I am 37 years old and have dated black men all of my life with the exception of one Hispanic guy when I was in high school.  I love black men but am truly wondering if they love me back???? With that said, I am venturing to try something new, interracial dating, yes I am moving on to dating white men. Now, I said earlier that I love black men, hell my daddy is black and my son is black and these are the two most important men in my life however I am going to try something new and open myself up to dating outside my race.

Being that my 20th high school reunion is less than a year away and I attended a high school that had a 99% black student population that is located in Miami’s inner-city, I can really imagine the looks from my classmates when I am escorted by a white man to all our reunion events!!!

My cousin constantly tells me to come to New York as the white men there love black women but I live in Atlanta and there has to be a population of white men here who feel the same way. I even read a blog today where the lady suggested visiting other countries is a good way to find white men who desire black women.  While I don’t doubt both of these are great pieces of advice, I can not get to New York or outside of the USA right now so I have to believe that my “Mr. White” is out there, right here in the ATL and I will definitely keep you all updated on me trying something new!!!

Keep your head up and love one another!!!

So I’m chatting with this guy on-line via email for a few times.  He’s African American and I’m Caucasian.  We seem to be getting along well and then all of a sudden, in one of his emails he says: “I can’t wait to meet you, I love me some white girl!  I’ve definitely got Jungle Fever!”

Ummm, what?  We’re having a perfectly reasonable exchange, getting to know each other, and then you say that!  What would make you think that that was an appropriate comment to make based on the tenor of our previous conversations?  Respectful?

Not.  So I ignored him.  He did respond and asked me why I had vanished, to which I explained that his comments about jungle fever weren’t exactly appreciated nor embraced!  He apologized but pretty much it was the end for me.

What would possess him to think that these were the types of comments that women were looking to hear while dating?  Yikes!

And the strangest part for me – I have never seen the movie so didn’t understand what he was referring to.  I just knew it wasn’t sitting well with me!

The Unfamiliarity of The White Woman:

A black man might like to take part in a relationship with a white woman because they are not familiar with the race. This unfamiliarity makes it a treat to ensue a relationship. Everything about the race is brand new to the man made of black. This gives the relationship in itself a kind of thrill, and makes it one to store in the memory box. The white woman looks different, acts different, smells different, comes from a different world; it is a little like dating some alien who has crossed worlds in order to land on the same spot on ground floor, and this makes the white woman very exciting to experience.

A black man knows a black woman from the in to the out, and will often shrug them off as something they have already known in a past relationship. This makes the black woman a bit of a bore, which they will push away in order to end the traits that spring up like clockwork each generation past. They will opt to form a relationship with a white woman in order to get out of the little box which they live in. This will give the black male a new outlook on life, and will lead them to different hemispheres. This will make the relationship an adventure on which never to look back.

The White Woman with Lighten Those Shades:

for the black male who is sick and tired of seeing those dark black shades on their siblings, they may drift from their box of black chocolate in order to join arms with a white woman with the goal to lighten up their ethnic colour. This is a hate that many do not want to admit, as it seems as though a black man is simply using the white woman as a serving bowl in which she can pop out a light black sweetie. However it is true. A black man will form a fast growing relationship in order to use the white woman for her white looks, in order to lighten the colour of their normally black babies. This whole plan is generation progression, that can lead to light coffee looking babies with less distinguished features that separate them from the black society, and cast them into a whole new genre of their own.

The White Woman Knows The Know:

Yes, sometimes a black man will date a white woman in order to gain an insight to the type of live she leads. This may be very exciting, especially when the black man finds out that the white woman knows some very exciting people. The white woman will be able to pop out views, clues, and news about what is going on in society. She will be able to inform the black male, and educate him on an informal scale. This can be very useful to the black male, and can be very inspiring.

Here is to the understanding of love crossing the color line.

As I was browsing through random blogs this morning, I came across a post that shocked and appalled me. I’m not even going to post the link because I don’t want to send any traffic to this ignorant bitch’s site, but I’ve included some of her remarks below so you’ll understand where my animosity comes from.

“how can i get me a guy if all the white girls keep stealing them? those sluts get on my fucking nerves.

i cant possibly get a good guy, if hoes keep taking them!!! white girls are a threat and they need to be imprisoned or killed. im tired of those skanks stealing all the guys…leaving us good girls…us PURE girls, to have no one.

why do guys want sluts and impure girls so much???? is it because we pure girls refuse to put out? is it because we are too good for them?

i hate white girls….they are stealing all the valuable men with their slutiness and worthlessness and impurity.”

Let’s take a moment to reflect on this, shall we? First of all, maybe you could get a guy if you weren’t such a bitter, blabbering imbecile. Just a thought, but you might be a little more appealing if you kept your mouth shut and the stupidity to a minimum.

Secondly, though some men may sometimes lack certain mental abilities, they all still have free will and the ability to choose, last time I checked. For those of you who are relationship-challenged like this blogger, this means that they are human and cannot be “stolen” because, drum roll please… men are not a possessions and your relationship (or lack there of apparently in this case) does not indicate any type of ownership. Maybe if you put half of the energy into maintaining a satisfying relationship that you do hating on others’, you might find a man that actually wants to be with you.

Last but not least, my favorite point to make about this post is on the topic of white girls’ “slutiness, worthlessness, and impurity”. Oh, silly me, I didn’t realize that all Caucasian females were “hoes”, “skanks”, and “sluts” that “need to be imprisoned or killed”. Is this a joke? While anyone with a rational thought process realizes this is a completely empty stereotype, what makes this so ironic to me is that this girl’s mother is white. And of course, she proclaims that her mother is the exception to this rule and her hatred for white women. But did her mother “steal” her father, therefore creating her? What about the other women in her mother’s family? Is her maternal grandmother an impure slut too? Is she so bitter about her own, ignorant existence that she is now lashing out against other relationships that could possibly lead to people in a similar situation? She continues throughout the blog on her rants about white girls, yet she apparently seeks out men of all races and doesn’t want white women to date men of any kind. I could go on, but this makes no sense.

My whole point with this post is not to berate one individual that doesn’t even deserve the energy I used to type this, but it’s to say that if you feel the same way as she does, I don’t want you to visit my blog again (though it is surprising that people with these backwards views have the intelligence to read…). The world – especially the one that revolves around me – does not have time for your ignorance, bigotry, or racism. You will never be happy, with yourself or anyone else, if you continue to dwell on the hatred you have for yourself that you have projected onto others. Move on, open your mind, and let love into your life.

