Their blood will reign yet kings abandon their thrones
Leaving bemused queens raising princes alone
Takes more than bricks and mortar to be making a home
Yet they lay the foundations then to new projects they’ve flown
Declaring the season wasn’t right despite the seeds they’ve sown
Finding reasons to treat the field like a weed that’s grown
Their blood will reign yet kings abandon their thrones

Sitting pretty getting fed while queens cry alone
Declarations of kingship drown out weary groans
The kingdom is the queens for she builds alone
Who’s the king where’s the king the prince wants to know
Looking him in the eye as he sits on the throne
Where’ve you been what’ve you seen of my growth
Don’t you love me or really didn’t you want to know
Your blood will reign when you’ve been overthrown

Love can and will reign yet blood run will cold
For a king who ignored their heir till they were 20 years old
How can a king be a king when the queen ruled the throne?
He wasn’t even the power behind it he wasn’t a king at all
But to the queens who get big and want their kings dethroned
Check yourself to make sure your truly giving your all
To my kings who simply think that rulings a ball
Stop playing the game or your house will fall
A single mothers cry isn’t nice no, no
Fathers your blood will reign so take control of your throne

while youth is fleeting
immature is forever
so i still have that

Our world is consumed with what we (or they) deserve. This undergirds all of the wariness about welfare or socialism. Under no circumstance, we believe,  should we allow people access to what they don’t, supposedly, deserve. We are willing to entertain the starvation of children rather than bend this iron rule. What would the world come to if we did not keep the loafers and schemers at bay?

The normal liberal response to this is to insist that the poor are deserving, but this only plays into the hands of those who doubt. It is much better to make it clear that none of us deserves anything that we have. It has all been, at best, luck and, at worst, exploitation. There is no deserving. There is no just dessert.

This is a really well written and informative article I ran across at clugmagonline.com. I never pass up the opportunity to retain knowledge and wisdom from outside sources, it helps. I encourage everyone reading this to grasp the jewels needed for life. 

Enjoy:

And You Say He’s Just A Friend

Monday Nov 23, 2009 – By Alaina L. Lewis

Love used to start out with the same ole scenario that carefully played out over the harmonious chirps of a blue bird fluttering high in the clear blue sky. Boy meets girl, boy asks girl out, boy and girl hit it off, then boy breaks out the knee pads and pops the question. Err– maybe back in 1983.

It’s 2009 Ladies. It seems like you can barely get a man to pick his chin up off the floor after he’s made a mistake so I wouldn’t be one to assume he’s “gentleman” enough to stoop down to make any statement of importance. Unless by chance they’re playing Get Low in a local nightclub and he’s the type who is constantly victimized by the rhythm and the beat. (See Dave Chappelle’s White People Dancing).

Face it, we’re living in the modern era, when the ideas and practices of yesteryear are about as old school as waiting until marriage to swap more than spit or exchange front door keys.

So as love changes and the normal rules become a hesitant action, so do the channels we must go through to find a mate who’s ready to comply with our virtuous plan.

So what happens when you actually meet that man of your dreams and you’re unsure of his agenda or confused about his long-term intentions when considering his rules of the game? Is he all about booty calls, temporary love affairs, open-ended relationships, short-term thrills and chills, or is there anyone out here that still believes in playing for keeps?

(Of course… and please give them my number if you come across one. Thank you.)

But seriously, the one thing I will say for certain that goes without a doubt when discerning whether your potential Prince is worth more than the 5 minutes he invests in the bedroom after splitting the cost of theater popcorn or the tab at your favorite restaurant, is that the words he sows, are about as matter of fact as the statements he’s not making pertaining to his participation in the “real-lationship.”

If a man says he’s just a “friend” and is not looking for anything more at the present moment, then the only thing you need to question is why you’re assuming that you can change his perspective, if that’s your mission at the present time.

For some reason many of us look at the “friend” barrier like climbing the wall during basic training: a small challenge that will lead to a victorious outcome. We take the statement lightly, canoodle ’til our hearts desire, live for the moment and dare to cross those physical boundaries, all the while being met by a mutual response from a man who’d never turn down candy for a carrot.

Needless to say, we find ours hearts latching on to their actions and begin to believe the hype associated with any clever opportunist, which is what they are, while pretending as if his “friend” statement was just a defense against hurt. Remember, no man is dumb enough to pass on what you’re willing to hand out freely when knowing his position to remain uncommitted from the very beginning.

