A wonderful guest post brought to you by Gnomeaggedon and Blog Azeroth. Enjoy!

I’m a patient kind of guy…

No really I am!

• I’m the kind of guy that’s happy to stop at the amber traffic light rather than racing it.
• I’m the kind of guy that is happy to give up the last car parking space on Xmas eve to go looking for another one for an hour or two.
• I’m the kind of guy that doesn’t knock grannies out of the way in a supermarket when a new checkout opens… I might as well stay where I am, I will get out eventually.
• I’m the kind of guy that get freaking pissed off when 8 random instances NEARLY start… but one person doesn’t click ready.

Why are you not ready?

You are a tank, you know you will get an invite as soon as you join… why join if you aren’t ready?
Was it you that joined 3 times, or was it you and two of your spanky tanky mates?

Why are you not ready?

DPS being not ready at 1st glance is pure stupidity… they waited 20 minutes THEN decided they weren’t ready?

On closer inspection it’s understandable… you fell asleep at the keyboard waiting, or couldn’t cross your legs any longer, or your Mum called you to bed… or, well there are a million reasons why.

The Inpatient

Squidly is already going 1/2 insane with the new LFG insto-PuG interface. I am hanging somewhere between relieving myself in empty Carlton Draught stubbies and slamming the ESC button and quitting out of WoW.

It is quickly sending my insane.

I used to be able to handle waiting in LFG for an hour or two for a raid or an instance, because I knew I could do something completely different while I waited… battlegrounds!

I know the very mention of battlegrounds sends some people into an anaphylactic shock, but for me, it is the perfect tension and boredom relief.

• PuGs getting you down… go kill some Horde.
• Quests becoming way too monotonous… go kill some Horde.
• No one studying your T7.5 armor on the Dalaran bank steps anymore? … go kill some Horde.
• Haven’t got the requisite 10,000 gearscore or the Hard mode achievements on day 2 of the patch release… go kill some Horde.

Now Squidly has it hard… there is no time to ponder the unfairness of it all (generally), click join queue and the invite is starring him in the nose.

Gnomeaggedon is a different story.

No matter how often he tries to check the ITANKIT! or IMHEALZ! options, he is always just lowly DPS, waiting at the back of the queue.. wondering if he is even in the right queue, but too scared to leave it because he will lose his place.

So boredom… can’t do BGs while I wait.. can’t even fish in the big raid pond, just have to wait until a tank and a healer both join the queue so 3 more DPS will leave.

Maybe Blizzard don’t realize this, but you should never let a Mage get bored… definitely don’t let a Fire Mage get bored.  Even twiddling our fingers has drastic results.. cause you know we twiddle our fingers right before the Fireballs explode from our finger tips.

Gnomer does Origami

Gnomeaggedon once took up Origami, but the very act of folding the pieces of paper represented an Arcane Blast…

Paper meet Arcane Blast…
Arcane Blast meet dust….

I don’t even have that spell on my tool bar!

yeah so anyway… I think I am just bored…

I have spent 5 days waiting for Internet to be connected at my new home… 5 days of being forced to watch free to air TV.  I probably should have gone to the Melbourne Town hall and showed off my latest Blundstones (http://www.blundstone.com/)...

I really can’t wait to get this blog started. I had a blog like this once, but it failed and I completely ignored it. I hope this one will be different. It would be terrible if I ignored this one as well. Third time is NOT the charm.

I figured since it’s almost the new year, that I would start anew. Let’s hope this New Year’s Resolution will be fulfilled. I don’t exactly know too many people who make resolutions and actually stick with them. Let’s surmise that I actually am one of those people.

I just realized my first blog like this one only lasted for exactly two weeks. I fail epically, don’t I?

