D+15 days without chocolate,Yes we can!

As a chocolate junky like ME & most of YOU, I cherish & value my Godiva , Neuhaus, Milka , Côte d’Or , Lindor, whether french, swiss, Belgium, or Ghanaian chocolate. I normally can’t spend a full day without putting a nice & tastefully crafted piece of chocolate. Any square i swallowed could be seen on my hips & thighs , so I had no other choice than test my Will Power.Surprinsingly I succeeded for 2 weeks. Now I feel lighter, & slimmer but the challenge for me is to continue clothing my eyes & my mouth to Godiva & the others. So just think about all these great outfits you want to pop style in for the new yearor even all the monday mornings of 2009 when you were supposed to start a diet. So cut on the choc before Christmas, Walk more, drink a lot of water, forget about bread & butter and you will be surprised to meet a new YOU in few days. So  JUST DO IT!  Give yourself the luxury to hate chocolate for few days.

© Naboulove.

Nowadays if you don’t like your nose , your boobs or any other part of your body, you can pay to improve their looks & get a plastic surgey. But in the case of Solange Magnano, it ended up costing her the highest price: her life. Her story moved me a lot as she was about my age & also the mother of twins’ aged 7. Also like millions of women throughout the world, she wanted a perfect body at all cost. She will not see her kids grow to become young adults then women, as she died while having a surgery for buttocks implants. It may sound sarcastic but it is even more of a drama when you know that Solange was a Miss Argentina Universe in 1994, & she still looked perfectly beautiful to me. BUT. She just didn’t feel comfortable with herself. If I had 1/5th of her body i would certainly be grateful . Even though, in South America to look good means to have a perfect body is a MUST. And in recent years I have come across more & more African women who go through lipo , nose jobs or boob jobs in order to get the look of their dreams. More & more clinic open in Dakar & Abidjan catering such needs & even Kinshasa has its IVO PITANGUI who did few of my friends boobs as well as practised few lipos . When I see the pain they all went through, I get extra motivations to stick to my exercise & protein diet routine. Even though I can understand the deep moral relief it does bring to some. As a matter of fact, a new nose can be a life changing experience & I have seen a friend of mine shift into a new woman after she had the breast she always wanted. My sisters, I don’t want to sound cliché but European & African standards of beauty are not the same & Fortunately most of us won’t have to go for buttocks implants. In case you judge it necessary to have a surgery, remember that so many less invasive techniques are available now to sculpt your dream shape & many of them don’t require an anesthesia so make some research & talk to friends who may recommend a good, safe & experienced plastic surgeon. Beware, there are so many butchers out there. Accidents do happen in all case but make sure that the change you are about to make is worth the pain. Remember Late First Lady Stella Obansanjo died whilst going through a plastic surgery procedure. Check if you are not allergic to some substances & inform yourself as much as you can. Otherwise consider some slimming clinic like Buchinger in Marbella, & make exercising one of your 2010 resolutions. Look in the mirror & smile at yourself because you are Beautiful.
One Love. ©Naboulove.

Recently I have been obsessed by some funny thought: who made the following rules those who create terrible damages in our self-esteems.So let me continue in my favorite free style a listing of the rules:

1-A man must be richer than a woman or make more money.

Is that so? so is that the reason why the new breed of  highly educated well paid beautiful Ladies ares still single? I can name a dozen from Casablanca to Cape-Town. Men do you feel castrated by a successful woman. Giirlz tell me what’s wrrong with dating a nice young exec? It happens that most of the sisters who try to adjust to a lower income dude end up being used or abused by a man who tend to develop inferiority complex. So that rule may apply unless Ladies you find the fine black man who is free of complex & secure about his other qualities .Let’s not be desesperate the rare phenomenon exists & might be waiting for you somewhere. Just make sure sisters that you keep a rather low profile on your income at the first dates otherwise you might just attract a gold digger.

2-A man must be taller than his woman.

Does size matter when in bed? obviously not but in terms of aesthetic some girlz have criterias to which they stick until they meet prince charming who is everything but 6 feet tall. So what do yo settle for ? Are you ready to trade the gentleman with the tall bushman? Life is a choice & the inner value of a person might be worth more than his height.

3-A man must be older than his woman.

