Penske Racing hired Will Power of Australia to drive full-time next year after giving the Indy Racing League driver a part-time gig last season.

Power will drive for a team that features countryman Ryan Briscoe and three-time Indianapolis 500 winner Helio Castroneves of Brazil.

“It is a dream come true,” Power told reporters on Thursday after Penske made the announcement. “It’s something I’ve worked very hard for my whole career, to end up in a place like this.”

Penske said the move was a key element of a multiyear deal with Verizon Wireless that began this year. Power’s deal was only for the 2010 season, and additional years haven’t been discussed.

Power drove for Penske last season while Castroneves dealt with U.S. tax issues. After Castroneves returned, Power stayed on temporarily and finished fifth at the Indianapolis 500. Penske eventually brought him back, and Power finished third at Toronto and won at Edmonton.

He broke four bones in his back, had a concussion and chipped his left front tooth in a collision.Power said he’s on pace to recover in time for next season.”I’m feeling really good,” he said. “Everything’s going well. It’s actually ahead of schedule, the way my back healed. I don’t think there’s going to be any problem getting back in the car in January.”

Penske felt it couldn’t afford to take a chance on Power going elsewhere.

“With the results he had last season, there was probably going to be more people knocking on his door if they found out he was available,” Cindric said.

Power said he wanted to stay all along because of Penske’s quality.

Bboy France 2009

Tu m’excuseras pour le retard, je n’ai pas une minute à moi! Bref, c’est mon blog donc je m’en fous, je fais ce que je veux! je te prie de m’excuser, ôh cher lecteur fidèle! Mais après tout, un mois après l’événement, c’est pas la mort…

Commençons par le commencement. Je t’ai présenté l’événement, voici le bilan:

Tout d’abord, le B-Girl France.

Alors, comme je te l’ai dit, j’ai pas pu être présent ce jour là, mais mon acolyte Zac, alias Valentin, y était. Donc, d’après ses impressions, il y avait du lourd niveau level féminin. Selon lui, du beau spectacle malgré un public endormi dans de beaux petits fauteuils trop confortables.

La gagnante: B-girl Manuella de Figure 2 Style. Elle remporte la victoire face à Mi-mouche; respect à Mi-mouche d’être arrivée en finale en partant des qualifications. Mi-Mouche qui mise tout sur l’originalité et la musicalité, et ça a payait. Manuella qui mettrait plus d’un mec à l’amende .

Au passage, on remarquera le très bon battle Manuella contre Soso, avec le petit kick discret de Soso , prenez en de la graine et troquez vos talons pour des baskets: Rejoignez les b-girls, on en manque!

Passons maintenant au B-Boy France, auquel j’ai assisté avec Hélène, Zac et Charlotte, sa soeur. Après mon kiff de l’année dernière, j’attendais vraiment cet événement. Bilan de cette édition:

Premier mot qui me vient à l’esprit: BOYCOTT !!  Ouais, c’est malheureux à dire, d’autant que c’est un évènement avec du potentiel. Je vais pas faire durer le suspens plus longtemps: Abdel de 59 Krew représentant Grande-Synthe (la ville organisatrice), eux mêmes organisateurs (dont son frère: Lascen) se retrouve une seconde fois en finale. Le public, composé à 75% de racailles-wallah et de poufs pucelles, participe honteusement à ce boycott. Des chauvins qui ne se manifestent que lorsqu’on aperçoit Abdel. Oui, je suis un peu agressif dans mes mots, mais c’est simplement parce que je suis déçu. Je me mettrais sûrement beaucoup de monde à dos en faisant ces accusations, mais le peu de b-boys présents dans le public le confirmera, de bons danseurs se sont fait éliminés alors qu’ils méritaient sûrement de monter plus haut. Et moi, je trouve cela dommage. Oui, n’y voyait là aucune haine ou jalousie, juste de la déception…

Pour parler des événements positifs qui ont relevé le niveau:

• Le vainqueur: Keyz de Original South King, qui à fait un bon battle.
• Deux passages parfaits de Meda, même si ce battle fut le parfait exemple du boycott, mais bon, on retiendra quand même sa performance.

