Listen to the kid. He knows what he's talking about.

I’m a massively multiplayer online (MMO) game player, and I enjoy being one about eight to nine months out of the year.  However, there is a scourge about to descend upon my world.  For two to three months out of every calendar year, if I play, I must turn off my zone chat log and ignore 99% of the private messages I receive.

In short, I must avoid the “massively” part of MMO.

The holidays are usually a great time, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned from playing MMOs, it’s this: Around the holidays, parents treat MMOs as a baby-sitting service.  Hence, during November, December, and January–a break that’s too short for most kids to do anything productive and too long for them to just sleep through it–I run silent.  No pick up groups, very little super group/guild recruiting, and just about zero tolerance for outright stupidity.

Now, that’s not to say all kids grate my nerves.  Just most.  About 99.9875% of them.  But really, it’s the parents that make me want to throw my computer out the window.  Why?  Let me give you an example:  Once upon a Christmas break about three years ago, some random kid royally cussed me out in the middle of a run through Stratholme.  (That’s in World of Warcraft for those of you who aren’t savvy.)  I threw it right back at him, just as colorful and ire-inducing as his original spiel.  Sonny boy went and got his mother on the computer, who promptly chewed me out for hurling insults and expletives at her ten-year-old.  She claimed I was hurting his feelings, injuring his self-esteem, and that I ought to be ashamed of myself.

Seriously, some of the words this kid used…  Well, I didn’t even know they existed.

Miniature turds like that kids think they’re funny.  They think it’s a riot to go whining to their parents, game moderators, or whoever will listen, that it’s a veritable smorgasboard of laughs when you get someone suspended or banned from a game.  It’s not funny; it’s annoying.  It makes me want to strangle rabbits or something.  I mean, kids are one thing in reality, where their actions have consequences, but give them internet anonymity and they become little terrorists, accusing everyone who won’t put up with their BS of being gold farmers or of calling them some insult that could be construed as a hate crime.

Parents: For the love of God, keep your kid on XBox Live where he/she/it belongs.  Ensure that other adults can enjoy the holidays by securing your child on a couch, in front of a TV, playing on a console that allows me to never have to hear anything your kid says.  Those games function well without chat options.

Besides, you know if you want to mute junior, I do, too.

(Thanks to http://images.mmosite.com/news/2009/07/20/obama/oo01.jpg for the image.)

Cheryl Cole is still not ready to make amends in her feud with Lily Allen.

It may be the season of peace and goodwill, but the pair exchanged a war of words back in 2007, with the Girls Aloud star branding The Fear singer a “chick with a d**k” – and it seems she stands by her comments.

Cheryl told Q magazine: “She called my husband ‘horrendous’, then she called Nicola ‘ugly’ – for another female artist to call you ugly is so awful.”

Source

On the front page of the NYT sports section today: a piece (“The Last Word in Trash Talking”, by Greg Bishop) about Jets linebacker Bart Scott, who

talks trash freely and incessantly, all day, on any topic, on matters from petty to profound.

… Scott views trash talking as an art, or science. He has developed and refined his method. He has studied loquacious athletes [and pro wrestlers] from years past. And he has practiced, from the first day he tugged on a uniform all the way to Sunday, when he will unleash another torrent of mostly unprintable barbs on the Atlanta Falcons.

For Scott, trash talking is a weapon of intimidation, designed to throw opponents off balance. He starts with research on things he can use to distract them:

He scours ESPN, Google and scouting reports, which include pictures. He wants to understand the opponents he will talk to, understand what angers them, what makes them tick. He looks for police incidents, problems with wives or girlfriends, expanding stomachs, funny faces.

He then goes on to

mixing fact with fiction. Scott wants his barbs to be believable, but he often uses exaggerations, or lies disguised as truth, for maximum effect.

Scott is always prepared:

“I keep ammo on everybody, even if they never joked on me,” he said. “Because I will never be caught off-guard. No one will ever out-talk me. Ever.”

For obvious reasons, there aren’t many direct quotes in the story.

I don’t know if trash talking has been studied systematically, by sociolinguists, scholars of discourse, and the like. There’s a huge amount of material about verbal harassment, verbal abuse, and threats, but mostly from practical and legal standpoints.