Written 12. 20. 09

What am I doing? Where am I going? What is next for me? I am on the pinnacle of life, I am on top of the world, looking down at my future, I have everything in my grasp. I am almost an adult, and I am teetering on the uncertain edge of What Is Next. I am ready to fall at the slightest provocation, a  gentle tap will send me hurtling into my future, and I, I do not think I am ready. No, I am ready, too ready, overripe. I am ready to be plucked from my childhood and tossed into something different. I am ready to be made something of. But. I wait. I am still perched on that high mountain top, balancing precariously between my childhood and my adulthood. I am waiting. For what? I don’t know. Perhaps I will find it in Germany. But what will I find in Germany? I have no idea. I am scared. But I am exhilarated; the rush of not knowing is what makes this ride so worth it. I know I will find something totally different, unexpected, and the thrill of that sends me running towards it, arms outstretched, with a child-like enthusiasm. I am ready. Yes, I am ready, but I am waiting.

But GOD. I hate the waiting. It is the part that kills me. I am stuck in limbo. I love it, but I hate it. I cannot wait to rip myself away from home, my house, and fly a place where I have absolute independence, control, freedom. I need it. I cannot stay here; it will smother me. But to leave the people I love so dearly? My dearest friends, who have become family, that is the part that I cannot bear to think of. They make my small, insignificant life something brighter and more beautiful than I could have ever dreamed up. I am so thankful for them. If I were to list them all, it would take so many posts, for so many people. My words cannot describe how lovely these souls are. I have found my angels on earth. I wait for them. I exist, because they surround me. I am, because they are.

And so. Waiting. What now? I have so much in my future, so much to look forward to. But I need to remember my present. This limbo. Someday I will look back on this waiting time, and if I have nothing to remember, then I have wasted my time here. There is so much good to remember about this waiting time, mixed up with the bad, but if I pick those shiny, beautiful pieces out of the mud, and brush them off and shine them up, then I will have a bag full of gems to remember this waiting time by. I suppose, after some reflection, that I am content with where I am. I am potential energy, saving myself for what is to come. Thank you, waiting time, for teaching me patience. I needed the lesson tonight.

“Women get the last word in every arguement. Anything a man says after that is a new arguement.” Anonymous

This is a bit of a doosey isn’t it?

 Where men will barely notice their women (perfections or imperfections) men’s errors, lapses in judgement and imperfections seem to rate under the Richter scale for irritation. Women will analyse and magnify any imperfection their man or a man close to them has performed and have no conscience at all about giving him what for over it.
Let’s take a look at the list of errors men make that are hated by women. These are not in any particular order:
1. Putting their clothes etc in the wrong place when the house is clean
2. Not ‘appreciating’ dinner
3. Thinking your day was worse than hers
4. Reminding her of her father
5. Reminding her of your father
6. Not noticing she had her hair done
7. Getting upset when you found out how much it cost to get her hair done
8. Thinking her best friend is horrible when the best friend is in the good books.
9. Thinking her best friend is lovely when the best friend is in the bad books.
10. Sitting down and relaxing when she is still busy with things that don’t need to be done.
Some of these aren’t even character flaws.
Part of the problem of course, is that both men and women have built men up. They’re supposed to be “hunters” , most excited when they’re out there making lots of money or gathering up heard of wilder beast for dinner so they can bring it all home panting in sweaty thrill of having provided. Because no man is ever this creature, could ever be this creature or has ever been this creature, the stay home wife who is doing her best to “act naturally” and care for the cave, is pissed off to high heaven when you cut work early, had a drink with the boys in front of the football at a topless bar.
It is every single time a man falls short of the illusive ideal, that the woman gets endlessly, relentlessly shitty. And when the ideal is unobtainable, it happens pretty often.
In romance novels, the women have designed the men according to spec. These men are the ‘real’ men. The men women keep being told over and over existed all those years ago, the men that are supposedly at the genetic throbbing heart of every walking talking male today. Not those poor lost souls struggling to keep up with an ideal they can never hope to attain.

