I had my first round of captioning training today. The first modules were all about introduction to the software, and the basic abbreviations. Here are some examples:

jj = judge

u = you

y = your

t = the

wi = without

kmptr = computer

The training is about 40 – 60 hours, so insha Allah with a lot of perseverance and practice I will be captioning like a pro in no time!

There is also an option in the software to create and edit custom dictionaries. I can already see it now, a Muslim captioning dictionary!

prftm = Prophet Muhmmad (SAW)

rsl = Rasulullah (SAW)

slh = salaah

l = La ilaha illalala,

m = muhammadur rasulullah

lm = la ilaha ilalla muhammadur rasulullah

almgrb = Al-Maghrib Institute

Some of these may be ill-conceived, and “rsl” might already stand for something, like “resale.” But I’ll tweak it as I go along.

I completely give up on my Day: system. Its too boring to try and find a post EVERY day, and I just can’t keep up with it. I still should be posting a few every week, but I just can’t do one every day.

Anyways, I got a wave invite from a friend the other day, and so have been using wave a lot lately. In total, my friends and I have posted 1125 posts to waves that I have been a part of. 758 of those have been in waves back and forth between one friend and I. Wave is like an instant messenger conversation, but so much more useful.

The ability to send image and files, as well as to be able to read someone’s post as they type makes it incredibly efficient. It also makes it easy to poke fun at their mistakes as they correct them.

My friends and I have started working on getting a D&D game going within wave, partially to test out wave, and partially to actually play a game of D&D.

We found a dice “app” for wave, which actually is a bot that you add to the conversation, which takes someone’s typing of XdY and calculates it out, then places the result right after the XdY. It then colours the result in yellow, and the roll in grey, and if you edit either of them afterwards, it highlights it all in red, to show that it has been tampered with.

Example, 2d6 (9)

Dorman’s Interlude

Mr Dorman says:
Whoever invented rice krispy treats deserves a nobel prize

Semper Verus, Semper Nefas

Semperverus: update with something about ramens, wave, and a dorman’s interlude next to a Semper Verus, Semper Nefas.

Anyways, Ramen is actually good when not overcooked. I was always used to slimy ramen at home, so i never ate it. Now, making it with water heated in the microwave, it tastes pretty good.

I didn’t have a fork or spoon or anything, so I ate my first ramen thing here with a pair of needle-nose pliers. Since, I managed to get my hand on a set of chopsticks from the dining hall, and have been eating it with that.

Interlude: Alan Carson, Grace Maxwell, Jonathan Maxwell, Graham Franklin and Lucinda Franklin are 42, Carl and Catherine Smythe are 37, Patrick and Miranda Drew are 24, Deni Carson, Damien Maxwell, Jennifer Franklin and Toby Franklin are 17, Lily Smythe, Rosie Smythe, Liesel Maxwell, Amelia Franklin and Logan Franklin are 9, Lucas Maxwell is 4 (Townies: Camryn Jensen is 30).

“Look like a good turn out here.” said Graham Franklin

This lovely Summer day was prefect enough for the Vision Valley Day Church’s annual family picnic. No cloud was in the sky and the park was abundant with food, games and entertainment hired out by Graham.

“Everybody, please don’t eat these lollies. They taste weird. Ah my jaw hurts.” Jonathan informed.

Sadly, everyone ignored his warning and dived right in.

“I don’t feel so good.”

Amelia, Rosie, Lily and Lucas went off and investigated the living statue.

“How can he stay so still?” Amelia pondered.

“How about we let off some bottle rockets and try to scare him?” yelled Lily, always wanting to get into mischief.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea you know,” Rosie advised “but he is so good!”

As a four-year old, Lucas thought that living statues was rather creepy; changing positions then staying still.

Logan wasn’t interested with the living statue. He just walk to the playground and rode on the merry-go-round. (NB: Yes, I know there’s a fight going on in the background. It was between Deni and Grace, possibly caused by the party treats from SimSlice. You’ll see photos from it in an outtakes post from this round in the near future.)

Just as everyone was getting hot dogs and food platters, grey clouds started to come in. But the picnic will still go ahead, whether in rain, hail or shine.

Everyone had different views about the sudden downpour.

“We shouldn’t let a little downpour ruin our fun.”

‘This picnic is such a bomb!”

“Honey, not in front of this kid here.”

