I love holiday season. Who doesn’t?

It’s the best time of the year. It begins with the leaves changing color, and then the crisp smell in the air. Soon enough you start seeing turkey ads on the grocery stores flyer. You can even start hearing Christmas music in some stores.

Not to mention, the weather starts to cool down. In Florida, this is the best time of the year in term of the weather. It’s not too cold, but it’s definitely not hot anymore. When you leave the house in the morning, you look up and see the bluest sky you can imagine, with that breeze hugging you all around.

Having a good feeling in the morning is the best way to start the day. Next time you walk outside, or approaching your car on the driveway, stop for 3 seconds and just look up. Then take a deep breath, and be grateful for another beautiful day.

Now what does this have to do with conversations? Everything.

When you meet people who you’d already have connections, but haven’t seen each other enough to go into any serious topic of conversation (not to start with anyway), begin with this questions, “So, what are you going to do for Thanksgiving?”

Normally, they’ll begin telling you about their family traditions, family members, and favorite dishes. Start the conversation from there.

If you would like to start making connection with someone who you’d just met, begin with the weather topic. No, really, in Florida, it’s not cheesy at all. I would normally say something like this, “Man, it’s cold this morning. It’s nice though. Get you in holiday mood. Don’t you agree?” and that would usually get them to respond. Either by saying, “Not really, I’m from Up North,” or “I know, and I have to start with Christmas shopping already.”

Regardless what they say, even someone with conversation block like me would find further questions or responds to keep the conversation flowing. Just simply the fact that they start feeling good as they start thinking about the holiday when you two are talking about it, that would make them more open in having the conversations.

My favorite part in starting conversations is when we’re picking turkey in the grocery stores freezer. I love getting advice from the older lady and give them to the younger ones when I see them start glazing over those piles of frozen poultry.

Oh good feeling. That certainly helps me to relax as well. I’m not going to put on so much pressure on myself. Good enjoyable conversations would never happen when one of the parties is stressed out all the time, trying to figure out what to say next, when to listen, and how to watch the body language to figure out what the other party is actually feeling.

Holiday season and holiday topics usually take all those negativity off. When you don’t know how to start a conversation with a stranger next time, start with anything related to holiday season. Soon enough you would have interesting conversations that leave everyone feel good during and afterwards.

If a picture is worth a thousand words, these videos must be worth 10,000 words…of course, this is only my personal opinion, but these three videos touch on all the “interactive” wedding DJ stuff that makes me CRINGE when I see it take place at a wedding.

#1 – Check out this cinematic marvel from Denon & Doyle, a SF Bay Area based DJ company. This video pretty much sums up everything that I would NEVER want to see at a wedding or party that I was associated with. If you disagree, I’m certainly not the guy you want DJing your event! Enjoy…

#2 – Here’s one from Jordan River Productions, another SF Bay Area DJ company. Pardon the lack of sound but the Warner Music Group must not be a fan of “interactive” wedding DJ entertainment either, as they hit this YouTube video with a little cease and desist order. This video seems to play on the bride’s fear of not having the guests dance (the good part kicks in at 1:57 or so), but if you’re OK with resorting to what I see as (yes, this is only my personal opinion) cheesy, forced, synchronized activities to get your guests moving (rather than simply having a skilled DJ who can mix well and select the right tracks), I’m definitely not your kinda DJ. That said, maybe Jordan’s your man.

#3 – I don’t know anything about DJ Gary Silverman, other than that he probably hails from New Jersey (based on the 973 area code), but this one is, simply put…painful. Watch at your own risk.

So here’s yet another repost…another in/direct relay of the shit that our east afrikan “media” personalities spew….as with everything else nowadays,we ain’t agonising, so much as, using this homo & trans phobic backlash to organise ourselves & advocate for queer/trans rights.

in other words, we’re  TAKING BACK SPACE!

you’re right Caroline, we have much more important shit to deal with. I resent that folks like you, who getting paid plenty nuff to get people’s attention and sell stuff, that you would waste airtime with such ignorance and (mis) understanding, that you would trigger me to JUS HAVTA  respond

……tolerance is not equated with sticking your head in the sand or allowing for hate to flourish. I told this to John Allan Namu, and I’ll tell this to you, sometimes you just need to go by a really simple rule of thumb. if you don’t have anything good to say, then don’t say nothing at all. (and yes, that one is another tricky principle to negotiate…but I’ll show you an example of the power there is in language….I’mm check you, en still keep it positive….practise long enough and you can do it too)

both you (en John Allan Namu) need to sign up for our upcoming AO101  workshops. If like you say, Caroline, there are so many  ”gay” folk that you support, and kudos for trying, then I’m sure you would jump at the chance of educating yourself on anti-oppression issues.

we all gots learning to do. and this will be my gift to you. I offer you a 2 – 3hr workshop, for you and your colleagues in March…at your convenience, where we will challenge homo/les/bi/trans phobia in a decolonization framework.