As I listened to a human message about agape love, that unconditional and perfect love of God, the Lord added His message to my heart.  The preacher encouraged us to love with agape love those people who are not yet saved, are not in right relationship with the Lord, or are even out of relationship with us.  If we live this love, we were promised, they will have to come around sometime, even if it’s in the distant future, because love never fails¹.

I moved from there with Holy Spirit while He took me down a different path from the one on which I had just traveled.  Love never fails is the Word of God, so it is Truth².  Not only is the Greek word for love in this reference agape, but in another reference, God is love³, the Greek word used is also agape.  God, Himself, is the agape love that never fails.  He doesn’t just have it, and He doesn’t just love with it.  He is this very love!

I then thought of many people who have never turned their lives around, as far as we know, nor have they been restored to family, despite friends and family members praying faithfully and loving them as best they could.  Did love fail?  Agape love never fails.  How, then, do we reconcile our experiences that appear contrary to the Truth of the Bible?

Since God is this agape love, He loves every person perfectly, regardless of their deeds or words.  He never messes up by saying or doing the wrong thing that moves them farther away, nor is He impatient with slow, or seemingly non-existent, progress.  Yet, even in His perfect love, people all over the world are not restored to family and friends, or end up in hell by refusing to repent and receive His love.  Has agape failed?  Has God failed?  Absolutely not!  Love will never fail!  What have failed are our man-made, man-determined, expectations.  If God loving perfectly (and patiently) doesn’t always bring about His desired change in others, our imperfect (and often impatient) efforts at living agape love for others certainly won’t.  How can we make sense of it all?

We need to understand the expectations we have had in these so-called failed cases.  We expected if we showed God’s love, we would get our will for someone else because we know it’s God’s will, too.  What we have failed to grasp is that, in His unlimited wisdom, plan, and perfect agape love, God created each of us with a free will, and He does not override those wills – ever –  even when those wills end up leading to eternal death in hell, forever separated from Him and His love.  Even in that outcome, love hasn’t failed.  Agape made the way for that person (and every other) to be reconciled to God’s love for all eternity, through Jesus Christ.  With His blood, Jesus paid the price so we could know this amazing love, even for those who would never accept it.  No, that love never fails.  It never has and it never will.

Where does this leave us, with regards to the wandering ones?  Since God so loves them, even as He so loves us, we continue allowing His love to grow in us and show through us so that all around us are exposed to His wonderful, perfect love.  The difference now is that we have removed our limiting human expectations about the outcome, for love never fails!

¹ 1 Corinthians 13:8

² John 17:17

³ 1 John 4:8 & 16

Well, I am now totally “out of the closet” at work, in the family and with friends, which feels good!

But just as I thought the morning sickness was fading a little it seems to have reared its head again – I felt terrible all day yesterday. However, I’m starting to think it might have been connected to not drinking enough water… I usually drink water all day at work but didn’t have much to drink yesterday, and today, as I started feeling a bit peculiar again, I started drinking and it seems to have kept it at bay. So, maybe I have a bit of a strategy from now on!

It’s also worth reporting that I had my swine flu jab last week - at 13 weeks pregnant. The jab itself was fine - my arm ached like crazy that night though and if I wasn’t pregnant I would definitely have been reaching for the pain killers! It’s still a bit sore a few days later, but nothing too bad. I feel glad that I’ve had the jab now as I’m protected and don’t have to worry when I hear horror stories about women dying in labour or after having emergency sections.

