Io, Spaghettovolante, nei favolosi anni '70. All'età di 6 anni.

Su La Repubblica del 10 novembre era presente un inserto Salute dedicato all’omeopatia e ad altre terapie alternative complementari. Premetto che non l’ho letto perché non ho comprato il giornale e perché sono troppo pigro per andare in emeroteca, ma indizi del contenuto si possono trovare anche sul sito del quotidiano.

http://ricerca.repubblica.it/repubblica?query=omeopatia&view=archivio

che infatti restituisce questo risultato:

Omeopatia & Co. dove la medicina complementare può funzionare (10 novembre 2009, pag. 29, sezione: SALUTE)

noto poi due trafiletti tra il tragico e il patetico che lodano l’uso dell’omeopatia come coadiuvante delle terapie tradizionali e del vaccino per l’influenza A.

Ne riporto uno, per intero, perché contiene un riferimento preciso a un prodotto di cui parlerò nel sermone seguente (che a questo punto si imponeva).

da http://ricerca.repubblica.it/repubblica/archivio/repubblica/2009/11/10/omeopatia-prevezione-dell-influenza-insufficienza-renale.html

Mara Zuri e-mail Assumere oscillococcinum per prevenire l’ influenza e nella fase acuta, può avere controindicazioni con un’ insufficienza renale modesta? â-DOTT. ELIO ROSSI Responsabile Ambulatorio Omeopatia Asl 2, Lucca Non esiste a mio parere nessuna controindicazione all’ uso di Oscillococcinum, in una persona affetta da insufficienza renale modesta, naturalmente alle dosi e con le modalità abitualmente consigliate. Mi pare, anzi, che non sovraccaricare il rene usando medicinali omeopatici in alta diluizione, quando possibile, sia una dimostrazione di molto buon senso. - A CURA DI ELVIRA NASELLI

Il titolo del sermone enfatizza il fatto che ogni volta che si dice la verità sull’omeopatia (e per verità intendo carta canta), si viene immediatamente bollati come servi delle multinazionali, oscurantisti, fascisti e chi più ne ha più ne metta.

Ma come pastafariano, io mi devo preoccupare solo di seguire i Condimenti. So che lassù un vulcano di birra mi attende accanto a una fabbrica di spogliarelliste.

Posso tranquillamente fare questo lavoro sporco, che per di più è abbastanza divertente.

Cominciamo

Dunque dunque dunque…qual’è il modo più diplomatico con cui posso definire l’omeopatia?

Pseudoscienza?

Truffa?

Fantamedicina?

Medicina voodoo?

o semplicemente incommensurabile stronzata baggianata?

Sia come sia, occorre fare un pochino di chiarezza: l’omeopatia non è (come alcuni pensano) il curarsi con le erbe. In realtà, anche quando prendete un’aspirina vi state curando con le erbe, e moltissimi farmaci contengono principi attivi scoperti nel mondo vegetale, ma senza voler essere troppo pigna in culo, diciamo che curarsi con le erbe vuol dire sfruttare un principio attivo che non sia di sintesi, cioè che sia estratto direttamente da una parte della pianta, o utilizzando la pianta stessa.

L’omeopatia è invece prendere una certa sostanza e diluirla. Poi diluirla ancora. E ancora. E ancora. Ma il passaggio più cruciale di tutta la lavorazione è la dinamizzazione, che è un modo figo per dire che le fiale devono essere agitate ben bene. Il “medico” tedesco Samuel Hahnemann che fondò l’omeopatia determinò una scala della diluizione: una diluizione 2C si ottiene prendendo la sostanza e diluendola in 100 parti di acqua, poi da questa diluizione viene prelevata una dose e la si diluisce ulteriormente in 100 parti di acqua. A questo punto avrete la quantità di sostanza di partenza diluita in 10.000 parti di acqua.