“Er…hello? Hello? Is this thing on?” Graham said out loud as the microphone squealed and tapped.

“Uh, I would like to thank everyone for coming out here for the annual family picnic. I hope we’ll have fun for the rest of the day. I would thank some people whom, without their help, this wouldn’t be possible. I would like to thank Alan Carlson for the BBQ duties. For Grace Maxwell for bringing out the soccer nets. And one big round of applause for Catherine Smythe, for the catering side of the event. She did an excellent job of supplying the salads and cakes and with her gifted hands.”

He just had to emphasise about my major role in this event Catherine thought to herself.

Just then, a lightning bolt came out of the sky and struck a birch tree.

The whole ran over to the burning tree. Is this a bad as the picnic will get?

“Are you alright?” Graham asked Catherine.

“Please stop it.”

“Stop what?”

“This affair. The compassion. The sexual interest. It was only one time. I felt guilty about it. This is just wrong.”

Sadly, Catherine spoked a little too loud for everyone to find out about their affair. The skies cleared up when everyone realised their dirty little secret.

“How could you? I thought we had a great sex life? Why would you become such a dirty love rat?”

“How dare you cheat with my husband?” Lucinda yelled as she attacked Catherine. Everyone looked on (and somehow cheered?) as the two women fought each other.

Catherine had become the village idiot. A stupid mistake caused her to ruin a family picnic, lose in a fight and lost the trust of her husband. The picnic ended there on what would be Catherine’s most humiliating and embarrassing moment of her life.

###

Author’s Notes:

Well, the affair had to be stopped one way or another. Catherine still had feeling for Carl and didn’t really have much sexual desire for Graham as he does for her. I wonder how the aftermath will pave out.

The title comes from a lyric in the OutKast song Ms Jackson (You can plan a pretty picnic but you can’t predict the weather…) that pretty sums up this event. There’s also a good cover of it by The Vines if you want to check it out. It’s a melodic acoustic version without the rap verses.

‘Nuff said.

Song:Say Yeah
Artist: KISS
Album: SONIC BOOM
Transcribed by: MXFNCK (mxfnck@hotmail.com)

Tune one half step down. The chords are not relative to this. An E chord would in
fact be an Eb. Listen to the song for timing et cetera.

-INTRO-

play once:

e--------------|
B--------------|
G--------------|
D--77-9--------|
A--55-7--------|
E--------------|

Intro chord sequence (open chords).
Listen to the song for timing and picking, it's fairly easy.
(Note that this progression is the same as in Bruce Springsteen's 'Radio Nowhere'
and in the Cranberries' 'Zombie')

Em, C, G, D (4x)

-VERSE-, these are power chords:

E5            C5         D5               E5            D5 E5
You, you're living your life when you're dreaming
         E5             C5         D5        E5         D5 E5
Late at night you're hearing my voice in your head

-PRE-CHORUS-

G5                    A5
It's time you see what it's all about

G5                            A5    B5
There's one cure and there's no way out

-CHORUS-

C                 G   D
I don't wanna hear you might
There's a fire gettin' near and sparks ignite
If you're ready for a wild ride

(Here you play the same open chords as in the intro chord sequence)
                       Em     C    G    D
Let me hear you say yeah (yeah, yeah, yeah)
        Em     C    G    D
Say yeah (yeah, yeah, yeah)

-BRIDGE-

F
Who knows where we'll be in the morning
C  G
    I know we're here tonight
C    F
   Get uptight and it all gets so boring
D
It takes two to make you come alive
C  D
   Take my hand, kiss your fears goodbye
C   D
  There's something here that we can't deny

-During the SOLO, play the verse chord sequence-

-Interlude-
                           C   G    D
Well, let me hear you say it
                            C   G   D
Well, I wanna hear you say it
                              Em   C  G      D
Well, let me hear you say yeah (yeah, yeah, yeah)
        Em  C   G     D
Say yeah (yeah, yeah, yeah)

And then finish the whole thing up by repeating the chorus, and conclude with a nice C5 D5

When put together you play this (the conventional rock n roll anthem recipe):
Intro
Verse
Pre Chorus
Chorus
Verse
Pre Chorus
Chorus
Bridge
Solo
Pre Chorus
Interlude
Repeat Chorus

Cheers,

Max

So I am freshly showered and good to go. I was feeling kinda iffy for a while when I came home after 6 hours of back-to-back students and faceplanted on the couch.