In other words, we’ll interrogate the intersections of our diversity and oppressions, and teach you more appropriate words than gay, like queer, & ” so gay” like neo colonialism & the masters tools will never dismantle the master’s house……and you can learn more about the role of allies, and all those folks in the closet…..most importantly, you’ll hear from people who’re OUT  of the closet, and won’t take you shoving us back inside…relegating us to sensationalist news items on the latest western craze and 2 gay men getting married in the  UK.

and dear reader, this post is for you too,  judge for yourself if Caroline needs any checking on her “issues”..

here’s what she had to say, in her own words.

THIS IS WHAT CAROLINE MUTOKO OF KISS FM wrote last week concerning an issue that was raised by many listeners of their sister station- CLASSIC 105 when the on air presenters went on and on poking fun at the gay community and concluding by telling their listerners to SLAP THE GAYNESS out of any gay person they meet in Kenya…………………..

*The violence in Kenya in 2007 can never be compared to the intolerance Kenya and Africa have for gay people. It trivializes the issues we underwent politically and ethically. The very people who suffered in 2007 would be shocked and disgusted to think some small minded people think it’s the same thing. How you chose to have sex cannot and does not compare to the suffering of our IDPS.*

*I am tolerant of homosexuals, period. When I start getting garbage in the name of the “persecuted minorities” then I have to put an end to it. There’s a threshold to how tolerant I or anyone can be of something that whether you like it or not, goes against the very sensibilities of more than 90% of humanity, let alone Kenyans.*

No single media personality has given the homosexuals in this country more air-time or space to speak and be heard without judging them than I have. So spare me the crap and the moral high-ground on what I can or cannot say and whether or not Nick and Marcus were right or wrong. There are homosexuals who work with us how do you want to know I care? Would you like to me “out” them so you can ask them if Caroline is legitimate.

What Kenya went through in early 2008 and this nonsense with the homosexuals cannot and should not be compared at all. How fickle can you be.

I can be tolerant, and tolerant I am, but I don’t have to embrace it and I sure as hell don’t have to apologise for saying it’s a none issue if I think so. There are bigger issues in this nation to deal with right now and the fact that afew homosexuals are hurt because Marcus and Nick said, give them a quick slap is beyond logic.

(NO SHE DI(UH)N!!!!!!)

From [*Name*], to [*Name*], to [*Name*], [*Name*], the organisation called Forgotten Sheep, [*Name*], [*Name*], [*Name*], to [*Name*] and [*Name*], to [*Name*] and [*Name*], to [*Name*] and [*Name*] and not to mention [*Name*] and [*Name*] who still rely on me for cash and jobs, I am very tolerant of homosexuals in Kenya. I’m not some silly little talking head looking for cheap publicity, I actually keep their confidences, respect their secrets and accept they want to remain in the closet.

(Yes! This is ironically THE  Harvey milk moment of this rant)

They come to my show, call me and take me into confidence because they know I get it. I’m their go-to-person. But when some air-heads thinks this is their new soap box to get mileage, you’ve got another think coming.

Incidentally, can you all get back to work, Paul Ilado, Patrick Quarcoo and myself have real issues to deal with. Caroline.

PS- SHE HAS WRITTEN ANOTHER LONG ARTICLE TITLED-  SO YOU’RE GAY, SO WHAT????

in todays THE STAR newspaper…..

  THE GAY AND LESBIAN COALITION OF KENYA

October 18, 2009

RE: Solidarity with SEXUAL MINORITIES UGANDA in regards to Bill 18 – Anti Homosexuality Bill 2009

We, the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Intersex, Queer persons  of the Gay and Lesbian Coalition of Kenya, wish to show our support and solidarity with the LGBTIQ community of Uganda and Sexual Minorities Uganda as they face uncertainty following the tabling in Parliament of the Anti-Homosexuality bill no 18.on the 14^th of October 2009. We note that this proposed legislation, if passed, will be a breach to the fundamental rights and freedoms of all LGBTIQ persons of Uganda.

Further, this bill seeks to control and dictate every Ugandan’s sexuality and gender expression by criminalizing consensual same sex relationships and self identities .The belief that homosexuality is unnatural and a threat to traditional family values is promoting false prejudices that target the LGBTI community and render them vulnerable to acts that are in violation of their rights as citizens, which in turn degrade the value and efforts put in achieving a democratic state of Uganda.

As Kenyans who risk facing the same legislative discrimination, considering the shared borders and legal jurisprudence of the East African community, we are pledging our infinite support and adding our voices to demand that the Ugandan parliament refrain from passing this bill into law. Additionally, we encourage the East African community to challenge these appalling acts directed towards minority communities and especially sexual minorities. We further condemn the justification of human rights violations in the name of morality and culture that go against the good will of all states that have signed and ratified the Universal Declaration on Human Rights.

In light of the homophobic responses and reaction from the Ugandan government and its agencies and as an effort from the LGBTI community that raise awareness and challenge all forms of human rights violations perpetrated on the basis of one’s sexual orientation and/or gender identity (arbitrary arrests and detention, physical assault, emotional and mental assault, hate speeches and hate crimes ), we urge the government of Uganda to refrain from such acts and put in place mechanisms that address the issue of gender and sexual based violence against all Uganda citizens.

