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	<title>interracial-marriage &amp;laquo; WordPress.com Tag Feed</title>
	<link>http://en.wordpress.com/tag/interracial-marriage/</link>
	<description>Feed of posts on WordPress.com tagged "interracial-marriage"</description>
	<pubDate>Thu, 23 May 2013 10:47:27 +0000</pubDate>

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<title><![CDATA[Mixed Couples - Janet Jackson &amp; Wissam Al Mana]]></title>
<link>http://nomorerace.wordpress.com/2013/03/28/mixed-couples-janet-jackson-wissam-al-mana/</link>
<pubDate>Thu, 28 Mar 2013 14:20:14 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Earnest Harris</dc:creator>
<guid>http://nomorerace.wordpress.com/2013/03/28/mixed-couples-janet-jackson-wissam-al-mana/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[Imagine a celebrity couple who stays out of the limelight. Janet Jackson and Wissam Al Mana married]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="attachment_2308" class="wp-caption aligncenter" style="width: 590px"><a href="http://nomorerace.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/untitled17.png"><img class="size-full wp-image-2308" alt="Imagine a celebrity couple who stays out of the limelight." src="http://nomorerace.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/untitled17.png?w=580&#038;h=382" width="580" height="382" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Imagine a celebrity couple who stays out of the limelight.</p></div>
<p>Janet Jackson and Wissam Al Mana married secretly several months ago, after a three year relationship.</p>
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<title><![CDATA[joneses]]></title>
<link>http://mulattodiaries.wordpress.com/2013/03/28/joneses/</link>
<pubDate>Thu, 28 Mar 2013 12:04:39 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>tiffdjones</dc:creator>
<guid>http://mulattodiaries.wordpress.com/2013/03/28/joneses/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[Disclaimer: I&#8217;m having one of those crazy stressful work weeks which during which i can only s]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Disclaimer: I&#8217;m having one of those crazy stressful work weeks which during which i can only steal about five minutes to blog, so things are pretty sparse around here.</p>
<p>Luckily for me people have been finding there way to the blog by searching the web for Rashida Jones and/or Quincy Jones and Peggy Lipton.  I&#8217;ve been sitting on this photo for a few days, and figure all signs point to &#8220;it&#8217;s time to post it&#8221; even though I don&#8217;t have much to go with it.</p>
<p>I simply love the photograph.</p>
<p>The article below is brief, yet relevant.</p>
<p>The article below that I have posted before, but think the interview is brilliant enough to repost</p>
<p><a href="http://mulattodiaries.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/kenya-rahida-kidada-q.jpg"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-6355" alt="kenya, rahida, kidada, q" src="http://mulattodiaries.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/kenya-rahida-kidada-q.jpg?w=500&#038;h=357" width="500" height="357" /></a></p>
<p style="text-align:center;"><strong>Kenya, Quincy, Rashida, and Kidada Jones</strong></p>
<h1>Rashida Jones on Being Biracial: &#8220;I Have No Issues With My Identity&#8221;</h1>
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<p>The actress talks about the challenges of finding her place in Hollywood.</p>
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<div>By Evelyn Diaz</div>
<div>Posted: 07/10/2012</div>
<div>The actress and screenwriter, whose film <i>Celeste and Jesse Forever </i>is due in theaters next month, opens up to <a href="http://www.eurweb.com/2012/07/rashida-jones-on-new-film-being-bi-racial-in-hollywood-i-dont-have-any-issues-with-my-identity-audio/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">EurWeb.com</a> about being biracial in Hollywood (she&#8217;s Black and Jewish).</p>
<p>&#8220;It&#8217;s more of a challenge for other people than it is for me,&#8221; she says. &#8220;I have no issues with my identity.&#8221;</p>
<p>The daughter of media mogul <b>Quincy Jones</b> and actress <b>Peggy Lipton</b> does admit that her Hollywood handlers had trouble categorizing her at first. &#8220;Other people think I should be settling into one thing or another, but I don&#8217;t want to be limited,&#8221; she says.</p>
<p>&#8220;I spent so much time when I was younger being limited,&#8221; she goes on. &#8220;I wasn&#8217;t dark enough for some parts, or I was too light, or I wasn&#8217;t quirky enough.&#8221;</p>
<p>Now, the 36-year-old Harvard grad is one of the most promising talents in Hollywood, both in front of and behind the camera. After a breakthrough role in <i>I Love You, Man</i>, she landed a part in the NBC sitcom <i>Parks and Recreation</i> and created the comic book series <i>Frenemy of the State</i>, which is currently being adapted for the big screen with her as the star.</p>
<p>Jones was also nominated for a 2011 NAACP Image Award for Influential Multiracial Public Figure.</p></div>
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<h1>Rashida Jones’ Sister Kidada Agrees “She Passed For White” But Did The Mean Girls At Harvard Scare Her Away From Dating Black Men Forever?</h1>
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<div><a href="http://mulattodiaries.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/jones-sisters.jpg"><img class="aligncenter  wp-image-6356" alt="jones-sisters" src="http://mulattodiaries.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/jones-sisters.jpg?w=300&#038;h=182" width="300" height="182" /></a></div>
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<p>RASHIDA: I wouldn’t trade my family for anything. My mother shocked her Jewish parents by marrying out of her religion and race. And my father: growing up poor and black, buckling the odds and becoming so successful, having the attitude of “I love this woman! We’re going to have babies and to hell with anyone who doesn’t like it!”</p>
<p>KIDADA: We had a sweet, encapsulated family. We were our own little world. But there’s the warmth of love inside a family, and then there’s the outside world. When I was born in 1974, there were almost no other biracial families–or black families–in our neighborhood. I was brown-skinned with short, curly hair. Mommy would take me out in my stroller and people would say, “What a beautiful baby…whose is it?” Rashida came along in 1976. She had straight hair and lighter skin. My eyes were brown; hers were green. IN preschool, our mother enrolled us in the Buckley School, an exclusive private school. It was almost all white.</p>
<p>RASHIDA: In reaction to all that differentess, Kidada tried hard to define herself as a unique person by becoming a real tomboy.</p>
<p>KIDADA: While Rashida wore girly dresses, I loved my Mr. T dolls and my Jaws T-shirt. But seeing the straight hair like the other girls had, like my sister had…I felt: “It’s not fair! I want that hair!”</p>
<p>PEGGY: I was the besotted mother of two beautiful daughters I’d had with the man I loved–I saw Kidada through those eyes. I thought she had the most gorgeous hair–those curly, curly ringlets. I still think so!</p>
<p>KIDADA: One day a little blond classmate just out and called me “Chocolate bar.” I shot back: “Vanilla!”</p>
<p>QUINCY: I felt deeply for Kidada; <strong>I thought racism would be over by the eighties.</strong> My role was to put things in perspective for her, project optimism, imply that things were better than they’d been for me growing up on the south side of Chicago in the 1930s.</p>
<p>KIDADA: I had another hurdle as a kid: I was dyslexic. I was held back in second grade. I flunked algebra three times. The hair, the skin, the frustration with schoolwork: It was all part of the shake. I was a strong-willed, quirky child–mischievous.</p>
<p>RASHIDA: Kidada was cool. I was a dork. I had a serious case of worship for my big sister. She was so strong, so popular, so rebellious. Here’s the difference in our charisma: When I was 8 and Kidada was 10, we tried to get invited into the audience of our favorite TV shows. Mine was Not Necessarily the News, a mock news show, and hers was Punky Brewster, about a spunky orphan. I went by the book, writing a fan letter–and I got back a form letter. Kidada called the show, used her charm, wouldn’t take no for an answer. Within a week she was invited to the set!</p>
<p>KIDADA: <strong>I was kicked out of Buckley in second grade for behavior problems. I didn’t want my mother to come to my new school. If kids saw her, it would be: “your mom’s white!” I told Mom she couldn’t pick me up; she had to wait down the street in her car. Did Rashida have that problem? No! She passed for white.</strong></p>
<p>RASHIDA: <strong>“Passed”?! I had no control over how I looked. This is my natural hair, these are my natural eyes! I’ve never tried to be anything that I’m not.</strong> Today I feel guilty, knowing that because of the way our genes tumbled out, Kidada had to go through pain I didn’t have to endure. Loving her so much, I’m sad that I’ll never share that experience with her.</p>
<p>KIDADA: Let me make this clear: My feelings about my looks were never “in comparison to” Rashida. It was the white girls in class that I compared myself to. Racial issues didn’t exist at home. Our parents weren’t black and white; they were Mommy and Daddy.<br />
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RASHIDA: But it was different with our grandparents. Our dad’s father died before we were born. We didn’t see our dad’s mother often. I felt comfortable with Mommy’s parents, who’d come to love my dad like a son. Kidada wasn’t so comfortable with them. I felt Jewish; Kidada didn’t.</strong></p>
<p><strong></strong><strong>KIDADA: I knew Mommy’s parents were upset at first when she married a black man, and though they did the best they could, I picked up on what I thought was their subtle disapproval of me. Mommy says they loved me, but I felt estranged from them.</strong></p>
<p>While Rashida stayed and excelled at Buckley, Kidada bumped from school to school; she got expelled from 10 in all because of behavior problems, which turned out to be related to her dyslexia.</p>
<p>KIDADA: We had a nanny, Anna, from El Salvador. I couldn’t get away with stuff with her. Mommy knew Anna could give her the backup she needed in the discipline department because she was my color. Anna was my “ethnic mama.”</p>
<p><strong>PEGGY: Kidada never wanted to be white. She spoke with a little…twist in her language. She had ‘tude. Rashida spoke more primly, and her identity touched all bases. She’d announce, “I’m going to be the first female, black, Jewish president of the U.S.!”</strong></p>
<p><strong>KIDADA: When I was 11, a white girlfriend and I were going to meet up with these boys she knew. I’d told her, because I wanted to be accepted, “Tell them I’m tan.” When we met them, the one she was setting me up with said, “You didn’t tell me she was black.” That’s When I started defining myself as black, period. Why fight it? Everyone wanted to put me in a box. On passports, at doctor’s offices, when I changed schools, there were boxes to check: Caucasian, Black, Hispanic, Asian. I don’t mean any dishonor to my mother–who is the most wonderful mother in the world, and we are so alike–but: I am black. Rashida answers questions about “what” she is differently. She uses all the adjectives: black, white, Jewish.</strong></p>
<p>RASHIDA: Yes, I do. And I get: <strong>“But you look so white!” “You’re not black!”</strong> I want to say: “Do you know how hurtful that is to somebody who identifies so strongly with half of who she is?” Still, that’s not as bad as when people don’t know. A year ago a taxi driver said to me, That Jennifer Lopez is a beautiful woman. Thank God she left that disgusting black man, Puffy.” I said, “I’m black.” He tried to smooth it over. IF you’re obviously black, white people watch their tongues, but with me they think they can say anything. When people don’t know “what” you are, you get your heart broken daily.</p>
<p>KIDADA: Rashida has it harder than I do: She can feel rejection from both parties.</p>
<p>RASHIDA: <strong>When I audition for white roles, I’m told I’m “too exotic.” When I go up for black roles, I’m told I’m “too light.” I’ve lost a lot of jobs, looking the way I do.</strong></p>
<p>PEGGY: As Kidada grew older, it became clear that she wouldn’t be comfortable unless she was around kids who looked more like her. So I searched for a private school that had a good proportion of black students, and when she was 12, I found one.</p>
<p>KIDADA: That changed everything. I’d go to my black girlfriends’ houses and–I wanted their life! I lived in a gated house in a gated neighborhood, where playdates were: “My security will call your security.” Going to my black friends’ houses, I saw a world that was warm and real, where families sat down for dinner together. At our house, Rashida and I often ate dinner on trays, watching TV in Anna’s room, because our dada was composing and performing at night and Mom sat in on his sessions.</p>
<p>RASHIDA: But any family, from any background, can have that coziness too.</p>
<p>KIDADA: I’m sure that’s true, but I experienced all that heart and soul in black families. I started putting pressure on Mommy to let me go to a mostly black public school. I was on her and on her and on her. I wouldn’t let up until she said yes.</p>
<p>PEGGY: So one day when Kidada was 14, we drove to Fairfax High, where I gave a fake address and enrolled her.</p>
<p>KIDADA: All those kids! A deejay in the quad at lunch! Bus passes! <strong>All those cute black boys; no offense, but I thought white boys were boring. </strong>I fit in right away; the kids had my outgoing vibe. My skin and hair had been inconveniences at my other schools–I could never get those Madonna spiked bangs that all the white girls were wearing–but my girlfriends at Fairfax thought my skin was beautiful, and they loved to put their hands in my hair and braid it. The kids knew who my dad was an my stock went up. I felt secure. I was home.</p>
<p>RASHIDA: Our parents divorced when I was 10; Kidada went to live with Dad in his new house in Bel Air, and I moved with Mom to a house in Brentwood. Mom was very depressed after the divorce, and I made it my business to keep her company.</p>
<p>KIDADA: I wanted to live with Dad not because he was the black parent, but because he traveled. I could get away with more.</p>
<p>RASHIDA: At this time, anyone looking at Kidada and me would have seen two very different girls. I wore my navy blue jumper and crisp white blouse; K wore baggy Adidas sweatsuits and door-knocker earrings. My life was school, school, school. I’m with Bill Cosby: It’s every bit as black as it is white to be a nerd with a book in your hand.</p>
<p>KIDADA: The fact that Rashida was good at school while I was dyslexic intimidated me and pushed me more into my defiant role. I was ditching classes and going to clubs.</p>
<p>RASHIDA: About this time, Kidada was replacing me with younger girls from Fairfax who she could lead and be friends with.</p>
<p>KIDADA: They were my little sisters, as far as I was concerned.</p>
<p>RASHIDA: When I’d go to our dad’s house on weekends, eager to see Kidada, the new “little sisters” would be there. She’d be dressing them up like dolls. It hurt! I was jealous!</p>
<p>KIDADA: You felt that? I always thought you’d rejected me.</p>
