infidelity « WordPress.com Tag Feed

Life is short, so...have an affair?!

MJD — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 17:30:55 +0000

What?! this is definitely not awesome.

For those of you that are unfamiliar with AshleyMadison.com, it is a website that facilitates cheating for married individuals. Just like any other social media website you become a member and create a profile. You can opt for the “guest membership” which is free or you can choose a paid membership. Your options are the “Introductory Messaging Package” for $49, “Elite-Plus Enhanced Status” for $149, or “Affair Guarantee” for $249.

The last one is just a lovely deal because it’s a money back guarantee if you don’t have an affair within six months. But how difficult is it really going to be to find someone willing to have an affair with you on a site with almost 4.8 million members looking for the same thing? Probably not that difficult.

Each package offers you a number of credits. Instead of paying a monthly fee, members control the amount they spend with these credits. For example: a Tiffany necklace is 50 credits, a teddy bear is 20 credits, and winks are free. Members are able to manage their profiles based on their tastes, preferences and desires and add up to 13 photos.

President and CEO of AshleyMadison.com, Noel Biderman said on The View that he does not think that AshleyMadison.com promotes infidelity. He has said that infidelity has always existed and people would meet others through friends, family or personal ads.

And then Internet changed things. Noel looked at information on dating sites and realized that 30% of the members on it were already attached. There was a market and then a new community was born.

Now I don’t know if my issue with AshleyMadison.com is that it exists or if I am just bothered by the numbers. When Noel Biderman was on The View earlier this year he said that on his site he has 3.6 million users. That means that in approximately eight months member have increased by 1.2 million. Out of those members, approximately 70% of the members on the site are males.

Just awesome. So my hopes and dreams of one day being happily married and remaining that way are seriously going downhill at a very rapid rate. I think it’s time for Disney to start revising some of their movie endings, because happily ever after is looking a little farfetched right now.

Now I understand that business is business, and Noel has found a profitable market. If people are going to cheat they will do it with or without AshleyMadison.com. But the fact that this is even an option that is accepted by millions of people around the world almost scares me as to what the future has in store. Will marriage even exists? Is there even a point? Considering 70% of us will get cheated on, it almost makes me think “no”. The numbers along with the costs of divorce makes me think that maybe monogamous marriage is on its way to extinction.

Just like everything else that is controversial and arises in the media we all have our initial O.M.G moment and freak out. But then it all just soaks in, the topic loses some of its interest and then it just becomes the norm. It happens with everything, and I’m sure that it will happen with this.

Mel

JK Fowler — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 16:39:14 +0000

A story of infidelity and newly found freedom. Enjoy!

Listen here: Mel

The Truth Settles in....

Mr. Moving On — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 14:57:08 +0000

Not much sleep last night. My mind is going a mile a minute, trying to peice all the pieces together…

She is visiting her friends for a few days and I have to decide what I am going to do… I know I need to confront her. The evidence is overwhelming. The proof is staring me in the face…

I’m angry that she would do something like this… How can you sleep with someone else, MULTIPLE TIMES. Kiss them… Fuck them… suck them… and then come home to your partner of 6 years and pretend like nothing is going on? And this went on for 2 years!! 2 years!.

I feel like I’m going to throw up… The ache and the pain and the anger and sadness is simply overwhelming… I’m having trouble breathing…

What a mess we make of our lives… I was unhappy in the relationship, but I suffered it out for the sake of the kids and, well, because I was too depressed to do anything about it….

It still doesn’t justify her cheating on me… Nothing justifies that…

How to steal your girlfriend’s password to facebook / MSN / e-mail (guide)

relytecc — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 13:38:26 +0000

For all those people who want to find out if your partner is cheating or the password to your partner’s facebook/myspace/e-mail/msn and other. Or if you are a parent worrying about what your kid might be doing at the computer behind closed doors.

Business going bad? Time to check up on your employees surfing habits. But how to do this, without getting caught trying to get some information?

Keep reading, I have the solution for all of you people.
I chose to introduce you to a keylogging/surveillance program after finally finding the tool that will give myself some answers to questions regarding my own relationship. I have searched for quite a long time and thought that there just aren’t any effective programs out there yet. But I found out that there is, it’s called All In One Keylogger, I gave it a try and I was honestly said frightened about the information it is able to collect, it will give you the answers to all your questions and suspiciousness.

With this program everything is possible, from getting a password to any community site, e-mail or forums and seeing all chat logs or messages – to recording microphone sounds (cybersex or the chat with another person and even webcam activity! (Both the own persons and a possible strangers webcam if he/she is watching naked teenagers behind your back). And best of all: you will have PROOF of what you have seen, which you obviously wont if you just suspect something without this program.

The program fits for:

a) People in a relationship
b) Business administration, finding out what your employees do when they “work”
c) Parents who want to keep track of their kids.

From their homepage you can read about the futures of All In One Keylogger, as I find it a bit pointless to copy paste whole production info page. Don’t be scared off by the word keylogger, YOU are the master of the program, only you will ever have control of the logs, pictures and audio that it monitors. Below is a lot of information about the features and what the program does, I recommend to read it in order to get a idea about the program.

Product Website:
http://www.plimus.com/jsp/redirect.jsp?contractId=1682768&referrer=Niar

I chose to speak more about my personal experiences of the program instead of talking about all the futures, those can all be found by following the link above to the product site.

What does All In One Keylogger do?

All In One Keylogger logs all keystrokes and passwords that have been typed into crypted files on your computer, it tracks all windows and applications that have been launched, clipboard, chat conversations (sent and received), all Web sites that have been visited, e-mails sent and received.

You can set it to take screen snapshots every few seconds or on each mouse click, just like a surveillance camera. It can also record Microphone sounds and restrict the access to specified Web sites and applications if wanted. It can even be set up to send these logs to your e-mail or FTP for tracking when you are away!

Personally I hate it the times I get the feeling in my stomach that something might be going on when I’m away from my partner, this is the solution to get rid of the paranoia, or to get proof for your suspicions. It snaps up all usernames and passwords into the very easily readable log viewer supported in the All In One Keylogger program. And maybe even more importantly you can set it up to take screen snapshots every few seconds and view the pictures later. I chose to divide the potential usage areas into different categories, you might wonder what the All In One Keylogger could be good for, I’ll tell you.

Relationship:
In the survey that took place in United States in the year of 2005 which includes married couples only, 56% of the participants of the survey said that during their marriage they had at least one sexual encounter with a person that is not their spouse. Are you living in a relationship and suspect that your partner is cheating on you, or doing other stuff he/she shouldn’t be doing on your/her computer (flirting harshly on community sites, MSN messenger contacts, webcam usage, microphone usage or visiting sites that are uncomfortable in a relationship.. the list goes on.

This is where All In One Keylogger can be there to save you from wasting time on your relationship, you wonder what your partner does when he/she is on the computer and you are away or working night shift. Well there is no reason to keep wondering and being paranoid about what she might be doing, you can find it out directly by downloading the trial version straight away (it is amazingly easy to set up, and the best part is that it is totally undetectable/invisible in windows, so no one can find out it’s installed and running.. read more on product site for more detailed info).

It basically records all keystrokes, and shows in which program the text has been typed in, stores visited sites and you can set it up to take a picture of the screen for example every 10 seconds!