Photo from craigCloutier via flickr

Two guys dressed casually in their 30s are walking toward me on the side walk. I’m a regular 24 year old girl walking around during lunch break at my 9-5 office job. They start yelling, “hey baby, why you lookin’ so good” and “DAMN!”. Annoyed, I roll my eyes as they pass by – that sets them off. They immediately start yelling, “you don’t look -that- good anyways!” and “what an ugly ho!” and continue with insults for another block.

Submitted by Jaylin on 12/17/2009

Location: K and 14th NW

Do you have a personal experience with gender-based public sexual harassment you would like to submit? Just click here and fill out the online submission form. All submissions are posted anonymously unless you specify.

Scripture

“Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.” 1 Peter 3:8-9 (NIV)

Observation

1 Peter reads so beautifully. I love the language he uses throughout these chapters, soothing words like harmony, gentle and quiet spirit, and clear conscience. He speaks of submission, service, spiritual gifts, grace, and humility. I wish I had read this a few weeks ago–for a refresher, and before I acted.

Struggling for years with a relational issue that I can’t seem to clearly define and have wondered so often what the right answer is, never feeling resolution with either of the options I waffled between: pursuing peace or just moving on and living in my own corner of the world with limited contact. From time to time, I had been determined to bless who (I perceived)  insulted me. I pursued peace because it was what I was called to do; but never meeting a satisfactory end, I recently gave up trying. All the while, I see my determination lacked humility, to start with.

Application

I have read this scripture before. Gobbled up advice in snippets. Clung to phrases that sounded churchy, like do not repay evil for evil. Got it. Except in my check-list haste  in wanting to do the right thing, I didn’t really take the time (then) to savor it all to see exactly what repaying with blessing might look like. That perhaps it would be accompanied by sympathy, love, compassion and humility. And not (just) a sense of duty.

Prayer

Thank you, God, for gently showing me how to live for you.

Courtney (66books365)

“[Thou] leathern-jerkin, crystal-button, knot-pated, agatering, puke-stocking, caddis-garter, smooth-tongue, Spanish pouch!”

Get thee to the Shakespearean Insulter for some seriously good one-liners.

-Kaks

I hate my Brit Lit class.

Not because of my teacher – I actually really like him.

Not because of the assignments – I’ll admit, there’s a lot of homework, but it’s managable.

Because of the other students.

They all take everything personally- differentiating interpretations of poetry, when you use a word they don’t know, when you answer a question when they knew the answer, too, but the teacher picked your hand first. It’s terrible.

And here’s the thing. I’m normally in AP English. But this year, there was a scheduling conflict with AP Englsih 12 and Advanced Music Concepts. My major is music, not English, so I took the music course (And thanks to Music Concepts, my first theory class in college will be mostly review).

But being in Brit Lit sucks.  I have a couple people who are also in choir around me in that class, so I tried venting to a friend I which thought would understand my frustration. Here’s how that conversation went:

           “Oh, my word. Everyone in this class takes everything personally! Everything. It’s so frustrating, you know?”
          ”….Oh, gee thanks.“

….Followed promptly by pouting and acting insulted. He took it personally! Irony – At one of its most irritating scenarios.

And I was all, “…Really, Nathan??” And he started to emo-ly mumble his argument about why his feelings are hurt and he’s insulted and his ego can’t handle my not-geared-towards-people-I-like irritation.

I glazed over, gave up, and put my head on the desk for the rest of class.

Overly-sensitive, ignorant people with low self esteems amd false senses of superiority who make mountains out of mole hills. That is what my Brit Lit class seems to be full of.

If you’re still reading this, I’m impressed.

Also, it’s our last week before Christmas Break. So all the teachers are assigning packets of homework and projects to do on our break and trying to get tests in before we’re ready for them before break. So the students are antsy and angsty and moody and lathargic and hormonal and hard to deal with and all any of anyone wants is more time, less stress, and for break to come ASAAAPPPP.

rrrrrrrrrrrr.

An insult is a mental and psychic attack.  The entire point of an insult is to hurt and to destroy.  If someone does not have the proper mental defenses in place an insult can do serious damage to a person’s self-esteem.  If a person’s will to live is weak or so severely damaged that it leads to suicide, then an insult can be a deadly assault.  It is a mistake to think that words cannot hurt a person.  Just because the damage is not physical does not make it unreal and does not mean that it does not have physical effects.  The hormones released by stress and pain do quite a bit of damage to the body and all of our internal systems, damage that builds up and compounds over time.