<p>RASHIDA: Still, our love for the same music–Prince, Bobby Brown, Bell Biv DeVoe–would bring us together on weekends.<br />
Read more at <a href="http://bossip.com/623483/rashida-jones-sister-kidada-agrees-she-passed-for-white-but-did-the-mean-girls-at-harvard-scare-her-away-from-dating-black-men-forever/#tGvOXe6QHreb2M0W.99">http://bossip.com/623483/rashida-jones-sister-kidada-agrees-she-passed-for-white-but-did-the-mean-girls-at-harvard-scare-her-away-from-dating-black-men-forever/#tGvOXe6QHreb2M0W.99</a></div>
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<title><![CDATA[I'd like to Call Bullshit on Proposition 8 for $300, please?]]></title>
<link>http://blackfeministrising.wordpress.com/2013/03/28/id-like-to-call-bullshit-on-proposition-8-for-300-please/</link>
<pubDate>Thu, 28 Mar 2013 06:20:45 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Black Feminist Rising</dc:creator>
<guid>http://blackfeministrising.wordpress.com/2013/03/28/id-like-to-call-bullshit-on-proposition-8-for-300-please/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[Same-sex marriage isn&#8217;t a feminist issue. Same-sex marriage isn&#8217;t a racial issue. Same-s]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Same-sex marriage isn&#8217;t a feminist issue. Same-sex marriage isn&#8217;t a racial issue. Same-sex marriage isn&#8217;t an economic issue. Same-sex marriage is a human issue. If you&#8217;re against gay marriage than you&#8217;re against someone&#8217;s constitutional right to the pursuit of happiness.</p>
<p>And if being gay is a sin, than I&#8217;m totally going to hell for stealing a pen from the campus coffee shop the other day.</p>
<p>&#8220;Traditional&#8221; marriage, otherwise known as the Nuclear Family, was only recently introduced during the late 1940&#8242;s and became the norm during Richard Nixon&#8217;s presidential election. Guys, that was like, not even 100 years ago. I&#8217;m serious.</p>
<p>So you see, the idea of marriage and who fits the bill has been continuously changing throughout the decades depending on the majority. The people who suffer are often the ones that have no voice, not because they don&#8217;t want one, but because they are not given one. These people are usually ethnic minorities, women and members of the LGBT community.</p>
<p>Minorities are just now being invited to the marriage party. It&#8217;s only been until recently that some of us have been invited to dance. Interracial marriage was finally legalized after the 1967 Supreme Court case, <em>Loving v. Virginia</em>.  That was less than 45 years ago. The prohibition of interracial marriage and gay marriage aren&#8217;t that different, both penalize someone for something they cannot change. The prohibition of both have been validated by pseudoscience, extreme religion, ignorance and selfishness. Arguments against human rights have literally been won by being a jackass. I&#8217;m still serious.</p>
<p>Yes, our country is changing, but why is that so frightening for people? What is so frightening about a world where people are different and happy to be? What is so frightening about realizing that political issues, are actually issues that affect humanity? What is so frightening about liberation? About equality?</p>
<p>So I think you know my position, right? If not, well, the title of the blog should&#8217;ve been your first clue.</p>
<p>At the end of our lives we will have sacrificed so much of who we are that we will only be former shells of ourselves. Don&#8217;t sacrifice the special parts of yourself because other people can&#8217;t handle your badassness. Be proud of who you are, embrace it and don&#8217;t look back. Trust me, the view isn&#8217;t worth it.</p>
<p>Move forward. The world will follow.</p>
<p>Best,</p>
<p>Black Feminist Rising</p>
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<title><![CDATA[Republican party seems to find their way to the wrong side of social issues.]]></title>
<link>http://bobdog93.com/2013/03/28/republican-party-seems-to-find-their-way-to-the-wrong-side-of-social-issues-2/</link>
<pubDate>Thu, 28 Mar 2013 02:00:36 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>bobdog93</dc:creator>
<guid>http://bobdog93.com/2013/03/28/republican-party-seems-to-find-their-way-to-the-wrong-side-of-social-issues-2/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[                  DOMA has been called a mistake and a bad piece of legislature by Bill Clinton, the]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>                  DOMA has been called a mistake and a bad piece of legislature by Bill Clinton, the president who signed it into law. The American public supports gay marriage, Democrats support it, people in the Republican party support it, but only 3 out of 277 Republican elected representaives support it. Why again does the conservative movement stick with antiquated ideas? Why do they refuse to acknowledge the people?</p>
<p>              The answer to these questions I believe are simple. Look at who and how many contributed to Mitt Romneys campaign. He raised alot of money from alot less people. The answer lies there. It is in the money, the contributors drive these ideals and provide the funds to keep them alive. Without the influx of billionaires money the Republican party would have to adapt and truly change their message. Until the money dries up nothing will change.</p>
<p>            To say people only get married to procreate is ridiculus. How many people get married and dont have children, are you going to revoke their right to marry. Allowing homosexuals to get married will not ruin the institution of marriage, I dont belive it can be ruined. If it could divorce would have finished it off. Please dont bring religion into this, it does not belong there. If you want religion in government, move to Iran and see how you like it there.</p>
<p>                We need to look at this like the civil rights movement. When we look back at segregation and the way African Americans were once treated it makes most of us sick. This is only 45 or 50 years ago. In 1967 the Supreme Court repealed a ban on Interacial Marriages. So there is a precedent set for the Supreme Court to get involved in cases like this. </p>
<p>               Hearing Hillary Clinton, President Obama and Joe Biden come out for gay marriage gives me hope. Many other Democrats also vocally support this. Everyone deserves to be treated equally, we are the United States. I really hope we can get past this bigotry and move forward to real issues. This shouldnt even be an issue.</p>
<p><span class="post_sig">Posted from WordPress for Android</span></p>
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<title><![CDATA[Republican party seems to find their way to the wrong side of social issues.]]></title>
<link>http://bobdog93.com/2013/03/28/republican-party-seems-to-find-their-way-to-the-wrong-side-of-social-issues/</link>
<pubDate>Thu, 28 Mar 2013 02:00:23 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>bobdog93</dc:creator>
<guid>http://bobdog93.com/2013/03/28/republican-party-seems-to-find-their-way-to-the-wrong-side-of-social-issues/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[                  DOMA has been called a mistake and a bad piece of legislature by Bill Clinton, the]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>                  DOMA has been called a mistake and a bad piece of legislature by Bill Clinton, the president who signed it into law. The American public supports gay marriage, Democrats support it, people in the Republican party support it, but only 3 out of 277 Republican elected representaives support it. Why again does the conservative movement stick with antiquated ideas? Why do they refuse to acknowledge the people?</p>
<p>              The answer to these questions I believe are simple. Look at who and how many contributed to Mitt Romneys campaign. He raised alot of money from alot less people. The answer lies there. It is in the money, the contributors drive these ideals and provide the funds to keep them alive. Without the influx of billionaires money the Republican party would have to adapt and truly change their message. Until the money dries up nothing will change.</p>
<p>            To say people only get married to procreate is ridiculus. How many people get married and dont have children, are you going to revoke their right to marry. Allowing homosexuals to get married will not ruin the institution of marriage, I dont belive it can be ruined. If it could divorce would have finished it off. Please dont bring religion into this, it does not belong there. If you want religion in government, move to Iran and see how you like it there.</p>
<p>                We need to look at this like the civil rights movement. When we look back at segregation and the way African Americans were once treated it makes most of us sick. This is only 45 or 50 years ago. In 1967 the Supreme Court repealed a ban on Interacial Marriages. So there is a precedent set for the Supreme Court to get involved in cases like this. </p>
<p>               Hearing Hillary Clinton, President Obama and Joe Biden come out for gay marriage gives me hope. Many other Democrats also vocally support this. Everyone deserves to be treated equally, we are the United States. I really hope we can get past this bigotry and move forward to real issues. This shouldnt even be an issue.</p>
<p><span class="post_sig">Posted from WordPress for Android</span></p>
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<title><![CDATA[Marriage is Gay: Why The Right Is Oh So Wrong]]></title>
<link>http://markravingmad.wordpress.com/2013/03/27/marriage-is-gay-why-the-right-is-oh-so-wrong/</link>
<pubDate>Wed, 27 Mar 2013 22:49:58 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>markwruff</dc:creator>
<guid>http://markravingmad.wordpress.com/2013/03/27/marriage-is-gay-why-the-right-is-oh-so-wrong/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[Really what is there to say on this that hasn&#8217;t already been said?  Nothing, but by the look o]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Really what is there to say on this that hasn&#8217;t already been said?  Nothing, but by the look of things it hasn&#8217;t sunk in yet, so we’re coming around for another pass.</p>
<p>As you, dear reader, have most likely been aware, the past two days have seen what will likely be a pivotal moment in the history of gay rights: The Federal Supreme Court has heard argument on constitutionality of California’s ban on gay marriage, known as Prop 8, and the Federal  Defense of Marriage Act or DOMA.  Now we play the waiting game.</p>
<p>First and foremost, the fact that we even need to have this debate is eventually going be a point of national shame, much the same way we now regard the debates regarding interracial marriage, but again, it seems that this fact has yet to sink in, so we’re going to do this the hard way.</p>
<p>First and foremost among the arguments championed by those who oppose equality in marriage is the famed “sanctity” argument, which holds that marriage has been defined since the beginning of civilization as the union between a single man and woman.  The key flaw in this argument is that it offers no reason for the status quo to remain in place.  For example, the definition of slavery as one person being the property of also stood from roughly the beginning of human civilization until a point in relatively recent history when the light bulb clicked on and we realized what a horrifically bad idea that was.  Also much like with slavery, the United States seems to be making a late arrival to this realization, and will inevitably be shamed for it in the future.  In short, there is absolutely no reason to believe that just because something is traditional, that it is also moral or constitutional.</p>
<p>Furthermore is must be noted that it is by definition not the job of the United States government to protect the “sanctity” of anything, which represents the key hole in the second favorite line of logic used by those in opposition to marriage equality: the defense of American religious freedom.</p>
<p>Now, to call this argument irrelevant is a true understatement of the highest order.  The concept of religious freedom in this country is typified by the first amendment which clearly illustrates that the state may not make any laws pertaining to religion such as to favor one faith over another.  This is the FIRST thing in the constitution for a reason, but no matter how critical to the American Experience this may be, we always seem to be stuck with the common refrain that the United States is a “Christian Nation”. What does one even say to something so blatantly false as to contradict one of the defining elements of the United States?</p>
<p>The fact of the matter is that Christianity is one of many religions practiced throughout this nation by individuals who are all guaranteed equal protection of their rights by the constitution.  What none of these Zealots seem to realize is that the United States does not revolve around them.  There are religions, including many Christian faiths, which do not oppose marriage equality.  Thus, by arguing that awarding equal rights to the gay community infringes on their religious freedom, they are demonstrating nothing less than an utter inability to understand what religious freedom is by demanding preferential treatment to their specific religious viewpoint.</p>
<p>Now, I know that none of what I’m saying here is news to anyone with three brain cells to rub together, but judging by the fact that we even need to have this debate, It is clear that a large portion of our countrymen don’t have even that much to work with.</p>
<p>Finally comes the argument which, while not as blatantly illogical and contradictory as the “religious freedom” argument, holds a close second: The parentage argument.  Namely this argument states that same-sex couples are unfit to adopt children, as a child needs both a female mother and male father to develop into a productive member of society.</p>
<p>Wow. Just…wow.  What the hell do you say to something so detached from reality as this?  Do you point to the fact that two of the last 3 presidents were raised by single mothers, or do you demand to know why they are not rallying against adoption by single parents?  Hell, you could just point to the number of children already raised successfully by same-sex couples, or my favorite, point to the state of the foster care system and demand to know how inclusion in a stable home of ANY kind could be more traumatic to the development of a young individual.</p>
<p>I must admit that the parentage argument stands alone as the most valid of the arguments presented because it does not rely on blatantly unconstitutional religious favoritism, which makes it the only argument that actually has any right to be used in this debate; however, it is both easily refuted, and completely irrelevant.  What does adoption even have to do with government recognition of marriage?  Not all gay couples will want to raise children, and thus, if the children are your only concern, why not argue against gay adoption, as opposed to gay marriage?</p>
<p>Now, what you will inevitably hear is “I don’t hate gay people I just blah blah de-fucking-blah.”  They say this because they don’t seem to understand that hating gay people does not always involve beating the shit out of them and declaring that “you hate queers” at every opportunity.  Do you think everyone who was opposed to interracial marriage was so open about their racism?  Of course not.  The only thing one achieves by opposing gay rights while claiming not to be homophobic is a degree of decorum.<br />