I considered moaning piteously, and then dozed for a bit.

Now I’m just waiting for The Sister to arrive home, let her freshen up, and we will grab our tickets and it’s off to see New Moon. I’m only coming along to fight the hoards of teeming, screaming tweens. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

Of course, I’m going to time the precise moment to pop two bags of popcorn to take with us. If the ticket-ripper throws any questions at us, we’ll just use the time-honored “special Muslim diet” response. That usually shuts ‘em up. It’s true, though. We’re too special to accept the exorbitant movie theatre popcorn prices. And do they KNOW how many calories are in one box? It was spattered all over the news today. I saw news anchors holding up personal pan pizzas and cheeseburgers to show the relative caloric intake. ¡Qué horror!

I participated in the math fair today at school and won a free t-shirt. What whaaat. I was going too fast on one of the problems (and messing up like nobody’s business) and the professori manning the table was like, “Wait, madam, you are going too fast for me! It is not a raaaace.” Heh.

I’m home from New Mexico, now. I was finishing up my last few days of work (yay! done!), and taking photos for an ayurvedic post-partum cookbook that my mom is working on. I’m sure some of those will surface before long, but I know I’ll get distracted if I download those to my laptop, so I’m not going to look at them until I’m in NY.

Packing packing packing. The movers come on Sunday!

All Time Low
Hello Brooklyn
Nothing Personal
2009
Submitted by: paramore_fans@yahoo.com

Key: B,D, A

Tuning: Standard EADGBe

Chords used:
B -   x24442
Bm -  x24432
D -   xx0232
A -   x02220
Em -  022000
E -   022100
F# -  244322
F#m - 244222
Dm -  xx0231

Intro: B-E-A-F#-

Verse 1:
B          E
  This city so pretty
          A
Under the moonlit skies we'll
   F#
be hanging like a cigarette
B            E
  So stunning, start running
  A
Tonight's like a knife would
    F#
you cut me with your kiss?
    Bm
I believe, red lips
       Em       A
you're unbelievable
                F#
Can't miss this chance
           Bm
to take you  out
          Em        Em
here's my invitation

Chorus:
      A             E
Hello Brooklyn hey LA
          Bm
Take the streets all night
          D
Cause we sleep all day
         A
When the world
               E
comes crashing down
               Bm    D
Who's ready to party?
      A             E
Hello Brooklyn hey LA
         Bm
Coast to coast
              D
I'll take you down in flames
        A
Let the good times roll
E
We can let go
Bm
Everybody knows there's a
D
party at the end of the world

Interlude:
A          E
  Whoa, whoa, whoa, oh
Bm         D
  Whoa, whoa, whoa, oh

Verse 2:
Bm         Em
  This city  was your city
A
Heels on the sidewalk
F#
begging for a back beat
Bm           Em
  Don't worry  I fight dirty
  A
Tonights like a right hook
F#
knock you off your feet
     Bm             Em       A
I'll be yours truly unbelievable
                F#
Can't miss this chance to
        Bm                Em        Em
take you  out here's your invitation

(Repeat Chorus)

Bridge:
F#m
   Kiss it all goodbye
E
   Tonight you've
           D
never been more alive
       E
You're so alive
F#m
   You're not afraid to die
E
  And I can see it
        D            Dm
in your eyes In your eyes

(Repeat Chorus)

Outro:
A       E     Bm      D
  London Tokyo  Boston Frisco
A   E       Bm
  DC Chicago  Baltimore
(There's a party at
the end of the world)
D        A       E   Bm
  Toronto Memphis Rio  Dublin
D       A     E
  Mexico Paris here we go
Bm
Everybody knows there's a
D                            A(hold)
party at the end of the world

Last night, I tried to get a glimpse of the Leonid meteor shower, even though tonight is considered the grand show. I was not disappointed. I pulled out a recliner into the backyard and just watched the sky. It was a perfectly clear, crisp night and the stars seemed so bright, so much more brighter than I could remember. And so much more numerous.

I was watching for a while before I saw the first one. It streaked across the sky and it didn’t fizzle out immediately. It pulled across the sky in a slow burn. Subhanallah, I have never seen anything like it. And it was big! Not the tiny flecks I remember seeing as a kid, face tilted to the heavens as I would lay on the deck of the house I grew up in.