Regardless of our personal moral beliefs and values, our sexual orientation and gender identity we are standing up in solidarity with our Ugandan brothers and sisters to agitate for the respect for Democracy, the Constitution and its enshrined principles of human dignity, equality, freedom and justice for all.

In solidarity,                                                                                                                                                                    

Steering committee

For: Gay and lesbian coalition of Kenya

www.galck.org        

 For further information:

info@galck.org

poul85@gmail.com

+254 721 801 054

The Gay and Lesbian Coalition of Kenya is a coalition of Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender and Intersex (LGBTI) human rights organizations GALCK is registered as a trust (“Kenya Gay and Lesbian Trust”) and was established in May 2006.

GALCK is an umbrella organization and currently consists of five member organizations; “Minority Women in Action”, “Ishtar MSM”, “TOMIK”  “Gay Kenya” and “Transgender Education and Advocacy – TEA”. Additionally, there are four organizations mainly out of Nairobi whose membership is under consideration.

The vision of GALCK is a safe and enabling environment for LGBTI organizations and individuals in Kenya.

The mission is to promote recognition, acceptance and defend the interests and rights of LGBTI organizations and their members.

As Ugandan MP David Bahati spearheads a campaign around the adoption of the homophobic ‘Bahati’s bill’, Solome Nakaweesi-Kimbugwe and Frank Mugisha call for an unwavering rejection of a piece of legislation entirely against the interests of wider Ugandan society.

With strong suspicions of Bahati’s financial backing by extreme-right Christian groups in the US, the bill seeks not only to establish draconian punishments for homosexual acts but also to actively encourage Ugandans to snoop on one another indefinitely for the supposed good of the nation.

If homophobes like Bahati were really worried about ‘protect[ing] the traditional family’, Nakaweesi-Kimbugwe and Mugisha argue, they’d concern themselves with tackling the conditions keeping so many Ugandans in poverty, rather than making scapegoats of homosexual people. The authors conclude that with an election approaching in 2011, the momentum behind the bill smacks of a none-too-subtle attempt to divert attention away from Uganda’s true issues.

Pambazuka – Bahati?s bill: A convenient distraction for Uganda’s government

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Great Group Microwavers

This list and blog entry comes from http://www.simplesmallgroups.com/ I would encourage you to visit this site because it has a lot of wonderful resources to offer. This is the small group resource site for Southeast Christian Church in Louisville, KY.

Microwave your group’s connection with some of these ideas:

10. Go around the room and share your spiritual journey in 60 seconds or less.

9. Pick a needy family and come up with a plan for how to bless them this Christmas.

8. Go around the room and everyone share a hidden talent, and demonstrate if possible.

7. Get together for some Sunday afternoon NFL watching.

6. Meet for breakfast at Lynn’s Paradise Cafe on a Saturday morning.

5. Have a pizza and bowling night.

4. Meet for coffee before church and then sit together during service.

3. Find someone in your neighborhood who needs leaves raked and bless them as a group.

2. Have a GROUP THANKSGIVING dinner together.

1. Share BHAPR’s (big hairy audacious prayer requests).  Make them personal, and make them as specific as possible.  Have someone in the group track the requests over the course of a few months and watch God work.

And here’s something that I’m sure many of us new teachers would appreciate! I’m guessing even seasoned teachers might get some use out of this site. Imagine the first day of school and you’ve been assigned a form class. Or even a subject class. Maybe even the kids don’t know each other. And to add to your first-day distress, this is a school you’re completely unfamiliar with and 40 pairs of eyes scrutinize you closely, with an air of skepticism.

So what are your options? If you’ve got your game on, good for you! Otherwise, you always have good old ice-breakers to come to your rescue. An immediate reaction to the term ice-breakers or even games might be groans and apprehension. But never underestimate the power of these activities for they allow students and teachers to get to know each other in double time and in a fun manner. If the activities are executed well, chances are your students would not want you to stop! This site contains quite a number of useful ice-breakers you might want to use in class or during CCAs. I’m guessing you may want to even adopt some of these activities as starter activities for your lessons.

Here are two great sites:

Education World: Ice Breakers
Ice Breakers from About.Com

I personally prefer the first link because it has ice breakers for a classroom setting. But the second link will work wonderfully well too if adapted nicely. Have fun!

          Hey TTTT’s (and the rest of the class) I found some more techniques that I thought might be helpful.  Today was my first day of practicums at Carusi Middle School, and I realized just how important it is for the students and teachers to feel comfortable with one another in a new environment.  Therefore, after being exposed to the following icebreakers and warm-up exercises I thought of all the potential teachers in the room. (Sorry novelists, but I am sure you can use these if you ever sub)  Anyway, I hope that some of these come in handy for everyone.

1.  If you were to write your autobiography, what would the title be and why?

2.  Draw a picture that describes who you are.  It can be symbols, colors, or you doing something……appropriate. (The appropriate is needed when you have kids like me in your classroom)

3.  Create a flower.  People put one petal on the flower, something important that is written about them.  If something is found in common with the group, the petal is put in the center.

4.  Human scavenger hunt.  Where you find things interesting about each person from a list that might be work or school related.