I don’t care how good your nookie is or if you can burn a mean casserole, while simultaneously flushing a car engine, and juggling tree (three) jobs like your Jamaican neighbor. When going on that quest to make a man eat his words and rush to love, you’d probably have better luck finding the lost city of Atlantis.

No matter how many times you try to impress your “friend” with your caring heart, or argue your point in a heated debate about taking the friendship to the next level, the only person who stands to get hurt is the one who has the expectations apart from the initial understanding.

Side stepping on that truth is what has us pissed off when we see our wannabe Romeo arm and arm with another chick in a sailor suit threatening to rock the boat we swore we had anchored at our dock.

Even worse, don’t be surprised if you were hanging on for years and he up and marries a woman he just met a couple months ago, who as the saying goes, is “everything you’re not” to him or just somehow made an impression in an hour that you had spent months trying imprint on him.

Whether a man means what he says or is just playing hard to get, the only thing that can come from taking a risk like dating a “friend” is the ladder of potential hurt that stems from assuming it’s all in the bag when we’re figuring that we’ve got the “stuff” that he needs to make him change his heart on the situation.

Remember, men usually know what they want and rarely pass on their desires to let someone else have a chance at their target. PREACH! Men know exactly what it is they want, if a man sees you as a “diamond” and believes everything about you is beautiful….why would he want to keep you on the market for other men to have the opportunity to see your beauty? With no title people are still available to search for other options. Don’t assume and prolong a deadend situation.

Don’t give the obligation you have to your heart to someone who doesn’t want to be in your heart or protect it from pain.

When they say they’re not interested in a relationship they’re letting you know that either they’re not ready for love, or you’re not the love they’re ready for or interested in. Either way, hope for the best..and prepare for the worst.

It’s not our duty to wait on them. It’s our right to be chosen. So if he says he’s just a friend, then it is your job to protect your feelings and keep it that way.

For those of you who think a relationship is between a person and their significant other, I am here to tell you that you are wrong.  Keep up with the times, people!  You are wrong, wrong, wrong. 

Recent events have shown me that a relationship is no longer just between a couple.  Instead, a relationship is now between a couple and their facebook friends.  Distant cousins, past flings, your best friend from middle school’s mother and your co-workers are privy to the details and inner workings of your coupledom.  

Anniversaries are marked with status updates.  Engagements announced through relationship statuses.  Tagged pictures document first kisses, Scrabble matches, and meeting the family.  Photo comments let you and everyone else know that your significant other was spending their time looking at pictures of you.  Messages and chat keep you connected while apart.  Facebook now serves as a gauge for measuring the health and longevity of a relationship to your 314 friends.

This truth was never more evident to me than it was last week.  It was late Friday afternoon and I decided to check facebook before logging off of my work computer and calling it a day.  In my news feed, I saw that the person I had been dating for the  last 4 months had posted a music video to their facebook wall.  I had a spare minute, so I clicked play to see what youtube video had tickled his fancy.  He had posted “I Changed My Mind” by Lyrics Born.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oL4fG3TIMdc  The song and video are about ending a relationship.  By the time I had finished watching the music video, my sister, best friend and the then boyfriend’s mother had all had time to post comments on the link.  So, to sum it up…  I was dumped via a youtube music video posted to facebook (now how many people can say that?).  Annnnd, friends, family and acquaintances were told about my relationship’s end before I was. 

OH! And did I mention that this was the day before my birthday?

It is only the struggle for justice that truly makes one responsible. Until then we are simply treading water, hoping that the waves will not overwhelm us. This is life under Capitalism where we are doomed to perpetual adolescence and immaturity, where the ultimate concern is: what’s going to happen to me? This is the kind of shrunken, stunted life that is held up for our emulation.

honestly, i hate this thing called high school. not because the people in it are bad. but because i just don’t fit in. i’m not any worse or better than any high schooler… i’m just out-of-place. and it hurts my heart. i long to be know. i long to belong. but it’s hard with such a great disconnect. when spiritually i’m at a very different level from everyone else. when socially i’m at a very different level from everyone else.

