Here is an effective technique to counter your fears and prepare for a meeting in which you will propose bringing about change. All you need is a pen, a paper and a mirror.

1. Visualise the meeting. Who will be there? Several people or only your boss? How will they respond to your proposal? The goal of this exercise is to anticipate the scenario to help you control it better.

2. Write down what you think you may feel during the meeting. List the ways you can make yourself feel good to overcome your nervousness. For example, if you are worried that you will forget to mention something crucial, use index cards at the meeting.

3. List the things that your boss might do to make you feel nervous. Then list those things that you might do to cause your boss to be less receptive. For example, perhaps you talk louder when you are nervous. Does your boss react badly to this? How can you prevent this? List the ways!

4. Rehearse. Now that you have noted possible areas of tension and ways to overcome them, it’s time to practise. Grab a mirror and rehearse for the meeting. Focus specifically on minimising your reaction to behavioural traits – yours and your boss’s – that make you nervous.

If you take the time to prepare for a meeting, it won’t be as intimidating as you think it will be. It will also help overcome your fear of proposing change and this will ultimately help both you and your company.

— Mazhar Lari and Ali Anis
The writers are lead consultants and trainers at Change 180. info@thechange180.com

First published in the Careers Section of The DAWN National Weekend Advertiser on August 21, 2011.

The learning curve was steep, but I firmly believed that because the songs were familiar learning the charts would be easier.  All the musicians needed to do was look at the chart and relate the new symbols with what they heard in their heads from the last time they led the song.  Piece of cake, right?

Change Is Not a Piece of Cake

Wrong.

Here comes Ted (name changed to protect the innocent), his hands empty.  ”Hi, Ted.  Did you get the new charts?”  ”Hi, Maurice.  You know, I went to download them and when they printed out the font was so small I just threw them away.  I’m just going to wing it tonight.”

Needless to say, I was ticked at his cavalier attitude, but I should not have been surprised.  Change is hard, and I had just learned a lesson the hard way.  I thought that I could take what I learned from my last job, apply it at my new job, and be on my way.  The opposite could not have been more true.

Always assume you know nothing.

I was assuming incorrectly that what I had learned at my previous job applied to my new position.  I was arrogantly overlooking the obvious: the people were new, the mission of the church was new, . . . um, everything was new.  I was rushing ahead completely unaware of how much I was straining the team and my new relationship with them.

I was eventually able to change the music culture, but I had to almost completely begin again.  If you are considering making a change on your worship or ministry team, here are some points to consider.

Honor the status quo.

Ask lots of questions.  Dig through the entire server for every possible related file.  Find out the history of and reasoning behind the current system.  Make certain the team knows you value what has been.  This can be difficult when you really, really dislike the status quo.  Suck it up and be the grown-up in the relationship.

Explain what you are going to change and why.

If possible, do this in a separate meeting.  When I was at Lakeshore Community Church the leadership often made use of 15 minute quick meetings between services to give teams simple updates.  On more weighty issues, like culture change, another venue with no time constraints is better.  Answer questions.  Be kind.  Use “I” statements, and do not ever down the old system.  DO explain where the team is going and how the old system is not able to get you there.

Communicate, communicate, communicate.  This is not a one-time shot.  You have to do this over, and over, and over again.

Take small steps.

Be patient.  It may feel like Chinese water torture, but you will build trust with your team if you work the long plan.  In my case I dropped back to just one new chart per week, which meant that 4 or 5 charts per week were familiar.

My boss, the Creative Arts Pastor, asked me each week if each person on the team had played the newer charts.  This way we knew exactly how much change each team member was experiencing.  I owe him, Frank De Luccio, a lot in learning to consider each person each week.

Communicate.

As you take small steps, continue to ask questions along the way.  In my previous job I had created charts with two staves: vocal over rhythm.  I had also reduced each page to 80% to keep the charts mostly on two pages.

I found at Lakeshore that I needed to create separate, individual rhythm and vocal charts.  I also began reducing the page to only 90%.

I began putting song format in the upper left hand corner of the first page so that musicians could tell at a glance what order the verses, choruses, and bridges came in the song.

