been loving this song recently. even though i find some of foy’s stuff a bit repititive and just a lot of noise at times this is quite special. its even better live too so that’s why i put up the youtube version.

after boring sarah with it too much over the last month i thought i should share!

TO my dearest "wife"

Dearest Yajing,
It had been like 5mths since we last gathered tgt…but I had to miss tmr birthday party of urs! I really feel veri veri veri extremely bad!!! Knowing u for close to 4 yrs, i just got no better words to describe u as a super good, super encouraging “wife” i had!!! I can always share all my problems with u…n u will always return me with meaningful advice!!! I will try to make it up for ur birthday asap!!! and since u are like so free now we can meet more often!!! I really miss u badly…For now, i shall wish u all the best in ur future! not forgetting getting good result for alevels!!! n i will want to wait for u to call me, informing that u get into university asap!!!
Loves,

Wanling =)

I logged onto facebook today to discovered that Vivian had gone through most of Michael’s old notes and commented “dislike” on all of the ones that involved me. (Oh, yes, Michael, don’t think I don’t know who she is. I don’t need to stalk; it’s pretty evident. >_>)
Being reminded of these old notes wasn’t fun.
In fact, I’d forgotten all about them.
I won’t deny it: I completely see why she’d begrudge these notes. I mean, any normal girl would easily hate “The Ex”. Reading the notes, I don’t doubt she’d wonder what else had been talked about that she never knew about. I almost feel sorry for her that she had to see those notes. >_< Most likely she stumbled upon them by mistake. I certainly wouldn’t have wanted to see (or even know of) them if I were in her position.
But I kind of think she dealt with it immaturely. By commenting on those notes, she reminded us all of something we probably don’t need (or want) to remember. And poor Amaris keeps getting dragged into the mess, too. >_< If she really does have a strong opinion on it (and I don’t doubt that, either) she’d have been better off talking to Michael in person about it. Not announcing her displeasure publicly.
But then again, I have no idea what’s going on. Quite possibly she’s dealing with it in a way that I know nothing about. I was almost about to send her an inbox message and request that she not try to bring things like that back up, but… now that I think about it, it’s probably better to do nothing. After all, considering the anecdotes Michael tells, she could quite possibly despise me.

Sigh. The stupid past.

Meanwhile, in the present, I still haven’t received an answer. >_>
Surely you’ve made up your mind by now! It’s been nearly a week!

I had three tests today. T_T
First block English, the in-class essay on Hell. I hadn’t prepared at all for the essay because I’d been studying chem the night before (using the terribly-written textbook, since Conrad has my review pkg). But this morning in a slight panic, I pulled out my notes from this summer about Dante, and somehow I ended up with enough materials to make up five pages of essay. There were some things I didn’t even end up using. Hah, so no need to worry after all!
Then, immediately next block, the chem test on energetics. I hadn’t anticipated that the two would be right back-to-back, but I think I did all right on both.
There was a bit of a break in between, where we watched a documentary about the Korean War. 
Finally, the math test. TRIG. T_T I remember being really good at trig back in grades 9 and 10 and even 11. Well, today was paper 2, calculator-active, so it turned out a lot better than I feared. I was able to answer all the questions on the first three pages… unfortunately, I ran out of time for the last page. Bye-bye, 14 marks.

Afterwards, I rehearsed Life Is A Road with Jireh for the first time. We added a bit of harmony and adjusted the notes and who-sings-which-lines a bit. I think we sound pretty good! He just needs to sing a bit louder during his solo bits… and I need to quiet down when I’m on harmony so that I don’t overpower him. XD No worries. It’ll be good at the Christmas banquet.

All in all, a very busy, stressful day… but I’m okay.
It turned out balanced — an equilibrium of good and bad things.
… wow, physics on the brain. T_T (If only I could channel that on tests.)

Que a “The Circus Starring: Britney Spears” é a turnê mais lucrativa e bem sucedida de Britney, todo mundo já sabe! Que ela não para de bater recordes , como na música 3, que foi o maior feito de uma música pop em 10 anos, todo mundo também já está careca de saber.