5.  People at each table in class find four things they have in common and share with the class group as an introduction.  IT CANNOT be anything about education. (otherwise we all know everyone would like writing in our case)

6.  Make a bulletin board where people post one clue about themselves (not including there names obviously) a day and keep adding clues until someone figures out their identity.

7.  Give out pennies and look at the dates.  Go around the room and share something that occurred for you in the year of the pennies mint.

8.  Skittles; people grab one; there is a guide by color. (People who have yellow talk about something they did during the summer, green is about an adventure they embarked on, and red can be a random fun fact about them)

9.  Gingerbread people. Hand out Gingerbread  people, who have a question on each of their body parts.  Some sample questions could be: What gives you indigestion (stomach), what drives you crazy (head), what you love (heart) what you bring (one leg), what you want to  let go of, (hand).  Each person takes a turn introducing themselves in front of the room after.

10.  Movie titles that describe your life experience.  What do they say about you?

This post is part of a project to share reflections about all 28 of the Core Elements of InterPlay.  For background information about InterPlay or this project, read What the Heck is InterPlay?!.

The Best Icebreaker Ever

Recently, my mom forwarded me the following email:

Could I get instructions for the ice breaker Gretchen used at the retreat? It was the best I’ve ever experienced, and I’d like to use it at work.  She was so great!

Awwwww. Nice of this man (I’ll call him Matt) to compliment me and my workshop facilitation. But even nicer that he recognized the power of the InterPlay form of “babbling”.

He’d experienced this unique “icebreaker” during a church retreat (for the ultra cool Covenant Baptist in Houston, Texas), where I’d been invited to teach some sessions on embodied worship.

How to Lead Folks in a Babbling Sequence

Here are the instructions I emailed back to Matt:

1. Put people in partners
2. Have them decide who will go first.
3. Tell them you’re going to give them a topic and they will talk about it for 30 seconds. Tell them you will ding a bell when it is time to switch.
4. Announce the first topic. Simple ones are best. (For example, have folks describe their car. Or a friend. Maybe their favorite view from a window).
5. After they have both spoken about the topic, have them thank their partner and find a new one.
6. Repeat the process two more times.
7. With the final partner, give them an extra minute to reflect on what it was like for them to talk in these quick bursts about different topics.

If you want to see an example of babbling, watch the video at the top of this post. It’s surprisingly simple!

Babbling Creates Instant Community

I’ll never forget when Phil Porter, one of the cofounders of InterPlay, revealed a discovery of his: community is created when each person in the group hears a personal story from 3 different members of the group.

This advice was a revelation to me, one I have tested out hundreds of times since. And it’s true. So often we think we need fun, unique games to serve as icebreakers. But really, people just want to feel connected to each other. And connection happens through personal stories.

Plus, as I mentioned in the video (above), we can reveal a great deal of information about ourselves in 30 seconds. Just the other day in an InterPlay class, my partner described the view from a window. From this seemingly innocuous topic, I learned:

she used to live in Minnesota, she lives in the second floor apartment, she really likes cats, she knows a lot about trees, she lives with a male significant other, she and her partner enjoy being silly together.

Wow! That’s a lot of stuff crammed into 30 seconds.We’re bound to find something we have in common there. (I like to be silly and I have lived in Minnesota!). The more we find in common with the people in our groups, the more connected we’ll be.

The Mundane Details Contain the Juiciest Nuggets

Another piece of InterPlay wisdom: Profound truths are embedded in mundane, daily details.

So often group facilitators try to get their students to “go deep” by having them share big deal reflections with the rest of the group. What are you most afraid of? What brings you the most joy?

In InterPlay we ease into the deep stuff. Why force people to share their intimate details so overtly? Instead, just have them, for example: describe their kitchen! A gay man might quickly have to choose whether he’ll reveal that his male partner does all the cooking. Or I’ll reveal that I’m still single at the age of 36, living with roommates. And we sometimes share meals.

These seemingly mundane details contain the nuggets of some of our deepest human experiences: loss, love, pain, surrender, courage. All that comes out?! But all I did was ask them to describe their kitchen!

What Should We Babble About?

Babbling is so quick and easy. Anyone can talk for 30 seconds. I’ll end by leaving you with a list of possible topics you can have folks babble about. Enjoy all the stories!

• Describe the view out a window
• Describe your desk at work
• Describe the place you feel most relaxed
• Describe one of your friends and what you like about them
• Describe your car
• Talk about things you did for fun as a child
• Talk about things you do for fun now
• Describe in excrutiating detail how you got here today
• Describe what you ate for breakfast (or lunch, or dinner) today
• Describe two objects in your living room and how they got there
• Describe the contents of your refridgerator
• Etc, etc. Add your own ideas by commenting! (The comment link is, strangely, up at the top of the post).

I realize that my good friend DanDan already created a post somewhat covering Frosh Week in university. But I am posting this to explain a little more about my experience with Frosh Week. To start off, I expected my experience to be half-decent and completely ambiguous. To be surrounded by nothing but children who are complete brats and antisocial outcasts. I had also expected Frosh Week to be one big get together of all the first-years to participate in a few activities and call it a day. My misconceptions were soon met with a world completely different from what I had never imagined.