Et enfin, mes coups de coeur:

• Une excellente prestation de Bob de Zygomatik. Je l’ai découvert, mais franchement j’ai super bien kiffé, au même titre qu’Hélène. Musical, original, énergique, rien à dire. J’adore .

• Un superbe show du Wanted posse, Babyson et Junior. C’était pas prévu dans les guests mais très agréable surprise. Deux très bons danseurs qui ont fait un beau mélange de break et de new style. Personnellement, je vous le recommande .

Voilà, l’essentiel est dit. Toutes les vidéos des battles et des shows sont en lignes sur le blog, et ça c’est toujours spécialement pour toi petit lecteur, merci qui? .

Pour le reste, tout est dans le podcast:

Peace.

Media Release    11/25/2009

Edit: Just so you know, today’s post doesn’t really have anything to do with Warcraft.  I mean, I tried to figure out a clever way of integrating it, but I just came out awkward and a little trite.  Nevertheless, I think it’s an interesting story so I’m sharing it with you here.  Feel free to skip it though if you want.  I won’t be offended.

I went to a High School with a very large, and very good athletics department.  Their football team won state champions 10 years running.  They had a dozen track stars who probably went on to have Olympian level careers.  They had a fancy gym with lots of equipment, two full sized basketball courts, a football field, a separate track and field (re: not just a track around the edge of the football field), a baseball diamond and full sized tennis court.  The only thing they lacked was a swimming pool, but that’s because it was in the old building they had torn down and hadn’t gotten around to building a new one.  Lots and lots of money went in to the athletics department.  Like, holy crap wow.

Then there was the arts department.  We didn’t have fancy equipment or setups like the sports teams, but we had skilled people all the same.  Many of whom also likely went on to have marvelous careers.  Unlike the athletics department, the amount of money that came our way was very small.  The school didn’t have much of an ‘art’ budget. Each department in the arts was responsible for getting their own money.

The music department always had plenty of money because most of the kids in the school choir were the children of affluent parents.

The theater department was lucky if we could get money to turn on the lights in the morning.

My senior year I was put in charge of the theater department (on the student side anyway).  I ran everything that went through our theater from assemblies to plays to touring professional shows.  Once we even had the Attorney General come and speak.  During my tenure as Production Manager, I fought hard to get funding for the theater.  We were badly in need of money to buy supplies and equipment.  After months of fighting, I managed to convince the school to give us a rather large portion of a generous private donation the school had received.

I was really looking forward to getting the money.  It would have helped us get brand new equipment and supplies and generally elevate the level of our productions upwards.  I didn’t tell the rest of the kids because I wanted the new supplies to be a surprise.  In the end, I’m glad I didn’t tell them.  That way, I was the only one disappointed in the end.

See, I had made a list of the things we needed.  I priced them out, made sure to get the best quality for the lowest price.  I was all set to buy the stuff, all I needed was to get a purchase order from the school treasurer.  I went down to her office, all ready to get my order, and instead of walking out with it, I left severely disappointed.  Turns out, that after the meeting that I had attended, wherein they allocated me money, there was another meeting which I had not been invited to wherein all that money was reallocated to the football team.  I don’t know what they ‘needed’ the money for, but I imagine it was something like they wanted to repaint the goal posts from yellow to slightly darker yellow.