I saw a total of three last night. I actually fell asleep for a few minutes, because I jerked awake with that stomach-in-throat feeling like I was falling.

The stars are so much brighter down here.

I’ve been enjoying the class so much. I feel like something in me is shifting and resettling properly, like a puzzle piece that I’ve been trying to wedge into the wrong spot for so long that found it’s rightful place.

وَلَقَدْ جَعَلْنَا فِي السَّمَاء بُرُوجًا وَزَيَّنَّاهَا لِلنَّاظِرِينَ

And indeed, we have set up in the heavens great constellations, and endowed them with beauty for all to behold;

وَحَفِظْنَاهَا مِن كُلِّ شَيْطَانٍ رَّجِيمٍ

And we have made them secure against every satanic force accursed-

إِلاَّ مَنِ اسْتَرَقَ السَّمْعَ فَأَتْبَعَهُ شِهَابٌ مُّبِينٌ

so anyone that seeks to learn (the unknowable) by stealth is pursued by a flame clear to see.

Surah al-Hijr (The Rocky Tract): 16 – 18

You can use the Fluximator to find the best time to watch the Leonid meteor shower in your area. Bring some popcorn and cheer on the angels.

After months in the studio, working with the hottest indie producers around the world, LX SETH is finally ready to unveil his next installment entitled X. The album is a classic pop record with all the trimmings. The album which has a twelve track lineup features some of the hottest melodies and production South Africa has seen from an Indian pop artist. This is Seth’s official second album since his debut, OFF THE HOOK, with Indian company T-SERIES (India’s largest record label). The album is an exciting mix of cultures and sounds. “It’s taken me months to put this record together, and I can honestly say it’s some of the best work I have ever done. My dream was always to do a album with classic pop beats and great driving melodies, and I can honestly say this album has it all. The death of MJ really impacted the album, once I got news of his death, at the time I was shooting the first video off the album for DO YOU, it really changes the landscape of the album, and I’m proud to deliver X to audiences that enjoyed OFF THE HOOK, and off course create a new fan base” Said SETH. The Album will launch at Durban’s new HOTSPOT SUCASA on the 5 December 2009. Seth is also working on a side project with the first Indian female DJ DJ Roxxi, the album is entitled LOVE MONEY, POWER, this album should be released in Jan 2010. The first single of their colab HIT ME will be featured on X, and the music video for the single will be shot on DECEMBER 1 AND 2 AT SUCASA. The video will be directed by Riyash Misra, who has given SETH a 15 music video deal, which means that every single on X will have a music video. Misra is known for his artistic music videos, and is a force to be reckoned with behind the camera, Auditions for the Video start on 24 November 2009 at 10am at SUCASA. a SNEAK PREVIEW OF THE ALBUM CAN BE FOUND AT:

www.myspace.com/mrlxseth

Artist : LX SETH
ALBUM : X
Track Listing
Intro (What ye looking at )
Hit me
Something new
Power
Interlude
Attitude Efx
Stolen
Turn me on
Sorry
Pretty
Tell me

The speaker today was really funny, and interesting…the speech was really short though.

heh.

It was about…either getting rid of your fears, or something like that…and about the ”perfect” love of God.

And there was…Confess, Abide, and Perfect….Cap…

Ok, I was sorta listening, but it didn’t sink in, which isn’t good.

But fears are interesting…and everyone has them. Something you’re afraid of losing. Not like clowns or spiders, but like, getting a B+ on a test, or something like that.

lolz. and he kept making references to how we were Mission students.

yeeeessss sir. yes sir. mhm.

yeah. Afterwards we played…I have never? or ten fingers. It was funny, I guess.

I have never eaten a complete orange!

hahaa. Everyone’s really nice…

Afterwards, we stayed for about an hour….talking, about random things, including how all those things we discuss in health seem surreal.

Well, not in health, and not exactly surreal; but stuff like gangs, rape, STDs, etc.

It’s not that it’s not present here…but it’s just not as common as it would be, I think, in other schools.

As my friend told me, her teacher said that we live in an ivory tower…and insulated one.