When one and two come together, they make 3. These ones are a midle of that one and two. For now I will just share the pictures. For a later post, I will discuss interracial relationships and children involved in it too. Till then, just enjoy your slice of pie and more will come

Nahla Ariela (Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry’s little cutie)

Stacy Dash’s progeny with hubbie, Emanuel Xuereb:

Twin cuties with  parents Mike  and Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon:

Tennis legend Boris Becker with Barbara Feltus, sons Noah (L) and Elias:

In all in all, cute black or white, Here is to love that leaves us popping bottles and toasting to longevity.

 New? Start here.

“Oh, hey Sanjay,” I said after I clicked over from call waiting with Anita. “What’s up?” I should have said what I was really feeling, like “Oh hey Sanjay, why are you calling me after completely ignoring me downstairs even though we were the only two Indians in the room and by not at least showing me the secret nod of recognition over how we are both The Same you have violated a sacred contract? Also, I am mysteriously attracted to you even though you’re not my type at all, probably because you ignored me and you know how dysfunctional girls like a man who will ignore them.” Okay, you’re right, it was best to leave it at “what’s up?”

“Oh, nothing much. You know, a bunch of the other Ras are going out to get coffee*, and so, you know.”

“Um. Ras?”

“Isn’t it awes? Ras, you know, RAs.”

 “Right,” and then I let out an obligatory awkward laugh. God, this guy was so awful. It was like there was a magnetic pull toward his cheesiness. “Well.”

“So, are you coming along?”

“Oh, I didn’t realize—yeah, sure.”

“Great, see you downstairs in tenners.”

 Tenners? Awes? Ras? This guy was not for me at all. I should back out now, fake a headache or intermittant leprosy of the social gland (wait, that one was true) .

But I didn’t. I called Anita back. “Sorry,can’t make it.” I decided to run a Sanjayism by Anita, to test the waters. ”I gotta hang out with the other Ras.”

 “Ras?”

“You know, ha ha, RAs.”

 “Uh, that’s really lame,” Anita said flatly.

 “I know.” After I got off the phone, I had four minutes to pee, put on makeup that didn’t look like I was wearing makeup because my cheeks are really this rosy what do you mean Indian people don’t blush I do all the time! and look at my flawless complexion while you’re staring– makeup job, change my clothes and do my hair. I only managed the peeing before sighing toward myself in the mirror and giving up and going to the lobby as is. Rookie mistake. 

When I met everyone else downstairs, I was decked out in my finest…t-shirt and Old Navy khaki shorts, with pleats no less, to accentuate my gut, because that’s how late 90s nerd fashioned rolled. The other female RAs were in their best tight black flare pants, the kind that are so tight you can’t even wear underwear, so no I didn’t own a pair, puhleez (my friend, sfsuki may have owned many) (just saying) and sparkly tank tops. Their eyes were covered in mascara so thick that Tammy Faye looked like a fresh faced ingenue. There was no subtlety for the college slutty in either the makeup or clothing department. I thought about going upstairs to change–but into what? Nothing sparkled! Only a few shirts were snug enough to show off that I had breasts (uh, I didn’t) (i mean, I don’t). The only real makeup I owned wouldn’t match up to the war paint on these girls. I didn’t really fit in. Again.

I made eye contact with Sanjay, but he ignored me, and glommed onto a blonde and walked forward and out the double doors to lead the group toward the coffee shop. I didn’t see CC downstairs, so my only ally was missing. I hung toward the back of the crowd, fiddling with the zipper on my purse and studying my sandals until I heard a voice behind me.

“Hey, you look about as gleeful as a man about to jump off a bridge.”

I looked up toward the voice and saw Will, an older RA who was in college on the GI Bill after serving in the army for six years.

“This isn’t really my thing,” I said back to him.

“What, walking?” he chuckled.

“No, you know. Coffee*. Going out for coffee with a bunch of sparkly blondes and random guys I just met.”

“Listen, you think this is my thing? Everyone here is at least six years younger than me. I bet you’re not even legal coffee-drinking age.”

“No, I’m not.”

“See? This is clearly a scene you haven’t even explored. And I’ve been in this situation so many times, but I’m still here. You could, you know, give people a chance.”

Give them a chance? Whaaa? Didn’t he mean that they should give me one? I was the outsider here, not him. A sparkly blonde turned her head and said, “Will, get your butt up here!” with a giggle. There were more giggles as Will put his arm around two girls and started whispering in their ears. He turned back to me and winked. Again, whaaa? I went back to fiddling with my zipper, and looked up. We were at the main road, and everyone was turning left. If I went straight, I could be at Anita’s party in ten minutes. I looked at the crowd, and looked at the road, and I decided to go straight.

*not actually coffee

#1 Interracial Date/Social Group in the US/UK.

Colorofloveidate.com has 1000’s of like minded members who are open to dating interracially, but not to exclude dating their own race. Members in our interracially mixed social group are looking for love, laughs, friendship, support, compatability and maybe even marriage, with someone who looks just like you!

Yahoo! Personals – Product Review.

Yahoo has been around for since the early 90’s and has grown to be a monster in the personal online dating scene. With over 10 Million user accounts …this dating site has been designed with the idea of simplicity. Yahoo! Personals is extremely easy to use with lots of great options for searching for someone. You can look at other people’s profiles as well finding there like and dislikes. Not only is this site highly used by millions of people but it also won the “Single’s Choice” award for being the best dating site on the internet 2008.

Positive Features
* Yahoo’s 6-Month Promise, find a soulmate or receive and additional 6 month membership for free. See the cost section below for further details.
* Over 13 different international sites. Setup for the countries language and culture.
* Very large database of members
* Allow sorting of your search results by when Yahoo members have last logged on (a very useful feature).
* Easy to join and use.
* Yahoo is a trusted name brand.

Negative Features
*Some sponsored links at the bottom of your singles search results. Not sure if they are still there with paid membership.
*I found alot of people looking for just a sex hookup or swingers…But that could be a Positive !.

Closing Statement:
“I have personaly used Yahoo! Personals and feel it is a great product, I started with their seven day free trial. It trully is free so give it a try !”.

Login Here !

Heard this a while back and can’t remember where but it is a wonderful saying: “Friendship is not about being alike but rather about knowing how to enjoy each others’ differences.”