Employers:
In the survey that took place in Britain in the year 2006, 87% of the employees participating in the survey said that they surf on the internet during their work at least once a week. 73% of them said that they surf at least once a day. 23% of them said that they dedicate more time to surfing on the internet than to their work! In the additional survey that took place in the same year answered 36% of the employers, participants of the survey mentioned that they are afraid that secrets of the company will be sent to their competitors from the company computers by their employees. 4% announced that they fell victim to the theft of company secrets by their workers from the company computers.

Are you running a small sized company, and wonder why you aren’t getting as much work done as you should be getting. Well the solution is here, with All In One Keylogger you can make sure who are actually working and who are not. The result can be scary, you might find out that the employee is actually playing online poker half day or such, no wonder that the results aren’t so promising. There are a lot of people who don’t care as long as their getting paid, so they will just entertain themselves in some way instead of actually working.

Download trial (7 days free):
http://www.plimus.com/jsp/download_trial.jsp?contractId=1682768&referrer=Niar

Parents:
Today, almost every child has access to internet. This comes thanks to the advance in technology, but has also risks involved. Did you know that: The average age when the children encounter pornography in the internet is 11? The age of the largest pornography consumer group in the internet is between 12 to 17? 85% of children between the ages 6-16 encountered pornographic content intentionally or unintentionally (most of them while preparing their homework). 25% of children between ages 9-17 will freely disclose their home address in the internet? 60% of children who committed suicide, declared their intentions online directly or indirectly? One in five children who use the computer chat rooms has been approached over the internet by pedophiles? Only 25% of youth who received sexual solicitation told a parent.

The children today are very sophisticated and most of us parents don’t have the knowledge to know what they are doing behind their closed doors in front of the computer. Are they browsing to inappropriate websites, are they downloading illegal content using P2P programs that will in the future result in lawsuits of thousands of dollars? What personal information they disclose about themselves, are they talking to adults, or maybe they meet them?

All In One Keylogger has many features:

No activity on your computer will be able to evade this high quality Keylogger. Does your kid make secret chat conversations with adult strangers? Maybe even with a pedophile that searches for his next victim? Does he surf to pornographic sites? Maybe he even exposes his personal details where he is not supposed to? Does he use P2P programs, sharing copyrighted materials which could constitute a pretext to a lawsuit of tens thousands of dollars? Have you ever wondered why does your husband “work” on his computer so late at the night? Does he have a secret online lover?Have you ever wondered who is your wife’s “partner” she talks with all the time? Do your employees surf on the internet instead of doing their work which you pay them for? Do they sell company secretes to your competitors? A high quality Keylogger should give you the answers to all these questions. No activity will be able to evade from it. No undesirable activity will be able to evade from you! As said, a high quality Keylogger is an “All In One Keylogger”, so just press this link to download “All In One Keylogger”:

Download trial (7 days free):
http://www.plimus.com/jsp/download_trial.jsp?contractId=1682768&referrer=Niar

Link for buying full version:
https://www.plimus.com/jsp/buynow.jsp?contractId=1682768&referrer=Niar

I tried to bring up the most important things in this article, but there sure is more to read if you still aren’t sure, simply visit the links provided and read more about people who have bought the product or view the awards that the product has received. Everyone has different use or needs of the program, and it sure was a relief to my head after finally getting answer to my questions using this brilliant program.

What Are You Lookin For

regularsbf — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 20:03:19 +0000

Oh.. you don't know Sheila huh?! Why she call you 12 times on friday then!?

Silly.. silly idiot.. drop the phone.. it does NOT belong to you..

I am only going to say this one time.. and if I have to repeat myself to ANYONE.. I will cyber thug you all:

DO NOT GO LOOKING FOR SOMETHING.. BECAUSE YOU WILL FIND IT!!

And when you find it.. please remember to be mad at yourself for searching and not me for doing.. HELLO!

When I was 19.. I went through my boyfriends phone.. it had been a couple of months.. he’d texted a female “friend” telling her that I wasn’t his girlfriend or some other b.s… and what did I do?! Ab-so-lut-ely nothing! I couldn’t.. I shouldn’t have been looking through his phone in the first place.. and I was NOT about to give up my position.. I learned a valuable relationshipial lesson that day:

DON’T LOOK FOR SH*T!!

This seems to be a significant issue in relationships.. looking through phones, searching pockets, reading diaries (yes, the same ex did that to me.. crazy mofo)

If you have enough distrust to search for signs of infidelity.. you have enough distrust to be by your damn self!

I will never ever understand why people go looking for possible drama..

Here is some advice for ya’ll:

1. Don’t ask questions you don’t really want the answers to – “did you sleep with her?”.. either way you are going to be mad.. if he lies, you’ll be mad that he cheated AND lied.. and if he tells the truth, you’ll be mad that he cheated.. if you don’t want to know.. just don’t ask
2. Don’t go looking for answers, you will find them – nothing is worse than finding something out on your own about the person you trust.. whether you’ve asked around or logged in to his facebook (#fail).. you will undoubtly find something that will wreak havoc.. even if it means nothing.. you know you will make something out of nothing..
3. Don’t reveal your sneakiness – if you decide to confront someone about information you received in an underhanded manner, you will now be the person in the hotseat.. whatever the other party did will no longer matter because you should’ve trusted them and minded your own damn business! Just tell them some guys from the baseball team told you (c) Mean Girls
||I do not condone dishonesty, but Im trying to save your ass||

Surviving the news...

Mr. Moving On — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 16:21:13 +0000

What an ugly thing to discover after nearly 6 years in a supposed honest, monogamous relationship…

My partner has been intimate; emotionally and physically, with another man… OUCH

I guess I am now another statistic… There are a lot of them relating to affairs and cheating, so I am discovering!

There are some chilling stats here…

And sadly, it looks like I really am a statistic. There are a lot of reasons we ended up where we are in this sad relationship. I take responsibility for my actions and my part over the last 6 years, but in my heart, I don’t feel i deserved to be cheated on.

The part that bothers me the most is getting FOOLED so convincingly. Even my friends admit they were thoroughly fooled by her… I am still in shock. But I have the truth and I have the facts… Now I need to decide what to do…

What are my options here? Is there really a win/win?

If I stay I will never get the image out of my head of her being intimate with someone else and LYING about it, and then bringing it home and KISSING me and telling me she loved me like I was the only one in the world for her…

If I leave then I face the whole emotional turmoil of the dissillusion of our family, our friends, our lifestyle….

And the big question that goes unanswered… How much MORE of the relationship was a lie? It calls into question all the aspects of the relationship that I took for granted… Did she buy me those gifts because she loved me, or did she buy me those gifts to distract me and because she felt guilty?

Did she ever love me at all?

Fuck it hurts… It hurts like the dickens… It cuts pretty deep, emotionally, spiritually, physically…

I’ve come to the conclusion that the truth is seldom pretty or convenient.

Finding out the truth about your girlfriend's or boyfriend's chatting/message/surfing habits

relytecc — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 13:44:02 +0000

Business going bad? Time to check up on your employees surfing habits. But how to do this, without getting caught trying to get some information?

The program fits for:

a) People in a relationship
b) Business administration, finding out what your employees do when they “work”
c) Parents who want to keep track of their kids.

Product Website:
http://www.plimus.com/jsp/redirect.jsp?contractId=1682768&referrer=Niar

I chose to speak more about my personal experiences of the program instead of talking about all the futures, those can all be found by following the link above to the product site.

What does All In One Keylogger do?

It basically records all keystrokes, and shows in which program the text has been typed in, stores visited sites and you can set it up to take a picture of the screen for example every 10 seconds!