I think we are…is that a bad thing?

~~~

sigh. >< after ten was sort of awkward…oh, I, Claudius is actually much more interesting than I thought it’d be. And no, not in a bad way.

Today, I locked my keys in my car when I went to work. I parked, killed the engine, and left the keys on the seat while I rummaged through my bag for something. I got out, locked up, and walked inside, forgetting my keys on the seat. I didn’t even realize it until I left work and my keys weren’t in my bag. First I patted my pockets down, then I peered through the window. Sure enough, there they were, sitting on a UMF Eid-ul-Adha flyer, mocking me. Maybe that’s why I didn’t see ‘em, they were blending in with the roller coaster design on the front. I called my sister, but she was in class, so I called my mom, who was home. Alhamdulillah, we live right down the street so it wasn’t more than 15 minutes before my mom had arrived, with keys AND pizza. <3

When we got home, my grandma was like, “Arey I wanted to come but your mom didn’t take me!” I was like, “Nani,  it was a rescue mission! Dangerous!”

From the bedroom my mom called, “She didn’t want me to go, she said tell her just call the police–”

(I overheard it as, “I told her she should just call the police!”)

“Wait, what, you told nani I should just call the police–”

“–or tee-ripple-A!”

Suddenly my brain went chic-chic-chic because there was no mistaking that affected accent.

“Oh,” I laughed. “I thought you said I should’ve called the police.”

My mom bust out with this half-giggle, half-snort and then we were in hysterics. As we were laughing, Nani started regaling us with a tale about how my cousin got locked in the minivan 10 years ago in Miami. My cousin came over, and when I told her we quickly established this was a story that had been told many, many times.

Al-Maghrib tomorrow. I’m iksytid. <– I took a phonetic test today at university to see if I qualify for the captioning training being offered. They give you a word (okay, 50 words) like “coffee” and you have to write it out exactly as you think it sounds, so “kofi.” Physics is “fiziks.” There was other grammar stuff, but that was pretty easy and I hope I hear back from them. I’m already getting messed up though. I requested a mic today and in my notes I wrote “microfone” instead of “microphone.” Although, from a scientific point of view, the former is more correct. Doing the phonetic testing reminded me of writing Arabic/Urdu. In the captioning, you don’t write “physics” you simply write “fzks.” No vowel sounds, just like with Arabic and Urdu.

So, we had a bomb threat at school a little while ago. I arrived on campus to find the Mall area swarming with cops and yellow police tape. As I walked through the campus I heard bits and pieces, with the rumor being there was a student who had a gun.

Here is what is known so far:

http://knightnews.com/2009/11/breaking-ucf-police-swarm-classroom-1-hpa/

http://news.ucf.edu/UCFnews/index?page=article&id=002400413702bfed0124310819fb0034ae

www.reclaimingtheblade.com
Acheter (Europe)

Documentaire (en anglais) sur la fabrication et l’utilisation d’une arme tombée en désuétude, supplantée par les armes à feu : l’épée, depuis les conflits antiques jusqu’aux studios d’Hollywood.

Le commentaire est dit par John Rhys-David, acteur Gallois célèbre pour ses rôles dans Indiana Jones et Le Seigneur des Anneaux (il y joue le nain Gimli), mais connu aussi pour avoir déclaré :

« Je pense que Tolkien [l’auteur du Seigneur des anneaux] annonce que certaines générations devront faire face à un défi. Si elles ne se réveillent pas pour faire face à ce défi, elles perdront leur civilisation. Et je me sens très concerné par cela. [...] Je défend la culture traditionnelle de l’homme blanc. Nombreux sont ceux qui ne voient pas combien la civilisation occidentale est précaire, et qui n’en comprennent pas la beauté [...]. L’accroissement des populations musulmanes en Europe est une catastrophe démographique qui menace la civilisation occidentale [...]. Personne ne veut en parler, personne n’ose en parler, parce que nous sommes très attentifs à ne pas offenser les gens racialement. [...]. En 2050, 50 % des enfants de Hollande seront d’ascendance musulmane. [...] Oui, je suis à fond pour la culture traditionnelle de l’homme blanc. C’est une sacrément belle civilisation, une civilisation merveilleuse et formidable . Ça n’exclut pas les autres cultures, mais ça ne diminue certainement pas la mienne. ».

So, today I noticed that Rideo has passed the 2,000 view mark. It may not be much, in comparison to the bigger blogs, but its quite a lot to me. Also, on a slightly related note, my deviantArt account, as a write this, has 2,006 pageveiws. My deviantArt account is over 3 years old, and this one is… just slightly over a year old. Below is a modified copy of one of the avatars I posted last week. Also, a character avatar for more nerdiness.

