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One Crazy Dead Man! Crazy as a Lone Wolf! Screenplay "Kiss My Ass K.Y." Part 1

skeetron — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 04:06:36 +0000

Kiss My Ass K.Y.

Rated R

Part 1: Scenes 1-6

by Steven Jeffrey Cull

BASED ON A TRUE STORY

by Skeetron
FADE IN:

           2     EXT. GOLD STAR CHILI (PARKING) – NIGHT                 2
                 Display: Based on a True Story
                 Display: Spring 2003.
                 Suzy: Red 2000 Suzuki 800 Intruder; Leather saddle bags
                 and Wind Shield. Red Helmet with clear face shield.

                 Skeeter exits Gold Star Chili (Alexandria Kentucky) walks
                 towards motorcycle named “Suzy”. Skeeter mounts
                 motorcycle holds helmet. Five High School children (Two
                 male, Three female) approach Skeeter from parking lot.
                 Children know Skeeter although Skeeter knows not them.
                 Children smile impressed as they inspect motorcycle. High
                 School Male 1 excited gives approval.

HIGH SCHOOL MALE 1
Good idea Skeeter!.

High School Male 2 excited continues.

HIGH SCHOOL MALE 2
Out run em now!.. Fuck em!

Skeeter smiles to children. High School Female 1 smiles
gives high five to Skeeter.

                                         HIGH SCHOOL FEMALE 1
                           Yea!.. Keep it up Skeeter!.. Your
                           all we got!

High School Female 2 and 3 smiles stands to background.
High School Male 2 depressed explains.

                                         HIGH SCHOOL MALE 2
                           Lost another buddy last weekend!..
                           Football player good dude…
                           Fuck’n Heroin!… First time!..
                           Dropped dead!

High School Male 2 angry speaks loud.

                                         HIGH SCHOOL MALE 2 (CONT’D)
                           Keep fuck’n with em Skeeter!.. For
                           us!

High School Male 1 with fear in his eyes explains.

HIGH SCHOOL MALE 1
They’ll kill us all!

Skeeter lights cigarette advises children.

SKEETER
You all hang in there now!

Skeeter smiles speaks to High School Female 2 and 3.

                                         SKEETER (CONT’D)
                                (Hillbilly accent)
                           You hear!

Skeeter advises High School Male 1.

                                         SKEETER (CONT’D)
                           Don’t let the bastards get you
                           down!

Skeeter speaks angry loud proclaims.

SKEETER (CONT’D)
Fuck drugs!

Skeeter smiles wild eyed shakes head “Yes”. Calm he
reassures children.

                                         SKEETER (CONT’D)
                           Remember one thing!.. God will
                           show you the way!

High School Children smile warm smiles. Skeeter gives
wild eyed smile proclaims loudly.

SKEETER (CONT’D)
Yea!

                 High School Children laugh. Skeeter starts motorcycle.
                 Skeeter places helmet on head. Skeeter smiles to
                 children.

SKEETER (CONT’D)
Happy trails!

                 Skeeter rides motorcycle to highway. Stops looks both
                 ways accelerates enters highway. High School Male 1
                 smiles nods head “yes” to other children.

HIGH SCHOOL MALE 1
There goes one crazy dead man!

High School Female 3 stares to highway smiles ear to ear
proclaims.

HIGH SCHOOL FEMALE 3
Crazy as a lone wolf!

                 Skeeter rides motorcycle down highway towards a bright
                 full moon. A cloud shades moon to darkness. Skeeter rides
                 head on disappearing into the blackness of life. Faint
                 howl of a wolf (God) can be heard in blackness.

3 EXT. SKEETER’S FARM BARN AREA – NIGHT 3

                 Skeeter rides down dark country road turns into gravel
                 drive. Silhouette of barn and gazebo atop silo can be
                 seen surrounded by dark hay fields and pastures. A cow
                 moos.

4 EXT. SKEETER’S RESIDENCE PORCH – NIGHT 4

                 Skeeter sits on upsidedown five gallon bucket at rear
                 covered raised porch of his residence. Skeeter smokes
                 cigarette stares across a moonlit lake to a dark steep
                 hillside. Distance dogs howl. The sound of crickets and
                 frogs drowns all other sound. Skeeter stands walks faces
                 side rail of porch. The sound of urinating can be heard
                 through pickets of rail. Two dogs run from under porch
                 startling Skeeter.

SKEETER
Shit!

Skeeter turns wipes hand on pants. Dogs enter porch stand
wag tails.

SKEETER (CONT’D)
Goofy dogs.

Skeeter sits on bucket. He pets dogs as he makes a
cellphone call.

SKEETER (CONT’D)
Hey Robby!.. How you doing?

                                         ROBBY
                                (VO)
                           Hi dad!

Skeeter questions Robby as to whether anyone is ease
dropping (His mother, etc.).

SKEETER
Can you talk?.

Robby excited explains.

                                         ROBBY
                                (VO)
                           Everything cool!… Mom’s out on a
                           date.

Skeeter sarcastic then questions Robby.

                                         SKEETER
                           Good!.. She can steal from him for
                           awhile… Been trying to call…
                           Nobody answers… Something going
                           on?

Robby explains situation.

                                         ROBBY
                                (VO)
                           Mom won’t let us answer… She’s
                           been photographing the caller
                           ID… Think… Her cop boyfriend
                           told her to do it.

Skeeter questions Robby.

SKEETER
Which dirty cop?

Robby angry explains his situation.

                                         ROBBY
                                (VO)
                           He’s a fuck’n Dick!.. Walks in our
                           house… Anytime he wants…
                           Whether mom’s home or not… Goes
                           through my room… Threatens
                           me!… Comes in… Two three times
                           a week… Says… Mom gave him
                           permission.

Skeeter warns Robby.

                                         SKEETER
                           See if you can find out his
                           name?.. Be careful!..   Asshole’s
                           liable to shoot you dead… Blame
                           it on me!.. Remember… They’re
                           all dirty.

Robby explains situation.

                                         ROBBY
                                (VO)
                           Think they’re still mad… Bout
                           when you called me… At
                           Penny’s… Caller ID showed up…
                           Our number… How’d you do that?..
                           Dad?

Skeeter smiles as he boast.

SKEETER
Little magic!.. Charlie taught me.

Robby explains.

                                         ROBBY
                                (VO)
                           You know?… Whole police force
                           surrounded our house… Guns
                           drawn… Think they were going to
                           kill you Dad!

                 Skeeter observes red laser light across lake at base of
                 hillside. Dog barks from porch. Skeeter observes red
                 laser light movement across his chest.

                                         SKEETER
                           Rob… Call you back… Something
                           going on here… More bullshit!

Robby concern makes request.

                                         ROBBY
                                (VO)
                           Call me!.. Promise Dad!

Skeeter concern.

SKEETER
Love you!.. Got to go.

                 Skeeter stands observes red light across lake places
                 cellphone to his belt. Skeeter observes motion of red
                 laser light from his chest to porch wall behind. Skeeter
                 shakes “no” in disbelief.

SKEETER (CONT’D)
Fuck’n assholes!

                 Skeeter enters house. Red laser light slowly moves back
                 and forth across door surface. Skeeter opens door holds
                 copper pipe and hammer. He walks towards red light into
                 yard. Red laser light flashes off and on upon his body.
                 Skeeter pounds copper pipe into soil angled upwards
                 towards red light. Skeeter adjust pipe. He stands lights
                 cigarette observes red laser light upon his chest.
                 Skeeter removes large firework rocket from his rear
                 pocket. Lights wick with cigarette. Wick sparks as he
                 places rocket into copper tube. Rocket sprays bright
                 sparks as it propels towards red laser light. Skeeter
                 smiles as he calmly speaks to himself.

SKEETER (CONT’D)
Take that bitch boy!

                 Rocket explodes slightly above origin of red laser light.
                 Flash of explosion silhouettes a man runs falls within
                 sparks of firework. Skeeter smiles ear to ear. Multiple
                 delayed bright colored firework reports explode above and
                 upon ground. Colored sparks everywhere. Silhouette of a
                 German Shepard dog follows the silhouette of a man as he
                 stumbles towards hillside. Total darkness. Total quiet. A
                 sudden sound of breaking brush and wood. A voice is heard
                 in the distance.

                                         LASER LIGHT COP
                                (VO Distant)
                           Oh!.. Shit!

                 Skeeter smiles as he stands observes firework smoke as it
                 dissipates from hillside. The progressive sound of
                 crickets and frogs again fill the air. Skeeter smiles as
                 he dials cellphone. Skeeter turns towards porch observes
                 Owl (God) perched upon gable of porch. Skeeter nods head
                 (Thanks/Respect) to Owl. Skeeter stares to Owl.

SKEETER
Hey Robby!.. I’m back!

Robby concerned excited.

                                         ROBBY
                                (VO)
                           Hi dad!

Owl flies into darkness.

5 EXT. FARMER HOUSE – MORNING 5

                 Sound of cattle mooing in distance can be heard. A
                 rooster crows as Skeeter walks carries black briefcase 1
                 towards front porch of farm house. Three dogs wag tails
                 approach Skeeter. Skeeter sets briefcase 1 to lawn pets
                 dogs. He walks to front porch as dogs follow. Skeeter
                 knocks on door. Farmer 1 opens door. Black briefcase 2
                 sits upon floor to his side. Farmer 1 smiles

FARMER 1
Got your briefcase ready.

Farmer 1 looks to briefcase 2 on floor. Smiles questions.

FARMER 1 (CONT’D)
What’ch you been up to?

Farmer 1 picks up briefcase 2. Skeeter smiles shake head
in disgust as he speaks uncertain.

SKEETER
Just trying to survive.

Farmer 1 hands briefcase 2 to Skeeter. Skeeter smiles
holds briefcase 1 and 2. Skeeter changes subject.

SKEETER (CONT’D)
Cows doing alright?

Farmer 1 responds.

FARMER 1
Cows doin fine.

Farmer 1 concerned questions Skeeter.

                                         FARMER 1 (CONT’D)
                           They screwed you over good didn’t
                           they!

Skeeter nods yes. Sad Skeeter smiles as he thanks Farmer
1.

                                         SKEETER
                           Appreciate you protecting my
                           briefcase.

Skeeter swings briefcase 1 forward makes request.

SKEETER (CONT’D)
Hold this one awhile?

Farmer 1 smiles warmly agrees.

FARMER 1
You know it!

                 Skeeter hands briefcase 1 to Farmer 1. Skeeter smiles to
                 Farmer 1. Skeeter turns walks away carries briefcase 2.
                 Dogs follow wag tails.

                                         SKEETER
                                (V.O.)
                           Have a great day!

Farmer 1 stares saddened. Shouts friendly.

FARMER 1
Good luck Skeeter!

Skeeter waves over left shoulder as he walks across lawn.
Dogs follow wag tails.

6 EXT. SKEETER’S FARM BARN AREA – MORNING 6

                 Sound of cattle mooing in distance. A red tail hawk (God)
                 soars the sky above a Campbell County police cruiser (Two
                 Officers) travels slow pass barn towards Skeeter’s
                 residence. Cruiser pulls to left of gravel drive to hay
                 field. Tractor driven by Alford drags three foot diameter
                 twenty foot long timber log from opposite direction on
                 gravel drive. Tractor front tires bounce towing log.
                 Tractor exhausts black smoke. Chain saw strapped to top
                 of tractor. Police Cruiser sounds siren. (All dialogue
                 hillbilly accents).

                                         DIRTY COP 1
                                (V.O. Cruiser
                                 Speaker)
                           What you doin Boy!.. Your under
                           arrest!.. Raise em!

                 Dirty Cop 2 (Passenger) points handgun out window.
                 Tractor stops next to cruiser. Alford stand on tractor
                 yells angry.

                                         ALFORD
                           Fuck You!.. You dirty hilljack
                           stump jump’n piss ants!

Alford raises Assault Rifle. Yells.

ALFORD (CONT’D)
Back off!.. Bitch!.. Mines bigger!

All laugh. Alford sets assault rifle down. Alford sits
turns off tractor engine.

                                         DIRTY COP 2
                                (V.O.)
                           How’s grandpa?

Alford smiles.

ALFORD
What time is it?

Alford looks to his watch.

ALFORD (CONT’D)
He’s drunk!

All Laugh.

                                         DIRTY COP 2
                                (V.O.)
                           Some things never change… See
                           you got yourself… Some play
                           money.

Alford observes log explains.

ALFORD
If I don’t get it… Bank will.

Alford lights marijuana joint offers it to cruiser.

                                         DIRTY COP 1
                                (V.O.)
                           Heard bout new shipment?.. Snow in
                           June… Guess you knew?… It’s
                           your boss.

                                         DIRTY COP 2
                                (V.O.)
                           They say… Some good stuff!..

Alford stands on tractor angry speaks loud.

                                         ALFORD
                           Fuck Francis!.. Goin shoot him in
                           the head!.. Says he’s goin shoot
                           me in the head!.

Alford raises assault rifle yells angry.

                                         ALFORD (CONT’D)
                           Goin shoot him in the head!..
                           First!

Alford speaks loud angry.

ALFORD (CONT’D)
Shit his mouth!

                                         DIRTY COP 1
                                (V.O.)
                           Hell… He’s you brother…
                           Married your sister.

Dirty Cop 2 waves arm open palm questions.

                                         DIRTY COP 2
                                (V.O.)
                           Thought you all were friends?..
                           Partners in crime!

Alford places assault rifle to tractor.

                                         ALFORD
                           Not no more… Cut me out… He
                           wants it all… Cokehead mother
                           fucker!.. Now… Got to steal
                           Skeeter’s timbers… Keep going…

Alford sits. Dirty Cop 1 serious.

                                         DIRTY COP 1
                           Don’t shoot him in the head till
                           we get ours!.. Christmas in
                           July… Buy me a new bush hog.

Dirty Cop 2 serious.

                                         DIRTY COP 2
                           Know what I’m getting for
                           Christmas?.. Cous… Brand new
                           butt!… Old one… Got a big
                           crack in it!

All laugh. Alford leans towards cruiser questions.

                                         ALFORD
                           What’s you all doin down here?..
                           Again?

Alford eats marijuana butt.

                                         DIRTY COP 2
                                (V.O.)
                           Following orders… Time to fuck
                           with Skeeter.

Dirty Cop 2 waves plastic baggy of brown powder.

                                         ALFORD
                           You guys are in his house more
                           than he is… Why do you all keep
                           fuck’n with Skeeter?

Alford drinks beer throws can to ground.

                                         DIRTY COP 2
                                (V.O.)
                           Same reason your dragging one of
                           his timbers!.. Because we can!..
                           Besides… Think… Chief is
                           tapping his wife… Somebody is…
                           We just follow orders.

Alford smiles jokes.

ALFORD
Couple rocks get that one.

Alford starts tractor.

                                         DIRTY COP 1
                                (V.O.)
                           What’s that log worth?.. Thousand
                           dollars?

Alford drags timber with tractor. Short blast on siren.
Alford yells.

                                         ALFORD
                           Half for his ex-wife!.. Half for
                           me!.. See you at the hog roast!

                 Dirty Cop 1 throws fast food garbage bag to ground.
                 Police cruiser spins tires creates dust travels towards
                 Skeeter’s residence. A red tail hawk (God) observes
                 perched atop barn gazebo roof flag pole. Flagpole
                 displays shredded U.S. Flag.

Fade to Black

Murdered by the Greed of this Bank! Screenplay "Kiss My Ass K.Y." Part 2

skeetron — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 03:53:44 +0000

Kiss My Ass K.Y.

Rated R

Part 2: Scenes 7-9

by Steven Jeffrey Cull

BASED ON A TRUE STORY

by SKEETRON

7 INT. BANK TELLER – DAY 7

Skeeter smiles approaches Bank Teller Lady 1 at teller
counter.

SKEETER
Hello young lady.

                 Bank Teller Lady 1 gives warm friendly smile. Skeeter
                 sets briefcase to counter. He open briefcase removes one
                 cashier check. Teller Supervisor at rear desk area makes
                 phone call.

                                         TELLER SUPERVISOR
                                (Low volume)
                           Mr. Vanhorn… Skeeter’s at Teller
                           counter.

Skeeter endorses cashier check slides it towards Bank
Teller Lady 1. Bank Teller Lady 1 studies check.

BANK TELLER LADY 1
Large bills O. K. ?

Skeeter nods “yes”. Teller counts out hundreds. Skeeter
silent counts along.

                                         BANK TELLER LADY 1 (CONT’D)
                           Forty five hundred… Count it
                           sir.

Skeeter confirms.

SKEETER
Already did.

                 Skeeter places cash into teller envelope. Places envelope
                 into briefcase. Closes briefcase smiles to Bank Teller
                 Lady 1.

SKEETER (CONT’D)
Thank you young lady.

Skeeter walks approaches bank lobby receptionist counter.
Receptionist Linda smiles to Skeeter as he approaches.

LINDA
Hi Skeeter.

Skeeter returns smile.

SKEETER
How’s Miss Linda today?

Linda smiles questions Skeeter.

                                         LINDA
                           What have you been doing lately
                           … Working?

Skeeter responds.

                                         SKEETER
                           No ain’t working… No work…
                           Been wiped out!

Skeeter excited continues.

                                         SKEETER (CONT’D)
                           Get’n ready to take a little
                           motorcycle ride… Get the hell
                           out of here!.. Going to Key West!

Linda surprised replies.

LINDA
Wish I was going with you Skeeter.

Skeeter leans to Linda makes proposition.

                                         SKEETER
                                (Hillbilly accent)
                           Hell girl!.. Hop on!… Got me one
                           of them there… Two seater!

Linda smiles. Politely makes excuse.

                                         LINDA
                           Wish I could… Got a dog… And a
                           boyfriend.

Skeeter flirts with Linda.

SKEETER
We could dance on the beach girl.

Skeeter sways as though dancing. Skeeter leans to Linda
speaks like a romantic nerd.

SKEETER (CONT’D)
Under a moonlit sky.

Skeeter smiles ear to ear proclaims loud in jest.

                                         SKEETER (CONT’D)
                                (Hillbilly accent)
                           Butt Ass Naked!

                 Skeeter laughs. Linda blushes looks around begins quiet
                 laughter. Vanhorn approaches. Linda acts busy. Vanhorn
                 rudely interrupts.

VANHORN
What’ch you doing Skeeter?

Skeeter jokes as he smiles to Linda.

SKEETER
Trying to run off with Miss Linda.

Linda uneasy (Boss) interrupts speaks to Vanhorn.

                                         LINDA
                           Skeeter’s going to Key West… On
                           his motorcycle!

Vanhorn sarcastic speaks in disbelief.

                                         VANHORN
                           Heard!.. I don’t believe it!..
                           Nobody does!

Vanhorn insults Skeeter.

VANHORN (CONT’D)
Skeeter you’re too damn old!

Skeeter stares with contempt. Vanhorn rude questions
Skeeter.

VANHORN (CONT’D)
Heard you just made a withdrawal.

Skeeter responds with contempt.

                                         SKEETER
                           Key West money dude!.. Why?.. My
                           money!

Vanhorn rude attempts to turn conversation.

                                         VANHORN
                           Did you make your farm payment
                           this month?

Skeeter serious reminds Vanhorn.

                                         SKEETER
                           Told you I wasn’t making
                           payments… Till divorce was
                           final.

Vanhorn angry questions.

                                         VANHORN
                           What does your divorce have to do
                           with you making payments?

Skeeter forceful explains.

                                         SKEETER
                           Been two years!.. Divorce already
                           cost me… Couple hundred thousand
                           dollars.

Linda shocked looks to Skeeter then Vanhorn. Skeeter
speaks forceful gives hard look to Vanhorn.

                                         SKEETER (CONT’D)
                           Why does your bank?.. Control my
                           divorce?.. To bleed me to death?..
                           Cover up embezzlements at your
                           bank?

Vanhorn shocked gathers his thoughts.

VANHORN
What are you saying Skeeter?

Skeeter calm questions Vanhorn.

                                         SKEETER
                           I’m saying!.. Don’t understand
                           your banking practices around
                           here!

Vanhorn curious questions.

VANHORN
Why?.. What don’t you understand?

Skeeter sarcastic questions Vanhorn.

                                         SKEETER
                           Well on a mortgage… If you pay
                           ahead the interest… Is it
                           standard banking practice for this
                           bank to disperse an amount equal
                           to… The total payment!..
                           Principle and interest.

Vanhorn bewildered. Skeeter speaks forceful loud.

                                         SKEETER (CONT’D)
                           To drug dealers… For purchases
                           of illegal Heroin?

Vanhorn stunned backs away speaks angry.

                                         VANHORN
                           You can’t say that!.. We’ll sue
                           you!.. For slander!

Skeeter confident responds.

SKEETER
No you won’t!.. Cause its true!

Vanhorn shaken responds insults Skeeter.

                                         VANHORN
                           What else Mel?.. What other
                           delusions?