Aside from that, there’s not much new to report, suppose I am just getting impatient to start feeling kicks now… although it will likely still be a few weeks yet. I have my 20 week scan at the end of January, and I think with the excitement of Christmas and Lilly’s second birthday that is going to arrive so quickly… and then I’ll be half way through the pregnancy!!!! Quite scary really, and I think time is just going to fly by…

I have an appointment with the consultant in between Christmas and New Year where hopefully we’ll be able to discuss the birth – both Lilly’s and the one I want this time. To be honest, I have a bit of a fear about this birth – and a bit of a realisation this morning that this might get worse as time goes on. I suppose the crux of the matter is I really, really want a VBAC. But I’m so scared that I won’t be able to do it – that when it comes to the crunch I won’t have the determination or resolve to birth naturally, that they’ll offer me an “easy way out” and I’ll take it. Do I really want it as much as I think I do? Can I be strong enough? Can I cope with the pain and the pushing and everything? Will i get the support I need or will I be unlucky and end up with a horrible midwife who isn’t encouraging and doesn’t help me?

And on the practical side – will they want me strapped down on a monitor, unable to move around and help things along naturally? Will they start messing with me too early on then put me on this stupid “time restriction” by which I must’ve reached a certain dilation or they threaten me with more intervention or surgery?

This time the birth feels like such an uncertainty – something that I perhaps have little or no control over. If the baby is breach, they’ll be telling me to have an elective section. If the baby is overdue, likewise.

I haven’t thought all that much about the birth yet, but as you can see, when I do, I feel a bit overwhelmed with worries. It wasn’t like this with Lilly at all – I just trusted that all would be fine, and it never crossed my mind that I’d have a section, let alone under a general anaesthetic. I really don’t want that again – I just want to be normal!

You know how we love everything Finnish here, so we had to feature a new artist named Anna Abreu. She was a runner-up for Finnish Pop Idol and managed to conjure up enough of a fanbase to release three full-length albums. Her latest, Just A Pretty Face? includes this ballad. Enjoy.

OOh, What a big eye you have Mr. Devil!

Well, I’m so busy writing I’ve not had chance to update the blog. Not even on a Friday, would you believe? Still waiting for that all important news. What the devil that is – I will let you know as soon as I hear. But like most people I want things NOW!

I’m SO impatient! Not at all virtuous of me, huh?

Not much point to this post apart from letting you know I am still alive and buried under a pile of edits…

Jolly hockey sticks, everyone!

Impatient, but Alive, Angelika X

I love how simply this was written and is something for us all to reflect upon.  Ask yourself after reading, Does it stretch your ability to trust in his protection? 

Here are some scriptures to read: John 10:34 – 11:27 and Psalm 40:1-3.

Today’s INSIGHTS:
A pair of scientists and botanists were exploring in the Alps for some special kind of flowers. One day they spied through their field glass a flower of rare beauty. But it was in a ravine with perpendicular cliffs on both sides. Someone must be lowered over the cliff to get it.
A native boy was watching. They said to him, “We will give you five pounds if you will let us lower you into the valley to get the flower.” The boy looked into the valley and said, “Just a moment. I’ll be back.” He soon returned with a man, “I’ll go over the cliff,” he said, “and get the flower for you if this man holds the rope. He’s my dad.” Have we learned to trust the Lord as this little boy did his father?
Sometimes we find ourselves putting our confidence in man and what we think he can do for us. But man can let us down. Man can disappoint us. Not so the Lord. Needs may be pressing in but we can look up, trusting an all-wise, all-loving God to do all for our good and His glory.
We can trust the rope of our circumstances to Him. Man may become weary and let the rope drop; or he may be distracted or become impatient. But God never wearies of holding the rope. We can confidently leave it in His strong hand.
-Millie Stamm

Patience doesn’t seem to be working…..

but whining usually doz.

Picture by: dunno source Caption by: kaeaea via Advanced Lol Builder

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Dear December 11th,

Where are you? I have been waiting three months for you to show up. I would appreciate it if you would hurry.

Impatient and annoyed,

Chelsea

******

Dear Sickness-that-has-infected-me-for-two-weeks,

Go away. You are not welcome here.

Armed with more vitamin C then I can consume,

Chelsea

*********

Dear School,

I loathe you and all of the work you require of me. I can’t wait to be far away for three whole weeks. And in June I’m leaving you for good. Without looking back.