It is very easy to fall into the trap of trying to use insults to bully someone into changing.  If you believe that you know best, or that you have something that they need it is a natural reaction to use condescension and insults to try to force someone to change.  It is important to recognize, that even if a change is for the better, it is still not your choice to make.  It is not your responsibility to force others to change, even if that change is for the good.  All you do is add hurt, and make it that much harder for that person to grow and evolve.  Growth comes in its own time, and patience is a vital skill to develop.

It is a very bad idea to think that words cannot hurt.  Even a small hurt can cause lasting damage.  Think of how even a small cut can become infected, and recognize that the same principle applies to mental and emotional damage.  Even a little insult, especially from someone you love and trust can shatter confidence.  You can never really know how big an impact you are going to have on another person.

Do not take this as all bad though.  Especially men have a habit of bonding over insulting each other.  To my way of thinking this is the mental and psychic equivalent of cats play fighting to hone their hunting skills.  You verbally spar with those who are close to you to develop the mental defenses you need in life.  It can be a fun and bonding experience, the mental and emotional equivalent to taking a martial arts class together.  Now, just like actual sparring people can still be hurt by this, so keep an eye out for hitting a spot that is too sensitive.  But, sometimes getting hurt is part of how you learn to defend yourself.

It is important to develop the mental defenses that allow you to handle insults without being too hurt.  These are based mostly on recognizing your own value and in having faith in yourself.  If you truly know that you are a good person, then it matters very little what anyone else thinks.  Insults do not actually mean that there is anything wrong with you.  Even if a flaw is present all an insult really tells you is that the person who insulted you is lacking in love, understanding, and compassion.  Learn to forgive yourself and to accept yourself, and it will not truly matter what anyone else thinks or feels.

It is hard to avoid meeting people don’t really care about you or who think they know what is best for you.  It is part of living with people that sometimes, some of them will say hurtful things.  But, you do have the strength inside to deal with it.  You can develop the love and understanding that allow you to harmlessly deflect the negativity others send your way.

Now, I realize that sometimes people can’t get a proper grasp on the subject of which they are trying to argue, however, always falling back on twisting others’ words and then ending it with an insult is the worst way to argue a point. It pretty much just makes the point moot, as it shows your lack of ability to argue a point correctly. Maybe debate should be a mandatory course in high school so that those fresh-outa-schoolers with the attitude that they can take on the world, and they have seen everything, can at least argue their points effectively.  I am completely sick of going on facebook, or whatever, and seeing someone write a note, which they are entirely within their rights to do, have someone post their opinion as a responce, and then the original author decides to use that as an invitation to be internet-tough and throw around insults like a fucking baby.

Get the fuck over yourself, people have opinions. We are not in a totalitarian regime.  We are a country of free speech (or whatever blah blah Michael Moore) and free opinions and it actually doesn’t cost anything. However, when you put your opinion out in public, expect some backlash. If you can’t take it in a mature, adult kind of way, then don’t put it out there. DON’T SHOW THE GOODS IF YER NOT GOING TO TAKE OFF YER PANTIES. Ya get my drift?

Ok.

Gotta love this pic, which comes from a magazine in the UK. Neat, eh?

The thrilling conclusion! To recap, Part I and Part II

*****

This was not what we had in mind.

“I am a disappointment to my family. My technical skills are substandard relative to my peers. I am needlessly ungainly in appearance. My ambition is unacceptably low and my achievement level reflects that fact. My parents desired a female child.” He sniffed. “And I smell funny!”

And then Nathan forced a grin, and held it at us for an eternity in three seconds. And we broke, terrified of the tsunami that a three-eyed alien’s tears may cause.

“No, you’re okay,” I assured him.

“Really terrific,” Carla agreed.

“I know I am,” he replied. “But this is fun.”

And so the abuse session continued, Carla and I levying complaints about Nathan and he detailing the shortcomings of some proto-Nathan that was him but simultaneously was wholly disconnected from him.

This Nathan was selfish and miserly and unkind to people and animals in occasionally criminal ways. He deserved his exile, the real Nathan flatly declared, and probably worse. As the self-abuse continued, most shreds of pity I felt evaporated. The individual that Nathan decried was a work of fiction, another elaborate construction for the benefit of Nathan’s guests.