and walking into a room… or school…or church where no one understands what you’re talking about… hurts. or where what’s being said by your peers you know isn’t true. where just sitting there, listening to others speak breaks your heart. where you don’t feel at home in the only place that could be home. when you just want heart but all you hear is words. i’m a misfit. big time.

man it sucks to have no friends. but i’d rather have no true friends than 20 surfacey-fake relationships. I want real. I want penetrating, life-changing love.

mature people. leaders. older people. are a breath of fresh air. knowing you’re accepted and wanted by them is awesome. it’s healing. their faith strengthens mine. their mindfulness of me helps me to understand how much God cares for me. Their faithfulness. Their love. Their hugs. Their time. Their gas. Their love. Their acceptance. Wow. I love mature people. I love maturity. I love communication. I love real love.

immature old people… make my heart hurt. but they just help you grow. grow closer to the Lord.

as affected as i am by all these people. i gotta remember that God is good, all the time. God is the relationship that matters. God will “talk to me.” if i listen. God will help me deal with people my age. God will pull me through this storm. This mess. This discomfort. This pain. Through my mistakes. Through my losses. Through my wins.

But my ultimate joy should be in Christ. There is no real joy in worldly things. Only everlasting joy in God.

I want more and more fellowship with Christ. I need Him. SO MUCH. like unbelievably so. i don’t even know how much i need Him. but im sure He does.

My Glorious. I love you. No matter where i am. You loved me. Thanks God.

fitting in with God,

coop

A conversation I had with my Uncle Sean a few weeks ago has been stuck in my head. We were talking about dreams, goals and prayer which lead to a discussion of God’s will and what that really means.

I know that God’s will isn’t a yellow brick road that you magically find, skip along and end up meeting the wizard. I believe that God’s will is found in the small, seemingly inconsequential decisions that reveal our true character and faith. This is where the daily struggle is found. This is why we can’t wait til the big decision to invite God into the equation, by then it’s too late.

With this definition of God’s will, the verse “God will give us the desires of our heart” has a whole new meaning. We read the whole verse to see that our dreams come true when we delight in him.

But Uncle Sean took it a step further when he said we place the emphasis on the wrong part of that verse. God will GIVE US the desires of our heart. It doesn’t mean we create those dreams it means that he gives the dreams to us when we delight in him. It isn’t about us at all. They aren’t technically our dreams, they are his that he places in our heart when we’re in tune with him.

Ewwww! That throws a monkey wrench into my prayers. See I have been pestering God for months about where I should live. What should I do with my life. Will I ever get married? Are kids in my future at all? He cares about these things because he cares about me, but that isn’t the point.

My life thus far has been consumed with the wrong things. In part, my restlessness has been because I was praying for the wrong things. My old pastor always said that God cares about our character not our career.

Today, during the sermon, our pastor was talking about how God doesn’t play second fiddle  to our flesh (desires, ambitions, and sins). Ouch! God’s will for us isn’t about careers, job, marriage but who he is shaping us to be. The story he is telling through our lives is about emptying us of our junk, maturing us, and building relationships as He uses us to help others on their journey.

So, I am smack in the middle of God’s will when I’m uncomfortable, stretched and beyond myself. A.k.a living in Ohio, navigating the wake of my parent’s divorce and struggling to finally put my childhood to rest. Yea fun. But necessary. This isn’t just a detour, but is a major part of what God is doing in me. I need to face these things. I need to grow in ways that only these situations will allow. God fully intended for me to traverse this path to get where he wants to take me.

So its not about rules, self-righteousness, playing church, appearances, approval from others,  or any host of other things that fall outside of the realm of what God is trying to do in and through us.  But God can’t take us to where he wants us to go unless we submit everything to him. That’s the kicker. Stay with me.

We have to surrender our dreams, goals, and ambitions. It is part of the refining process he wants to do in our lives. He needs to mature us. God wants us to be whole. He doesn’t want us to be stuck in the past with our hurts, destructive patterns, fears, and wrong ideas. The sermon today was about God’s maturing process. How he moves us forward. The fruits of the spirit are evidence of a mature heart. They aren’t something we are given at salvation. They are something we are continually working on as we grow in Christ, grow in love, grow in maturity.

So rather than pray about where to live, what job to take in order to get where God wants me to go I need to pray about what I need to learn, where I can grow and what he’s trying to show me. Through these things my course in life will be revealed. That almost sounded like a fortune.