Para não quebrar o costume, Britney Spears acaba de quebrar outro recorde pela venda de 66.247 ingressos no Sudney’s Acer Arena em 4 noites.

Muito impressionante, ou não!

A Princesa do Pop tirou do topo a banda Coldplay com a diferença de 7 mil assentos e desbancou até mesmo o ex-namorado Justin Timberlake (Aquele que chamou ela de v… em público)! Vejam o podium dos três primeiros colocados:

1. Britney Spears – Novembro/2009
2. Coldplay – Março/2009
3. Justin Timberlake – Outubro/2007

Em homenagem, a cantora foi premiada com uma placa de agradecimento com o recorde e posou para uma foto ao lado dos representantes da arena — Paul Dainty, David Humphreys e Don Elford.

Britney tem mostrado a que veio e mesmo sendo uma cantora extremamente criticada pela mídia é idolatrada pelos seus milhares de fans no mundo todo.

E pra quem ainda teima em dizer que a Britney não canta, esse mês, a maior revista especilizada no assunto, a Billboard, a elegeu como maior cantora da década.

Para aqueles que teimam em dizer que Britney não canta, eu só tenho uma coisa a dizer: I’m sorry!

It’s Britney Bitch!

Gilvan Oliveira
XX

This must be the most useful phrase I’ve learned thus far in Korea-I’m sorry, I can’t speak Korean.  On average, I say it’s used 5 times a week; the most frequently used phrase besides hello and thank you and right up there with it’s okay, it’s okay.  Five is a pretty high number considering my daily walk begins and ends with home and school, passing students in the morning whom are peddling groggy to school and shopkeepers in the afternoon who’ve stepped outside for their before dinner cigarette-it’s habitual.  When I’m buying face wash, approached by Jehovah Witnesses or running, this phrase interrupts their plans of engaging in a fluent conversation with me.   They eye me for a moment and either continue in Korean, speak English or…our conversation diminishes to them shaking their hands in a motion that defines something like, “Ohh…I’m sorry…never mind.”  They either turn around or back slowly away.

Any hopes of gaining enough skills to pass as fluent in a year has been reduced to me hoping I can order fish instead of beef, call for a taxi and ask for directions in a rural village.  I haven’t been tested yet but surely a surprise exam will come.   Why do I remember words like expensive, cheap and cat, though?  These words won’t help me when ordering delivery and I have no plans on adopting a cat.   Having this knowledge can’t really cultivate a meaningful conversation as far as I can see.  Well, until yesterday.

While I didn’t use expensive, cheap and cat in one sentence, they were used throughout my day’s activities as a couple students, their parents and I took a 45 minute ride to Chuncheon to consume the much coveted dish, 자 장 면- Ja Jang Myun.  Before your fears get the better of you, I’ll dispel any anxiety by confirming I did not eat expensive (nor cheap) cat.   Ja Jang Myun is a black bean paste noodle dish that is strictly Korean, but can only be found in a Chinese-Korean Restaurant.  Potatoes, shredded cucumber and beef garnish the noodles and sauce saturates the heap creating a mess that’s unavoidably delicious.

As we drove to Chuncheon to indulge in a 2+ hour meal, sat full around a table strewn with empty plates and stray noodles, and ‘eye-shopped’ at M Department store, it’s amazing how one’s limited Korean can incite conversation.  With our electronic translators and pocketbook dictionaries planted well within reach, our thoughts sped along and conversations opened-up as we looked up words for comfortable, fine article and contract.  Even if neither parties acknowledged grammar, our ability to use words that were part of a greater sentence was enough to express thought and opinion.  Like assembling a puzzle, we pieced our words together one at a time that eventually led to something quite meaningful.

No matter how little, or how much knowledge you have of a foreign language…use it when you can.  Throw it onto the table and see where it ends up.  Like dice tossed into the air, you never know where they’ll fall.  Imagine the conversations that could unfold and how new ideas spread by a simple spoken word.   I have no doubt, 죄송핲니다, 한극말 못 ᄒ요 will continue to be number 1 on my list of top 10 phrases used in Korea, but it can’t stop me from using the random words that’ve entered my vocabulary in the meantime, mujigae, too gup da, namu…who knows what story will evolve involving a rainbow, something hot and a tree?

