According to Lachezar Filipov of the Bulgarian Space Research Institute, questions the agency beamed into space are being answered by the aliens.

The Bulgarian researchers are now analysing pictograms contained in 150 crop circles which have appeared around the globe in the past year.
Even then, we might not see eye-to-eye with them, he warned. Referring to our interference with nature, he said: ‘Extraterrestrials are critical of people’s amoral behaviour.’

I always figured when we made alien contact they would look at us like we’re total idiots. What are their thoughts on gay marriage or for-profit health care? Got a pictogram for that?

Enjoy.

Obama Bows…

via

So the decision is in. Or rather, we stumbled across the decision. A small lump sum muscled its way into our bank account unannounced. It was labelled “Deposit Scheme”. And the numbers were wrong. They’d given him half the disputed amount. That’s nearly 500 quid. As far as we can tell, that’s 500 quid for a screw for the oven and some paint.

We rang them, obviously, the deposit people. And they said they “knew nothing”. Of course, why would they? “Ring the agents” they said. And they went back to downloading porn and eating Skips with big clammy fat hands oiled with the hand cream in the toilets paid for my the tax money they are given to do FUCK ALL when asked to adjudicate people’s deposit disputes

It’s no surprise, you know, that the amount is roughly half. They probably think it’s clever. Not enough to piss either person off enough for them to complain. 50:50. That’s fair. Yeah, caus that’s the sort of intelligence we are working with here. The TDS seems to be some sub-species of human intelligence where they think that despite having unarguable documentary proof that we did not owe any money and were due our entire deposit back, a 50:50 arrangement is fair.

It’s not

Because our ex-landlord is a scar along the centre of his head away from being a massive penis. Actually, fuck it, he is still a massive penis, whether he actually resembles one or not (which he sort of does, minus a scar along the centre of his head). HE ignored every rule in the contract and then added some new rules for his own fun. He’s a massive cunt.

But the options, alas, are limited. We are bound by what the half-brains at TDS decided. Of course, there are options…

1 Find the ex-landlord and egg his face. Ok, so we wouldn’t have any money back, but I’d have a massive fucking smile on my face.

2 Complain to the TDS. That would be like asking an X-Factor contestant to quantify there effort in a percentage less than 100%. Pretty fucking pointless.

3 Take them to court. All of them. Well, yes, that would be lovely, but the only winner here would be the lawyers who would be able to buy a nice new merc in which to fuck prostitutes.

4 Cry. And collect the tears to drown the ex-landlord. Tempting, but the saltiness of my tears and proliferation of gusty wind may mean quick evaporation by the time I found him and all I’d have left was some mushy salt crystals. Oh, and men don’t cry innit.

5 Put up with it and get on with my life. Ah the higher ground. So unsatisfying. And not even really higher ground. People are wrong, childish impulsive insults are much more appropriate than a David Mitchell-esque witty comment and a purposeful walk in the opposite direction. Shouting twat and throwing someone the finger is the more adult response. Surely

In the end of course the only thing I am likely to do is live out revenge fantasies on this blog and probably get locked up under some obscure terrorist legislation before being deported to the US of A for some interrogation and jail time. Caus that’s how the world works these days.

The world sucks. And my ex-landlord is the lucky cock it’s sucking.

NU CRED ca cineva poate avea incredere in clipul ala dat de cei de la Gardianul. Eu sunt suporter Basescu declarat dar nu are nici o legatura cu asta… Exemplu mai clasic si mai simplu de manipulare nu am vazut de cand sunt, chiar sunteti picati din cer? Nu ati vazut nici un film in viata voastra, nu ati auzit de cuvantul “trucaj” niciodata, nu aveti nici macar un pic de discernamant? Daca nu il vreti pe Basescu votati Geoana dar macar sa o faceti pe baza unor argumente solide.

NU FII PROSTI, NU FITI USOR DE CONTROLAT.

1. My neighbours. All of them. I have no idea what they’re doing running around all night, having sex at the worst possible times or singing stupid latin songs early in the morning. Can’t they just disappear? At least try singing something more interesting (Pet Shop Boys? Morrissey?).