Frosh Week was absolutely amazing. It is the best week I have ever lived in my life. There have been quite amazing experiences in my life (just like everyone else), but this tops the cake. I have met the most active and creative people in my life. Those who are here to study, those who are here to have fun, and those who are here because this is where life has led them. I have met all kinds of people and yet none of them are anything like what I had expected them to be. The students so far are very considerate and friendly. And this I can account to the reason that everyone is in the same boat and does not know the person next to them.

To have me realize how fun Frosh Week has been, I must hand it to my Icebreakers. Not sure if everyone knows who an Icebreaker is, but these are senior students who are volunteering their time for a week to help first-year students get used to the university campus and make new friends. I was part of one of the four teams at my campus in Brantford, the Green Zombies. The first few days were full of activities from  8 AM in the morning to 9 at night (sometimes until midnight). The Icebreakers introduced cheers and fun-filled teamwork to allow us first-years to get together and befriend each other. The vast network I made thanks to the hard work of the Icebreakers has been astounding. I made more friends in a week than I made alone throughout one year of highschool.

It is absolutely amazing to know what kind of backgrounds these students come from. Of course, I am just stating my experience at the moment. Knowing what kind of position all of us as students are, I’ve adopted an extremely outgoing attitude, one much higher than I had in high school to meet everyone and befriend such students. This attitude has really helped me in creating fruitful conversations that may at the same time have created friendships I will hold for a long time.

Frosh Week wasn’t all fun and games. Well, it was. But the fun and games included a program called “Shinerama” (http://ccff.ca/page.asp?id=33) in which us as first-years who participated in Frosh Week were raising money for Cystic Fibrosis. The complete campus at Brantford raised over $12, 000! For a small first year population, this was a truly epic achievement. The students at this campus realized how important these fund raising activities are and gave it their all. I know I did. Thanks to this excellent experience, I have so many amazing people. Of course, I am here and there with all of them and am unable to be with them at all times. But I am able to know they aren’t too far. Living on residence is an amazing experience itself.

This week has had situations where only teamwork was able to break through any obstacles and being hostile with each other was not an option. Being friendly and open was the one way to get to know other people – and an antisocial behaviour has been very rare to see, and that is a very good thing. Tomorrow, I am going to class and hope to make even more bonds with people – and strengthen the ones I have just recently made.

“Do one thing everyday that scares you.”

- Baz Luhrmann (Sunscreen”)

You know, I don’t have a lot of experience reading men’s magazines.  Mostly b/c I am not a man!  And I get tired of reading the jocular buddy-buddy tone that infuses most articles (which is not to say there aren’t some good ones, like Maxim’s investigative piece on the suspicious deaths of women in the military.  Quite surprising coming from a borderline-pornographic magazine dedicated almost solely to the objectification of women…but I guess women aren’t as hot when they’ve been beaten to death by their boyfriends).  Sometimes I feel sorry for men, b/c they do not seem to have as many magazines as the ladies.  When I go to the gym, I can choose btwn. Cosmo and Glamour and Marie Claire and Redbook &c. &c to tell me that I’m not good enough and had better do some extra sit-ups.  And buy some new eyeshadow.  Men need to feel inadequate too!  They deserve to be criticized for having puny muscles and poor grooming, and offered the appropriate products to alleviate those ills!

And then there’s those crazy women!  They are so complicated!  They keep talking about “feelings” and “taking responsibility.”  And what’s w/ all the eyeshadow?  Why is it all the same color?  What’s a guy to do?  Never fear!  Men’s Health has come to your rescue.  While it may not be able to explain women, it can help you CONFUSE them.  Thus distracted, they will be unable to use their wiles on you.  To this end, Men’s Health (which boasts a circulation of 1 million +, making it the second most popular men’s magazine in the country) has provided a list of ways to “seduce her in 10 minutes.”

OH MY GOD, I thought.  THEY KNOW ABOUT THE POLAR BEARS.  Except, oh, wait never mind.  Forget I said that.  Here are a few highlights from the actual article, along w/ a few editorial comments from Yours Truly, who happens to be A Woman, and thus feels qualified to comment!

1. Your Approach
Her brain quickly vets your height and facial symmetry the moment you meet. Now convince her of your character. Approach confidently; don’t pretend to bump into her. “Men tend to talk to each other at angles to avoid confrontation,” says Rutgers University anthropologist Helen Fisher, Ph.D., author ofWhy We Love. “But women face each other head-on and maintain eye contact.”

So, dude, you have to be handsome.  That’s what “symmetrical” means.  Do they make male eyeshadow?  You’d better get some.  Also, don’t sneak up behind her, even if your bros do it all the time and think it’s HILARIOUS.  Believe it or not, that’s a turn-off!  Crazy, right?  But it must be true–the anthropology lady said so!

2. Your Introduction
A good handshake isn’t a shortcut to her bed, but a bad one can doom you. Hands are loaded with tactile nerves, and people with weak, clammy handshakes were perceived as shy and neurotic in a recent University of Alabama study. So hold your drink in your left hand and give her a firm but not bone-crushing grasp. Pay attention to her grip as well: The same study showed that women who give firmer handshakes tend to be more adventurous.