Life have been very tough for me nowadays.. With work so crazy, I hardly have any breathing space for myself.. So it’s like in the morning, from home to work, then after work, home or church.. It’s really no life, except for church days..

For the following things that I’m going to say, I’m not blaming anyone.. But myself.. I think I can’t love anythig now.. Not even my family… Because everyone said that they care.. But when I needed help, no one can be found but left myself strained and tired, looking and solving the problems myself.. So I have decided to keep everything to myself until I can start sharing to others again.. I’m sorry..

” Do you remember that there’s once, you asked me to stay close to you and not leave you? But now, I feel like I have been used by you, to be there for you when you needed me at that time.. And now, I also feel that you don’t need me anymore.. I wonder you still need me to be around and close to you, like the past?”

Rating: 6

A few weeks ago, my parents flew in to town to visit for the weekend.  During our touristy weekend, I took them to Mamacita’s, a Tex-Mex restaurant decorated to look like the town square of a little Mexican town, complete with a tortilla shop, cantina, water fountain, and a ceiling that resembles a starry night. I’d been to the restaurant before, but on this visit I noticed something new: an animatronic Davey Crocket standing atop one of the pillars, playing a faux violin. Although offensive as hell (can you imagine a Dallas restaurant featuring an animatronic JFK playing acoustic guitar?) I found pleasure in the awkward jerking of the American legend, as he moved clumsily with the mariachi recording playing on the loudspeakers.

But after Davey moved about maladroitly for 20 minutes, the music abruptly shut off, and a spotlight appeared over his head, where he stood frozen for a moment. Then, suddenly, what was once a distraction, became an eerily realistic violin performance that would put any Chuck E. Cheese man-sized mouse to shame.

Check it: http://www.flickr.com/photos/laughingsquid/3988523031/

 Mew’s “No More Stories Are Told Today, I’m Sorry, They Washed Away” is a lot like that Davey Crocket mannequin.  The album starts with the unexpected swirling sounds of “New Terrain”, with Jonas Bjerre’s once angelic voice being thrown into a blender, masked in flanger and played in reverse, with a backward synth line to boot. Obviously, the title fits. The building tilt-a-whirl of sound leads straight into “Introducing the Palace Players”, an epileptic, off-beat, mind-fuck of sound.  The guitars are twangy; the beat is a half step off every few seconds – yet somehow it all sounds perfect.  At this point in the album, it is evident that this Danish rock band is capable of much more than their self-proclaimed “indie stadium rock”. 

 Then the experiment stops. The bunson burners are put back in the cupboards and the test tubes placed in the sink.  Although songs like “Repeater Beater” and “Sometimes Life Isn’t Easy” hint back to the possibilities their sound offers, the remainder of the album stays rooted in their signature sound of falsetto anthems with swelling synths and driving beats.  Unfortunately, their return to their tried and true doesn’t wield as great of results as “And the Glass Handed Kites”.  The songs aren’t nearly as anthemic, nor do they flow together as naturally and masterfully as their last effort (plus the 15 song marathon is a bit much). These songs lack the weight that the last album commanded of you; with “Glass Handed Kites” you couldn’t stop the album without feeling like you were stomping on a fragile chrysanthemum. 

 The more you listen to the strange songs on “No More Stories Are Told Today, I’m Sorry, They Washed Away”, the more you yearn to hear more of the bands gawky, new dabblings.  And really, as cool as it was to see Davey Crocket look so realistic, in a strange way, I preferred awkward Davey with all his flaws and foibles exposed for the entire audience of patrons and stuffed avocados to see.

Here’s the list of things I apologize for you online and offline lames.