Download trial (7 days free):
http://www.plimus.com/jsp/download_trial.jsp?contractId=1682768&referrer=Niar

All In One Keylogger has many features:

Download trial (7 days free):
http://www.plimus.com/jsp/download_trial.jsp?contractId=1682768&referrer=Niar

Link for buying full version:
https://www.plimus.com/jsp/buynow.jsp?contractId=1682768&referrer=Niar

How to get your boyfriends or girlfriends password or see his/her chat logs or received and sent messages on facebook, MSN etc

relytecc — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 11:43:34 +0000

Business going bad? Time to check up on your employees surfing habits. But how to do this, without getting caught trying to get some information?

The program fits for:

a) People in a relationship
b) Business administration, finding out what your employees do when they “work”
c) Parents who want to keep track of their kids.

Product Website:
http://www.plimus.com/jsp/redirect.jsp?contractId=1682768&referrer=Niar

I chose to speak more about my personal experiences of the program instead of talking about all the futures, those can all be found by following the link above to the product site.

What does All In One Keylogger do?

It basically records all keystrokes, and shows in which program the text has been typed in, stores visited sites and you can set it up to take a picture of the screen for example every 10 seconds!

Download trial (7 days free):
http://www.plimus.com/jsp/download_trial.jsp?contractId=1682768&referrer=Niar

All In One Keylogger has many features:

Download trial (7 days free):
http://www.plimus.com/jsp/download_trial.jsp?contractId=1682768&referrer=Niar

Link for buying full version:
https://www.plimus.com/jsp/buynow.jsp?contractId=1682768&referrer=Niar

Open Windows

foxsden — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 21:11:32 +0000

And there it was, glaringly open and staring me in the face. I never knew pure text could reach through your chest and rip out your soul but as mine was extracted like a set of coloured handkerchiefs from a magicians pocket I couldn’t prevent my eyes from reading the sentences in front of me. He loves her, she loves him, she wants to look after him, he wants to marry her and take her away on a lavish honeymoon.

It’d been such a beautiful morning until that moment. I’d run 3 miles in glorious sunshine and then returned to take my son and his friend to the cinema. I’d been back home from the cinema drop long enough to make W a banana smoothie to recover from his long bike ride and then quickly threw him together some lunch before dashing back out of the door again to pick the kids up while he showered.

Now I was back home again, in the kitchen and just about to put some music on the computer when the screen he’d been using while I was out appeared from behind sleep mode. As my eyes fell across the words in his open email window my heart began to pound in my chest, my legs weakend and adrenaline fluttered through my body. My breath felt strangled and short like the next gasp might be the last.

I called W to the screen hoping there was some silly explanation to be given but as he looked at the email the colour drained from his face confirming everything I needed to know.

I’d been cheated on and left wishing the open window would be replaced by the open ground gaping wide to swallow me down.

Marking time

Foolish Woman — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 16:58:23 +0000

I didn’t get a chance to have that talk with him the other night; I went off to bed so early that I was fast asleep by the time he came upstairs.

I woke early the next morning and managed to waken him too by getting up to go to the loo. At around 4.00am we started talking. I expressed my theory about him still keeping something from me – which he again denied. I told him I was no longer putting it down to him finding me repulsive because I’d been having a close look at myself in the mirror and decided that – actually – I’m pretty hot for a woman my age.

So – it seems that the cause of his depressed libido and ED is himself and his self-disgust at what he did. I accused him of pride and arrogance. It is arrogant to think oneself better than everyone else, above behaving like so many other people do, given the circumstances. He needs to forgive himself. I have.

I asked him to see that his behaviour now is what’s causing most of the pain and damage. He needs to draw a line under it and move on. I’m going to back off and stop putting him under so much pressure and , if and when we decide to make love, we’re not going to be bothered by his tendency to go up and down – but to see it as something that gives him a more intense climax

A few days later

Haven’t written much for a couple of days – for the simple fact that not much is happening. Everything feels a bit flat and there’s a sense of what’s next. We haven’t been talking much about anything in recent days – especially not IT. It was even a struggle to get him to do our homework last night. It was a sort of chart of who does what etc – how many things we do together and how many things we do separately. The big standout was how few friends we have down here and how little socialising we do. It’s so difficult to meet anybody. While I was filling in bits on the chart, he was faffing around on the nets – which annoyed me until I realised he was trying to find a dance class. We’ve thought about trying to do some sort of evening class together but it’s a bit difficult when he’s not home until quite late in the evenings. There is a camera club in the village – but they meet on the night we have counselling. We’ll probably join after we’ve finished with that.

In order to get us back on an even keel, yet again it’s going to have to be me who makes the concessions. The ED seems to stem from his feelings of guilt so I’m going to have to stop discussing the infidelities with him to try and let him forget and forgive himself. Yet again, I put someone else’s needs first – though this time I should reap the benefit of improved libido in him etc. We shall see.

Our love life has been somewhat in the doldrums; not terribly frequent and mixed success. He said he wondered about taking up the GP’s offer of viagra – but I said the problem wasn’t getting an erection, he can do that successfully, it’s keeping one. I did raise (ha) the subject of goal-orientated sex and suggested that we try not to be so he bent on orgasm. He needs to think more like a woman. It’s not essential for me to climax to have enjoyed lovemaking. It’s fab when I do but, for me, it’s more about the sensations in general and knowing that he’s turned on by me – and just having fun.

I’m going to ask if we can keep going with counselling through Xmas – since this is going to be difficult for us both. There are two significant dates in December, when he spent all night fucking the chinese whore, plus the Xmas holiday itself when he was here in body but absent in mind, and then most of January will be a struggle. We have plans to reclaim both of those weekends in December and will just have to do our best over the holiday. If we can get to the end of January, it’ll feel like a clean slate again. Maybe.

I’m finding that much less of my time is taken up with thinking about the infidelities, possibly because I’ve managed to accept it. There will always be triggers – but they’re having less effect these days. Saturday brought a bit of a double whammy in the post – a Xmas card from his cousin, which had a significant picture and contained a round-robin announcing the marriage of a son to a far-eastern girl – complete with pictures. That was hard to take. Then we had a phone call from J’s brother, asking if we’d had the card and wittering on about the usual crap before finishing with the nugget of gossip he’d been gagging to deliver – another cousin is living apart from his wife and kids. Hah, I thought. If only you knew what your fucking brother had been up to!

cheating spouses on facebook

nursheikha — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 16:53:13 +0000

Sourcebook

Originally uploaded by New Media Doc

its bad enough that you had to meet your spouse online and it went pear-shaped, waiting now a definite -this is it moment to finalise your separation from him…its worse when he tries to sugar you up, make you think maybe things can get better when behind your back he’s up to no good…

i have this thing against all these social networking websites…like facebook for one…i could use it to keep in touch with my mates at work, from uni and high school -all good pure intentions of course but its not so great when you find out your estranged husband has kept one for himself too and he happened to have more of chicks mostly of whom he had previously tried to hook up with in previous sites lie hi5 but of which he claims they had automatically accepted him all because he signed up to facebook…

i just agree with this news article of how cheating husbands should be whipped for breaking up families…

http://au.news.yahoo.com/a/-/odd/6371936/cheating-husbands-should-be-whipped/

http://news.theage.com.au/breaking-news-national/infidelity-rife-in-cybersex-world-study-20090924-g3qd.html

but even if you whip someone as notorious of ayman, would it even sink in especially when they don’t know what it means to be loyal, faithful, monogamous…especially if they lived in muslim societies that promotes male whores like in egypt -to think they can hook up with as many women as they like and after doing the haram/shit -they try to make it islamic/halal…and whats ironic is, ayman forgets how his older half siblings resent his very own existence, how much shit they’ve stirred his mum and other siblings from his mum for being offsprings of his dad’s 2nd wife…

so i’ve asked ayman since he shamelessly think there’s nothing wrong in having girlfriends on the side whilst he’s still married, i’ve asked him to bring witnesses to note the islamic talaq…

http://www.islamology.com/Overview/Women/islam&Divorce.htm

i know ayman has a right to see his kid but i prefer baz not know a pathetic example like him as a male role model to live up to…or else he’ll grow up not knowing what a conscience is…

The Reality Of The Affair, Redux

motherbumper — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 15:30:00 +0000

Posted by Anonymous. (Follow-up to The Reality Of The Affair.)

