Here is another artist that I discovered this morning while posting the newest music videos for October 2009.

Here is a playlist of Damian Marley’s Music.

When you are a child, before you hit puberty, more often than not your parents are almost untouchable when it comes to being the king/queen of your universe. They’re big, strong and know everything about anything. The only ones better than them are their parents because they’re even wiser and don’t yell at you, they just give you candy and presents and tell you how great you are. As a kid, the ideal weekend is spent at grandma’s. The dynamic changes unfortunately, usually beginning around high school or for me, college. You get a license, you have classes, the excuses start to build up until one day, you find yourself in the workforce and barely initiating contact with these people. It gets so bad that your parents call to remind you to call them. This is when things are really bad because now poor grandma is reduced to pet-like conditions and she’s now on what’s equivalent of a walking/feeding schedule. The next step is chasing after Nana with a pooper scooper. Sadly, I am guilty of such behavior (not the pooper scooper thing, the not calling thing). It’s not for lack of love- I ADORE my Mom Mom (yes I still call her that). But again, life happens and you’re so wrapped up in your own BS, everything gets pushed aside. This past weekend, in the spirit of Christmas, I went to make things right and not only called grandma, I visited her. Results? Brilliant. Mom Mom is an amazing woman because not only was she nothing but sweet she fed me, twice! Better yet, I haven’t had that much fun just talking to someone in I don’t even know how long. Because, unlike younger folks, your elders have no filter. They’re retired, they’re achy and they’re just dying to tell you what they think. And it’s worth it! Mom Mom is smart and funny and has seen some shit in her day- I am embarrassed that I’m on here blogging about my crap- she should be doing it. What have I learned? Call Grandma. Nowhere else can you hear juicy gossip, get history lessons and eat lasagna all at the same time.

I went out with some work friends last night for some good old karaoke. We were all having a blast. Sake, sushi and Phil Collins. Amazing. As I sang my heart out to Hotel California, I was on top of the world. Then I sat down and as someone was belting out Ice, Ice Baby I saw it. I looked away from the scene of the crime and my eyes were fixed on the sushi chef- and he looked like he wanted to kill himself.

Can you imagine? When we go do karaoke, yeah most of it’s bad, but it’s just a wacky experience. But to be that sushi chef? He’s probably constantly thinking about his buddy who’s got a sweet gig doing hibachi over at Shogun meanwhile, this poor bastard’s limited to making California Rolls for some ass to wolf down in between ironic renditions of Ace of Base songs. So, next time you’re at a karaoke joint selecting a song, think of this guy:

Nas’ Nastradamus: A Review
Fresh on the heels of his 1999 disc I Am…, Nas, following DMX who had dropped two albums in one calendar year in 1998, dropped Nastradamus before 1999 was done…
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1958066/nas_nastradamus_a_review.html?cat=33

Nas’ The Lost Tapes: A Review
Nas’ The Lost Tapes is perhaps the strongest argument against music piracy you’ll ever hear. The tracks are some of the purest, rawest, and most elegant music the man has ever made…
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1958232/nas_the_lost_tapes_a_review.html?cat=33

DAMN, WHY ARE THESE BOYZ HIDING FROM ME

BOYZ …

BOYZ …

BOYZ….

I CAN’T GET ENOUGH…….

I SLID IN TO TASTE UR INNER PLEASURES, THE SPOT ONLY I CAN HIT WIT A FLICK OF THE TIP, MY TONGUE RUNNIN DOWN THE SHAFT, THE SEXUAL TENSION OF ME WANTING TO BE INSIDE YOU…HOLD UP! UR A STRICT TOP?????

WHO TOLD YOU I COULDN’T HANDLE THAT?? PAPI, I AM VERZATILE. 100% FLEXIBLE. 100% HORNY. 100% FREE TO DO WHAT I CHOOSE.

A couple of weeks ago, Zack and I were fortunate enough to attend the Red Stripe/FADER-sponsored “It Was Written” party, a night dedicated to celebrating Jamaican music, at DC’s G Fine Art.  Far from being any sort of authority on reggae, let alone anything Jamaican, I went in simply looking to have a good time (read: free Red Stripe) and perhaps learn something new about reggae that went beyond Bob Marley.  Suffice it to say, this blogger’s expectations were pretty off when it came to what actually went down.  The night centered around a performance by Terry Lynn with backing by Radioclit’s Johan Hugo.  What Zack and I saw was anything but a typical reggae performance.  Instead, we witnessed an interesting amalgam of reggae, dance, and electro, a polyamorous marriage I now gladly know can flourish.  Did I expect to dance?  No.  But it happened, and that’s always a good thing.