“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.” ~ Anis Nin

“What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.” ~ Aristotle

It’s in the soul where we find friends. The soul itself, I think, has no color. Rather the soul is a rainbow of colors which brings us together as individuals.

She blogged about the issue on Global Grind and had this to say to all the people who have a problem with her standing by her man:

“I wanted to talk to you about something I have recently noticed. I am a lil surprised at the number of people that seem to disapprove of the relationship with my boyfriend. I find this reality to be kind of hard to accept. There are times when I notice people giving us long hard stares and those stares are usually from my own people!

Honestly, I wish everyone could benefit from the beauty that can come from experiences that happen outside of your own comfort zone. It is truly a beautiful thing that can add so much to your life. Give it a shot and you can learn so much from a person you never thought you’d talk to or have something in common with. I’m not just talking about dating but about all types of relationships…basically what I’m saying is love everyone. Rise above the hate.”

I feel Angela on the long hard stares.  I’m dating outside my race too and I often get that type of attention because my BF and I are two people who you don’t see together all the time. I’m Asian, He’s black. I don’t really think it’s all negative attention though.  Sometimes, people tend to look at a couple longer than usual because it is something interesting in their eyes.  Like, “Oh! That’s an interesting combination” type of feeling.  It’s apparent when someone is disapproving of your interracial relationship if you sense some shit talking, or shaking their heads or rolling their eyes in the groove of the moment.  I get a mixture of both but not too many negative reactions so far, Thank God   I know we live in a much less racist world today, but there are many people out there who are still getting used to the idea of interracial relationships.  Just give them time and patience, it should all work out in the end, right?

Are you in an interracial relationship where you feel you receive negative attention or flack from your family and friends?  How do you deal with it?

Most of the people interested in interracial relationships begin with creating interracial personals on interracial dating sites especially, so that different singles in similar relationships can screw more about them.

When I decided to give online dating a try so I can find my date, I will place my interracial personals ad on the interracial dating sites.  To tell you the truth, I did not get the desired response What I think. So I wondered why this was happening and then it hit me … Everyone on the interracial dating sites was there for the same reason as I. And since I was competing with some of them for potential mates, I have to find a way of making my interracial personals ad stand out. I figured this was no time to give up over not getting enough responses.

I had to learn to get descriptive and make me look attractive with words. Getting the humor in all this wasn’t so easy but then writing with honesty kinda helps you ease into the whole thing. A little humor sometimes can make interracial personals stand out from the boring ones. It gives the other singles this vibe that you are fun to be around. I decided to be truthful about the stuff I like and let my readers know exactly what I was after – a serious relationship. Another thing I learnt is that being negative and talking about dating failures on interracial personals puts off others. It puts me off. Much as you are being, pain and failure make others think you are not ready for dating. So I went over my profile and got rid of all the bleeding. And if you still hang up on the past, get over it first before posting that interracial personal.

The best way to learn is looking within you. When you are searching other interracial personals on interracial dating sites, what puts you off? Avoid those mistakes. And the worst thing you can ever do to maximize your chances on interracial dating sites is giving up. All you need to do is try a new technique next time. And just like I did, you will get the desired information from desired respondents eventually.

Most of the interracial dating sites code themselves interracial in order to invite free and open mixing of different cultures. The site makes the members conscious of the fact that they are dating each other on the basis of the fact that they are different in their racial lineage. These sites are the ultimate place for those who want their dates to be different on physical grounds. Non-racially focused free dating sites can also accommodate many cultures, but free interracial dating sites differ in that they prefer to focus on the fact.

Part 3, Part 2, Part 1.

The phone rang. I expected it to be my mom, calling to check up on me. Again. I hadn’t talked with her in three whole hours, after all.

“Hi Mom,” I sighed, but it wasn’t my mom.

“Oh, hey! Are you back? How are you?” My voice was high pitched and excited and my encounter with the RAs earlier was wiped from my mind. “I’m so glad you called.”

It was my friend Anita, the best Indian friend I ever had, and one of my best friends at college. I hadn’t talked with her all summer, except for exchanging a few paltry emails. “What are you up to?”

She told me she was living off campus in a 2-bedroom apartment with her friend from the dorms last year, Jan, and some guys Jan knew from home were having a party. Did I want to come?

“No, I don’t think so. I mean, I just got here, and I overheard some of the RAs talking about going out tonight.” I was hoping they were going to call me up or knock on my door soon, to invite me. “Sorry,” I said, because I’d rather be hanging out with Anita and some random computer engineering geeks on north campus than hanging out with strangers who seemed to hate me, but I also knew that if I didn’t try to fit in with the other RAs, it was going to be a long year.

“But there are going to be guys!”

“Uh, computer engineering guys are not guys. You told me so yourself.” Anita had a run in with a particularly geeky, even for our campus, Indian guy falling in love with her. This was always happening to Anita, partly on account of her being so cute, and partly because she was one of the only girls in the computer engineering program not covered in a small haze of dandruff or suffering from other obvious personal hygiene issues. It was a hard life she led, with guys constantly sending her flowers so she could reject them. As of yet, she hadn’t even kissed a guy. Oh, and neither had I. She understood my desperation pretty accurately.

“Well, I was wrong,” Anita stated. “Besides, there’s this really cute half-Indian that Jan is friends with from high school.”

“Half-Indian? I thought you swore off Indians!”

“Half totally doesn’t count, does it?”

“Uh, I think it depends on the guy, don’t you?”

“Don’t overanalyze. Anyhow, I want you to check him out and tell me what you think. Plus, there are a few cute whities out there for you, anyway.” I didn’t tell her about Sanjay; I was too embarrassed about the whole encounter.

“Ugh, alright, I’ll tell you what. If I don’t hear anything from the other RAs, I’ll be over at your place at 9.”

“No, I’ll already be over there. I’ll give you the address of the party.”

“I can’t just show up! To an apartment full of guys!” I was a little panicky around guys. Duh, of course I was. I was 19 and had never been kissed. At this point, I figured that the Elephant Man and the Bearded Lady had had more play than me.

“They’re geeks! It doesn’t matter! Any girl with a pulse is a hot girl to them.”

“Uh, thanks. And I thought you said that they were guys. Guys hate me.”

“You know what I meant! Geez, don’t take it so personally. And these guys won’t hate you. They’ll love you and your cute little self. Just come.”