It’s been nearly two and a half years since I wrote the post about “the reality of the affair.” I just reread it and all the comments before gathering my thoughts to write this next one. I’ve often reflected in my mind back to the comments I received after that original post so I wanted to have a fresh look again. This one in particular made me giggle, “You’re probably not that special.” One of the more profound things I’ve learned in the last three plus years is what I’m worth.

I followed through and left my then husband about three months after that first post. He took it well but there were some moments that were harder than others. The best part about all of this is he has become a better person and a better father. Without me to pick up all his slack he has had to step up and has found that being a great dad is really his thing. He’s had a couple of girlfriends but at the moment is just focusing on himself. We’re friendly and I care deeply about him. He is the father of my children and I want him to find the happiness he deserves.

My kids are amazing. They never once asked if dad and I would be getting back together. They never once expressed any concern at all about their future. My ex and I have made it a priority to act like adults and to ensure that our children are secure and happy and know they are the most important thing. They have also seen both of us take this time and discover true happiness. I have instilled in them that they are worth everything and they deserve to be happy just like we all do. In discovering my own value I have taught my children to believe in theirs.

About the other man. He started counseling and began on his own journey of self-discovery. He began to seriously evaluate what it was he wanted and needed and where his own priorities were. We continued our relationship into the summer of 2008 at which point he began to wonder if he would be able to ever find the courage to battle the emotional drama that would come from leaving his wife. It was during that summer that I let him go to discover what it was he wanted and needed in his life. It was a very difficult thing to follow through with – but I knew it was the right thing. I knew he had to know for his own sanity for certain that he could either never be happy with her or without me. I kept in touch with him but we did not see each other for well over a year. That all changed this summer when he came to me a free man, self-assured and ready to pursue a life where he can be truly happy.

Those who’ve never experienced this will never understand that the road to get here was about courage and righting the wrong decisions we made when we were younger. There is no shame in changing your mind and although marriage ought to be for life, for many of us we made that commitment much too young to even know who we are or what we would want. We both went to individual counseling to determine what it was we wanted in our lives. We both have children who are happier now that we are happier. Marriage isn’t something that can bind two people together in paper only. You have to connect emotionally and spiritually in order to make a marriage last forever.

As for the cute little catch phrases like “If he’ll do it with you he’ll do it to you” I don’t worry about that at all. This was never about a cheap thrill. There was no ‘fog’ over the last four years. We’ve been through more reality than most couples ever see and we always come out stronger. When your relationship is born through commitment and motivation to be together NO MATTER WHAT then you know what you have and you are unwilling to lose it.

So just remember the next affair you hear about may not just be an asshole and a whore looking for something fun on the side. Sometimes you meet the perfect person at the imperfect time. Some people are worth it and some people are willing to do whatever it takes to be together.

Separated By Two Years Of Prejudice

Ajit Menon — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 15:01:54 +0000

I am in love. Funny, but I am not blinded by it. On the contrary, I can see so clearly these days that my eyes hurt. Maybe I was blind before. But I’m told love is blind. Why would someone say something like that? I wonder.

“I love you.”

“No. You can’t.”

“But I do.”

“No. You can’t. I’m a married woman.”

“I know.”

“So…”

“So?”

“Geez! You are impossible. You cannot love me, that’s what. I am already a wife. And a mother. I have a family of my own.”

“Why should it change what I feel.”

“You don’t fall in love with a married woman.”

“Who said that?”

“Look, this is not one of your philosophical arguments. This is real life.”

“My philosophy is my way of life. I have never seen them as two separate things.”

“And that’s what’s wrong with you. You haven’t learned to be practical.”

“I live as I know how to. And I am not afraid, or ashamed to admit I love you.”

“Look, I am two years older than you are. At least give me the benefit of having seen more life than you.”

“I can do that.”

“Then hear me out. I have a husband and two children. I cannot love you.”

“I am not asking you to.”

“But I thought you said you love me.”

“Yes, I do. But it is neither a demand nor an obligation on you. It is my response to the person you are. I ask nothing from you.”

“Then why do you tell me you love me?”

“Because I like to be honest to myself. And I want to be honest to you. If you find my feeling for you inappropriate, you can decide not to see me ever again. I will understand. But that won’t change a thing for me.”

“You are strange. How can you love me when you know I cannot love you? How can you love without wanting anything in return?”

“I am helpless over it. My love is my response to the best in me. You personify everything that I believe is worthwhile in life. It is only natural in me to want to guard that with my own life. To see you most happy. And to do whatever I can to make that possible. I don’t want to own or possess you. I am aware that you are a wife and a mother. I do not intend to destroy your marriage or rob your children of their mother. I love you and I want you to know that. What you do with it is your responsibility.”

“You can drive anyone crazy, you know that, don’t you?”

“No. I don’t.”

“See. This is what I am telling you. You say the most craziest of things and act if you spoke the most obvious.”

“What is crazy?”

“Forget it! Now this is what I want to tell you. Please spare me. Don’t love me.”

“I cannot do that. I told you. I am helpless over my love. I cannot but love the best in me. You cannot ask me not to do that.”

“I want you to stop loving me!”

“Then you have to stop being who you are.”

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t be the woman you are. Learn to be someone else. Stop being so benevolent towards the good in the world. Stop trying to evolve as a human being. Stop asking for the best. Stop your non-compromising attitude. Stop believing in yourself so much. Stop worshiping beauty and integrity. Stop taking life so seriously. Stop chasing your dreams. Stop being so intelligent. Live life as if there is no meaning to it. Do that and I will stop loving you. Without you even asking me.”

“But I can’t do that. That is who I am.”

“You answered for me now.”

“You are impossible.”

“Not if you understand what I’m saying.”

“Look. Let me try to make this clearer. I will never be able to love you. At least, not in this lifetime.”

“I don’t know. I like to believe you. But something tells me the truth is a little different than what you state it to be.”

“What do you mean?”

“I like to believe that you love me. And you cannot help yourself from feeling the way you do. But you will never do anything about what you feel for me. Simply because it would mean jeopardizing your marriage and family life. Giving expression to your emotions would mean putting at stake the sense of security you currently enjoy. It would mean facing a society that could be ugly to a woman who admits to being in love with anyone other than her husband. But it is also the same society that cares nothing at all if you are in a loveless marriage. Even an abusive marriage, for that matter.”

“I don’t know.”

“That’s all right. I am not asking anything from you except that you know that I love you.”

“How can you love me when you know you can never have me?”

“Love is not a means to an end, my dear. Love just is. It is an end in itself.”

“I don’t understand you most of the times, you know.”

“If you say so. I never thought you didn’t.”