One other thing I loved was Miss Lynn’s stage presence.  Her commandeering of the mic was reminiscent of M.I.A.’s performance at the Virgin Festival two years ago.  She was powerful, animated, and I wanted to marry her by the end of the set.  The fact that Terry was able to accomplish this in a small art gallery was impressive and worth commending.

It seems that Terry will be in Europe for the remainder of July, so all of our transatlantic readers should take note of when and where she’s playing.  As for the rest of you, check out her music.  Even if you’re not familiar with this kind of thing, it’s definitely worth giving a listen.  Follow the link below to download a copy of the EP FADER and Red Stripe released for the event.

DOWNLOAD: It Was Written EP

Unfortunately, Zack and I weren’t able to snag any good pictures.  The guys over at Brightest Young Things, however, were.  For some snapshots of the night, go here.

Love,
Adrian

Seems Nas is just steady pumping out tracks on a song-by-song basis like it was ‘92 or something.  First, there was the that Swizz Beatz joint “Be Worried” and now, “Film,” produced by some beat contest winner C-Sick (apparently, some skinny, 18 year-old white kid).  Nas comes real heavy-like with an emphasis on cinematic storytelling and vivid imagery.

The beat fits Nas really well and goes along with the melodic, mafioso mode of It Was Written… [EDIT: Hmmm...Maybe more like The Lost Tapes now that I think about it]  But what struck me most upon listening to this song earlier today was how clownish it is that he’s the most poetic emcee in Hip-Hop but can’t string a sentence together in prose.  He was on the Colbert Report a while back talking about his street single “Sly Fox,” and he couldn’t convincingly articulate his qualms with FOX news despite having written a four-and-a-half minute song on the topic.  Interviews with Nas should henceforth be conducted in the format of a freestyle battle with 30 seconds each for the question and response.  The Bill O’Reillys of the world will be as out of their element as Nas is in their sterile “news”-talk show setting.

Nas – “Film”

I know I’ve been missing as of late on the site, but it’s all for the well being of the future of this blog, so bare with me, props to Purple SB for holding down the fort. Anyway it’s my turn this week for a throwback post of some sorts, and I decided to share with the help of THIMK the Nas SOURCE magazine sampler for his 1996 album It Was Written. Silent Murder was included on the sampler but never made it to the actual album, along with a Nas SOURCE freestyle some might know better as Escobar Season Begins. As you can tell from the excerpts, some of the beats were changed, but overall the lil homie Nas came thru with another classic LP. Photos and more after the jump. Enjoy!