I was debating going or sitting in my room and eating brownies while watching reruns of Dawson’s Creek.  But before I could make a decision, I heard call waiting ringing through. “Hey, can I call you back in a few, Anita? I’ve got another call.” I could hear her roll her eyes at me. “Whatever. Be there,” and I heard the click. I didn’t know if she was mad at me or not, but I definitely didn’t want to go to an apartment party with a bunch of guys I didn’t know. But I also definitely didn’t want to go out with a bunch of RAs who may or may not hate me. Decisions, decisions. I clicked over to call waiting.

“Oh, hey Sanjay, what’s up?”

Maybe my decision was made for me.

Disclaimer: For those who know me, I’m speeding up the story a bit, instead of going months and months between action, like what happened in real life. I could write about studying for those chem tests in between what happened, or doing badly on a microbiology lab, but, uh, I think I might lose some interest. So, everything’s going to be condensed. Yes, this is the CONDENSED version.

Model Heidi Klum kisses her husband singer Seal.

The first is a story out of Louisiana about a justice of the peace who refuses to marry a black male/white female couple. You can link to the story here. The second story I saw today was about a resolution that was passed urging President Obama to pardon the late boxer Jack Johnson who was jailed for 10 months for dating a white woman. You can link to that story here.

This both saddens and angers me.  I’ve dated black, Latino and white men. I’ve also experienced the ignorance and stigma of dating interacially. I dated a white guy who  never let me meet his parents because they didn’t like him dating black girls. We had to sneak around and meet each other in secret. This was 2008, not 1958. And this wasn’t in the South. It happened in Washington, D.C.

I wish people would just mind their own business and let people love who they want to love.

It’s hard enough out here trying to find good people to have healthy, stable relationships with. When you start putting limits on a person’s race and sexual orientation and religion, you only limit yourself. You could potentially keep yourself from being with the person of your dreams because your prejudice. If you don’t want to date outside your race, that’s fine more power to you. But don’t knock other people if that’s what they want to do.

I hope if any good comes from this it will shut up all the people who think that the minute this country got a black president  our racial problems went out the window. (BTW, our president is the product of an interracial union. I’m just saying) There will always be ignorant people in this world and as long as that is the case there will always be racism.

I have a gorgeous little nephew that is the product of a bi-racial union. My sister and my mom are both dating outside their race and they’re both very happy.

If it makes you feel any better, as an equal opportunity and serial dater, I can say with complete confidence that ALL men are completely and totally insane. Race has nothing to do with it.

I really really want to like Mr. A.

He’s sweet, considerate (for the most part), intelligent, educated, relatively good looking.  He makes decent money, and drives a BMW convertible.  He’s fun, social, and talkative.  He has no problems displaying affection and seems more than willing to work on compromises so we’re both happy.  We have good conversations, and get along well.

But I am just NOT attracted to him. He’s about 2-3 inches shorter than me for starters, which I really don’t find attractive in any man, and though he kisses fine with his lips, his tongue is un-animated and slimy.. like a dead fish.  I really wanted to like him, but when I had to push him off me to stop the kissing so I didn’t throw up.. I knew it wasn’t going to work.

Sadly, even with all that.. I might have tried harder to like him if it wasn’t for the nagging thoughts of “we’re too different” in my head.

He’s Indian. Like really Indian. Not Americanized Indian, but still thinks home is India, Indian.  He’s vegetarian (I have to eat meat for protein – allergy to all beans, soy, peanuts, and most other nuts and several veggies).  And … the clincher.. He doesn’t drink, at all.

*sigh*  I do hope that he finds a nice girl who appreciates him.. but that nice girl is not me. Really Not Me.

*****

I initially wrote that on Saturday night. In my desire to post my events in chronological order, I waited until today to post it.  As I was re-reading it for posting, I realized I wasn’t telling everything and giving him a little too much credit.

From last Monday when we met until Wednesday when he asked me out, he had been a perfect gentleman.  He was considerate and kind.  Even Wednesday when we were planning the date, he wanted to do dinner and a movie and told me I could pick the movie.

Now if you bring up going to the movies to me, there is only one theatre chain that I will want to go to in Austin.  It is generally child-free by its own rules, and they don’t charge you $600 for a soda.  When you walk in you’re not accosted by the smell of popcorn laden with chemical butter sauce, instead you see a fully stocked bar and waitstaff.  You can go directly to your seat, and the waitstaff will bring you anything you want from the menu. Yes, you can drink beer and watch a movie and have someone else bring you more beer!  The place is called Alamo Drafthouse.

So I asked him if he’d ever been to one, and he said no.  All the more reason to go! Since we could easily do both dinner and the movie at the Alamo, I suggested the idea. He didn’t seem keen on it, but I insisted that he needed to go. (Seriously if you don’t like the Alamo, we’re not going to get along.)

So I’m given the task of picking a movie. I totally get swamped with my own crap on Thursday and forget.  So Friday I txt him with movie options. He txts back that those options aren’t any good, even though one of those was a movie we’d discussed seeing on Wednesday night. He said he’d call me Saturday and we’d figure it out.

He called Saturday and fumbled around telling me that our date initially set at 6pm was being pushed til 9pm. Why? He didn’t offer the info, so I asked. His friend was moving and he’d offered the help. So instead of courteously asking me if it was ok, he just told me we’d be meeting at 9pm with only 3 hours warning.

When the movie didn’t start til 10:30, he said we could hang at my place.

Now in case you’ve never dated a fresh off the boat Indian guy, let me tell you a few things that I’ve learned over the years.  Most of this I learned in college by hanging out with the international students.  My college had an overwhelmingly large population of Indian students.. fresh.. I mean fresh of the boat.

Rule #1 If a guy and a girl are alone in a secluded place (bedroom, home, corner, bathroom, etc) the guy may interpret it as a “GO” for sex despite what the woman says.  Or despite what the guy promised prior to entering such a situation.

Rule #2 Women do not get into such situations unless they want sex.

So when Mr “Indian” A said we’ll hang at your place, my mind immediately jumped to.. He wants to have sex.

Since I barely know Mr. A, and I’m not all that into him physically… it was a hell no on being alone in my apt.

So then he suggested his apt.  I told him that I’d find something for us to do.

When he came to pick me up (he insisted), I told him to take us to Main Event. He’d never been there, so I told him we’d go check it out so he’d know what it was.

We get inside, order a drink, and just about to play pool when he suddenly remembers he lost his visa card.  He insists/begs that we go see if the ATM ate it.  So I down my beer in record time, and we leave.