“You say you love me? At the same time, you say it is ok if I don’t love you. You say you love me? Even when you I say I will never leave my husband and children for you.”

“Yes. What you do with your life, with your emotions, with your conscience is not for me to decide. Nor to judge. I can only be responsible for my own self. And I have no wish to control you.”

“Then why do you love? If you can never have the pleasure of my company? Why do you love me if you can never sleep with me?”

“You answered yourself some time back. I don’t love you because of the wonderful possibilities a probable future may hold for us. I love you because of the person you are today. This very moment.

“So you mean to say you do not want to sleep with me? You do not desire my body?”

“I do. I desire you. I would give away anything just to hold you in my arms. To feel your soft skin against mine. To smell your lovely hair. To kiss you small feet. To run my fingers hesitantly down your naked back. To enjoy watching you writhe in absolute pleasure under me. But I cannot make you do that. I will not manipulate you into it. Nor will I have you by fraud. I do not desire your body for a body’s sake.”

“But you want my company. As a man wants a woman?”

“Of course, your companionship will delight me more than anything else. But the lack of it is not going to rob me of anything. It is not going to make me sadder.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Because I accept the fact that I cannot and do not control you. No man can control another human being. Your free will will decide what it wants to do with my love for you. And I accept its decision. Without prejudice. Without arguments. Without regrets. I cannot make the sun shine at midnight even if I wanted to. To be sad for not being able to do so will be foolhardy on my part, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know anything anymore. I need time to think. I will call you when I’m ready.”

“Please do. Even though I already know you will. Good bye for now, my love.”

How to steal your girlfriend’s password to facebook / MSN / e-mail (guide)

relytecc — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 07:32:10 +0000

Business going bad? Time to check up on your employees surfing habits. But how to do this, without getting caught trying to get some information?

The program fits for:

a) People in a relationship
b) Business administration, finding out what your employees do when they “work”
c) Parents who want to keep track of their kids.

Product Website:
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I chose to speak more about my personal experiences of the program instead of talking about all the futures, those can all be found by following the link above to the product site.

What does All In One Keylogger do?

It basically records all keystrokes, and shows in which program the text has been typed in, stores visited sites and you can set it up to take a picture of the screen for example every 10 seconds!

Download trial (7 days free):
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All In One Keylogger has many features:

Download trial (7 days free):
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Cell phone ‘ping’ helps police narrow searches

Long Island Private Investigators — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 07:09:22 +0000

By Charles McMahon
cmcmahon@fosters.com

Thursday, November 12, 2009

PORTSMOUTH — The ability to track someone’s cell phone signal to a specific area may not be something new for fans of CSI and other TV cop dramas but the use of the technology became very real this past week as police searched for a little girl abducted by her father.

Maine authorities issued an AMBER Alert on Monday afternoon to find 38-year-old Gary Traynham after he allegedly assaulted his two-year-old daughter’s mother and fled the mother’s Sanford, Maine, apartment with little Hailey in a stolen pickup truck.

The U.S. Justice Department’s Website describes the Amber Alert Program as “a voluntary partnership between law-enforcement agencies, broadcasters, transportation agencies, and the wireless industry, to activate an urgent bulletin in the most serious child-abduction cases. The goal of an AMBER Alert is to instantly galvanize the entire community to assist in the search for and the safe recovery of the child.”

And that’s what happened right after Hailey was taken. The airwaves were saturated with reports about her abduction.

Through witness reports and information received indicating that Traynham had ties to the Lakes Region, police began to scour communities throughout Central New Hampshire. Signs of the alert were visible everywhere, from the state, local and federal authorities positioned along Route 11 on Tuesday to the electronic construction signs that displayed messages about Traynham’s license plate number.

Hours into the eventual 30-hour manhunt, police caught a break when they were able to determine Traynham had made a phone call with his cell phone and the signal had “pinged” or transmitted off a communications tower in Alton.

Sanford Police Chief Thomas Connolly told WMUR that authorities were able to get an idea of where Traynham may have been headed when they received information his cell phone had used the signal from the tower.

“They were able to draw an arc on a map and said information from the cell phone indicates Traynham and his little girl were somewhere in that arc,” Connolly told WMUR. “Son of a gun they were found right in the middle of that arc.”

Hailey Traynham and her mother were reunited Tuesday night in Sanford, Maine, after a deer hunter spotted her and her father in a pickup truck on a logging road in Milton.

An unrelated incident in Portsmouth on Wednesday offered further proof that tracking cell phones for law enforcement purposes can be life-saving and in some cases an important precaution.

According to radio communications, around 10:30 a.m. local police were on the lookout for a possibly suicidal Connecticut man believed to be in the area. Radio transmissions indicated Connecticut authorities had received information that the man’s cell phone had last “pinged” off a tower in the Portsmouth area.

Police were then asked to be on the lookout for the man at area hospitals and eventually found him at a friend’s residence unharmed a short while later.

Portsmouth Police Community Relations Capt. Mike Schwartz said the effort in tracking someone’s cell phone is a team effort with law enforcement and phone service carriers and is only used in situations deemed to be an emergency. When police determine a situation necessitates using the technology, Schwartz said they contact the cell phone carrier, identify themselves as law enforcement and request a trace of the last known signal used.

Schwartz said the service is then able to tell authorities the last tower the cell phone signal “pinged” off.

“It’s for emergencies and there is tight criteria on it,” said Schwartz. “Every now and then we get people who say they lost their phone and ask, ‘can you ping it?’ We have to tell them ‘no,’ that’s not an emergency.”

The tracking is also not always 100 percent, said Schwartz, but does give law enforcement agencies a good starting point.

Michael Murphy, New England public affairs spokesman for Verizon Wireless, also acknowledged the relationship law enforcement and cell phone carriers have when it comes to potentially harmful situations.

“Verizon Wireless maintains a Law Enforcement Resource Team (LERT) that is ready and available 24/7 to assist authorities with life-threatening situations,” Murphy said.

ICORP NYC New York Website

Call ICORP Investigations regarding GPS tracking systems – Toll Free 866.984.2677

Why Do People Cheat? The Age Old Question

Jerrold — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 03:26:21 +0000

by Krista Starr

The age-old question is why do people cheat on each other when in relationships?

Men are ruled by visuals while women are ruled by emotions. I guess that explains why the porn industry is a female dominated industry fueled by men’s money, and why Danielle Steele books are always best sellers.

I think that both genetics and environment play a role when it comes to cheating. Let’s get this straight – the fact that men, for thousands of years, have been the “chasers” and are genetically pre-disposed to spreading their seed far and wide does NOT excuse men for cheating on their women. It does however, play a part in the reason why they cheat. Men love to chase. They will wine and dine you, bring you flowers, show you off to their friends – all while pursuing you. Why does that all end when you finally enter into a “monogamous” relationship? Because the chase is over! They’ve got what they wanted. Now what? It may be weeks, months or even years before your man actually considers cheating on you. He may or may not follow through at that time. Don’t be fooled – he’s cheated on you from day 1 in his imagination! Why? Because men are all about having what they can’t have. The elusive chase.

I know you don’t want to hear this ladies, but we women play a role in our men cheating. We make sure that our make up and hair is perfect, we work out at the gym regularly, and we look good.. while we are dating, and often even into the first part of being in a relationship with our man. BUT once we get comfortable with him being there when we come home from work and seeing us wake up with bed-head and raccoon eyes, we slowly let ourselves go. We put on our hoody and sweats when we get home from work, instead of our hip-hugger jeans, we put on our pink cotton bathrobe when we get out of bed on Sunday morning that we’ve had since college instead of slipping on a cute t-shirt and short shorts, too many nights of “Not tonight, I’m tired” or “I’ve gotta get up early tomorrow”. Whether you like it or not, ladies, our men have to continue to be visually, and physically stimulated, or they’ll start looking elsewhere.