That sounds so cliché & outdated but some stick to it in their male chase. So Koffi is the best date you have had in years, he has a decent job, seems hardworking & willing to commit but the day he told you his age “I am 32″ , you almost had a heart attack!!! he looked much older than that you assumed he was a solid 36 to 40 years old & could fit in your shopping list. Unfortunately life aint easy & women tend to look young at 40 & beyond which makes them attractive preys for younger guys who generally think they are dealing with same age mate  women. STOP having that disgusted look! If Koffi is mature enough & has good manners & above all loves you as much as you do then what is the problem? Oh you are thinking about people. It is none of their business what counts is what YOU want & what PLEASES YOU. So if you feel Koffi is good enough for you then Go for Koffi & enjoy the relationship  & why not your marriage. Character is what counts not numbers.

4-Mother in laws are wicked witches

The best In-Law relationship I had was with one the worst relationship i have had soooo… Legend doesn’t make rules & if you have a mother like mine, your Mother in law will be terrified, trust me. You marry the man , not the family unlike they teach us in our African culture. I assume you have received a good home education & you are respectful to elders , so stick to it as well as minding your own business which is YOU & YOUR MAN. To avoid problems avoid slippery comments as well as opiniated ideas about his family, so that you will see the witch syndrom reduced to a minimum. Be careful of the “I am too friendly inlaw” who might just gain to your trust in order to interfere in your private decision. So remember, your Mother in law is a mother to be respected but she is not your mother & she certainly is not your friend. I sure have few examples of exemplary mothers in law but they always work for the best interrest oof their son whatsoever , so make sure you remain being their son’s best interest.

5-One must be married to have kidz

I come from a very muslim background so I think it is questionable, but I believe that after a certain age , if you havent found the right shoe & that your fertility level might decline , i think you have to take a quick decision. It is your life & it is your choice don’t let any one hold you from enjoying Motherhood if you feel ready for it. Make sure you have a clear & honest discussion with your family & man . Also remember that GOD is LOVE & forgiveness & don’t let anyone come between you & your faith.

6-A woman must not leave the father of her kids

That’s the saying & honestly I do believe that one should stay in a realionship or marriage for the good sake of the children but also for her own good. No One should force you to stay in an unhealthy relationship where motherhood becomes the trap in which an abusive man keeps you. Unless you want to have traumatized kids that will grow up with many personality issues. I grew up with just my mum as my dad died early & i was always tagged as a very balanced child so… I just think that one very loving & balanced parent is better than 2 broken ones. So don’t forget staying for the sake of the kid doesn’t end up being the best decision for them. Children need a happy Mum & a happy Dad.

So please be selfish & make the right choice coz life ain’t a rehearsal.

Xoxo

NabouLove

Si un día está deprimido, nada mejor que este fondo I Love Me

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salu2

Ooh yes. Sorta along the lines of what Rick Warren tells everyone…

I feel… passionate, oh-so-motivated and on-fire for God, for myself, for my future… everything!

Actually, I don’t think that in my entire life I’ve ever felt as driven as I do now…

And I’m loving it!

Check me out: I’m about to move into my new loft flat, just before I start my brand new degree in a university that’s in such a desirable location – where I’ll get to schmooze with other like-minded folks…

Life is gooood. No, actually, it’s great.

I’m in focus mode. I’m totally ready for whatever life throws at me… Bring it on!

Watch this space… I can guarantee that in 3 years from now, my VVB (Virtual Vision Board) will have everything crossed off on it! And it starts: NOW

Yeah boyyyyy… I’m back!

^_^

I’ve been in a really great mood lately. Jason & I have been getting along better. Emma has been SO SWEET lately (and she’s doing really well in baseball!) Work… work is never great, but it’s not horrible. I’ve been staying fairly busy and things are looking up. I started the next semester of school last night with my A&P II class. There are a lot of people from last semester in my class, and it looks like we’re going to work hard but have a lot of fun while we’re doing it.

I started packing lunches for Jason & me. I did this mostly to save some money because eating out costs SO MUCH (I’ve spent $299.80 on going out to eat since 7/30/09! – JESUS CHRIST, that’s a lot of money on CRAP!), but I’ve come to realize that if I pack our lunches with the right kind of foods and don’t over pack, we can easily lose weight while saving some cash. Since I’ve started eating smaller portions of healthier food through out the day, I’ve noticed that I feel better. What’s crazy is that I LIKE IT. I like feeling better and I like being happy.

So, that leads to the question: How do I keep on feeling this way?? Well, the first step is to keep on doing the things that are making me happy. Playing with Emma. Getting along with Jason. Doing well at work. Being confident about school. Eating right. Starting out the day in a positive way, rather than automatically assuming it’s going to be a shitty day.