DOWNLOAD: Nas Is Coming Source Sampler 96′

I love my iPhone. But, as in any relationship, I hate it too. It is the best device I could have never wanted. I purchased my iPhone on iDay. I drove 40 minutes from my house and waited in 90-degree humidity for approximately 3 hours. For a month before, I told anyone who would listen that I wanted an iPhone. When the price was released, I defended Apple tooting the iPhone as the best “damn” gadget that you they would get to see but not touch. Well…you can’t touch mine… at least but I’d gladly let them look at it as I typed on my magical screen keyboard and cruised through my album covers. I had my list already for my iTunes collection. I downloaded iTunes and prepared all of my cd’s for easy transfer to my new iPhone. Looking back on it, I was out of control. I had become the ultimate consumer. Never before had I wanted a device so badly. Please, I could live without a blackberry but not this new iPhone. I even let my extended my contract with AT&T knowing dang well I did not get reception in my own house let alone my neighborhood. Still, the iPhone was necessary have. I even started typing that stupid little branding of a lowercase I, next letter capped because I wanted an iPhone. Now I am a PC kind of guy to heart. I love PC’s. I’ve always admired mac/apple for their style but grew up using PC’s so I was quite comfortable living in a non-Mac world. Almost like living on the edge. Therefore, as the story goes, I stood in line (really sat on the sidewalk) on 6/29 wanting this phone so badly. Funny thing about 6/29, I had just quit my job and 6/29 was my official last day. From the time I submitted my notice, I had planned to get an iPhone and plotted how I would start my day, what I wore, and how I would get from my former employer to the AT&T store in the shortest time possible. I stayed late the night before just so my desk would be cleaned out so I would have no obligation to stay a minute longer than my plan. That morning, I got up and showered as usual though I had a strange feeling that I wouldn’t get an iPhone. I heard all of the stories and enduring the constant taunting that I would not be lucky enough to get an iPhone. I went to work for my last day, logged into my system for the last time and found a picture of the apple logo to pin proudly to my chest with a note saying, “I’m getting a iPhone!!” with a p.s. at the bottom that said, “No dammit, don’t touch”. Yes, if you haven’t figured it out, I’m quite brash and a bit crass to boot. So after saying my goodbyes, I rushed down to my truck and rushed to chick-fil-a for quick bite to hold me over while I waited. I also stopped for a pack of cigarettes (don’t tell me, I know it’s a bad habit) and two large cans of red bull. I got to the AT&T store and said a prayer. Well, I was slapped with a huge shock. Only 12 people ahead of me. Of course, the employees couldn’t tell me if they had at least 13 phones. I thought to myself, again, something bad was going to happen. #13…how unlucky could I really be? After the first hour, time began to speed up. A few more people had arrived and we all chatted about various meaningless topics. The second hour passed, and soon, everyone ran out of things to say. We could not get confirmation to how many phone were available though one employee can a clue that it was highly likely that they could have possibly received more than 5 phones. FIVE? Are you kidding me? FIVE as in 1, 2, 3, 4 5? What happened to 6-12? What about 13? The magic number to me. The last 30 minutes of the wait, we all crowded tightly in line as if standing toe-to-heel with the person in front of you was magically going to make you get an iPhone. Well, it must have worked; the magic hour was upon us. Finally, at 6:02, we all heard the lock click. It was if we all had a golden ticket, straight to that place beyond the sky and the ship was docking. The first two went in. I swear everyone there held their breath for the first person to emerge with a BOX! A glimpse of what was a pure slice of heaven here on earth. Finally, after what seemed like 15 minutes, the first person came out smiling from ear to ear. Actually, he looked like he wanted to run down the street screaming with pure delight. He was the lonely “fool” who camped out the night before. I can’t lie. I was happy for him but mentally recorded his license plate number just in case I didn’t get my own iPhone. As he departed, he left this small bit of knowledge, “The systems are down and until they come back up, you can’t get a phone”. As I heard this girl say once, “Oh HELL TO THE MF NO!” I was getting a phone. I had reached the end of my patience. I wanted that box and I wanted it RIGHT THEN. To hell with a system, just keep my credit card in exchange for a phone. Finally, the manager emerged and said that although the systems were running slow, 6 people could come in at once to buy the phones. I was so relieved. I felt like someone has said, “oh a car hit your dog … just joking SUCKER!” As one person came out of the store with their phone, another entered. Finally, it was my turn. I felt like the AT&T store transformed to a magical castle (okay maybe that was the pot I had smoked when I took a short cigarette break 30 minutes prior). I was inches from the glass. I felt so nervous. It was like the first time having sex. I couldn’t figure out if I should run or stay. My legs trembled; my heart raced. When that door parted an inch, I snatched the handle. Get out of my dude was the look on my face. You have a phone… me… I had nothing but a 1/2 joint, a pack of cigarettes, and a debit card fully loaded with my final paycheck. I rush in straight to the counter and hand the guy my