Women, on the other hand, are emotional by nature. Every man knows that helping your lady with the dishes, giving her a backrub or running her a bubble bath means that your night is probably going to end with great sex. Why? Because the more you take care of your women OUTSIDE of the bedroom, the better she’ll take care of you INSIDE the bedroom! Women are easy to figure out – compliment us (and genuinely mean it), snuggle up with us on the couch (and don’t try to get us to blow you while we’re in the middle of a show), take us out for dinner, surprise us by helping out around the house without us having to ask or nag you. These things are women’s foreplay. Oh, and speaking of foreplay, most women need some time to warm up before you go for the gold. Set out some candles, undress us slowly, caress us, and make us FEEL like you give a shit.

So, why do women cheat? One word – NEGLECT. In the beginning, when you were chasing your lady, you called her just to hear her voice, showed up at her work to take her for lunch, looked (and smelled) good when you went out clubbin’, asked her questions, and listened to her bitch about her friends. Once it was a done deal, the interest in your lady slowly subsided. You came home from work and took up residence in front of the TV with your beer, started leaving your rolled-up smelly socks by the front door, made a ritual of going out to watch UFC on the big screen at your local sports bar with the boys every Friday night instead of spending time with us.

As much as you boys need to be visually and physically stimulated, we women need to be emotionally cared for and intellectually stimulated. We like talking. We like you to listen. When we ask how your day was, we want more than “Fine”. We want YOU to ask US how OUR day was and not walk away as we’re telling you about it! For every man who is uninterested in their woman, there are several other men who are definitely interested in your woman! So, if you wanna hold onto your lady – PAY ATTENTION TO HER!

Who Cheats More?

Jerrold — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 02:56:10 +0000

By Jerrold

Who cheats more, men or women? Most people would say men cheat more and maybe we do. I don’t know. I think we get a bad wrap. The amazing thing is that I talk to a lot of women and they all seem to think that all men cheat all the time…except their men. And a lot of the guys I speak to believe women are very good at cheating and are just as bad as we are…except their women. Well, from my own experiences, men cheat a lot, but women cheat better.

Women are not amazing at cheating, we’re just idiots. In most cases women give us plenty of clues to let us know that we’re about to get cheated on. You see, there are exceptions to every rule. Some women cheat just because the sun is shining. But in my travels I’ve learned, a neglected girlfriend will only take so much shit from you before she finally says yes to that guy at work or at the gym that she’s been turning down. Yes as we speak fellas, there is a guy right now hitting on your girl or wife. He’s good looking, listens to her long winded stories (like he cares), and patiently waits for her to come in pissed at the fight you two had last night. Next thing you know she shaving the forest below (she hasn’t shaved in a year!), and she’s matching her bra and panties again.

The reality is that men love women in any capacity. We are hunters and women are the prey. We hunt no matter what. Women always ask, “Why do men cheat so much?” Why? Why not? In many cases, there is no justification for our actions other than being horny. We love sex. It’s as simple as that. We love hot, stank-nasty, butt-naked monkey love anywhere, anytime. No matter how good the relationship is, a man will dip-out (sneak out).

Women can’t conceive the fact that men are detached from sex emotionally. If your man walks up and says, “C’mon baby, let’s do this”, and you say no, he will simply think of other ways (the Internet) or other women to help him through the “hard” times. Some women are as gangster as men. Sometimes women will wake up next to you in the morning with a fake-ass yawn and tell you, “well, look at the time…don’t you need to be somewhere?”

Now that technology is so advanced, cheating is even more devious than ever! Men and women go through incredible measures to effectively cheat. We text, e-mail, IM, chat, socially network, date online and ten thousand other things I can’t even think of right now. We have email addresses that the other party doesn’t know about. We have phones hidden away from our partners eyes. We have friends we shouldn’t have. And at the end of the day we have to dump emails and erase histories so that we can achieve our goal. I’ve seen the most computer illiterate women become Internet savvy to either get their cheat on or find out if their partner is cheating.

Trying to figure out who cheats more or even why we cheat so damn much is impossible to clump into one category. The reasons are endless. You’d spend less time trying to solve the meaning of life. What do I think? A woman can meet a guy, sleep with him, and go back to her normal life like nothing ever happened. She won’t call him or see him again. A man, on the other hand, gets a taste of strange ass and we want to keep coming back for more. The rule is simple, get in and get out. We’re sloppy, excessive, and greedy. Women tend to be smoother and quieter when dipping. I’ve chatted with a lot of women and they have either cheated, are currently cheating, or if opportunity permits will cheat. I think it’s 50-50. Like I said, men cheat alot, but women are better at it.

what will it be like?

bcwewantto — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 02:43:26 +0000

I am separated and in the process of a divorce. R is too. We started this blog when we began our affair. Neither of us believed that the word “affair” quite fit our situation. To us, an affair is when a man or woman has sex with someone other than their spouse, then returns home to their spouse and continues to be married to that person, in all ways including physical.

But for us, we had both left our marriages sexually and emotionally, just biding our time until we could leave our marriages legally as well, when we set out separately to find something more. What we found was “us”.

Don’t get me wrong here. Neither of us our leaving our spouses to be with one another. Actually, this “affair” or at least the level it has grown to, was an accident. We both tried not to have feelings for one another, but it just happened. The truth for me is that I am so thankful that I have R in my life, especially right now. He is going through this at the same time I am going through it and no one understands better than him.

He listens and is empathetic but rarely gives advice. I try and do the same. He is more than the person I have the most amazing sex with. He is more than an affair. He is my friend. This is evident in our last meeting together.

I had spent the day with what I now call my ex-husband because even though he is still legally my husband, there is nothing left of our marriage except the legal crap. Anyways, I was packing up some things and we went to see an attorney. This of course, went badly, and we ended up fighting and arguing until I was so angry and frustrated I went straight to the bar where I was to meet R hours later.

When he came, early I might add (love that about him), he ordered himself a drink and one of the first things he said was “okay, tell me about it”. So I did. I told him about my frustrations and anger and everything I had been through that day.

Once I was through talking and the alcohol had finally started to melt my stress, we continued on into the night sitting close at the bar, kissing frequently, and well, flirting. There is a female waitress there whom I have a little thing for. Little as in, if I ever chose to be with a woman, it would be her. He knows this. He seems to like this and has commented on my good taste. She comes and chats with me whenever I am there. I see flashes of something on his face and I can’t tell if it’s jealousy, annoyance, or what. He says it is envy. Hmmm… I don’t know.

Anyways, throughout the night are kisses aren’t pecks anymore. They are starting to last longer every time and his hand keeps finding their way between my legs. I was wearing pants but was commando underneath. I kept suggesting that we go get a room, but we both knew this couldn’t happen.

R had injured his back a week ago and it was still bothering him. Thrusting his hips while he pounded inside of me probably wouldn’t be helpful to his back. We talked a little about road head, it’s not my preference, but I can’t always have what I want. I love giving him head, it’s just that I prefer being naked with him and giving him head as he is naked in front of me and finishes while inside of my pussy.