• I’m sorry for taking your candy and never telling you…or asking you first
• Sorry for not understanding your tweets, where if I had read it correctly I would have totally understood
• Soooo, sorry for acting like I heard what you said and when you ask me or expect me to do something…it never gets done cause I never heard you
• Sorry for beating your ass at Street Fighter in front of all your guy friends
• Sorry for calling you fat
• Sorry for calling you ugly and expecting you to take it as a joke
• Really sorry for ignoring you on purpose just to make you mad but if it means anything…ignoring you really made me happy
• Sorry old guy with a cane, for laughing when you fell
• Sorry other relatively old guy for laughing when you tripped on a step and fell backwards
• So sorry for not letting you go first when we played the Game of Life
• Sorry for not liking that Christmas gift you gave me…and sorry you found it on my bedroom floor one day
• Sorry I beat you at arm wrestling in front of all your guy friends lol….punk!!
• Sorry for making fun of your Christmas tree….it did look funny….but creative
• Sorry for not caring that your feelings are hurt
• Kind of sorry for not wanting to eat around you when you’re crying, but honestly it was either that or throwup all over you
• Sorry for causing drama, but at least it was entertaining!
• Sorry to my spanish teacher that thinks I look like I don’t understand a word she’s saying.
• Sorry I don’t care.
• Kind of sorry I objectify you by referring to your good looks all the time…I’m a manizer
• Sorry for treating your drama as entertainment and laughing at the situation which you apparently took seriously
• Really sorry I lied and said I didn’t have an extra pen when I had one
• Sorry that you’re sorry
• Sorry for breaking your expensive equipment and not saying anything about it and leaving it up in the air as to who broke it
• Sorry my friends beat you up with a chair to the face for calling me ugly
• And, sorry other person that my friends beat you up for telling on me in class
• And, sorry other dude that my friends beat you up for making me cry after you swooned over how nice my boobs are
• Yikes, and sorry other guy that my friends beat you up for trying to upzip my dress…you perve
• And, sorry boy in the classroom that my mom almost whooped you for kicking me repeatedly, but hey, someone needed to knock some sense into you
• Sorry lonely guy for kissing me and thinking we were boyfriend/girlfriend…sorry that you heard I was with a new guy the next day….and sorry I acted like it was nothing when you started questioning me about it.
• Sorry homeless people, I don’t give you money or extra change because I don’t want you buying crack-cocaine with it biotchess, “it ain’t no love, in the heart of the city” – quote from a song
• Sorry that I wouldn’t let you borrow anything I cherish, which is everything I own
• Sorry, I don’t have change for a dollar
• Sorry I lied about not having change for a dollar, I just didn’t feel like looking for the change
• Sorry I told on you in class, but you were really annoying
• Sorry you hate me
• Really sorry I didn’t smack you when I had the chance
• Sorry that I won’t let you know where I get my porn
• Sorry I lied on you, made you take the blame and you got in trouble…but it’s all good cause really, you’re a bad influence on me
• Sorry I corrected your pronunciation of the Uruguay when now I know it’s nearly impossible for you to pronounce anything correctly
• Sorry I forgot everyone’s birthday, but if it means anything, I give really good Christmas gifts
• Sorry I can’t smack you cause I only know you online
• Speaking of online, sorry I lied when I said I didn’t have facebook or twitter, but I don’t care to speak with you or anyone else I know in those venues
• Sorry I spent all day trying out clothes in the dressing room while you wait
• Sorry I ordered a bunch of food knowing you’re paying
• Sort of sorry I don’t call you
• Oh so sorry that I tend to block out people that use too much slang terms
• Sorry I kicked you in the nuts and made you cry
• Sorry I made you look stupid and inarticulate
• Sorry I made you throw out your work of “art”
• Sorry I reached a higher level on WOW then you, after my first time playing…I know it hurts to get beat by a newbie
• Sorry you can’t see me naked, but as the PSA says, “once you put your picture online it never goes away.”
• Sorry you read all of this post

Sooooo, that’s all for my apologies.  Hope I didn’t leave anyone out.  And, hope you have a better day now

I have been absolutely over-whelmed with college, an added class of training for Fire Rescue & EMS, work, & of course my motherly duties. It has been absolutely nuts around here. At least in my own mind it has been.