   Dorman’s Interlude:

Alex: I was listening to ambient music last night, and in my dream someone was playing the same melody on a piano

Wallpaper corner:

Yay for random wallpapers. Do note, I did not make theses.

Yesterday, I went to Ulta to get my hair did. As the hairdresser was snipping away, we started talking. Inevitably, we wandered to the topic of religion. Because of the fact that I wear hijab, and always request an alcove to the side where no one can see, any hairdresser I go to is always curious. At one point I was explaining the difference between our beliefs about Prophet Isa [Jesus], upon him be peace.

“We revere Jesus as a prophet, not as the–”

“What?” my hairdresser interjected. “You revere Judas?”

Heh. My powers of enunciation leave much to be desired. I repeated myself again, making sure to emphasize JEEESUUS.

We also discussed Slumdog Millionaire, the new movie Precious, how Jamaicans got their curry (from Desi people), and how to balance style with hijab.

I find the name “Ulta” amusing, because in Urdu it means upside down, or not as it should be. Thankfully, she didn’t do an “ulta” job on my hair.

Grace Maxwell is 41, Deni Carson, Damien Maxwell, Jennifer and Toby Franklin are 16.

Soundtrack: Island In The Sun-Weezer

NB: Just to fill in the round before the birth of Patrick’s twins, I decided that the teens of Vision Valley would go on a school trip. With Mrs Maxwell the principal as chaperone, Deni Carson, Damien Maxwell, Jennifer and Toby Franklin went to Twikkii Islands. This is an interlude post.

As the group checked in, it was straight to the natural rock springs that was within the proximity of the hotel.

“Now this is what I call a vacation.” said Damien as he was the first to slip into the spring.

“Yeah this, is not bad at all.” said Jennifer

“Ooh the water is just right.” Deni said

“Now students, these natural springs occur as Twikkii Islands is a very active volcanic area. An island part of the ‘The Ring of Fire’. Our trip is very important for our geology assignment on volcanoes and civilisations living near them.” Grace ordered as she slipped in.

“Oh please mum. Can you stop this teacher business for whole time we’re on holiday?” groaned Damien.

“Well this is the whole point of the vacation.”

Grace saw that the springs were a little too awkward to be hanging with her pupils. She decided to get a hot rock massage while the students went to explore the beach and shipwreck.

Damien was the first to swim into the water.

Yet he was only one to enter the water, as the others decided to explore the shipwreck.

“En Garde.” Deni bellowed in a pirate’s voice.

“I am, Captain Brown Hair. I sail the seven seas looking for treasure. Yar-Har-Har-Har-Har-Har!”

“Up, the crow’s nest, First Mate!”

“Eye-eye Captain!” yelled Jennifer

“Time to walk the plank!” ordered Captain Brown Hair to First Mate

“Aye-Aye Capt-Oh Sim this is scary!” squealed the First Mate

“You alright there?” Toby asked his twin sister.

“All hands on deck!’ yelled Damien

“Hey, I’m the captain. Not you!”

“Hey, Deni. We had great fun today playing pirates. Captain. So are you and Toby going out?’

“Excuse me? Are you like, coming onto me?”

“No I…”

“I thought you were interested in Jennifer.”

“No I’m not. We don’t have chemistry between us. And by the the way, you would make an excellent pirate master. If you were actually a pirate.”

“Geez Damien, I’m flattered.”

The next day, Grace took the pupils to the ruin of Jumbok IV. She wanted to teach the teens a bit of Ancient History and Culture as part of the trip. She made a wish to the fountain, hoping that all of her students pass their year. Instead she got some palm tree figurine magically appear.

After the visit to the ruins, the bus arrived to take them back to the airport, brining back memories of adventure. And education hopefully.

Author’s Note:

I tried to Print Screen more pictures from the visit to the ancient ruins and more of the conversation between Deni and Damien when I press the button. Yet somehow SnagIt doesn’t work and doesn’t make an audible sound so I didn’t get any from it .

Next up is the delivery of Patrick’s twins, due Autumn 2011.

Outtake:

The Unsavory Charlton disguises himself as a local towns person to steal from unsuspecting tourists’ wallets. Luckily he didn’t steal any money from the playables.

i know i've had partially blonde hair for a while now, but i still wonder why...

“…she’s Asian. Yeah. Who am I to to be sermonizing you about pride? As if my roots had never been soaked by ammonia and peroxide? As if my own vision was never tinted by synthetic plastic lenses, my own body whitewashed in Eurocentric ideals of beauty? And you might see me as hypocrite, and tune me out, but I can only relay this to you, as proof to you, that a clean cut head and dilated pupils ain’t so bad after all.” – Catzie Vilayphonh