That’s not to say that I didn’t enjoy it. Complaining is one of the great simple joys of life. My father is pretty strict about denying it; growing up if I did complain about something, or if I seemed like I was about to, he would cut me off with “I didn’t build my business by complaining—I built my business by doing something about it!” So I don’t have a whole lot of opportunity to do so. But man, when you know that there’s nobody there who’s going to complain about your complaining, it just feels good. When we’d exhausted our issues with Nathan, we moved on to a whole host of other topics: our regular jobs, defects in our apartments, mean people, the notoriously slow sandwich shop next to our office, and politics. (Carla participated in this last topic with relish, but she only ever referred to “the president,” which suggests that she doesn’t actually know his name. Given her laser focus on computers and comic books, this is plausible.)

With this mild euphoria in the air, Nathan’s announcement that the evening was at an end came abruptly, and for the first time, before rage had set in. He did examine our evening’s production before letting us go to bed. “Excellent, excellent,” he judged my work, a fuzzy yellow rectangle maybe seven inches wide and ten long. “And very nice work,” he commented on Carla’s which was a bit longer and a bit narrower,  deep forest green, and completely unfuzzy.

“And mine,” he said, tossing completed hats to both Carla and I. Nice hats. Carla’s was bright red with a blue lightning bolt on one side and a blue pompom on top, while mine was black with little gray flecks. Mine also had these ludicrously long flaps that would cover my ears. They looked silly, but intentionally so, and therefore cool rather than clueless. I would definitely wear it.

“For your comfort while sleeping,” Nathan explained. Carla or I, or more likely both, must have betrayed our terror at this idea. “A joke,” he amended. “These winter hats are intended for use during winter.

We thanked him sincerely—these were very nice hats, after all—and prepared for bed.

Part I. Part III coming tomorrow.

*****

“Perhaps you, Marty. Do you have anything that you wish to bitch about?”

He said it so conversationally, so pleasantly, that I just had to match his tone.

“Well, yes, Nathan. You, actually.” Carla started. I don’t think she expected the conversation to turn this way. “You see, you seem to be under the impression that we’re here willingly and helping you willingly. But in fact you’ve got us captured here like we’re sheep. And that’s really not very pleasant at all. We only get off of this ship maybe once a week when we go shopping, and that’s only because you’re too incompetent at it to know what food to buy. You hardly even let us up into the cockpit, so we can’t even see the outside. There may not be an outside, for all we know.”

Carla joined in. “The work that you’re making us do is boring and stupid and hopeless. It’s not the way I wanted to spend my vacation time. And we all know that Marty’s dad is going to consider this vacation time, and we’re going to be in the hole for, like, the next three years because you won’t let us go home.”

“And then there’s the evenings,” I added, taking over from Carla seamlessly when she took a breath. “And this is really the biggest point, because these events that you plan are nothing more than torture. If Carla and I wished to ballroom dance, we would have done so back on earth, by perhaps taking lessons, in a ballroom, with music, and people who know how to dance, rather than here, on a table, with an alien whose only connection to dance is having overheard the word in conversation at some point. We don’t ever wish to participate in a long jump competition, particularly not when that long jump competition lasts for more than four hours, despite having fewer than four contestants. And—oh, this is important—Debate a Philosophy night is something that can only legally be inflicted upon death row inmates and exceptionally pretentious college students who may be high!”

“You talk funny!” Carla interjected. “Use a fucking contraction! It’s not difficult! You can calculate ten to the five billion different checkers moves, so why can’t you understand that when you have the word ‘not’, it’s okay to replace the ‘o’ with an apostrophe and smush the whole thing together with the other word. The calculations are way simpler and you don’t sound like a jackass!”

The volume was rising, and making a pleasant echo against the metal shelves. “You have this whole room here, and it’s called a library. Get some books! Not metal plates that are painted to look like books, and not boxes that are painted to look like books even though they’re empty. Actual real books-that-have-words books!”

“Your computers suck!”

“You’re on earth now. Buy a frickin’ television!”

“I mean it! Your computers really suck!”

“I am a defective artist!” Nathan screamed.

I’m pretty sure this one is smarter than the terrier.

dogz. yuk. y do hoominz insist on havin dem?

Picture by: Yanko Design Caption by: ImWoodChuck via Advanced Lol Builder

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BNP’s Griffin is not a twat – I will not have any part of my body insulted in that way.