Lost in a black hole of work,

Chelsea

*******

Dear Home,

I can’t wait to see you again. Our quick rendezvous over Thanksgiving was such a tease. Soon I will be back for three weeks. Three weeks of fun, without school looming over my head.  You better be ready.

Yours in anticipation,

Chelsea

Sometimes, when I think about the fact that I am single at 25… I get soo mad.  I know it’s ridiculous to get upset, I’m suppose to be the one trusting God and His timing, but there are times where I wonder if there is something wrong with me that I can’t see.  It makes my life to hear about all my married friends, my younger brothers married friends, the engagements, the baby showers!!!!!  This is obviously not the normal poetry style found on this site, just a out and out rant.  25 and single.  It’s perpetual!  Lots of guys with good intentions (and a scary multitude without them) and I can’t locate one guy willing to take the time.  It’s ridiculous sometimes.  If I was Catholic, I’d join the nunnery!  I guess wish I knew for sure I was going to be single for the rest of my life, then I’d stop hoping I’d meet the right guy.  I could be content with being single if I was sure that was the way I was to go.  I hate having the longing for marriage in my heart and not finding a decent Christian guy to rectify my situation.  I am complaining, I know… I just can’t stop that voice in the back of my head that says “There is no hope, might as well be a career woman and give up on the possibility of having a husband or a family. Sigh”  Yeah sigh is right.  Here is where a great poem crops up…

I swear, my mind thinks of the possibility of  a hand to hold

Children to run around me

And then I remember, I am by myself

Always have been

I am there to hold me

I wonder at what’s wrong with me

Too tall, too wide, too confident

What I really think is

I am just not enough for someone to love

So, that’s when I love myself

And let God love me

Currently I am looking up videos, pictures and photos from inbounds and rebounds (current and previous exchange students), and I am getting really impatient. I wanna go NOW! But I can’t. It’s quite sad actually.

I’ve also found that I really wanna go to Japan too, so I guess I’ll try to organize another exchange whenever I’m done with my exchange to USA. I just really want to take some Japanese lessons beforehand, but they are rare in Denmark. I hope to be able to get it as a subject for high school in USA next year!

There isn’t really much else to say. I’m exploring the blog community here on the internet and being reluctant about going to bed, even though it’s just past midnight and I have school tomorrow. Oh, by the way, do you like the top banner? I totally made it myself \o/

Last night I realised how impatient I have become.  It was the first time in a while that I was with the kids alone.  So, the situation was dire, as I was beteen a numb mounth and the feeling coming back into my very sensitive gums after a dentist visit (I will not even get strated on this, another time, another blog).  Add fatique to that.

At first, everything was going well.  I was sitting down, relaxing after a very long day.  My sons was asleep, he falls asleep in the afternoon after I collect them from school.  I leave him to sleep for an hour and then wake him gently.  The crucial word being gently.  He is just like me, his mood after sleeping is very dependant on the way he is woken.  Only, yesterday, I did not wake him. he either woke by himself, or his sister woke him, as she was in the same room watching TV.  Not that I will ever know the whole thruth.

So needless to say, he was not happy.  He came to sit on my lap and put his head agaisnt my chest, making moaning and irritated sounds.  The more sounds he made, the more irritated I became.  After a few minutes of this, he starts relaxing and finds other things to do.  I start preparing dinner.  I walk past my son, only to hear this muffled sound of discontent.  He wants me to take down the box with his cars for him to play with.  So I calmly explain to him that I will take down the cars if he asks me in the correct way.  He stomps his feet  and makes another sound.

Slightly agitated, I walk back to the kitchen and finish the preparations on my macaroni and cheese dish.  I decide to run a bath for them and then they will be finished once the dish is ready.  I open the bathwater, and start calling their names.    I go outside and take a sip of my coffee.  My daughter is outside, but comes in immedialty when I ask to go bath.  I walk towards the barthroom to close the taps.  Only to find both the children sitting in front of the TV.  I raise my voice and ask them to get into the bath.  My son throws himself around, face to the ground, and starts kicking his legs.  So there I have had it, and I give him a smack on the bum.  My daughter looks at me bright eyed and I ask her if she wants to be next, I asked them to go bath.