Was I angry?  You better believe it.  Did I try to get the decision reversed?  Damn right I did.  Was it fair?  No.  Was it the right decision?  I have no idea.  Probably not, but I have no idea what the situation over at the football team was.  Just because they got all the money, didn’t mean that money was being wasted or wasn’t necessary.  I imagine it costs quite a bit to run a successful football team, what with uniforms, and footballs, and those weird things with the pads on them that the coach stands on and the players smash into, pushing it across the field…whatever they are called… Anyway, I imagine those things aren’t cheap.  And just because I don’t play football, doesn’t mean that there weren’t people who really enjoyed it.  It wouldn’t be fair for the theater department to take money that was supposed to be for the football team.  That being said, I still think it was total and complete nonsense that, without even telling me, the money was taken away from us and given to them.  I don’t know what they needed it for, but I do know we needed it more.  I know that because we never got any money.  Ever.

Now, nearly a decade later I look back on it and am actually grateful we didnt’ get the money.  Don’t get me wrong, I still think it would have been awesome, and we would have done some cool things with it.  But in the end, I learned a lot more without the money than I would have with it.  First I learned that you can’t give up just because you can’t afford something.  There’s always a way to make it work.  I also learned how to stretch supplies all the way to their limit.  Waste was not a part of my vocabulary.  We reused everything.  And when something broke, we learned how to fix it instead of just replacing it.  And sometimes we had to come up with some very unique solutions to the problems we faced.

When I got to college I quickly discovered that not everyone went to a high school with an underfunded art department.  Some of those folks had all the money in the world.  I couldn’t help being a little jealous.  They had already worked on very large productions, with some very cool pieces of technology.  I felt like I was behind.  And they weren’t shy about bragging about all the money their programs had and the stuff they were able to buy and the size of their shows and so on.  I assumed that meant they were better at theater than me.

And maybe they were able to think a little bigger than me.  But when we started doing the small student productions something changed.  Those student shows had no money.  And what happened the first time a problem came up during our student shows?  Well, they were certainly good at conceptualizing things, and knew how to order more supplies, but seeing as how poor college kids don’t have money, new supplies weren’t coming.  So who did they turn to when things broke?  Me.  Why?  Because apparently I was the only one who knew how to fix things.  So I guess I wasn’t as far behind as I thought.

So what the hell is my point, and how does this relate to Warcraft?

Well, my point is, things that seem like crappy unfair situations may actually benefit you more in the long run that having everything handed to you.  I’m a better technician because I had to learn how to deal with meager situations early on.  And I’m a better designer because I’m a great technician.  So, if I was sent back in time in some weird temporal wormhole like some many Star Trek episodes, I would probably be the one breaking in to the treasures office and secretly reallocating the funds from the theater department to the football team.

This doesn’t actually have anything to do with Warcraft.  Maybe I should have led with that.  Hang on, let me make an edit.

I mean I could probably pull something out of my ass like the times we fail and wipe may make us better players in the end (assuming we learn from the mistakes).  I could mention that being carried through runs is not nearly as exciting and useful as doing things yourself, even if that means you’re not in some top-rated guild.  I could do that, but I’m not going to.  Really I just wanted to share this story with you.

“[Insert clever sign off phrase here]“

~Fizz

I recently had an asignment in my Social Studies Methods class dealing with family heritage. We were supposed to pick a food that we found to best represents our familys culture (not necessarily your nationality). I’m curious what food makes you think of family?

Sorry I’ve been away for quite a while so there hasn’t been anything for new posts. I’ll try to upload something at least every other day from now on.

My father celebrated his 50th birthday last night, and we had a totally awesome party. The whole house (meaning the parentals, my sisters, my aunt, and myself) met up with some family friends at this restaurant Dad enjoys called Sofrito. We had mixed drinks, ate delicious Latin food. And apparently a lot of people had the same idea as we did, because they cut the music for their own special rendition of “Happy Birthday” about a dozen times. Dad is 50 now, and despite my lack of “half-a-century” old jokes, I think the last 36 hours have been really good for him. He and Mom rented a hotel room for the night, so they could go off and be cute and private. Then today, we had a more traditional family party at my house. This means that the grandparents came by, we had more music, homemade food….and of course, the patented Mercado family “Off-Key Birthday” disco mix!