The fact of the matter is that there is only one argument being made here: <b>We don’t like gay people</b>.  That is it.  These people are forced by the court of public opinion to mask it behind these comically flawed arguments, but the indisputable truth of the mater is that they are uncomfortable with the idea that their doctors, teachers, lawyers, and friends could be engaged in something they do not directly relate to or understand.</p>
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<title><![CDATA[Equality]]></title>
<link>http://hunterslyonesse.wordpress.com/2013/03/27/equality/</link>
<pubDate>Wed, 27 Mar 2013 22:17:37 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>hunterslyonesse</dc:creator>
<guid>http://hunterslyonesse.wordpress.com/2013/03/27/equality/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[I believe in equality for all no matter what color you are, who you pray to, who your lifetime partn]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://hunterslyonesse.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/self-portrait-kitchen-009.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-1484" alt="Self-portrait &#38; Kitchen 009" src="http://hunterslyonesse.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/self-portrait-kitchen-009.jpg?w=300&#038;h=200" width="300" height="200" /></a>I believe in equality for all no matter what color you are, who you pray to, who your lifetime partner is, or what planet you are from.</p>
<p>The current appeal in front of the Supreme Court of the United States has many of my friends excited for the possibility that maybe, <em>finally</em>, marriage for same-sex couples will move forward as it rightly should.</p>
<p>It disappoints me as a Christian to hear other Christians say being gay is a sin. It disappoints me as a human being when I hear others say it is a choice. Christians so easily forget Jesus telling us to love our neighbors as ourselves while they are busy quoting Leviticus. Who are we to judge each other in what is right or wrong? So what if your friends love people of the same-sex? So what if your son/daughter brings home someone of the same-sex whom they love madly. So what? Do you love them any less? Do you throw years of history with your friend because you don&#8217;t like their &#8220;choice?&#8221; Do you deny them the same legal rights that you have with your own spouse?</p>
<p>I think Jesus would be appalled if he returned right now and saw all the protests, fights to stop equality, and the hate being spewed all in his name. We were <em>all</em> perfectly and wonderfully made by our creator (no matter who you believe your creator to be). Yet these ideas that gays and lesbians are less than the rest of us does not sit right with me because I think of all my gay and lesbian friends as perfect and wonderful as my other friends. They didn&#8217;t choose their life, they just <em>are</em>. That&#8217;s how God made them, in his image. Tell me where in the Bible it says God is heterosexual because I&#8217;m pretty sure Jesus didn&#8217;t have a heavenly mother, just an Earthly one. Show me which of the ten commandments says, &#8220;Thou shalt not marry another of the same-sex.&#8221; Tell me <em>how</em> loving your neighbor as yourself means denying them the <em>same</em> rights you have and take for granted.</p>
<p>Maybe I was just fortunate to have grown up in churches that did not spew judgments about same-sex couples. Maybe that&#8217;s why I have this differing view from so many Christians. Or maybe I keep &#8220;God is love&#8221; in my head. Jesus was once scorned for spending time with a tax collector, just one step above the social ladder than the harlots at the bottom. Jesus didn&#8217;t care what they did or said. His mission was to <em>be</em> with the people and spread his message.</p>
<p>What if the world was reversed? What if same-sex marriage was just marriage? They were the only couples allowed to have legal unions. What if heterosexuals worked for <em>decades</em> to attain the same legal rights to marry and were still denied? Yes, decades. This isn&#8217;t a recent phenomenon. I remember having these discussions in my college Sociology classes.</p>
<p>Don&#8217;t like that scenario?</p>
<p>Where would we be without the Women&#8217;s Suffrage movement? Still under the thumbs of men being treated as property and no rights to vote.</p>
<p>Where we would be if Rosa Parks hadn&#8217;t refused to give up her seat on the bus for a white person? Still using separate bathrooms, separate drinking fountains, dining areas, and schools.</p>
<p>Where would we be if interracial marriage were still illegal? In giant groups with others of the same color still segregated.</p>
<p>Where would we be without <a href="http://www.pbs.org/makers/home/">Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem</a> and hundreds of other women fighting for equal rights? The dark ages with the Cleavers.</p>
<p>If we lived in a world where the Suffrage and Civil Rights movements never happened most of you would be miserable and stuck in unhappy marriages with more kids than you can count. I probably wouldn&#8217;t even be writing this without Chaz&#8217;s permission.  Hell, my own marriage wouldn&#8217;t be legal along with my parent&#8217;s marriage. Which means I wouldn&#8217;t even exist.  Or, I would&#8217;ve married my ex and would be up shit creek without a paddle or canoe right now.</p>
<p>I feel fortunate to live in a time where so many people have paved this path we get to choose. I can juggle work and family or I can stay home. I get to vote every election or not. I was able to marry who I chose.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s time everyone else had that choice, too. If you don&#8217;t agree, that&#8217;s your choice, but don&#8217;t hide behind religion or skillfully crafted phrases and quotes that sound supportive and Christian-like but read &#8220;hate&#8221; between the lines.</p>
<p>I want my friends to be able to <em>marry</em> whom they choose. They have every right to be as happy as I am and you are as human beings.</p>
<p>To show support, my friend, Brittany, put together a <a href="http://realsustenance.com/gluten-free-raspberry-equality-pie/">Gluten-Free Raspberry Equality Pie</a>. Make an equality pie and spread the love.</p>
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<title><![CDATA[Guess Who's Coming to Dinner ]]></title>
<link>http://thesouloftheplot.wordpress.com/2013/03/27/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/</link>
<pubDate>Wed, 27 Mar 2013 20:12:38 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Hunter</dc:creator>
<guid>http://thesouloftheplot.wordpress.com/2013/03/27/guess-whos-coming-to-dinner/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[Man, this movie is really sixties. From the second it starts up you see a plane coming in, in all of]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align:left;"><a href="http://thesouloftheplot.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/poster_guesswhoscomingtodinner.jpg"><img class="aligncenter  wp-image-2998" alt="poster_guesswhoscomingtodinner" src="http://thesouloftheplot.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/poster_guesswhoscomingtodinner.jpg?w=260&#038;h=331" width="260" height="331" /></a>Man, this movie is really sixties. From the second it starts up you see a plane coming in, in all of its technicolor glory, and this schmaltzy sixties song comes on, and I&#8217;m like &#8220;oooh boy&#8221;. The movie manages to escape the problems of being stuck in the time period by having some really great actors turning in some really great performances, and the strength of the characters and the issues they are facing. But when that poster says &#8220;a love story of today&#8221; they are of course talking about 1967 and the film never lets you forget it. It&#8217;s not necessarily bad that it feels so sixties, you just definitely have to keep the time period in mind when you are watching it, not like you have any choice.</p>
<p style="text-align:left;">Joey Drayton (Katharine Houghton) is a young woman who is way too perky and cheerful for her own good. She met Dr. John Prentice (Sidney Poitier) in Hawaii, fell in love with him in a mere twenty minutes, and is now bringing him back to meet her parents. From the opening shots of them getting off the plane you can tell they&#8217;re in love, even though it&#8217;s a little corny, it&#8217;s still pretty cute. John&#8217;s worried though, because although Joey doesn&#8217;t think her parents will have a problem with the fact that he&#8217;s black John&#8217;s not so confident. They&#8217;ve only known each other for ten days, and Joey&#8217;s just going to go home and spring this guy on her parents. I don&#8217;t care who you&#8217;re marrying, you have to give the folks back home a little more warning than that.</p>
<p style="text-align:left;">That was one of my problems with this movie; Joey keeps doing things very spontaneously and doesn&#8217;t even stop to think whether ot not it might be a problem for other people. I understand that she&#8217;s in love with this guy and really excited to get married and all, but still. You can&#8217;t keep springing things on people like that. She doesn&#8217;t just do it to her parents. She does it to John as well. She also wants to get married really fast, like in a couple of weeks. John has to leave for some doctor thing in New York that very same night, so when they ask for her parent&#8217;s approval, it has to be quick. The whole thing is riddiculous in a way, because really they could just get married later. If I was John I would have been like, &#8220;okay, hold up. I love you and all but we don&#8217;t have to get married this second and I won&#8217;t even marry you at all if you don&#8217;t calm the heck down.&#8221; She puts him into a lot of awkward situations and then he doesn&#8217;t have the guts or heart or whatever to tell her that it bothers him; he just goes behind her back instead (more on that later). The film focuses on the problems they and their future children are going to have because of their racial differences, but nobody acknowledges the problems these two are going to have because they just don&#8217;t know each other well enough yet.</p>
<p style="text-align:left;"><a href="http://thesouloftheplot.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/arenttheysocute_guesswhoscomingtodinner.jpeg"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-2999" alt="arenttheysocute_guesswhoscomingtodinner" src="http://thesouloftheplot.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/arenttheysocute_guesswhoscomingtodinner.jpeg?w=529&#038;h=299" width="529" height="299" /></a>They meet the Drayton&#8217;s maid, Tillie (Isabel Sanford) first. You guessed it, she&#8217;s african american. She&#8217;s not too impressed with John, thinking that he&#8217;s just marrying Joey to advance himself or something. Next they meet Christina (Katharine Hepburn), Joey&#8217;s mother. She is shocked at first, but gets caught up in all the romance of it and just wants her daughter to be happy. Then Matt (Spencer Tracy) comes home, and he doesn&#8217;t know what&#8217;s going on either. He is much more cautious about the whole thing when he finds out. Once he&#8217;s ascertained that John is indeed a good person, he is still worried about the problems caused by their racial differences. Then John tells Christina and Matt that though Joey says they are going to get married no matter what her parents say, John doens&#8217;t want to marry Joey unless her parents wholeheartedly approve. He doesn&#8217;t want to cause any problems between Joey and her parents. That&#8217;s nice and all, but I really didn&#8217;t like how he went behind Joey&#8217;s back. He doesn&#8217;t even tell her that he&#8217;s doing this, when she clearly doesn&#8217;t want him to. Instead he puts all the pressure on Matt to decide their fate, when he really should have talked it out with Joey more.</p>
<p style="text-align:left;">If you&#8217;re driving down the road and one of your tail lights are out, you obey the speed limit so as not to draw attention to yourself. I felt that this movie was kind of like that. It was willing to make a big issue of race but it was afraid of (or simply not concerned with) attacking anything else. I mean, from a modern standpoint we can only expect so much of 1967, and I&#8217;m sure this movie was taking enough risks already having the interracial couple wanting to get married and all. Maybe just because I&#8217;m female and not black, I was pretty annoyed how they handled all the female characters. I might be coming across as kind of harsh, but it seemed like all the female characters were in lovey-dovey la la land while the male characters had a good head on their shoulders and were the only ones that appreciated the challenges Joey and John were up against. To be fair, there was a Catholic Priest (Cecil Kelloway) who was all for them getting married, but in terms of the parents it was split male/female. The two mothers were all like &#8220;remember what it&#8217;s like to be in love&#8230;.!&#8221; and the fathers were all like &#8220;this is never going to work in the world with in and everybody would realize that if they thought about it for two seconds.&#8221; The film ultimately presents the female viewpoint as correct, but it&#8217;s not really accepted as practical (or at least practical enough) until the men, specifically Tracy&#8217;s character as the adult white male, deem it as such. So while this film probably was pushing some boundaries back in &#8217;67, don&#8217;t expect it to be the most politically correct thing ever in terms of today. I don&#8217;t know if the film&#8217;s out to change the entire world or anything, maybe it&#8217;s just trying to show that interracial marriage can work in some situations. As Tillie says, &#8220;civil rights is one thing, but this here is something else.&#8221;</p>
<p style="text-align:left;">The set up for this film is kind of contrived, not the interracial marriage part but the constraint that Matt has to decide his daughter&#8217;s future without her knowledge all over the course of one day is pretty preposterous. What would really happen is that if the two of them really wanted to get married, they would get married right away. Otherwise the parents would convince them to wait a little while, everybody would get to know each other and be used to the idea, and then they would get married just like anybody else. As ridiculous as it may seem, the story really needs the deadline otherwise there would be nothing really driving the story. The fact that Matt doesn&#8217;t immediately go for it is the point; he&#8217;s been raising his daughter to be this liberal and espousing these ideas in his newspaper his whole life, but it&#8217;s a bit harder in real life. It&#8217;s easier said then done so to speak, living up to one&#8217;s ideals and everything. If he had all the time in the world to decide there would be no drama. So while I understand why they did this; it still seems a bit contrived. However, this problem doesn&#8217;t amount to much because the drama is so powerful.</p>