Ma per un omeopata una potenza 2C è una sciocchezzuola, infatti un “rimedio” omeopatico comune, l’Oscillococcinum (TA-DA! Ricordate il trafiletto?), ha una potenza 200c, cioè ci sarebbe una parte di sostanza in 100²⁰⁰ parti di acqua. Il condizionale è dovuto al fatto che alla fine della diluizione nella vostra fialetta non ci sarà nemmeno una molecola. Lo dice una elementare costante della chimica, cioè il numero di Avogadro.

da http://www.cicap.org/new/articolo.php?%20id=100040

Ora si sa che una grammomolecola di qualunque sostanza contiene un numero di Avogadro N di molecole, pari a 6.022 . 10²³

E’ facile fare qualche calcolo; consideriamo per semplicità una sostanza con peso molecolare pari a 100 (per es. CaCO₃). Un grammo di essa in 100 mL di soluzione, quindi alla 1CH ) contiene 6.022 x 10²¹ molecole. Una diluizione 2CH conterrà 10^-2 grammi e 6.022 . 10¹⁹ molecole. Una diluizione 11CH conterrà 10^-20 grammi e 6.022 x 10 molecole. Una diluizione 12CH (attenzione!) conterrà 10^-22 grammi e 0.6022 molecole. Nei 100 mL non resta nemmeno una molecola. Se ora si continua (fino alla 30C e oltre) si diluirà dell’acqua con altra acqua.

Per fortuna che c’è la dinamizzazione (o energizzazione): cioè il passaggio in cui si le fiale vengono agitate. Hahnemann, vissuto prima che il numero di Avogadro venisse accettato, pensava che questo passaggio servisse ad attivare l’ “energia vitale” della sostanza. Ora, i ricercatori Gyro Gearloose e Ludwig von Drake della Duckburg University*, hanno concluso che invece la dinamizazzione sia fondamentale per la attivare la “memoria dell’acqua”: l’acqua mantiene il “ricordo” della sostanza che vi viene disciolta dentro (e che alla fine del ciclo di diluizioni scompare).

Fu Jacques Benveniste a proporre questa soluzione (haha) per aggirare la costante di Avogadro in un suo studio pubblicato su Nature.

Ebbene si, Nature ha pubblicato uno studio dove si afferma l’efficacia dell’omeopatia. Il fatto viene ovviamente sbandierato a destra e a manca su ogni sito pro- voodoo omeopatia

Quello che dimenticano di riportare, è la storia per intero: l’editor di Nature John Maddox acconsentì alla pubblicazione dopo aver concordato che sarebbe stato possibile costituire una commissione ad hoc per indagare sull’esperimento di Benveniste, e quindi fugare ogni dubbio sulla sua validità.

Non solo Benveniste venne in seguito all’indagine sbugiardato senza possibilità di appello (tutto venne documentato accuratamente), ma spuntarono inequivocabili indizi che si fosse cercato di mettere a segno una vera e propria FRODE. Ma il team di Jacques aveva fatto i conti senza l’oste: James Randi. A questo link è riassunta la vicenda, una lettura estremamente interessante.

http://www.brainmindlife.org/benveniste.htm

Qui un documentario, purtroppo in inglese, ricostruisce l’indagine del team di Maddox e testa (di nuovo) l’omeopatia.

Mi spiace, ma non ho finito.

E’ certo che nella vostra fiala non c’è assolutamente nulla della sostanza di partenza, c’è semplicemente un po’ d’acqua e talvolta alcol e/o zucchero, ma questa sostanza di partenza che cos’era? Conteneva un principio attivo degno di questo nome?

No.

Hahnemann riteneva che le malattie si potessero curare seguendo la “legge dei simili”. Per curare un malato, bisognava somministrare una sostanza che normalmente induceva i sintomi tipici di quella patologia, ovviamente diluita. Se volete curare l’influenza, dovete dare al malato una sostanza che provoca sintomi influenzali. L’assonanza col vaccino è solo apparente, questa legge dei simili è totalmente campata in aria.

Prendiamo un farmaco medicinale rimedio omeopatico, a caso: l’Oscillococcinum (dove ho già letto questo nome? Ah si, su La Repubblica. Vedi sopra), popolarissimo rimedio per i sintomi influenzali.

La sua storia è tragicamente comica (link). Un medico francese, Joseph Roy, si trovò suo malgrado nel bel mezzo della più grave pandemia dei tempi moderni, cioè l’Influenza Spagnola, che devastò il mondo facendo più vittime della I Guerra Mondiale che si stava svolgendo (per la serie, le sfighe non vengono mai sole).