Of course the card is not at the ATM.  He then says he wants to go check his apt to make sure he didn’t leave it there.  I am visibly reluctant, but we go anyway.

So we go to his apt. I’m apprehensive and the only furniture is his bed, so I stand.  I do not want any further mixture of signals. He looks around the apt for his card and calls some number asking for a new card.

Then he turns to me, and thanks me for being nice about this and apologizes for messing up the evening.  We hug. Then he kisses me.  We kiss a little, then I push him off me before he can get “serious”.  He tries to keep the kissing going.

“We should get going” I say matter of factly and start toward the front door. He moves quickly to get between me and the door.  I open the door, and he starts to push it closed.

As with most women, I have an ability to look so angry that I can scare nearly anyone that comes across me.  Generally this look is in such opposition to my normal countenance that when I do pull it out it is immensely shocking and extremely fear inducing. (Seriously, I have never been in a real physical fight. People see this look and back the hell off.)

Fueled by a touch of fear and a lot of rage, I gave Mr A this look, and said.

“If you don’t want me to get angry. We should go.”

He took one look at my face and said, “Wow you really are getting angry. Why?”

I could not answer him then. I cannot form words when I’m truly angry. So I shrugged off the question, and walked outside. He hurriedly followed me.

We drove to the movie talking about nonsense, with me giving him directions… which it turns out he didn’t need.  I think his “new boy in town” act is just that.

We sit down, and in a few minutes he asks me again.

“Why did you get so angry back there?”

So I answered, “Well I don’t know you that well, I was uncomfortable being at your apt alone with you, and when I tried to leave you blocked the door to trap me there.”

I saw through his eyes that a little light went off in his head. He understood and apologized.

The movie was good. But he didn’t like the food.  On our way home, he asked if I’d come back to his place and help him with finding new iPhone apps.  He’d mentioned this a couple times already during the week, so I figured oh what the hell.  Plus then I’d see if he’d learned anything from our earlier confrontation.

Initially, despite his invitation for me to sit on the bed which I refused, we began talking about iPhone apps. After a few minutes, I realized he didn’t care about apps much. Then he wanted to play a two player iPhone game.  I don’t have hardly any two player games on my iPhone because I don’t know anyone with a iPhone that is ever with me and wanting to play a silly game.  We usually have better things to do. But I find a game of Dominoes on my phone, which allows two players so I teach him how to play. We play a couple games, but he gets bored and tries to kiss me again.

This time his tongue gets more involved (see previous story) and I do my best to not kiss him. Which obviously he’s not picking up on because he gets up and turns off the lights. I get up and tell him to take me home.  He argues a little but since I stand my ground he takes me home.

*******

I barely get home and I get an email from Mr Christian.  We chat through email for a few minutes. Then he disappears again.

***

…should I tread carefully…nah I never have before lol

For those who have followed my past blogs, you know that I have had my arse chewed and handed back to me when it comes to my views on interracial dating. Example 1 and Example 2.  I have been called racist (yep! me! racist! ) I have been called ignorant and a list of other things that made me giggle. All because I have stated that I am not interested in dating anyone outside of my race.

Excuse me for thinking that I can date who I please and get away with it! Excuse me for blogging about why I date black men exclusively! Excuse me for saying that I loves me some black men and have no interest in dating outside my race. I never knew that it was mandatory to be open to interracial dating :-|

Well when I heard about this story I raised my eyebrow and said ”hmmm, that’s disturbing, AND it has to be breaking some kind of law, isn’t it?”

Now those ppl who gave me a few words back on the BGT blogs about my interracial dating posts, would say that I would agree with this, but I don’t. My view is this: Date/marry whoever you like, but as for BGT I will date black men and black men only. I don’t  have to be open to dating outside of my race and I don’t have to be excited about other people dating outside of their race. Personally it has nothing to do with me, but as for me, I will stick with my black brothas.

BUT I do not believe that there should be any law that can determine what race of person you marry. That is utterly ridiculous and Keith Bardwell needs his ass sued for this. He says his denial of the marriage license to the interracial couple was based on his experience with interracial marriages and the fact that they do not last long. He went on to say that he is looking out for the children.

Bullshit Keith!

This statement is the one that screamed out racist douchebag

I’m not a racist. I just don’t believe in mixing the races that way,” Bardwell told the Associated Press on Thursday. “I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else. 

  -Keith Bardwell

Keith that statement alone says that you are a racist. You are so racist you could be Rush Limbaugh’s play cousin. It is from MY personal experience Mr. Bardwell that when a white person starts a statement off with “I’m not racist” and throws in “I have black friends” you had better watch out because their KKK robe is hanging in the hall closet waiting on the next rally. And did he say mixing of the races? That is some Mississippi Slave Master talk if I ever heard any.  This happened in Tangipahoa Parish, Louisiana so thats close enough I guess.

The couple plans to consult the U.S. Justice Department to file a complaint and rightfully so.

I’ve been called racist by few people who have visited this blog and on other online forums. One thing that is consistent about that, is the fact that this assertion is always expressed by non-minorities. But hey, studies have shown that the stronger a person of color identifies with his/her culture the more likely it is for them to be perceived as such. Which is funny when you think about it because I have a hard time recalling Black Supremacists groups obtaining permits to march through cities and towns and give hate speeches.

Even more ironic, is when I ask the people or persons levying those claims to define racism. They almost always have a hard time doing so and I’ve came to realize that often they didn’t know what the hell they were talking about.

But after reviewing the recent news from Louisiana surrounding the denial of a marriage license to an interracial couple by a white justice of the peace. I’ve now come to realize that yes, I am racist. I’ve never married a white couple in my home nor have I had a white person use my bathroom so obviously I am racist. Never mind the fact that I have piles and piles of white friends; those friendships are just for show. So yeah, using Keith Bardwell’s logic and that of others like him, I’m definitely a racist individual.

The Landmark Lovings US Supreme Court Case - 1967

On October 15, 2009, National Public Radio (NPR)’s All Tech Considered section ran a piece called, “Yes, Race Matters In Online Dating.” Their writers were ‘saddened’ that race and ethnicity still matters in our brand new “post-racial society.” Well, I’m going to start by saying there’s no such thing as a ‘post-racial society’ – not yet. Though credit is to be given for how far we’ve come in race relations, I think I’ll take a bit of liberty with Dr. Cornel West’s bestseller and say that yes, “Race [still] Matters.”