<p style="text-align:left;"><a href="http://thesouloftheplot.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/katherinehepburnandspencertracy_guesswhoscomingtodinner.jpg"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-3023" alt="katherinehepburnandspencertracy_guesswhoscomingtodinner" src="http://thesouloftheplot.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/katherinehepburnandspencertracy_guesswhoscomingtodinner.jpg?w=529&#038;h=288" width="529" height="288" /></a></p>
<p style="text-align:left;">Whenever someone new comes into the picture, you&#8217;re basically wondering how the other characters are going to react to their race and also whatever their feelings on the marriage are. First it&#8217;s Christina, then it&#8217;s Matt, and finally it&#8217;s John&#8217;s parents (Roy Glenn and Beah Richards). It all reaches the climax at the end, where everyone comes together in one place and Matt has to make his decision. Putting all of these aspects in such a sort time makes for a pretty high pressure situation. Earlier on, there&#8217;s a surprise visit from someone at Christina&#8217;s work. She shows up basically to see who this black guy is and what he relationship is to them. Christina is still getting used to this herself, but her employee&#8217;s reaction helps her put things in perspective. That scene is just so great; I&#8217;m not going to tell you what happens but just know that it&#8217;s one of the greatest scenes in the movie. It really shows you how the characters interact throughout the whole thing. The film really is based on the uncertainty of how other people are going to react, and Kramer does all he can to enhance this by springing things on the characters and keeping them off their balance.</p>
<p style="text-align:left;">The casting for this film is brilliant. Hepburn and Tracy were never married, but they made nine films together and had an affair for about twenty-five years. Hepburn was raised by liberal parents who were probably somewhat similar to Matt and Christina. Katharine Houghton is actually Hepburn&#8217;s neice; she really looks like she could be her daughter though. I&#8217;m guessing there was no actor better equipped to play a stand-up african american guy than Sidney Poitier back &#8217;67. Not that other people couldn&#8217;t have done, but Poitier was established enough for people back then to actually believe him playing his character. It&#8217;s kind of disappointing that they didn&#8217;t get bigger name actors for John&#8217;s parents, but the sad fact is there probably weren&#8217;t any. Nevertheless, the two of them do a fine job and hold their own against these famous white guys.</p>
<p style="text-align:left;"><em>Guess Who&#8217;s Coming to Dinner</em> kind of has a ridiculous premise, but nevertheless makes for some great dramatic situations. The key is to focus on the characters and not the political correctness of it all; you might be disappointed. It was made in &#8217;67 and the film doesn&#8217;t make any effort to try to escape that fact. It&#8217;s trying to be about the time it&#8217;s in, which is perfectly fine. As far as I know (not having lived through it), it does this pretty effectively. Though they are probably pushing the racial issues as they intended, they play most other things on the safe side. The performances are all great, and there are some inspiring and humorous moments along the way. It&#8217;s a good film, despite having some flaws.</p>
<p style="text-align:left;"><a href="http://thesouloftheplot.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/end_guesswhoscomingtodinner.jpg"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-3024" alt="end_guesswhoscomingtodinner" src="http://thesouloftheplot.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/end_guesswhoscomingtodinner.jpg?w=400&#038;h=225" width="400" height="225" /></a>&#8220;I don&#8217;t think I&#8217;m going to faint, but I&#8217;ll sit down anyway.&#8221;</p>
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<title><![CDATA[Pocahaunted.]]></title>
<link>http://allquietonthewenchfront.com/2013/03/27/pocahaunted/</link>
<pubDate>Wed, 27 Mar 2013 19:38:48 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>beckyshepherd</dc:creator>
<guid>http://allquietonthewenchfront.com/2013/03/27/pocahaunted/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[In 1995, Pocahontas was the Disney film that every Joan, Nic and Sally were having a moral panic ove]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[In 1995, Pocahontas was the Disney film that every Joan, Nic and Sally were having a moral panic ove]]></content:encoded>
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<title><![CDATA[Marriage Is Not Just a Religious Rite—It's Contract Law]]></title>
<link>http://humboldtdems.wordpress.com/2013/03/27/marriage-is-not-just-a-religious-rite-its-contract-law/</link>
<pubDate>Wed, 27 Mar 2013 18:33:59 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>NVRDC</dc:creator>
<guid>http://humboldtdems.wordpress.com/2013/03/27/marriage-is-not-just-a-religious-rite-its-contract-law/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[While reading my wall in Facebook this morning, I came across this salient point &#8230;  — Sarah Wo]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span style="text-decoration:underline;"></span><em>While reading my wall in Facebook this morning, I came across this salient point &#8230; </em></p>
<p><em>— Sarah Wood/Opinionated Democrat</em></p>
<p><em>&#8220;Marriage is a contract. It&#8217;s contract law. There are rights which are being granted to some and not others based on bigotry alone. That&#8217;s it. All other arguments are invalid. First it was interracial marriage (which I can guarantee you if it were still left to the states, several wouldn&#8217;t allow it), and now same-sex marriage. It&#8217;s about equality &#8212; marriage equality. Religion has absolutely nothing to do with a contract granted by the state with benefits given to some but prohibits others from obtaining them. Procreation? Seriously? From the same group of people who tell us rape babies are God&#8217;s gift? Give me a break. It&#8217;s bigoted and illegal. Tax paying citizens are being punished for being who they are, and are not being represented equally.&#8221;</em></p>
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<title><![CDATA[Marriage Is Not Just a Religious Rite—It's Contract Law]]></title>
<link>http://nvrdc.wordpress.com/2013/03/27/marriage-is-not-just-a-religious-right-its-contract-law/</link>
<pubDate>Wed, 27 Mar 2013 18:32:53 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>NVRDC</dc:creator>
<guid>http://nvrdc.wordpress.com/2013/03/27/marriage-is-not-just-a-religious-right-its-contract-law/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[While reading my wall in Facebook this morning, I came across this salient point &#8230;  — Sarah Wo]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[While reading my wall in Facebook this morning, I came across this salient point &#8230;  — Sarah Wo]]></content:encoded>
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<title><![CDATA[Great American conservative predictions]]></title>
<link>http://soonerblue2.wordpress.com/2013/03/27/great-american-conservative-predictions/</link>
<pubDate>Wed, 27 Mar 2013 11:56:25 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>soonerblue2</dc:creator>
<guid>http://soonerblue2.wordpress.com/2013/03/27/great-american-conservative-predictions/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[Other great American conservative predictions: You can&#8217;t free slaves or America will collase;]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[Other great American conservative predictions: You can&#8217;t free slaves or America will collase;]]></content:encoded>
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<title><![CDATA[You, Me, and the Portman Effect: Like It Or Not, It's Bringing Gay Rights ]]></title>
<link>http://alainamabaso.com/2013/03/26/you-me-and-the-portman-effect-like-it-or-not-its-bringing-gay-rights/</link>
<pubDate>Wed, 27 Mar 2013 04:49:42 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Alaina Mabaso</dc:creator>
<guid>http://alainamabaso.com/2013/03/26/you-me-and-the-portman-effect-like-it-or-not-its-bringing-gay-rights/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[A save-the-date card for an event my friend calls her &#8220;big ole dyke marriage.&#8221; &#8220;Ya]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="attachment_1987" class="wp-caption aligncenter" style="width: 460px"><img class="size-full wp-image-1987" alt="A save-the-date card for an event my friend calls her &#34;big ole dyke marriage.&#34; &#34;Yay! I declare victory!&#34; she says. " src="http://alainamabaso.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/chrystal-and-susan-e1364358217908.jpg?w=450&#038;h=337" width="450" height="337" /><p class="wp-caption-text">A save-the-date card for an event my friend calls her &#8220;big ole dyke marriage.&#8221; &#8220;Yay! I declare victory!&#8221; she says. (Design credit Crystal Davis.)</p></div>
<p>This week I published <a href="http://www.broadstreetreview.com/index.php/main/article/on_marrying_your_best_friend_a_response/">an essay about friendship and marriage</a> that included a few examples from my own life. My editor said he loved the insights in the piece, but he warned me to watch out.</p>
<p>Pointing to advice maven Ann Landers’s divorce, he said I should consider the future – I might be writing a personal essay now about my perspectives on a healthy marriage, but who knows? In ten years, I might be in the middle of a divorce, and then, a reader might dig up this article to mock me.</p>
<p>Could I handle that?</p>
<p>I told him that I preferred to live in the present, and if I end up getting divorced, I will deal with it when it happens, instead of letting that unpleasant hypothetical notion hinder what I publish now. I also said that while I strive to write in good taste and not bare anything that’s too personal, I feel that if readers give their attention to my essays, I should be willing to give them my honest self in relatable terms.</p>
<p>My editor listened and nodded and said that was wise. Then he chuckled and shook his head.</p>
<p>“It’d be funny, though, if it happened,” he said of my supposed future divorce.</p>
<p>I share all this with you now because, as the US Supreme Court hears landmark cases this week about marriage equality, I think my gay pals have been resting easy for far too long – it’s high time their unions were as legal as mine, so they can shoulder their share of rude comments like this.</p>
<p>Gay pals have been getting a lot of press recently, as this nugget from the Stephen Colbert show sums up pretty well:</p>
<p><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-1988" alt="Colbert and NPH" src="http://alainamabaso.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/colbert-and-nph.jpg?w=450&#038;h=300" width="450" height="300" /></p>
<p>People are calling it the Portman Effect, after Republican Senator Rob Portman announced his support for gay marriage (following a long history of anti-gay legislative votes) because, as it turns out, his son is gay. After years of seeing gays as sub-par, faraway citizens who don’t deserve the right to marry their partners or adopt children, Portman looked at his own child and then wrote “<a href="http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/editorials/2013/03/15/gay-couples-also-deserve-chance-to-get-married.html">All our sons and daughters ought to have the same opportunity to experience the joys and stability of marriage.</a>”</p>
<p>Some people lauded Portman for his courageous stance, given the current state of America’s Republican Party, and others scoffed that politicians should support equality because it’s the right thing to do, not because the issue suddenly becomes personal to you.</p>
<p>Many speculate that the Portman Effect will be at work in the Supreme Court chamber itself, because apparently a gay cousin of conservative Chief Justice John Roberts will attend the oral arguments.</p>
<p>In general, I sympathize with those who find the Portman Effect a lousy reason to support equality – one based on personal experience rather than a larger, more rational acceptance on principle. It reminds me of <a href="http://bellejarblog.wordpress.com/2013/03/18/i-am-not-your-wife-sister-or-daughter/">this fabulous article</a> by Anne Theriault, who argues that a common piece of rape-combating rhetoric is “reductive as hell.”</p>
<p>Pundits and politicians often beg would-be harassers or attackers of women to imagine how they’d feel if their own mother, sister or daughter was battered this way.</p>
<p>Theriault lobs back that this “defines women by their relationships to other people, rather than <em>as people themselves</em>. It says that women are only important when they are married to, have given birth to, or have been fathered by other people.”</p>
<p>Rape isn’t wrong because women are wives, sisters and daughters. Women are people and rape is just wrong.</p>
<p>Maybe a man who would refrain from attacking women because he doesn’t like to think of his own family members being attacked is sort of like a politician who doesn’t support equality until he realizes that anti-gay laws affect a member of his own family.</p>
<p>But the plain truth is that humans are primarily emotional creatures. We can call for high-minded, objective, rational ideals, but things must touch us personally before we can process them.</p>
<p>Count me in on the Portman Effect club – I grew up in an insular Christian atmosphere that didn’t exactly heap bile on gays, but did make it clear that theirs was a sad and disordered lifestyle. Gay schoolmates were well and truly closeted and I didn’t know any better than to oppose gay marriage, declaring I had nothing against gays themselves (should I ever meet any), but I didn’t think they had a legal right to marry.</p>
<p>That lasted about as long as it took me to make some friends who were gay, as soon as I hit college and moved outside the sphere of my family’s church.</p>
<p>The personal is the last bastion between acceptance and prejudice. A family member who opposes gay rights once asked me, in a tone that was meant to end the argument, once and for all,</p>
<p>“Well, how would you feel if someone gay was your children’s teacher?”</p>
<p>The answer I think she expected was that of course, in that case, I would be opposed. However, by that time I had already had a gay teacher and turned out just fine. I bet my future kids would, too.</p>
<p>I admit my own investment in equality probably has as much to do with my own personal universe as it does my civic principles. My own marriage would’ve been illegal just a few decades ago – back when people were arguing that Jesus wouldn’t want the races to mix. I imagine what it would feel like if people were protesting my relationship with signs like “God hates interracial couples” and “Marriage = two people of the same race.”</p>
<p><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-1990" alt="Imagine how stupid you are going to look" src="http://alainamabaso.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/imagine-how-stupid-you-are-going-to-look1.jpg?w=374&#038;h=731" width="374" height="731" /></p>
<p>I think the Portman affect applies to racial attitudes as well. I remember sitting around a holiday table with someone who referred to African-American people collectively as “the blacks.”</p>