janice.

I know, the apologies for the lack of posting get tired real quick, so I won’t. Truthfully I have not been feeling the title of this blog and have been feeling far too profane to post.

I did have to come out of the woodwork because big things have been going down that I can’t NOT comment on.

So some guy in Ft. Hood went off his rocker and shot up a bunch of his fellow soldiers, and while the event is very tragic and sad I don’t get the luxury of participating in the boohoos because this guy happened to be Muslim with an Arabic name, and I have to make sure I scour every article I can come across so I don’t look like an ignorant dumbass when people ask me the inevitable, “So what do you think about what happened at Ft. Hood/Iraq/Afghanistan/Pakistan/Mumbai/9-11/Abu Ghurayb/The second coming of Christ?“

Also, I’ve been reading and silently (until now, at least) echoing the sentiments of everyone’s facebook status that sounds along the lines of  “thanks, you big jerkball, for flying your freak flag and shooting everyone up, why oh why couldn’t you have been a nice bland Caucasian?”

I appreciate the emails I’ve been getting from the major Islamic organizations, the ones about press conferences with Congressman Keith Ellison and a token white senator so we can show mad love for the Anglo-Saxons as well * and unilateral denouncings of this heinous crime, the finely crafted articles. I’m glad everyone’s talking about it. I’m not going to bring out the tired, “Oh, why must we still do this, white people don’t have to defend their fellow whites when one of them goes looney tunes!” because we have to. We must, and there is no one else.

All irreverence aside, this is really saddening. Everyone is talking about how ironic it is that he was a psychiatrist, he was the one who was supposed to keep these broken soldiers together, yet he himself was broken. When you think about it, it’s not ironic at all. Usually it’s the people who are the glue that end up cracking. What must it have been like, to see these soldiers everyday, some on their 3rd or 4th tour, and trying to help them deal with all the horrific things they must’ve seen? While he himself was struggling? I’m not excusing what he did. But I understand feeling trapped. He didn’t like what he was seeing, and he wanted out–or at least spoke of wanting out with his aunt–even though the army records show no action taken on his part. According to her, he wanted out for years. And being confronted with his worst nightmare–actually being deployed to Afghanistan, after seeing all the broken men and women come back from there, in a war that seems like it’s never going to end. So he snapped. And everyone brings out the, “Oh, we never saw it coming,” and it’s true. Because you’re fine, until you’re not. Everyday you wake up when you really just want to forget the world exists, and you put on your face, the one you put on everyday to show people that you’re okay, and you play your part until you get home, and the mask drops. And it takes months, years, decades, but that mask starts to become suffocating, and you start to think this is it, this is the day when I’ll stop faking, and take a stand, and start being real…but it never comes. And the split between your authentic self and your fake self grows wider and wider, until it starts looking like a Venn Diagram, and that smallest sliver is the only thing holding yourself together. And when that goes…people react in different ways. An understatement, yes. Me, for example, I tend to bail on the world and hole up with Hulu re-runs and Supernatural fanfiction and any edible junk I can get my hands on.

Others react with shooting sprees. Everyone is a product of their environment and upbringing, and everyone is shaped by their experiences. To use the big words I’ve been learning in CAW-lege, it’s when we develop core pathologies instead of prime adaptive ego–oh, the bs, it’s too much, I can’t. Basically when we learn how to deal the right way, it’s good, and when we learn how to deal with bad with, uh, bad behaviors, it’s very, very bad. Basically.

I’ve been reading the background on this soldier, Major Nidal Malik Hasan, (Nidal means “struggle” in Arabic, by the way) and it’s eerie how small our world is. He used to attend the same mosque I went to in 4th grade, because my school was there, the same mosque where I used to collect honeysuckles with some of the other girls in my class from where they would grow by the chainlink fence, where we used to do experiments with electromagnetism (using my glasses as a conductor, once) and where Br. Omar, even though he didn’t need to, even though we totally believed his diagram of a bulb filament, still went outside, broke a 60 watt bulb on the railing outside our trailer, and brought it back inside so we could see for ourselves.