A great thing also happened to me during this time. I was able to procure a steady day job through my job agency. I’m working at an Insurance Company, in their Accounts Payable program. So far, after one week, I’m going pretty well. The hardest part for me so far has been re-adjusting my sleep schedule. Being a gamer inherently means later hours than most people, so I had gotten really used to staying awake until 2 or 3 AM, and still getting a full night’s sleep since I didn’t have a job. But now, it’s going to be 6:30AM wakeups, five days a week! I can deal with it, because it’s a guaranteed amount of money in my account at the end of every week.

Now that I have a job, and am working hard to do well at it and keep it, I’m feeling really optimistic about 2010. A new decade for the rebound! I’m working on drawing up a list of cons I’m going to go to (Pax East, Blizzcon, Quakecon for sure), so that I can really sort of bask in my own geekiness. Rebound Rig v2.0 has been having some electrical problems lately. I think there’s a short somewhere in the hardware, but I don’t know where it is, how to find it, or how to fix it. However, it is that time in the life cycle of the computer enthusiast: I’m drawing up plans for a new rig. A few certainties with Rebound Rig v3.0:

• Dual video cards.
• Full-size Tower
• Either a high-RPM platter HDD, or a SSD as my Windows/Gaming Harddrive
• Either a bigger, or a second, LCD monitor.

I’m leaning towards getting a bigger monitor, because my parents have been using the same crappy CRT for the last 5 or 6 years, and my 22″ widescreen fits in the desk that they use. That would leave me free to grab myself a big ‘ol 30″ Widescreen… *awesome face*. Another thing that’s the direct result of my having a job and money, is that I’m now going to be able to attend offline gaming competitions. I’ve pretty much given up on Source, and there’s no other game that I play that I try to sit down and “train in,” so to speak. None, but Street Fighter IV.

Speaking of SF4, NEC X is coming up in less than two weeks, and I don’t feel like I’m ready. I mean, my only interest in going, is to see some of my friends who are going to be there, and to test and see how far I can go. The next two weeks, however, I really need to get into the mindset of practicing combos, reviewing matchups, playing online as much as I can, and trying to implement what I do in Training Mode, to my matches. It’s a big thing, but I hope that, by the time NEC has come and gone, I’ll have leveled up, even a little bit, for the smaller events that happen in the city, such as the now-longstanding Battlefield Arcadia series. My ultimate goal still remains: to hit Devastation and EVO, and to (ideally) do very well. NEC is naught but the start of it.

Fredag den 6. november var der nærmest landskampstemning i Historiens Hus i Odense. Den store foredragssal, der var proppet med vindjakker, skoletasker og cykelhjelme, sitrede af spænding. Baggrunden var finalen i Odensequizzen! En dyst om, hvem der vidste mest om Odense og byens historie.

Fire 6. klasser havde klaret sig bedst i den indledende runde og var kommet igennem nåleøjet til finalerunden, og finalisterne var mødt frem med bannere og indøvede kampråb. De fire skoleklasser kom fra Munkebjergskolen, Næsby Skole, Rosengårdskolen og Tingløkkeskolen, og de dystede om en samlet præmiesum på 10.000 kr.

Finalisterne var fundet blandt adskillige klasser, der havde besvaret 20 spørgsmål om Odenses fortid og nutid. Mange klasser tog imod udfordringen, hvor eleverne også skulle en tur rundt i Odenses gader for at besvare andre af spørgsmålene. Elever og historielærere bakkede op. Der var i alt 20 spørgsmål, og de vekslede mellem faktuelle og vurderende spørgsmål, så det var muligt at udvælge de bedste besvarelser. Hvis man selv har lyst til at se spørgsmål og rigtige svar, kan de ses på Historiens Hus’ hjemmeside http://www.historienshus.dk/pressemeddelelser/odensequizzen.aspx

Det var første gang, at Odensequizzen blev afholdt, og den var en markering af 90-året for renoveringen af Skt. Knuds Kloster – den bygning, hvor Historiens Hus holder til. Historiens Hus drives i samarbejde mellem Odense Stadsarkiv og Lokalhistorisk Bibliotek, der er en del af Odense Centralbibliotek. Lokalhistorien har traditionelt godt tag i de ældre generationer, så quizzen er et forsøg på at få de unge mennesker i tale og til at interessere sig mere for byens historie. Det var hele ideen bag Odensequizzen, som var inspireret en quiz, der er blevet afholdt på det olympiske museum i Lillehammer.