<p>But in subsequent years, my African husband joined the table, and I was interested to note this dinner guest change her tune ever so slightly the next time she shared an anecdote about an African-American person.</p>
<p>“He was a black…person,” the speaker faltered, eyes dodging ever so slightly – or did I imagine it? – at my husband.</p>
<p>In an ideal world, we’d all sit up and cast out our prejudices on principle, before they looked us in the eye and made us sweat.</p>
<p>Until then, we legally married heterosexual people are just going to have to bear the brunt of other people’s odd comments about our marriages – but I sure hope gay people can get their share soon.</p>
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<title><![CDATA[Lessons in Love]]></title>
<link>http://myvonnetaylor.wordpress.com/2013/03/26/lessons-in-love/</link>
<pubDate>Tue, 26 Mar 2013 22:25:23 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Yvonne Taylor</dc:creator>
<guid>http://myvonnetaylor.wordpress.com/2013/03/26/lessons-in-love/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[Lesson I: Beauty The first wedding I attended was one in which I was a flower girl. I was five or si]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>Lesson I: Beauty</strong></p>
<p>The first wedding I attended was one in which I was a flower girl.</p>
<p>I was five or six years old, dressed in white lace, hair freshly pressed in an updo with little tendrils framing my face. A crown of silk flowers interlaced strands of my hair.</p>
<p>I was really cute.</p>
<p>I was nervous too. So nervous that I distinctly remember only casting flowers out of my basket to my left side. I was afraid that if I alternated hands, as I was instructed to, I&#8217;d drop the basket, trip, fall, and ruin the entire ceremony.</p>
<p>I watched as the bride, a beautiful blonde, kissed her groom, who was tall, dark, handsome and black. I had no idea that I had just witnessed two people marry who less than 10 years prior would have been thrown in jail for doing so.</p>
<p><strong>Lesson II: Fear</strong></p>
<p>But I&#8217;d learn how powerful the concept of loving someone outside the norm could be soon enough. A few months later, in the same town, Fayetteville, North Carolina, I&#8217;d see another scene that would shape me. I saw the charcoal frame and ash of a burnt cross in a neighbor&#8217;s yard. The neighbor was a black U.S. Army serviceman married to a white woman he&#8217;d met on tour of duty in Germany.</p>
<p>Today, I can still vividly recall the fear the cross instilled in all of us as well as I can remember the stench.</p>
<p>It was 1976.</p>
<p>These two events, within months of each other, shaped me profoundly.</p>
<p><strong>Lesson III: Shame</strong></p>
<p>Add to that my own heritage: My parents are both black. But my mother is fair and appears to be white by those who are not as adept at discerning ethnic features as those of us from most parts of Louisiana. (<em>Explaining the whole One Drop Rule is another post entirely.</em>) When we&#8217;d drive through small towns (especially in Mississippi), police officers would frequently pull us over and check my parents&#8217; identification to make sure that my father wasn&#8217;t driving around with a white woman.</p>
<p>I became so paranoid that people would think my mother was white that I&#8217;d avoid my friends when we came close to running in to them in public places.</p>
<p>The message I received over time was that loving someone who was different was a bad, bad thing.</p>
<p><strong>Lesson IV: Rebellion</strong></p>
<p>But I&#8217;d always admired the courage of those who refused to follow norms, especially when it came to love. And I&#8217;ve always had a bit of a rebellious streak. And perhaps that&#8217;s part of the reason I&#8217;ve married outside of my own ethnicity, more than once, and given birth to a beautiful child, who represents what I believe is the future, both literally and symbolically.</p>
<p><strong>Lesson V: Viva La Revolucion!<a href="http://myvonnetaylor.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/marriage.png"><img class="size-full wp-image alignright" id="i-662" title="Human Rights Marriage" alt="Image" src="http://myvonnetaylor.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/marriage.png?w=170&#038;h=170" width="170" height="170" /></a></strong></p>
<p>And it&#8217;s also the reason I&#8217;ve always supported others who just want to love whomever they choose. It&#8217;s why when I see my GLBTQ sisters and brothers (citizens, y&#8217;all, with the unalienable right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness!) striving to have their own unions recognized and protected, I stand with them in support and solidarity.</p>
<p>And I admire their courage: the courage to love.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s a powerful thing. And it will triumph.</p>
<p>(<em>Dedicated to <a title="Farewell to a Patriarch" href="http://myvonnetaylor.wordpress.com/2011/11/07/farewell-to-a-patriarch/" target="_blank">my favorite cousin</a></em>.)</p>
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<title><![CDATA[Justices indicate interest in narrow ruling on gay marriage in landmark hearing]]></title>
<link>http://conservativewatchnews.com/2013/03/26/justices-indicate-interest-in-narrow-ruling-on-gay-marriage-in-landmark-hearing/</link>
<pubDate>Tue, 26 Mar 2013 21:31:36 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Various Writers</dc:creator>
<guid>http://conservativewatchnews.com/2013/03/26/justices-indicate-interest-in-narrow-ruling-on-gay-marriage-in-landmark-hearing/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[[FoxNews.com] Published March 26, 2013 Several Supreme Court justices indicated they might lean towa]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h2 id="article-title">[FoxNews.com]</h2>
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<p>Published March 26, 2013</p>
<p><a href="http://conservativewatchnews.com/2013/03/26/justices-indicate-interest-in-narrow-ruling-on-gay-marriage-in-landmark-hearing/supreme_court_gay-protesters-thumb/" rel="attachment wp-att-15243"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-15243" style="margin:15px;" alt="supreme_court_gay-protesters-THUMB" src="http://commonsense2004.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/supreme_court_gay-protesters-thumb.jpg?w=300&#038;h=168" width="300" height="168" /></a></p>
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<article>Several Supreme Court justices indicated they might lean toward issuing a narrow ruling on gay marriage during a landmark hearing Tuesday on California&#8217;s same-sex marriage ban, even as lawyers for the plaintiffs argued for legalizing the unions nationally.The case heard Tuesday, the first of two gay-marriage cases the high court is weighing this week, centered on California&#8217;s Proposition 8 ban on same-sex marriage but could have national implications. If the justices choose to rule broadly, they could overturn Prop 8 and in doing so invalidate every other restriction on gay marriage in the country.But the justices suggested Tuesday they could decide the case without issuing a ruling that ripples through all 50 states.Several justices, including some liberals who seemed open to gay marriage, raised doubts Tuesday that the case was properly before them. Justice Anthony Kennedy, the potentially decisive vote on a closely divided court, suggested that the court could dismiss the case with no ruling at all.<br />
Such an outcome would almost certainly allow gay marriages to resume in California but would have no impact elsewhere.<a href="http://www.supremecourt.gov/oral_arguments/argument_audio_detail.aspx?argument=12-144" target="_blank" rel="external ext-linked">Click to listen to the Supreme Court arguments in the Prop 8 case</a><img alt="" src="http://global.fncstatic.com/static/v/all/img/external-link.png" />.</p>
<p>Kennedy said he feared the court would go into &#8220;uncharted waters&#8221; if it embraced arguments advanced by gay marriage supporters. But lawyer Theodore Olson, representing two same-sex couples, said that the court similarly ventured into the unknown in 1967 when it struck down bans on interracial marriage in 16 states.</p>
<p>Kennedy challenged the accuracy of that comment by noting that other countries had had interracial marriages for hundreds of years.</p>
<p>There was no majority apparent for any particular outcome and many doubts expressed about the arguments advanced by lawyers for the opponents of gay marriage in California, by the supporters and by the Obama administration, which is in favor of same-sex marriage rights.</p>
<p>Chief Justice John Roberts told Olson that it seemed supporters of gay marriage were trying to change the meaning of the word &#8220;marriage&#8221; by including same-sex couples.</p>
<p>Lawyers representing supporters of the California ban known as Proposition 8 argued that the court should not override the democratic process and impose a judicial solution that would redefine marriage in the some 40 states that do not allow same-sex couples to wed.</p>
<p>The case attracted high interest. Spectators were waiting in line since Thursday for the chance at being in the room while the two sides try to sway the court.</p>
<p>By ruling broadly, the court could overturn every state constitutional provision and law banning same-sex marriages. Or, they could set back the gay marriage movement by upholding California&#8217;s ban and continuing to leave the issue up to the states. By choosing the middle route, though, the justices could dismiss the case &#8212; a move likely to let gay marriages resume in California, with no impact anywhere else.</p>
<p>The case before the high court came together four years ago when the two couples agreed to be the named plaintiffs and become the public faces of a well-funded, high-profile effort to challenge Proposition 8 in the courts.</p>
<p>The fight began in 2004 when San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom ordered city officials to issue marriage licenses. Six months later, the state Supreme Court invalidated the same-sex unions. Less than four years later, however, the same state court overturned California&#8217;s prohibition on same-sex unions.</p>
<p>Then, in the same election that put President Obama in the White House in 2008, California voters approved Proposition 8, undoing the court ruling and defining marriage as the union of a man and a woman.</p>
<p>The ballot measure halted same-sex unions in California. Roughly 18,000 couples were wed in the nearly five months that same-sex marriage was legal and those marriages remain valid in California.</p>
<p>The high-profile case has brought together two one-time Supreme Court opponents. Republican Theodore Olson and Democrat David Boies are leading the legal team representing the same-sex couples.</p>
<p>They argued against each other in the Bush v. Gore case that settled the disputed 2000 presidential election in favor of George W. Bush. Opposing them is Charles Cooper, Olson&#8217;s onetime colleague at the Justice Department in the Reagan administration.</p>
<p>On Wednesday the court will consider a provision that defines marriage as between a man and a woman for the purpose of deciding who can receive a range of federal benefits, as part of the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act.</p>
<p>The arguments come at a time of changing views on the issue. Support for gay marriage is becoming a mainstream Democratic position and the issue is causing a sharp divide among Republicans.</p>
<p>The issue has created fault lines within the Republican Party, as some prominent members drop their opposition to same-sex marriage while others stiffen it.</p>
<p>Gary Bauer, president of American Values, told &#8220;Fox News Sunday&#8221; that proponents of gay marriage are effectively asking &#8220;for unelected judges to deny the people of the states the right to decide what marriage is in their state.&#8221;</p>
<p>Bauer said he would prefer that every state bar gay marriage. But, acknowledging that&#8217;s not likely, he said the court should let the states decide.</p>
<p>However Nicolle Wallace, a former adviser to former President George W. Bush and to the 2008 McCain campaign, said those arguing against Prop 8 are in fact using a &#8220;conservative legal argument.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;They will basically lay out the conservative case that there is not any place in the Constitution that allows for a different set of rules for a different class of people,&#8221; she told &#8220;Fox News Sunday.&#8221; &#8220;There&#8217;s also a moral imperative here. If you believe, if you value and treasure and revere the institution of marriage, then you should want every family unit to be really wrapped in marriage.&#8221;</p>
<p>Top Democrats who previously opposed same-sex marriage &#8212; and had taken the more moderate position of supporting civil unions &#8212; have in recent months and years shifted course. President Obama announced his support for gay marriage in the months leading up to the presidential election. Hillary Clinton also recently followed suit.</p>
<p>But Republicans have also been crossing to the pro-gay marriage side. Wallace is among dozens of Republicans who filed a brief in the Supreme Court case arguing for Prop 8 to be overturned.  And Sen. Rob Portman, R-Ohio, publicly reversed his position on the issue after his son came out as gay.</p>
<p>The position shifts, though, do not signal a party-wide change of heart. Many Republicans would still prefer the issue be left up to the states and are encouraging the high court justices to rule narrowly.</p>
<p>&#8220;They would be far better off to decide these two cases on the narrowest possible grounds,&#8221; former House Speaker Newt Gingrich said Sunday. A sweeping decision against gay marriage, he said, would be a &#8220;huge mistake&#8221; that would &#8220;undermine respect for the judiciary.&#8221;</p>
<p>Americans as a whole are likewise divided. A Fox News poll released Thursday showed 49 percent of voters favor legalizing gay marriage, while 46 percent oppose it.</p>
<p>That marks a shift since the question was first asked in 2003 &#8212; when 32 percent said gay marriage should be legal, and 58 percent opposed it.</p>
<p>Support for gay marriage has grown the most among Democrats, and self-described moderates and independents. Still, support for gay marriage rose by 10 points among Republicans over the past decade, according to the Fox News polling.</p>
<p>Gay marriage has been approved in nine states &#8212; Connecticut, Iowa, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New York, Vermont, Washington &#8212; and the District of Columbia. But 31 states have amended their constitutions to prohibit same-sex marriage. North Carolina was the most recent example last May.</p>
<p><strong><i>The Associated Press contributed to this report.</i></strong></p>
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<div>Read more: <a href="http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2013/03/26/supreme-court-to-hear-arguments-in-gay-marriage-cases-that-could-have/#ixzz2OgR4sTdz">http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2013/03/26/supreme-court-to-hear-arguments-in-gay-marriage-cases-that-could-have/#ixzz2OgR4sTdz</a></div>
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<title><![CDATA[the freedom of our equality.]]></title>
<link>http://jamesaarongilmore.com/2013/03/26/the-freedom-of-our-equality/</link>