If you have a crappy handshake, no one will EVER love you.  EVER.  Also, if you are left-handed!  That’s the bad news.  You know, I was taught that a firm handshake makes a person seem more assertive and confident, and made people take her more seriously.  But ACTUALLY it’s lady-code for “I’m a slut!”  WHO KNEW?

3. Your Voice
The most attractive women prefer deep-voiced men, according to a recent study by Scottish researchers. It suggests high testosterone levels, a sign of strength and reproductive prowess. Push out air with your diaphragm, not your throat. This lengthens the column of air moving past your vocal cords. “It’s like a built-in subwoofer,” says voice coach Joanne Joella.

I think you know what you need to do.  Yep, start taking steroids.  And if she’s not attracted to your newly deepened voice, it’s okay, b/c she’s probably ugly!

4. Your Icebreaker
Say something that will draw out details about her. “Your friends seem nice—how did you get to know them?” is a compliment and a window into her past. Forming a bond will release dopamine, a mood booster in her brain. Show off your interest with verbal nods of agreement (“uh-huh,” “go on”), adds Alex Pentland, Ph.D., an MIT professor….

The ability to convincingly feign interest is an important part of seduction; obviously w/e she’s saying won’t actually be interesting.  Put yourself on autopilot and imagine her naked instead.  Alternatively, you can just slip her some L-DOPA in order to simulate that mood-bosting effect; no conversation required!  Better still, one of the documented side-effects is excessive libido!  Just get out of there before the other ones (including hair loss and gastrointestinal bleeding) kick in.

5. Your Conversation
We all know to ask lots of questions and to avoid flat-out boasting. But don’t sell yourself short. “Women listen very carefully for signs of status and wealth,” says Fisher….Another crucial conversation tip: Talk at the same pace she does and she’ll consider you intelligent, kind, con-fident, and ambitious, according to a University of Maryland study.

Haha, women are so shallow!  Also, stupid.  Make sure to talk slowly and use small words, so she doesn’t think you’re a meanie (that’s ladyspeak for condescending snarge).

6. Your Body Language
Attraction causes couples to mirror each other’s body language. But don’t be overeager to connect. Stay relaxed and let her set the tone, says Lisa Clampett, founder of the Matchmaking Institute. Fidgeting conveys nervousness and triggers the empathetic release of stress chemicals in her brain….

Whatever you do, don’t release the stress chemicals.  She might want to talk about her feelings!

7. Your Deal Closer
If you’ve made the right sort of first impression, she might be wondering how you are in bed. “Consciously or not,” says Fisher, “she’s looking for signs that you’re patient and sensitive to the ways her body finds pleasure.” So talk her through the jukebox options….

Oh yeah.  SHE thought she was asking you about the latest RHCP album.  You know better.

The article ends after number 7, but I think they have left out a v. important thing.  Number 8: Act like a vampire!  We all know how much the ladies love those nocturnal men of mystery.  So buy a cape!  Slather your chin w/ fake blood (ketchup and warm water will do in a pinch).  Loom creepily in dark corners and claim sensitivity to the light.  The ladies will be lining up in no time.

It comes as a relief to see that women aren’t the only ones getting ludicrous romantic advice.  It’s just too bad that all the magazine seeks to reduce the subtle alchemy that characterizes the interaction btwn. to people into some standard recipe for success.  What this advice boils down to is tips on how to pretend to connect w/ someone in order to trick her into thinking you care about her, so that she’ll sleep w/ you.  It sounds mercenary, and it is.  You know what else it is?  Wrong.

….. don’t get excited, it’s not “my” news, but just News. From the North.

Arctic Shipping

Climate change is altering the Arctic. Year round sea ice is fast disappearing; this once permanent ice pack has thinned over two feet in the past four years. Heading into these increasingly ice-free and turbulent ses is an unprecedented wave of new ship traffic, including cruise ships, oil gas and mining vessels, commercial, research and fishing boats.

In 2007, Canada’s Northwest Passage – connecting the Atlantic and Pacific through the islands just below the North Pole – opened for the first time. Last year, 62 ships used the passage, most for regional shipping but a few traveling the entire distance.

Among the recommendations from the Arctic Marine Shipping Assessment study, is prevention of another Exxon Valdez disaster. The northern waters of Alaska’s Prince William Sound still suffer from the 11 million gallons of oil spilled by the tanker in 1989.

Furthermore, the snow should stay white. That’s right folks, no more pissing in the snow. Oh, and no more burning dirty fuel in ships thank you very much. It increases melting when the black carbon settles on snow and ice. So does urine. Apparently. Scientists recently concluded that black carbon (not piss) and smog cause almost 50% of warming in the Arctic.

For the sake of the Arctic and its people, we need to tightly regulate the growth of ship traffic in the Arctic.

The Mackenzie Valley Highway

Still up in the air.