But it gives new focus to my prayers. It also returns my focus to my relationship with God instead of trying to make him a genie. I think that is what God cares about more than how much I miss California. He misses me. What a concept. God loves me so much he wants to spend time with me. He longs for me. He desires my attention. God wants me. Sitting with that notion is humbling, comforting, and peaceful.

Yet I know God is willing to let the tough times come. He will put me in the wilderness. He will lead me through the fire. He will do what it takes to help me put my flesh to death so that more and more of Christ shines through me. We have to die to ourselves. We have to live in the freedom of our salvation. But that doesn’t mean we get what we think we want. It means we’re willing to let all of that go and embrace the journey God has us on that includes the wilderness, the dry times, the times when he seems silent. There is a point to all of it, it really isn’t about torturing us. It’s about us pursing him and those things that are important to him.

Lots to digest. It feels like I’ve heard these things all my life yet separately not together. They were disjointed thoughts that have been crystallizing over the past few weeks (years apparently here was a message I heard nearly two years ago about this same thing, kind of). Maybe he’s tired of my prayers. Or maybe this is my answer to those prayers. Not sure. Haven’t gotten that far.

But at the end of the day I’ve learned its more important than ever to live in the moment. Be grateful for what is and not wish it away. I need to suck the joy and pain out of every circumstance because there is a point to it that makes me more of who God wants me to be. I am becoming. I am in process. I am in progress.

This doesn’t mean I stop dreaming or setting goals it just means that as I get closer to God my dreams might change or they’ll become clearer and doors for them to come true will open. Because our pastor also reminded us that it is as we growth that God can open new options. As we mature we can move beyond the childish things that used to occupy our time, namely ourselves.

See God’s Word and psychology do line up. Emotional maturity is characterized by the ability to be other-centered and belief in something bigger than ourselves. All truth is God’s truth regardless of where it comes from because he is the author of it. But that is another post

Ok this is a lot to process. These are the things rambling around in my brain. Welcome to the chaos and insanity.

Because of immaturity, I am in bed crying rather than sleeping. I lost one of the most special friends of my life; it has been 1 1/2 to  2 years since we’ve last spoken and it pangs at my heart that we lost our friendship. I haven’t let go yet because I hope we’d rekindle; I am probably far from reality. It was my fault that I ceased all communications with you. It was also because I was too immature to handle the situation. I wish I could blast back to the past to change what I did because I have been missing your friendship nonstop. Time around this year really hurts me; I attempted to reach out to you around the time of my birthday and received a flat- out rejection. I hoped so badly that our friendship could pick up from where we last left off. We always did that. I always thought that our friendship had a remote button that we could hit pause or play at any time of day. Were you too fed up with it? I probably would have been too, if I were in your shoes.

Is it time that I finally let the hopes of our friendship burn to the grave?

You probably have no idea how regretful I feel, and how much I miss you.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Senior Ad Picture with most of everyone

So I don’t particularly like the writings and worldviews of Ralph Waldo Emerson or Henry David Thoreau because of their existentialist point of view, but I must admit they have some pretty darn good quotes when you look at them.

Anyway. Back to advocating “be yourself” I do post a lot of these quotes, but I feel like it is a constant struggle throughout your life, not just being a teenager, but in adulthood you’re faced with choices that make you challenge your character or morals. More so, being an adult your choices can have greater impacts on yourself and others than while you’re a teenager.

Another point I’d like to touch on is being yourself in relationships. I’ve seen people change their personalities, their habits, and their opinions when getting involved in relationships. I’ve had best friends disappear because of their partner. I’ve always been wary of relationships for that reason, because it is easy to get caught up in another person, it’s easy to drop everything and just be with them, and it’s easy to want to make them happy. I’ve never been one to lose who I am because I’m in a relationship but there’s always a first for everything. Dating someone older or younger is hard too – particularly older. I know who I am, but I have a little self-confidence issue. I am a mature person, but I’m also 19. I like to goof around, I don’t take some things as seriously as I should, and I’m a little selfish. I am who I am, and I like who I am. I don’t want to have to watch myself every minute, censor my thoughts or what I want to say. I want to be able to do or say something without thinking about getting a wrong reaction or thinking that they might think less of me because of it.