And yet another question: How do I feel even better?

As you know, I’ve been struggling with my weight for a long time. Some might say my entire life has been one big weight struggle. I was 147 lbs when I got pregnant with Emmaleigh. I was by no means fat. In fact, I looked DAMN GOOD. But in the course of my pregnancy, I stopped going dancing. I gave into my chocolate cravings. I ate a lot of foods that are bad for me, and I never stopped eating, because I was under the false impression that it was perfectly ok, since I was “eating for two”. That is WRONG!!! You don’t need to pile on the pounds and you don’t really need to eat more than a couple hundred extra calories more than you’re used to eating (I have never in my life stuck to the 2000 calorie a day diet, even when I was at my skinniest). It’s actually dangerous to put on a lot of weight while you’re pregnant. Not just for you, but for your baby too!
 
The doctors told me this, but not until after I’d started eating poorly and packing on the weight (the first time I got a lecture was when I’d already packed on 30 pounds). By then, I was already addicted to food. And I do believe that I have an actual addiction to food… Once I start, I cannot stop eating. And I crave the WORST foods for me: potato chips. Candy bars (Snickers is my ultimate weakness). Ice cream (anything with caramel – please & thank you). Garlic bread loaded with butter. Pizza. Cheeseburgers covered with lettuce, tomato, onion, & mayo. Baked potatoes – fully loaded with butter, sour cream, bacon bits, & chives. Almost anything fried (especially chicken fried steak). You name it, I’ll likely eat it.

Since I’ve started eating smaller portions (because let’s face it: the portions I was eating are more meant for a grown man twice my size) and making healthier food choices, I’ve noticed that I still crave foods that aren’t good for me, but that I do actually feel better. It’s only been three days, and I will likely always crave the foods. But I don’t feel so horribly weighed down or greasy, and I want to keep feeling that way!!

I know that in order to lose weight, you have to do more than eat better. You have to work out, too. And yes, I’m broken as broken can be. But there are still things that I can do that won’t hurt my body. I might not be able to dance the way I used to because of my knee, but I can still dance! I can do the elliptical. I can swim. I can lay on the ground while I’m watching my favorite TV shows and do crunches or leg lefts or pushups. I can turn lazy time into something positive! I don’t have to live like this anymore! I don’t have to hate what I see in the mirror anymore!

I remember when I was about 13 or so, I still had some baby fat on me and I didn’t like it. Once my mom got fed up with hearing me bitch about my weight, she decided that we were both going to do something about it (she was wearing a 16/18 and packing on some pounds, herself). So, she started eating better and decided that we were going to wake up at 4:00 in the morning to alternate workout videos. We started doing Denise Austin’s 10 minute ab workout and Richard Simmon’s “Sweatin to the Oldies”. Because I was a bratty ass 13 year old who didn’t want to lose any more sleep (since apparently 9 hours isn’t enough sleep, LOL), I gave up after about 2 weeks. My mom didn’t. She kept at it, and about 7-8 weeks later, she was down to a size 6!!

I can do that! I have to keep myself focused and stay motivated, but I CAN LOSE MY WEIGHT! I can feel better about myself and I can love the person I am again!

Well, I guess it’s true that when one door closes, another door opens…

And really and truly, I’m not looking to keep a wedge in the door this time.

It’s better for me to be free to be pursued by someone who actually wants to treat me like the Queen I am and the one who wants to eventually grow old with me… So, actually, I’m seeing this as a favour!

(And I know there’s a whole load of clichés, and old sayings, that I could throw in here – but I think I’ve made my point).

Although, I’m not even gonna lie, I don’t regret anything that’s happened/been said during this “season” of my life, as I’ve learnt a lot that’ll help me out when things start getting real.

So for that, I’ll always be thankful…

Though now, it’s time to turn the page for a new chapter!

I feel empowered. Yeah boi.

^_^

ETA: “Never confuse the feeling of being “in love” with love. True love is a choice… Love is a privilege, not an obligation.”

I actually woke up feeling pissed off, this morning.

I didn’t get to bed ’til around 4:30am this morning. So excuse me if I’m a little cranky – I just have to have a rant to make me feel lighter.

Anyways, all I need to say is:

I am a gift.

I have a choice, and I also have a dream. I don’t need to change that dream for anybody – they need to fit themselves into it.

And if they don’t, well… Sayonara, sucker!

I don’t need anyone to make me feel good about myself because I already know that I’m a catch and anyone would be lucky to have me. So like, if you’re not dangling the bait, then why should I jump up into your boat? Skeen.