Analizzando il sangue dei malati, Roy vide al microscopio un batterio “vibrante” a cui diede il nome di Oscillococcus. Roy ritenne poi di aver trovato lo stesso batterio in persone affette da altre patologie, concludendo infine che l’infame batterio causava una varietà di malattie che andavano dal cancro, agli orecchioni, ai reumatismi. Volendo usare il batterio per farne una specie di vaccino che dopo neanche avevamo il mal di denti, Roy si mise a cercare, finché non trovò quello che cercava nel fegato e nel cuore della dolcissima (e tenerissima) Anatra muschiata (Cairina moschata)

"cresci bene che ripasso" disse l'omeopata

Il “principio attivo” (notare virgolette) è quindi sostanzialmente carne frollata di anatide, ma è molto più cool dire che si tratta di Anas Barbariae Hepatis et Cordis Extractum (le convenzioni della sistematica dei viventi sono un optional per l’omeopatia).

Quanto costa una confezione di pillole di Oscillococcinum, vale a dire palline di zucchero miracolosamente bagnate da acqua con la memoria dell’estratto di carne di una specie di anatra, dove un medico negli anni 20 credette di vedere al microscopio ottico in grande quantità un batterio vibrante, la cui esistenza non è stata mai confermata da nessun batteriologo?

Se E-bay, compresa spedizione, poco meno di una trentina di euro.

Concludo con il lavoro sporco embeddando un geniale sketch del duo Mitchell & Webb, dal loro show That Mitchell and Webb Look, già proposto in un altro sermone.

RAmen

*con mille scuse a Carl (inchino) Barks

En 1979, el mago profesional James Randi, se ofreció a participar como consejero en diversas investigaciones y experimentos que pretendían estudiar y comprobar la existencia de lo paranormal, lo oculto, la parapsicología y poderes extraordinarios de la mente.

Randi, según cuenta, fue rechazado bajo explicaciones de que la ciencia es lo suficiente lúcida, sistemática y certera como para requerir de magos e ilusionistas prejuiciados en contra de los psíquicos y videntes, los sujetos de la investigación, además de enfatizar que la “objetividad científica” es a prueba de engaños.

Concretamente, James Randi había intentado participar en el Proyecto Alfa, patrocinado por la Universidad de Washington, subsidiado con 500,000 dólares por la corporación McDonnell Douglas, contratista de defensa norteamericana, que dio su apoyo al físico Peter Phillips para determinar la existencia de poderes como la telequinesia y la telepatía.

Randi había sugerido por escrito a los científicos, que la presencia de un mago profesional garantizaba que los sujetos estudiados: psíquicos, telépatas, curanderos, etc., no serían capaz de engañar a los científicos con sus trucos.

Al denegársele admisión al Proyecto Alfa, y ver que era prácticamente imposible persuadir al físico Peter Phillip, Randi decidió cruzar la frontera y tenderle una prueba, y para ello reclutó a dos jóvenes magos que se harían pasar como voluntarios con “poderes psíquicos”. Lo absurdo, es que Randi simultáneamente envió información a Phillip, sobre la falsedad de los magos, pero el físico ni siquiera revisó los antecedentes de los candidatos.

Randi, con anterioridad había entrenado a los dos jóvenes magos en la ejecución de diversos trucos de telequinesia, particularmente el doblado de metales al estilo Uri Geller, y les indicó que en caso de que los científicos les preguntaran si estos estaban utilizando trucos o que si eran falsos psíquicos, los magos deberían confesar toda la trama.

Lo increíble de esta aventura es que se prolongó por 21 meses, hasta 1981; al finalizar la investigación científica con una gran ceremonia pública, los magos confesaron frente a los medios todo el fraude. La revista Discover publicó el artículo escrito por Randi. De esta manera, Randi y sus colaboradores, demostraron la fragilidad del método científico y lo fácil de engañar a las mentes entrenadas en lógica, física y matemáticas con la simple manipulación psicológica y perceptiva de los trucos de magia.

Los científicos quedaron evidenciados en su arrogancia cognitiva y la charlatanería se confirmó como una peligroso técnica para engañar hasta la inteligencia más sofisticada y académica. A partir de este engaño/desengaño, la parapsicología quedó completamente desacreditada y muchas carreras arruinadas.