On the romance front, one only need read another news story from October 15, 2009, “Interracial Couple Denied Marriage License in Louisiana” to know we still have some work to do.

But back to the NPR story and a short excerpt:

Earlier this month, though, OKCupid, a free online dating service, scoured through the messaging trends of more than one million of their users and found that online dating is riddled with the same biases as the real world.

In short, black women are slighted the most and white men have a bountiful harvest.

The study notes that White men are most likely to respond to Black women on social sites. In fact, White Men are also very likely to initiate contact with Black women in online social network settings. But the real question is how many actually take those Black women as seriously as they would a White woman in a real, offline dating scenario? More to the point, how many would take a Black woman home to the family and look at her as a serious potential life partner/wife? Even online, how many are even willing to openly display their affections toward their interracial loves on their own social networking sites? I have no doubt that the numbers are staggeringly low, particularly in the middle- to upper-income levels.

Interracial relationships are very complex, even with the most well-intentioned people. There are far too many dynamics involved to even attempt to touch on a blog. But I will say this: “Cheering Obama” or superficially supporting general, equality issues is not the same as having the courage to be a change agent within one’s self or intimate circles against deep-seeded racial or other biases – especially when it comes to dating and love. And for those reading this, please know that I mean this statement for people of all races because Blacks and other races have biases too that need to be stamped out as well.

So this is a note about interracial romance but again, I ask: What’s Love Got To Do With It?

Being expelled from college, or in Bob Jones University terminology, “shipped”, can be, as in my case, a life-changing or life-altering experience. The experience certainly left an impression on me – even after 27 years.

Yes – that’s right – 27 years and I still think about it. No April 23rd ever goes by without me thinking about what happened that afternoon, three (3) weeks short of graduation, in 1982.

And this news item (AP story here) about the Louisiana Justice of the Peace who refused to marry interracial couples because, according to Justice of the Peace, Keith Bardwell, “I just don’t believe in mixing the races that way” (CNN story here) brought back a lot of memories of the rancor, acrimony and paranoia that permeated the BJU campus during the IRS v. BJU tax exemption fight back in 1981 – 82.

It was during this time, Bob Jones University, the Dean of Men (Tony Miller) and the Dean of Students (Jim Berg) sent an official letter home to my parents giving them three reasons why I had been shipped – but that wasn’t the whole story – what the University left out in the “official” Letter of Expulsion were the unrecorded and unwritten statements made by Tony Miller – statements that were unusually cruel, judgmental and, as it turned out, totally wrong.

In addition to Tony Miller’s unrecorded oral statements, there were also “off-the-record” reasons for expelling me – reasons that were not spelled out in the official BJU letter sent to my parents’ home. One of those undocumented reasons was a 4-panel cartoon strip that I drew (anonymously) called Dormsbury.

It’s hard to explain now, but at the time, Bob Jones University was embroiled in the fight to keep its Tax Exempt status and, in the national media, the University was under fire for its policy of “no interracial dating.” The fact that the Administration based their stand, their prejudice, their bias on Scripture angered me.

Dormsbury came about after a BJU student poked fun at a Doonesbury strip that mentioned BJU by publishing his own Doonesbury-like strip accusing Doonesbury (Garry Trudeau) of ignoring the fact that African-Americans actually attend BJU. (The 3-panel strip had a crude caricature of Garry Trudeau walking across the BJU campus with a giant pencil eraser in hand, erasing African-American BJU students because they “weren’t supposed to be there.”)

Being a closet Doonesbury fan, I decided to make my own little cartoon, voilà, Dormsbury was born.

I would quietly sketch the cartoon in my dorm room, then “ink” it with a fine tip Sharpee. The strip was really for my amusement and for the amusement of other like-minded individuals – I never meant for it to be circulated around campus.

But it was.

We did not have locks on our dorm room doors at BJU and someone, I never found out who, took many of my originals, even some of the unfinished pencil sketches, copied them and posted them on bulletin boards around campus.

Yep – not good.

Anyway, about a month ago, while digging through a closet in my home office, I found a few Dormsbury originals – some still unfinished – the paper wrinkled and yellowed with age. Using various computer aids, I tried to restore them to their former infamous glory…

The “Roy” mentioned above, was the BJU CFO, Roy Barton.

The “Chancellor”, at the time, was Dr. Bob Jones, Jr.  This strip actually foretold what the future Chancellor, Dr. Bob Jones III, would admit on Larry King Live in 2000 — that the interracial dating policy was “worthless” and not supported by Scripture — my original assertion.

I couldn’t find the finished original, so I had to use the pencil sketch to produce this.  BTW, there is no TV station WAX (that I know of). ~ EKTA

It is 2009, right? I had to double check because I read an article recently about an interracial couple being denied a marriage license and I began to wonder about time machines and such.

But on to the topic at hand… Not too long ago, a friend of a friend expressed her befuddlement that a black female acquaintance of hers could consider herself a “proud black woman” and date a white guy.  I’m a proud black woman and my husband is a nice Jewish boy, so I told her as much and added that those two facts about myself (being a proud black woman and having a non-black husband) really have nothing to do with eachother.  That was all I felt I needed to say at the time. I didn’t really know this friend of a friend and wasn’t terribly concerned about how much she understood about that bit of my life.

Things got a little more interesting after that though when my actual friend (our mutual friend) of 12 years  pretty much co-signed what the friend of a friend said. Woah. We talked about it briefly, but I was really just shocked (and hurt) that someone I thought knew me really well didn’t seem to know that part of me at all.

My husband and I occasionally get hassled about the whole interracial thing, but I never feel the need to defend my marriage. I know that some people get involved in interracial relationships (and every other kind of relationship) for some very fucked up reasons, but I do not count myself in that number. My marriage is a beautiful awesome thing and people can either see that and rock with it or not.

Since this is my blog though and it is about love, I thought I would just talk briefly about how one can be proud of one’s culture and choose a mate that is not of it. In short, loving and appreciating your own culture does not mean that you reject other cultures. Loving and appreciating someone of another culture does not mean that you love and/or appreciate your own culture any less.

I think that’s pretty simple. Do you?

Today’s post is here, at The Spearhead. An excerpt:

I approach the podium. My hands tremble slightly. Even though the atmosphere is one of support, I’m not used to speaking in front of crowds.

“My name is Cless Alvein,” I begin. (Actually, that’s my pseudonym, but let’s go with it this way for now.)