Skeeter accuses bank.

                                         SKEETER
                           In so doing… Bank buys my farm
                           with my money… Tax free!..
                           Right?

Vanhorn scans bank lobby to determine who’s listening.
Vanhorn attempts to subdue Skeeter’s attack.

                                         VANHORN
                           Best be careful what you say..
                           Bank will destroy you!

Skeeter laughs confronts Vanhorn.

SKEETER
Already did!

Vanhorn attempts to undermine Skeeter’s claims.

VANHORN
What?.. More delusions Mel!

Skeeter calm speaks forceful continues.

                                         SKEETER
                           Yea… All those dead children!..
                           Guess they’re all delusions too?..
                           Right?

Skeeter speaks angry loud.

                                         SKEETER (CONT’D)
                           Delusions!.. Murdered by the greed
                           of this bank!.. Right?

Vanhorn stunned gathers his thoughts. Threatens Skeeter.

                                         VANHORN
                           That’s slander!.. You can’t
                           connect us!.. Can’t prove a damn
                           thing!.. Bank will sue your ass
                           off!

Skeeter stares hard stare to Vanhorn. Skeeter smiles
calmly responds.

SKEETER
Fuck off banker boy.

Vanhorn angered yells loud across bank lobby. Motions
with hand displays Skeeter to lobby.

                                         VANHORN
                           Look!… It’s Mel Gibson… From
                           the Conspiracy Theory… Look!

                 Bank patrons and employees look to Skeeter and Vanhorn.
                 Skeeter smiles in contempt. Vanhorn continues loud
                 teasing.

VANHORN (CONT’D)
Mel Gibson!… Mel Gibson!

                 Skeeter shakes head disgusted embarrassed as he looks to
                 Linda. She smiles in support. Skeeter calm explains to
                 Vanhorn.

                                         SKEETER
                           Just trying to survive… What
                           would you do?

Vanhorn frustrated walks away towards his office. Vanhorn
stops turns screams angry nasty loud.

VANHORN
I’d kill her!

8 EXT. SKEETER’S FORD EXPLORER – MORNING 8

                 A rooster crows as Skeeter drives Ford Explorer down
                 winding country road. Skeeter toots horn waves to man and
                 wife herding dairy cattle. Both waves. Skeeter passes two
                 men cultivating tobacco. Three deer cross the road in the
                 distance. Skeeter observes a big newly painted sign reads
                 “Clyde’s Interprizes”. Sign is attached to a run down
                 barn with junk and old rusty farm parts everywhere.
                 Skeeter passes barn observes old farmer in overalls sits
                 atop old rusty International bull dozer idles blows black
                 exhaust next to a mounted shotgun. Skeeter blows horn
                 stops pulls to side of road smiles yells to Clyde.

                                         SKEETER
                           Hey Clyde!.. Like your new sign…
                           When did you become an enterprise?

Clyde smiles with a wad of tobacco in his cheek. Spits
tobacco juice to the ground. Clyde yells.

                                         CLYDE
                           Been an enterprise… Whole
                           life… Never knowd it… Two
                           things… Same time… That’s
                           what they say.

Clyde smiles yells.

CLYDE (CONT’D)
Watch!

Clyde moves bull dozer forward stops yells.

CLYDE (CONT’D)
Now watch!

Clyde smiles ear to ear moves bull dozer backwards stops
yells.

                                         CLYDE (CONT’D)
                           Whatch you think?.. I’m an
                           Enterprise?

Skeeter laughs yells.

                                         SKEETER
                           Clyde you are… An enterprise!..
                           Hell your an International
                           Enterprise!.. That’s International
                           equipment?… Ain’t it?

CLYDE
Pose so!

Clyde laughs boast yells.

CLYDE (CONT’D)
International!.. Enterprise!

Skeeter smiles ear to ear motions yes yells.

                                         SKEETER
                           Got to go dude!.. Have a great
                           day!

                 Skeeter drives country road surrounded by wooded
                 hillsides slope to flowing creek along road. Skeeter
                 listens to music: Alabama. Distant roadway a buzzard
                 feeds on road kill. Buzzard flies towards Ford Explorer
                 barely misses windshield.

9 EXT. RESIDENTIAL CONSTRUCTION SITE – DAY 9

                 Skeeter approaches carpentry crew as they frame a roof
                 truss system. Brick mason crew veneers corner of
                 residence. Backhoe trenches sewer ditch. Plumbers lean to
                 shovels along ditch. Adjacent to site an excavator digs
                 foundation for a second residence. Brian (Framing
                 Contractor) observes Skeeter’s approach through window
                 opening. Brian yells to his carpenters.

BRIAN
Look Guys!.. Look who’s here!

Skeeter smiles to Brian who returns smile.

SKEETER
What’s up dude?

To background carpenters sing loud in truss system.

                                         CARPENTERS
                                (Sing)
                           M.I.C…K.E.Y… M.O.U.S.E.

Bricklayers sings along

                                         CARPENTERS & BRICKLAYERS
                                (Sing)
                           Mickey Mouse!……….
                                (Continue song)

Singing fades. Bricklayer 1 sings loud.

                                         BRICKLAYER 1
                                (Sing)
                           Y… Because we love you.

All laugh. Skeeter yells to singers.

                                         SKEETER
                           See you all… Remembered… My
                           Company song!

All laugh. Brian in jest questions Skeeter.

                                         BRIAN
                           Thought you disappeared?.. Heard
                           you were dead?.

Skeeter explains.

                                         SKEETER
                           No… Ain’t killed me yet!.. Keep
                           trying… Zig when they expect me
                           to zag… Then I zag!

Brian cuts plywood hands sheet to carpenters in trusses.
Brian returns to window opening questions Skeeter.

                                         BRIAN
                           Getting back into it?.. Got a
                           house for us?.. Tired of cookie
                           cutter boxes… Got some round
                           shit?

Skeeter smiles motions no.

                                         SKEETER
                           I wish… No… Just stopped by to
                           see the old crews… Get abused!

Skeeter laughs

SKEETER (CONT’D)
By some of my favorite assholes!

Skeeter shakes head.

                                         SKEETER (CONT’D)
                           Damn I miss it!.. Never see a
                           Skeeter Design again… Around
                           here… Bank made sure of that…
                           Going to Florida.

Carpenter in trusses yells

CARPENTER 1
Head Ache!

Sound of board falls to subfloor. Bricklayer yells in
jest.

                                         BRICKLAYER
                           Heard you were living along the
                           river?.. With the homeless?

Bricklayer smiles speaks in jest.

                                         BRICKLAYER (CONT’D)
                           Heard you had the fanciest
                           cardboard box on the river…
                           Fancy arched windows.

All laugh. Brian makes request of Skeeter.

                                         BRIAN
                           Skeeter?.. Hand me up a few two by
                           fours?

Skeeter hands four two by fours to Brian at window
opening.

                                         SKEETER
                           Guess I better get out of here…
                           Before Big Shot Builder sees me…
                           Just wanted to stop by… Say hi.

Brian responds.

BRIAN
Fuck!.. Builder Bitch Boy!

Skeeter yells to workman.

SKEETER
You all take care now… You hear?

Skeeter enters Ford Explorer. Carpenters in trusses begin
singing.

                                         CARPENTERS
                                (Sing)
                           Happy trails… To you.

Bricklayers sing along.

                                         CARPENTERS & BRICKLAYERS
                                (Sing)
                           Until… We meet… Again… Happy
                           trails… To you.

Skeeter drives away. Brian smiles yells from window
opening.

BRIAN
Fuck em up Skeeter!

Carpenters and bricklayers laugh singing.

                                         CARPENTERS & BRICKLAYERS
                                (Sing)
                           Until… We meet again!

All workman return to work… All quiet except for sound
of mortar mixer. Carpenter 1 yells.

CARPENTER 1
Plywood!

Sound of a power saw can be heard.

Fade to Black

Path Towards the Light Ornery Asshole! Screenplay "Kiss My Ass K.Y." Part 3

skeetron — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 03:33:59 +0000

Kiss My Ass K.Y.

Rated R

Part 3: Scenes 10-16

by Steven Jeffrey Cull

BASED ON A TRUE STORY

by SKEETRON

10 EXT. MAC’S BUSINESS PARKING LOT – DAY 10

                 Skeeter and Mac carry document boxes from open rear hatch
                 of Ford Explorer. Each place box inside entrance door
                 next to truck loading dock. Skeeter lights cigarette sits
                 to raised curb along side loading dock. Mac stands.

                                         SKEETER
                           Mac… These are the last boxes…
                           Appreciate you keeping them
                           secure… Make the Treasury
                           Department happy.

Mac obliges reassures Skeeter.

                                         MAC
                           You’re welcome… Do anything to
                           help… You know that.

Mac sits on curb. Questions Skeeter.

MAC (CONT’D)
When are you leaving?

Skeeter informs calmly.

                                         SKEETER
                           Tomorrow morning… They don’t
                           kill me tonight.

Mac knowledgable of situation questions Skeeter.

MAC
They fuck’n with you again?

Skeeter speaks calm as he explains.

                                         SKEETER
                           Every day… Ain’t the cops…
                           It’s the drug dealers… Ain’t the
                           bank… It’s attorneys… They
                           just keep coming… Never stop.

Mac shakes head in disgust. Skeeter explains.

                                         SKEETER (CONT’D)
                           I feel like Jeremiah Johnson…
                           Remember that movie?

Mac nods “yes”. Skeeter compares lives.

                                         SKEETER (CONT’D)
                           Indians keep coming out of the
                           snow!.. To kill em!.. That’s how I
                           feel!.. Jeremiah Johnson was
                           lucky… He could kill or be
                           killed… Not me!.. If I defend my
                           life!.. They use it against me!

Mac explains strategies of criminals.

                                         MAC
                           They’re just trying to piss you
                           off Skeeter… Get you to do
                           something stupid… Then they’ll
                           hang you!

Mac smiles. Skeeter laughs motions “Yes” in agreement.
Mac continues.

                                         MAC (CONT’D)
                           They’re goin to come at you from
                           every direction… Try to fuck you
                           up!.. Get you to make a mistake…
                           Don’t be sucked in!

Skeeter confirms.

SKEETER
Think you’re right.

Mac recommends survival strategy.

                                         MAC
                           As long as you stay on the path
                           towards the light… Sure it seems
                           like a pin hole right now… But
                           you stay on the path… Fuckers
                           cannot touch you!

Skeeter agrees.

SKEETER
Pinhole!.. You’re right there!

Mac warns.

                                         MAC
                           You let them get you off the
                           path… They’ll destroy you
                           Skeeter… Seems simple.

Mac summarizes in jest.

                                         MAC (CONT’D)
                           Stay on the path asshole!.. Quit
                           smok’n too!.. You onery dog!

Skeeter stands lights a cigarette. Mac harasses in jest.

                                         MAC (CONT’D)
                           Look at you… Light another
                           one!.. Stubborn asshole!

Skeeter smiles as he walks to Ford Explorer.

                                         MAC (CONT’D)
                           Have a safe ride to Key West…
                           When you get there… Get you a
                           lady… Spank her!

Skeeter laughs turns to Mac. Skeeter proclaims loudly in
jest.

                                         SKEETER
                           Hell with that!.. She can spank
                           me.
                                (Hillbilly Accent)
                           On my Lily white!

Skeeter smiles. Mac stands smiles ear to ear.

11 EXT. FAST FOOD DRIVE THROUGH – NIGHT 11

                 Skeeter drives Ford Explorer orders fast food at intercom
                 with camera. Skeeters pulls to window. Five employees
                 observe as drug pusher employee hands bag of food and
                 drink to Skeeter. Skeeter observes employees smiling as
                 he receives food. Skeeter aware food tampered with opens
                 wrappers drops food to ground. Skeeter smiles speaks to
                 drug pusher employee.

                                         SKEETER
                           Didn’t order heroin… Pusher
                           boy… Dealing drugs at a drive
                           through is illegal… Have a good
                           day.

Skeeter drives exits pick up window.

                                         PUSHER BOY
                                (V.O)
                           Fuck you Skeeter!

12 EXT. FOUR LANE HIGHWAY – NIGHT. 12

                 Skeeter drives Ford Explorer in curb lane of four lane
                 highway. Redneck truck passes pulls to front of Skeeter.
                 Redneck truck slows as young crackwhore passenger gives
                 Skeeter the finger. Skeeter smiles drives to pass redneck
                 truck. Redneck truck accelerates fast. Skeeter drives
                 returns to curb lane listens to music.

13 EXT. JOYCE’S MOTHER’S HOUSE – DAY 13

                 Skeeter rides motorcycle (Suzy) on gravel drive towards
                 house. Skeeter parks motorcycle removes a rotary dial
                 phone from saddle bag. Carries phone enters front porch
                 of residence. An older lady (Mrs. Popp) sits at sofa.
                 Mrs. Popp speaks friendly.

MRS. POPP
Hi Skeeter.

Mrs. Popp yells through door into house.

                                         MRS. POPP (CONT’D)
                           Joycey!.. Joycey!.. Skeeter’s
                           here!

Skeeter hands phone to Mrs. Popp.

                                         SKEETER
                           Here’s my rotary dial… You take
                           good care of it… Think we had
                           the last two.

Mrs. Popp smiles.

MRS. POPP
Thanks… Skeeter.

Mrs. Popp yells through door into house.

MRS. POPP (CONT’D)
Joycey!.. Skeeter!

Joey yells from within house.

                                         JOEY
                                (VO)
                           Mom!.. Skeeter!

Skeeter smiles to Mrs. Popp. Joyce yells from within
house.

                                         JOYCE
                                (VO)
                           Hold your horses… Calm down old
                           lady… Be out in a minute
                           Skeeter.

Mrs. Popp speaks in jest to Skeeter.

MRS. POPP
Give her a little of my old lady.

                 Skeeter sits next to Mrs. Popp on sofa. Mrs. Popp spins
                 rotary on phone. Joey and Teenager 1 exit door run across
                 porch leap to lawn begin tossing football. Skeeter and
                 Mrs. Popp smile to one another. Joyce enters porch smiles
                 to Skeeter. Joyce sits down next to Skeeter on sofa.

                                         JOYCE
                           Mom… Ain’t you got some stew to
                           stir?

Skeeter laughs. Joyce smiles to Skeeter.

                                         JOYCE (CONT’D)
                           You’re really going to do it?…
                           Key West!

Skeeter grins ear to ear nods “yes”. Joyce smiles.

14 INT. DAIRY DELIGHT – DAY 14

                 Skeeter, Robby, and Joanie sit in booth at Dairy Delight.
                 All eat ice cream. Robby grabs cherry atop Joanie’s ice
                 cream. Robby quickly eats cherry smiles ear to ear.
                 Joanie scolds Robby.

JOANIE
You’re an asshole Robby!

Robby looks to Skeeter. Both laugh. Joanie laughs. Robby
changes subject. Speaks in jest to Skeeter and Joanie.

                                         ROBBY
                           Joanie’s got a new boyfriend dad..
                           He’s an idiot… Got Dumbo ears!

Joanie smiles speaks in defense.

                                         JOANIE
                           He does not!.. You’re an idiot
                           Robby!

Skeeter in jest questions Joanie.

SKEETER
Where did you meet Dumbo Joanie?

Robby laughs. Joanie embarrassed defends boyfriend.

                                         JOANIE
                           Dad!.. Don’t call him Dumbo!..
                           Robby’s stupid!.. Goes to my
                           school… He’s rad!

Robby laughs interrupts.

ROBBY
Dumbo rad!

Joanie smiles scolds Robby.

JOANIE
Shut up Robby!

Robby smiles ear to ear. Skeeter serious explains.

                                         SKEETER
                           Robby Joanie listen!.. Won’t be
                           seeing you kids for a little
                           while… Head’n out of town.

Robby concerned questions Skeeter.

ROBBY
Where you going dad?

Skeeter serious answers.

                                         SKEETER
                           Key West!. Ride’n Suzy!.. Need to
                           get out of this hell hole for
                           awhile.

Skeeter serious makes request of Robby and Joanie.

SKEETER (CONT’D)
Don’t tell anybody… O.K.

Robby confident responds. Questions Joanie.

ROBBY
We won’t!… Right Joanie?

Joanie eats ice cream nods “yes”. Skeeter explains.

                                         SKEETER
                           Need a break… Assholes around
                           here… Keep screwing with me.

Robby knowledgable interrupts questions Skeeter.

                                         ROBBY
                           The drug fuckers?.. Or bank?.. Or
                           mom?.. Who?

Skeeter calmly confirms.

SKEETER
Yea… Plus a few.

Robby nods “understood”. Joanie excited makes request.

JOANIE
Send us a post card?.. Dad.

Skeeter smiles nods “yes”. Skeeter serious explains.

                                         SKEETER
                           Not sure when I’ll be back… You
                           all need to take care of each
                           other… That all you really
                           have… Is one another.

Joanie smiles an innocent smile makes request.

JOANIE
Got any money dad?

Robby confirms request.

ROBBY
We’re tired of Raviolis!

Skeeter serious justifies.

                                         SKEETER
                           Your mother gets plenty…
                           Supposed to be for you kids…
                           Cocaine!.. Expensive habit.

Robby interrupts protects mother.

ROBBY
Don’t want to hear it dad.

                 Skeeter stands removes wallet hands a one hundred dollars
                 bill to Joanie. Joanie displays money to Robby. Joanie
                 smiles to Skeeter.

JOANIE
Thanks dad!

Skeeter holds wallet speaks in jest to Robby.

SKEETER
Guess you want one too?

Robby smiles ear to ear. Skeeter hands a one hundred
dollar bill to Robby.

ROBBY
Thanks dad!

Skeeter serious warns Robby and Joanie.

                                         SKEETER
                           Don’t let your mother get it!..
                           Make it last.

Robby stands reassures Skeeter.

ROBBY
We won’t!

Robby leans advises Joanie.

                                         ROBBY (CONT’D)
                           Hear Joanie?.. Don’t tell mom!..
                           You’re not getting mine!

15 EXT. DAIRY DELIGHT – DAY 15

Skeeter starts motorcycle (Suzy) walks stands between
Robby and Joanie. Skeeter motions for hug.

SKEETER
Come here!.. Give me a big hug!

Robby and Joanie stand to sides of Skeeter. Skeeter sad
(Goodbye) hugs both. Skeeter kisses both atop heads.

                                         SKEETER (CONT’D)
                           Love you Rob… Love you Joanie…
                           Forever and ever.

                 Skeeter places helmet to head mounts motorcycle. Skeeter
                 travels forward makes U-turn returns stares sad smile as
                 he passes Robby and Joanie. Joanie and Robby sad
                 (Goodbye) yell.

JOANIE AND ROBBY
Love you dad!

                 Skeeter exits parking lot on motorcycle. Robby hugs
                 Joanie. Joanie smiles to Robby. They walk forward. Both
                 smile.

16 EXT. SKEETER’S FARM BARN AREA – SUNSET 16

                 Skeeter rides motorcycle towards barn from street
                 observes man stands along four rail wood fence holds
                 shotgun. Man stares to hay field unaware of Skeeter’s
                 approach. Skeeter stops approaches Alford.

SKEETER
What are you doing!

Man does not respond. Skeeter approaches stands next to
man.

SKEETER (CONT’D)
What the hell you doing?

                 Alford slowly turns lowers shotgun points to top of
                 Skeeter’s head stares a blank angry drug induced stare to
                 Skeeter.

                                         SKEETER (CONT’D)
                           What are you doing?.. What’s going
                           on?

Alford stares without response. Alford turns stares to
hay field.

                                         SKEETER (CONT’D)
                           You need to go home… Sleep it
                           off.

Alford speaks slow (Angry Drug addict).

ALFORD
Shoot him in the head.

Skeeter fearful questions Alford.

SKEETER
Shoot me?.. Goin shoot me?

Alford speaks slow loud (Angry Drug addict).

ALFORD
Shoot him!.. In the head!

Skeeter fearful questions.

SKEETER
What I ever do to you?

Skeeter attempts to calm Alford.

SKEETER (CONT’D)
You just need to go home.

                 Alford turns slow walks away along fence towards street.
                 Alford turns points shotgun towards Skeeter. Skeeter
                 fearful. Alford lowers shotgun turns walks slow towards
                 street. Sun sets at distant hilltop as Alford disappears
                 into darkness along fence.

Fade to Black

Bonsai Easy Rider! Thy Shall Fear No Evil! Screenplay "Kiss My Ass K.Y." Part 4

skeetron — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 03:02:36 +0000

Kiss My Ass K.Y.

Rated R

Part 4: Scenes 17-29

by Steven Jeffrey Cull

BASED ON A TRUE STORY

by SKEETRON

17     EXT. SKEETER’S RESIDENCE DRIVEWAY – MORNING           17
                 Residence: Old run down log sided 1 1/2 story. 30′ x 40′.
                 Suzy: Red 2000 Suzuki 800 Intruder; Leather saddle bags
                 and Wind Shield. Red Helmet with clear face shield.