2. Feeling intimidated by important people, who end up being less important than you originally thought. Sometimes it may take you years to realise that.

3. Guilty feelings. Even when there’s no reason to feel guilty. There’s always a reason, though, right? Is there?

4. People who take ages to reply to messages, emails, phone calls. You know who you are! All those emails are written by real PEOPLE and real people have feelings and needs.

5. People with continuous coughing syndrome. Cough once, it’s human. Twice, it’s understood. Then you run out of excuses, mate. Why should I be near your germs? Go to the bathroom or try Halls Cough Drops.

6. Queues. Even the WORD queue is annoying! Enough said.

7. Chocolate products on offer. You can’t resist buying them and after eating them, you regret it.

8. Slow internet connections, not finding wireless networks when you really need them,  slow computers (like the ones you find in libraries) – I’d love to smash one of those someday. In a few words: technology going wrong!

9. Making the Buzzcocks famous song your life motto. Google it, if you can.

10. Spam emails. I don’t want hot dates and I certainly don’t need a penis enlargement!

11. iTunes shufflle/last.fm radio playing a song you hate at the moment you decide to move away from your computer. Now, why does that happen?

12. Coming up with an idea for a great experiment/research/study/book/movie, only to find out that someone has done it months/years/centuries before you. Thanks for nothing, Google.

13. People whining about little things and end up making blogposts about it. Oh… Wait a sec…!

The Toronto Humane Society has a no-kill policy.  As a result, they’ve often been causing more harm than good.

Cruelty charges have finally been made six months after the Globe and Mail’s investigation into cruelty at the shelter came to light.   Police  arrested and charged the THS’s president, chief veterinarian and three other senior staff members.

The pictures are gruesome.   Animals covered in feces.   Cats so sick with disease they have oozing eyes or bleeding ears.  As a friend said, those arrested should be put in small cages with no food, water or toilet facilities for a day or two so they can see how it feels.

Maybe Sarah McLachlan can sing a song for them.

Link:  Toronto Humane Society officials arrested, charged with cruelty to animals – The Globe and Mail.

Peter Davis

THIS is how you knock down a door…

And if this is what we are up against, I shouldn’t worry…

Ok, so let me get this straight.

I have to nearly undress to go through a metal detector at the airport. I daily get interrogated by U.S. Marshalls when I come through the federal building where I work. I actually once had my Starbucks coffee cup inspected (not kidding).

Oh, but this couple can just stroll all up in a party with the president of the United States. No invitation. No background check. No clearance. No one inspecting THEIR cup of coffee. They can take photos with the Vice President and Chief of Staff. They can post pictures from the party on Facebook.

I on the other hand can’t bring my Blackberry into the Federal Building WHERE I HAPPEN TO WORK BY THE WAY because it has a camera on it.

Are you freaking kidding me?

This is the second high profile occasion where the Secret Service has slipped up. The most recent was when the Iraqi journalist threw shoes at former President Bush.

What are you guys doing? I get searched like a terrorist to enter a building thousands or miles away from the president, but these people can walk right in.  Am I missing something here?

When the inevitable happens and I finally take control of this planet we like to call Earth (do we actually like to? Strange saying..) these are the things I’m going to do to make the world a better place:

• Consider a new name for Earth that we DO like to call it
• Ban beards. Just why? They’re ewwy!
• I’d meet Taylor Lautner. I’d only have to meet him once for him to fall in love with me, haha (I wish)
• Every book I love will be made into a TV show/Film
• Being Scottish will be illegal
• Flying will be free (for people I like)
• Everyone will say hello and goodbye with a hug
• Anyone I don’t like get’s sent to Fiji
• I’ll build a bridge between the UK and USA with one giant flat (and uber fast) esculator thing along it so you just have to stand there
• Scales will be illegal – who cares how much you weigh?
• OAPs and children will not be allowed to go to town when I am
• My favourite TV shows will run continuously (every week) without hiatus or season breaks until I say so
• All dance/trance/house/rnb will be banned
• Chivalry will be law, but there will be clear guidelines on the difference between chivalry and sexism
• All bombs/guns/explosives will be destroyed and anyone wanting to fight must do so (with my permission) using swords and bow and arrows
• Karma will be MADE to happen
• No one is allowed to say they don’t like something unless they have tried it. Properly.
• Arguing with me would result in death
• All idiots will be prosecuted
• I would have one of every item of clothing/shoes in Topshop, Bershka, H&M, Dorothy Perkins, Miss Selfridge, Republic, River Island etc and someone to help me pick what to wear each day
• Anyone who annoys me while I’m driving will have their licence removed. For life.
• All hot lads must play either guitar/bass/drums and know how to ride a motorbike
• All cities will be removed from Africa, people from there will be given the option of a house in a different country or staying there and living in a tribal hut
• People who are bosses/supervisors/managers will be taught that they are only ‘higher’ during working hours and must consider than the rest of the time they’re no better than ‘their staff’ and should therefore treat everyone with respect within working hours too. Or it may come back to bite them in the arse.
• The whole ’sleep at night’ convention will be removed and the world will be constantly in motion with people sleeping whenever they want instead
• Friday and Monday will become parts of the weekend
• Everyone must read my blog. Or be punished.

That’s all I can think of for now. My world sounds pretty darn nifty, doesn’t it? Have a song that matches. Take That – Rule The World ♫ http://blip.fm/~gvp9n Enjoy!

Since the lamestream media is refusing to cover this, I must endeavor to bring forth a multitude of sources on the issue of the GLOBAL WARMING SCAM!

CRU’s Source Code: Climategate Uncovered
By Marc Sheppard

As the evidence of climate fraud at the University of East Anglia’s prestigious Climactic Research Unit (CRU) continues to mount, those who’ve been caught green-handed continue to parry their due opprobrium and comeuppance, thanks primarily to a dead-silent mainstream media.  But should the hubris and duplicity evident in the emails of those whose millennial temperature charts literally fuel the warming alarmism movement somehow fail to convince the world of the scam that’s been perpetrated upon it, certainly these revelations of the fraud cooked into the computer programs that create such charts will.

First — Let’s briefly review a few pertinent details.

We reported on Saturday that among the most revealing of the “hacked” emails released last week was one dated November 1999, in which CRU chief PD Jones wrote these words to Hockey-Stick-Team leaders Michael Mann, Raymond Bradley and Malcolm Hughes:

“I’ve just completed Mike’s Nature trick of adding in the real temps to each series for the last 20 years (ie from 1981 onwards) amd (sic) from 1961 for Keith’s to hide the decline.”

Predictably, the suggestion of a climate-related data-adjusting “trick” being employed by such alarmist bellwethers 10 years ago instantly raised more than a few eyebrows.  And with similar alacrity, the Big Green Scare Machine shifted into CYA gear.

More…

Climate Fraud and the Environmental Agenda
By J.R. Dunn

The debate on environmentalism — specifically as regards the environmental movement itself — has been marked by confusion since the beginning. Criticism of environmentalist thinking tends to confuse means with goals. Environmentalist reforms, however they are presented and whatever they may involve, are simply means of pushing forward the Green agenda. As for the goals inherent in that agenda… they are something else entirely.

We see this misapprehension at work today in the debate concerning renewable power sources. Critics continually object that renewables such as wind, solar, and hydroelectric power simply can’t provide enough energy to run a modern industrial society. While figures differ, all forms of renewable energy added together don’t break into the double digits of what is required to support an advanced economy like that of the U.S. The general consensus lies at around 3 to 5%. It currently stands at roughly two-thirds of 1% — yes, you read that right. Much time is spent pointing this out, as if the Greens don’t realize it. Of course they do — in fact, that’s the entire point.

More

Acorning the Climate Change Movement
By Mark J. Fitzgibbons

The climate change movement may have been caught in its first ACORN moment, with the publication of emails suggesting global warming data has been manipulated or suppressed.