license and credit card. He gladly accepts with a smug grin that says, damn I was I thought of this because I’m about to take this poor chaps hard earned money. I must have looked like a deer trapped in the headlights when he asked me a question. “Do you have an AT&T account?” HUH? WHAT? I came for the phone bro, stop trying to sell me something else. Oh, ha-ha, I misheard what you said, Yes sir, I have an existing account, can I have my phone now before I have an accident on myself from the anticipation? More questions followed. Phone number? What plan do you want? Do you want the additional text messages? I wanted to scream just shut the hell up, swipe my card, go to your magic hiding spot, and get my 8 gig phone. Yes, I know my total is over $600.Yes, I know I have to connect iTunes to activate it. Yes, I have a wfi connection. I kept thinking if he doesn’t shut the hell up and give me the phone; there might be one dead AT&T employee before the night is done. So finally, he starts typing and sure enough, the system goes down again. He calls the manager over who tried to log in. Nothing. He looks at me; I look at him. Then the manager. Back to him. Back to the manager. Someone say something. Do a manual order. JUST GIVE ME THE PHONE. Finally, the manager says reboot and try it again. It felt like forever but I had only been in the store 10 minutes. He reboots. Now he can’t log in. Is this a cruel joke? Then I started looking around for a video camera. I just knew I was going to be the next victim on Punk’d. I kept waiting for someone to pop out the back room laughing hysterically at my expense. Finally, he is able to log in but still no luck at typing in the serial number. The system decides it wants to operate (at dial-up speed) so he could swipe my card. After another 5 minutes, he says read the contract and sign in the box. I couldn’t tell you the first word because I didn’t read it. I only looked for that X followed by a line begging for my John Hancock so I could leave. Poor people outside waiting to get in. I’m sure they were at wits end waiting. The longest receipt in creation starts to spit out and the rep puts the phone on the counter. Before he could remove his hand, I snatch the box and cradle it like it was long lost child. He asked if I wanted a bag, handing me back my cards. I couldn’t respond. My mouth was dry. I needed water and a chair. I wave bye and out the door I go. Everyone is asking what happened and my only answer is I don’t know…LOOK…I have my box, what more do you want from me? I rush past the crowd as if someone was going to shoot me right there in front of the store and take my brand new toy away. I get in my truck and lock the doors with the windows rolled up tight; I slowly begin to open the greatest thing since sliced bread. I get it out the package and turn it on. Ohhhh, the apple symbol has never looked so appealing. Finally, I see the home menu. I put the phone under my leg just in case I get into a car accident, at least the phone would be protected. I drive like a bat straight out of hell home. I’m swerving cars, cursing old people, blowing at reckless teenagers and slamming on the gas at every yellow light. I finally get home and hook it to iTunes. It starts the sync process and I’m damn near about to ejaculate on myself. This was better than the best blowjob I have ever had. I finally get that message “iPhone is activated”. I called everyone I knew (from my house phone since I still can’t get a signal in my room) and told them about my new purchase. Oh, the jealousy in their voice was priceless. HAHAHA, cheap fools, go buy your own. I hit every button, played with every feature, started typing on the virtual keyboard, and added any phone number I could think of. I held it so close to me and sighed a breath of relief. I had a dinner date and I couldn’t wait. As I synchronized with iTunes, I took a quick shower and got dressed. By the time I was ready to go, I had in my brand new earphones and iPhone clutched tightly in my hand. No way was I going to drop this baby. The only way it would touch the ground is if my hand magically fell to the ground. I got to the restaurant, face glued to the screen. Of course everyone around is peeping over my shoulder trying to get a glimpse. I push all of the features as if I had not done the same thing an hour early. My friend kept trying to have a conversation on the get one response, “mmhmmm”. I couldn’t speak. I was mesmerized by the light. I kept thinking walk away from the light…better yet RUN! As we sat down, laid the phone on the table in front of me glancing at the screen for my very first phone call. Of course, no one called. NO ONE. I made my friend ring me just so I could see it ring. After that thrill, we placed our order. Finally, the meal came and the waitress glared at me as if I had just slapped her mama. Well, I looked back at her as if to say, “Did I just slap you mama?” Have you never seen an iPhone before? No, you are not getting a good tip; I just spent 600 on this freaking phone. Finally, she says, Oh nice phone but I need to put your plate down. I realize she had been waiting for me to move my phone so she could put my plate in front of me. By that time, I felt bad. Not only I had been rude to my friend but also now, I am being rude to the people that handle my food. I sure hope she did not spit in my pasta because she was jealous of my phone. I move the phone slightly so she could put the plate on the table but not enough that I could sit and eat. I had to slide over to the end of the bench just to eat because the phone was not leaving the table. I barely mumbled an apology and sent her away. I demolished my dinner because I had to get