                 Skeeter pets dogs goodbye in drive next to his residence.
                 Sound of distant gun fire can be heard between moos of
                 cows.
                 Motorcycle (Suzy) loaded with rear motorcycle backpack
                 idles in drive. Red sleeping bag and additional storage
                 bags strapped atop rear of seat. Fully loaded. Skeeter
                 makes cellphone call. Phone rings. Skeeter listens to
                 voice recording.

                                         GARY
                                (V.O.)
                           Federal DEA… Louisville
                           Division… Special Agent in
                           Charge… Please leave a message.

Skeeter paces drive as he leaves message.

                                         SKEETER
                           Hey Gary!.. Skeeter… Taking a
                           little motorcycle ride.

Skeeter stares to old run down residence.

                                         SKEETER (CONT’D)
                           Key West!.. And back… Taking
                           back roads… Kick their fuck’n
                           asses for me!

Mentally questions as to whether he would return.

SKEETER (CONT’D)
Happy Trails!

                 Skeeter shuts off cellphone walks across lawn throws
                 cellphone into lake. Cellphone splashes as ducks scatter
                 swim quaking from splash. Skeeter stares to lake and
                 surrounding wooded hillside. Skeeter turns walks to
                 motorcycle. Puts on a brown leather jacket and red
                 helmet. Mounts motorcycle revs engine. Skeeter rides
                 motorcycle up gravel drive. Rounds bend. Dogs follow wag
                 tails.

18 EXT. SKEETER’S BARN – MORNING 18

                 Skeeter rides motorcycle slow passes barn. A Red-Tail
                 Hawk (God) sweeps down then up sounds its call (Approval)
                 as it disappears into sunlight.

19 EXT. CLAY RIDGE ROAD & US 27 (GRANT’S LICK, KY.)- MORNING19

                 Skeeter rides motorcycle slow pass Grant’s Lick Market.
                 He waves to store owner who returns wave. School children
                 idle along road next to a run down apartment building
                 across street. A middle age man approaches them
                 displaying a plastic bag of drugs. School bus toots horn
                 as it passes drug transaction. Skeeter approaches US 27.
                 A shot gun peppered road sign “Welcome To Grant’s Lick”
                 can be seen as he passes. Skeeter turns south on US 27.
                 He crest the first hill as the sun’s glare erases his
                 travel.

20 EXT. US 27 (RURAL AREA) – MORNING 20

                 Skeeter smiles as he rides motorcycle down sunlit road.
                 He approaches multiple cows lined up grazing over fence
                 facing road. Skeeter toots horn twice as he passes cows.
                 Two cows raise heads mooing their approval as he passes.
                 Cows return to grazing.

21 EXT. COUNTRY ROAD (KY. RT460 E) – AFTERNOON 21

                 Skeeter rides motorcycle down curving sloping country
                 road bordered by Kentucky horse farms. Horses gallop
                 along fence as though riding along side. Skeeter gives
                 two fingers downward motorcycle wave to group of
                 motorcycles as they travel in opposite direction. Skeeter
                 enjoys the ride as he approaches a white shed building.
                 Atop a wood cut out ice cream cone. Skeeter slows parks
                 motorcycle in gravel parking area aside building. A
                 family sits at bench stare to Skeeter as he walks to
                 ordering window.

SKEETER
Medium vanilla cone please.

                 Skeeter smiles leans backwards to a horse tie up fence at
                 front of building. A young lady hands an ice cream cone
                 through window to Skeeter.

SKEETER (CONT’D)
Thank you young lady.

                 Skeeter smiles walks to a vacant bench. He sits smiles to
                 the country people as they stare. An Older Country Lady 1
                 approaches sits on bench next to Skeeter. Older Country
                 Lady 1 smiles to Skeeter. She points to motorcycle.

OLDER COUNTRY LADY 1
Sure is a pretty motorcycle…

Older Country Lady 1 questions Skeeter.

OLDER COUNTRY LADY 1 (CONT’D)
Not from around here are you?

Skeeter smiles.

                                         SKEETER
                           No Ma’am… From up near
                           Cincinnati.

Older Country Lady 1 eats ice cream with a plastic spoon.

OLDER COUNTRY LADY 1
Brother went to Cincinnati.

Older Country Lady 1 slowly licks ice cream from her
lips.

                                         OLDER COUNTRY LADY 1 (CONT’D)
                           Said they had some of them there
                           Skyscrapers… Not me… Went to
                           Lexington… Once… Horse Park.

Skeeter interrupts.

SKEETER
Went there too… Long time ago.

Older Country Lady 1 excited

                                         OLDER COUNTRY LADY 1
                           Bought me a new hat… In
                           Lexington… One of them there
                           fancy horse lady hats… Wear it
                           every year… To the fair.

Older Country Lady 1 licks ice cream in spoon.

                                         OLDER COUNTRY LADY 1 (CONT’D)
                           Last year… Grandson!.. Won!..
                           Hog calling contest!

Skeeter laughs.

SKEETER
That right?

Skeeter smiles ear to ear.

                                         SKEETER (CONT’D)
                           Young lady… One day… Like to
                           see you in that fancy horse lady
                           hat.

Older Country Lady blushes smiles.

                                         SKEETER (CONT’D)
                           Enjoyed talking with you… Time
                           to head down the road… Burning
                           daylight.

Skeeter attempts to stand. Older Country Lady 1 gentle
grabs Skeeter’s forearm. Skeeter sits listens.

OLDER COUNTRY LADY 1
Where you head’n… Young Man.

Skeeter excited.

SKEETER
Key West!

Older Country Lady 1 blushes explains her perception.

                                         OLDER COUNTRY LADY 1
                           Oh my!.. Heard it’s so hot…
                           People don’t wear clothes…

Older Country Lady 1 concerned.

                                         OLDER COUNTRY LADY 1 (CONT’D)
                           Young man… Better wear
                           clothes… Get sunburn… On your
                           Ding Dong!

Older Country Lady 1 smiles. Skeeter blushes then changes
subject.

                                         SKEETER
                           Got an idea!.. Get that fancy
                           hat… Come with me?

Older Country Lady 1 smiles.

                                         OLDER COUNTRY LADY 1
                           No… Couldn’t do that… Too
                           old… Forty years ago……

Skeeter interrupts stands smiles to Older Country Lady.

SKEETER
Never too old!.. Last chance.

                 Older Country Lady 1 raises her hand to shake Skeeter’s
                 hand. Skeeter kisses the top of her hand. Both smile.
                 Skeeter walks towards motorcycle. He smiles places helmet
                 on head. Skeeter rides down country road waves goodbye.
                 Older Country Lady 2 sits at bench next to Older Country
                 Lady 1.

                                         OLDER COUNTRY LADY 2
                           Who was that?.. On that
                           motorcycle?

Older Country Lady 1 boast to Older Country Lady 2.

OLDER COUNTRY LADY 1
My new boyfriend!

Older Country Lady 2 in disbelief.

OLDER COUNTRY LADY 2
Naa!.. Your fool’n!

Older Country Lady 1 leans to Older Country Lady 2. Older
Country Lady 1 serious boast.

                                         OLDER COUNTRY LADY 1
                           Serious… Got a big!.. Red!..
                           Ding Dong!

Both giggle loud together. Both smile. Both eat ice cream
stare down road.

22 EXT. COUNTRY ROAD (KY. RT23S) – LATE AFTERNOON 22

                 Motorcycle engine purrs as Skeeter rides upon winding
                 sloping country road. Skeeter observes the distance
                 sunlit silhouette of the Appalachian Mountains. A dark
                 storm cloud follows his every move. Lightning intensifies
                 the evil in pursuit.

23 EXT. MOTEL ROOM – NIGHT 23

                 Skeeter exits Motel Room places tire lock cable to rear
                 tire of motorcycle. He is the only motel customer. Total
                 quiet fills the air. Skeeter stares to the night skies as
                 a shooting star streaks against the starlit skies as
                 through entering the “Twilight Zone”. Suddenly a loud
                 muffler sounds. A vehicle rounds the motel corner. An old
                 white Volkwagon Van rattles exhausting smoke as it parks
                 at adjacent motel room. Bright green plant life can be
                 seen through full side and rear glass windows of Van. A
                 Small Oriental Man 1 (God) exits Van opens Motel Room
                 door. He opens rear Van door carries one by one small
                 plants into motel room. Skeeter nods hello. Small
                 Oriental Man 1 carries a Bonsai Tree approaches Skeeter.

                                         SMALL ORIENTAL MAN 1
                                (Oriental accent)
                           Sir… Bonsai Tree?

Skeeter observes closely Bonsai Tree.

                                         SKEETER
                           Very nice… You do good work
                           sir… No where to carry tree.

Skeeter points to motorcycle.

SKEETER (CONT’D)
Motorcycle.

Small Oriental Man 1 does not understand. Presents Bonsai
Tree to Skeeter.

                                         SMALL ORIENTAL MAN 1
                                (Oriental accent)
                           You like?.. Gift!.. Give you “Tree
                           of Life”!

Skeeter questions how to explain situation.

                                         SKEETER
                           Beautiful tree… Thank you
                           very… Very much sir.

Skeeter places hands together bows in thanks.

SKEETER (CONT’D)
But… No thanks.

                 Small Oriental Man 1 returns bow. Skeeter opens hands
                 tries to explain. Skeeter points to motorcycle. Small
                 Oriental Man 1 appears to understand. Skeeter smiles ear
                 to ear looks to eyes (Wisdom) of Small Oriental Man 1.
                 Small Oriental Man 1 returns big smile questions Skeeter.

SMALL ORIENTAL MAN 1
Name sir?

Skeeter responds.

SKEETER
Skeeter!

Small Oriental Man 1 displays Bonsai tree. He points to
tree naming tree “Skeeter”.

                                         SMALL ORIENTAL MAN 1
                           Skee… Ter.

Small Oriental Man 1 raises Bonsai Tree. He bows head to
tree.

SMALL ORIENTAL MAN 1
Skeeter… Tree of Life!

Skeeter questions situation. He give big warm smile to
Small Oriental Man 1.

SKEETER
Thank you sir.

                 Small Oriental Man 1 turns places Bonsai Tree in rear of
                 Van. One by one he carries Bonsai Trees from motel room
                 carefully placing each within the Van. Skeeter observes
                 sits in plastic chair smoking cigarette. Small Oriental
                 Man 1 loads all trees. Stares a kind stare to Skeeter. He
                 enters Van drives away towards opposite end of motel. A
                 loud backfire can be heard. A cloud of exhaust fumes
                 follows the Van as it rounds corner of motel. Skeeter
                 observes bright starlit skies as all goes quiet. He
                 smiles realizing the truth of occurrence. Exit Twilight
                 Zone.

24 EXT. MOTEL ROOM – SUNRISE 24

                 Skeeter exits motel room carrying backpack to motorcycle.
                 He unfastens a saddle bag displaying his mother’s
                 laminated obituary notice “Joan Patricia Cull”. Skeeter
                 turns notice reads “Thy as you walk through the valley of
                 the shadow of death. Thy shall fear no evil.”.

25 EXT. COUNTRY ROAD (APPALACHIAN MOUNTAIN) – MORNING 25

                 Skeeter rides motorcycle (Suzy) up roadway approaches
                 sunlit Appalachian Mountains. Dark storm clouds in far
                 off rear horizon. Skeeter rides enters a steep sloping
                 roadway bordered by mature forest as sunlight glistens
                 through canopy above. As Skeeter passes a “Welcome to
                 North Carolina” sign a stuffed yellow Sponge Bob hat
                 faces rearward from motorcycle backpack. Sponge Bob hat
                 bounces in wind as through laughing at Kentucky.
                 Lightning strikes as storm gains on Skeeter from rear.
                 Skeeter looks rearward. Skeeter smiles a big wild smile
                 quickly climbs a steep section of roadway.

26 EXT. COUNTRY ROAD (TO MILE HIGH BRIDGE) – LATE MORNING 26

                 Skeeter rides motorcycle (Suzy) up steep winding road
                 above tree line. He rides climbs towards top of sunlit
                 mountain. Below a snow-like cloud blanket extends to
                 horizon. Muffled sound of thunder can be heard as cloud
                 blanket flashes below. Skeeter smiles forward in awe as
                 Sponge Bob appears to laughs rearward. A rainbow (God)
                 can be seen aside mountain peak. An American Flag crowns
                 its glory.

27 EXT. SKEETER’S RESIDENCE – NIGHT 27

                 Dogs bark at two Dirty Cops walk to rear porch of
                 Skeeter’s residence. Dirty Cop 2 kicks at dog. Dirty Cop
                 1 questions Dirty Cop 2.

DIRTY COP 1
Got the key?

                 Dirty Cop 2 hands key to Dirty Cop 1. Dirty Cop 1 unlocks
                 door enters Skeeter’s residence followed by Dirty Cop 2.
                 Home security alarm beeps. Dirty Cop 2 enters code shuts
                 off alarm. Dirty Cop 1 instructs Dirty Cop 2.

DIRTY COP 1 (CONT’D)
Check his office… Upstairs.

Three loud motorcycles can be heard. Dirty Cop 1 advises
Dirty Cop 2.

                                         DIRTY COP 1 (CONT’D)
                           Our enforcers are here… Let me
                           do the talking.

                 Dirt Cop 1 inspects bedroom. Three Iron Horsemen enter
                 residence. Iron Horseman 2 carries sawed off shotgun.
                 Iron Horseman 3 carries horse saddle bag on his shoulder.
                 Dirty Cop 2 walks down stairs. Iron Horseman 2 startled
                 turns points shotgun towards Dirty Cop 2.

DIRTY COP 2
Everything’s gone.

Dirty Cop 2 motions to Iron Horseman 2 to lower shotgun.

DIRTY COP 2 (CONT’D)
Put it down!

Iron Horseman 2 lowers shotgun. Dirty Cop 2 explains.

DIRTY COP 2 (CONT’D)
Few pieces of paper… Some dust.

                 Sound of Quadrunners can be heard approaching rear porch.
                 Iron Horseman 2 aims shotgun though rear door. Francis
                 and Alford ride to rear porch on Quadrunners. Alford
                 yells.

                                         ALFORD
                           Don’t shoot me Couz!.. Grandma
                           kick your ass!

Iron Horseman 2 smiles lowers shotgun. Dirty Cop 1 speaks
to all as Francis and Alford enter residence.

                                         DIRTY COP 1
                           He’s gone… Thought your Druggies
                           were tracking him?.. We’re fucked!

All inspect interior of residence as Dirty Cop 1 makes
cellphone call.

                                         DIRTY COP 1 (CONT’D)
                           Chief… Bad news… Skeeter’s
                           gone… House… Cleaned out…
                           Couple pieces of junk furniture…
                           That’s all.

Iron Horseman 2 kicks coffee table to fireplace. Dirty
Cop 1 questions Iron Horseman Carson.

DIRTY COP 1 (CONT’D)
Bring the drugs?

Iron Horseman Carson motions to Iron Horseman 3. Iron
Horseman 3 removes a large plastic bag of brown powder.

                                         DIRTY COP 1 (CONT’D)
                           Plant it!.. In the basement… Up
                           high… Case it floods… Make it
                           visible… So even a “Goody” can
                           find it!

Dirty Cop 2 observes envelope atop fireplace mantle.
Dirty Cop 2 picks up envelope opens reads.

DIRTY COP 2
Kiss my Ass!

                 Dirty Cop 2 displays letter written in large bold black
                 marker “KISS MY ASS!” over “BITCH BOYS” signed Skeeter.
                 Iron Horseman Carson stares in anger. Roar of motorcycles
                 accelerating can be heard in darkness.

28 EXT. SKEETER’S RESIDENCE – MORNING 28

                 Alford slowly rides quadrunner to rear porch enters
                 Skeeter’s residence. Dogs bark at ducks upon lake. One
                 dog enters lake swims chases ducks. Alford smiles exits
                 Skeeter’s residence carries large (Planted Drugs) plastic
                 bag of brown powder. Alford smiles rides up drive with
                 bag of powder on fuel tank between his legs as he samples
                 drugs. To background the sound of ducks can be heard
                 quacking as through they were laughing (God).

29 EXT. ROUTE 17S GEORGIA/FLORIDA – DAY 29

                 Sun shines as Skeeter rides motorcycle (Suzy) approaches
                 sign “Welcome to Florida” among palm trees. Skeeter
                 smiles gives two fingers down wave to motorcycles headed
                 opposite direction. Sponge Bob hat mounted to rear of
                 motorcycle backpack appears to dance and laugh rearward
                 towards Kentucky.

Fade to Black.

Your Going on Mister Toad's Wild Ride! Screenplay "Kiss My Ass K.Y." Part 5

skeetron — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 02:06:07 +0000

Kiss My Ass K.Y.

Rated R

Part 5: Scenes 30-41

by Steven Jeffrey Cull

BASED ON A TRUE STORY

by SKEETRON

29 EXT. ROUTE 17S GEORGIA/FLORIDA – DAY 29

30 INT. OFFICE (OLD MOB)(GOD) NEW YORK – DAY 30

                 Spike, Vinny, and Al sit at coffee table admire New York
                 sky line from elaborate high rise office. Faces never
                 visible. Smoke rises as Vinny smokes cigar. Sound of ice
                 can be heard as it swirls in cocktails. Frank Sinatra
                 music can be heard in background. Sexy Secretary walks
                 hand paper message to Al’s from behind. Al reads message
                 laughs. Spike questions Al.

SPIKE
What’s so funny?

Al laughs as he replies.

                                         AL
                           Fuck’n Skeeter… Fuck’n with em
                           again!

Vinny smokes cigar.

VINNY
What now?

Al laughs as he explains.

                                         AL
                           Crazy bastard took off on his
                           motorcycle… Head’n down the east
                           coast towards Miami.

Spike and Vinny laugh.

                                         AL (CONT’D)
                           Looks like we got another
                           Hillbillies uprising.. They can’t
                           find him… Don’t know where he’s
                           at… They want our help.

Vinny holds cigar.

VINNY
Fuck them…

Vinny places cigar to ashtray raises cocktail.

VINNY (CONT’D)
Good for you Skeeter!

Al places message to coffee table. All raise cocktails in
toasting.

AL
Go!.. Skeeter!.. Go!

All laugh. The Statue of Liberty can be seen across the
New York skyline.

31 INT. OFFICE (BANK) – LATE AFTERNOON 31

Mann stands at front of desk. Vanhorn sits behind desk
explains situation to Mann.

                                         VANHORN
                           We’re in trouble… Noran’s on his
                           way… Called associates!

Vanhorn disgusted shakes head questions Mann.

                                         VANHORN (CONT’D)
                           What happened?.. How the hell did
                           he disappear?.. Thousand eyes
                           watching Skeeter!.. What?.. Is he
                           Houdini?

Mann upset explains.

                                         MANN
                           No one believed him!.. Nobody his
                           age… Takes off… On a
                           motorcycle… By himself… Cross
                           country.

Vanhorn upset explains situation.

                                         VANHORN
                           He’s gone!.. Motorcycle’s gone!
                           Better find him!.. Noran…
                           Crawford… Think… The Feds are
                           behind it!

Mann worried looks to Vanhorn.

MANN
Hope not.

Noran enters office angry confronts Mann.

                                         NORAN
                           Better have good news… Where the
                           hell is Skeeter?

Mann scared explains.

                                         MANN
                           Working on it.. We have every drug
                           addict in the country… Look’n
                           for him.

Noran angry questions Mann.

                                         NORAN
                           What are your damn dirty cops
                           doing?

Mann explains.

                                         MANN
                           Skeeter’s not in Kentucky… No
                           other state will cooperate… Feds
                           made sure of that.

Noran justifies his anger to Vanhorn.

                                         NORAN
                           Our associates won’t help us…
                           Called Chicago… Cleveland…
                           Detroit… Finally New York.

Noran angry confronts Mann.

                                         NORAN (CONT’D)
                           They all laughed!.. Called me a
                           bitch!

Noran angry instructs Mann.

                                         NORAN (CONT’D)
                           You need to have our Iron Horseman
                           track him… Find him… Kill
                           him!.. Make it!.. Our… Skeeter
                           Hoffa!

32 EXT. BEACH (AMELIA ISLAND) – NIGHT 32

                 Back of Skeeter sits naked in shallow waters of moonlit
                 Atlantic Ocean. Skeeter smokes cigarette stares to ocean.
                 Waves gentle wash to lone sand beach. Skeeter stands
                 raises arms in thanks towards God and Ocean. From
                 darkness of beach can be heard the heckling of two older
                 ladies. Beach Lady 1 whistles. Both Ladies Laugh. Skeeter
                 stands unaffected trans-like. Beach Lady 2 smiles looks
                 to Beach Lady 1. Beach Lady 2 yells.

BEACH LADY 1
Cute butt!