<pubDate>Tue, 26 Mar 2013 20:59:12 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>James Aaron Gilmore</dc:creator>
<guid>http://jamesaarongilmore.com/2013/03/26/the-freedom-of-our-equality/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[June 12, 2013 will mark the 46th anniversary of the supreme court ruling that struck down a ban on i]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align:right;">June 12, 2013 will mark the 46th anniversary of the supreme court ruling that struck down a ban on interracial marriage.</p>
<p style="text-align:right;">that means 46 years ago, in some states, i could have been charged with a crime for marrying my wife. actually i wouldn&#8217;t have been able to call her my wife because a marriage would have been illegal. i would not have been able to marry her. to love her completely. to live with her. to start a family with her. to share dreams with her. it would have been forbidden.</p>
<p style="text-align:right;">it was actually a law in many states that a black man could not marry a white woman.</p>
<p style="text-align:right;">people actually believed it was wrong.</p>
<p style="text-align:right;">why is that? because the shade of our skin doesn&#8217;t match? was it a moral issue? fear? religion? what basis was there?</p>
<p style="text-align:right;">why would anyone try to stand in the way of my personal business when it comes to who i love, who i want to be with? why would there have been a law permitting only people of the same skin color to marry, to live with each other? why would my marriage affect anyone else?</p>
<p style="text-align:right;">i cannot fathom living in a time where i could not marry the woman i loved because the law said so. i cannot imagine being told that living with her was unconstitutional.</p>
<p style="text-align:right;">it&#8217;s an outrage isn&#8217;t it? hopefully it&#8217;s an outrage.</p>
<p style="text-align:right;">today, i have gay and lesbian friends who are amazing people. they actually eat just like other human beings. they put their pants on the same way i do. one leg at a time. they have friends and relatives and moms and dads. the point is, they are just like the rest of humanity.</p>
<p style="text-align:right;">i understand that we all have different opinions and views. i actually believe that&#8217;s what makes america beautiful. i am proud to live in a nation where we can be free to worship as we please, or to not worship if we don&#8217;t want to, to believe as we wish and to be whoever it is that we want to be. we have the opportunity to dream, even if we never reach our goals, we have the ability to imagine them. not everyone in this world has these freedoms, and i refuse to take them lightly.</p>
<p style="text-align:right;">but here we are with gay marriage on the agenda. and it&#8217;s back to determining the laws governing people&#8217;s rights. i see gun control owners stampeding to buy more guns to protect themselves. i hear their boisterous cry to never let anyone take away the second amendment, as if that is even on the table. we all want our freedoms as protected by the constitution. i am not a gun owner, and probably never will be. i have vastly different opinions on the use of guns and for their necessity in our society. however, i would never try to change someones mind about gun ownership. some people believe that they are absolutely needed and if that is what you believe, so be it. that&#8217;s the beauty of america.</p>
<p style="text-align:right;">but what is ugly about america is when we try to stampede others. when we attempt to push others down with our beliefs. when we take our individual moral beliefs and use the legal system to back us up. when we say we want less government but cry that we will take our beliefs to the courts. how can this be?  the legal system is in place to protect our freedoms, that was the vision of our forefathers. it is not meant to be set up to take away the rights of our fellow citizens who have not committed a crime.  loving someone of the same-sex is not a crime. we might have differing beliefs as to the morality of it, but that is our individual right. in america we have the freedom to believe whatever it is that we want to believe, but it is not okay to use the government to force others into oppression because of our individual morality. precisely what the separation of church and state was meant to protect was the morality of the people. the right to have our morals and beliefs and ideas and opinions without suffering governmental persecution. the same applies today.</p>
<p style="text-align:right;">we might agree or disagree with the morality of same-sex marriage, but for us to use our beliefs to alter the rights of others is far from morality. the church may have it&#8217;s own opinion and view of what is moral in regards to gay marriage. churches in america have the freedom in this country to decide for themselves what will be permissible for them.  that is the beauty of america.</p>
<p style="text-align:right;">i am not using this blog to state my personal beliefs one way or another about gay marriage, though i have the right to do so. my goal in this post is to state that our protections that we enjoy, are in place because freedom is what we seek,what we have always sought in america. freedom for women voters, freedom for interracial marriage, freedom from tyranny from oppressive rulers in england that forced their religion upon the people. this is america and the freedom for individuals, where all men are created equal, still stands today.</p>
<h6 class="zemanta-related-title" style="font-size:1em;">Related articles</h6>
<ul class="zemanta-article-ul">
<li class="zemanta-article-ul-li"><a href="http://www.pennlive.com/midstate/index.ssf/2013/03/supreme_court_on_same-sex_marr.html" target="_blank">Supreme Court on same-sex marriage: Lawyer compares gay ban to interracial ban</a> (pennlive.com)</li>
<li class="zemanta-article-ul-li"><a href="http://kfwbam.com/2013/03/26/justices-hear-arguments-on-calif-gay-marriage-ban/" target="_blank">Justices hear arguments on Calif. Gay marriage ban</a> (kfwbam.com)</li>
<li class="zemanta-article-ul-li"><a href="http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2013/03/07/1688491/african-american-lawyers-to-scotus-weve-heard-these-anti-marriage-equality-arguments-before/?mobile=nc" target="_blank">African-American Lawyers To SCOTUS: We&#8217;ve Heard These Anti-Marriage Equality Arguments Before</a> (thinkprogress.org)</li>
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<title><![CDATA[Loving and Marriage Equality]]></title>
<link>http://civilrightsadvocacy.net/2013/03/26/loving-marriage-equality/</link>
<pubDate>Tue, 26 Mar 2013 17:16:45 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>civilrightsactivist</dc:creator>
<guid>http://civilrightsadvocacy.net/2013/03/26/loving-marriage-equality/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[&#8220;working to win the freedom to marry in more states, grow the national majority for marriage,]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="attachment_387" class="wp-caption alignleft" style="width: 170px"><a href="http://civilrightsadvocacy.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/freedomtomarry-org-logo.jpg"><img class="size-full wp-image-387" alt="Logo of Freedomt to Marry, Inc." src="http://civilrightsadvocacy.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/freedomtomarry-org-logo.jpg?w=160&#038;h=160" width="160" height="160" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">&#8220;working to win the freedom to marry in more states, grow the national majority for marriage, and end federal marriage discrimination. &#8221; <a href="http://www.freedomtomarry.org/pages/about-us" rel="nofollow">http://www.freedomtomarry.org/pages/about-us</a></p></div>
<p>Today at noon, the US Supreme Court wrapped up a<a title="Oral arguments in Hollingworth v. Perry" href="http://www.supremecourt.gov/oral_arguments/argument_audio_detail.aspx?argument=12-144" target="_blank"> hearing on the right of same-sex couples to marry</a>.  The case is called <a href="http://en.wikipedihttp/en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hollingsworth_v._Perry">Hollingsworth v. Perry</a>. If broadly held in favor of the plaintiffs, it will prohibit states from denying lesbian and gay people the right to marry each other. If narrowly held, it would not affect cases outside California; it would only overturn Proposition 8 and allow gay and lesbian people within California to marry each other.</p>
<p>Tomorrow, the US Supreme Court will hear a case called <a href="http://www.freedomtomarry.org/landscape/entry/c/supreme-court">Windsor v. United States.</a> This case appeals the constitutionality of the federal Defense Of Marriage Act (DOMA). DOMA denies any benefit, such as tax deductions, for married couples who are not of the opposite sex.</p>
<p>Jointly, these cases are, IMO, about  fairness, equality, and family. What constitutes a family?  Is it right to deny a couple the rights, privileges, and responsibilities of marriage granted all other loving adults?  Does prejudice trump the protections of due process and equal protection clauses of the 14th amendment to the US Constitution?</p>
<p>These questions have come up before. There are a total of <a href="http://www.afer.org/blog/14-supreme-court-cases-marriage-is-a-fundamental-right/">14 previous marriage-equality cases</a> that have reached the US Supreme Court. All of these cases have declared that marriage is a fundamental right for all.  The most famous case—and one that will be part of the argument for same-sex marriage in today’s case—is Loving v. Commonwealth of Virginia.</p>
<p>In 1967, Chief Justice Earl Warren, in an <a href="http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/scripts/getcase.pl?court=US&#38;vol=388&#38;invol=1">unanimous decision</a>, overturned Virginia’s miscegenation law that bans marriage <i>“solely on the basis of racial classifications [because it violates] the Equal Protection and Due Process Clauses of the Fourteenth Amendment.” </i></p>
<p>When you read further into the opinion you can see that it was prejudice that was the sole basis for Virginia’s (and 15 other states) laws banning interracial marriage. The argument that the state made for keeping the miscegenation law on the books was highlighted in the Court’s opinion. Chief Justice Warren quoted the judge who had sentenced Mildred and Richard Loving to either 1 year in jail or 25 years of exile from Virginia:</p>
<blockquote><p>&#8220;Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, malay and red, and he placed them on separate continents. And but for the interference with his arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix.&#8221;</p></blockquote>
<p>Then Warren overturned the statute stating that there is no legal, “rational” basis to deny someone the constitutional right of marriage equally granted to all other heterosexual couples. And in one simple statement, he basically said that marriage is an issue of equality for all. He said,</p>
<blockquote><p>“The freedom to marry has <b>long been recognized</b> as one of the <b>vital personal rights </b><em>[emphasis added]</em> essential to the orderly pursuit of happiness by free men.” <i> </i></p></blockquote>
<h2>What happened after this decision?</h2>
<h3>Interracial Marriages</h3>
<p>The result of this opinion was that all anti-miscegenation laws throughout the country became unenforceable. And in the case of Virginia, the state was ordered, among other things, to remove this law from their books. They did it kicking and screaming. It took them until 1971–four years after the Court&#8217;s decision–to finally comply.</p>
<p>And I was in the room when it happened. And as far as I can find, they made as sure as they could that the legislators’ prejudicial behavior wouldn’t appear in the history books.</p>
<p>I grew up in Virginia. During my senior year in high school, our Government Class took a trip to the Capitol in Richmond. It just happened to be the day that the legislature rescinded the law banning intermarriage between people of color and Caucasians. There were six of us in the class who wanted to see the vote occur. The guards at the entrance to the visitors’ gallery shut the doors and wouldn’t let anyone in. The six of us decided to question this action and held a sit-in in front of the doors. After much consternation on the part of the guards as to what to do with us, they finally opened the doors and let us in.</p>
<p>We then watched an all-white, male legislature grudgingly vote to rescind this law. In Virginia, the House voted using a board of red and green lights – red for a no vote and green for a yes vote. The question on the floor was basically, <em>“Should we remove the two statutes in our code that prohibit and punish interracial marriages?” </em></p>
<p>The speaker put the question to a vote. The board started lighting up. All but a couple of lights were red, meaning that they almost all wanted to keep this prejudiced law on the books. About 30 seconds prior to recording the vote, the speaker again said that he would be closing the vote and asked everyone once again to vote. Just before he closed the vote for the record, all but a couple of the red lights turned green. What got recorded was a grudging acknowledgement that loving someone and getting married is a right that could no longer be denied because of animus towards the couple.</p>
<h3>Same-Sex Marriages</h3>
<p>In the case of gay and lesbian couples, we once again have an issue of animus towards the freedom to marry in some but not all states. <a href="http://www.freedomtomarry.org/states/">Thirty-nine states</a> limit marriage to heterosexual couples only via statute or state constitutional amendment.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.freedomtomarry.org/states/">Ten states</a> and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Same-sex_marriage_under_United_States_tribal_jurisdictions">three Native American tribes</a> believe otherwise. The states supporting marriage equality are Connecticut, Iowa, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New York, Vermont, Washington, and the District of Columbia. The tribes supporting marriage equality are the Coquille Tribe in Oregon, the Suquamish tribe in Washington, and the Little Traverse Bay Bands of Odawa Indians in Michigan.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.freedomtomarry.org/states/">New Mexico and Rhode Island</a> recognize marriages that occur in other states and countries, but don’t allow them to be performed within the state.  And California, unless Proposition 8 is overturned, currently and will continue to recognize only the same-sex marriages that occurred <a href="http://www.freedomtomarry.org/landscape/entry/c/supreme-court">between</a> the May 2008 CA State Supreme Court’s decision legalizing same-sex marriage and the November 4, 2008 passage of Proposition 8.</p>
<h2>Polls also tell a story as does Mildred Loving</h2>
<p>At the time of the Loving decision, <a href="http://www.gallup.com/poll/149390/Record-High-Approve-Black-White-Marriages.aspx">80% of the country</a> felt that it was wrong for interracial couple to marry. In 2011 (the most recent <a href="http://www.gallup.com/poll/149390/Record-High-Approve-Black-White-Marriages.aspx">poll</a> I could find), a record 86% of the public supported interracial marriage.</p>