I believe husband has actually remained sober. He has shown absolutely no signs what so ever of drinking. However, he still hasn’t created a support system with AA or a sponsor. That is disappointing because if he is triggered I don’t believe it will take much for him to run right to the store, make a purchase, and be inebriated before I can realize what’s going on. I have however, accepted the fact that he makes his own choices and I can not change or affect them. I am absolutely powerless over his addiction but I refuse to allow it to control me.

I have expressed myself quite clearly in the past couple weeks. I am convinced though that when I talk to my husband all he hears is “Meep, blah, blaaaaaah, meep, blah!”.  I haven’t said a word about drinking but I have went on & on & on about the mental games he plays. I call it the “I’m Sorry” game.

I have to tell you – I have always taken pride in the fact that I am a great friend. I am a quiet listener, I chose my words wisely, I am NOT a fighter, and I will be solid support *if* you should chose to show me the same basic level of humane respect. I generally trust people – not overly trust them, but enough to form a tight bond. I have never had an issue with making friends. That is how it all started with my husband … friendship which grew into a form of love that sadly has diminished over the course of eleven years.

Point being ….. over the past couple weeks I have pointed out to my husband that he lacks any respect for me as a person or his wife and it is so obvious that he doesn’t trust me. I am a firm believer that if there is no trust in a relationship (marriage, boyfriend/girlfriend, friendship) there is NO relationship – period. Husband proclaims that I am absolutely delusional and that he does in fact trust me … “kind of”. Here’s the thing friends, I haven’t given him a reason NOT to trust me. This trust issue has developed from his OWN issues of lack of self-esteem, no confidence, anger, & perhaps things that have happened to him prior to us being together. If I were to describe my husband it would include:

• Irritable
• Intense
• Illogical
• Offensive
• Possessive
• Unforgiving
• Ruthless
• Vicious
• Arrogant

I realize all those words are not exactly on the bright side but what can I say … this is how I would describe my husband if someone asked me. I find this to be a sad situation. As I point all the above out to my husband in hopes that something will click and he will realize that he is rather lofty – however he just stares at me with this vacant look as though I have completely lost my mind.  I don’t know if the man is convinced he does not wrong or if he realizes it and just will not fess up.

(I’m finding it hard to stay on a single though as my three undomesticated monkeys are hooting & hollering)

The I’m Sorry Game

As it stands I have been a gold player in husband’s I’m Sorry Game. Last night was a prime example … as I was told last minute about a training course that was from 6:30 – 9:30 than at class learned it was actually until 10:30. Regardless, I was asked if I was going to the bar about a hundred times before I left. Mind you – I don’t drink folks … only a rare occasion. So it was one of those questions that you just look at someone like “Where the hell did that come from?”. Than as I walked to the department I received more than a few messages threatening me … “I will be going to the bar to see if you’re there. Just so I know you’re not lieing.” … ect. He called my cell a few hundred times in the four hour period .. I was in class and couldn’t answer. Than I finally get home at 10:45 and he does the most offensive thing ever …. walks upto me and starts smelling the air around me but what was most annoying about it was how he over-emphasized what he was doing. Asshole. After he got to work I received ANOTHER phone call that resulted in him saying “I’m sorry”.

I realize these events may seem trivial but when you go through it everyday over everything – it becomes a terrible, stressful game. The worst is when I leave work or class late and have this sunken, aching feeling just knowing that when I walk through the door to home I am in for it. He is not psychically abusive but the man sure does know how to mentally fuck me.

A veces, no vienen a mi las palabras que necesito para expresar el estado anímico en que me encuentro o falla mi elocuencia al tratar de explicar alguna cosa subjetiva. Cuando eso pasa recurro a las canciones, porque, no importa lo que me pase, siempre hay una canción que fue hecha para el momento que vivo. De idealización, de fascinación… Evergrey con I’m Sorry.

I painted a picture of you,
your soul was red and your mind was blue.
Destiny laid a light on my creation.
This dream I had made a slave of my passion,
reality was always too far away.

And we were happy until it came too close one day.
Suddenly I faced the truth of my dream,
my love had only been a picture, a scene.
I suppose I needed to believe,
didn’t want to see you had never been close to me.