After a lot of tears, they are both in the bath.  Now my son cries, his foot is hurting.  I see and hear that there is realy something wrong and see a scar on his foot.  I gently blow air onto it and tell him to calm down in a soft vooice.  I tell him to wash himself quickly, then he can get out of the bath and I will make it feel better.  No chance, he cries louder.  So I feel sorry for him and take the washcloth to wash him.  Then, out of the blue, my daughter starts crying.  She is upset because I am not helping her.  So I realy get upset, and for the nect ten minutes try to make sense of her complaints whilst holding on the the last thread of patience I have.  After dressing my son, putting a plaster on his toe and encouraging my daughter to wash herself, I am at the point of cursing. 

After all of this, my son asks me, in the correct way, to give him his cars.  I smile and think everything will calm down now.  I dish up for them and my heart softens to the point where I agree they may have supper at the table in the playroom.  I set the table for them and my daughter sits down first.  There my son goes, crying because he wants to sit in his sister’s chair.  I feel myself getting worked up, then I take his plate and tell him that he is not hungry if he is complaining about the chair.  He cries louder but stops when I give the plate back to him.  An then, all of a sudden…IT WAS QUIET!

By the time my husband comes home, they were full of energy an all happy.  So I try to have a conversation with my husband, but my son keeps coming in everytime we think we have five minutes to speak.  At this point, I wanted him to sit down, be quiet and play with his toys.  Always thought I would make time for my kids no matter how I was feeling, but I realised after all of this, I am not always the patient mom I proud myself to be.  I am just like other mothers, who would say they need a break from their kids.  Thing is, this only happens once every now and again.  How do single mothers feel, they go through this alone, more often than not?

My respect to all single mothers who hold it together in these times, your strength and courage humbles me!

of This is photo viewing for ADD sufferers, impatient people, and people running late for dinner. One page, one fat wall of photos.

People tell me they really like this element of my photography website; it’s my favorite page as well.  Clicking on a thumbnail reveals the photograph beneath the mosaic, on the same page. From there you can activate a slideshow or go back to the mosaic. You never leave the page.  Personally, I just love having it all right in front of me .

I hope you find  the small amount of time you will need to visit  sarasilver.com and enjoy the “Mosaic Image Wall” .

A special thanks to Dominey Design, Inc. for making and maintaining the terrific “Slideshow Pro for Flash” as well as the “Thumbnail Grid” add-on.  Both are very reasonably priced products which figured heavily in the design and implementation of my (first) site.

I plan to utilize Slideshow Pro products in my future web work.

You can visit them online at slideshowpro.net.

Daniel (S4) from St Benedicts is always on the go, he doesn’t like to be too still or too bored for any amount of time. Like myself, he doesn’t have much patience for sitting drawing analytical observational drawings. Pastel is the perfect medium for this type of artist. Pastels are fast and frantic, they can cover large amounts of area in such a short amount of time, they’re a messy, dusty material and can be fairly easy to control when you have the few simple techniques at your grasp.

Daniel quickly drew out his guidelines in pencil, then darkened them with a piece of vine charcoal. He then threw himself into the background, trying to capture the corrugated iron with simple strokes and smudging.

I really like the white highlights on the hooks in this chalk and charcoal sketch, they make the hooks look heavy and sturdy. The fine linked chains look like they’ll break with the weight of them.

Have you ever wonder why there seemed to be more illnesses these days in comparison to our grandparents’ times?

All of us live in a fast paced, ever evolving society. In fact, Singapore’s pace is considered moderate in comparison with other cosmopolitan cities. Imagine living in Hong Kong or New York City, we won’t even have the time to complain that we are stressed!