Major Hasan graduated from Virginia Tech, the site of another shooting rampage, now faded from memory, perpetrated by a boy who signed his name as a question mark.

Hearing about this incident caused me to dredge up memories of the DC sniper incident from a few years back. It was 2002. I still remember where I was, 4th period English class in 10th grade. Our school was on lockdown because of some shooting. We heard all kinds of crazy stuff. At first we thought he was in the school, then we thought near the campus, and then we found out later what really happened. I remember we were locked down through lunch so one of the ladies in the English department came by with a basket of Oreos. At first it was kinda exciting and scary, but then it got really boring. I still remember my teacher. I forget her name, but she used to be on a swim team and she was kinda pretty, and one day she parted her hair all weird and she was self-conscious because we were looking at her funny. She started patting her face and running her hand over her shirt self-consciously, but we never told her it was because of how she parted her hair that day. (I remember reading To Kill a Mockingbird in her class, and have her to thank because I understood every single Boo Radley reference I ever came across after that.)

When I got home and saw the news reports, and where the shooting took place, it was the same place my school bus would drive past, back when I still in middle school. Another shooting took place where my mom would go to work on-call, and another took place in the city where we’d get qurbani from.

I was reading through the wikipedia article, and my heart jumped in my throat, because one of the perpetrators, John Allen Muhammad, is going to be executed in 3 days, on November 10th, 2009. I’ve been scouring the articles, and maybe my memory is failing me, but I remember in the beginning, they weren’t calling him John Allen Muhammad, they were just calling him “John Allen.” (And then they were on about Lee Malvo, and I remember reading an article in the local paper–it might’ve even been my school newspaper, because I remember being at school while reading it, talking about interviewing some kid who was getting grief because people said he was the spitting image of Lee Malvo, and the metacommentary that says about us as a community and the blackification of crime in the US, etc etc. ) But I just remember feeling like…what? John Allen MUHAMMAD? WHAT? I felt so cheated, that I could share in the sorrow with everyone else, and then they just had to tack on “Muhammad” and suddenly it’s like what the hell man? These are YOUR people? And it didn’t even make sense, because one of the victims was a Desi guy, who technically I had much more in common with, but there was still that  “this is all because of your crazy family” vibe.

And then, TODAY, another guy (white, this time) shot up downtown Orlando, because he lost his job and his employers “left him to rot.” Also, last night there was a goddamn helicopter circling my neighborhood, conducting an honest-to-god floodlight search. I felt like I was in some action adventure movie, what with the sound of the rotors and the searchlights that were streaming through the blinds.

What all this craziness made me realize, I suppose, is that there are a great many more things going down that are bigger than me and my so-called problems, and I just need to buck up and deal. I remember listening to this Nouman Ali Khan lecture, (and I am paraphrasing/extrapolating, like, a LOT) and he said there are two ways to remind two different types of Muslims. The first type of Muslim can look at the intricate webbing in a leaf and their eyes fill up with tears and their hearts shake from these tiny, tiny reminders, and these are the ones who can bring themselves closer to Allah with academia, with the minutae, with the details. The other type of Muslim is a bit more stubborn, they can appreciate these details as well, but it doesn’t make them ACT. It takes something BIG, something really freakin’ crucial, to get them to shake and quake and think, “Wow, I need to change. Like, yesterday.” He gave the example of one of those big emotional lectures, the kind where the speaker starts off with, “When I was a boy, I had a DOG!” and by the end of the speech you’re shaking where you sit and the speech has that visceral, emotional appeal, and when you leave you’re saying to yourself in your head, “I really need to start praying.” It may not appeal much to the minutia-oriented, but it’s that punch to the gut the stubborn Muslims need. I fall into the latter category. It takes really big, crucial SNAFUs to make me react, and man, the events of the past 48 hours qualify.

*as I was writing this I thought, “Crap, what if he’s not actually white? And it turns out he totally wasn’t. Nor is he a senator. Thus the strike-through. Also, I get FAIL in US Government 101.

I know this was long and rambly, and it is what it is.