Facebook status of mine that I would like to enshrine in glory for its wit

My sister called to tell me she thought her husband might have paid her a compliment but she wasn‘t sure because it was sort of insulting also. I suggested that we have to take the compliments any way we can get them these days.

He told her that she was a good-looking middle aged woman.

I told her that she should have kissed him on the cheek and thanked him for saying she was good-looking. Then, she should have whacked him over the head and told him that was for calling her middle aged.

To make up for it he said I meant you’ve really aged gracefully.

My sister and I then started thinking about the “not so compliments” we’ve received in the past. I’ve decided to share them with you.

You have such a pretty face for a large girl.

You meant for it to look that way…how creative.

No, your butt doesn’t look too wide in those jeans.

I was really surprised to find out how intelligent you are since you’re a country girl.

Wow, you really do sort of know what you’re doing.

You look pretty good to have such old kids.

You don’t look like you weigh that much.

You look great with all that extra weight you packed on this winter.

I’ve never seen someone your size wolf down so much food at one sitting.

You look fantastic. Then in the next breath – unbelievable how much better you look than when you were in high school.

Have you ever received any “compliments” that you wish you hadn’t?

A recent Language Log posting of mine on the rise of douche as an insult (directed at people) elicited a number of comments on the older, longer insult douchebag. And now (I suppose predictably) we have the portmanteau douchefag, which I came across in a feature in the December 2009 issue of Details magazine but which seems to have been around for a while.

(Details is aimed at cool guys, both straight and gay.)

The piece is entitled “The Rise of the Douchefag” — announced on the cover as “Introducing the G-Bag: A Guide to the Gay Douchebag” and summarized inside this way:

The fist-bumping, Bluetooth-wearing dude’s dude isn’t the only tool in the box. Meet the douchefag–a plucked, preened party boy who’s taken being gay to new depths of tackiness.

After that it’s a side-by-side snarky comparison between Gay and Gay Douchebag, with items like:

Bleaches teeth VS. Bleaches anus

Dead lifts to shape his butt VS. Buys shapewear to dead lift his butt

Buys a Beckham jersey on eBay VS. Buys Beckham’s underwear on eBay

Posts sleeveless pictures on Connexion VS. Posts pantsless pictures on Manhunt

It goes on and on.

I’m doing it. I’m opening up my Shakespearean Insult Gum.

Let’s see, so many choices. I’m going to go with MacBeth, that’s gotta have some good insults in it. Here we are, two gumballs. Pop one in my mouth. Chew, chew. Let’s see how we’re doing for an insult:

“Hang yourself, you muddy corger.”

This is actually an insult from Henry IV, Part 2, not sure what that’s about.

Let’s try another. How ’bout King Lear?

The gum turns out to have little flavor or lasting power, so that’s a minus. Here we are, King Lear:

“How foul and loathsome is thine image.”

An insult from The Taming of the Shrew. So it seems that there is little correlation between what the cover of the “book” says and which play the insult is drawn from.

If my little play-by-play doesn’t give you enough of a sense of the experience of Shakespearean Insult Gum, this little video will.

Overall, I would say that the excitement and amusement over discovering Shakespearean Insult Gum greatly outweigh my actual experience of the gum. In retrospect, probably much funnier not to unwrap the package and just show it to your word nerd friends, who will be green with envy over the perfect word nerdiness of Shakespearean Insult Gum. 

And by the way: “Thy breath stinks with eating toasted cheese.” Just sayin’.

I’m going to start this blog off with my current situation with Verizon Wireless. The company has built itself many layers of “customer service” each one built so that the customer gets lost in the shuffle, so that the customer is placed on hold, transferred about, but never once is a true customer complaint ever answered.

Here is the start of my fun. When I was officially switched over to Verizon Wireless from Alltel, I lost my government discount of 12%, when I called in about getting the Verizon government discount I was told “You are on an Alltel contract so we can’t apply your government discount.” Which gave me status as a 2nd class customer with Verizon. after many phone calls, more then needed, because no one from that company calls you back as promised, the company actually realized what they were doing to all former Alltel customers with government discounts(and I’m sure all company discounts) was wrong. They offered a compromise of ending my Alltel contract without penalty, if I agreed to sign up for a Verizon account, with new phone. Being the type of person I am, I also said I should get a bigger discount since I was put through so much, Verizon agreed, and I got my new Motorola Droid phone for $75.

If a company offers so much to a customer that points out an error, it means the customer caught the company doing something not right. I did.