Say, have you people ever heard of that awesome television series: Firefly? You have? Good for you. Did you hear about the truly revolutionary Film based on the TV Series called “Serenity”? You have? Well Okay then. Finally, do you people think Firefly-Serenity was promoted enough? As if, in this point in time, F-S was so underpromoted that the whole franchise really didn’t get the chance it deserved?

If you believe in that crap, then you’re reading the wrong blog post.

The whole F-S cycle is the most overrated excuse for a franchise that has ever been concieved. I avoided the whole thing just based on the hype alone. Then, when I got a chance to watch the whole Firefly series on Hulu, I found out the hard way what a big pile of excrement this thing really was.

My points of contention with the franchise:

1. The Never-ending puke river of Nihilism that permeates the series
2. The Vacuous Backstory
3. The Fake “Realism”
   

First off, the Nihilism. Really? Nihilism? Did I just say that this franchise was nihilistic? You better believe that this franchise is nihilistic. The people behind F-S really go that extra mile to deliver that cheap shot to the cojones type of nihilism I’ve come to despise in things outside of F-S. F-S wears it’s nihilism on it’s sleeve, tattoos it’s chest with it, and drops it’s pants and moons you with it every step of the way.

That nihilism extends to the characters of the franchise also. I’m talking about The Protagonists here. These people are impossible to root for even as Anti-Heroes. Oh Sure, these people engage in light-hearted banter that makes them tolerable for awhile. But on the things that count, these guys are detestable vermin no sane person would want at their side.

As for the Alliance, they really never get enough screen time to evoke any impressions beyond superficial ones, which leads us to the next issue….

F-S has no real backstory! There, I’ve said it. I feel that a great weight has been lifted off of me now that I’ve come to terms with the fact that no back story actually exists for F-S. It would actually violate the creators’ hard-line stance on nihilism to have a backstory of any substance. Oh yeah, there’s the whole “Alliance vs Independents” thing. But that’s only a pretext for this series, NOT A REAL STORY.

The Alliance doesn’t work as a fictional entity because they are depicted in two contradictory ways:

1. As a monolithic “Evil Empire”
2. As a bunch of hapless dipsticks that are convenient victims for Reavers and more mundane forms of piracy.
   

The mention of Alliance personnel as “Hapless dipsticks that are convenient victims for Reavers” sets up my final point: The Fake “Realism”

Ah Yes, if there’s anything that can raise my hackles beyond the Nihilism and Zero-Story content of Firefly-Serenity, it’s the whole attitude towards “telling it like it is”-style arrogance of the show’s creators and it’s fans.

Ok, I’m up for another round of that neverending, stupid debate on “Realism in Science Fiction”. Actually, I’m not. Not because I’m against realism per se, but because I’ll get bogged down in the stupid postmoderism of the show’s creators and fans.

What I’m going to to is to cite 2 examples of the stupidity of this series where it utterly fails by any standard of realism

First example, In the Jaynestown episode, We have a character that is introduced as an archenemy of Jayne Cobb, Stitch Hessian. We first see this character when he is released from a POW-style sweatbox AFTER FOUR YEARS.

He is healthy, whole, and ready to kick ass right out of the box without any kind of REHABILITATION OR MEDICAL CARE WHATSOEVER.

Even by sci-fi standards, this is unforgivably stupid. Boxes like the one Stitch was in are DESIGNED TO BREAK PEOPLE. But by some miracle, the detestable planetary overlord managed to care for a man(who tried to rob him!) in less than ideal conditions. There’s not even any cheap MacGuffin-Medicine included in the plotline to deal with all of this. This story was written by morons, for morons.

Even by postmodern standards, a hellhole POW-style sweatbox does not work wonders for ones’ health. The Firefly series is full of stupid stuff like this.

Now that I’ve handled the physical reality that F-S operates under, it’s time to confront the bogus behavior and fake backstory of Firefly.

Bushwacked is an episode that features two very different antagonists to the Serenity crew. The Reavers and the Alliance. There is only one actual Reaver depicted in the episode. How a person becomes a Reaver is subject to debate(at least, until they introduced that stupid retcon in the Serenity movie which I have not seen, but read about).