Both ladies laugh. Skeeter responds embarrassed turns
covers himself with his hands. Skeeter smiles.

33 EXT. SEVEN MILE BRIDGE (MARATHON, FL) LATE AFTERNOON 33

                 Skeeter rides motorcycle (Suzy) southbound across Seven
                 Mile Bridge. Skeeter smiles towards the red glow of sun
                 low in sky as he climbs the slope over Moser Channel.
                 Skeeter observes a yacht navigates channel as Crab Boats
                 raise and lower traps. A Tractor Trailer toots horn twice
                 prior to passing Skeeter in opposite direction. Skeeter
                 gives thumbs up as they pass.

34 EXT. DUVAL STREET (KEY WEST) – SUNSET 34

                 Skeeter slowly rides motorcycle (Suzy) down Duval Street
                 approaches old style Casa Blanca Hotel. Skeeter makes U
                 turn parks motorcycle observes few people and little
                 activity on Duval Street. He enters Casa Blanca Hotel.

35 EXT. I-75S (COVINGTON, KY) SUNSET 35

                 Eight loud chopped-out motorcycles (Gang Members)
                 approach an upward bend of Interstate 75 two by two in
                 regiment southbound through Covington Kentucky. Deadly
                 stares can be observed as they pass. Cincinnati skyline
                 glows between spans of bridges above Ohio River. As
                 regiment rounds bend a street light accents “Colors”
                 (Iron Horseman) of their worn grubby leather jackets.
                 Motorcycles two by two fade into darkness.

36 EXT. CASA BLANCA HOTEL – NIGHT 36

                 A rooster crows as Skeeter smiles exits Casa Blanca
                 Hotel. He stands in amazement observes activities of
                 Duval Street. Skeeter smiles ear to ear as he walks
                 zigging and zagging within pedestrians buzzing in all
                 directions on sidewalks. Skeeter observes taxi cabs,
                 cars, scooters, motorcycles, odd shaped electric buggies,
                 among other strange vehicles all blowing horns ringing
                 bells as they weave in and out along street. Rickshaws
                 pulled by either foot power or bike maneuver along curb
                 to obtain their next fare. Skeeter observes Duval Street
                 has awoken into its nightly weird festival.

37 EXT. SIDEWALK GAY NIGHTCLUB (DUVAL ST.)- NIGHT 37

                 Skeeter follows behind a young couple on sidewalk as all
                 approach a Gay Nightclub. Three Drag Queens stand at the
                 entrance to club. As young couple passes entrance Drag
                 Queens begin heckling young man.

                                         DRAG QUEEN 1
                                (Feminine)
                           Come in!.. See our show!

Drag Queen 1 dances feminine.

                                         DRAG QUEEN 2
                                (Feminine)
                           Know you want to!.. Big boy!

                 All Drag Queens laugh and dance. Young man shakes head no
                 as he walks stares forward. Young lady turns smiles.
                 Young man hastens walk pulls young lady along. Drag Queen
                 1 laughs yells.

                                         DRAG QUEEN 1
                                (Feminine)
                           Dance for us!.. We want to see
                           your Big Boy!…… Big Boy!

                 All Drag Queens laugh. Young couple walk quick as young
                 lady turns smiles. Skeeter walks sidewalk approaches Gay
                 Nightclub entrance. Skeeter stares hard look to three
                 Drag Queens as he walks by entrance. Drag Queens silent
                 appear somewhat afraid. Skeeter walks some distance from
                 entrance as he hears. Drag Queen 1 whistles sexually.
                 Drag Queen 2 yells feminine loud.

DRAG QUEEN 2
Big Boy!

                 All Drag Queens laugh. Skeeter stops slowly turns faces
                 three Drag Queens. Drag Queens silent afraid stare back.
                 Skeeter gives hard look as he lights a cigarette. Skeeter
                 steps towards Gay Nightclub. Drag Queens giggle stubble
                 against each other as they run hide in Nightclub. Skeeter
                 laughs turns walks away smiles ear to ear.

38 EXT. SIDEWALK DUVAL STREET- NIGHT 38

                 Skeeter walks studies the activities of the street.
                 Nightclubs and shops border the street activities as
                 their lights flash advertising their wares. Music spills
                 into street as “Carny” type door people attempt to draw
                 you in. All within a beautiful organized chaotic sense of
                 “Twilight Zone”. Skeeter stands smiles as a monkey plays
                 cymbals rides a dog along sidewalk. A drunk couple exits
                 a Rickshaw. A young lady wears a bikini roller skates
                 delivers pizza. A young man sells glow rings necklaces at
                 a shop front next to a small mechanical old man bends
                 over blows soap bubbles from butt to sidewalk. Skeeter
                 smiles enters Nightclub 1.

39 EXT. SIDEWALK DUVAL STREET- NIGHT 39

                 Skeeter slightly drunk walks down crowded sidewalk stands
                 observe a man plays a multitude of musical instruments
                 attached as one to his body as he dances. A crowd gathers
                 enjoys entertainment. A young lady wears a cape, top hat
                 and bikini passes a metal bucket. Skeeter and others drop
                 dollars to bucket. Skeeter smiles observes bright red
                 Hawaiian shirt with parrots in storefront. Skeeter enters
                 shop.

40 EXT. SIDEWALK DUVAL STREET- NIGHT 40

Skeeter walks wears bright red shirt. Young Man 1 and
Young Lady 1 (Homeless) approaches Skeeter.

YOUNG MAN 1
Got a cigarette?… Maan.

SKEETER
Yes Sir.

Young Lady 1 smiles to Skeeter as he hands Young Man 1
four cigarettes.

                                         YOUNG MAN 1
                           Any spare change?.. Sir… Help us
                           out.

Skeeter sizes up young couple removes his wallet. Skeeter
hands Young Man 1 five dollars.

YOUNG MAN 1 (CONT’D)
Thank you very much!.. Sir.

Skeeter serious.

SKEETER
Don’t buy drugs.

Young Man 1 looks to Young Lady 1. Both respond.

YOUNG MAN 1 AND YOUNG LADY 1
No sir!

YOUNG MAN 1
Drugs are for losers!

Skeeter smiles hands Young Lady 1 five dollars. Both
smile look to each other.

YOUNG MAN 1 AND YOUNG LADY 1
Pizza!

Both smile runs across street. Young Lady 1 yells.

YOUNG LADY 1
Thanks mister!

Skeeter lights cigarette enters Nightclub 2.

          41     EXT. I-75S TENNESSEE (APPALACHIAN MOUNTAINS) – NIGHT 41
                 Music: Jerry Lee Louis, Great Balls of Fire.
                 Note: All faces unseen in Tractor Trailers (except
                 Passenger Lady 1). Tractor Trailers decked out ornamental
                 with decorative lighting and chrome (All fly American
                 Flag).

Tractor Trailer Sandwich

South Tractor Trailer 1

2 4 6 8

Tractor Trailer 3 Iron Horseman Tractor Trailer 2

1 3 5 7

Tractor Trailer 4

                 Eight loud chopped-out motorcycles (Gang Members) ride in
                 regiment down slow lane south on Interstate 75 at crest
                 of Appalachian Mountains, Tennessee in light fog. Tractor
                 Trailer 1 (Teamster) approaches motorcycles in slow lane
                 lighting “Iron Horseman” jackets with headlights. Tractor
                 Trailer 1 follows close. Iron Horseman 8 flips-off
                 Tractor Trailer 1. Iron Horseman 7 yells to Iron Horseman
                 8.

IRON HORSEMAN 7
Yea!.. Fuck that son of a bitch!

                 Tractor Trailer 1 moves to center lane. Iron Horseman 6
                 yells as Iron Horseman 5 flips cigarette to windshield of
                 Tractor Trailer 1.

IRON HORSEMAN 6
Fuck You!

                 Iron Horseman 1 displays a handgun as Tractor Trailer 1
                 passes and speeds forward. Tractor Trailers (2,3,4)
                 approach side to side from rear. Tractor Trailer 1 slows.
                 Iron Horseman closely follow. Tractor Trailer 2 follows
                 behind motorcycles. Iron horseman 5 yells to Iron
                 Horseman 6,7,8.

IRON HORSEMAN 5
Nother fuck’n asshole!

                 Iron Horseman 5 removes a (Cherry Bomb) firework from his
                 saddle bag. Iron Horseman 5 smiles shows firework to Iron
                 Horseman 8 as he lights firework tosses it to rear
                 between motorcycles. Tractor Trailer 2 approaches travels
                 over firework. Firework explodes under trailer. Iron
                 Horseman 8 raises fist yells.

IRON HORSEMAN 8
Yea!

                 Tractor Trailer 3 speeds by in center lane pulls to front
                 of Tractor Trailer 1. Tractor Trailer 4 in high speed
                 lane pulls parallel to Iron Horseman. Passenger Lady 1
                 wears cat-like sun glasses in Tractor Trailer 4 displays
                 her breast to Iron Horsemen. Iron Horsemen excited yell
                 and interact among themselves.

IRON HORSEMAN 5
Shake em babe!

Iron Horseman 3 reaches motioning feeling her up.

IRON HORSEMAN 4
Show us your ass!.. Bitch!

                 Trailer 1 and 3 slow their speed as Tractor Trailer 2
                 blows horn. Iron Horseman 1 points to center lane motions
                 to Iron Horsemen to change lanes. Eight Iron Horseman in
                 regiment move to center lane to pass between Tractor
                 Trailer 1 and 4. Tractor Trailer 3 then 2 moves to center
                 lane. Iron Horseman now “Boxed-In” look to one another
                 confused. Iron Horseman 1 attempts to escape. Iron
                 Horseman 4 yells to Tractor Trailer 1.

IRON HORSEMAN 4 (CONT’D)
Let us out!.. Cock sucker!

Tractor Trailer 1 squeezes to center lane scares Iron
Horsemen. Iron Horseman 2 yells to Iron Horsemen.

IRON HORSEMAN 2
Shut your fuck’n mouths!

                 Iron Horseman 8 points pistol to windshield of Tractor
                 Trailer 2. Tractor Trailer 2 revs engine eases forward.
                 Iron Horseman 7 scared yells to Iron Horseman 8.

                                         IRON HORSEMAN 7
                           Put it away!… Put it away!..
                           They’ll kill us!

                 Iron Horseman 8 puts pistol into saddle bag. Tractor
                 Trailer 2 eases off. Iron Horsemen fearful as Tractor
                 Trailers (Teamsters) accelerate down hill.
                 Rear door of Tractor Trailer 3 rolls up displaying center
                 Gunman 1 sits mans a machine gun on tripod. Gunman 2 and
                 3 stand holding shotguns. All gunmen wear riot helmets
                 with shields and bullet proof vest. Two loud speakers are
                 mounted to ceiling of trailer. Iron Horsemen appear
                 terrified. A man holds megaphone can be seen to rear of
                 machine gun. Megaphone sounds (God).

                                         MEGAPHONE
                           Hello Boys!.. Little attitude
                           adjustment!… Squeeze them butt
                           cheeks together!.. Grab your
                           balls!.. Your going on Mister
                           Toad’s Wild Ride!.. Enjoy
                           yourselves!.. You all come back
                           now!.. You hear!

Iron Horsemen look to one another in fear.

MEGAPHONE (CONT’D)
Single file now boys!

                 Tractor Trailers 1 and 4 squeeze center lane. Iron
                 Horsemen maneuver to single file as Tractor Trailer 1 and
                 4 squeeze even closer.

                                         MEGAPHONE (CONT’D)
                           Doing just fine!.. Now hold on!..
                           Mister Toad’s Wild Ride has been
                           known to reach speeds of… One
                           hundred miles per hour!.. By
                           Golly!.. Eyes wide open boys!..
                           Here we go!.. Here comes our first
                           bend!.. Right!

Tractor Trailers in formation slowly rounds bend left.

                                         MEGAPHONE (CONT’D)
                           Sorry Boys!.. My right your
                           left!.. For your listening
                           pleasure!.. The Teamsters of
                           America… Dedicate this song to
                                (Loud)
                           Skeeter!

                 Iron Horsemen shocked to realize what their current
                 situation is based on (Skeeter). Theme song of the
                 “Mickey Mouse Club” can be heard over loud speakers.

                                         LOUD SPEAKER
                                (Song)
                           M.I.C….K.E.Y… M.O.U.S.E…
                           Mickey Mouse………………

                 Iron Horsemen look to one another in disbelief. Passenger
                 Lady 1 in Tractor Trailer 4 (wears shirt) dances in seat
                 to music.

MEGAPHONE
Sing along now boys!

Iron Horseman fearful look to one another.

                                         MEGAPHONE (CONT’D)
                                (Loud)
                           You’re not singing!

                 Gunman 2 fires a shotgun blast into air. Some Iron
                 Horsemen begin singing. Others too terrified hold on for
                 dear life.

                                         MEGAPHONE (CONT’D)
                                (Loud)
                           Can’t hear you!

                 Iron Horsemen sing loud as they manage to ride
                 motorcycles in dangerous proximity to one another and
                 Tractor Trailers. All race down mountain. Theme song to
                 Mickey Mouse Club concludes. Tractor Trailers begin
                 slowing.

                                         MEGAPHONE (CONT’D)
                           Why?
                                (Loud)
                           Because we love you!

Iron Horsemen look to one another confused but with a
sense of relief.

                                         MEGAPHONE (CONT’D)
                           Hope you all enjoyed Mister Toad’s
                           Wild Ride!.. Come back!.. See us
                           again!.. At the conclusion of this
                           ride!.. Kindly exit your right…
                           Teamsters of America!.. Thank you.

Tractor trailers slow.

                                         MEGAPHONE (CONT’D)
                           Hear me boys!.. Hear me well!
                                (Loud Angry Slow)
                           Leave… Skeeter… Be!

                 Gunman 2 and 3 aim shotguns to Iron Horsemen. Gunman 2
                 and 3 raise shotguns fire blast to sky. Tractor Trailer 1
                 moves forward along Tractor Trailer 3. Tractor Trailer 2
                 moves behind Tractor Trailer 4. Iron Horsemen exit
                 Interstate to shoulder of road. Tractor Trailers continue
                 down road.
                 Sound of “Mickey Mouse Club” theme song can be heard in
                 distance as Tractor Trailers fade into fog. Moonlight
                 silhouettes Appalachian Mountains above.

Fade to Black

Starve Skeeter to Death! Electronically! Screenplay "Kiss My Ass K.Y." Part 6

skeetron — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 01:37:12 +0000

Kiss My Ass K.Y.

Rated R

Part 6: Scenes 42-52

by Steven Jeffrey Cull

BASED ON A TRUE STORY

by SKEETRON

42 INT. OFFICE (OLD MOB)(GOD) NEW YORK – SUNRISE 42

                 A bright sunrise can be seen across New York skyline
                 through window of high rise office. Steam rises from
                 three coffee cups atop coffee table. Cigar smoke glows in
                 the sunlight. Laughter can be heard from Spike, Vinny,
                 and Al (All unseen).

                                         SPIKE
                                (V.O. Laughing)
                           What the hells a Mister Toads Wild
                           Ride?

All laugh.

                                         VINNY
                                (V.O. Laughing)
                           New to me!.. Never heard of it!..
                           Must be one of those new
                           generation things!

Spike and Vinny laugh. Al interrupts.

                                         AL
                                (V.O.)
                           Cleveland got it done… Always
                           could count on those teamsters.

All silent as a rainbow (God) appears in morning mist.
Spike breaks silence laughs.

                                         SPIKE
                                (V.O.)
                           Mister Toads Wild Ride!

All bust out laughing as a cigar smoke ring glides
through sunlight above coffee table.

43 EXT. I-75N (COVINGTON, KY) DAY 43
Note: Iron Horseman 1 not included.

                 Seven Iron Horseman ride loud chopped-out motorcycles
                 approach a downward bend of Interstate 75 two by two in
                 regiment northbound through Covington Kentucky. Worn out
                 stares can be observed as they pass. Bright Cincinnati
                 skyline can be seen between spans of bridges above Ohio
                 River.

44 INT. CLOTHING OPTIONAL NIGHTCLUB (KEY WEST) – NIGHT 44
Note: Butts and Tits only.

                 Skeeter drunk sits at bar leans shirt-less past-out on
                 bar. Sexy Young Lady 1 sits next to Skeeter. Wears a full
                 length formal dress and Skeeter’s bright red Hawaiian
                 shirt. Unbuttoned. Her breast partially covered. Her hair
                 long and styled. She gentle removes lit cigarette from
                 Skeeter’s hand nudges his shoulder. Bartender 1 smiles to
                 Sexy Young Lady 1 nudges his opposite shoulder. Skeeter
                 drunk slowly raises head smiles ear to ear.

SKEETER
Corona!

Bartender 1 laughs smiles to Sexy Young Lady 1 as he
slides a glass of water towards Skeeter.

BARTENDER 1
Water Skeeter!.. Time to go home!

                 Skeeter drinks water notices he does not have a shirt on.
                 Skeeter looks to Sexy Young Lady 1. Remembers. Smiles ear
                 to ear.

SKEETER
Shirt looks damn good on you girl!

Sexy Young Lady 1 smiles. Skeeter smiles slowly opens her
shirt exposing one breast. She observes smiling.

                                         SKEETER (CONT’D)
                           You are absolutely beautiful…
                           One last glance My Lady.

                 Skeeter attempts to stand. Sexy Young Lady 1 leans to
                 Skeeter her shirt flows open as she kisses Skeeter on
                 cheek. Skeeter returns to sitting.

                                         SEXY YOUNG LADY 1
                           Stay for me!.. Just smile at
                           me!.. Smile… A little longer!

                 Skeeter smiles ear to ear stares to eyes of Sexy Lady 1.
                 She returns friendly stare. Skeeter sips water observes
                 activities of bartenders. Skeeter lights cigarette slowly
                 turns to opposite side observes Older Totally Naked Lady
                 1 on adjacent bar stool. Her legs crossed drinks
                 cocktail. Skeeter stunned. Older Totally Naked Lady 1
                 spins umbrella stir stick in cocktail smiles to Skeeter.
                 Skeeter smiles begins laughing.

OLDER TOTALLY NAKED LADY 1
Hello!.. Young man!

Skeeter overwhelmed confused laughs.

                                         SKEETER
                           Your naked young lady!.. Where the
                           hell am I?

Older Totally Naked Lady 1 excited boast.

                                         OLDER TOTALLY NAKED LADY 1
                           Clothing optional baby! Get naked
                           with me!.. Rub your wienie!

                 Skeeter laughs turns observes nightclub. Men and Ladies.
                 Some clothed. Some topless. Some bottomless. Some nude.
                 Skeeter stares to the backside of a totally nude older
                 lady (Older Country Lady 1) dances wears only high heel
                 and a Fancy Horse Lady Hat. She dances with a drag queen
                 and older country man clogs wears overall and John Deere
                 ball hat. Skeeter overwhelmed laughs. Skeeter questions
                 whether dancer is Older Country Lady 1. Smiles speaks to
                 himself.

SKEETER
Naaa.

Skeeter shakes head in disbelief.

SKEETER (CONT’D)
Can’t Be!

Skeeter laughing turns to questions Sexy Young Lady 1.

SKEETER (CONT’D)
Where am I?

                 Sexy Young Lady 1 is no longer sitting. Skeeter stares
                 upwards to Sexy Young Lady 1. She stands on bar long wild
                 flowing animal-like hair. She smiles wears only
                 unbuttoned bright red Hawaiian shirt. Flesh from head to
                 toe as one hand covers her privates. Her small firm
                 breast summon your every desire. She licks her lips leans
                 to Skeeter blows him a kiss speaks in sexy exotic voice.

SEXY YOUNG LADY 1
Key West!.. Baby!

45 EXT. KEY WEST – SUNRISE 45

                 Skeeter sits on motorcycle (Suzy) observes Mile Marker 1
                 (90 miles to Cuba). Morning sun sparkles upon calm waves
                 of Atlantic in background. Skeeter smiles watches
                 oriental father photograph his children at marker. Older
                 lady 1 approaches smiles to Skeeter.

                                         OLDER LADY 1
                           Sir?.. Would you be so kind?..
                           Take a photograph?.. Me and my
                           husband.

Skeeter smiles.

SKEETER
Yes ma’am.

Skeeter photographs Older Lady 1 and husband hugging at
marker.

                                         SKEETER (CONT’D)
                           Ma’am… Would you photograph
                           me?.. On my motorcycle?

Skeeter sits on motorcycle (Suzy) smiles.

46 EXT. SEVEN MILE BRIDGE (MARATHON, FL) – MORNING 46

                 Skeeter rides motorcycle (Suzy) northbound across Seven
                 Mile Bridge. Skeeter tired hung over smiles climbs slope
                 over Moser Channel. Skeeter observes a Crab Boat as it
                 navigates channel. Atlantic and Gulf sparkle bright blue
                 in the sunlight. Skeeter gives two fingers down wave to a
                 large group of bikers heading south. Pelicans soar skies
                 across bridge. Marathon Key in distance.