Senior Prom 2009 in front of the limo before dinner. Not everyone is here again. lol It's hard to get a picture of ALL of us

Overall I’ve found that the easiest way to be yourself is to find friends who like you for who you are. They know you and they accept everything – conflicting viewpoints, immaturity, fights, all of it. Find friends who will call you out on your bullshit, ones that will get into trouble with you instead of scolding you for doing it, find friends who will look out for you. I’ve said it before but my friends are the best.

Question: What is your favorite memory with your friends?

Jack

Do you want to know the absolute truth? I hate Halloween.

I do have an excuse, mind you. You see, Halloween use to be my second favorite holiday, behind only Christmas (of course). However, as time has gone by and I’ve aged, I’ve suddenly found Halloween is no longer for me. Instead, it’s for little kids who pound on your door and demand that you give them free food or else they will commit a criminal act upon your house.

As a child I remember doing horrible things to the houses that didn’t give out candy. My acts of terrorism ranged from urinating on their roses to destroying their pumpkins with my then-sized six boot. If I do that now I’ll be arrested, and rightfully so! Now that I am an adult and responsible (I define responsibility in a different way than Websters) I am forced to sit in my house and stew, patiently waiting for the pounding sound of a child-terrorist so that we may begin negotiations on how much loot they will be plundering from my… err, bounty?

My point with all of this is simple: I am jealous. Yes, yes, I am incredibly jealous of the fact I can no longer run around like a vampire, stomping on pumpkins, pissing on rose bushes, and forcing innocent civilians to deck my halls with snickers, milky way, and those nasty yellow Jolly Ranchers that tasted like a lemons ass. Granted, I could do all of those things, but society would judge me as immature. So instead I’ll sit at home, drink massive quantities of alcohol, and watch It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.

-Irish

The Dominica photo contest has become the travel world’s equivalent of free samples at Whole Foods.

Earlier this week, Francisco and I stopped at Whole Foods on Union Square to have a quick lunch. It was a cold day so we decided to have some soup. He ladled out a small cup of New England clam chowder for himself and then prepped a container of split pea for me. Meanwhile, a couple made their way around the entire selection of soups, dipping sample cups into each of the 10 or 12 steamy vats of chowders and stews. “Damn,” he said, “by the time they finish sampling they won’t need to buy anything because they will have had a whole meal.”

Plus dessert…because later we see them pushing in front of other freebie loving customers to snatch some brownie bites. “Please,” an employee said, “just respect each other.”

*

It’s 12:47 AM. Francisco, who had a flu shot earlier today, is sleeping off its nauseating side effects. I’d hoped to take advantage of the late night quiet to catch up on some writing–the next round of features for my second Fodor’s guidebook assignment is due next Tuesday–but our 5 week old daughter has startled awake, wide-eyed and bloated with gas. I take her in my arms and sit her on my lap, massaging her belly. Before waking up again with the red, furrowed face that breaks my heart, she falls asleep for a few minutes.

I make the mistake of checking e-mail.

No fewer than five messages in as many minutes from one of the Dominica photo contest semi-finalists, who’s complaining (again) that another contestant is rigging the vote and gaming the system:

“I really am upset and crazed over this…” “I do not think Matador Pulse wants to be known for running unfair contests.”

Sigh. I go to the kitchen for a late night bowl of cereal and come back to the keyboard with my muesli to moderate the contest comments. Eighteen comments. Two or three folks who wonder what’s so special about #14. Some who wonder what’s so special about #10. A few who wonder what’s special about #10 OR #14, neither of which–according to them–epitomize adventure, which was, after all, the contest prompt. Barbs traded among contestants and commenters about who’s gaming who and (presumably) how.

The baby cries again.

“Honest to Pete, I don’t need this shit,” I think to myself as I pick up my daughter and rock her in my arms, looking out the window of my apartment at the lights dotting apartment windows in Manhattan. I imagine contestants and commenters hunched over their own keyboards for hours, the glow of a computer screen the only light on in their homes at this hour… all because of a trip to Dominica. I like free as much as the next person, but not when it divides me from other people and brings out my basest instincts and behavior.

*

I’m slightly comforted by the fact that this kind of immaturity–this burning need to win something for free, ironically, whatever the cost–isn’t unique to the Dominica contest. Just check out the comment thread on this World Nomads photography contest… which may be even more inflammatory.