Retcons aside, The role the alliance plays here is that of “bunch of victims for the newly minted Reaver”. The F-S franchise has trouble deciding if the alliance constitutes “an Evil Empire” or “a bunch a victims” because of the grossly nihilistic attitudes of the F-S productions.

Yes, here we go with the nihilism again. But in this circumstance, it backfires. There is less exposition given to the creation of the Reavers than there is to the creatures in a third-rate zombie movie. The Firefly-Serenity series is so nihilistic that the very idea of storytelling is an exercise in pointless stupidity.

All that’s left here, when you look carefully at it, is a stupid “Vietnam Trip-wire Veteran” story combined with the imagery of the Hellraiser movies.

It fails to entertain, or enlighten, or anything else positive. Nor was it ever intended to.

Ok, so you’re asking: “What was it intended for?” Here’s your answer: To intimidate, to humiliate, and to keep you off balance.

Apparently, you people in the audience out there are a bunch of grain-fed Sheeple who need to get kicked in the ass at every opportunity. Yes, the creators of the Firefly series and the Serenity movie have total contempt for their audience. In this episode, they throw around blood and guts in a vain effort to get people to take them and the show seriously.

Now that I’ve covered all of that unreality, it’s time to confront the heavy-handed moralizing that also constitutes the “realism” of the F-S franchise.

In the closing minutes of the “Jaynestown” episode, we’re treated to a conversation between Mal Reynolds and Jayne Cobb:

Jayne Cobb: Don’t make no sense… What, Why the hell that muther have to go and do that for Mal? jumping in front of that shotgun blast. Hell, there weren’t a one of them that understood what happened out there, that(sic) probably sticking that statue right back up.

Mal Reynolds: Most like(ly)

JC: I don’t know why it eats at me so

MR: It’s my estimation that every man who ever got a statue made of him was one kind sumbitch or another. It ain’t about you Jayne, it’s about what they need.

JC: Don’t make no sense.

This exchange is so out-of-character with the previous behavior of the characters that it sticks out like a sore thumb. They really don’t seem like the type of people who would be concerned about the fate of a bunch of strangers. In the final analysis, this scene was contrived to make a cheap, nihilistic point about how all people who get statues made in their likeness are total bastards. WHICH FLAT-OUT CONTRADICTS JAYNE COBB’S INTROSPECTION AT THE END OF THIS EPISODE.

How did a Nihilistic, Brain-dead, cheap-shot infested series like Firefly ever get a huge fanbase? I used to think that the “Fans” were mere astroturfers. However, the truth is more vile than even I could have imagined.

What I am about to suggest is so bizarre, that even I have trouble believing it. But it rings true

James Randi(AKA The Amazing Randi) wrote on page 99 of his 1989 book: The Faith Healers

(Joseph)Barnhart suggested a scenario that I have come to accept–though with some difficulty–because it satisfies all the evidence and it has been confirmed by my subsequent investigations.

He contends that the faith-healing service functions as a significant drama for those who attend. This explains their willingness to believe what others see as obvious delusions. He says we cannot divide the participants into “audience” and “Performers.” The entire auditoriium becomes a huge stage, with both the preachers and the believers taking part in the drama. A careful observer notices that almost everything in the drama leads up to the climax, the long-anticipated healing scene. It is a ritual of major magical importance to the participants.

Barnhart points out that the afflicted person wants to get close to this magic. By pretending–earnestly–and by refusing to entertain any doubt, on his or her part or on behalf of another, the subject maintains and reinforces the myth that all of the actors have agreed to believe in, for their own reasons. The faith-healing service is a sort of mutually accepted morality play that is participated in without doubt or hesitation, for fear of breaking the spell.

The above gimmick is used in other fields besides faith-healing. While the average Firefly-Serenity “fan” believes themselves superior to your average inbred faith-healer, they engage in exactly the same techniques and attitude depicted in the Randi book excerpt.

Stripped of all religious-healing influences, The Fake Audience Trick consists of:

• A general “reality is made by FAKING SHIT REALLY HARD” attitude.
• Shouting down any criticism.
• Presenting yourself as more: Serious, Hardcore, Spiritual, Moral , Ect. than anyone else.
• Presenting the subject matter as more :Serious, Hardcore, Spiritual, Moral, Ect. than anything else in the field.
• hanging on the the absurd belief that something positive can come from all of this stupidity.
  