<p>According to FreedomToMarry.org, <a href="http://www.freedomtomarry.org/resources/entry/marriage-polling">popular opinion</a> on gay marriage has also dramatically shifted in the last nine years. A poll addressing the issues being argued in the Proposition 8 case was released on March 18, 2013; it indicates that 58% of respondents support same-sex marriage; only 36% say they are opposed. A poll addressing the issues being argued in the DOMA case was released on March 7, 2013; it shows that 59% of respondents oppose the <i>“denial of </i><i>equal benefits and protections for legally married same-sex couples.”  </i>And regardless of support for same-sex marriage in either federal or state law, even more people—83 percent—believe that there is a constitutional right to marriage (poll released on February 19, 2013).</p>
<p>I agree. And so did Mildred Loving in one of her few <a href="https://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=88315248371">public statements on marriage equality</a>. On the 40<sup>th</sup> anniversary of the Loving v. Commonwealth of Virginia decision (June 12, 2007), she linked the freedom to marry for same-sex couples to the freedom to marry for interracial couples:</p>
<blockquote><p>I believe all Americans, no matter their race, no matter their sex, no matter their sexual orientation, should have that same freedom to marry.</p>
<p>I am still not a political person, but I am proud that Richard’s and my name is on a court case that can help reinforce the love, the commitment, the fairness and the family that so many people, black or white, young or old, gay or straight, seek in life. I support the freedom to marry for all. That’s what Loving, and loving, are all about.</p></blockquote>
<p>Let’s listen to Mildred. Let’s listen to the public. Let’s stand up to the animus similar to that expressed by those all-white legislators in the 1971 Virginia General Assembly.</p>
<p>Like Chief Justice Warren and all of his colleagues did back in 1967, the current US Supreme court needs to stand for freedom, fairness, and the family.  They should  broadly rule for marriage equality as suggested by <a title="Equal Protection or &#34;Social Tradition&#34;: The Supreme Court's Test in the Marriage Cases" href="http://www.pfaw.org/media-center/publications/equal-protection-or-social-tradition-supreme-court-s-test-marriage-cases" target="_blank">People for the American Way Foundation</a> by supporting the freedom to marry for all. Overturn Prop 8, DOMA, and all the restrictive marriage laws across the country.</p>
<p>As Mildred said,</p>
<blockquote><p>That’s what Loving, and loving, are all about.</p></blockquote>
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<title><![CDATA[I would wish this for my worst enemies. ]]></title>
<link>http://thatgirlwiththe.com/2013/03/26/for-my-enemies/</link>
<pubDate>Tue, 26 Mar 2013 14:13:55 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>SideShowShannon</dc:creator>
<guid>http://thatgirlwiththe.com/2013/03/26/for-my-enemies/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[Where were you when you fell in love for the first time? Who was it with? Was it the first or the la]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[Where were you when you fell in love for the first time? Who was it with? Was it the first or the la]]></content:encoded>
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<title><![CDATA[The Problem With Interracial Marriage]]></title>
<link>http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/the-problem-with-interracial-marriage/</link>
<pubDate>Mon, 25 Mar 2013 20:15:53 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Thought Catalog</dc:creator>
<guid>http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/the-problem-with-interracial-marriage/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[Mahogany It&#8217;s really hard to believe that in 1966, less than 50 years ago, interracial marriag]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="attachment_177751" class="wp-caption alignnone" style="width: 594px"><img class="size-full wp-image-177751" alt="Mahogany" src="http://thoughtcatalog.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/diana-ross-insert.jpg?w=584&#038;h=389" width="584" height="389" /><p class="wp-caption-text"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000B5XOSY/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&#38;camp=1789&#38;creative=390957&#38;creativeASIN=B000B5XOSY&#38;linkCode=as2&#38;tag=thougcatal0c-20">Mahogany</a><img style="border:none!important;margin:0!important;" alt="" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=thougcatal0c-20&#38;l=as2&#38;o=1&#38;a=B000B5XOSY" width="1" height="1" border="0" /></p></div>
<p>It&#8217;s really hard to believe that in 1966, less than 50 years ago, interracial marriages were still pretty much illegal across the United States. You know, people were grossed out by the idea that two people from different racial backgrounds would get their jungle fever on. That&#8217;s not even a full century ago &#8212; let that sink in for a second. Now it seems totally ridiculous to deny people of different racial backgrounds the right to marry.</p>
<p>Before the Supreme Court struck down anti-miscegenation(mixed marriage) laws in 1967, interracial marriage was legal virtually everywhere but the deep south: Texas, Virginia, Florida, Louisiana, Missouri, Alabama, Georgia, etc. <em>Surprise</em>! In fact, in 1966 it was still illegal in 17 states. 17! And even after the courts struck these laws down, it still took some states 15-20 years &#8212; or <em>longer</em> &#8212; to put any legal movement on the books.</p>
<div id="attachment_177735" class="wp-caption alignnone" style="width: 594px"><img class="size-full wp-image-177735" alt=" Interracial Family" src="http://thoughtcatalog.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/legal-map.jpg?w=584&#038;h=329" width="584" height="329" /><p class="wp-caption-text"><a href="http://interracialfamily.org/IR_couples.jpg"> Interracial Family</a></p></div>
<p>American racial history, and the history of the mixing of races in particular, is a super fascinating topic. And being reminded of some of the more ridiculous highlights from our past helps us see why things are the way they are today. In <a href="http://query.nytimes.com/mem/archive-free/pdf?res=F50817FD3D5517738DDDAA0894DD405B888CF1D3">1908</a> there was a black/white banquet sponsored by the Greater New York Cosmopolitan Society, dubbed by Southern naysayers as &#8220;the great miscegenation banquet&#8221; &#8212; they were <em>very</em> creative &#8212; and those southern people could not get into all of that racial mixing. You know what I say: if people can&#8217;t take what you&#8217;re doing, it means you&#8217;re doing something right. Anyway, <em>The Richmond News Leader</em>, one of the more conservative political papers in the country, described the fabulous party as matter of Northern foolishness, saying it was &#8220;eminently disgusting.&#8221; They were all, &#8220;We down here have long since settled the question that there can be no such thing as miscegenation and equality between the races.&#8221;</p>
<p>Yikes, guys.</p>
<p>But it doesn&#8217;t even stop there. Did you know that as early as 1833 the state of Alabama <a href="http://www.salon.com/2001/03/08/sollors/">had separate punishments</a> for couples who committed adultery based on whether a white-white couple or a black-white couple was involved? Separate punishments for the same deed. As if that wasn&#8217;t enough, there was <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Racial_Integrity_Act_of_1924">Virginia&#8217;s Act to Preserve Racial Integrity of 1924</a> which literally required people getting married in the state to hand in authenticated racial genealogies to prove that the couple came from the same racial stock. </p>
<p>I can&#8217;t.</p>
<p>And in 1963, a journalist by the name of Tuck Stadler asked President Truman whether interracial marriage would become widespread in the United States, and the President actually <a href="http://books.google.com/books?id=tggfcZQyofAC&#38;pg=PA54&#38;lpg=PA54&#38;dq=would+you+want+your+daughter+to+marry+a+negro+truman&#38;source=bl&#38;ots=_00qhcGzd2&#38;sig=cO12OJoWJE7Djyb_T28hB8qpdYE&#38;hl=en&#38;sa=X&#38;ei=OH1QUfLBH9OI2gW1-oDwAw&#38;ved=0CC4Q6AEwAA#v=onepage&#38;q=would%20you%20want%20your%20daughter%20to%20marry%20a%20negro%20truman&#38;f=false">said</a>: &#8220;I hope not; I don&#8217;t believe in it. Would you want your daughter to marry a negro?&#8221;  before finally arguing that interracial marriage definitely went against the teachings of the Bible. 1963! Most of our parents were probably teenagers by then.</p>
<p>And in addition to the usual Bible thumping reasons for being against interracial marriage, there was also this bit from the 1967 <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loving_v._Virginia"><em>Loving vs Virginia</em></a> case which <a href="http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/scripts/getcase.pl?court=US&#38;vol=388&#38;invol=1">struck down</a> prohibitions of interracial marriage:</p>
<blockquote><p>It is clear from the most recent available evidence on the psycho-sociological aspect of this question that intermarried families are subjected to much greater pressures and problems then those of the intermarried and that the state&#8217;s prohibition of interracial marriage for this reason stands on the same footing as the prohibition of polygamous marriage, or incestuous marriage or the prescription of minimum ages at which people may marry and the prevention of the marriage of people who are mentally incompetent</p></blockquote>
<p>Does any of this sound familiar to anyone?</p>
<p>Unlike nearly every other country, interracial marriage has been prohibited basically throughout the entire history of the United States &#8212; from 1662 until 1967. And that irreversible fact has extensive, omnipresent consequences, shaping everything from access to stuff to who makes it in Hollywood to our ideals of beauty.</p>
<p>As we inch towards greater equality and access for all, we should always remind ourselves that a glance at the past and where we were is almost always a story about the present and where we can go. [tc-mark]</p>
<h3 style="padding-left:60px;">You should like Thought Catalog on Facebook <a href="http://www.facebook.com/thoughtcatalog">here</a>.</h3>
<p>[ad-mpu] </p>
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<title><![CDATA[Mixed People Monday - Shannon Elizabeth]]></title>
<link>http://nomorerace.wordpress.com/2013/03/25/mixed-people-monday-shannon-elizabeth/</link>
<pubDate>Mon, 25 Mar 2013 14:42:05 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>Earnest Harris</dc:creator>
<guid>http://nomorerace.wordpress.com/2013/03/25/mixed-people-monday-shannon-elizabeth/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[As mixed as they come. The actress (American Pie, Scary Movie and Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back) ha]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="attachment_2296" class="wp-caption aligncenter" style="width: 399px"><a href="http://nomorerace.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/untitled14.png"><img class="size-full wp-image-2296" alt="As mixed as they come." src="http://nomorerace.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/untitled14.png?w=389&#038;h=532" width="389" height="532" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">As mixed as they come.</p></div>
<p>The actress (<i>American Pie</i>, <i>Scary Movie</i> and <i>Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back) </i>has a Syrian Lebanese father and a mother of English, Irish, German and Cherokee ancestry.</p>
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<title><![CDATA[love is many things]]></title>
<link>http://mulattodiaries.wordpress.com/2013/03/25/love-is-many-things/</link>
<pubDate>Mon, 25 Mar 2013 11:41:12 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>tiffdjones</dc:creator>
<guid>http://mulattodiaries.wordpress.com/2013/03/25/love-is-many-things/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[&#8230;but it shouldn&#8217;t be a secret.  That really hit home for me. I wish that this young woma]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>&#8230;but it shouldn&#8217;t be a secret.  That really hit home for me.</p>
<p>I wish that this young woman could talk to Nia.  I hope that she at least reads <a href="http://www.xojane.com/issues/how-not-to-be-a-dick-to-your-interracially-dating-friend">the essay</a>.  Not that Nia touched on the topic of having racist black parents to contend with, but I think that Danielle could be inspired by the way in which Nia boldly and candidly addresses many of the issues facing interracial couples.</p>
<p>Yes, I called Danielle&#8217;s parents racist.  They are.  I&#8217;ve found that some people are under the impression that black people can&#8217;t be classified as racist.  That that is a delineation that we reserve for the &#8220;oppressor.&#8221;  So not true.</p>
<p>Case in point from U-Mich Race Card Project:</p>
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<hgroup>
<h2>History; NEVER TRUST A WHITE MAN!</h2>
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<p>Kwende Idrissa Madu<br />
Russellville, AL</p>
<p>I imagine it&#8217;s gonna be a tough row to hoe going through life in America completely unwilling and unable to trust a white man.  I also imagine that it could be a large majority of &#8220;minorities&#8221; who really feel that way.</p>
<p>Back to Danielle though:  I admire her for not letting go of the love of her young life.  For seeing and feeling beyond her parents&#8217; antiquated and limiting fear based belief system.  And for deciding that it&#8217;s time to &#8220;come out&#8221; and love in the open and let the cards fall where they may because that is the only way for her to truly live.</p>
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<h1><a href="http://www.ebony.com/love-sex/confessions-im-hiding-my-interracial-relationship-from-my-parents-304#axzz2O0BnK5Kd">[CONFESSIONS]</a></h1>
<h1><a href="http://www.ebony.com/love-sex/confessions-im-hiding-my-interracial-relationship-from-my-parents-304#axzz2O0BnK5Kd">“I’m Hiding My Interracial Relationship From My Parents”</a></h1>
<p><a href="http://www.ebony.com/love-sex/confessions-im-hiding-my-interracial-relationship-from-my-parents-304#axzz2O0BnK5Kd">A YOUNG WOMAN FEARS THAT HER FAMILY WON&#8217;T ACCEPT THE LOVE OF HER LIFE</a></p>
<p>ByDANIELLE T. POINTDUJOUR</p>
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<div><img alt="[CONFESSIONS]&#60;br /&#62;&#60;br /&#62;&#60;br /&#62;&#60;br /&#62;<br />
â��Iâ��m Hiding My Interracial Relationship From My Parentsâ��&#8221; src=&#8221;<a href="http://static.ebony.com/interracial_couple_caro2_article-small_22298.jpg&#038;#8221" rel="nofollow">http://static.ebony.com/interracial_couple_caro2_article-small_22298.jpg&#038;#8221</a>; /></div>
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<p><strong>I grew up surrounded by love. </strong>I have the fondest memories of my parents spontaneously stealing &#8216;private&#8217; kisses, the grand romantic gestures of my aunts and uncles and watching my grandparents dancing to old records in their living room.  Love was all around me and I spent hours dreaming of the day I&#8217;d have one to call my own.  It wasn’t until high school that I started to realize that the love I saw and wanted came with conditions.</p>
