According to various medical websites, such as the CDC, over 55% of Americans suffer from insomnia. Lucky me, I am one of those Americans. I can’t even begin to say how long I’ve felt like my sleeping patterns have been screwed up – maybe since high school? It sucks beyond belief and now, as I write this post, I keep having racing thoughts as usual about everything in my life.

I don’t want to go to work tomorrow. Why is he not talking to me? I have to call job sites to get interviews this week. Ugh, I have to pack more stuff. My GPA better not be below a 3.0. I wish I was home, even though I hate it for the most part. I hate being broke. I wish I didn’t have a stupid final in English on Thursday. I miss my friends. I hope I can make money off of my textbooks for this semester. 

That is just a sampling of every damn thought in my mind. As if finals week wasn’t hard enough, I can’t seem to shut my damn brain off. I’ve tried counting backwards, not eating too late, getting all of my chores or work done early, go to the gym, and bawling my eyes out until I’m too exhausted mentally to stay awake. This shit is ridiculous- for twenty years old, I shouldn’t be suffering from so much lack of sleep and stress. Apparently the past 4-6 years of all nighters, late nights out, finals, procrastination, anxiety and just young adult life in general have taken a toll on me and I am honestly afraid I will never be able to fix it.

No matter if I go to therapy, write down my feelings, unwind during the night to relax, manage my time better, or maybe take a freaking sleeping pill or… twelve… to knock me out, I am afraid I’ll just never be at peace in my mind to get to sleep faster. It’s not just me though right? Even though since starting college in Fall 2010, I’ve probably had 3-4 nights a week where I couldn’t sleep or fall asleep fast enough- no big deal. Sleep is for the weak right?

If anyone has other methods to ease a restless mind- please share. I’m hanging by a thin rope… either that or just make time fast forward to Saturday when I’ll be back home and sleeping in my big, comfortable queen sized bed.

Honestly,

McKenzie