The University of East Anglia’s Climate Research Unit (CRU) email system was hacked, and it appears fraud as a political strategy may not be limited to ACORN’s community organizing. As with ACORN, rest assured, it won’t be the political or big media establishments that capture the next big evidentiary breakthroughs in “Climategate.”

Global warmists apparently don’t find destroying evidence offensive to their “science.” Similarly, ACORN doesn’t  seem fettered by ethics. Not even a week apart from the breaking news of Climategate, BigGovernment.com reported that the San Diego ACORN office was caught on film literally dumping documents even though it is facing investigation.

More…

Global Warming With the Lid Off
The emails that reveal an effort to hide the truth about climate science.
WSJ

‘The two MMs have been after the CRU station data for years. If they ever hear there is a Freedom of Information Act now in the U.K., I think I’ll delete the file rather than send to anyone. . . . We also have a data protection act, which I will hide behind.”

So apparently wrote Phil Jones, director of the University of East Anglia’s Climate Research Unit (CRU) and one of the world’s leading climate scientists, in a 2005 email to “Mike.” Judging by the email thread, this refers to Michael Mann, director of the Pennsylvania State University’s Earth System Science Center. We found this nugget among the more than 3,000 emails and documents released last week after CRU’s servers were hacked and messages among some of the world’s most influential climatologists were published on the Internet.

More…

Do they take the cash or booze that was in there? No, they took a bag full of papers and books. Idiots.

Just got hit by a scooter. Luckily got off with only a scare, bruises on one leg and arm and a bike that needs to be repaired. Could have been a lot worse as I wasn’t wearing a helmet!

The idiot was driving his stupid, lame-ass scooter drunk with a friend in the back. And he was close 30!!! He probably broke his leg, dislocated his knee or something like that. He was pale with pain…I’m having a really hard time feeling sorry for the asshole…The friend couldn’t have been worse off the me as he got up and took to the woods – that’s the spirit; don’t worry someone else will call the ambulance for your friend and see that he stays conscious. Really, I can’t believe these people!

Oh, and did I mention, I was on the cross walk and the light was green. Even the police said that there was no way he could have thought that it was his turn to go (as the lights were red for all motor vehicles). Drunk, drunk, drunkety, drunk – that’s the only reason – well, not the only, being an idiot did most likely play its part.

The police men were nice though

People, don’t drink and drive!!!! Pretty please!

Michelle Obama in a Naeem Khan dress at the “State Dinner” for India’s Prime Minister on November 24, 2009.

There is much to criticize about the way this classless moron dealt with this dinner, but for the very first time, I would like to compliment her on her choice of dress – it is stunningly beautiful – and they were even able to tape her boobs so that it appears that she has some.  Normally, the woman looks like she raided her girls closets with the inappropriate clothing she wears – of course her kids dress like they get to pick out of the missionary barrel, so I guess it isn’t as bad as their closets, but usually the clothes are more appropriate for that age group.

Snarling face – she just can’t help it…

India’s Prime Minister Manmohan Singh and his wife were treated to the “first State Dinner” of the Obama presidency – except, like everything else the Obama’s do, that wasn’t true.  A “State Dinner” is for the Head of State.  The President of India is the Head of State – the Prime Minister is not. Of course, if you google Obama ‘State Dinner’, you will find they called the Governor’s Dinner a State Dinner, too.

And, like everything the Obama’s do, they had to go overboard to set some sort of record.  They invited so many celebrities that they had to set up a tent on the lawn to house the crowds.  The China settings (Bush China, 320 place settings, Clinton China 300 settings) had to be mixed and matched, and supplemented with the Eisenhower serving dishes to accommodate all of the people they invited.  The dinner was not a taste of America – they bowed at the waist and made fake Indian food.  I can guarantee that when other countries host dinners, they don’t make American food for an American president.  To annoy her White House staff, once again, Michelle brought in a “guest chef” to do the cooking.  My favorite big lie is that ‘the garden’ produced the arugula for that crowd – IF it were growing season, that garden was never large enough to produce that much arugula, especially at one time.   Most Americans are so far removed from the farm that they believe this crap.  Then the color scheme of green and purple – the greens did not match – throwing olives and emeralds together – with purple flowers.  Michelle said to evoke the peacocks of India.  Has Michelle ever seen a peacock?  I’ve been around a lot of peacocks in my life and purple is not a color on a peacock. but, once again, why wasn’t she evoking AMERICA and THANKSGIVING?