Det helt store multimedieshow var linet op med lyd, billeder og videosekvenser, så de mange facetter af Historiens Hus’ samlinger blev præsenteret. Spørgsmålene var forskelligartede i deres udformning. Der var 1) multiple choice – er det svar A, B eller C, der er det rigtige svar? 2) genkend en bygning – man ser først et lille hjørne af en bygning, dernæst lidt mere og så hele bygningen, 3) fup eller fakta – quizmasteren fortæller to historier, hvoraf den ene er rent fup, 4) den røde tråd – f.eks. gæt, hvad disse fire personer har til fælles og 5) se, lyt og husk – der vises filmklip, lydklip eller potpourri af billeder fra billedsamlingen, og eleverne skal bagefter huske, hvad de så eller hørte. Det hele bindes sammen af quizmasteren, der i dagens anledning er iført festtøj og høj hat.

De fire klasser havde forberedt sig grundigt. Nu var spørgsmålet bare, om det var godt nok, om man var hurtig, fantasifuld og kunne huske? Hver spørgerunde varede i 20 minutter, og klasserne havde udvalgt tre kammerater, der skulle svare på spørgsmålene. Resten af klassen sørgede for at skabe den rette stemning med pift, råb og klapsalver, når et point blev vundet. Men første point skulle vindes ved hjælp af klassens kampråb. Det fik næsten taget til at lette, og så var stemningen slået an.

Først blev der afviklet to semifinaler, og i pausen før bronzekampen og finalen blev elever og lærere forkælet med et æble og en sodavand. Efter pausen begyndte bronzekampen og selve finalen. En spændingsmættet affære, hvor vinderen af hovedpræmien på 5.000 kr. først blev fundet til allersidst.

Til Fyens Stiftstidende fortalte en stolt og glad Frederik fra vinderholdet: ”Det har bare været vildt sjovt”. ”Vi ved i hvert fald en masse om Odense”, tilføjede klassekammeraten Benedikte. Andre kommentarer lød: ”En fed oplevelse!” – ”Lige siden vi fik at vide, at vi skulle deltage, har vi læst 20 sider hver dag!” – ”En sjov måde at blive interesseret i historie på”.

For arrangørerne var det også en fed oplevelse. Odensequizzen viste sig at være den helt rigtige vej til interesse og engagement hos de 12-13 årige. En gentagelse ligger lige til højrebenet, så måske …

 Se TV2-Fyns optagelse her: http://www.historienshus.dk/home/WEB3/HistoriensHus/Pressemeddelelser/Odensequiz%202009%20finale.aspx

 Eva Therkelsen                                                           Johnny WøllekærOdense Centralbibliotek                                                          Stadsarkivet i OdenseLokalhistorisk Bibliotek                            Historiens Hus

Faktaboks

Præmierne:
1. præmien er 5.000 kr.
2. præmien er 3.000 kr.
3. præmien er 1.500 kr.
4. præmien er    500 kr.  