Say thank you.  A lot.

Acknowledge the difficulty for the team members.  Listen when they complain and try not to rip their heads off when they buck you.  They are volunteers and life has enough change, thank you very much.

Treat your volunteers with the same respect and grace you want them to give to you.

Keep a humble, grateful attitude, combined with firm forward movement and communication, and you will get there.

What steps do you need to take as you initiate change?

Our council president asked me to write a reflections piece for the council to review at their next meeting.  He told me I have a unique insight into the congregation and where it is going.  Werner has no idea I have a blog, so it seemed a very out of the blue request.

I did not turn in a formal piece of paper with my reflections, because by the time they met on Thursday evening, it all seemed to be one big moot point.  I had offered my insight on various occasions, as I am a vocal – yet tactful and respectful – person.

I took on the church lady position in October 2010.  Controversy swirled from the moment I started, as I beat out the church organist for the job.  And we also had major communication issues.  Council members would ask me to relay information from one of them to another instead of contacting one another directly.  I took a deep breath and dug in.

Since I have worked in HR and politics, I was up for the church battles.  But I soon found one key difference that made the church job more difficult: I was a part time employee with no authority.  And the council wanted to treat me as a full time employee who was in charge when convenient.  Yes, I had my work cut out for me.

I have become better at saying no and setting boundaries during recent years.  So I said no when no needed to be said.  And I organized the office from top to bottom, both physically and procedurally.  The best organizations empower their individual members.  We had a top heavy system in place, which could not continue.  Our pastor was stretched thin, and with new medical issues, would be stretched even more during my time there.  And I was only a 20-hour-per-week employee.  Other people needed to take ownership.

And, the hugest factor: giving was and is declining, and the operating budget was nearly as slim as it could go.  It was time to propose a more significant cost savings.  I told the council we needed to transition into a volunteer team of secretaries.

I did all I could to make the transition smooth.  I helped to recruit three out of the five volunteers needed.  I wrote a manual.  I continued to streamline processes.  I looped the pastor and council in on the entire thing and asked for their help.  However, I couldn’t do it all on my own, and while pastor and I worked together on the recruiting front, the council did not.

The council is made up of volunteers also.  And you know the saying, you can’t fire volunteers.  But it’s disappointing when the leading volunteers do not take ownership and help to steer the ship in the right direction.

Instead of taking the five weeks to recruit and look at big picture items, some individual council members were more worried about who would print off their reports for the council meetings, and nonsense like that.  I offered that each member could print off their own items for meetings, either from home or the church office.  After all, the pastor did it.  And I received a dazed and confused response.

So I plugged along during those five weeks, praying the bigger picture would come to light for people in the congregation.  The office secretary job is not rocket science.  It only requires a few committed people to take ownership for a few hours a week.  Apparently that is a tough thing for others to accept.

I also grew annoyed with the little things during the final weeks.  People worrying about a specific bullet point on a home visitors guide, as opposed to realizing we have been visiting more people in the past month than we have in the past several months.  People concerned with a minor three line change to the bulletin, as opposed to inviting their friends and family to church on Sunday mornings.

My main take away from the church lady job is disappointment.  I know many good people go to Gloria Dei and volunteer there.  And I know most people have good intentions that get lost in the static.  But the overall culture of refusing to see the forest through the trees was suffocating at times.  Maybe that’s partly because I was a cog in the wheel rather than the driver of the vehicle for once.  Then again, if I as a cog could see it and care enough to attempt change, why couldn’t others?

This is what some people would call an “AFGO” (another ____ growth opportunity).  In some ways this job allowed me to be an outsider looking in on an organization facing tough choices.  Yes, I was in the middle of it, but I was relatively new to the congregation and did not have an emotional stake in the church.

The job wasn’t all negative.  I truly enjoyed the lasting friendship formed with my pastor.  I met some neat members who bring so many talents to the congregation.  And I learned that one person can only do so much – propose ideas, hold hands, provide a path – but it’s ultimately up to others whether they carry that forward after she has departed.