Can we get a price tag on this arrogant extravaganza?

Classless Morons.  I can hardly wait for Christmas.

Update – In keeping with the Hollywood Hype of the Obama’s, some reality TV people bluffed their way in to what should have been about the most secure place in our country… Reality TV and the Obama’s – fits somehow.

A slightly misleading title as I actually mean to say well done to Easyjet for deciding to pulp all 300,000 of the latest editions of its in-flight magazine Easyjet Traveller and naming the advertising agency, INK, involved in producing the offending feature.

The people who put together the magazine decided it would be a good idea to use the Berlin Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe as a location for a fashion shoot.

After Easyjet received complaints from Jewish and Israeli passengers, INK issued a statement saying the feature (a fashion feature) was meant to be educational. Hopefully (however unlikely) this will make people in that most vacuous industry (fashion, not air travel) think twice about allowing the aesthetic to rule all.

(By the way, with the publicity this has generated, we can all safely assume that Ryanair will probably be publishing the article in full, although it will be online only and you’ll have to pay to print it off, then pay a surcharge to bring the paper it’s printed on on board, and an ink tax, despite the fact it’s your ink.)

I know I couldn’t have just read what I read, but indeed I did.

Fat people are fat because they are lazy. True or false?

Let me tell all  you skinny skanks a thing or ten. And yes if you have this sort of outlook, you do qualify as a skank. God created you just the way you are, NOT to walk around with a camera in an airport to run immediately to your blog to then BLAST people that are different. Be it fat, skinny, tall, short, dumpy, stupid, etc,… the stereo-types can go on and on. Can’t they? Was that an Amish gentlemen? Are you freaking joking me?

I mean WHO laid it out for YOU to judge others in such a harsh cruel manner? Who says you look “normal”, go ahead. Define normal for me. Please. Because apparently I have a huge misconception.

So as I read that post, I’m being told that my daughter is a fat lazy …. what else did she say?

I just read a so called “blog leader”, self proclaimed  from my view point. Take pictures of people of all ages, including teens and post their pictures on her blog for the purpose of other grown so called women to make fun of them! WTH? I’m in awe. I am truly dumbfounded.

Apparently since this pissed me off, I now qualify for being dubbed as a “sensitive whiny baby that doesn’t like a dose of reality that isn’t sugar coated in political correctness. <——–disclosure”

That. From a blogger that was featured on CNN for a drama fit. Horrah? Whatever. The  more I read, the more disgusted I am. She sports “ethical blogging”, and …. what the hell ever. Seriously. Where are there ANY ethics in the nonsense you just posted. I must be totally blinded by your blissful ignorance.

Let me tell you something, if you take a photo of one of MY kids to insult on your Mommy Blog, you are going to bark up the wrong tree. That is one of the most distasteful things I have seen anyone do. Well, you do lately.

Ok so, my daughter is over weight. She’s healthy, I dare you to call her a horse. Now, who wants to tell me she doesn’t eat healthy, she doesn’t exercise, blah blah blah, bull shit. Because I know better, and so do many, many others! In a time for our youth, where they struggle enough with peer pressure, and self esteem issues ……. I can’t find even a remote excuse for your ignorance. Fat people can lose weight, but hunny, you can’t hide from ignorant.

Define normal, because when I showed my husband this post, and a picture of you, he even agrees that it looks like your poor, poor face is misconstrued, or has some type of deformity.

Trisha-admin

November 24, 2009 | Permalink | Reply

ok, so i figured it out now. Everyone has a misconception of what a normal person is supposed to look like. Not a thin person, a NORMAL person. This is overweight for a teenager and not one person can admit that.