Regler
1. Hver klasse stiller med tre deltagere (man må gerne skifte ud på holdet mellem semifinale og finale/bronzekamp).
2. Quizzen kører på tid – ca. 20 min.
3. Det hold, der har flest point, når tiden udløber, har vundet. Vinderen går videre til finalen, mens taberen går videre til bronzekampen.
4. Der er en kort pause mellem semifinaler og finaler.
5. Konkurrencen begynder med kampråb. Ellers ingen hjælp fra publikum – andet end social opbakning med klap og lignende.
6. Hvert hold får en tavle, hvorpå de skriver deres svar, som de så viser til dommeren.
7. Hvem der møder hvem i semifinalerne, findes ved lodtrækning.
8. Typer af spørgsmål:
Multiple choice: kun et hold svarer.
Se, lyt og husk: begge hold svarer, hvis bogstaver.
Fup eller fakta: begge hold svarer, hvis bogstaver.
Den røde tråd: hvem svarer først (klokken).
Genkend en bygning: hvem svarer først (klokken).

Hello again, friends.

I’m sorry it’s been so long since my last post; I’ve been having some login issues recently with WordPress. It seems to be somewhat solved now, so onwards!

I’ve been doing some rather silly things tanking recently. Just tonight, I managed to take down Emalon as a solo tank, on 25-man difficulty – rather fun stuff, not gonna lie. Just hit 50k health raid buffed on my paladin, too, which has really helped as my guild has started working on 10-man Trial of the Grand Crusader. All sorts of fun.

All fun and games aside, though, I’ve decided that it’s time for me to step back and reassess my priorities right now. This, for me, entails a hiatus from WoW, and, by extension, from blogging. I fully expect to be back, but right now a break is needed.

Cheers.

(Before I leave, I’ll post a link to my mage’s new Arcane spec – some really cool new stuff in it that I’ll explain!)

Eredeti méret:  Itt.

Estoy fumando mucho últimamente. Aunque pasé de los Virginia a los Malboro mentolados .

Mamá me dijo que una mujer que fuma no es atractiva… A mí, ver a un hombre lindo fumar me resulta… cuanto menos atractivo (aunque sepa que se va a morir -?-)

¿Para ustedes, los hombres, es tan feo ver a una mujer fumar? Quizá ni siquiera lo piensan al verla…

Somebody want to tell me what this is? What is this blog? What is Twitter? What is Facebook, Ning, Friendfeed, etc.?

Are all these things fake? Non-existent?

No, they’re real. Real things. Real people. Real ideas. Real interaction. Real friends. Real relationships.

It’s real life.

Allow me to break a golden rule of blogging as I write an obituary…

R.I.P. “IRL”

You were there for us when we needed you. You were a crutch that we leaned on you when we weren’t sure what the hell was going on. The whole “social Internet” thing was new, and we didn’t know how to tell other people we had these all great friends and met all these smart people… online.

Alas, it was your time. You see, IRL, this, -this blog, Twitter, Facebook, Ning- is real life. We can no longer pretend like what we’re doing online is some sort of “second life” or “surreality”.

I’ve made real friends, learned real things, got real ideas- all from real interaction and real people on the Internet.

I’m glad you passed away when you did. This needn’t draw on any longer. I will not have to say “Oh, I know this marketing genius in Timbuktu, but I’ve never met him IRL”, anymore.

I hope you understand, IRL, that it has to be this way in order for the social Internet to continue to thrive. How are people I talk with, who don’t know the social web, supposed to believe what I’m doing is legitimate, or real, if I continue to infer that it isn’t real life?

It’s going to be tough to bury you. I know that there are going to be moments when I want you by my side. But I know that I just need to let you go. I need to move on with everything in my life being real.

We’ve had a good run buddy, but it’s time to let you go.

For real.

Today, I feel like connecting with someone.

I know I just posted about ten minutes ago, but I don’t feel done yet.  It’d be nice to just be in the company of someone who understands, someone else trans, maybe someone old and wise who’s been through it all.  Like Kate Bornstein.

I just checked out the only book of hers that our local library carries, “Hello, Cruel World.”  I know it’s a suicide prevention guide, and my gender dysphoria hasn’t been nearly bad enough lately to make death an option, but I just wanted someone who understood me to talk to me.  She didn’t fall short of that at all.