This is poor customer service, because if pointing out being a 2nd class customer doesn’t alarm a company then they need to rethink how they approach customer service.

So, any other Alltel customer’s that are reading this, you can get a better discount by switching to a Verizon account, if they won’t let you, email me and I’ll tell you what you have to say and to whom to speak to.

My youngest thinks that it is a major insult to say to her sister that she has a “Continental Smiling Problem…”
What’s worse is that my eldest laughs when she hears this, thus making the younger kid mad as hell.

But what does a “Continental Smiling Problem” mean? I think I need a translator…

So I read a post from a Facebook friend.  I actually have no idea if I’ve ever met her in person, but she thought she has met me.  She made some statements that I don’t think are true and actually are rather… for lack of a better word.. accepting of some of her fellow homos.

One of my Rants on the Phrase No Homo

I would like to make a comment in response to all of those people who say that there’s nothing wrong with being gay, but that they get angry when people think they’re gay when they’re actually straight (saying this is why they use the phrase “no homo”). People who are gay, lesbian and bisexual have to deal with this on a daily basis and it irritates us all the time. We are always assumed to be straight (until otherwise stated) and people think nothing of it. We are constantly hit on by people of the opposite sex (gay/lesbian), but no one sees anything wrong with that. Even AFTER we say that we are not attracted to the opposite sex (or are attracted to both sexes), no one says anything about harassment if someone of the opposite sex tries to hit on us. Our sexuality is not even questioned (to those who complain that they feel that their sexuality is always being question), because we are automatically assumed to be straight (WHAT WE ARE NOT).

People would look at us funny if we went around saying “no hetero” after every phrase, but it’s ok when people say “no homo”. Why is that? Because people see hetero is “right” and “normal” so to be assumed to be straight, to them is not a problem. On the other hand, to be assumed as gay is the biggest insult ever. There’s no way people can say that they are not against sexual minorities, but still defend the use of that phrase.

This also goes for those who say “I’m not gay, but”, before defending us. That’s just as bad as being against us.

First off-  I don’t think the people who are using ‘no homo’ ever actually say there is nothing wrong with being gay.  In my experience it is usually Cha’ches, frat boys, dudes, bros, and brahs.  If they do say that there is nothing wrong with being gay it is probably in front of a gay person and don’t want to piss him/her off.  But in private with their buddies will flagrantly say anti-gay remarks.  I would at least hope that if a person thinks there is nothing wrong with being gay that they understand that there is nothing wrong with showing platonic intimacy.

Could there be something about this NO Homo business though?  I mean if straight men are actually performing acts that they would never have done before are they also acknowledging the fact that men can be intimate in public without being sexually attracted to each other?  That maybe if a gay man is being friendly to them it doesn’t mean he wants in his pants.

Well probably not because the people saying it are probably assholes, but maybe one day someone can sit down and explain it to them.  However, it probably won’t be you because you feel that it isn’t your duty to be their educator.  I might ask you to consider though.  It is hard to change your personality after 25, catch them now before it is too late.

Secondly- I’m glad that you are able to coexist in society without appearing different to the majority of individuals around you.  I’m glad you feel like yourself without fucking with gender.   However, some of us are not so lucky.  Colleen McCarthy in seventh grade, before we were friends, knew I was gay.  I can walk down the street in normal attire and be marked as gay.  I’m pretty sure dogs and dead people know I’m gay, so I don’t think it is about my artificial accessories.

And I think it is upsetting that many of us are automatically marked as gay.  I know that I got hate crimed because I was fucking with gender and wearing items that were/are not ‘masculine’.  And I knew it wasn’t okay to not call the police but for some reason in my mind I was thinking that they would just say “You were asking for it.”  Like a girl who wears a low-cut top.

Most gay/lesbian people I know don’t want to be asked if they are gay or lesbian.  Most people say it isn’t okay to just ask someone because if they were it is their place to come out to you. So what have we been teaching them?  Can we be angry at them for being attracted to us? No, the same way we don’t want them to get angry that we are attracted to them?

Third- Of course it is sexual harassment.  Why wouldn’t it be?  If it wasn’t sexual harassment to hit on someone of the opposite sex then those professors dreamin on those sorostitutes wouldn’t have left their offices so quickly.

And I have used no hetero.  But I mostly use it when talking to men.  But I’m thinking about using it while talking to women.

-EPF