Deh Cho Bridge delayed by a year

Although I have yet to drive the 14 hours south to Edmonton (Yellowknife’s closest city), the bridge will solve Yellowknife’s isolation problem (to a degree) by allowing travel across the Mackenzie River during the break-up period where the ice road is unusable and the ferry can’t yet get through the ice.

Same old story, contractor problems. It’s now predicted to open in the fall of 2011. Watch this space.

Few NWT fires

The annual NWT forest fires have almost failed to show up this year. Which reminds me: “But, Yellowknife has amazing summers” everyone told us during the bone chilling winter. Our first summer here and one of the worst in memory for most people I’ve spoken to.

As of July 31, there have only been 26 wildland fires in the NWT, outside of national parks – burning a total of 8 square kilometres. Which is nothing when you think the the NWT is 1,140,835 square kilometres in size (New Zealand being a mere 268,680 square kilometres in total by comparison).

Feds need to partner with NWT

The federal government’s recent announcement of its Northern Strategy was released with consultation with the territorial government (GNWT). News reports from Ottawa say the North is one of the governments top priorities. Thanks for letting us know, Stephen.

Icebreakers are the key to the feds strategy.

Never mind the North’s economic development, access to remote communities, and sustainable energy. Icebreakers are pretty cool though. I spent 10 days on one in the sub Antarctic. It had a bar and the Russian crew served up delicious meals, but I digress.

Election rules “a joke”

Some Fort Good Hope residents are calling for electoral reform after their chief was chosen by ballot draw – after the top two candidates both received 64 votes each. A tie, hmm what shall we do? An arm wrestle? A cage fight? Who can get to the highest level in a game of Pac Man? No, names were drawn out of a hat. Yawn. My ears (taringas) pricked up when I heard New Zealand being mentioned on CBC North. Apparently Maori also do a hat draw when elections tied.

Harper to come North

That’s right folks, old Stevo is heading to the Knife. I wonder if he’ll dine at the Wildcat, or have a brew at the Gold Range.

Nah, I reckon he’d be more of a Black Knight man. He better get there early if it’s a Wednesday – wings night after all. It’s a shame he missed Godson DJing at Twist last night – it was great.

Monster in the net

George Kennedy of Deline has set a new world record for the largest trout ever caught. 84 pounds and 49 inches long. I wonder if it tastes old? They’re gonna mount it on a wall. That’s one big fish.

Deline is located on the shore of Great Bear Lake – which is where the uranium was mined for the Hiroshima nuclear bomb. The locals didn’t know that their uranium was to be used for mass destruction and have apologised to Japan. But I wonder if all the uranium makes the trout grow massive.

Mine plant won’t be in the North

The company developing a gold-cobalt-bismuth-copper mine near Whati has announced it’s moving part of the mine’s process facility south. The move is to alleviate concerns among Tlicho elders about possible contamination of the local water supply. Haven’t they heard of bottled water? I’m kidding.

While part of me says, good on you elders, another part says, if the mine was to treat the water to mitigate any contamination – as they said they would – why send them south. They rape and pilidge the land and the economic benefits head south along with all that useful gold, cobalt, bismuth and copper. I mean come on, they were out of bismuth at the local supermarket this week.

With the legacy of abandoned mines in the NWT it’s no wonder these elders are jubious of the mines promises to maintain the environment.

I’m sure all those aspiring hydrometallurgists in Whati are gutted.

And finally, ’80’s Model GMC pick-up truck for sale. This truck needs some minor work…a little TLC, but it runs all the same. Asking $500.

Tempting. Maybe when they finish the bridge?

I was facilitating a full-day orientation leader training recently and an orientation leader asked me how to get a group’s focus back without yelling at them. That is an excellent question and one that comes into play often- whether you’re doing an icebreaker with 500 new students or you’re running a committee meeting of 8.

The worst thing one can do is yell at them to, “Be quiet!” “Stop talking!” or even “SHUT UP!” It’s hard to believe but I’ve heard the latter said by experienced people. Not only is it demeaning, but it’s disrespectful. What you want to avoid is “teacher mode.” This is the stereotypical high school teacher who uses yelling and intimidation as a way to maintain order in the classroom. People have had enough of that in their lifetime and if they get just a whiff of “teacher mode” they can do anything from become stoic to open hostility.

Here are the top 5 techniques I use to bring the focus back:

1. If you can hear me…

If you can hear me clap 3 times…if you can hear me snap 4 times…if you can hear me stomp 3 times…

This works great, especially with larger groups. You don’t have to say it very loudly. The first time you do it, only a few people closer to you will clap. That sound will get the next wave of people’s attention and they will snap with the next round. And using the ripple effect, the whole group tunes in. I’ve gotten the attention of 800 yelling and screaming new students without raising my voice louder than normal conversational tone (on a microphone of course). It’s magic when it’s done right.

Some other examples to use include…point your elbow at the ceiling (or the wall, or person next to you)…jump 3 times…howl like a wolf or the team mascot ( I’d love to hear this from the UC Santa Cruz Banana Slugs!).

One last example that sounds very cool in large groups is…if you can hear me say, shhhhhhh. Try it and listen for yourself.