47 EXT. WOODEN SPOON RESTAURANT (MARATHON, FL) – MORNING 47

                 Skeeter exits Wooden Spoon Restaurant walks to motorcycle
                 (Suzy). Motorcycle faces restaurant. Older Man 1 exits
                 restaurant inspects motorcycle.

OLDER MAN 1
Like your bike… What kind is it?

Skeeter smiles responds.

SKEETER
Suzuki… Intruder.

Older Man 1 inspects as he walks to rear of motorcycle.

OLDER MAN 1
Where you down from?

Skeeter removes helmet from motorcycle.

SKEETER
Kentucky.

Older Man 1 impressed.

OLDER MAN 1
Long haul… Head’n home?

Skeeter mounts motorcycle.

                                         SKEETER
                           Kentucky ain’t home no more…
                           Ain’t got a home.

                 Skeeter starts motorcycle places helmet to head. Older
                 Man 1 hears loud motorcycle approaches from north on
                 road. He observes as Iron Horseman 1 travels south on
                 Route 1 passes restaurant.

OLDER MAN 1
Where you head’n then?

Skeeter smiles “Wild eyed”.

SKEETER
Wherever the wind blows!

Skeeter points behind motorcycle to dark storm cloud
(Northbound; God).

SKEETER (CONT’D)
Think’n about Naples.

Older Man 1 observes distant storm clouds.

                                         OLDER MAN 1
                           Doesn’t look good… Might get
                           wet.

Skeeter confident smiles to Older Man 1.

SKEETER
God will show me the way!

Older Man 1 startled surprised by remark reassures.

MIDDLE AGE MAN 1
Yes he will!.. God Bless!

                 Skeeter lights cigarette. Smoke fills interior of face
                 shield. Backs motorcycle give thumbs up to Middle Age Man
                 1 rides to Route 1 looks both ways. Skeeter slowly enter
                 Route 1 accelerates.

48 INT. SCHOOL BUS (SCHOOL PARKING LOT) -DAY 48

                 Robby and Joanie sit in idling school bus in parking lot
                 of school. Robby texts on cellphone. Joanie observes
                 funeral Hurst enter parking lot followed by flow of
                 vehicles. Pedestrians exit vehicles walk towards Hurst
                 parked next to football stadium.

Bus radio can be heard at front of bus.

BUS RADIO
Bus 31… Bus 31… Over.

Joanie questions Robby.

JOANIE
What’s goin on Rob?.. Look!

Bus driver 1 answers radio.

BUS DRIVER 1
Bus 31… Over.

Robby observes funeral. Robby calm explains situation to
Joanie.

                                         ROBBY
                           Couple High School kids died!..
                           Heroin!.. Last weekend!.. One was
                           a football player.

Joanie observes funeral. Robby texts on cellphone. Bus
radio can be heard at front of bus.

                                         BUS RADIO
                           Hold on Bus 31… Need to
                           verify… Check computer.

Joanie saddened questions Robby.

JOANIE
How many died this month?

Robby (numb to overdosed children) texts on cellphone.

                                         ROBBY
                           Not sure… Ain’t been in school
                           much… First ones I’ve heard
                           of… This month.

Robby serious looks to Joanie. Warns her.

ROBBY (CONT’D)
Kill us all!.. Before it’s over!

Robby texts on cellphone as Joanie observes funeral.
Excited Student 1 overwhelmed by grief stands proclaims.

EXCITED STUDENT 1
Who’s next!.. Knew that Kid!

Excited Student 1 overwhelmed with grief proclaims.

                                         EXCITED STUDENT 1 (CONT’D)
                           Which one of you?.. Are next?..
                           Which one?.. Who?

Robby and Joanie stare concerned to Excited Student 1.
Bus radio can be heard at front of bus.

                                         BUS RADIO
                           One package drop today… Post
                           Master One.

                 Joanie saddened turns stares through bus window. Robby
                 returns to text on cellphone. Voice of Bus Driver 1 can
                 be heard.

                                         BUS DRIVER 1
                                (V.O.)
                           Affirmative… Post Master One…
                           Out.

Bus moves forward to exit parking lot. Upon each child’s
face a sad hopeless stare at each window.

49 EXT. FLORIDA KEYS (BRIDGE) – NOON 49

                 Skeeter smiles as he cruises bridge above bright blue
                 ocean. He observes as sea gulls follow right along bridge
                 in bright sunshine. Left dark clouds as he approaches a
                 road sign “Miami 58 miles”.

50 EXT. CAMPBELL COUNTY COURTHOUSE – AFTERNOON 50

                 A dog barks repetitiously. A minister runs a homeless man
                 from steps of nearby historic church. Mature Oak trees
                 shade stone base memorial of flag-less flagpole. Pigeons
                 roost upon entry of historic brick courthouse. Litter
                 blows upon lush green lawn. A middle aged women drags a
                 screaming child along walk. Sound of traffic muffles the
                 sound of a couple’s argument.

51 INT. JUDGES CHAMBERS (C.C. COURTHOUSE) – AFTERNOON 51

                 Sound of child screams and dog barks fades as Folgers,
                 Wehr, Jennings, Walsh, and Good Judge 1 sit at large wood
                 conference table in discussion. Walsh explains.

                                         WALSH
                           Bank’s sending three or four
                           associates to discuss
                           strategies… Apparently Skeeter
                           disappeared… Bank wants him
                           eliminated.

                 Good Judge 1 concerned looks to Jennings then Wehr. Wehr
                 shakes head “yes”. Mann, Deering, Morgan and Franzen
                 enter Judges Chambers as Walsh completes explanation.

                                         WALSH (CONT’D)
                           They think he might screw up their
                           airport deal.

                 Mann, Deering, Morgan and Franzen approach conference
                 table. Franzen sits at conference table. Mann paces
                 nervous explains situation to Wehr and Folgers.

                                         MANN
                           Skeeter!.. Disappeared!.. Again!..
                           Said he was going to Key West…
                           Bullshit!

Deering fearful leans to conference table interrupts.

                                         DEERING
                           We believe he went to the Feds!..
                           Most likely FBI!.. Skeeter’s been
                           working with the Federal DEA!..
                           Couple years.

Folgers looks to Wehr for verification. Wehr shakes head
“yes”. Deering stands confident boast.

                                         DEERING (CONT’D)
                           Skeeter showed me his
                           connection… In Federal DEA!..
                           Skeeter went straight to the top.

Deering sarcastic warns.

DEERING (CONT’D)
Gary!.. Our old High School buddy!

Wehr calm comments.

WEHR
Good man.

Deering stunned as to Wehr’s remark. Franzen confident
interrupts explains to Wehr and Folgers.

                                         FRANZEN
                           DEA… FBI… They all work
                           together.

Folgers looks to Wehr. Wehr agrees. Franzen confident
explains conspiracy.

                                         FRANZEN (CONT’D)
                           The general consensus is…
                           Immediate action… Do not!..
                           Want!.. FBI!.. Investigating
                           Skeeter’s allegations.

Deering loud fearful interrupts.

                                         DEERING
                           Need to discredit Skeeter…
                           Prevent his communication with
                           Federal agencies… Need Skeeter
                           classified… Public enemy!..
                           Number one!

Deering pleas to Wehr.

                                         DEERING (CONT’D)
                           Need you Judges… To make it
                           happen.

Deering and Morgan sit at conference table. Mann nervous
paces then sits. Morgan confident disagrees.

MORGAN
I do not agree.

Morgan confident addresses Judges.

                                         MORGAN (CONT’D)
                           Whole situation… Blown out of
                           proportion!.. My opinion.

Deering surprised as to Morgan’s comment. Morgan insults
loud.

                                         MORGAN (CONT’D)
                           Fuck’n FBI… DEA… They’re
                           idiots!.. Never believe Skeeter!..
                           Not in a million years.

Wehr calm intercedes.

WEHR
DEA does!

Good Judge 1 concerned by Wehr’s comment. Morgan upset
responds offensively.

                                         MORGAN
                           Even if they did!.. They can’t
                           prove a damn thing!.. What?..
                           Think the State of Kentucky?..
                           Goin sell us out?.. Hang their own
                           fuck’n asses?.. No way!

Folgers concerned speaks to Deering and Morgan for
reassurance.

                                         FOLGERS
                           Damn airport!.. Better be worth
                           all the trouble… Becoming one
                           hell of a nightmare!

Wehr agrees questions Deering.

                                         WEHR
                           What makes you think Skeeter went
                           to the FBI?

Deering explains.

                                         DEERING
                           No one can find the slippery
                           bastard… Disappeared!.. On that
                           motorcycle… Said he was going to
                           Key West!.. Probably parked it in
                           a garage somewhere.

Mann explains Banks position.

                                         MANN
                           Bank is not sure what he’s up
                           to!.. They had the Parole office
                           attempt to find him… Not a
                           trace!.. Someone is covering his
                           ass!

Mann nervous explains action taken.

                                         MANN (CONT’D)
                           Bank had me send a Hit Squad!..
                           Find him!.. Dispose of Skeeter!..
                           Iron Horsemen!

Deering tense motions to Mann to continue.

DEERING
Tell em!

Mann fearful explains results.

                                         MANN
                           Day later they returned!.. Told us
                           to fuck off!.. Won’t tell us a
                           damn thing!.. Except… Skeeter’s
                           not their problem!.. Sounds to me
                           like Feds… Bank agrees!

Good Judge 1 upset looks to Wehr. Wehr calm comments.

                                         WEHR
                           Maybe he did just that… Took a
                           motorcycle ride.

                 Good Judge 1 angry stands walks towards door. All observe
                 question actions of Good Judge 1. Jennings concerned
                 questions.

JENNINGS
Where are you going?

Good Judge 1 returns to desk scolds all.

                                         GOOD JUDGE 1
                           Thought we were building our
                           community an airport… Never
                           thought we were stealing a man’s
                           farm… Now murder?..
                           Corruption?.. Conspiracy?

Good Judge 1 shakes head in shame. Speaks overwhelmed.

                                         GOOD JUDGE 1 (CONT’D)
                           Now we have Federal Agencies
                           involved!

Good Judge 1 angry confronts Folgers then Morgan.

                                         GOOD JUDGE 1 (CONT’D)
                           Fuck!.. Every last one of you!..
                           Do not ever!.. Any of You!..
                           Discuss these matters with me
                           again!.. I’m out!.. I will no
                           longer participate in your
                           criminal activities!

Good Judge 1 angry walks towards door. Turns points to
all shouts.

GOOD JUDGE 1 (CONT’D)
You people are fuck’n dangerous!

Good Judge 1 exits room slams door. Folgers speaks in
jest to Walsh.

FOLGERS
Our split just increased.

Wehr calm explains belittles Folgers.

                                         WEHR
                           I’d walk with him… Wasn’t in so
                           damn far.

Wehr questions Deering, Morgan, Franzen, and Mann.

                                         WEHR (CONT’D)
                           What does the bank want from the
                           Judges?

Deering gives Morgan lead. Morgan confident explains.

                                         MORGAN
                           Very simply put… We want the
                           justice system to classify Skeeter
                           as a suspected drug dealer…
                           Smuggler… Associate Skeeter with
                           bank fraud and embezzlement.

Deering anxious intercedes.

                                         DEERING
                           Classify Skeeter.. A suspected
                           terrorist!.. Based upon his
                           allegations against Law
                           Enforcement… The Justice
                           system… And Legislators!

Franzen reinforces strategy.

                                         FRANZEN
                           Have the State of Kentucky
                           validate these claims!

Folgers smiles an evil smile. Excited confirms
conspiracy.

                                         FOLGERS
                           State will surely back this
                           idea!.. Sounds good!.. What else?

Deering devious continues.

                                         DEERING
                           Classify Skeeter a dangerous
                           psychotic terrorist!..
                           Remember!.. His Family had Skeeter
                           locked in behavior center.

Wehr interrupts.

WEHR
One greedy fuck’n family!..

Deering boast.

                                         DEERING
                           I handled it!.. Hospital will
                           verify this claim… They want
                           Skeeter dead!.. Much as the bank!

Wehr concerned questions risk.

                                         WEHR
                           Sure we’re not just digging a
                           deeper hole?.. Federal agents?..
                           The ones I know… Are damn sharp!

Folgers cocky intercedes. Folgers responds in jest to
Deering and Franzen.

FOLGERS
Ones I know are idiots!

Deering, Franzen, and Morgan laugh. Deering serious
states requirements.

                                         DEERING
                           For our strategy to work…
                           Someone needs to log Skeeter’s
                           classifications… Permanently!..
                           Into the Federal Criminal
                           Database.

Franzen requests further requirements of Folgers.

                                         FRANZEN
                           Need an outsider… Someone no one
                           will suspect.

Folgers boast.

                                         FOLGERS
                           Easy!.. We’ll get our U.S.
                           Senator… Consider it done!

Morgan smiles evil smile summarizes.

                                         MORGAN
                           Skeeter will be classified a
                           Criminal Terrorist!… Till the
                           day he dies!.. No credit!.. No
                           employment!.. Not even a secure
                           bank account!.. We will starve him
                           to death!.. Electronically!

Wehr warns of potential ramifications.

                                         WEHR
                           Federal conspiracy is a very
                           serious crime… FBI!.. Figures it
                           out… Governors… Senators… We
                           all go down!

Franzen confident nullifies Wehr’s concerns.

                                         DEERING
                           If!… FBI discovers our
                           conspiracy… And… If!.. The FBI
                           can prove conspiracy!.. No action
                           will be taken… Do you honestly
                           believe the FBI will arrest their
                           superiors?… United State
                           Senators and Congressmen?.. Not
                           Me!.. Too many high ranking
                           government officials are
                           involved… We’re sheltered!..
                           Protected!

Wehr reminisces.

                                         WEHR
                           Hope your correct… Getting ready
                           to retire… Been proud of my
                           career.

Wehr shakes head in shame.

WEHR (CONT’D)
Till now!

Morgan rude interrupts Wehr. Morgan arrogate boast to
Folgers.

                                         MORGAN
                           Irony of this scheme is… Feds
                           will consider Skeeter a
                           terrorist… They will either
                           shone him… Or document his
                           claims as acts of terrorism…
                           Proving… Backing… Our
                           position… Protecting us!

Folgers pleased smiles evil smile. Church Bell rings
(God). Deering arrogate continues.

                                         DEERING
                           Unknowingly… Feds will help us
                           destroy Skeeter… Conceal the
                           truth!.. Forever!.. Skeeter will
                           just fade into the abyss.

Church Bell rings to fade out.

52 EXT. CAMPBELL COUNTY COURTHOUSE – AFTERNOON 52

                 Church Bell rings once as a happy child plays with a dog
                 on lawn of courthouse. Good Judge 1 sits at Flagpole
                 Memorial smiles observes play. Dirty Cop 1 walks towards
                 courthouse yell angry to child.

DIRTY COP 1
Off the grass kid!.. Now!

Fade to Black.

Lana Spank! Signor Skeetron Happy? Screenplay "Kiss My Ass K.Y." Part 7

skeetron — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 01:04:14 +0000

Kiss My Ass K.Y.

Rated R

Part 7: Scenes 53-63

by: Steven Jeffrey Cull

BASED ON A TRUE STORY

by SKEETRON

53 EXT. FLORIDA TURNPIKE N. (TOWARDS MIAMI) – AFTERNOON 53

                 Skeeter rides motorcycle (Suzy) as a dark storm clouds
                 approaches from left. Lightning flashes as heavy rain
                 sweeps to Everglades. Tractor Trailer toots horn friendly
                 passes Skeeter. Skeeter smiles observes clear skies and
                 bright sunshine right as he approaches Highway sign
                 “Miami” arrow points right.

54 EXT. CAUSEWAY (GOV. CUT) TO SOUTH BEACH MIAMI - SUNSET54
Music: Creedence Clearwater Revival; Up Around The Bend

                 Skeeter smiles as he peaks Causeway bridge. Black storm
                 clouds churn in background. Skeeter observes colorful
                 sparkle of high rise buildings of South Beach Miami in
                 horizon. Cruise ships navigates channel of Government
                 Cut. Bright blue waters surround’s island of Al Cabone”s
                 residence. Yachts pass as they navigate Upper Biscayne
                 Bay. A Flock of old gray pelicans (God) lead Skeeter from
                 darkness of storm.

55 EXT. SOUTH BEACH (ART DECO DISTRICT) – NIGHT 55

                 Skeeter wears bright blue Hawaiian shirt walks crowded
                 sidewalk as he politely maneuvers through activities of
                 sidewalk dining. Sound of silverware rings as formally
                 dressed men sample wine to the on look of beautiful sexy
                 ladies. Patrons converse in a mixture of Spanish and
                 English. Restaurant nightclubs one to the next. Cuban
                 Latino music flows together then apart as Skeeter admires
                 the bright colors and shapes of local Architecture.
                 Skeeter smiles as he passes beautiful ladies whom return
                 smiles. Skeeter rounds corner enters busy Cuban Diner. He
                 sits at bar. Only Gringo as all conversations in Spanish.
                 A beautiful Young Cuban Lady Waitress 1 approaches
                 Skeeter. She questions Skeeter in Spanish. Skeeter smiles
                 point to his chest boast.

                                         SKEETER
                           Signor Skeetron… The
                           magnificent!.. King of jungle!

Young Cuban Lady Waitress 1 laughs shakes head “yes”.

YOUNG CUBAN LADY WAITRESS 1
See!

                 Young Cuban Lady Waitress 1 speaks Spanish yells laughing
                 across Dining to second waitress. Patrons overhear as
                 they stare to Skeeter. Young Cuban Lady Waitress 1 points
                 to Skeeter yells laughing.

                                         YOUNG CUBAN LADY WAITRESS 1
                                         (CONT’D)
                           Signor Monkey!

All laugh. Skeeter laughs. Smiles ear to ear.

56 EXT. COLLINS AVE. N.(SOUTH BEACH TO SUNNYISLES) – MORNING56

                 Skeeter passes old Art Deco style motel. Bright sign
                 “Ocean Psalm” catches Skeeter’s eye. Crisp new High-rise
                 condos glow in sunlight as Skeeter waits at Red light.
                 Three young Spanish ladies in skimpy bikinis cross
                 dancing diagonally through intersection. Traffic light
                 displays green. Immediately multiple cars blow horns.
                 Skeeter makes U-turn admires beauty and playfulness of
                 ladies. Skeeter enters parking area of Ocean Psalm motel.
                 Skeeter observes sign “No Nude Sun Bathing At Pool”.

57 EXT. CLOTHING OPTIONAL BEACH (SUNNYISLES) – DAY 57

                 Skeeter smokes cigarette walks beach barefoot wears long
                 blue jeans carries shirt on his shoulder. Skeeter
                 overwhelmed as he enters clothing optional beach. New
                 experience. Skeeter attempts to hide his naive country
                 ignorance although his mouth remains open in awe. He
                 exchanges smiles as he passes a topless lady wears a
                 scarf-like cover about her waist. Skeeter stares forward
                 as he passes three nude men sitting beneath a thatch roof
                 structure. Group of couples totally nude play volley
                 ball. Skeeter approaches three older ladies dressed in
                 tourist clothing. Two older ladies giggle as they pose
                 with nudes. One older lady laughs snaps photographs.
                 Skeeter scans crowded clothing optional beach area
                 bordered by fence. Skeeter stares at the backside of a
                 totally nude older lady (Older Country Lady 1) strolls
                 beach wears only a Fancy Horse Lady Hat. Skeeter smiles
                 questions his observation. He shakes head in disbelief.

SKEETER
Naaa.

                 Skeeter observes beyond clothing optional fence life
                 guard sheds stand surrounded by a vacant beach. Skeeter
                 passes a mobile food stand. Large sign atop advertises
                 sole item in large red letters “Hot Dogs”.

58 INT. GARY’S OFFICE (DEA CINCINNATI) – DAY 58

Gary sits at desk converses with Maverick.

                                         GARY
                           Arkansas DEA believes a shipment
                           of heroin… Out of Mexico… Is
                           heading this way.

William (FBI) enters room stands listens.

                                         GARY (CONT’D)
                           They lost the trail… Somewhere
                           in… Around Paducah… Arkansas
                           believes the shipment… Is
                           heading up the Ohio River… By
                           boat.

Maverick enthusiastic.

                                         MAVERICK
                           Damn!.. Sure would like to make
                           that bust!.. Get it all!.. Stop it
                           cold!

Gary looks to William(FBI). Gary explains to Maverick

                                         GARY
                           Never stop it… Not in my
                           lifetime… Society has to change!

William(FBI) nodes in agreement. Gary instructs Maverick

                                         GARY (CONT’D)
                           Notify our local undercover…
                           Have our people keep a close eye
                           on the Licking River drop site.

Maverick understands agrees.

MAVERICK
Yes sir.