And I’m sorry,
this illusion has caused you a lot of pain.
And I have no solution,
I’ll try to never be back again.

I’m sorry (x4)

I painted a picture of you.
My dream was a lie and the lie became truth.
Reality held his breath too long.
It’s disgusting what dreams can do to you.

And I’m sorry,
this illusion has caused you a lot of pain.
And I have no solution,
I’ll try to never be back again.

I’m sorry (x4)

I haven’t learned anything lately so I thought I’d rather share things that I don’t like or I’m not enjoying.

The continued coverage of Jon Goselin, while I try not to take sides in psuedo-z list celebrity wars I can’t help but want to drive a screw driver into my ear whenever his name is mentioned. I don’t feel sorry for him nor his estranged wife because I don’t approve of ANYONE procreating to the point where they have THAT many children. so about 10 things to hate right there.

The New York Yankees, Yankees fans, their continued sense of smugness (both Yankees and their fans) enough said I just don’t like either of the two.

The Fox News channel and their completely BS so-called fair and balanced act, many people seem to be fooled and that’s quite unfortunate. When you claim to be non-partisan and you OPENLY tell you’re readers/viewers HOW to take part in tea-party demonstrations you are CLEARLY picking a side, in that same vein I highly doubt that they (or their local affiliates) wouldn’t dare tell their viewers were to go to a healthcare rally but would probably tell them which rally they can take a Kalashnikov to.

I’m suddenly really regretting posting up that list of grad dates now.

When I first posted it, I was a bit worried — but people assured me it was no problem, that everybody knew all the pairings already, that it was actually very useful, etc.
I nearly took it down, but  they convinced me it was fine.
So I left it there.

Now somebody is upset at me for it. I don’t think they’re mad, but I guess they’re… disappointed in me? Apparently people weren’t supposed to find out.
CURSES. >_<
I’m sorry, you. I didn’t mean for it to happen like this.
I didn’t realize you were trying to keep it a secret.

So the list is locked now. I’m keeping it private.
I’ll keep the list to myself, just like it was supposed to be.

EDIT:
Wow. Insert confusion here.
I don’t even really know what’s going on.
But I have to say, I’m a little unnerved that so many people are looking at the “Grad Dates” page, even though the link I posted was for the page on “Important Info”. >_<
Maybe I’ll unlock the page again in a while, but for now, I think I want the hype to die down. It was NOT supposed to be a big deal. I was NOT supposed to get 200 hits on that page. Since when did so many people even look at my blog, anyways?
Sigh. We’ll see.

I’m really way too good at having those kinds of moments. >_<
Things I say to tease people almost always get taken the wrong way.
And then people are insulted. Like that time when that very slim girl was joking about how she was too fat to fit in her dress, and I teased her for eating a chicken drumstick.

And then it’s always too late to take things back. Maybe I should just stop talking in general.
… hah, yeah right. As if I’d be able to do that.

I’m sorry for being distant, recently before. But still I’m always there for you. I’m Sorry.

I be gone. Sorry!

Sad face spoon and what not.

It used to be different

It used to be good

Things are different now

But I wish they weren’t.

Part of it I brought on myself.

I left you

But I can’t bring myself to regret it.

Not really, anyways.

You live your life and I live mine

What else is there?

I’m sorry there was pain

But it’s not something we could have avoided

It’s just what started

Our Darker Days

…  I didn’t know, there is a place for good people to go. I found this site (www.oopsimsorry.com) amongst the chaos and noise, a site for all without any ploys. A site for those who don’t mean any harm, but make a mistake or do something wrong. Imagine that, a place we can go where people say “Oops, I’m Sorry”, so we know. While I ponder and muse the meaning of life, I’ll check this site at least once a night. The messages posted might give me insight because the words are written to make things right. Say I’m sorry, post an, apology to, let someone know they should with an. apology due, and we can post confessions too. A web site created to make wrong things right, Oops…I’m Sorry, I found it now I’ll call it a night.