back home to sleep with my phone. No friend, I am not going to the club tonight. I have plans, thanks. I get back home and lay down. It had been a long day. Finally, my iPhone and I drift off to sleep. The next day, I get up for my flight to L.A. A cross-country venture with my new best friend. I pack my clothes and laptop; do a double check to make sure I have everything. I get in the truck and off I go to the airport. Of course, I have my phone buried deep in my pocket. I get on the airport shuttle and sit down, pull out my iPhone and immediately begin scrolling through my covers. The guy next to me leans over and says oh you got one of those. One of those? He doesn’t know how close he was to being decked right there on the shuttle. NO, fuck you very much, I have an iPhone you little punk. An iPhone! I get inside, retrieve my ticket, and get in the security line. I take off my shoes and put my things on the belt to be X-rayed. The TSA agent says sir you have to put your phone through the X -ray. Oh hell no I don’t…..so we stare each other down…each one begging the other to make a move. Suddenly, I realize I am in the airport and if I don’t comply, I don’t fly. So I grab a huge tray just for my baby and wish her (yes I got a female iPhone) good luck on her voyage through that damn machine that just wanted to see her naked. After I pass through the metal detector, I ask the guy if TSA is going to be responsible if the X-ray damages my phone. Mind you, I have flown many times with my old phone with no concern about it being damaged but not my girl. I needed her in top shape for the 5-hour flight ahead. Finally, she slides down and I inspect every feature, refusing to put on my shoes until I knew she was okay. Everyone giggled as if I was there for their amusement. F! U! all. You’re jealous because I gave away my hard-earned money for an iPhone. You do not understand because you don’t have one. Oh, I lived on cloud 99 for quite a few days being one of the few people to have an iPhone. As I walked through the airport, I proudly held my phone so everyone could see. Children cried to their parents that wanted one, businessmen glared as if I held a million dollars and employees looked tenderly as if they would give their left arm to hold my baby. No dice my friend. Not this one, try another person because you aren’t special enough to even breathe on this phone. Finally, it’s boarding time. Of course, I flew coach because I had just spent every free penny on this wonderful creation. I swayed to the sweet melodies flowing in my eardrums. Finally, the close the door and the announcements start. The Stewardess makes the routine announcement and adds a special line. “For those who just bought an iPhone, please remember to put it in airplane mode.” Of course, all eyes are on me. I bring the screen close to my face just so they couldn’t see what buttons I pushed. After all, I thought I was holding the secrets to ending world hunger. The little airplane appears and we are off. Once, I got to L.A., I felt like a celebrity. Everyone is pointing to my phone and whispering. I swear I saw a few flashes going off. Who cares, I had on my D&G shades and apple ear buds in my ear. For the next 6 days, I showed my phone to every Tom, Dick, and Mary who would ask about it. I demonstrated each feature for them as if I was making a commission on the sales. Rodeo drive, I went into every high in store and the sales people swarmed. Of course, I had money. I had an iPhone. I got the royal treatment short of red carpets and rose petals laid at my feet. People were so nice. Strangers would move to the side so I could pass. Okay, that part never happened but it sure felt like it. Text, web, text, phone call, text, Google maps, text, look at an empty calendar, text, world time, text, YouTube, text, stocks (mind you I don’t a single stock), text, camera (forget the 8 mp camera in my pocket), text, pictures. Oh yes, I added 300 pictures just so I could flip through them and not get to the end. iPhone you are my very best friend. Until…a friend from NY calls. All of a sudden, the screen scrambles and I panic. How do you give CPR to an iPhone? Should I blow in the earphone jack? HELP, someone call 911. I’m literally frozen in my tracks. As my friends continue on walking carrying on conversations, I can focus. Where am I? LA? WHERE IS AN APPLE STORE? SOMEONE ANSWER ME. This is life of death…finally, the screen clears up after the phone stops ringing. I kept thinking, damn, of all people, I got a lemon. Another friend calls and everything is fine. We chat for a moment and I’m back to being okay. Well, the first friend calls again. SCRAMBLED SCREEN RETURNS. This can’t be good. I’m tired of sightseeing. I want to go back to the hotel and get online to research this problem. No, friends say stay. We’ll go to dinner then go to the apple store. They lied. We went back to the hotel. I immediately get online and find the support number. I want answers now! You cannot fix it remotely? Please do tell, after all, you are Apple. The gods who created this. You have to fix it. No dice. Take it to the store as they can help. Well, needless to say, I was back in DC before I made it to the store. After flying the red-eye cross-country, I get off the plane, rush to my truck, and go directly to the apple store. I get to the door and there is an employee there saying you can’t enter. I can’t what? You must be ready to feel the wrath of Naomi Campbell because I’m about to take this phone straight to the side of your head. I managed to string together enough words for him to understand that I already had the phone. I don’t want to be like those other people waiting in line just to touch it. I