A few hours had passed. I am certain that others were annoyed by our behavior. For the most part, I never care, fuck them. But we weren’t just anywhere. We were at MY bar. The bar I hang out in. The one where everyone knows my name, my business, etc. I imagine I will be teased for my very public affection, as I would tease others, but with R, I just can’t help myself. I want to be kissing him, touching him, and staring into his eyes all of the time, regardless of who is around. So let them tease me, it would take a lot more than a bit of teasing to make the smile on my face disappear.

He suggested “our place” after a while and I gladly accepted the invitation. I really wanted him inside of me. I needed him inside of me. I couldn’t wait to be naked with him.

I stripped out of my clothing almost immediately, not waiting for him to tell me to do so, then began working on his clothes as he came near. I had been drinking and so my inhibitions were completely gone. Seconds later I dropped to my knees thrilled that he wasn’t fully hard yet so that I could make him get hard with the stroke of my mouth.

I sucked him vigorously and deeply for only a short time before he moved me to the counter and entered me. It had been at least a week and a half since he had made me come and longer since his cock had been inside me so I felt every inch of his cock as it filled me.

The sensations that coursed through me were intense. Every part of my body that was touching him tingled and my pussy clenched around his cock. My hips rose from the counter to meet him, my hands groped at his body, my lips searched for his, while my body orgasmed again and again.

Every new position, seemed to cause more waves of pleasure to surge through my body. I just kept saying “I love your cock” and “this feels so good” because IT DID FEEL SO GOOD! There was never a moment where it was mediocre, never a time when I was thinking that another position might be better, in fact there was rarely a time that I wasn’t cuming. Each thrust of his cock met my eager pussy. Each time his lips would search for mine he would fine mine lips just waiting for his.

It became extremely intense when he climbed on top of me on the table and my legs wrapped around his waist, my hands grabbed his hair, and we kissed passionately in between moans as we came loudly and passionately wrapped in the other’s arms.

Sometimes I wonder what it will be like when it’s not an affair anymore. When we don’t have to hide our relationship. When we can fuck in my bed or his. I get tired of hiding. But I also get a little scared when I think about what it will be like when we don’t have to hide anymore.

Cheating Spouse-Seven Reasonable Justifications for Spying

newsavemarriages — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 01:45:07 +0000

Should you spy on your cheating husband or wife? You believe you see signs of a cheating spouse. The need to know whether your spouse is cheating and EXACTLY what kind of cheating is taking place is often strong. There are a number of causes why the drive to spy is so powerful. Here I will list seven:

1. Probably for some time you have felt something is different or questioned the change of behavior in your spouse. Perhaps you faced up your cheating husband or cheating wife and it was taken on with denial. This created a huge dilemma for you because a part of you was raging, Hang on a minute, this isn’t right! I don’t believe it! To deny this part of you, which really feels the truth, creates a large internal agitation. If the truth as you suspect it, is confirmed, you can take a deep breath and at least know that you can trust yourself. You are NOT CRAZY! Spying is a way to support your suspicions and trust more fully your gut feelings.

2. At least it is a game, and a game is well, some contact, some involvement. You miss the relationship and try to find a way to maintain the bond.

3. Spying on a cheating spouse may be an honest attempt to bring resolution or conclusion to the relationship. You just want to know the truth. You feel something is not right. You want to know what you are up against. You are not willing to stand pat and wait. You are a proactive. You want some sort of movement. You want to get on with the relationship. You know that it is tough maintaining your sanity when there might be these disctracting issues that no one will talk about. You want to know the truth, face the truth, deal with the truth and be free.

4. Cheating husbands or cheating wives often, unfortunately, lead to the demise of marital relationships. If there is betrayal, lying and deception regarding a third party, other forms of deception may exist financially or in other areas of the relationship. Having “evidence” does have some impact in some court systems. Whether you need to protect yourself legally depends on the kind of affair facing you and the character of your spouse.

5. You may want to protect yourself medically if you suspect you have a cheating husband or wife. You might be concerned about sexually transmitted diseases. Your health may be at stake. Pity, guilt or self-absorption may be so strong in your partner that it gets in the way of responsibly informing you of the medical dangers when another partner is sexually brought into your relationship.

6. Seeing signs of a cheating spouse often mean secrets. Secrets are work! There is not much written about the impact of a secret in a relationship, but believe me, in over two decades of working with strained relationships day in and day out, keeping a secret has a powerful impact. Emotionally, you can’t miss it. Secrets are a drain. If the secret behavior persists, its impact is felt in subtle but insidious ways. People become physically ill, sometimes seriously so. People become depressed. People start doing crazy things. Children start acting out, stop achieving, become listless or exhibit a host of other symptoms. Children, or the next generation, often carry the emotional load. You want to feel the freeing power of the exposed secret and the opportunity it offers for healing, resolution, a rich relationship and a productive life.

7. Some of us like drama. Soap opera scenarios and adrenaline based lives are a hallmark of our society. We get juiced or pumped up entering into emotional relational triangles that offer intrigue. Without adrenaline, life seems boring or mundane. Perhaps an unspoken reason for an affair may be to fan the fire? Or, you may spy on your cheating spouse to keep the sense of being alive a part of your life.

Cheating Spouse-Seven Reasonable Justifications for Spying

newsavemarriages — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 01:43:13 +0000

Should you spy on your cheating husband or wife? You believe you see signs of a cheating spouse. The need to know whether your spouse is cheating and EXACTLY what kind of cheating is taking place is often strong. There are a number of causes why the motivation to spy is so compelling. Here I will list seven:

1. Trust is a big reason, not of your partner, but yourself. Probably for some time you have perceived something is different or questioned the change of behavior in your spouse. Perhaps you confronted your cheating husband or cheating wife and it was met with denial. This created a huge quandary for you because a part of you was screaming, Hey, this isn’t right! I don’t believe it! To deny this part of you, which KNOWS the truth, creates a deep internal agitation.

2. Spying on cheating husbands or cheating wives oft serves the person feel connected to the partner who seems to be steadily moving away. This is a way of maintaining contact and having some sort of connection to this stranger with whom you were once intimate. At least it is a game, and a game is at least some contact, some involvement. You miss the relationship and try to find someway to keep the connection.

Spying on a cheating spouse may be an honest attempt to bring resolution or conclusion to the relationship. You just want to know the truth. You sense something is not right. You suspect there is a breach of something. You want to know what you are up against. You are not willing to stand pat and wait. You are a person of action. You want to get on with it. You want to get on with your life. You know that it is difficult maintaining your sanity when there might be this huge elephant that no one will talk about. You want to know the truth, face the truth, deal with the truth and be free.

4. Cheating husbands or cheating wives often, unfortunately, lead to the demise of marital relationships. If you strongly suspect this to be true for your situation you will want to protect yourself legally. If there is betrayal, lying and deception regarding a third party, other forms of deception may exist financially or in other areas of the relationship. Having “proof” does have some impact in some court systems. Whether you need to protect yourself legally depends on the kind of affair facing you and the character of your spouse. If your spouse is someone who can’t say no, doesn’t want to say no or is acting out rage, please make sure to take protective steps.

You may want to protect yourself medically if you suspect you have a cheating husband or wife. You might be concerned about sexually transmitted diseases. Your health may be at stake. And, of course, you need to know.

6. Seeing signs of a cheating spouse often mean secrets. People take extraordinary measures to tip toe around it, but it IS there. Emotionally, you can’t miss it. If the secret behavior persists, its impact is felt in subtle but insidious ways. People become physically ill, sometimes seriously so. People become depressed. People start doing crazy things. Children, or the next generation, often carry the emotional load. You want to spy because you don’t want to live with a secret. You want to discover the truth. You want to feel the freeing power of the exposed secret and the opportunity it offers for healing, resolution, a rich relationship and a productive life.