One more thing; it helps if you give a number of times to do it. If you just say, “If you can hear me, clap”, people get confused.

2. Echo clap

This works similar to, “if you can hear me”. Put simply; you clap and they copy your clap. It’s hard to describe in words – but you might clap 5 times similar to…clap, clap, then three quick claps. After you clap, wait for them to respond. At first you may only get a couple of people, but immediately go into a different clap variation and more people will catch on. I don’t ever explain how to do this to the group, but if you feel you must, then don’t say anything beyond, “repeat after me.” Any more than that and it will confuse the issue.

3. Clap 7 times

This is a variation of the echo clap. All you say is, “Clap 7 times all together. Ready…and…” Then clap 7 times and count to yourself, not out loud. It’s very gratifying when you end at 7 and there are no extra claps. If there are extra claps then right away repeat the directions and start clapping. If they get it all together then attempt 15 claps. I usually don’t go higher than that but feel free.

4. Noisemakers

This is very straightforward. Use something that makes loud noise to get their attention back. It’s important not to use something that is very annoying like a whistle used by referees – unless you can make new and unusual sounds with it. It’s helpful that you explain upfront what the noisemaker is and the expectations. “When you hear this sound, “tweet,” you’d discover that by magic your mouth goes closed and your focus comes to the front of the room.” Have fun with it and don’t take yourself too seriously.

Other noisemakers could be a train whistle, duck call, warbling bird whistles, and even musical instruments. I’ve used a harmonica in the past. I don’t really know how to play it but I just jam and they bring their focus back and laugh at me. It’s all in good fun.

5. Cut the music

I abruptly stop the music to jar people’s attention. While they’re talking I turn up the music louder and louder. This gets some people’s attention. They think, “This music is so loud I can’t hear my partner. I wonder what’s going on.” and they look up front. Then I abruptly cut the music by pushing pause or stop – not by turning it down. The other half of the group that didn’t get the music being turned up suddenly realizes how loud they were talking and turn to face you.

Note: Please be aware that these are gimmicks to get the attention back. If you use the same technique over and over and over and over, the participants will get sick of it – and you. Use them sparingly.

So what do you do in the mean time so they don’t get annoyed by repeated use? The most common technique I use is to just say, “find a place to pause,” or “please pause”. I don’t need to say it too loud and after a few times they come to expect it and go quiet quicker with every use. It’s even more effective with the use of music. Right after you cut the music, speak into that lull in conversation.

Saying ‘pause’ is much more effective than saying ‘stop.’ Rarely do people stop talking right away, so by saying ‘stop,’ you’ve just put people in the wrong and that can create resistance.

So there are a few ideas to get you started. I’m confident that with your creativity applied you can come up with some fun ideas and variations of your own. For those creative types who have some new ideas, please share your brilliance [or not so brilliance- we’ll still love you] with us by commenting below. Two heads are better than one…and 50 are better than two. It’d be great to hear from you.

Troy

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

]]> http://learningproducts.wordpress.com/2009/07/20/link-for-team-activities/ Mon, 20 Jul 2009 15:13:25 +0000 Angel Buster http://learningproducts.wordpress.com/2009/07/20/link-for-team-activities/ http://partyindaville.wordpress.com/2009/07/10/parties-for-071009/ Fri, 10 Jul 2009 21:07:00 +0000 Charlie Hustle http://partyindaville.wordpress.com/2009/07/10/parties-for-071009/ http://networkingpro.wordpress.com/2009/07/08/fb-friend-fridays/ Wed, 08 Jul 2009 16:55:12 +0000 networkingpro http://networkingpro.wordpress.com/2009/07/08/fb-friend-fridays/

Facebook Friend Fridays.

I want to tell everyone about a new thing I came up with called FB Friend Friday but first I have to review the last event I went to, my first “Music on the Waterfront” last Thursday.  The event is hosted by the Boise Business Co-Op and it features live music by a local band, food, drinks, and networking every Thursday night.  I thought the atmosphere was great and the Reggae band was amazing.  This event has great potential to be a success if they can manage to get the word out and boost the participation.  I will definitely go back as often as I can this summer and recommend it to everyone to go at least once.

Drum Roll….Please join me in spreading FB Friend Friday!  Facebook Friend Friday or just Friend Friday is similar to Follow Friday on Twitter.  Follow Friday using Twitter is a  recommendation to all you followers of a few people you are following by tweeting there handles out.  How is it going to work on Facebook?  When you go to a friends profile page and scroll to the bottom in the left hand corner there are options to suggest friends, remove from friends, or Share.  Simply click on the Share button and post the friend to your wall with a message about why someone would want to add that person as a friend.  It’s your chance to help build a friends network on FB and give them a free commercial.  I recommend you only do one friend on Friday so it doesn’t come across as friend spamming, but its up to you.

Upcoming Networkingpro events:

Music on the Waterfront at Lake Harbor every Thursday Night from 5-8pm

Boise IcebreakersJuly 14th at the Double Tree Parkcenter 6-9pm

Ultra Clean Smokeout July 15th at Ultra Clean 11:30am-2pm  Lunch Provided

Network, Expand, Create, Grow!