“Hi Cless!” the crowd calls back in unison. The first step to self-understanding and growth is the ability to articulate one’s predicament.

“My name is Cless Alvein, and I’m looking for love. I’m looking for a beautiful, intelligent, sweet woman to caress and cherish. I guess you could say that I’m a love-a-holic.”

I don’t know how many people from the great state of Louisiana read my blog, but I have some information to share. Now before I go ahead lemme remind you readers that Louisiana is indeed located in the United States, and it is not a foreign country like Mississippi. OK, so now that I got that out of the way, what’s the deal down in Tangipahoa Parish, Louisiana? Why aren’t marriage licenses issued to interracial couples?

HAMMOND, La. — A Louisiana justice of the peace said he refused to issue a marriage license to an interracial couple out of concern for any children the couple might have.

Keith Bardwell, justice of the peace in Tangipahoa Parish, says it is his experience that most interracial marriages do not last long.

Neither Bardwell nor the couple immediately returned phone calls from The Associated Press. But Bardwell told the Daily Star of Hammond that he was not a racist.

“I do ceremonies for black couples right here in my house,” Bardwell said. “My main concern is for the children.”

Bardwell said he has discussed the topic with blacks and whites, along with witnessing some interracial marriages. He came to the conclusion that most of black society does not readily accept offspring of such relationships, and neither does white society, he said.

“I don’t do interracial marriages because I don’t want to put children in a situation they didn’t bring on themselves,” Bardwell said. “In my heart, I feel the children will later suffer.”

If he does an interracial marriage for one couple, he must do the same for all, he said.

“I try to treat everyone equally,” he said. (Click to read more)

Well at least Bardwell was honest enough to say that he tries to treat everyone equally. I try to wake up every day knowing that bigotry is a thing of the past, but I don’t break any laws doing it. But Mr. Bardwell on the other hand? Well, let’s just say that he’s a man who lives by his own rules. How in the hell is he the Justice of the Peace? And didn’t he get the post-racial memo?

Of course it’s often said that love is blind, and so too is Lady Justice, but then I have to remember that it’s the “Dirty South” we’re talking about here. Even so, there is no way this couple (Terence McKay and Beth Humphrey) are going to lose any lawsuit especially considering that the ACLU is in on this.

Did you like the “I’m not racist, I do ceremonies for Black couples in my house,” line? I did. I love it when they say stupid shit like that. You know, like, “I’m not racist, I went to Gym with a Black guy!” I’m assuming that there aren’t that many interracial couples looking to get married down there or else this would have been a well known story way before now. But maybe this isn’t about race mixing and the production of mongrels as is the old thought.

Maybe he truly does care about the kids. I mean, the groom in this case is Black, and maybe he doesn’t want any future children they bear growing up in a single parent home after daddy bounces – you know those Black guys are good at that, right? But then again, look at how a certain well known U.S. president who happened to be a product of an interracial marriage turned out. But hey, I guess in the mind of Keith Bardwell he’s an anomaly.

What do you think?

Last week, dating website OKCupid posted a blog about race affecting the chances of getting a response. While their candor about racism being alive and well is refreshing in an era of “We elected a Black president! Racism: OVER!” their findings were nevertheless flawed for many reasons, and skewed their argument a tad. (ReadWriteWeb nitpicked the blog post as well, and were eager to proclaim some of the results as “white men are today’s punching bag – at least on the OKCupid blog.”) The overwhelming finding: people were not very willing to date outside of their race, though they were curious.

There are many reasons that the findings were as commented on and analyzed as they were. The exact numbers of people polled, breakdown of racial makeup of said members, sexuality and gender were not released, which immediately calls the findings into question. More than that, though, and perhaps because of the distortion, the findings show that white men and women ultimately prefer to respond to and date their own race, and that Black women are the most ignored in message replies.

Oscar Wilde said that "art dictates life." If Couples Retreat is art, life is sad.

A few more interesting “factoids”:

- The better the match (broken down by responses to survey questions), the better the chance of receiving a message
- Black men are very likely to respond to Asian women (55 percent); Black males have a 17-percent chance of receiving a reply from Asian females
- White males have the best match rates with white females
- White men have a high rate of response (38 percent) from Black women
- White men dominate in getting responses; Black men are not as lucky (colors representing success; oh, OkCupid, you sly dogs!)
- White men are are not as responsive overall as those of other races
- White women would prefer to date someone of their own race/skin color (54 percent), and white men share a similar preference (40 percent)
- White people be RACIST…

(That last one may or may not be true.)

Again, I can’t speak for the validity of the findings, but I, like many people, immediately took the results at face value. When I first read the blog — admittedly, after seeing the ReadWriteWeb post — and processed the findings, I was overwhelmed with emotions. Sadness, confusion, anger, hurt, rage; my feelings ran the gamut. For a site seemingly as smart as OkCupid with seemingly intelligent daters on the surface, the data was that much more bothersome. This led me to process my own online dating past.

I have my own personal experiences in dating, and the vast majority of them have been interracial. I have been on the receiving end of the “it’s not you, it’s me” speeches, the non-replies, perusing profiles and seeing women explicitly state a preference for one race, blatant and subtle ignorance in profiles and responses. It was like marching into battle every time I logged onto the site, expecting to be shot down.

Like Miley Cyrus and Twitter avoidance as a result, this is an argument against dating.

Such is life in the dating world, as it is a battlefield (Pat Benetar did say it best), but I naively thought that online daters would be a more discerning, open-minded bunch. And OkCupid’s blog suggests that my past is within range of their results. Add to that the fact that my regular dating would fall in line with this as well, and it suggested a few things: either their findings were really true, I am a crappy dater, I haven’t met the right woman, and/or I should give up.

Then, I got all logical. What benefit is there to post such xenophobic-leaning findings on a dating site’s blog? Why were the methods of experimentation not published? And what can be done with the results, slanted or not? Well, there are answers to all of these.

Obviously, the OkCupid folks love crunching data and showing readers their findings. As America has been oddly quiet on racial issues since Obama was elected — though those DELIGHTFUL Birther/Teabaggers are not that shy — the idea of race in dating online is intriguing and rarely mentioned. While interracial marriage is legal in all 50 states since Loving v. Virginia (1967 Supreme Court case), and interracial dating and marriage are more common nowadays, there is an unspoken ideal preference for dating and marrying within in one’s race. I am not saying this as fact, but my personal experiences within my family and via friends’ families are predominant in being with someone of the same race. In other words: people are more open to the idea of interracial coupling, but it’s not all “Ebony and Ivory” yet. OkCupid is merely the messenger, and you can use their results and website at your own risk.