Keeping in shape, in my opinion, is not just about maintaining our shell. There are two other factors which are more important and they should go hand-in-hand. I’m sure you have all heard about “Body, Mind and Soul”.

We all know exercises and activities are ways to keep our body in shape. But have you paid attention to your psychological health? Are you happy or aggressive? Do you carry positive or negative vibes mentally? Is your soul in good shape?

Two years back when I was still selling cars, I found my mental wellness being compromised. I was easily irritable, very short-tempered, impatient, suspicious of colleagues around me, and always ready to put up a fight. I basically felt like I was sardines packed in a can, anxiously waiting for the pressure to build up, so that I can explode and drench everyone with the sauce. During those last few years of my car trade career, the number of times I honked at other road users is probably more than the number of cars I sell. Thank god I had the little voice at the back of my mind constantly reminding me to calm myself down. Otherwise you would have seen my face on the front page of national papers, committing road rage.

So what do I do? A group of us enrolled ourselves to do kickboxing. The instructor was a psycho himself, I think. He pushed us to our limits, making us cry for mercy. But after every session, I feel as if the monster in me was too drained to start any fight.

Hot Yoga was another killer. I nearly died. It was a love and hate situation. I hated sit and reach during my school days and was never flexible enough to reach beyond my feet. Imagine how I suffered when I had to bend myself throughout the 26 postures. However, I love how it calms and de-stresses, and I always have a great night’s rest after a session. I was at peace. In fact, it works the body, mind, and soul.

Someone recommended I see a nutritionist and go on a detox program to purge toxins that has been residing in different parts of my body. Apparently, it improves skin condition and quality of sleep, eliminates excess body fats, relieves stress and tension, boasts energy levels, and increases the body’s natural ability to fight diseases. Something I have never tried but would consider if anyone of you out there could educate me more on this subject. One question: Does drinking water with lemon on an empty stomach in the morning count?

People around me could see the improvements in my behavior and appearance when I’m happier and at peace. Going for regular massages and spas, or resort holiday trips helps too. Do not only focus on looking good. We need to put more effort in healing our mind and soul when keeping in shape. A smile goes a long way, and it will always make anyone look beautiful and lovable.

i really need to start saving coz ive been spending my money on junk food. which is damnn unhealthy. yeah right. so much of wanting to lose weight & have hot body. HAHA!

and yes. i cant wait for thursday. coz im dating that guy out. hehe! <3

Tastes better than it looks.

Generally, pies are fairly easy to make and I’m a stickler for trying to do everything from scratch. Since November is not exactly peak season for cherries in Montreal, I had to use canned filled with a few of my own alterations, and while it was still good, I think it could’ve been way better with fresh or even frozen berries. The trickiest part of the recipe is rolling the dough, but even that takes no more than 10 min or so, and from start to finish the total prep time is about 25-30 min max. So, directions below, along with an unattractive but yummy-looking picture to brighten up your Sunday.

Fudgie’s Cherry Pie (Recipe adapted from The Joy of Cooking but modified enough to call my own)

Crust:
2 cups of white flour
2 tablespoons butter
2/3 cup crisco
1/4 – 1/3 cup warm water

Filling:
1.5 cans of Cherry Pie Filling (it pains me to write that! I will re-do this recipe next year when fresh cherries are in season!)
2/3 cup white sugar
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons corn starch
splash of fresh lemon juice

This crust comes out really flaky, dense, rich and delicious. That being said, I’m on the lookout for a slightly lighter tasting version because by your 2nd piece, it can be a little too much (and I love pie crust, so that means it must be super intense if I find it too much). Try to handle the dough as little as possible when mixing it.

To prepare pie filling:

-in a medium bowl, mix together canned pie filling, sugar, cornstarch and fresh lemon juice. Taste to make sure it’s the right level of sweetness/tartness for you, and then set aside for about 15 min while you prepare the dough, to let it thicken.