<p>Since I wasn’t allowed to date until I was 16, I had a secret boyfriend in the months leading up to that milestone birthday.  Mike was the best beau a teen girl could have—tall, handsome, funny and happy to carry my books and hold my hand.  He reminded me a lot of my father, the way he played with me and did &#8216;man&#8217; things like pulling out my chair and holding all the doors.  He was great, so naturally I thought nothing of bringing him home for my parents to meet right after I turned 16.  I thought nothing of the fact that he&#8217;s White.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ll never forget the look on my parents&#8217; faces when Mike walked through the door: confusion mixed with horror.  When he left—after an hour of awkward silence interrupted by short bursts of conversation—the drama began. My parents forbade me from seeing my honey again and told me that boys “like him” are only interested in me for sex and that I should “stick to my own kind.”  They tried to scare me with stories of violent racism and visions of children addicted to drugs because of their struggle with identity.  I tried to explain that his race didn’t matter to me, the way he treated me did.  I wanted him to know that Mike&#8217;s love reminded me of the love I grew up with. They weren’t trying to hear it.</p>
<p><strong>For the rest of our high school years</strong> we dated in secret and by the time college came, the boy that held my hand became the man who held my heart.  Still, I had to have Black male friends pretend to take me on dates to throw my parents off.  I made up excuses to not come home on breaks so I could spend them with Mike&#8217;s family, who welcomed me with open, loving arms and had a hard time understanding my choice to hide our relationship.</p>
<p>I tried a few times to slip the topic of interracial dating into conversations with my parents, telling stories of friends who were happily dating or getting married.  The response was always the same: “Good for them, but you’re going to bring home someone that looks like us.”  My father even hinted that he would cut off my college funds if I went “that way.”</p>
<p>I felt trapped.</p>
<p><strong>After college, Mike and I decided to apply for graduate school</strong> in Spain. While his parents were thrilled that we would be living abroad together and sharing an adventure, mine were worried about me going so far away and wondered how I would find the man of my dreams in a country where the majority of the people don&#8217;t speak English.  Little did they know the man of my dreams was actually a reality and had been in my life for quite some time.</p>
<p>It has been six months since we moved to Spain together and almost seven years since we started dating, and I couldn’t be happier!  All the fears my parents have for our relationship have yet to materialize, even here in this foreign land. Our love for each other has grown so much that I’ve come to realize that it’s time to tell my parents.  I love this man and I want to shout it from the rooftops. I no longer care what my parents or anyone else thinks about it and I’m tired of lying. Love is many things, but one thing it shouldn’t be is a secret.  Recently, we’ve been talking more about marriage and our future—both things that I want my parents to experience with us.  I hope that they can try to be open-minded enough to share in our love, but if not, that’s okay.  We have plenty of family and friends around that support us unconditionally and they can appreciate just what love is supposed to be: colorblind and limitless.</p>
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<title><![CDATA[interracial relationships still viewed as outlandish]]></title>
<link>http://mulattodiaries.wordpress.com/2013/03/22/interracial-relationships-still-viewed-as-outlandish/</link>
<pubDate>Fri, 22 Mar 2013 13:46:57 +0000</pubDate>
<dc:creator>tiffdjones</dc:creator>
<guid>http://mulattodiaries.wordpress.com/2013/03/22/interracial-relationships-still-viewed-as-outlandish/</guid>
<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;m excited to share this article, not only because my friend Nia wrote it, but because finall]]></description>
<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I&#8217;m excited to share this article, not only because my friend Nia wrote it, but because finally someone has been bold and truthful enough to lay this stuff out for us.  I mean, yes, we all know that these stereotypes exist.  We have all heard, witnessed, or discussed these taboos.  But in bits and pieces.  Nia gave us, like, the <em>entire</em> run down.  From personal experience.  It&#8217;s the kind of experience that literally created me, yet it&#8217;s also one that I haven&#8217;t had exactly.  I have dated white guys certainly.  I have had people say to me, with words or hostile, disappointed, or dismissive glances &#8220;you&#8217;ve turned your back on your own kind.&#8221; But because (despite appearances and societal definition) I&#8217;m white too,  I never felt like I was really in an interracial relationship in the same way that a &#8220;monoracial&#8221; black woman might.  I ponder different things when I imagine my future children.</p>
<p>So, thank you, Nia for boldly going where most wouldn&#8217;t.  For candidly and hilariously covering the whole story. I hope your kids don&#8217;t get asked &#8220;What are you?&#8221; I hope that if they do, they&#8217;ll know with unshakeable certainty that the answer is &#8220;I am a brilliant child of God and Nia and Bill.&#8221;  I know they will have a sense of humor about it.  I can&#8217;t wait to meet them.</p>
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<h1><a href="http://www.xojane.com/issues/how-not-to-be-a-dick-to-your-interracially-dating-friend">I&#8217;M A BLACK WOMAN WHO DATES WHITE GUYS &#8211;</a></h1>
<h1></h1>
<p>&#160;</p>
<h1><a href="http://www.xojane.com/issues/how-not-to-be-a-dick-to-your-interracially-dating-friend">HOW TO NOT BE A DICK</a></h1>
<p>&#160;</p>
<div>I am not some census-taking dick measurer, OK?</div>
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<div><img title="" alt="" src="http://www.xojane.com/files/styles/32_32/public/fields/xoJane%20Pic.jpg" width="32" height="32" /></div>
<p><a href="http://www.xojane.com/author/nia-renee-hill" rel="author">Nia Renee Hill</a></p>
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<div>Mar 14, 2013 at 12:00pm</div>
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<div style="text-align:left;"><a href="http://mulattodiaries.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/photo_17.jpg"><img class="wp-image-6316" alt="photo_17" src="http://mulattodiaries.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/photo_17.jpg?w=264&#038;h=352" width="264" height="352" /></a></div>
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<div>The first time I ever kissed a white guy, I swore I would never do it again.</p>
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<div>It was high school, it was my friend&#8217;s brother and I&#8217;m pretty sure I was drunk. I gave him a massive hickey, which I found pretty amusing, and I figured it was just an &#8220;experience.&#8221; Something I&#8217;d write about in my journal, the one with Maya Angelou&#8217;s picture on the cover.</div>
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<div>I attended a posh mostly Catholic prep school in the suburbs of Atlanta. I knew every Black person in my school. A lot of us took MARTA (the public transportation system) home. Once when it was pouring rain, one of the priests gave a couple of us Black kids a ride to the train station so we didn&#8217;t have to get soaked waiting for the bus.</div>
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<div>We joked that those rain affected our hair in such a way that it made the priest&#8217;s car smell like activator.  We bonded, this small circle of Black kids in a privileged white world.</div>
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<div>Despite the fact that this was the 90s, it was still the South. So many of my classmates mocked Black culture, defended the Georgia state flag and compared slavery to the potato famine that I didn&#8217;t exactly feel like interracial dating was an option. That all changed when I went to college.</div>
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<div>I mean, how could I not eventually date a white guy? I went to a liberal arts college in Boston. Along with Sociology, it was practically a required course.</div>
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<div>In that blissful 4 years, I hooked up, dated and fell in love without a care in the world. I moved to New York after college and continued to tear through men with abandon. It was a glorious time. I&#8217;m proud that I had a lot of not so great relationships with men of varied ethnicities and didn&#8217;t become bitter and jaded.</div>
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<div>That being said, I still ended up feeling like I was constantly defending and explaining my choices to overly enthused white women, annoyed Black men, judgmental Black women and fetishizing white men. Hopefully, this handy guide will help all of us approach the subject in a more informed and less dickish manner.</div>
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<div><strong>DON&#8217;T ASK ME IF WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT BLACK GUYS VS. WHITE GUYS IS REALLY TRUE. WINK WINK.</strong></div>
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<div>Please don&#8217;t go there. Let&#8217;s just say I&#8217;ve been surprised about how UNTRUE it is. Also, I am not some census-taking dick measurer, OK? While we can certainly generalize about the physical attributes of all races, penis size seems to be the most obsessed over. It&#8217;s gross and unnecessary.</div>
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<div>Also, you don&#8217;t need to be all up in my sex life like that. I&#8217;m not the kind of chick who needs to go on and on about the size of a man&#8217;s penis and those that do get an eyebrow raise from me. I had this one friend and I swear to God, every time she started dating a new guy he had the BIGGEST PENIS SHE HAD EVER SEEN. No, he didn&#8217;t. Stop.</div>
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<div>Do you really want to know if what they say is true? Sleep with a white guy, then sleep with a black guy. Better yet, invite them both over and do a side-by-side comparison. Take pictures, make a graph, email it to me and we&#8217;ll meet for scones and tea to discuss it. Just kidding. Black people don&#8217;t eat scones.</div>
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<div><strong>DON&#8217;T ASK ME IF I&#8217;VE GIVEN UP ON BLACK MEN.</strong></div>
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<div>There seems to be this pervasive idea that if you date a non-Black man as a Black woman, then you must hate Black men. I&#8217;ve had Black women say to me, &#8220;Oh, you like WHITE guys!&#8221; as if they were unlocking the secret to my personality.</div>
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<div>Even a childhood friend remarked very flippantly, &#8220;Oh, Nia only dates white guys,&#8221; when she knew very well that wasn&#8217;t true.</div>
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<div>We also seem to be living in a time when the media is very concerned for us poor Black women. You see, apparently there are &#8220;no good Black me left&#8221; so many of us are single and alone. I refuse to participate in that discussion because I don&#8217;t believe that is true. I&#8217;ve seen too many awesome Black husbands and fathers (including my father, step-father, grandfather, uncle, etc.) to give into that line of thought. These books and TV shows that continue to perpetuate this lie, are only interested in profiting from our insecurity and we need to call them on their bullshit. It creates more of a divide when we need to keep fighting for unity.</div>
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<div>There are certainly some issues involving the personal and professional successes of Black women versus men but to think that I have turned my back on my brothers because of who I am romantically involved with implies that I see them as one and have dismissed them all. Not true. I try to treat everyone as an individual and you should do the same. Yes, I am on my high horse, thank you very much.</div>
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<div><strong>DON&#8217;T ASK ME WHAT MY FAVORITE KIND OF GUY TO DATE IS.</strong></div>
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<div>Here&#8217;s a sampling of the various types of men I&#8217;ve dated: Black, White (Irish, German, Italian), Jewish, Latino, and various combinations of all of the above. You want to know which were my favorites? The ones who didn&#8217;t treat me like shit. The ones who cared about me.</div>
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<div>I find that some Black women feel that a White guy will treat them better than a Black guy will. News flash, ladies: All men can be assholes. Douchebaggery isn&#8217;t race specific. This need to lump everyone together instead of taking the time to learn things about the individual is so lame and lazy.</div>
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<div>Men like to joke about this as well. Black women are difficult. White women only want to please. Asian women are subservient. It seems odd to have to remind people not to give into stereotyping but everyone from the hipster to the executive feels like they&#8217;ve done enough cultural studies to know everything about everybody.</div>
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<div><strong>DON&#8217;T GUSH TO ME ABOUT HOW PRETTY MY BABIES WILL BE</strong></div>
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<div>Well, maybe this is a little true. Bi-racial people of all combinations do have a tendency to be beautiful. But still! Don&#8217;t put that pressure on me!</div>
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<div>Ever since I began dating my White fiancee, people literally gasp when I talk about starting a family. They fall all over themselves envisioning our light-skinned children with their silky hair and light eyes. But what if they don&#8217;t look like that? What if they look traditionally Black? Are they not as beautiful? If my daughter&#8217;s hair texture is more like mine (kinky) than my fiancee&#8217;s (fine), did she lose out somehow? If instead of getting her father&#8217;s genes of being tall and skinny, she gets mine of being short and round, has she gotten the raw end of the deal? What if they aren&#8217;t what you consider beautiful?</div>
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<div>I mean, of course they will be, my fiancee and I are both INCREDIBLY good looking but that is always the first thing people comment on. I&#8217;m more interested in what my children will aspire to be, having creative parents. I wonder who will be the fun parent. I wonder how people will see them. I wonder if kids will mockingly ask them, &#8220;What ARE you?&#8221; I wonder, if they acknowledge both their Black AND White sides, will people insist that they choose just one. I wonder if they can have a sense of humor about it all.</div>
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<div>But mostly, I just hope they aren&#8217;t dicks.</div>
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