If I’m not getting what I want, then I don’t want to hang around and waste my time. I don’t want to “pretend” anything – why should I?

When I’m committed to something (or someone), I usually have a good reason for committing to it in the first place – and, if I’m in a good place, I don’t let the issues surrounding it get to me. I’m not a coward.

I don’t need to put myself down to make anyone else feel better about themselves. Like Marianne Williamson says:

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.

I realise that my issues have very little to do with other people, as I can’t change them – it’s more about how I see myself and how I treat myself. So for what I’ve done already, I apologize to Me.

Gah… It had to come out at some point! But hey, I feel better already…

^_^

I am tired of trying to “fit in” to please society. I am tired of doing things that I would not normally do to please you! I am tired of trying to  make him love me when the reality is that I must  love myself !

I love me, what more could there be, a love for myself that super-cedes all. A love for myself that has taught me to appreciate the beauty in me. That has taught me to weed out the negative and focus on the positive of me .

I love me!

There once was a time when I was consumed by him , the thought of him, the feeling of him. Yes I admit it, I was in love with the idea of him .  An idea that was forced upon me by you! Television, Media , Hollywood, Friends, Family …Why is it that a woman must be with a man to be happy. Why does she have to  have that ring around her finger or be in a relationship before she turns the ripe age of 30 , to be normal.  Why are we teaching our daughters that in order to be happy we have to find our prince charming , live in his castle and be his trophy wife?

One of  many trophies that is displayed on his mantle  (for a limited time only) collecting dust until he is ready to polish us with his sometimes personality . A  personality that we have become a prisoner of, one that we have forced ourselves to believe in although the truth was painted abstractly  the very first day.

The very first day we met him we knew he was An Andalusian Dog”, and we were playing the  main role in this surrealist film that he liked to call his life. A Dali like film that is disjointed, jumping from the initial “once upon a time” to “eight years later” without the events or characters changing very much. Why are women  just going through the motions to appease you society!  In choosing to please you, we are living a dream that we eventually have to wake up from.

Well, I am awake and an choosing not to accept  mediocrity and get caught up  in the theory of him ! I am choosing to love myself , accept the single life and  be my own happy ending.

Thanks ANGIE ZAMUDIO for teaching me to do me!

You make friends

And they break

and Then….well, life happens.

and I would do it all over again

because I would rather take making 1 great friend and losing 5 mediocre friends any day of the week.

I never thought that I would ever lose those friends, that we’d go to each other’s weddings, stand up in our weddings, have our kids play together. It’ll never happen now. And I’m fine with that. But it happens with everyone. It’s rare that we would have remained friends forever, but hey. What are you going to do?You move on.

I love the fact that I’m not a product of my environment. I’ve stepped out on my own making my own mark for my family. What I mean by that is this… My sisters all look up to me and I’m honored to have them do so. They know just like I know, I’m not perfect but still them embrace me as I am.

I love my dimples and my beautiful smile.

I love the fact that even though I have a surgery line from under my breasts that runs past my navel, I am toning my abs so I can wear a two-piece bikini when I hit up Miami this summer.

I love the fact that I’m exposed not only to what’s in my city, the club or what car a dude has, but exposed to what’s going on around me in the world. Years ago it wasn’t a big deal, but today now that I’m exposed… I wonder to myself, how did I get by this long without knowing?

I love that even though I think or convince myself I have no support system, I really do!

I love the fact I’m fearlessly approaching 30!

I love the fact I got promoted last fall even when I doubted I would because it was too soon for me…

Being single is probably the best thing that has happened to me in years!

I love that I’m an auntie… Officially!

I love the fact that I can dream big dreams and not feel like a little kid.

I love the fact I’m stepping out on a new venture with my twin sister.

I love the fact that cellulite on me, is pretty much genetics… I love it… you don’t? Kick rocks!

I love the fact that I’m clueless about fashion and interior design, but shows that are about the two gets me excited!

I love the fact there’s no such thing as a bad hair day with me and if there is, I was just being plain lazy!

I also love the fact that on Marie Claire’s February Issue, Renee Zellweger says, “I’m not single–I’m busy!” Way to go girl!

…I love that even though I’ve run out of stuff for now, that I can come back later and post more!

Peace and hairgrease

Vee

My take on an adolescant rhyme …

Actress: Elizabeth

Creative assistant and stills photography: William Ball

Location assistant: Karin

Thanks to: 2InSpire; Chris’ flowers, East Street market.