Maverick exits office. William(FBI) approaches Gary.

WILLIAM (FBI)
How can we help you Gary?

Gary smiles.

GARY
Skeeter again!

William smiles verifies knowledge of situation.

                                         WILLIAM
                           Heard he was stirring up the
                           Hillbillies… Again!.. Boy sure
                           knows how to get em talking…
                           We’ve been listening.

Gary pleased. Gary explains request.

                                         GARY
                           Skeeter screwed up… Down in
                           Miami… Used a credit card… One
                           time… At a Marriot… We believe
                           the Hillbillies are tracking
                           him… We were hoping FBI might
                           erase Skeeter’s movements…
                           Electronically… What do you
                           think?.. Possible?

William confirms.

                                         WILLIAM
                           Consider it done!.. Hell… We
                           wish we could clone the crazy
                           bastard… Wherever he goes…
                           Shit flies… We just catch it…
                           Analyze it!.. One day… This will
                           be bigger than…
                                (Pause)
                           Any crime!.. Conspiracy!.. Ever
                           seen!

Gary smiles ear to ear.

59 EXT. ALTERNATIVE SCHOOL (COLD SPRINGS, KY) – DAY 59

                 An Alexandria police cruiser idles along side of school
                 near entrance. Above cruiser a sign “Campbell County
                 Alternative Program” is mounted to building next to a
                 “DARE” program banister. Police Chief 1 converses on
                 cellphone.

                                         POLICE CHIEF 1
                           Whacked out bitch!.. Threatening
                           all of us!

Ex-Wife and Mann exit school approach cruiser.

                                         POLICE CHIEF 1 (CONT’D)
                           Here she comes… Listen in…
                           Make sure you record this!

Ex-Wife enters cruiser sits in passenger seat. Mann
greets Police Chief 1 through open passenger door.

MANN
How you doing Chief!..

Police Chief 1 motions “Uncertain”.

POLICE CHIEF 1
How’s the Bank’s Parole Office?

Mann answers in jest.

                                         MANN
                           We violate em all!.. Now that we
                           have a Drive through!

Both laugh.

                                         MANN (CONT’D)
                           Triples our take!.. Keep em
                           coming!

Police Chief 1 smiles. Mann serious informs Police Chief
1.

MANN (CONT’D)
Briefed her!.. Your turn!

Mann speaks in jest as he shut passenger door.

MANN (CONT’D)
Good luck!

Mann overhears Ex-Wife threaten loud angry nasty as he
exits.

                                         EX-WIFE
                                (V.O.)
                           How’d you lose him!.. Where the
                           fuck is he!.. You better find
                           him!.. Or else!..

Ex-Wife loud angry nasty threatens Police Chief 1.

                                         EX-WIFE (CONT’D)
                           I’m serious!.. I’ll go to the
                           newspaper!.. I swear!

Police Chief 1 stern subdues Ex-Wife’s anger.

                                         POLICE CHIEF 1
                           Hold on!.. Your not going to… Or
                           talking to… Anybody!.. Not after
                           everything we’ve done for you!..
                           Calm down!

Police Chief 1 angry loud confronts Ex-Wife.

POLICE CHIEF 1 (CONT’D)
Or get the fuck out!

Police Chief 1 informs Ex-Wife.

POLICE CHIEF 1 (CONT’D)
Skeeter’s in Miami!.. South Beach!

Ex-Wife angry nasty demands.

                                         EX-WIFE
                           Need him dead!.. Attorneys…
                           Judges… Bank… They all say!..
                           I only get his inheritance… If
                           he dies!.. Before our divorce…
                           They all want him dead!.. His
                           family!.. Not just me!.. Just kill
                           the bastard!

Police Chief 1 frustrated interrupts.

                                         POLICE CHIEF 1
                           Not that easy!.. Murder is a
                           crime!.. You know!

Ex-Wife boasts.

                                         EX-WIFE
                           Not in Kentucky!.. Whole state
                           wants him dead!.. Much as me!..
                           Ask em?

                 A Campbell County police cruiser pulls along side. Dirty
                 Cop 2 rolls down window as so does Police Chief 1. Dirty
                 Cop 2 boast.

                                         DIRTY COP 2
                           New shipment!.. On its way up the
                           Ohio… Coming in tonight!

                 Police Chief 1 nods in approval. Ex-Wife makes vulgar
                 sexual mouth gesture to Dirty Cop 2. Dirty Cop 2 smiles.
                 Police Chief 1 looks to Ex-Wife. Then Dirty Cop 2. Police
                 Chief 1 confirms transfer of drugs.

                                         POLICE CHIEF 1
                           I’ll let my brother know… He’s
                           been waiting… Wilder drop?

Dirty Cop 2 corrects.

                                         DIRTY COP 2
                           No!.. Not this time.. Drop is
                           under the bridge… Pond Creek
                           Bridge… Bout midnight.

Police Chief 1 questions.

POLICE CHIEF 1
Why Pond Creek?

Dirty Cop 2 warns explains.

                                         DIRTY COP 2
                           Feds are onto it!.. Our local
                           DEA… In Task Force!.. Informed
                           us!

Police Chief 1 confirms.

                                         POLICE CHIEF 1
                           Understood!.. Pond Creek!.. I’ll
                           let em know!

Police Chief 1 instructs.

                                         POLICE CHIEF 1 (CONT’D)
                           Have a decoy boat… Couple… No
                           three… Fishing boats… At
                           Wilder drop… Around ten
                           eleven… Got it?

DIRTY COP 2
Yes sir.

Dirty Cop 2 begins to close window. Police Chief 1 yells.

                                         POLICE CHIEF 1
                           Make sure we have cover patrol…
                           In around Pond Creek!.. About
                           eleven!.. Till one!

Dirty Cop 2 nods “Yes”. Drives away. Police Chief 1
lights cigarette turns to Ex-Wife. He informs her.

                                         POLICE CHIEF 1 (CONT’D)
                           Skeeter brought in the Feds…
                           Don’t you think they’ll look into
                           things?.. If he dies!

Ex-Wife angry nasty explains.

                                         EX-WIFE
                           That’s your problem!.. You all got
                           rich!.. Last five years… Me
                           financing your family’s drug
                           purchases… With Skeeter’s money!

Police Chief 1 angry interrupts scolds Ex-Wife.

                                         POLICE CHIEF 1
                           You got yours!.. You got plenty!..
                           Cocaine!.. An expensive habit!..
                           Specially when you’re supporting
                           the habits… All your whore
                           friends!

Ex-Wife angry nasty threatens Police Chief 1.

                                         EX-WIFE
                           Don’t you threaten me!.. I’ll go
                           to Sixty Minutes!… Forty eight
                           Hours!.. Howard Aims!.. I swear!..
                           I’ll tell everybody!..
                           Everything!.. Try me!.. Tell the
                           FBI!.. You’ll see!

Police Chief 1 angry loud threatens Ex-Wife.

                                         POLICE CHIEF 1
                           Shut the fuck up!.. Bitch!.. You
                           need to get out of my cruiser…
                           Keep your fuck’n mouth shut!..

Ex-Wife gives angry nasty stare.

                                         POLICE CHIEF 1 (CONT’D)
                                (V.O.)
                           When you calm down… We’ll talk.
                                (V.O. Loud, Angry)
                           Get the fuck out!

                 Rain drips (Tears) from signs “Campbell County
                 Alternative Program” and “DARE” program banister. “DARE”
                 program banister flaps to be heard with a gust of wind.

60 EXT. BEACH (WATER’S EDGE) – NIGHT 60

                 Skeeter sits at water’s edge smokes cigarette stares to
                 calm moonlit Atlantic Ocean. Chair has settled to side
                 from wave erosion of support. Moonlit lovers stroll the
                 beach. Beat of Spanish music radiates from beach Tiki Bar
                 at adjacent Hotel. Skeeter stands. Strength of mighty
                 Atlantic reinforces his resolve.

61 INT. DOLLHOUSE (STRIPPER NIGHTCLUB) – NIGHT 61

                 Skeeter drunk orders a corona from a young lady bartender
                 dressed in revealing black leather. Bartender works quick
                 erratic as though on cocaine. Skeeter observes erotic
                 stripper (Ghia) dances runway wears high heels and a
                 smile only as she leaps to pole. She slowly descends
                 inverted to floor. Begins snaking her small slender tan
                 body down runway towards Skeeter. Ghia slides forward
                 face first to floor between spectators. Disappears.
                 Skeeter rotates on bar stool grabs Corona spins back to
                 full view Ghia stands totally naked covers her privates
                 wears heels. Skeeter overwhelmed excited stares at Ghia
                 from head to toe.

SKEETER
Nice shoes!

Ghia laughs.

GHIA
You like my dance?.. My show?

Skeeter compliments Ghia.

                                         SKEETER
                           Great show!.. Absolutely fabulous
                           Ghia!

                 Ghia smiles ear to ear. Ghia exits to dress herself.
                 Ghia, Lana, and Nena group together discuss in Spanish
                 (Inaudible). All giggle. Skeeter drinks shot. He drinks
                 Corona. Ghia, Lana, and Nena giggle as they approach
                 Skeeter. Lana grabs Skeeter’s arm motions him to follow.

GHIA
Skeetron!.. Emeago!.. Come!

Ghia also grabs Skeeter’s arm motions him to follow.
Skeeter smiles ear to ear as he follows.

62 INT. DOLLHOUSE (BACK CORNER) – NIGHT. 62

                 Skeeter lay chest down atop table. His feet to floor as
                 Lana and Nena hold Skeeter’s arms across table. Ghia
                 stands at rear of Skeeter. All strippers laugh and giggle
                 as Ghia drops Skeeter’s blue jeans to floor. Ghia laughs
                 as she spanks Skeeter’s bare bottom with her hand.
                 Skeeter drunk smiles ear to ear. Skeeter laughs.
                 Nightclub activities continue unaffected. Ghia laughs
                 leans over Skeeter questions.

                                         GHIA
                           Skeetron happy!.. Skeetron happy
                           now!

Skeeter laughs responds.

SKEETER
Skeetron happy!

Ghia spanks louder. Skeeter laughs looks to Lana. Lana
laughs responds to Ghia.

LANA
See!.. Happy!.. See!..

Lana releases Skeeter’s arm.

LANA (CONT’D)
Lana!.. Spank!

                 Lana runs to rear of Skeeter switches places with Ghia.
                 Skeeter and Ghia exchange smiles as the sound of Lana’s
                 spanking echoes in jest.

63 INT. DOLLHOUSE (STRIPPER NIGHTCLUB) – NIGHT 63

                 Skeeter sits at bar stool surrounded by Ghia, Lana, and
                 Nena. All laugh and giggle. Lana kisses white napkin
                 leaving a gift of her lips in lipstick. She presents
                 napkin to Skeeter.

LANA
Emego!.. Skeetron!

Skeeter excepts gift responds.

                                         SKEETER
                           See!.. Emego!.. See!.. Love
                           Signorinas!

                 Ghia smiles drags a Nightclub photographer to take a
                 group photograph. Skeeter hugs Lana and Nena. Ghia stands
                 to front of Skeeter. Flash of photograph accents their
                 fondness for one another. Skeeter smiles ear to ear
                 proclaims.

SKEETER (CONT’D)
Spank’n Dot Com!

All laugh.

Fade to black.

P.I. My Ass! Hitman! Fixer! Mechanic! Screenplay "Kiss My Ass K.Y." Part 8

skeetron — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 23:50:09 +0000

Kiss My Ass K.Y.

Rated R

Part 8: Scenes 64-68

by: Steven Jeffrey Cull

BASED ON A TRUE STORY

by SKEETRON

64 INT. JUDGES CHAMBERS (C.C. COURTHOUSE) – MORNING 64

                 Sheriff 1 carries documents enters Judges Chambers.
                 Folgers sits in recliner reads. Folgers observes Sheriff
                 1 approach from side. Sheriff 1 stands explains to
                 Folgers.

                                         SHERIFF 1
                           Judge… Have wire tap
                           documents… Morgan and Deering
                           prepared em… For the bank…
                           Need your signature.

Folgers swings recliner towards Sheriff 1. Sheriff 1
stands stern professional. Folgers smiles questions.

FOLGERS
Who’d the bank decide on?

Sheriff 1 serious explains bank’s decision.

                                         SHERIFF 1
                           Skeeter’s children… Robby and
                           Joanie… Bank owns their phone
                           accounts… They still wants
                           official documentation…
                           Skeeter’s buddies… Mac and
                           Kenny… Need them too!

Folgers questions Sheriff 1.

FOLGERS
What about Joyce?

Sheriff 1 nervous lightly shakes documents explains.

                                         SHERIFF 1
                           Her lines were tapped… You
                           authorized that… Bout six months
                           ago… Judge… We have
                           recordings… You talking with
                           her… Didn’t know you used to
                           date?

Sheriff 1 presents documents to Folgers. Folgers looks to
documents as he justifies.

                                         FOLGERS
                           Yes… Dated her… Long time
                           ago… Out of High School… She’s
                           dating Skeeter now… About a
                           year… I’ve been calling her
                           lately…
                           Attempting to extract information
                           bout what Skeeter knows… Don’t
                           know… She’s protecting Skeeter.

Sheriff 1 smiles nods in agreement.

                                         SHERIFF 1
                           We agree!.. She’s also in
                           communication with some guy named
                           Maverick… Through Skeeter.. We
                           can’t track him!.. Not sure who he
                           is… Our dealers did manage to
                           hook her son on heroin though!

                 Folgers nods in agreement. Sheriff 1 lays documents to
                 table in front of Folgers. Folgers glances at documents
                 begins signing. Sheriff 1 explains addition document.

                                         SHERIFF 1 (CONT’D)
                           Bank also.. Had us prepare
                           documents authorizing anyone…
                           Mainly cops… To enter Skeeter’s
                           children’s residence… At any
                           time… For any reason…
                           Basically to bully and extort
                           information from them.

Folgers signs last documents. Sound of Church Bell
ringing (God) can be heard in background.

                                         FOLGERS
                           Sounds good!.. Whatever it
                           takes!.. Here you go.

                 Folgers smiles an evil smile hands documents to Sheriff
                 1. Sheriff 1 nods head in approval walks away. Folgers
                 serious loud proclaims.

                                         FOLGERS (CONT’D)
                           Make em count!.. Need to hang
                           Skeeter!.. Before he hangs us!

Church Bell rings to fade out.

65 INT. VANHORN’S OFFICE (BANK) -DAY 65

Vanhorn sits behind desk across from Ex-Wife. Vanhorn
stern explains Bank’s position to Ex-Wife.

                                         VANHORN
                           Bank can no longer fund your life
                           style…
                           You’ve gone through four hundred
                           thousand dollars thus far!.. Bank
                           has nothing to show for it.

Ex-Wife nasty pleas to Vanhorn.

                                         EX-WIFE
                           I need money!.. Ten thousand…
                           Till he dies.

Vanhorn stern explains situation.

                                         VANHORN
                           Bank still waiting for you to
                           deliver the deed… Skeeter’s
                           farm… Till then!.. You’re cut
                           off!

Ex-Wife desperate makes suggestion.

                                         EX-WIFE
                           I have three life insurance
                           policies!.. On Skeeter… Worth
                           over one million!

Ex-Wife smiles leans to desk pleas to Vanhorn.

                                         EX-WIFE (CONT’D)
                           Just ten thousand more… Farm’s
                           worth two million!

Vanhorn leans back in chair laughs explains situation.

                                         VANHORN
                           Would have been worth two
                           million!.. Subtract your years of
                           embezzlement… Fraud… Subtract
                           Bank’s associated criminal
                           liabilities… And risk!… Your
                           liquidation ratio is now zero!..
                           Besides… Directors say no!

Vanhorn leans to desk taps pen to paper gives option to
Ex-Wife.

                                         VANHORN (CONT’D)
                           I’m not sure whether directors
                           will approve this or not… But if
                           you’re willing to sign over one
                           insurance policy… One hundred
                           percent!.. Bank may be willing to
                           forward you fifty percent.

Vanhorn cocky boast.

VANHORN (CONT’D)
Skeeter won’t last forever!

Ex-Wife greedy explains.

                                         EX-WIFE
                           Not sure I want to do that.. Been
                           paying on these policies for ten
                           years.

Vanhorn laughs speaks loudly in jest.

                                         VANHORN
                           With Skeeter’s money!.. He don’t
                           even know they exist!

Ex-Wife lowers head. She raises head smiles phony smile.
Vanhorn instructs.

VANHORN (CONT’D)
Think about it.

Door opens. Noran and Macke enter room. Mann stands in
doorway. Ex-Wife nervous stands.

EX-WIFE
I’ll do it!.. Get money tomorrow?

Vanhorn shakes head in disbelief.

VANHORN
I’ll call you.

                 Noran and Macke stand behind Ex-Wife. Ex-Wife lowers head
                 as she quickly exits. Mann stands at door quietly scolds
                 Ex-Wife as she passes.

                                         MANN
                           Keep your mouth shut… Yea… I
                           heard.

                 Noran sits to front of Vanhorn’s desk. Crawford sits at
                 corner of office. Ex-Wife exits. Mann shuts door walks
                 to rear of Noran. Mann stands questions Vanhorn.

MANN (CONT’D)
What’s the crazy bitch want now?

Vanhorn sarcastic answers.

VANHORN
What do you think?

Mann responds in jest.

MANN
Money!.. More money!

Vanhorn nods in agreement. Mann changes subject informs
Vanhorn.

                                         MANN (CONT’D)
                           Skeeter’s in Miami… Picked up a
                           Visa charge… A Marriot… South
                           Beach.

Noran serious informs Vanhorn.

                                         NORAN
                           We need to deal with Skeeter…
                           Iron Horseman failed!

Vanhorn questions Mann.

VANHORN
What happened?

Mann unsure responds.

                                         MANN
                           We’re not sure… They told us to
                           fuck off.

Vanhorn looks to Crawford then Noran for reassurance.
Noran serious explains to all.

                                         NORAN
                           We have gone outside the
                           association.

Crawford interrupts explains.

                                         CRAWFORD
                           Association will no longer help
                           us… Actual… They may be
                           helping Skeeter!

Noran looks to Crawford for reassurance. Crawford nods in
agreement. Noran continues.

                                         NORAN
                           Association… Or Feds…
                           Someone’s covering for Skeeter…
                           The Visa charge yesterday… Not
                           there today… Just disappeared…
                           Vanished!

Mann walks to side of Vanhorn’s desk. Mann cocky boast.

                                         MANN
                           We have employed… An independent
                           contractor… Outside the
                           Association… Hammer!.. A Private
                           Detective!.. Out of Tampa.

Noran interrupts laughs proclaims.

NORAN
P.I. My ass!.. Fuck’n “Hit-man”!

Crawford calm explains.

                                         CRAWFORD
                           He’s to locate Skeeter… Deal
                           with him!

Noran smiles evil smile.

                                         NORAN
                           Got to do!.. What’ch you got to
                           do!

Spider (God) works web at window corner of office.

66 INT. OFFICE (OLD MOB) (GOD) CHICAGO – SUNRISE 66

                 Samuel sits his back to desk (Face Unseen) in an
                 elaborately decorated office. He converses on phone.
                 Samuel admires the bright sunlit Chicago skyline. Cigar
                 smoke shrouds conversation. Samuel speaks angry loud.

                                         SAMUEL
                           Thought Hammer was told to stay
                           clear of the Association!.. Might
                           have to give old Hammer!.. Little
                           wake up call!

A cloud of cigar smoke flows above chair. Samuel
confident loud reassures.

                                         SAMUEL (CONT’D)
                           Al!.. I will personally take care
                           of this one!.. Count it done!

A cloud of cigar smoke flows above chair. Samuel speaks
loud in jest.

                                         SAMUEL (CONT’D)
                           Tell those ornery old coots!..
                           Vinny and Spike… Samuel said!..
                           Hey!

                 A Golden eagle stands perched atop flagpole. Crowns the
                 peak of highest high-rise. Eagle stands tall proud
                 surveying Chicago’s skyline. Leaps to sky as “Old Glory”
                 waves towards the soar.

67 EXT. SCHOOL BUS – DAY 67

                 School bus door opens. Robby and Joanie laugh as they
                 exit to their residence. Bus Driver 1 sits observes their
                 exit. Bus radio can be heard.

BUS RADIO
Bus 31… Bus 31… Over.

Bus driver 1 answers radio.

BUS DRIVER 1
Bus 31… Over.

Robby walks to mail box at street. Bus radio can be
heard.

                                         BUS RADIO
                           Your package drop off points…
                           Realtor One… Dealer One.

Robby removes mail. Sorts through mail.

                                         BUS DRIVER 1
                                (V.O.)
                           Affirmative… Realtor One…
                           Dealer One… Out.

Robby smiles displays two post cards to Joanie.

ROBBY
Dad!

Door of school bus shuts. Bus exits. Robby hands a post
card to Joanie.