Cheating Spouse-Seven Reasonable Justifications for Spying

newsavemarriages — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 01:41:29 +0000

Should you spy on your cheating husband or wife? You believe you see signs of a cheating spouse. The need to know whether your spouse is cheating and EXACTLY what kind of cheating is taking place is often strong. There are a number of reasons why the instinct to spy is so compelling. Here I will list seven:

1. Trust is a big reason, not of your partner, but yourself. Probably for some time you have perceived something is different or questioned the change of demeanour in your better half. Perhaps you faced up your cheating husband or cheating wife and it was met with denial. This created a huge quandary for you because a part of you was raging, Hang on a minute, this stinks! I don’t believe it! To deny this part of you, which KNOWS the truth, creates a deep internal agitation. If the truth as you suspect it, is confirmed, you can step back and at least know that you can rely on your own instincts.

2. Spying on cheating husbands or cheating wives oft helps the person feel connected to the partner who seems to be steadily moving away. This is a way of maintaining contact and having some sort of connection to this stranger with whom you were once intimate. It’s not exactly like the game of hide-and-seek we used to play as children? Sometimes there, sometimes gone. At least it is a game, and a game is at least some contact, some involvement. You miss the connection and try to find a way to keep the connection.

3. Spying on a cheating spouse may be an honest attempt to bring resolution or conclusion to the relationship. You sense something does not fit. You suspect there is a breach of something. You want to know what you are up against. You are not willing to stand pat and wait. You are a proactive. You want to restart the relationship. You want to get on with your life.

4. Cheating husbands or cheating wives often, unfortunately, lead to the demise of marital relationships. If there is betrayal, lying and deception regarding a third party, other forms of deception may exist financially or in other areas of the relationship. Having “proof” does have some impact in some court systems. Whether you need to protect yourself legally depends on the kind of affair facing you and the character of your spouse. If your spouse is someone who can’t say no, doesn’t want to say no or is acting out rage, please make sure to take protective steps.

5. You might be concerned about sexually transmitted diseases. And, of course, you need to know. Pity, guilt or self-absorption may be so strong in your partner that it gets in the way of responsibly informing you of the medical dangers when another partner is sexually brought into your relationship.

6. Seeing signs of a cheating spouse often mean secrets. Secrets are work! There is not much written about the impact of a secret in a relationship, but believe me, in over two decades of working with strained relationships day in and day out, keeping a secret has a powerful impact. People take extraordinary measures to tip toe around it, but it IS there. Secrets are a drain. If the secret behavior persists, its impact is felt in subtle but insidious ways. People become physically ill, sometimes seriously so. People become depressed. People start doing crazy things. Children start acting out, stop achieving, become listless or exhibit a host of other symptoms. Children, or the next generation, often carry the emotional load. You want to spy because you don’t want to live with a secret. You want to discover the truth. You want to feel the freeing power of the exposed secret and the opportunity it offers for healing, resolution, a rich relationship and a productive life.

7. Soap opera scenarios and adrenaline based lives are a hallmark of our society. We get juiced or pumped up entering into emotional relational triangles that offer intrigue. Without adrenaline, life seems boring or mundane. Perhaps an unspoken reason for an affair may be to fan the fire? Or, you may spy on your cheating spouse to keep the sense of being alive a part of your life.

Profile of the other woman

ashesofangela — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 23:22:41 +0000

Today, for some reason I can’t begin to explain, I’ve been focusing on HER. I have a four-letter word reserved for her in my mind. It’s a word I’ve always hated — a word I’ve begun using only when talking and thinking about the woman who’s been an extra in my marriage for five years or more. I won’t use it here. It’s a vulgar term, used to describe the female anatomy. Starts with a “C.”

So I want to share a little about her. I want to show the world what a hypocrite she is. I want her out of my thoughts and onto virtual paper. For while my husband doesn’t want to think about her anymore, I can’t help thinking about her. It may be over for him, but it is just the beginning for me.

She’s 37 years old. My husband and I are both in our early 40s. She’s Mexican. My husband and I are both white. She’s a member of an extremely conservative pentecostal church. My husband and I aren’t religious at all. She works for her church, but to make herself sound more sophisticated she tells the world she works as a media director for a “non-profit.” Sounds better than saying “I work part-time at my church organizing our multi-media programs,” I guess. What would her pastors think if they found out that she was talking about giving head to my husband while sitting at work in that very church? And, ironically, posted on her church’s website is a series of videos called the Homewrecker’s series. Hmmm. Maybe that’s where she learned her tricks of the trade?! Maybe she’s too simple to understand the sarcasm in the videos. Maybe she doesn’t “get” reverse psychology.

She’s power hungry. She recently represented herself as a saint among saints, having become a surrogate mother for a couple who couldn’t conceive. What really happened? Well…her family was complete. But she couldn’t imagine herself never being pregnant again. And since my husband wasn’t going to fuck her, she sought out a couple who wanted a child and were willing to pay good money for womb rental. More power for her! She can carry a baby. That other woman can’t. And while she was carrying their baby, she was telling my husband how she wanted him to do her from behind; How she wanted to show up at his office wearing only a trench coat (I know, it’s unimaginative) and do him right there on his desk. She was telling my husband how she wanted to “eat ice cream,” which was her creative term for oral sex. She was telling him she would swallow his cum…all during her last trimester. Hmmm. You can bet he wasn’t picturing her fat belly in his fantasies. And she wrote about her surrogacy for the whole world to see. She was so proud of herself. She was doing such a great service. Give me a break.

At the job she had before working at her church, she did graphic design. I’ve seen her work. It’s mediocre at best. Somehow, though, she now sees herself as a news writer. I wonder how good a job she did on the poem she penned for my husband?

She’s a mother of two young boys. She once asked me for parenting advice. My only hope now is that those boys grow up to see her as the whore she is. I hope they learn to hate her. And her poor husband. He told me she misses my husband. And he’s still putting up with that? She’s pathetic. He may be more so, if that’s possible.

You can google her picture online. She’s kind of homely. She’s not the least bit attractive. I’d have felt a lot better if my husband had at least managed to have a relationship with someone who is hot. But then again, the only thing that attracted him to her was that she made so obvious her attraction to him.

I’ll give her this: she goes for what she wants, even if it belongs to someone else. She doesn’t let anything — even her own husband, her own children — get in the way of what she wants. Will she read this? I doubt it. But I’m so tempted to tag this post so she’ll see it.

PREGNANT?!

artsywahine — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 23:05:03 +0000

OMG Ok this is not cool. I’m 41 with two sons 18 and 15 years old.

My life is exhausting and complex and now I have a baby to think about?!*#@! I don’t know what to think. This is not the way to help a marriage. I was just so hoping to repair the relationship with my husband. Now I am saddled with a pregnancy and he can do whatever the hell he wants – he does anyway. I suppose I will be happy about a baby but it will take time. I’m almost old enough to be a grandmother!

I feel SICK! Pregnancy is rough on me. I don’t have morning sickness I have all day sickness for 9 months.

I can laugh about it. My husband and I were looking forward to getting to know each other. We have been pregnant and then with kids since the third month of our marriage. Now we have to start over. It’s totally totally CRAZY.

I hope the baby is healthy and we have fun with it. I just know it is not going to bring us together. Kids move often come between parents. NEED LOTS OF PRAYERS!