CHUBBY? No, chubby is what is on children between 8 and preteen before they get taller. This is fat.

Soda and mcdonalds.

The end.

I’m glad I made my post of What Beauty Means To Me, and am so glad I dropped out. I stand beside it 110%! Now can anyone else please tell me that the rest of the world / blogosphere isn’t THAT stupid?

Updating with others that are blogging in regards to this.

Other posts in regards to this.

A Blessed Mommy

MyLoonyverse

]]> http://1idvet.com/2009/11/24/obama-is-a-racist-2/ Wed, 25 Nov 2009 01:32:12 +0000 1idvet http://1idvet.com/2009/11/24/obama-is-a-racist-2/

Yep. You read that right. Obama is a racist. One of the worst kind.

Obama the Racist?
By Kevin Jackson

The question was recently posed to me, “Do you think Obama is a racist?”  I answered, “Obama is the best kind of racist to whites, but the worst kind of racist to blacks.”  My questioner was perplexed.

I began by explaining that Obama’s racism against whites is upfront, in your face racism, that he discussed in his book Dreams from My Father:

I ceased to advertise my mother’s race at the age of 12 or 13, when I began to suspect that by doing so I was ingratiating myself to whites.

More…

More on Sarah Palin and the fear that the left has of her.

The Wilding of Sarah Palin
By Robin of Berkeley

When I was in college, I read a book that changed my life.  It was Susan Brownmiller’s tome, Against Our Will:  Men, Women, and Rape, which explained rape as an act of power, not just lust.   What I found particularly chilling was the chapter on war — how rape is used to terrorize a population and destroy the enemy’s spirit.

While edifying, the book magnified the vulnerability I already felt as a female.   Fear of rape became a constant dread, and I sought a solution that would help shield me from danger.

More…

Related:

Sarah Palin and the low ebb of the cultural left
By Claude Sandroff

No serious observer or reader could ever label the former governor as our Pangloss of the North.  Sarah Palin’s view of politics and of life itself is maturely tragic, as it should be for a true conservative.

Starting with a broad ranging, 5,000-plus word Facebook Note, then her recent Hong Kong address to an international investment group, and in more detail in “Going Rogue,” she explains again and again that the very essence of “common sense conservatism” is a recognition of the limits placed on the mutability of human nature. Government can do only so much.  We have to figure out, as best we can, how to muddle through the rest.

Free speech silenced yet again. At two universities. I thought they were all for diverse thought, etc. What a load of BS. No wonder America is going down the path of destruction. All the college grads are morons. OK, maybe not all. The majority that come out of these indoctrination camps sure as hell are though.

More…

How can I NOT resist this quote when the burghers of the backwaters lined up this week to yet again worship at the moth-eaten, mad cow-diseased altar of Sarah Palin? According to the sly reporting of the New York Times, these people swore they would “take back their country” by doing everything in their power to get her into the White House. That they hadn’t read her new book or had any ideas what she would do if actually elected was beside the point.

Of course, if you purchase the secret redneck decoder ring (available at your local Wal-Mart), it all translates to: “Goddamn, what is this uppity Mooslim, Commie Socialist Nigra doing runnin’ MY country??? Lock away all the white wummin and get me my scopin’ rifle!”

Not unlike Barack Obama, Lincoln put up with this crap every single day of his political career until the nut cases indeed finally did him in. That quote – one of the few attributed to him that is dead on yet doesn’t soar – crystallizes the black exasperation he often felt. He represented a new paradigm: a bootstrapping backwoodsman with an intellectual’s temperament few people “got” until it was too late. The only previous President he had resembled to any degree was Andrew Jackson, like him a rural striver, but one fortunate enough to enjoy huge success as a commander during the War of 1812, and shrewd enough to exploit it for political gains. Otherwise, Jackson was just as hot-headed, paranoid and trigger-happy as his fellow Tennesseeans.

Indeed, Lincoln so alienated the Southern states that according to the eminent Civil War historian Shelby Foote, not even a “crank” redneck cast a vote for him in 1860. It’s fascinating that as recently as 50 years ago – when Foote used that term – that someone who thought Lincoln was fit for the presidency would be considered a crank.