*

The last comment I moderate before getting into bed at 4 AM is from someone named ‘julia’:

“Personally, I think all of the photos are good and many are phenomenal! I would like to see the adults in this contest act like adults! The contest says vote for your favorite, no need to slander anyone else’s photo, and over a free trip! Ridiculous!! Grow up, ‘girls’!”

Any emotional situation that takes us out of the present and into the past means that whenever the same kind of emotion crops up later in our life we return to the past for our reference point. If that point was at age three, we find ourselves behaving like a three-year-old. We feel childish and we behave childishly. Even worse, we condemn ourselves for being stupid or immature and through our mental self-talk; reinforce the problem while desperately searching for a solution.

Whenever we feel deeply stressed our brain and body goes into a fight or flight response. It’s good if we can actually fight or run away, but most times we just freeze emotionally. Our ‘frozen feelings’ are the cause of this ‘glitch’ in our learning process. We know we should be able to make a positive change, but that doesn’t change anything. With a sense of helplessness we fear the future and self-doubt rules our lives.

The process of change need not be traumatic. We need to understand that whatever pain we experienced in the past because of which we made certain choices, were the only recourse we had at the time. We couldn’t have done any better because we didn’t know how to. But we should realize that was then and this is now! We can get help from trained professionals and learn to unblock the negative emotions fused in our past that affect our positive future. We can choose to choose again. It’s up to us. It’s our movie!  -The Times of India

The writer is the co-founder, AJNA Centre for Learning, Pune.  E-mail: ajnacenter@yahoo.com.  Website: www.ajnacenter.com

The time had come to meet his friends. 

I had been hounding N about introducing me to his friends  for the last couple of weeks or really ever since he met my friends and family.  I was curious to know who he chose to spend his time with.  So after a couple months of dating, N invited me to join him and a couple of his friends for drinks in Ballard.  I knew one of his female friends, J,  was going to be there and I was looking forward to meeting her, since I had heard numerous stories about her and of all his friends, he seemed to spend quite a lot of time with her.

Really, there would be no point in me blogging about this if things had gone off without a hitch.  Sooo onto the nitty gritty.

I walked into the bar and spotted N sitting at a table with J and two of her out of town friends.  As I approached the table and N stood to greet me, the girls unabashedly formed a semi-huddle and whispered over their beers with their eyes glued on me.  N introduced me and I shook each of their hands.  I told J that I was happy to meet her and she said the same.  And that’s the first and last thing she said to me for the three hours that I was in her company.  Frankly, for the rest of the night J threw a tantrum via body language about my presence.

After awkwardly surviving three hours of trial by fiery bitch, N and I called it a night and left the bar.  As we were driving away, I made a comment about J’s attitude.  I was relieved that N also felt like J had been all sorts of unpleasant towards me that evening.  He said that J is normally “protective” of him.  I scoffed at this.  I’ve been known to be protective of my guy friends in the past.  However, “protective” to me does not translate to standoffish bitch.  If I’m protective of someone, I’d care to get to know the person that s/he was dating, so I can see if they measure up to my standards for my friend.  I’d want to know if they deserved my friend’s company and I couldn’t achieve that by being rude.  Protective?  No.  Jealous?  Hell yes, she is. 

N mentioned J’s bitchy treatment to her the next day, she agreed that she had “her bitch pants on,” but since she was drunk the conversation didn’t go further.  Since when do 25-year-old women find it appropriate and acceptable to be blatantly rude and bitchy to someone they’ve never met?  I wonder if J knows that she isn’t helping her friend or really anyone but herself by giving me the cold shoulder.  Juvenile to the nth degree.

J, honey, being a bitch should not be confused for being cute.  Bitchiness does not translate to personality or spark.  Your insecurity and immaturity are a waste of my time. 

Once again, I feel incredibly fortunate to have people in my life who are level headed, open minded, gracious and kind.  You are friends.  Thank you.

The life of a adolescent is hard.
It’s even harder when you go to a white middle class school.
When your beliefs are completely different.
Your opinions are opposite.
Your thoughts are weird compared to theirs.
Your feelings are unrelated.
And your head is spinning uncontrollably.

In one moment-
The drama is started once your head is turned once.
The rumors runs out of someones mouth.
The tension fills the halls.
The teacher are looked upon as dummies.
The people are befriended.
And a person is stabbed in the back,
feeling alone and unworthy of them self.