This is the foundation of all religion, politics, publicly-traded companies, pyramid schemes, marketing, and Firefly-Serenity Fandom.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot to mention an important part of the trick:

• Make up excuses (or scapegoats) to explain away your failures.(Which there will be a lot of)

Firefly Fans have as their scapegoat-excuse: “Firefly-Serenity wasn’t promoted enough”. This is inaccurate. Firefly(and Serenity) was promoted, stoked up, hyped, and finally shoved in the face of a public that didn’t want anything to do with it.

More than one person has commented on the messed-up, retarded, abrasive and painful nature of witnessing Firefly fandom. Outlaw Vern commented on Firefly fandom in his review of the Serenity movie:

I consider myself a brave man but more than once I found myself eyeing the fire exit. I was planning my escape and it wouldn’t have been a daring one like in the movie, it would’ve been more like when Old Dirty Bastard fled the hospital without checking out.

Inside the theater was worse. There was a singalong of a folk song about the characters. There was people trying to talk in space cowboy talk.

Ho boy, this isn’t like Trek or Wars fandom. This is entirely different. They seem to be trying too hard. Vern has encountered some weirdos in his time.(See his Chaos(2005) DVD review). But he seemed genuinely scared at the Serenity viewing.

This all seems like a Viral Marketing project that mutated into a cult.(Think “Xenu” but without the laughs)

How did all of this come about? I’ve got a pretty good idea, but you’ll have to take my notions about nihilism and the 1990s-2000s seriously to understand it.

To understand Firefly fandom you have to go back to the 1990s, The Nihilistic Nineties. Did I mention that I hated the 1990s?(and to a lesser extent, the 2000s). If I didn’t, let me state right here: I HATED THE 1990S. I hate the 90s so much, I won’t bother to explain why. Instead, I’ll let Greg Stacy, of the OC Weekly, articulate his attitude toward the 1990s, which happens to coincide with mine:

Besides, that’s a time most of us are happy to forget. Who the hell gets nostalgic for the LA riots, grunge or O.J. hysteria? It was one of the most volatile yet paradoxically least interesting times in our nation’s history. I remember long nights searching the radio for anything listenable; eventually I’d grow so bored with the rap and metal I’d end up stuck with Art Bell’s loony conspiracy theories. It’s an experience (GTA)San Andreas re-creates with depressing accuracy, right down to a so-so Art Bell parody.

–Pop! Culture
Getting lost on the streets of San Andreas, December 23, 2004

That rhetorical question about “Who the hell gets nostalgic for the LA riots, grunge or O.J. hysteria?” has to be answered here. Since this is a blog post about Firefly-Serenity and its fans, the answer should be obvious. F-S fans are vile, nihilistic types who think that the planet Earth reached cultural Satori in the period between The LA Riots and the publication of the novel Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk in 1996.

But the influence nowadays on F-S fandom isn’t so much “Tyler Durden” anymore but “The Joker from the movie The Dark Knight (2008)”. Just like The Joker only wanted to burn the world, so do the F-S fans want to burn the very idea of fandom. Having failed in their putrid efforts to astroturf the success of the whole Firefly-Serenity cycle, they are going to make lots of noise and burn the internet with their behavior.

Worse, these clowns manage to get the whole F-S franchise attention it doesn’t really deserve.

But let’s get back to the substance of the Firefly series and the Serenity movie. Oh that’s right, THERE IS NO SUBSTANCE IN THE F-S FRANCHISE.

Ironically, The Evil Megacorporation depicted in the Alien Movies has a sunnier take on humanity than the protagonists of Firefly. The white-hot nihilism of the 1990s has turned into the cold ashes of the 2Ks. With the approach of the new decade, I’m going to do everything I can to burn the nihilists. I’m going it alone, and no hypester is going to have any fun in the future. Most importantly, “Hardcore” is going to be the joke of the 2010s.

Humans… yup they are using dowsing to detect bombs BOOM hahah

—————–8<————
A British company called ATSC is selling a device which can detect guns, ammunition, bombs, drugs, contraband ivory – and truffles. The ADE651 uses “electrostatic magnetic ion attraction” and can detect these things from a kilometre away, through walls, under the ground, under water or even from an aeroplane three miles overhead.