shove the phone under his nose, damn near crying, fix…please…fix…please…fix…. Finally he sends me back to the bar where they do all sorts of tests. No good, phone is dead…here …take a new one but you can’t use it until you activate it. My baby is dead. Bye, I’ll write…maybe… Nope, I won’t write. Why??? I have a brand new one to play with. So long, dummy, You just lost your best friend. I run out the store, stopping to thank the nice guy at the door and rush home to synchronize the new phone. Everything works well and for the 2 months, I am in heaven. Houston, we have a problem. PRICE DROP. Are you fucking kidding me? I spent 600 on a phone worth 400 and I only have to feel special for two damn months. Oh boy, Steve, you’ve just ruined the apple experience for me. I kept thinking, oh this is a mistake. A mass company lay-off needs to happen (read: What a cruel joke to play on the entire world. No, they are going to fire the whole company for this. I read every website, every blog all saying the same thing. Apple reached 1 million phones sold so now, they can drop the price. Dang, I was stupid but good ol’ Steve came to my rescue. He gave me $100 credit that I could only use in the apple store?!?!?? Fine, I took it gladly and rushed right over to the store to pick up a Bluetooth headset. I bought the Jawbone and a few other things only to give apple $100 more dollars on top of the certificate. No sooner than I connect the Bluetooth, the phone stops working. I push the screen nothing. I reset, nothing. I restore, nothing. The whole top half of the screen is dead. I take it to one store on my lunch break. The guy tells me, oh, you’ll have to make an appointment. I didn’t understand. I thought he said, I’d be glad to help you with your phone in just one moment. Therefore, I stand there and wait. and wait….and wait some more. I must have stood there a good 30 minutes, phone in my hand pleading for help. No luck. He finally looks over at me and says did you want to set that appointment now? I can squeeze you in at 8:30 pm tonight. You can do what? Squeeze me in???? Do you think that you are some magic worker that you have the power to squeeze me in? You didn’t squeeze me in while I waited 3 hours in line for the phone. You didn’t squeeze me in while I was in LA. No, you can’t squeeze me in but what you can do is march your short self over to the manager and send him my way. I won’t make a scene. I’ll even sit right here on this nice stool you so kindly provide. Thanks for your help Shorty, now get going. The manager comes over and asks if I need help. Of course I need help, why do you think he came over to you and pointed to me as the one requesting your golden presence. Did you think I wanted to invite you over for cocktails? YES, I NEED HELP! Phone, no work. ME, need help. Now. I get the standard apology and a half smile. I look around and see why everyone is so busy. The older couple is trying to learn how to use the internet. They must have asked 30,000 times how do they get to Google because everyone says that’s where they need to go to do a search. I wanted to grab their Mac book and throw it on the ground and do a jig on top of the broken pieces. Then there was the non-English speaking couple who flew from god knows where just to buy an iPhone. Why, it doesn’t work where you live! I can show you all the features while these two clowns figure out how to fix my phone but nothing. I got nothing but a sorry half smile and a please leave glance. You know what, FU all, I’m going to another store. As a matter of fact, I am going to the same store that helped me before. Well, I go. 45 minutes over my scheduled lunch break, I get to the other store. Guess what? Same story, we can’t help….make an appointment. We’ll I wasn’t leaving without a working phone. I swear I asked about 5 people for help until one guy hearing my sob story about missing an important conference call about a large contract sent me to whisper is this nice girl’s ear to please hard reset my phone. She helped me only to realize that the phone is dead. Touch screen just died. She said she’d be with me as soon as she finished helping these guys, clearly stoned out of their mind, return a macbook and keyboard. Why? Could you not afford music equipment so you by a Mac and a keyboard make a few songs and return it? I think it was all a swindle but who am I to judge? Finally, they finish after complaining for about 20 minutes that they didn’t want to receive a check from apple. So she runs in the back and out comes baby #3. Now she is fine as wine. No box, just a bubble envelope and a packing slips. Clearly refurbished but new to me so who cares. I take her back to work (yes I took my laptop to work just to do the activation sync again) and got this new phone up and running. Contacts, music, pictures all synchronized. I have to reset my email again but that’s okay. I’ve become a pro at setting it up so it took me no time. Now here I am, with an upgraded iPhone. Yes, I downloaded tunes through the Wi-Fi store. Of course, I had to use that feature. So in the end, I say to apple, thank you for creating the best phone in creation and thank you for ruining the last 3 months of my life. Now can you please drop the Mac mini price by $200 so I can become an official fan boy? PLEASE?!!?!? Everyone should have one……right? Isn’t that what you said about the iPhone? Try applying your marketing strategy across the board. I bet you an iPhone2 that this would become a Mac run world. But don’t worry, we’ll do this again, very soon as soon as you release the iPhone2! WAY TO GO APPLE. You’ve officially made a fool of me. XOXOXhad just purchased the 1st generation iphone.  this was my experience

