending yang jelas.

Saya pikir ini adalah film suspense psikologi yang akan memberikan kejutan dengan twist diakhir film. Tapi ternyata, twist yang diharapkan tidak sesuai dengan perkiraan.Jatuhnya malah jadi kayak film suspense religi biasa. Hanya membahas tentang fenomena stigmata yang terjadi pada saudara kembar identik dimana yang satu terluka dan lainnya juga merasa kesakitan.

Kalau dibandingkan dengan film Stigmata beberapa tahun yang lalu malah lebih menyeramkan film itu. Nggak tahu tuh, rasanya campur aduk aja ini film. Lagipula tidak didukung oleh akting yang baik. Bagaimanapun saya melihat lindsay lohan bermain sebagai sosok yang nakal dan dewasa, tetap saja saya melihatnya sebagai Lindsay Lohan spesialis film2 remaja.

Pokoknya film ini nggak ada menarik2nya. Awalnya seperti film kriminal biasa, lalu seperti thriller suspense psikologi, lalu berubah lagi menjadi suspense religius, kemudian kok jadi film setengah “gore” yang berdarah-darah? pusing saya…nggak jelas.

Ya wis, inti film itu, Aubrey dan Dakota adalah saudara kembar. Aubrey diculik dan disakiti, Dakota merasakan sakit yang sama. Aubrey dipotong tangan, Dakota kehilangan tangannya juga. Aubrey diamputasi kakinya, kaki Dakota juga ikkutan “putul”. Stigmata khas suadara kembar identik. Dan tugas Dakota menemukan keberadaan Aubrey, dan diapun berhasil, dah, film selesai.

Tidak tertarik menonton filmnya? wajar kalau anda menjadi tidak tertarik setelah membaca tulisan ini. Tapi memang itu tujuan saya. Membuat anda jadi tidak tertarik. Mending nonton film lain aja deh…masih banyak film yang bagus dan layak tonton.

untung saya nonton gratisan…coba kalo nggak…

XOXO,

Toekang Roempi

Everyone’s favourite controversial lesbian Lindsay Lohan recently shared the fact that top directors didn’t want to work with her. Um… there are probably a few reasons maybe it was the fact that she thought she was making a ground breaking movie that was meant to promote her as a serious actress that turned out to be a complete and utter flop. Ie “I know who killed me.” In this movie she portrays a stripper. Needless to say I fell asleep on the floor watching it.

She has been reported saying “I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs and I don’t lie. I love to act and write and be creative, and I want to help people by playing characters that can send a positive message out to whomever may need it.”

How is portraying a stripper that gets attacked really sending out a positive message? Just a thought. Also she feels she has had a lot of bad media coverage. Well how about you stop doing idiotic shit in front of the paparazzi and you wouldn’t have this problem. Just another thought.

Here is another one of her quotes posted on thehollywoodgossip.com site
“I’d like to have my own charity, do work overseas, be in Oscar-nominated films, write movies, produce movies/shows/videos, design clothes, make music, write books, etc. It’s all possible if people would just stop judging me and accusing me and making me out to be this aloof, spoiled, ungrateful and unprofessional person that I am not and could never be.”
My views:
Charity? Okay love, if you can’t even look after yourself, how can you honestly expect to have your own charity? Work overseas? Get of your arse and get a working Visa. Oscar nominated films? Well take yourself seriously and follow that with action and maybe directors would too. Write and produce movies etc… get a degree rather then thinking it is just gonna be handed to you. Design clothes? Well love there is that word again DEGREE! Make Music? You were a one hit one wonder for a reason. Leave it that way. Write books? Seriously if Paris can do it, it isn’t that hard. People judging you? Well love here is the catch stop trying to be like everyone else and guess what you might actually be taken seriously for a change.

If you haven’t seen the trailer yet, you really must.  It’s the sort of epic, über-trashtastic nonsense that Hollywood should make more of a commitment to if they insist on giving us terrible movies.  We do not need more Paul Blart: Mall Cops or Meet Daves; we need more of this utter garbage.  I’m not even kidding.  Just look at this train wreck:

RRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrKRASH!  In case you were wondering, that’s the sound of a train wreck.  Duh.