Oh, racists. Always trying to stir up trouble.

So if the website is being all daring with their article — highlighted by their quote “being poor gives us a certain freedom. To alienate all our users. So there” — why not go the extra step and show the numbers of said people that were tabulated? Good question, and one that can’t be answered without contacting them directly. No matter what, it succeeded in getting people thinking and talking about racial attitudes in dating. And really, isn’t that enough? As long as people are mindful of what they prefer and perhaps being more receptive to others, the mindset of altering attitudes might be worth obscuring a few figures. I don’t agree with this if true, but it isn’t a scientific journal; it’s a blog about why people be wanting to bang. And bang they will.

But who will they bang? And why? In examining the article, I learned quite a bit about the inner workings of OkCupid and online dater preferences. I learned that people will do what makes them comfortable. And that magnified why people need to step outside their comfort zones to truly find happiness. People will gravitate towards maintaining the status quo that was taught to them, if only to avoid disturbing the delicate fabric of society.

However, people can open themselves up to something wonderful, if they are willing to put in the work. On the subject of uneasiness, film director Guy Ritchie said, “You have to be comfortable being uncomfortable.” He referred to fear being worse than the potentially threatening situation itself. Life is not all chocolate-fudge-ripple unicorns, but enduring something once seen as scary could be worth the experience.

Mad Men's Christina Hendricks and Super Troopers' Geoffrey Arend: encouraging geeks to go for the hottie.

In director Kevin Smith’s Chasing Amy, female protagonist Alyssa Jones was more wordy and yet direct on the subject, explaining to her lover, Holden McNeil, why she branched out from her comfort zone of dating women:

“You know, I didn’t just heed what I was taught, men and women should be together, it’s the natural way, that kind of thing. I’m not with you because of what family, society, life tried to instill in me from day one. The way the world is, how seldom it is that you meet that one person who just GETS you – it’s so rare. My parents didn’t really have it. There were no examples set for me in the world of male-female relationships. And to cut oneself off from finding that person, to immediately halve your options by eliminating the possibility of finding that one person within your own gender, that just seemed stupid to me. So I didn’t. But then you came along. You, the one least likely. I mean, you were a guy.”

Jones (and Smith) manage to explain in one monologue what OkCupid took hundreds of words and data to try to say: wake up and realize what is out there.

With most relationships ending for a variety of reasons, and more than half of all marriages ending in divorce, why not expand those horizons to buck the negative trend? There may be heartaches, issues and shakeups in stepping outside of the box. The initial distress, however, could net the person they’ve always wanted. And wouldn’t it be nice. I know that it would be for me.

OkCupid, an Internet dating website, put out their numbers on race and dating last week. Some of the main findings that I pull from it (OkCupid had a somewhat different take):

1. Women: Middle Eastern women  are hot! Black women are not. White women are second-to-last (despite all that free marketing from Hollywood).
2. Men: white men are on top, Asian Indian men dead last, black men second-to-last.
3. Black women like white men more than they are liked back – even though men are dogs!
4. Only some people prefer to date within their own race, like white women and Asian Indian men. Most do not given the chance.
5. Race affects dating for both men and women and it is not just a matter of looks or stated preferences either.

“Hot”, “liked” and “prefer” are based on reply rates to messages between those whom OkCupid matched based on stated preferences and some other stuff. They also controlled for looks and male height, so this is not a tale of supposedly short Asian men or ugly black women.

While the reply rates were wildly different based on the race of the sender, there was little difference based on, say, Zodiac sign.

The advantage of the OkCupid study is that it looks at almost a million people and looks at their actions not their fine words. (They did throw in some opinion polls, but I am basing nothing on that.)

The disadvantage of the study is that their users are “better-educated, younger, and far more progressive” than most, that online dating can only be part of the picture and that their study gives the what but not the why.

Even so, their numbers generally do match what one New York dating service (whose name escapes me) found: that black men avoid dating black women and that American women avoid Asian men, particularly Asian Indian men.

But, unlike OkCupid, the owner of that dating service asked his customers why: black men told him they do not need a dating service to meet black women while American women said they do not want to date foreign men – which apparently they had stereotyped Asian men as being (the perpetual foreigner stereotype).

The OkCupid post got over 500 comments. I did not read them all, but most of the ones I saw kept making the point that having certain preferences is  not the same as being racist. That misses the point that the study made: race still mattered even after taking that stuff into account.

Women listed in order of reply rates to their messages:

1. 49.5 Middle Eastern
2. 46.0 Pacific Islander
3. 44.4 Other
4. 43.7 Asian
5. 42.7 Indian
6. 42.5 Hispanic/Latin
7. 42.3 Native American
8. 42.1 White
9. 34.3 Black

Men listed in order of reply rates to their messages:

1. 29.2 White
2. 27.8 Native American
3. 26.8 Other
4. 25.7 Middle Eastern
5. 24.6 Pacific Islander
6. 23.1 Hispanic/Latin
7. 22.2 Asian
8. 21.7 Black
9. 20.8 Indian

Who replies to black women (by reply rate):

• 41: Native American, Other
• 40: Middle Eastern
• 39:
• 38:
• 37: Black, Indian
• 36: Hispanic/Latin
• 35:
• 34: (the mean)
• 33:
• 32: Pacific Islander, White
• 31: Asian

Who replies to black men (by reply rate):

• 28: Black
• 27: Native American
• 26:
• 25: Pacific Islander
• 24: Other
• 23:
• 22:
• 21: Indian, Middle Eastern, White (the mean)
• 20:
• 19: Hispanic/Latin
• 18:
• 17: Asian

See also:

• OkCupid: Your Race Affects Whether People Write You Back – their take was different
• Other blog posts on this: Siditty, Racialicious, Roissy
• race and dating – the Columbia speed dating study
  • Asian fetish
  • White men that like black women - geeky betas
  • Black women that white men like – thin, dark, middle-class with natural hair
  • Why so few white men marry black women, part I – because white men are racist
  • Why so few white men marry black women, part II – because black women are racist (per the Columbia speed dating study)
  • Why so few white men marry black women, part III – because most white men have a strange way of approaching women
  • Why so few black men marry black women
  • sexual selection and race – according to Darwin and Jared Diamond
• perpetual foreigner stereotype