AAAARRRRRGGG

Have you ever gotten into an argument with someone and you aren’t even sure how you got to that point to begin with.. I have… many times actually and I mean the subject is completely trivial and for some reason, whatever it is… THAT is now my focal point for the rest of the day. Everyone I’d talk to or see is either asked, told or is the victim of unsolicited verbal spewage of whatever subject ticked me off, that now controls the day and my moods.

Un-Freakin believable.

And this all started with a simple statement or posting on Facebook (for example). Let’s use the “Balloon Boy” story. A friend of mine had posted a innocent statement on how worried she was about this boy that the news was talking about. I had stated that I thought the 6 year old and the parents are all Dumbasses. I did not get captured by this story.. It just smelled fishy. I mean there were too many red flags on this one. But I am sorry.. I must say.. That I don’t feel that it is necessarily a bad thing to call a 6 year old a dumbass, when he actually is one..

Now I understand that I may not have kids of my own, but I do have some understanding of kids and in no way am I stating that I am an expert… But I am not standing in the clouds either… Now certain comments were said back and forth and because I ended up being right about the whole situation I expected an apology. But did not get one.. I got even more pissed off. Now its time to verbalize my concerns in an email then off to write my blog about this with all my pictures and facts and stories that I was going to use to prove my point. But then I didn’t actually send it or publish the blog. See I didn’t want to be right necessarily.. I just wanted to be validated. I still think its ok to call someone a dumbass when they deserve it.. Anyways we called a truce.   WAWA WE WA! Great Success!

Anyways this is a posting that she has on her wall on Facebook and I thought that we could all benefit from reading this letter about apologies. I hope that the message doesn’t fall upon deaf ears.

Neither I nor her wrote it but we both agree with it.:

Tell me what you think…

__________________________________

Good day!

How many times in your life have you felt personally affronted, offended or disappointed in someone’s actions to the point where an apology seemed to be necessary?

Sometimes an apology seems important at the time but the incident fades in time to the point where the incident is forgotten and the need for an apology fades with it.

Other times, it is felt that an apology is so critical that the relationship cannot continue until the apology is delivered – and a suitable apology at that, not just any half-hearted apology.

It is normal that we sometimes feel an apology is warranted.  If the need passes relatively quickly and the relationship continues undamaged, then Life proceeds as it always has and no one is the worse for the incident.

When a relationship becomes damaged or is permanently put on hold while waiting for an apology, then the person waiting for the apology needs to examine the 5 W’s regarding the necessity of the apology.

What is to be gained by demanding or holding out for an apology? Is everyone better off while time passes without the apology that is expected? What is lost as this time passes?

Why is the apology needed? Can your life continue with or without it? Will receiving an apology somehow make your life so much better than if you had not received one?

Who benefits from waiting for this apology? Is it possible that waiting for an apology burdens the person waiting for it more so than the person who “should” be giving it?

When has a sufficient time elapsed before an apology is no longer necessary, or would someone rather wait indefinitely, regardless of the impact of this decision? When does someone realize that the need for an apology is not as important as what is lost in the relationship?

Where does the person waiting for the apology expect their life to go if they accumulate enough of these “must have an apology” incidents? That would present quite a burden on someone who already has the many challenges of life presented by living in the 21st century.

The fact is that the day you cannot forgive somebody for an act committed is the day you can stop expecting forgiveness for any act that you may commit against others.

It is also true that while receiving an apology may make your past seem better in your eyes, does holding out for one indefinitely make your future better? I doubt if it does.

The pain or hurt that we perceived for which an apology is demanded is often encased in a lot of emotion, which prevents us from analyzing the true source of it and prevents us from beginning the process of healing one’s self and one’s relationships.

This pain festers and grows on negative energy. It drags people down and becomes a preoccupying thought that prevents them from reaching their truest potential.

It is so easy to say “I will never let that person hurt me again” yet what is hurting you the most – the act committed against you or the negative energy that you are accumulating as you keep reliving the incident and affirming the need for an apology.

Alan Paton, a famous writer, summed it up nicely when he wrote, “When a deep injury is done, we never recover until we forgive”.