The power of the physical
you want me to be your everything to have and to hold forever.
I want to be him, the one you love
the one you come home to every night
4 mind blowing sex in the middle of the night
stand above my head, magic stick in hand
we connect, u gently ease it to my lips
I grab hold like I’ll never have it again
you whisper baby I’m about to cum
don’t be a fool
you’ll never blind me by cumming in my eye.

just take a look

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i just saw that I can change the publish date. I’m going back to update all posts with the date! WOOT

Innocent as it may seem
I like you in a special way
able to accept the dual side
I want to dive deep inside
learn more about the Kam side
I want to know Angelique too
but she’ll appear at the right time. …..

I use to write on the train when I could get a seat. Write, read a book, music soothing my soul. My train life.

Here was one of my goals for the train writing: Write a poem for Kam.  Kam is a very special friend who i’ve shared some wonderful times in life.  When I first met him, we both had secrets.  We shared them that night.  That special night i’ll never forget.  I never finished this because life moved on.  I miss my friend. I hope to see him again.

Thank you for standing tall in the face of doubt. Thank you for always yanking my leash when I stray too far. No evil eists because you are God. No doubts are too hard to overcome. you are, always will and have always been my number 1 lover of my soul.

thank you times infinite

-signed from now 2 infinite i will always love you. – your soulchild. -f

how exciting!

i get 2 see you again in a new way

Can’t Take Any More

July 2, 2003

________:

You don’t trust me? Well, a man would have said this from the gate. Funny how you could trust me to casually shove my dick in your ass. Sorry this is raw, I didn’t want to us to end like this, but then again, from what you said, I have no choice. It’s soo funny that 3 years later, i would pratically write the same letter learning that love isn’t always the best thing when you are learning to love yourself.

1. Florida, Yes, I’m moving. Not until 2004. In a year, I dreamed that we could move there together. In my dreams, I wished you were different from the masses. Somehow unique. Sad to say that you’re like the rest. A unique mask you wore, glad you took it off when you did. Saves me from the heartache of another sour relationship. You need to leave New York. Not because of me but for your own good. You’ve been sucked into the NY Latino state of mind that you’re the victim. You aren’t. You are again one of the many. You are the root of your own drama. Point fingers at me. Doesn’t faze me. It rolls off my back like water off a ducks ass. Fuck me for having hopes and dreams. Fuck me for wishing better for you. Fuck me for thinking that if I pushed you (because you don’t seem to be pushing yourself) to succeed in life rather than living in the lower class. Fuck me for believing that I was never raised in the lower class and that (God willing) I will never have to. Fuck me for having parents who sacrificed their lives so I could have better in mine. I never asked you to accept me but rather enjoy me. Seems you’re bonded to lies and games and as I told the rest, I refuse to play along. Your reality is based on deceit. “I, who have nothing, am dying of HIV, still can’t see the better life that I’ve been pushed towards.” Poor ________. I feel for you shun. Damn, if you just wanted a good dick and no emotions, I could have provided. I’m a grown man. I’ve had fuck buddies. I know how to play the part when the role is clearly defined. Sorry, I got lost in the odorless smoke of your opening act. Glad you decided to let your play unfold and show me the tragedy of trying to love another man. See pa, when growing from a boy to a man, I learned to accept the things I cannot change and change the things I cannot accept. I thought you had made it this far in life, but reality says you haven’t. Sorry 4 u. Maybe in time it will come. I won’t be around to find out. Not because there is someone else but the truth is time wont allow me to waste my love on an empty soul.

2. I said I hadn’t been faithful in my past relationships EXCEPT the last. Funny how I said this two weeks ago and you stayed around. I can’t change my past. Don’t want to. I had maddd fun and I can’t complain about a damn thing. Even being positive hasn’t stopped me from living life as it should be lived. The one thing I have learned is to change my thinking for the future. Bottom line, you are exactly what I asked for. My lesson: BE MORE SPECIFIC! In growing, I’ve learned that I am hurt too by being unfaithful. Temporary moments of pleasure don’t bandage a bleeding heart nor does it bandage a broken relationship. Feel me?

3. You Gracefully accept my decision to discontinue our line of communication based on my marijuana habit? When did I say it had anything to do with weed? So fucking what I smoke weed. You’re family does too. But then again, I assume because they are your family, they are justified and I’m not. Simply, it’s my choice to do drugs. Every time I inhale, I consciously do that. Fuck man, be honest with yourself, even the president has puffed every now and again. So if you had a problem with me smoking, you could have bounced 3 weeks ago seeing how I told you from the jump. It was no secret. It was even in my profile when I met you. So don’t become brand new like you have a problem. We’ve even discussed this on a couple of occasions and you said you didn’t have a problem. I only once smoked around you and again I asked you if you minded and your answer was no. To cowardly say that my drug addiction is the reason why we will no longer share each other’s life seems like a cop out. Here we go again with the poor ________ line. Poor baby. Always a victim. Own up to your own shit. Shun, it stinks, when are you going to flush it??? I can function when I am high. Anyone who smokes will tell you the same thing. It’s all in how high you are. Funny how many people have said I had the best conversations and I was blazed out my mind. I never begged you to stay in an uncomfortable situation. I don’t understand how this is even an issue now.

