It has barely been promoted to the world at large, but via the team’s Facebook page I was able to ascertain the existence of the “Inside Out Burger.”

The team reports, also on Facebook, that this reversified concoction was “created by Canal Park Food and Beverage Director, Nate Michel” and “features two burgers on the outside, kielbasa, cheese, pulled pork, and the bottom part of a hamburger bun in the middle.”

A flattering image of man and burger:

Comments on the Facebook page were largely negative, especially from females, prompting one Mike Dallas to write “What are all you girls talking ’bout? This burger is all that…and a bag of chips…holla at your boy!”

I’ll let Mr. Dallas have the final word in this particular debate, but in other matters I have more to say. For instance — my most recent Farm’s Almanac feature ran today, on the time-honored art of scorekeeping. It leads off with an explanation of Wisconsin Timber Rattlers announcer Chris Mehring’s color-coded system, which requires the following supplies:

Purple is for hit-by-pitch, because purple=bruises.

One great scorekeeping anecdote that I wasn’t able to fit into the piece came courtesy of Pawtucket Red Sox social media maestro Peter Sachs who, in 2010, called the independent league game in which Spaceman Bill Lee earned the win at the age of 63 (the oldest pitcher to ever earn a win in  professional game, a mark that Jamie Moyer won’t have the chance to eclipse until 2026). Sachs donated his scorecard from the historic contest to the Hall of Fame, and in return received this:

Pretty cool, right? Along similar lines, I recently received my Major League Baseball “Courtesy Pass,” which admits “Benjamin Hill and guest” to any MLB game (certain restrictions may apply).

It’s a busy time of year, obviously, so I don’t get to use the pass as often as I’d like to. But if you want to be my guest at a game in New York City then send me an email; if we can find a date amenable to both of our schedules then we’ll go. Why not? It’ll be fun.

benjamin.hill@mlb.com

twitter.com/bensbiz

Well, I got checked today by Federal Cafe‘s Inside Out Burger, and I’m not beyond admitting that I probably deserved it. Damn, I wanted so badly to be the one to discover that Federal Cafe’s “9 to 5er’s Lunch Special” — “Any item on our menu for only $9.99″ — wasn’t a gimmick but an under-the-radar lunching gem.

And … fail. In reality, the “regular” menu prices, which range from $8 – $19, are probably inflated to make the $9.99 price point attractive. I doubt that anything on their menu is worth more than $9.99, and certainly not the Inside Out Burger “8 oz. Black Angus burger grilled to perfection topped with cheddar, bacon & mushrooms” — listed for $16 regularly.

Here’s my laundry list: While cooked properly, the patty was definitely some previously-frozen, machine-formed number, bearing no evidence of (how’d they cook it?) griddle or grill marks. While the bun top looked promising, dotted with sesame seeds, the bottom half was soggy almost immediately (and that from a non-juicy burger!) and began crumbling immediately upon touch or handling.

And the fries. Quite possibly the worst sweet potato fries I’ve ever had. They tasted (and sort of looked) like orange-colored french fries. You order sweet potato fries for the ways they’re different from regular fries. These fries were so bland, so blah, they’d struggle to compete with fast food fries. In fact, I think they’d loose.

If you’re as attracted to the potential of Federal Cafe’s $9.99 lunch special — and I’m sure there’s someone out there who’s thinking that it’s only the burger that’s bad, that the $18 cheesesteak (for $9.99) might be the key — go for it. Just skip the burgers.

TIP: I saw a spinach salad going out — piled high with tomatoes, mushrooms, red onion, hard-boiled egg, and, at the tippity-top, a tangle of bacon — that looked decent …