ROBBY (CONT’D)
Here’s yours Joanie.

Robby smiles. Joanie laughs. Robby and Joanie walk
towards breezeway of residence.

                                         JOANIE
                           Dad’s in mountains!.. Mile High
                           Bridge!.. Look!

Joanie shows post card to Robby.

ROBBY
Look at mine!

Robby laughs displays post card (Girl in bikini on beach)
to Joanie.

                                         JOANIE
                           Better hide that one from mom!..
                           She’ll steal it… Use it against
                           dad… Like your “Hooter’s” hat
                           and playing cards.

Robby laughs reads back of post card to Joanie.

ROBBY
Listen what dad wrote… Joanie.

Robby reads back of post card.

                                         ROBBY (CONT’D)
                                (Read)
                           Hey dude!.. Riding Mach Two!.. Out
                           of hell!.. Blew her clothes off!..
                           Love Dad.

Both laugh. Joanie observes postal stamp on post card.

JOANIE
Look Rob!

                 Joanie smiles shows Robby postal stamp “Key West” on her
                 post card. Robby smiles ear to ear. Robby excited yells.
                 ROBBY
                           Dad made it!.. Yea!

                 Joanie laughs. Robby and Joanie approach storm door.
                 Joanie looks to Robby points to open entrance door. Robby
                 observes through breezeway opening Alexandria police
                 cruiser parked at backyard drive.

68 INT. ROBBY’S ROOM -DAY 68

                 Robby and Joanie observe through door opening Robby’s
                 room ransacked. Dirty Cop 3 pries on a safe with screw
                 driver. Robby angry confronts Dirty Cop 3.

                                         ROBBY
                           Get out of my room!.. You fuck’n
                           “Dick”!

Dirty Cop 3 angry stands hold safe approaches Robby.
Dirty Cop 3 yells angry mad.

                                         DIRTY COP 3
                           Fuck you punk!.. Where’s your
                           fuck’n Dad?.. Open this safe!

Robby angry confronts Dirty Cop 3.

                                         ROBBY
                           Fuck you “Dick”!.. Get out of my
                           room!

                 Dirty Cop 3 throws safe to floor. Dirty Cop 3 approaches
                 Robby grabs him throws Robby across room. Joanie angry
                 confronts Dirty Cop 3.

JOANIE
Get off my brother!.. Asshole!

Dirty Cop 3 removes his revolver aims it to Robby’s face.
Robby angry unafraid yells.

ROBBY
Shoot me!.. You dirty bitch!

Joanie fearful yells.

                                         JOANIE
                           Don’t Robby!.. He’s fuck’n
                           crazy!.. He’ll kill you!

Dirty Cop 3 angry yells loud.

DIRTY COP 3
Where’s your fuck’n dad?.. Punk!

Robby stares straight down barrel of gun. Robby angry
insults Dirty Cop 3.

                                         ROBBY
                           Fuck off!.. Slime Bag!.. Get out
                           of my room!-

Joanie fearful yells.

JOANIE
Robby!.. Don’t!

Ex-Wife enters room observes Dirty Cop 3 aiming gun at
Robby. Ex-Wife yells scolds Robby.

                                         EX-WIFE
                           What are you doing now Robby!..
                           Told you!.. You don’t listen!..
                           Cops can come in!.. Anytime!

                 Dirty Cop 3 lowers gun smiles to Ex-Wife. Ex-Wife returns
                 smile. Joanie shocked by mother’s betrayal looks to
                 Robby. Robby overwhelmed by mother’s betrayal pleas.

ROBBY
But mom!

Dirty Cop 3 stands aside Ex-Wife. Ex-Wife screams angry
nasty belittling Robby and Joanie.

                                         EX-WIFE
                           Shut up Robby!.. Clean this fuck’n
                           mess up!.. You help Joanie!

Ex-Wife screams angry nasty loud.

EX-WIFE (CONT’D)
Now!

Robby and Joanie stare saddened belittled to one another.

Fade to Black

Swamp Rat Yells Gator Shit Boss! Screenplay "Kiss My Ass K.Y." Part 9

skeetron — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 22:34:47 +0000

Kiss My Ass K.Y.

Rated R

Part 9: Scenes 69-82

by: Steven Jeffrey Cull

BASED ON A TRUE STORY

by SKEETRON

69 EXT. MARRIOT (SOUTH BEACH, MIAMI) – MORNING 69

Hammer exits Marriot Hotel questions Bellhop 1.

                                         HAMMER
                           Have you seen a middle age man?..
                           On a red motorcycle?.. Last couple
                           days.

Bellhop 1 responds.

BELLHOP 1
Out of Kentucky?

Hammer smiles makes offer.

                                         HAMMER
                           Yea… Twenty in it for you…
                           Tell me where he went.

Bellhop 1 nods “yes”.

Hammer hands Bellhop 1 twenty dollars. Bellhop 2
approaches. Bellhop 1 speaks to Bellhop 2.

                                         BELLHOP 1
                           This man would like to know about
                           that guy on the red motorcycle…
                           Where he went.

Bellhop 2 dances around Hammer.

                                         BELLHOP 2
                           Our man Skeeter?.. Cool dude!..
                           Who wants to know!

Hammer boast.

                                         HAMMER
                           Hammer… P.I. Hammer!.. Out of
                           Tampa.

Bellhop 2 smiles to Bellhop 1. Together they know their
next moves. Bellhop 2 serious points left.

BELLHOP 2
Skeeter went that way!

Bellhop 1 serious points right.

BELLHOP 1
Went that way!

Bellhop 1 smiles to Bellhop 2. Both laugh. Bellhop 2
insults Hammer.

                                         BELLHOP 2
                           Hammer your P.I. up your ass!
                           Righteous dude!

                 Bellhop 2 holds his ass begins hopping mimicking pain
                 while laughing. Hammer angry grabs for twenty dollars
                 held by Bellhop 1.

HAMMER
Fuck’n punks!

Bellhop 1 throws twenty dollars to feet of Hammer.
Bellhop 1 loud angry instructs.

BELLHOP 1
Time for you to leave… Dude!

Bellhop 2 continues.

BELLHOP 2
Before we call!

Bellhop 1 interrupts loud threatens Hammer.

BELLHOP 1
F.. B.. I.. Bitch!

Bellhop 2 serious points left.

BELLHOP 2
This way!.. Tam-Pon!

Bellhop 2 serious points right. Both look to one another.
Bust out laughing.

70 EXT. STREET (SOUTH BEACH) – MORNING 70

Hammer enters his car. Bellhop 2 nervous.

                                         BELLHOP 2
                                (V.O.)
                           You get his licence?.. Got it?

Bellhop 1 confident responds.

                                         BELLHOP 1
                                (V.O.)
                           Got it dude!.. What it is!.. What
                           it was!

Bellhop 2 excited approves.

                                         BELLHOP 2
                                (V.O.)
                           Yea dude!

Both laugh as Hammer drives away.

71 EXT. BEACH (WATER’S EDGE) – NIGHT 71

                 Skeeter sits at water’s edge smokes cigarette stares to
                 calm moonlit Atlantic Ocean. Chair has settled to side
                 from wave erosion of support. Beat of Spanish music
                 radiates from beach Tiki Bar at adjacent Hotel. Skeeter
                 curious turns stares across a dark beach towards Tiki
                 Bar. A lone palm rattles its palms to the music of Bob
                 Marley “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”. Skeeter stands walks
                 across dark beach towards Tiki Bar.

72 EXT. TIKI BAR – NIGHT 72

                 Skeeter sits at Tiki Bar. Few bar customers. Richard
                 approaches Skeeter from bartender area. Richard greets
                 Skeeter

RICHARD
Welcome friend!

Richard and Skeeter shake hands.

RICHARD (CONT’D)
What can we do you for?

Skeeter smokes cigarette.

SKEETER
Corona please.

Richard speaks to bartender Maria .

RICHARD
Maria!.. Corona!

Richard points to Skeeter. Maria smiles to Richard from
across bartender area.

MARIA
See!

Richard questions Skeeter.

RICHARD
Where are you down from?

Skeeter hesitate.

SKEETER
Kentucky.

Richard cleans ashtray.

RICHARD
Long way from home.

                 Skeeter nods in agreement. Maria smiles approaches holds
                 corona. She places beer to front of Skeeter. Richard
                 reminds Maria as he points to corona.

RICHARD (CONT’D)
Lime Maria.

Maria returns for lime

MARIA
See!.. See!

Richard speaks to Skeeter as he exits.

RICHARD
Enjoy your evening.

Maria returns places half a lemon to top of Skeeter’s
corona. Skeeter laughs at large lemon.

SKEETER
Gracious senorita.

Maria stands stares smiling across bar to Skeeter who
returns stare smiling. Two soul mates have met.

          73     EXT. EVERGLADES – NIGHT                               73
                 Audience Questions: Mob, FBI, or Drug Network.
                 Audience Questions: Hooded Man (Skeeter).

                 Flood lights approach through narrow grassy channel of
                 Everglades. Loud roar of engine precedes approach.
                 Captain Swamp Rat howls like a wolf maneuvers Airboat.
                 Four men dressed similar in black shirts stand within
                 boat. Black Shirt 3 and 4 hold shot guns stare to
                 darkness. Black Shirt 1 yells.

BLACK SHIRT 1
Swamp Rat!

Black Shirt 1 points directing captain to small treed
land area.

BLACK SHIRT 1 (CONT’D)
Over there!

                 Man (Hooded Man) with head covered by pillow slip lay hog
                 tied at bottom of boat. Black Shirt 2 kicks Hooded Man.
                 Hooded Man struggles moans (gaged). Hooded Man wrestles
                 restraints. Black Shirt 2 yells forceful loud.

                                         BLACK SHIRT 2
                           Ready asshole!.. Dinner time!..
                           Gators look hungry!

                 Airboat slides though grasses to shore. Captain Swamp Rat
                 shuts down engines. Switches lights off. Hum of insects
                 fills the air. Total darkness. Black Shirt 1 angry yells.

BLACK SHIRT 1
Turn those fuck’n lights on!

74 EXT. TIKI BAR – NIGHT 74

                 Skeeter sits smiles observes a small cave-man-like
                 individual dances cave-man style among others. All dance
                 wildly enjoying the night. Oddly, a tall Jamaican man,
                 sings “Buffalo Soldier” at Karaoke tent. Maria smiles
                 approaches Skeeter stands across bar holds a corona.
                 Henry at karaoke announces.

                                         HENRY
                           Now its time for our feature
                           presentation… Maria… Cooler…
                           You ready?

                 Maria smiles to Skeeter. She steps onto a cooler at
                 center of bar area. With arms raised she dances complete
                 revolution. Applause in background. Henry smiles speaks
                 into microphone.

                                         HENRY (CONT’D)
                           We dedicate this song to Maria…
                           because we love her… We present
                           Maria with… the “Big Bamboo”.

Maria smiles arms raised. Customers cheer.

MUSIC
Song: Big Bamboo.

                 Maria smiles as she dances with arms raised. She rotates
                 on cooler as she wiggles hips dancing Spanish style. Song
                 “Big Bamboo” in background. Customers cheer and applause.
                 Skeeter smiles to Maria in amazement of her zest for
                 life. Henry speaks into microphone. Song “Big Bamboo”
                 ends.

HENRY
Let’s hear it for Maria.

Customers cheer laugh and applause loudly.

                                         HENRY (CONT’D)
                           Maria is our Colombian
                           firecracker.

75 EXT. EVERGLADES – SUNRISE 75

Airboat lights glow. Lights buzzed with insects. Black
Shirt 1 motions to Black Shirt 3 to inspect land area.

BLACK SHIRT 1
Check it out.

Black Shirt 1 points along shore at sides of boat.

BLACK SHIRT 1 (CONT’D)
Check for gators!

Black Shirt 3 holds shotgun ready as he inspects area.

BLACK SHIRT 3
All good boss!.. No gators!

Four Black Shirt men carry hog tied Hooded Man. Black
Shirt Points 1 to matted grassy area.

BLACK SHIRT 1
Over there.

                 Black Shirts drop Hooded Man belly first to ground.
                 Hooded Man moans in pain. Black Shirt 1 cuts ties speaks
                 sharply. Hooded Man attempts to remove hood. Black Shirt
                 1 speaks forceful.

BLACK SHIRT 1 (CONT’D)
Leave it on Bitch!.. Sit up!

                 Hooded Man leaves hood sits untangles restraints from
                 hands and feet. All quiet. Black shirt 1 motions to Black
                 shirt 4 to fire shotgun into air. Loud shotgun blast.
                 Black Shirt 1 forceful loud scolds Hooded Man.

                                         BLACK SHIRT 1 (CONT’D)
                           Listen asshole!.. You pissed off
                           my bosses!.. That’s why you’re
                           here!.. You were told to stay out
                           of their business!

                 Black Shirt 1 kicks Hooded Man in side. Hooded Man moans.
                 Black Shirt 1 motions to Black Shirt 3 to dump container
                 atop Hooded Man. Black Shirt 3 speaks loud to Hooded Man.

BLACK SHIRT 3
Blood boy!.. Gator appetizer!

Black Shirt 1 motions to all to remain quiet. All quiet.
Black Shirt 1 leans to Hooded Man speaks forceful.

                                         BLACK SHIRT 1
                           Here me now!.. Got two options!..
                           Option one… Feed gators!..
                           You’re the food!.. Option two…
                           Follow my commands!.. Boss’s
                           commands!.. Exactly!

Black Shirt 1 smacks Hooded man to side of head with open
hand. Hooded Man gaged attempts to respond.

                                         BLACK SHIRT 1 (CONT’D)
                           Waiver once!.. Your see the
                           asshole of a gator!.. From
                           inside!

                 Black Shirt 2 smacks Hooded man to other side of head.
                 Hooded Man gaged attempts to respond. Black Shirt 1 angry
                 demands response.

                                         BLACK SHIRT 1 (CONT’D)
                           What’s your choice bitch?.. Option
                           One?.. Or Option Two?

Hooded Man gaged attempts to respond. Black Shirt 2 angry
questions Hooded Man.

                                         BLACK SHIRT 1 (CONT’D)
                           What did you say asshole?.. Can’t
                           hear you!

                 Hooded Man gaged attempts to respond. Black Shirt 3 leans
                 listens to Hooded Man. Black Shirt 3 laughs speaks to
                 Black Shirt 1.

                                         BLACK SHIRT 3
                           Said gator boss!.. Heard him!..
                           Swear!

Swamp Rat sits at controls of Airboat. Swamp Rat laughs
yells.

                                         SWAMP RAT
                           That’s what I heard!.. Gator shit
                           boss!

76 EXT. TIKI BAR – NIGHT 76

                 Skeeter sits alone at bar. Few customers. Bartender Maria
                 smiles dances as she approaches Skeeter. She carries a
                 corona. Skeeter smiles. Maria places corona to bar. She
                 stands stares smiling. Unaware of what she actual says
                 she blurts out with a Spanish accent.

MARIA
Beautiful eyes!

Skeeter smiles as Maria stares smiles expecting a
response.

SKEETER
Thank you Maria.

Skeeter points to Maria.

SKEETER (CONT’D)
Beautiful smile.

Maria happy stares smiling to Skeeter. She suddenly turns
dances to other end of bar.

77 EXT. EVERGLADES – MORNING 77

                 Black Shirt 1 removes hood from Hooded man. Hammer
                 petrified struggles to speak though duct tape gag. Black
                 Shirt 2 removes duct tape. Hammer fearful yells.

HAMMER
Two!.. Option two!

Hammer stares to Black Shirt 4. Then turns stares to
Black shirt 2. Hammer fearful pleas.

                                         HAMMER (CONT’D)
                           Whatever you want!.. I’ll do it!..
                           Yes sir!

Black Shirt 1 forceful commands Hammer.

                                         BLACK SHIRT 1
                           You will make a phone call for
                           us!.. Understood!

Hammer fearful nods “yes” stares to Black Shirt 1.

                                         BLACK SHIRT 1 (CONT’D)
                           Do!.. And say!.. Exactly as I
                           demand!.. Understood!

Black Shirt 1 hands Hammer a note pad.

BLACK SHIRT 1 (CONT’D)
Study it!

Hammer fearful nods “Yes”. Begins study.

A large alligator swims along Airboat splashes tail.
Sounds of Everglades can be heard.

78 EXT. EVERGLADES – MORNING 78

                 Hammer sits in matted grassy area surrounded by Black
                 Shirt 1,2,3, and 4. Black shirt 1 instructs Black Shirt
                 3.

BLACK SHIRT 1
Bring satellite phone.

                 Black Shirt 3 hands phone to Black Shirt 2 holds
                 Satellite transmitter. Black Shirt 3 and 4 aim shotguns
                 to Hammer”s head. Black Shirt 1 leans to Hammer points to
                 note pad threatens Hammer.

BLACK SHIRT 1 (CONT’D)
Got it?.. No mistakes!

                 Black Shirt 1 hands phone microphone to Hammer. Hammer
                 terrified holds phone in one hand. Note pad in other.
                 Phone rings many rings. Secretary 1 answers. (Voice is
                 heard though phone speaker).

                                         SECRETARY 1
                                (V.O.)
                           How may I direct your call?

Hammer fearful reads from note pad.

HAMMER
Bank President Vanhorn.

Hammer looks to Black Shirt 1 for approval. Black Shirt 1
nods “yes”.

                                         SECRETARY 1
                                (V.O.)
                           Who may I say is calling sir?

Hammer hesitate answers.

                                         HAMMER
                           Hammer… P. I. Hammer… Tampa
                           Florida.

                                         SECRETARY 1
                                (V.O.)
                           One minute sir.

Black Shirt 1 instructs Hammer.

BLACK SHIRT 1
Speak forceful… Cocky!

Hammer nods “Yes”. Vanhorn answers.

                                         VANHORN
                                (V.O.)
                           President Vanhorn.

Hammer boost.

HAMMER
Hammer… P. I. Hammer.

Black Shirt 1 nods “Yes”.

                                         VANHORN
                           Been waiting for your call Mister
                           Hammer… Got any news?

Hammer studies note pad.

                                         HAMMER
                           Yes sir… Message is for… The
                           Cake Club of Campbell County
                           Kentucky.

Vanhorn boast.

                                         VANHORN
                                (V.O.)
                           Yes sir!.. I represent Cake Club.

Hammer speaks forceful loud.

HAMMER
Skeeter has been eliminated.

Vanhorn pauses. Excited he questions.

                                         VANHORN
                                (V.O.)
                           Skeeter’s dead?

Black Shirt 1 points to note pad. Hammer speaks forceful
loud.

Black Shirt 1 points to note pad.

                                         HAMMER
                           I repeat!.. Skeeter has been
                           eliminated… Everglades Florida.

Vanhorn interrupts repeats question.

                                         VANHORN
                                (V.O.)
                           Say Skeeter’s dead?

Hammer confused irritated repeats.

HAMMER
Been eliminated… Yes sir.

Hammer studies note pad. Speaks forceful loud.

                                         HAMMER (CONT’D)
                           Sending Bank a present…
                           Skeeter’s ear!.. Transfer funds
                           immediately.

Vanhorn delighted with news.

                                         VANHORN
                                (V.O.)
                           Yes sir… Good news!

Black Shirt 1 points to note. Hammer demands.

HAMMER
Transfer funds immediately.

Black Shirt 2 disconnects phone. Hammer fearful smiles to
Black Shirt 1.

HAMMER (CONT’D)
Good job!.. Right!

Black Shirt 4 displays knife approaches Hammer from rear.
Black Shirt 4 cuts Hammer’s ear off. Displays ear.

79 EXT. ALLIGATOR ALLEY (I-75 N) – MORNING 79

Iron Horseman 1 rides motorcycle in slow lane travels
towards Naples Florida.

                 Loud horn blast of Tractor Trailer (Teamsters) can be
                 heard. Tractor Trailer merges to slow lane forces Iron
                 Horseman 1 to crash into swampy waters of Everglades.

80 EXT. TIKI BAR – NIGHT 80

                 Marlin dances with a young lady. Oddly carries Maria as
                 they dance. Karaoke dance floor filled with dancers of
                 all combinations of nationalities, races, ages, sizes and
                 shapes. All party smile having fun. Getting wild Miami
                 style. Richard bartends across bar from Tiki Bob and
                 Skeeter. Tiki Bob drinks beer advises Skeeter.

                                         TIKI BOB
                           Your down here now Skeeter…
                           Remember… A good life… Is the
                           best revenge.

Tiki Bob smiles a big friendly smile. Oddly carries Maria
dances along side. Maria laughs yelling to Skeeter.

MARIA
Beautiful eyes!

81 EXT. MIAMI BEACH -SUNRISE 81

The calm blue Atlantic fuses with a bright sunrise. A
lone fish jumps from waters.