It is so easy to rationalize not forgiving someone by saying “If I forget this incident, then I am opening myself to being offended again later”.

However, this thought continues the pain, hurt and other emotions that are wrapped around the original incident, preventing one from analyzing the incident and truly evaluating it on it’s merits.

Forgiving someone releases this negative energy and allows one to grow and to learn from the incident.

Isn’t this what Life is all about – to learn from our experiences so that we can handle them better the next time? How can we expect to grow and experience Life to it’s fullest if we refuse to learn from the lessons offered to us?

Mahatma Gandhi once said, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong”.

There is a common expression along the same lines that it takes a big person to forgive. It is easy to hold a grudge for a long time (or forever). It takes true internal strength to forgive.

Some people like to say they forgive someone but they never forget the incident. Is this true forgiveness, or do you at some level put the relationship on probation, waiting for the next affront to upset you all over again?

To not forget the incident when it is forgiven is not true forgiveness and people should not delude themselves by thinking that forgiving and not forgetting go hand in hand.

There are people who feel that punishment is warranted and that somehow the apology is connected with this punishment, almost as if the apology serves as a form of humiliation in the initial stages of retribution.

This adds unnecessary negativity to the need for an apology – the negativity associated with some form of revenge.

Life has a way of rewarding or punishing people when the time is right, whether that person wants it or expects it.

So rather than assuming that one has the right to be administering some form of justice, isn’t it better to let Life handle each person as they deserve?

Plus, the incident that you think an apology is warranted for may be a single low point in an otherwise perfect life on the part of the other person – so what gives you the right to exact punishment on them for this?

On the contrary, perhaps you brought on the incident so what gives you the right to punish someone for an action that you brought on or instigated?

Forgiving some people may also confuse them. Some incidents may in fact warrant an apology but it is not worth waiting for, for some of the reasons discussed previously.

Forgiving this person will be a release for you and will offer a lesson to the other person, a lesson that they may not understand immediately.

Rather than try to impose a lesson on them, allow time to reveal the power of forgiveness to them. Sara Paddiston summarized this when she wrote, “Sincere forgiveness isn’t colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don’t worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time.”

Holding grudges is also a great way to build enemies. Life is challenging enough without creating additional challenges.

If through a simple act, we can create or maintain relationships or at the very least, nullify an enemy, isn’t this a better thing than to be looking over our shoulder as we watch out for the actions of our enemies.

Forgiving someone is not a license for that person to hurt again.

However, by forgiving them, you provide a learning opportunity to that person as well and through your actions, both parties grow.

If someone takes advantage of repeated forgiveness on your part, then it is time to review and discuss your relationship with that person.

Everyone has a purpose on this earth and we are all connected on many levels. Herman Melville noted, “We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men; and among those fibers, as sympathetic threads, our actions run as causes, and they come back to us as effects.”

Since Life rewards or punishes based on our actions, the positive action of forgiveness will be returned to us in a positive way.

To be unable to forgive is to be unable to love.

Let us also not forget that we are not perfect. We have committed our own acts that perhaps we are not proud of, that someone else may expect an apology for.

We may choose to stand our ground, insisting that an apology is not necessary. At some point the proverbial “light” comes on and you see the situation for what it is – you are unwilling to apologize for something yet find yourself wondering why you can’t receive an apology for a different incident.

Opening our hearts to forgiveness also enables us to apologize when the need is there and therefore we learn by forgiving.

So given all of this, why would you rather hold all of this negative energy inside you and allow it to cripple you, hold you back, encourage sleepless nights and inhibit your life.

Forgiveness, love and Life are intertwined. Free yourself from the trappings and negative energy of grudges, forgive those who need forgiveness, apologize to those you have affronted and know that you will have opened your heart and your mind to a better life – one where you can more easily recognize and accept Life’s gifts and wonder.

Namaste – the Divine in me honors the Divine in you

Harry

For anyone that knows the story of my past relationship… I’m not sure if my guilt will ever leave me. Don’t even know where to start with that. But my best friend, Adeste, sent this YouTube song to me during the break-up. It was pretty on point. Have a listen and read the text.

**sigh