I can’t seem to decide what part of the trailer I like most, so I’ve decided that I simply adore all of it.  There are some highlights that must be pointed out, elements that completely convince me that you’ll have a six-pack by the end of this movie because you’ve been laughing so hard and so frequently.  For example:

• The fact that this movie is essentially Fatal Attraction but without any insane sex scenes because this movie is only PG-13.  I didn’t put on pervy-pants today (I’m wearing my corduroy boot-cut pants, actually), but these movies can’t work if they aren’t erotic, and the lack of sex is likely going to make this movie as erotic as watching the ink on an abstinence pamphlet dry; fortunately, a lack of eroticism in a sex thriller is a guarantee for laughs.  We call this the Cinematic Law of Body of Evidence.  
• Ali Larter’s seduction moves in this movie are pure genius.  It’s a potent mixture of Dakota Moss and Nomi Malone.  Between her bathroom attack and the writhing about in the car, I’m pretty certain she’s the only person in this mess that’s well aware of what kind of movie she’s in.  Her performance alone looks to be worth the price of a ticket.  
• Jerry O’Connell doing the finger gun gesture.  The finger gesture is never appropriate.
• Hell, the fact that Jerry O’Connell is in this at all is kinda blowing my mind.  I really liked him in Scream 2 and Scanners, so I’m glad to see he’s still working; still, I thought he’d been relegated to terrible Lifetime movies.  I guess his theatrical film career is getting is getting another go with Beyonce vehicles that probably should’ve remained Lifetime movies.  
• Oh, how can I forget?  Ali Larter sinisterly holding the baby is brazilliant.  I’m glad they’ve thrown a dash of The Hand That Rocks the Cradle into the narrative mix; it really is like a dash of smoked paprika in this bad movie stew.  She doesn’t just want the guy’s body, y’all.  SHE WANTS BEYONCE’S LIFE!  Scary.
• Mostly, though, there’s the catfight.  The epic catfight that destroys Beyonce’s beautiful house.  It’s like Russ Meyer on crack rock.

So, yeah, Obsessed.  It comes out April 24th, and Internet Movie Database claims the movie’s working title was Oh No She Didn’t.  How do you say no to that?

Oh, right.  You don’t.

Like many people in this country, Lindsay Lohan needs a job.

Boo hoo, right? The privileged Hollywood starlet can’t get anyone to hire her for a movie.  Because unlike the majority of those searching for employment, Lindsay really can’t blame anyone but herself.

Her acting resume includes stinkers like the stripper thriller I Know Who Killed Me, and she’s been out of work since that movie came out two years ago.

Right now she’s most famous for getting into screaming matches with her girlfriend and spending exorbitant amounts of money on stuff she can’t afford. Um, LiLo? This kind of behavior is not what gets you meetings with Spielberg.

But no one is irredeemable–after all, Mickey Rourke of all people earned an Oscar nomination this year! So if Lindsay tones down the late night antics, stops making bizarre European commercials and takes a few acting classes, perhaps she can get back to being A-list royalty.

Will the Mean Girls star stop lamenting her “sicko fans” and start focusing on her career? 59% of the Predicto Mobile community says that Lindsay Lohan will land a film role by July.

If she’s not able to get hired for a movie, maybe she’d like to work for Predicto! Once we heard about Lindsay’s plight, we wanted to help out. So we’re offering the actress $50,000 to be our celebrity spokesman.  Really! Check out our job offer to Ms. Lohan at our here.

55% of the Predicto Mobile community believe that Lindsay will agree to be Predicto’s celebrity spokesman by 4/15. Hey you never know–times are tough. Maybe she really will accept.

Do you like predicting what will happen next in celeb news and gossip? Then go to Predicto.com to get in on the action right now!

Lindsay Lohan used to be a contender.  I mean, how can you deny the talent?  Anybody who remembers I Know Who Killed Me knows she’s the best.  At delivering the worst performances.  Seriously, though, I loved her in Mean Girls, so it saddens me to say that she’s been reduced to spokesperson for, well, something called Fornarina:

Fornarina is, according to this ad, a self-described “celebrity fashion style.”  I say self-described because that garbage looks likes something you’d find in the hooker section of a TJ Maxx.  Yikes.

This entire ad is quite simply a hot pink train wreck of disastrous proportions.  I don’t particularly understand what celebrity style would involve wearing what quite frankly appears to be–and my apologies in advance to those with delicate sensibilities–anal beads around your neck, but I’m guessing it’s pretty cheap and trashy if it employs Ms. Lohan as its spokesperson.  Seeing as she’s clearly not eating, I bet the people at Fornarina are pay her in Red Bull and cigarettes.  Breakfast of champions, that.

I’ll give her this, though: Lindsay Lohan’s now my Halloween costume idea NUMERO UNO.  All you have to do is find the sleaziest street walker outfit you can find at a Salvation Army, top it with a truly shiteous blond wig, and then you wander around your party pointing and saying inane one syllable words.  Just like Gwyneth’s clams, it couldn’t be simpler.

Cheers to Dlisted for posting this mess.