82 EXT. ALLIGATOR ALLEY (I-75 N) – MORNING 82

                 Skeeter rides motorcycle in slow lane towards Naples
                 Florida. The sun rises rearward as a tractor trailer
                 toots horn passes. Rear of truck reads “Welcome To
                 Florida”.

Fade to Black.

Some Crimes Are Too Big To Be Dealt With!

skeetron — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 14:45:08 +0000

Screenplay Series Synopsis

BASED ON A TRUE STORY

By Skeetron

Author: Steven Jeffrey Cull (Skeetron)

Skeeter, the main character, was born, lived, worked, and conducted business within Campbell County, Kentucky. He is average height, 200 pounds, in his late forties. Muscular in stature; a construction worker. Sandy brown, wild looking shoulder length hair. Dark complexion with facial wriggles from working outdoors. Has country accent. Super bright blue eyes. Short white beard. Loves to laugh; a prankster.

Skeeter owned and operated a residential design and construction company his entire life and was recognized for his unusual and wild house designs. Obtained an Architectural Engineering Bachelor degree from the University of Cincinnati. Worked hard his entire life; would design by night, work hand in hand with contractors by day, and farm in evenings. Skeeter was financial successful and invested entirely in a 300 acre farm where he grew hay and managed cattle. Skeeter’s plan was to develope a residential subdivision on 50 acres increasing the value of the remaining property. Skeeter planned to invest profits from increase equity in farm into Florida real estate and Florida construction business as his father did. His retirement. His children’s future.

Skeeter lost everything to corruption in Kentucky at the local, State, and Federal levels of the justice system and the legislative system, and their associations with Kentucky organized crime and drug trafficking. Death, murder, embezzlement, and practically every other crime were employed by the corruption against the community and Skeeter. Acquisition of Skeeter’s farm was the center core property necessary for the development of an airport 25 miles from downtown Cincinnati. Airport would determine the route of a new major road bypass. Cross County Highway project. Those involved would profit in the billions of dollars. Their only obstacle was Skeeter. Others, unaware of the airport, were involved strictly to embezzle Skeeter’s monies, funding an illegal drug distribution network, mainly heroin. A local bank chain, established with old Newport, Kentucky mob monies, gives an open cash drawer rights to individuals unaware these individuals are drug dealers. The local bank gives embezzlement rights in order to financially liquidate Skeeter, foreclose on his farm and sell an airport site intact, funded by Federal and State monies.

The Kentucky Hillbilly Drug Cartel managed the murder of children by overdose, with super strength heroin locally.

The old established mob of America, displeased, with the actions of the Hillbilly Crime Networks aid Skeeter in his survival. Kentucky has violated their code of conduct, creating unwelcome publicity.

With the heat on locally from the Federal DEA, and without protection from the “Old Mob”, Kentucky unloads its poisonous heroin throughout the country, killing thousands. America’s drug problem increases ten fold.

Skeeter contacts an old childhood buddy who happened to be high up in the Federal DEA, and together, but separately, they, and federal law enforcement agencies, uncovered the crimes and corruption nationally as well as internationally. The long and involved Federal investigations, in which many law enforcement risk their lives, is shut down to cover up and protect those involved in the corruption and criminal activities at high levels. Some high ranking official were involved with the drugs, others involved with the airport. Kentucky Senators and Congressmen and their federal associates participate in cover up conspiracies. The greed of Kentucky’s governors, legislators, and judges fuels the corruption and death. Some high ranking officials thinking a new airport to be good for the community, unaware of the corruption, become criminally liable, and they themselves must aid in the cover up to protect themselves and those involved.

All crimes must be covered up. The “Truth” be “Silenced” forever, at whatever cost. The American people must never know such corruption exists otherwise the national security of the country might be at risk. More Americans die from the drugs than died in the 911 attack. Families, unaware of the truth, bury their children. Hundreds of thousands of families across the nation are affected by the criminal greed of Kentucky.

Some crimes are too big to be dealt with. Skeeter knows too much. Skeeter must be destroyed. Skeeter is expendable to some. To others, the only hope for the “truth”, their “hands are tied”. Federal and Florida law enforcement agencies are helping Skeeter and covering his tracks, unofficially, till he can get a foothold and fight back.

From Florida, living on his boat, ”Neptune’s Love Palace”, he constantly must move, leaving behind friends and home. Starting anew at another harbour. This screenplay is the “Fight Back”. God Bless America.

Skeetron and or Skeeter.

Los 5 Mejores Shows Navideños de Parques Tematicos en Orlando

robertogalindo45 — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 22:15:27 +0000

Los parques temáticos de la Florida Central celebran la temporada de vacaciones en grande – con arboles de Navidad de 20 metros de altura, kilómetros de guirnaldas y millones de luces. Desfiles festivos y entretenimiento temático se suman a la diversión. Con el día de Navidad y el Día de Año Nuevo en un año cayendo un día viernes, es fácil disfrutar de una escapada joviala los parques tematicos de la Florida.

Aquí hay algunas de las atracciones de este año. Los precios de las entradas están sujetos a cambios sin previo aviso.

1. Disney’s Hollywood Studios, Walt Disney World – Las vacaciones han añadido brillo al espectáculo de la Osborne Family Dancing Lights en Disney’s Hollywood Studios el 10 de Noviembre hasta Enero Millones de luces de colores iluminan los Studios con escenas animadas como ángeles volando, mientras la nieve cae de arriba. El espectáculo está incluido en la admisión regular al parque: $ 79 para adultos, $ 68 para los niños.

2. Epcot, Walt Disney World – Holidays Around The World le da un sabor internacional a la temporada desde Noviembre 27 hasta Diciembre 30. Esta querida tradición en Epcot presenta narradores disfrazados como Los Tres Reyes Magos en el Pabellón de México y Pere Noel en el Pabellón de Francia. Otros festejos incluyen ceremonia diario de encendido de árbol, un show de luces y el Candlelight Processional presentado en el America Gardens Theatre con narradores celebridades, un coro y orquesta de 50 musicos que cuentan la historia de la Navidad en palabras y música. La admisión es $ 79 para adultos, $ 68 para los niños.

3. Islands of Adventure, Universal Orlando Resort – Grinchmas en Islands of Adventure celebra el cuanto de la Navidad del querido Dr. Seuss ‘ y Universal Pictures y Imagine Entertainment presenta la galardonada película “Como el Grinch Robó la Navidad” desde Diciembre 6 hasta el primero de Enero. La sección del parque conocida como Seuss Landing se transforma con adornos de colores y los visitantes pueden visitar al Grinch en su guarida, que está equipada con accesorios de película auténtica y gadgets. Un musicales en vivo re-cuenta la historia de la bah-farsa Grinch. Los festejos se incluyen en la admisión regular: un día de admisión a la puerta es de $ 79 para adultos, $ 69 para niños.

4. Magic Kingdom, Walt Disney World – Un desfile con todo, desde los hombres de jengibre y soldados de juguete hasta el mismo Santa es de lo que más destaca en el desfíle Mickey’s Very Merry Christmas Party, un evento que se presenta en noches selectas desde Noviembre 10 hasta Diciembre 18. Otros que hay que ver son las luces del Castle Dream Lights, cubriendo el Castillo de Cenicienta con brillantes luces blancas, shows con temas navideños, oportunidades para saludar y conocer a los personajes de Disney y Holiday Wishes: Celebrate the Spirit of the Season con un show de fuegos artificiales. Mágica nieve cae en Main Street, EE.UU. y el chocolate y galletas son servidas. La fiesta Navideña es un evento de boleto separado con precios que comienzan en $ 53 (día de) y de $ 46 (por compra anticipados de compra disponibles en las noches selectas solamente).

5. Sea World, Orlando – Christmas at Sea World, de Noviembre 14 a Enero 2, cuenta con decoraciones festivas, y nevadas en la sección de Waterfront del parque. Otros puntos destacados incluyen música navideña en vivo de música clásica y villancicos. Los residentes de Florida y Georgia pagan $ 64,95 para la admisión (adultos y niños).

Orlando, Florida Guide, la guía más completa en línea de Orlando, le ofrece información de tiquetes a Disney World, tiquetes a Universal Orlando, y tiquetes a Sea World Orlando.

LeBron James Gets His First Feature Film

Amani — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 20:30:13 +0000

NBA Superstar LeBron James has signed on to Universal Pictures/Imagine Entertainment Fantasy Basketb

Russell Crowe counts 'Three Days'

goremasterfx — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 12:46:05 +0000

Jay A. Fernandez and Steven Zeitchik – HollywoodReporter.com

Russell Crowe is in final negotiations to star in writer-director Paul Haggis’ next film, “The Next Three Days,” for Lionsgate.
Haggis, who made his Oscar-winning “Crash” at the studio, is writing, directing and producing the remake of the French thriller “Pour Elle.” It tells the story of a married couple thrown into a harrowing situation when the wife is imprisoned for a murder she claims she didn’t commit and the husband must devise a way to get her out.
Lionsgate acquired the remake rights to the 2008 original, written and directed by Fred Cavaye, from Wild Bunch and Fidelite Films in June. Filming is scheduled to begin in September.
Haggis’ Highway 61 Films partner Michael Nozik and Fidelite’s Marc Missonnier and Olivier Delbosc are producing. Lionsgate execs Alli Shearmur and Wolfgang Hammer are overseeing for the studio.
The WME-repped Crowe is finishing up filming on Ridley Scott’s “Robin Hood” for Imagine Entertainment and Universal, which will release the film in May. He last starred in “State of Play” and “Body of Lies.”
Lionsgate will release “Gamer” and “Tyler Perry’s I Can Do Bad All by Myself” in the fall.

“Bride of Frankenstein” to be Remarried, Remade that is…

HorrorFatale — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 19:04:45 +0000

In the latest effort to continue the trend of remaking everything and the kitchen sink, Universal and Imagine studios are said to be in talks with Neil Burger to write and direct the remake of the1935 monster movie. Burger,who would pen the script with writing partner Dirk Wittenborn, wrote and directed “The Illusionist,” the Edward Norton movie.

The original movie starred Boris Karloff as the Frankenstein monster and Elsa Lanchester as Mrs. Fank. No word on the new stars or where Burger will take this update.

Well at least it’s a really old classic that might, I stress might benefit from and update.
FYI: Do not change Mrs. Frank’s hot hair!

Source; Hollywood Reporter

Frost/Nixon, il duello

Sandyposten — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 12:10:03 +0000

Sceneggiato da Peter Morgan (“The Queen“) e diretto dal regista Ron Howard, il film sull’intervista del 1977 all’ex-presidente americano Richard Milhouse Nixon da parte del giornalista inglese David Frost. Gli incontri ricordano molto una disputa di boxe seza esclusione di colpi. Dopo lo scandalo del Watergate, Nixon intende convincere il mondo che si è comportato, malgrado tutto, da statista. Frost, invece, vuole che ammetta davanti alle telecamere di aver violato la legalità.

A questo punto il giornalista il 23 Marzo 1977 parte per Washington per sborsare una quota di 200mila dollari e giocandosi l’intera carriera (nonché indebitandosi). Frost sceglie per l’intervista, tre suoi stimati colleghi: John Birt (Matthew Macfadyen), Bob Zelnick (Oliver Platt) e Jim Reston (Sam Rockwell). Quest’ultimo un universitario che ha come missione incastrare Nixon sullo scandalo del Watergate. Nel viaggio Frost incontra la bella Caroline (Rebecca Hall) che diverrà la sua compagna di quest’avventura.

All’intervista Nixon appare furbo ed ingegnoso spiazzando David Frost, così anche nel successivo colloquio riesce ancora una volta ad avere la meglio.

Tanto che il giornalista ormai agli sgoccioli lavora in una insonne nottata per cercare il punto debole dell’avversario.

Arriva il 22 Aprile 1977, ultima data, l’incontro all’inizio sembra già per dare scontato il vinto e vincitore, ma Frost non si perde d’animo e riesce a capovolgere la situazione. Proprio quando Nixon sembra per ammettere la colpa, l’intervista viene interrotta, sotto ordine di Jack Brennan (Kevin Bacon), collaboratore fidato del presidente.

Jack si confida con Nixon, ma questi decide di proseguire l’intervista, ammettendo davanti alla telecamera i suoi errori e il suo tradimento nei confronti del popolo americano. David Frost ha vinto la sua battaglia.

Prima di dare un voto al film, vi espongo la mia scala soggettiva che va da 1 a 10 (senza i mezzi punti), il primo significa “inguardabile” anche a pensarlo, mentre il decimo indica che è un capolavoro (il che è raro).

Dunque, il film a mio parere è fatto molto bene, apprezzo la trovata di intermezzare il film con le interviste ai personaggi della storia che contribuiscono a capire meglio la storia. Davvero sorprendente la bravura di Langella nei panni di Nixon, già interprete sul palcoscenico. Di contro non ho nulla da segnalare. Voto: 8

HW #15

deeanaoh — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 23:44:37 +0000

More old news:

Guillermo del Toro is now booked through 2017: Universal has a three-year first-look deal with the helmer inked in June ’07, and has made a long-term commitment with del Toro by setting up four directing projects, including remakes of:
- “Frankenstein“: “To me, Frankenstein represents the essential human question: ‘Why did my creator throw me here, unprotected, unguided, unaided and lost?’” del Toro said. “With that one, they will have to pry it from my cold dead hands to prevent me from directing it.”
- “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde“: del Toro wants to stick more closely to Robert Louis Stevenson’s prose and explore the addictive high the repressed Jekyll experienced as his murderous alter ego.
- “Slaughterhouse-Five“: del Toro plans to provide a more literal interpretation, hewing closely to the Vonnegut novel about a prisoner in a German WWII POW camp who travels through time and space.
- An adaptation of “Drood,” a Dan Simmons novel acquired by U that will be published in February.
- In addition, the studio still has its sights set on del Toro’s pet project, an adaptation of H.P. Lovecraft’s “At the Mountains of Madness.”‘
- del Toro’s first priority is New Line and MGM’s “The Hobbit,” to which he has committed the next five years.
- U also has on the horizon an adaptation of David Moody’s apocalyptic novel “Hater” that del Toro will produce with Mark Johnson but not direct, and “Crimson Peak,” a gothic romance spec script by del Toro and his “Mimic” collaborator Matthew Robbins, which del Toro will produce but not direct.

[via Variety]

The few rules governing logos remain largely unwritten. The distributor always goes first. They have a pecking order that depends on who’s executive producing the movie, whose production company is most involved. Studios don’t like it when another company’s logo spends more time onscreen than theirs does. Most max out at 14 or 15 seconds (Walt Disney Pictures‘ enchanted castle is longest, at 30). Leave one off and risk a lawsuit, as Warner found after chopping the Ladd Co. tree from DVD prints of “Body Heat” and “Chariots of Fire.”

[via Variety]

Bill Martin and Mike Schiff (“Grounded for Life“) have been named exec producer-showrunners of CBS comedy project “We Need Girlfriends.” Based on a series of YouTube videos, “We Need Girlfriends” centers on three recent college grads who enter the Gotham dating scene after all of their girlfriends dump them at once. Besides “Grounded for Life,” Martin and Schiff’s credits include “Cavemen” and “3rd Rock From the Sun.” Here’s what drew my attention: Sony-based Darren Star is also exec producing. That Darren Star fellow…always bringing the hot older, successful women characters. And then bringing them down with trite, self-absorbed and somewhat repetitive bitchfests about their love lives and “careers”.

[via Variety]

Ron Livingston has been cast to join “Company Men“, an office-set indie comedy. More cast details here.

[via Variety]

One of the more interesting new media ideas I’ve heard recently: “CSI” creator Anthony Zuiker has made a seven-figure deal with Dutton to create a series of three suspense-thriller “digital novels. Project is a publishing hybrid that broadens traditional book reading into a multiplatform experience that includes filmed components and an interactive social networking site. At the conclusion of each five chapters, readers will be given codes to log onto a website that will feature two-minute filmed vignettes providing a cinematic bridge to the next five chapters. At the book’s conclusion, readers can join an online community in which they can interact with others and hatch characters and storylines. The best suggestions will be incorporated into future titles, Zuiker said. Zuiker’s first interactive title, “Sqweegel,” will be published by Dutton in fall 2009. Series revolves around an ex-FBI forensic investigator who retired early after his entire family was murdered. He becomes a rogue forensic detective, taking on cases that are too grim and graphic for “CSI.” Zuiker will write a 60-page outline for each book, then supervise a novelist who’ll turn it into a 100-chapter book. Zuiker will write and direct 20 “cyber-bridges,” the two-minute video segments that supplement the pages. The series will seek to bring advertisers to publishing through product placement in the book and the Web portal. “I learned from TV and Silicon Valley that advertisers want multiple levels of audience engagement,” Zuiker said. He hopes to turn the series into a feature. Trident Media Group’s Dan Strone and Brillstein Entertainment Partners made the deal.

[via Variety]

Universal Pictures and Imagine Entertainment has set Wes Anderson to write “My Best Friend,” a remake of the 2006 Patrice Leconte-directed French comedy “Mon meilleur ami.” Anderson is also eying the project as a directing vehicle. Brian Grazer and Agnes Mentre will produce. Rosalie Swedlin will be executive producer. The French pic starred Daniel Auteuil as a cranky antiques dealer who learns at a dinner with his closest acquaintances that none of them really like him because of his harsh manner and selfishness. When his business partner bets him a valuable vase that he can’t produce a best friend, the dealer tries to get an amiable cab driver to pose as his buddy.

[via Variety]

Paramount Pictures has made a deal with Wildbrain to turn its Kidrobot branded collectible character creations into a series of feature films that will be a mix of animation and live action. The films will be generated through Par’s Nickelodeon Movies family label and produced by Scott Aversano, who made an overall producing deal with the studio after ankling his post as head of the Nick and MTV Films labels. Kidrobot prexy-founder Paul Budnitz will be an executive producer along with Wildbrain head of creative Bob Higgins and prexy-CEO Charles Rivkin. The creatures come with no linear storyline, so the plan is to draft a writer for pen a story about ordinary kids who are transported into the edgy world populated by the Kidrobot creatures. Wildbrain, which acquired the company from Budnitz, is the producer of the Nick Jr. series “Yo Gabba Gabba!,” and “Higglytown Heroes” for the Disney Channel, and a prolific maker of commercials.

[via Variety]

La muerte de Blockbuster.

eric — Tue, 06 May 2008 23:50:32 +0000

No se trata de un título amarillista para generar tráfico, ni mucho menos de un vaticinio del tipo de la cienciología ni nada parecido. Se trata de que el futuro es a veces, y sólo a veces predecible; pero como siempre, el tiempo nos dará la razón o desmentirá dichas aseveraciones.

El caso es que hace pocos días se destapó la noticia de que Apple cerró un importante acuerdo con 11 de los estudios más importantes de Hollywood, para que las películas salgan a la venta al mismo tiempo que son liberadas en DVD, mediante una plataforma que se ha vuelto importantísima para su sitio de ventas; el omnipresente iTunes.

Resulta que con la misma calidad que como vemos un DVD podremos bajar desde su sitio las películas en el formato que decidamos, PAL o NTSC, directamente a nuestro computador; con ello eliminan la necesidad de rentar/comprar películas en videoclubes y por ende su existencia. Vamos, hasta la piratería, si bien no desaparecerá con esta movida táctica de Jobs, sufrirá por la descarga masiva y a buenos precios.

El convenio incluye a estudios del tamaño de: 20th Century Fox, Walt Disney Studios, Warner Bros, Paramount Pictures, Universal, Sony Pictures, Lionsgate, Imagine Entertainment y First Look Studios y Pixar Studios. Los más grandes players de la industria (monetariamente hablando, claro está).

Está claro el camino que la industria del cine (que posee acuerdos o son dueños de las también vapuleadas discográficas que han cedido ante el iTunes) está tomando, aunque como ya dije, el tiempo nos dará o quitará la razón.

En el terreno publicitario estaremos esperando la campaña para dicho lanzamiento con ansias, seguro por parte de TBWA.

American Gangster

Mr. Anderson — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 03:56:55 +0000

A fines de los años 60’s Nueva York estaba dominada por la mafia, la organización criminal (pr

The Changeling: Suspense de Clint Eastwood tem Angelina Jolie

Deivison Oliveira — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 23:00:05 +0000

Na trama, Angelina Jolie (O Preço da Coragem) vive uma mãe, cujo o filho é sequestrado. Mas logo devolvido a família. O problema começa mesmo quando ela suspeita que a criança não é dela, fazendo com que ela enfrente uma a corrupção no departamento de polícia de Los Angeles para descobrir a verdade.

Os eventos são baseado num caso da década de 1920.

Além de Jolie, também estão no elenco John Malkovich, Jeffrey Donovan, Colm Feore, Jason Butler Harner, Amy Ryan e Michael Kelly.

Primeiras fotos oficiais do filme:

A Universal e a Imagine Entertainment cuidam da produção e o roteiro é de J. Michael Straczynski (criador da série de TV Babylon V).

The Changeling estréia em 2008.