Why am I bringing this up? Well, being one of the few mouth-smashing liberals in America, I believe it is time for the Sarah Palin rooters to leave the building. There is simply no rational explanation for their desire to elevate such a bumptious half-wit to such a powerful office. It only demonstrates this nation has too large an ignorant and prejudiced populace, one that refuses to be educated for its own good. Moreover, it will gladly use that ignorance to serve a malignant desire to imperil us all. At a time when there are simply too many short and long-term crises to solve, it would best serve the country to do what Lincoln did when he suspended habeus corpus during the Civil War – going beyond the Constitution in the short-term to preserve in the long-term.

Which is why I remembered the Great Emancipator’s quote, and why Russia would be the perfect destination for them. Here’s why:

1. Putin & Medvedev = Bush & Cheney…But Forever!

When George W. Bush said he looked Vladimir Putin in the eye in 2001 and was “able to get a sense of his soul,” it may have been the only intuitive observation of his entire presidency. Both men are glaringly alike: incurious, autocratic megalomaniacs who not only disdain the opposition, but believe it shouldn’t exist at all. Putin, as a matter fact, could be a template for the “unitary presidency,” that technocratic little term the neo-con fascists cobbled together during Bush’s first term as an excuse for marginalizing Congress and smashing the Constitution into rubble.

Vladmir Putin and Dmitry Medvedev's political relationship should calm all those recent Rooshan immigrants longing for the halcyon days of Bush and Cheney.

Putin was forced out of the presidency by term limits last year, but he assumed the presumably lesser prime minister’s role, with his dimwitted puppet Dmitry Medvedev assuming his old job. But really, everyone knows who’s calling the shots. Sound like a familiar relationship? Yet unlike the Bush/Cheney duet, these guys will have held power at least 16 years, and likely beyond that. This should be a very reassuring arrangement for the new arrivals.

2. The rich, and only the rich, are in charge

No bigger oligopoly exists on Earth than Roosha, where the only people who have the ears of politicians are the obscenely rich, and everyone else might as well live on Neptune – or else. Stepping out of line can still land you in one of those gulags Uncle Joe Stalin was so fond of. Indeed, only $150 annually is spent on healthcare per capita! Thousands of doctors have been laid off and hundreds of hospitals have been closed in recent years. It’s a right-winger’s dreamland: if you can get rich, God bless you. Otherwise, shut the fock up!!

3. They shoot journalists, don’t they?

The Committee to Protect Journalists announced in September that Russia was not only one of the most dangerous places on earth to ply the trade, but one of the worst at solving their murders. Witness Anna Politkoskayva, Russia’s equivalent of Dana Priest, the Washington Post reporter who broke the stories on the CIA’s secret “black sites.” After being unsuccessfully poisoned at least once, she was gunned down in the elevator of her apartment building in 2006. The killers have never been found; some low-level thugs were tried earlier this year, but acquitted. All those code words about the “mainstream media,” “media elite,” “liberal bias” and Fox News’ “Fair and Balanced” slogan boil down to a desire to slaughter anybody who tries to unearth the truth. You couldn’t find a better place to nurture such kindred spirits.

4. Nyet, we have no environment

Russia is in some parallel universe regarding environmental protections. Its factories belch unfiltered smoke, even the most rural portions of Siberia are covered with garbage, and everyone smokes. Oh, and no one – NO ONE – wears seatbelts, an amusing prospect where most of the roads are rutted mudtracks and little is spent to improve or even maintain them. A perfect home for all the naysayers who insist that global warming is a myth and that the government intrudes too much in their lives. And since the average life expectancy of a Russian is about 15 years less than it is for Americans, I will have to listen to them grumble about wanting to live free for significantly less time.