1. Cut crisco and butter into small 1cm cubes, and mix into the flour mixture with your fingers, until the flour has the consistency of cornmeal or a thick crumble. Spoon in the warm water a bit at a time and mix more, until the dough can be formed together into a large ball. Separate the dough into two balls, one slightly larger than the other, and refridgerate for at least one hour. I personally never do this, with cookie dough either, because I’m rather impatient, but it’s recommended and will make the dough a lot easier to roll.

2. Sprinkle your counter and rolling pin with flour, then place one ball in the middle and begin to roll it out gently into a circle. Try to do as little rolling as possible, but keep at it until your circle of dough is about 1cm wider than your pie plate. Flip the dough into the pie plate.

3. Fill the pie plate 3/4 full, then place small dabs of butter scattered on top of the filling.

4. Roll out 2nd ball of dough into a circle, and place on top of pie as a cover. Pinch the edges of the top and bottom crust so that it is sealed together and looks pretty.

5. Sprinkle white sugar on top and poke steam holes in the top so that heat can escape while the pie is cooking, and it doesn’t explode.

6. Bake at 450 for the first 10 minutes, then reduce heat to 350 and bake another 40 minutes, until crust is golden brown.

7. Remove from oven and let cool fully before attempting to serve. Again, my impatience has been my downfall in this regard many times, and if you serve a pie while it is still piping hot, it will fall apart. See picture above.

Dear Jesus, We are already hungry for Turkey.

And cranberry sauce from a can.

Respectfully,

Mister Diplomat

I had a dream last night. I got a call from the gender clinic, and I was informed that they had reviewed my case, and saw no reason to hold back on giving me hormones. I was good to go. I remember the feeling of relief, the weight being lifted off my shoulder, and how I suddenly felt that I did indeed have a future after all.

Then I woke up.

It’s still about a year until I will know if I’ll get the proper diagnose that will allow me to get hormones. In the meanwhile I continue living in a vacuum. I have been at the gender clinic a few times now, and it feels like a massive waste of time. I have been asked the same questions and given the same speeches from three different people, and I fail to see how progress can be made this way. I’m given “advise” that seem to be rather generic, and not really applicable to my situation. The process certainly has not been helping my situation in any way, so far it just seems to be a matter of jumping through hoops, hoping to one day get a positive outcome. A waste of time and resources.

My status so far is this: I have an all-male wardrobe (apart from sports tops and socks..), not that it matters much since women are allowed to dress however they like. There is some sweet irony in this. If a person who is male assigned at birth put on stuff from the women’s section, it can be considered an expression of gender identity (in the sense that the powers that be will nod and be happy with the effort). If a person who is female assigned at birth put on stuff from the men’s section.. Would anyone even notice unless they went totally conservative in style? I prefer hoodies, tees and jeans. Just like a lot of the women out there. In other words, clothing is not all that helpul for me, in terms of expressing my gender identity. Darn you women for being allowed to wear pants! *shakes fist*  But I got sidetracked. My status so far..

All-male wardrobe. I cut my hair short. My immediate family, and some of my extended family is informed. What’s missing (if disregarding the medical stuff that I unfortunately have no control over) is informing work, and getting the name changed.

Coming out at work is a bit of a problem. I’m a temporary employee, have been for several years (filling in for various people over the years). My current contract expires by the end of the year, and I don’t know if I’ll get it prolonged and for how long. This makes calling a meeting to introduce a challenge for them somewhat awkward. It would also be practical to do this in the spring due to the nature of my work – but if I then no longer have a job there a month later, what’s the point? I kinda imagine that if I had been a permanent part of staff, I could have informed them early in the spring to give them time to prepare for an “official” change this summer – which is when I’m planning to get my name changed.

Ok, I got majorly sidetracked again by other stuff, so i’m just gonna post this little rant and try to make better sense next time.