4. Shallow? Because I want the guy I am sexually and mentally involved with to have a sheet of paper that means he can get a job making more than $8.00 an hour. Shyt ________ grow up. If that’s shallow then I’m guilty. I’ll be shallow for the rest of my life. I offered to help. I told you I would push you. Again you had an opportunity to go. You stayed and you still want to stay. I’m not stupid; I can read the road signs in front of me. Especially when it says dead end. Maybe, I shouldn’t have offered and fucked you like I use to fuck my fuck buddy. Great sex, no mental involvement. Dammn shorty, at least with him I didn’t involve my heart. It easy to bang someone when you are only thinking with the head below your waist. Its hard when you believe in something that wasn’t there. How’s that for shallow. Think about yourself before you place blame because that’s exactly what you wanted from me. Maybe you feel differently…but in 2003 actions speak louder than words.

5. Superficial and materialistic. Yeah I am. Who wouldn’t be when you can afford more? You’ve never seen a millionaire rocking K Mart baby. It just doesn’t happen. I work hard so I can play hard and dress with a label plastered to my ass. However, Mr. ________, I am humble. I know from whom my help comes from. I am grateful to every person who has sacrificed for me. Especially my family. They have supported me from A to Z and no one can take that from me. I can only play with the cards I am dealt. I guess I’m superficial to realize that I’m holding the winning hand and will play my hand accordingly. Born with a silver spoon. Maybe…am I supposed to be ashamed that my family struggled for better then a minimum wage job and government assistance? I say this to you. I am not perfect. Nor am I rich. But I do use what I have wisely and am proud of what I am. Call it what you want… but I’m living happily and well. I don’t want for food or shelter nor do I want for the clothes on my back. I’ve done these things. And I will help anyone I am with achieve the same. Too bad you don’t realize it when its starring you in your face.

6. I am full of myself. Wouldn’t you be? Outside of the physical pleasures I can deliver, I have a mind. And I am inclined to use it. Amazingly you said the same, but every time you say you have a secret and I asked you what it was, you wanted me to come to your house for a fuck session. Sorry. Wont happen here. Why do you think I didn’t come over? Because I was fucking someone else? Think again, I knew your game before you could make your second move. I’ve been there. Done that. Fuck, can I get some credit based on experience. I’m not dead. I live and breathe like everyone else. I have pride. YES, I’m proud to be me. Positive, gay, black and all. I have no shame in who I am. You shouldn’t either. But you are too scared to accept yourself for who you really are. Young and stupid. Grow up baby; you’re no longer in the little league. You’re playing with men now and you wonder why you keep striking out with love. Holier than thou. Hell yeah, because I can accept my defeats and learn from my mistakes. Learn that life isn’t all peaches and cream. Learn that there is always good with the bad. Learn that when its spoiled, you are the only one who can decide when to spit it out.

7. Just as my family struggled, I too struggle. Every morning when I wake up I wonder if it’s the day I am going to get fired. Not because I can’t do my job but just for the hell of it. Struggle with the fact that every time I take my medication, I am fighting an internal battle that I have no control over. Struggle with the fact that the one guy I truly hoped was different from the rest just showed that he resides in gutters with the masses. Sacrifice, everyone makes a sacrifice. Its up to you to decide how much you will give up in Life. I wont let anyone take too much because then I will have nothing and I will become nothing and that’s just not a possibility for me. Wake up. You are at the green light with your break lights on while life is moving through the intersection. Get it together. I’ve had enough of this sob story.

I hope that you get yourself together. Physically and mentally. Take care of you shun, the world is cruel. I’ve done my part and now I release you. I hope you are strong enough to defend you. I can’t take care of you and me. I’m just not that strong. Makes me weak? No makes me smart. Smart enough to know that if I have my shit on point that when you need me the most I can be there for you. Run free, Mister ________ . Be safe and most of all, learn everything you can because it is your only true freedom. I am ready for love… you have to decide when you are too. Surely you jest if you think you are.

Enjoy!

One

Red Eyed Poz Kat

found this tid-bit from the same website. I remember smoking and trying to be creative. This was my soul crying out for love to love me.  Little did I know the path I was about to embark.