5. But Sarah May Still Visit!

Those departed compatriots of mine may still cast a wistful eye toward the Motherland as they adjust to their new life in Roosha, but have no fears. Sarah Palin always insisted she could see Roosha from her backyard. Assuming that is correct, you’ll have no problems stealing admiring glimpses of her. Of course, she won’t be able to hear you, but take comfort in the fact she never listened to you anyway. And since you’re doing this to make your country a better place to live, Honest Abe would no doubt be proud. If you ask me if it’s the right thing to do, I only have two words: You Betcha!

So one of my most used words happens to be Myspace.  I have this tic from the video of the girl getting caught after going on a date with a stranger from Myspace.  Her brother was laughing in the background whispering in a high frequence ‘myspace’ over and over.

It has no context and is randomly stated when no other word fits.  That properly describes my experience with Myspace.  Seriously is Myspace legitamite to anyone?  Maybe I’m just angry because the networking I have experienced on this website has been less than adequate.

Old Men:

One time I recieved a friendship request from a man probably in his late sixties who lived in Florida.  I questioned why he would extend this hand of kindness to a 16/17 year old individual who lived in NoWhere, Ohio.  However, through my powerful skills of deduction I decided it was because he was pervin all over my body.   Let’s just say the topless shot beside a boat and orientation: gay set it off.

Requested Denied:  Usually this means to stop contacting if you do not really know this person, unless you happen to be me friending Nick Lazzarini on facebook to try to stalk him (he is a celebrity and chose to give up his privacy).  However, he wasn’t and he continued to push.  Within my inbox he placed a message describing himself as an fun guy who happens to be a little older, but that just means there is a plethora of experiences to help me through my daily trials of life.  He also added a lot of young people come under his wing.

Wait, what experience could he give me? As an older gay male could he help me through understanding my own experience as a gay male.  At the age of 17, I decided he probably came out much later in life probably after a failed marriage charading as a cover up.  So what would he know about growing up gay in a small republican town?

I think he wanted to teach me how to use a camera and send them through across the world wide web so he could cum under his own wing.  REPORTED

Youth:

Youngsters seem to be attracted to myspace.  Their whole lives seem to be surronded around how many friends they have and how many comments they have on their pictures of them in the same pose.  And I have come to ruin their lives.

Incident: I usually get requests by young boys saying they think I’m so “sexy” and they are really tired of the boys their age.  I think they are just tired of not being allowed to mack on the boys their age because they aren’t gay or don’t know it yet.  This one boy did this to me.  However, he was actually really mean about it.  He said that he liked my profile pictures and felt attracted to boys, but that gay people were going to hell and I was too.

Okay, I know I don’t believe in Hell but my mom does so don’t even think about sending her baby to hell.   I purused through his myspace.  He seemed to update everyday commenting and receiving comments every day posting pictures sending those awful mass gifs to peoples comment walls.

REPORTED; myspace account deleted.  I hope he cried like that boy whose WOW account got deleted!

Myspace Shot:

‘Myspace shot’ refers to the angle of the picture taken and the pose of the subject:  Held Above with the head only slightly tilted upward and a Mary-kate and Ashley Olsen pought.

Usually seen with bangs for an emo aesthetic.

There will be at least 75 of photos of this style with varying color enhancements and hair accesories.

You know what I want to tell these people:

FUCK YOU, SMILES ARE FREE, CAMERAS HAVE A SELF PORTRAIT TIMER.

Crotch Shot:

Myspace is for sluts.  Don’t believe me put a provacative photo up and see how many more requests you get.  I used to like to go between the two to see how many people would re-request me after I switched to one of my more…. avant garde?… photos.  They don’t come back.

Don’t try to look for relationships on Myspace.  They probably have 4 STDS from other myspace correspondences and you will never get anyone who you would find attractive.

Studies have shown that individuals are attracted to individuals of a similar beauty status.  Not on Myspace give a man a digital mask and he will go after everyone.  I can’t even discuss the people who have tried to contact me.  but I’ll give you a hint: Ginger, Blind, Bad Teeth, Walmart.  I know you might get on me for that one, but I doubt you do any different.  There are long shots and then there are ain’t never gonna fucking happen. Learn the difference.

-EPF