Even my boyfriend, who is supposed to get it more than anyone else, and who really does, isn’t THERE- he isn’t from this place, and I can’t expect him to automatically understand, even when he tries.  I don’t know any trans people in real life and I have a few remote blogging buddies, but I don’t know a single flesh-and-blood person who can relate and talk to me about this, past me educating them about something they’re clearly clueless on.  When I want guidance, and our conversations mainly consist of “How is this any different from cosmetic surgery?  Why don’t you get liposuction while you’re at it?  You’re fine the way you are,” it gets a little wearying.  When you’re talking about the sobering suicide statistics of trans people, roughly one in three, and the only way the guy can respond is “Well, they must be weak/stupid, anything is better than death,” when you’re stating that one in 12 trans people world wide will be murdered violently and you’re standing up to possibly be counted in that slaughter, and they only way they can respond is to say that it must be easier to change the inside than the outside…

You just know you’re talking to people who have no idea.

It’s a little like being from a different country entirely.  It IS being from a different culture.  Imagine being born part of a race that is physically branded by the color of their skin or the rituals of their culture to be ridiculed, spat on, torn down, made fun of and be one of the last politically “safe” punching bags the bullies can use.  Welcome to our lives.  We are the New Roma.

And guess what?  It’s only getting worse.  In a world where the circle of those who are accepted under the umbrella of protection is expanding, where the fringe of people it’s still safe to beat up on is rapidly shrinking, and where those who love to hate can’t find their fix and are told to focus their hatred and ugliness only on those who REALLY deserve it, there are only the sickos, perverts and inexcusible freaks of nature left.  And sadly enough, in the current world view, transsexuals are still under those categories.

We’re the only people left trapped in a burning apartment that the firemen won’t dare enter for fear of getting burned themselves, and we’re running out of time- if we don’t save ourselves, nobody will.

And this brings me to another topic that really burns my gills.  One of the only ways we CAN save ourselves in the world view is to stop being sideshow events and porno subjects and Jerry Springer fodder and try to make our way up in the world as respectable, upstanding, contributing citizens of society.  And yet…

It is SO hard to give back to a culture that has taken so much from us.  When you go your whole life beaten by the system and expected to be nothing more than punchlines and punching bags, you DO tend to live on the fringe, the only place that will accept you, and it’s hard to really clean up, duck your head, give nod to the Man and go back to living a white bread, vanilla life.  How can you even do that when you’ve seen so much cruelty, how far the all-powerful System falls from grace where we really slip through the gaps, when you’ve seen the really ugly side of life?  And it’s a double sided push, too.

On one side, you’ve got Society, the people who expect you to be unable to hold down a decent job and life and expect you to be ugly, incompatible with propriety and generally wrong- and yet, paradoxically, expect you to be able to overcome all of that, and sneer when you can’t.  It’s a direct challenge.

On the other side, you’ve got the trans community, which, as it evolves with the times and defines itself, can be almost as bad of an enemy as anyone else, in spite of itself.  I feel much more tremendous pressure from THAT side of things to be successful, respectable, and morally upright, and never ever let any cisgendered people catch me doing anything that might cast a shadow on the rest of the community.  In that way, I carry the burden of every other trans person on my shoulders every time I step out my doors, every time I make a decision, every time the public eye is on me.  We all do.  We all, individually, carry the weight of every other trans person out there.

And let me tell you something.  I hate it.

I hate being under such scrutiny that, if I decide to do something a little naughty, suddenly my whole people is paying for it, not just me.  I’m sure that anyone of a scrutinized minority understands that feeling.

The truth is, I do feel a responsiblity to my community, more patriotism than I do for my country or even my blood family.  I want to change the world and make it a better place for those like me.  But suddenly I’m a part of this fraternity just for being born this way, and I realize that things are turning around again for me, only on a grander scale.

I’m not part of the trans movement primarily for the sake of making the world a better place, to make a political statement, or because I believe in something greater than myself.  I didn’t “join” this to be part of a club or to take the banner of something that I believed would make me morally purer.  I’m not here because of some crusade, and I don’t support it because I want to give myself to a cause.

I’ve become trans to become myself, and I feel that if I reform myself because the trans community expects I owe them something on the sole virtue of being trans, then I’ve defeated the purpose we’re all here for.  If I become something I’m not for one side or the other, then I haven’t made any progress at all- just switched sides.

So I apologize if anything I ever do or say seems retrogressive to the trans movement, or if I ever seem selfish.  But I believe that, to change the world, we must first change ourselves, and if I change myself into something that I don’t necessarily believe in, then what do I expect of the world?

…

I will always try to honor my community the best I can, because I do love them, and I do want to change the world beyond myself, and I would like to make an effort to keep from tarnishing an already almost ruined people.  But I will not be fake to do it.  I will not censor myself, and I will not go quietly into the cage that the establishment has cut out for me.

I am me, nothing else.

A year ago I was commuting to Palo Alto daily, seeking to be a part of
a community, yet unsure how to make it happen. Today, I am sitting at
my local coffee shop, where I know every barista’s name. The Creamery
is one node in my local community that reminds me that I have managed
to join many communities, but how?

We don’t become a member of a community by default, by moving or
getting a new job. Being a part of a community requires time,
patience, effort, investment and supporting the community and it’s
individuals. Sounds like a lot of work? It is, and maybe it’s not for
everyone. For me, every ounce of effort results in compounded returns.
Relationships are no longer linear, but take on new dimensions. I
support others’ efforts across multiple communities, and I see others
doing the same. It’s not utopia. There are barriers to entry,
disagreements, misunderstandings in any community. There is, however,
one shared goal: to keep the community thriving. It’s just not
possible to maintain a thriving community without each member’s
effort.

You are probably a part of many communities, too. Do you agree? Do
you work to maintain your community and its members? How did you
join/select desired communities? Do your communities overlap? If so,
do you work to create areas of overlap? If not, do you prefer the
separation? I’d love your feedback as I nurse my coffee and ask myself
the same questions.

Posted via email from People & Communication: Online & Offline

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OK, so today was by all counts a crappy day.  Start with massive network issues in the office that had me chasing all kinds of problems real and perceived.  Add to that being thrown under the bus by a co-worker for no real reason.  Then on top of that I let someone dear to me down and well it’s after 10PM and I am still on my way home so I failed my kids.

But the item that really jabs at me is the co-worker.

And I think the reason why is because I got thrown under the bus (at least in my perception) in real time and never had a chance to respond in real time.

Now this occurred during a very broad senior level managers call, so I have to admit I was caught a little flat footed on being singled out and in my belief attacked.

But what I am wondering now is my email response on the same level as a real time attack?  Can a bell be unrung?

I know the answer to that is no.  But what I hope is that real time/real life reality can trump what amounts to semi-real (but real time) chest thumping.  And I am not sure. It’s a cross point.

This is an email driven work environment.  The conference call is sometimes a precursor to email.  Other times it’s the reinforcement.  But what happens when what is in email is diametrically different from the call? Then where does reality start and perception end? This is one I will ponder this weekend.

I got to visit with my friend Lorna this morning at Keeaumoku Starbucks for what is probably the first time in a dozen years! She used to work at The Advertiser and is now at the Chicago Tribune. She’s home to help her mom who just underwent knee surgery at Queen’s.

Thanks to Facebook and Twitter, Lorna and I stay in touch regularly. I know what wine she’s drinking with her hilarious husband, Vince, on any given weekend. I sometimes know what stories her reporters are working on!

But this morning it was in real life, IRL. Seems that when you continue your relationships in a virtual world, when you finally do run into each other, you try to give the IRL moments some more meaning. I gave her a hug that I hope made up for 12 years of absence. I could go another 12 years without seeing her and it would be alright.

We know where to find each other.

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