—
General Jabiri challenged a New York Times reporter to test the ADE651, placing a grenade and a machine pistol in plain view in his office. Every time a policeman used it, the wand pointed at the explosives. Every time the reporter used the device, it failed to detect anything.

“You need more training,” said the general.
More
—————>8————-

Bonus: James Randi

There probably is not a sentence adequately dexterous to both excuse and explain my absence for the last seven months.

Was I off in an undisclosed location working on the cure for the Lazy Eye while teams of international terrorists swept down upon me one after the other? (Spoiler alert: that’s the next season of ‘24’)

Was I down in gutters with a mad old soldier, telling tales of brothers in arms?

Was I playing my guitar until my fingers bled like some drawn-out, lame stereotype from 34.6% of every third tier power ballad ever written?

Was I learning how to love you like only a hot Latina can?
No, I was not. Well, I did have this thing happen where two of my fingers bled, but my wife has since instructed me not to perform dentistry on the cats…and the cat is Latina, so there’s that.

But I can tell you where I will be.

I have become a humor contributor for the James Randi Educational Foundation – a site which is currently boisterously unfunny (but on purpose). This is an organization that is near to my intellectual interests and my heart, so being asked to write for them is very, very delicious.

The JREF is a registered non-profit organization trying to flood a little logic and skepticism into the belly of a fine assortment of human persons who are making the world harder to live in by playing fast and loose with pesky little things like facts, science and reality. My regular readers (all 2.3 of you) will know that this is already a very big interest of mine.

They also get an ass load of traffic as such things are measured in my neck of the woods.

Ironically, the second reason that I’m posting this here is because I will be writing a lot more, and some of that will not be a fit for the folks at JREF – when that happen I will be posting here as well as any other crap that slides out of my face and onto my keyboard.

As a result, I will probably be here more, as well as posting at JREF.

If you were a fan of what I did here (and how likely is that?), you will be a fan of what I will be doing there; I was specifically (and very generously) directed not to change what I do.

My first column for the Foundation is HERE. I’ll post additional linkage when others go up.

Now bugger off.

There probably is not a sentence adequately dexterous to both excuse and explain my absence for the last seven months.

Was I off in an undisclosed location working on the cure for the Lazy Eye while teams of international terrorists swept down upon me one after the other? (Spoiler alert: that’s the next season of ‘24’)

Was I down in gutters with a mad old soldier, telling tales of brothers in arms?

Was I playing my guitar until my fingers bled like some drawn-out, lame stereotype from 34.6% of every third tier power ballad ever written?

Was I learning how to love you like only a hot Latina can?
No, I was not. Well, I did have this thing happen where two of my fingers bled, but my wife has since instructed me not to perform dentistry on the cats…and the cat is Latina, so there’s that.

But I can tell you where I will be.

I have become a humor contributor for the James Randi Educational Foundation – a site which is currently boisterously unfunny (but on purpose). This is an organization that is near to my intellectual interests and my heart, so being asked to write for them is very, very delicious.

The JREF is a registered non-profit organization trying to flood a little logic and skepticism into the belly of a fine assortment of human persons who are making the world harder to live in by playing fast and loose with pesky little things like facts, science and reality. My regular readers (all 2.3 of you) will know that this is already a very big interest of mine.

They also get an ass load of traffic as such things are measured in my neck of the woods.

Ironically, the second reason that I’m posting this here is because I will be writing a lot more, and some of that will not be a fit for the folks at JREF – when that happen I will be posting here as well as any other crap that slides out of my face and onto my keyboard.

As a result, I will probably be here more, as well as posting at JREF.

If you were a fan of what I did here (and how likely is that?), you will be a fan of what I will be doing there; I was specifically (and very generously) directed not to change what I do.

My first column for the Foundation is HERE. I’ll post additional linkage when others go up.

Now bugger off.

Obviously the police is lacking education and IQ if they run after some nutters ghost story.
£20,000 of taxpayers money thrown out of the window.

Two options with psychics.
1 Insane
2 Criminally insane

Wild Woo chase
——————8<———–
A police force has defended spending £20,000 investigating a man’s death after his ghost was said to have told psychics that gangsters had forced him to drink petrol and bleach.

Carlos Assaf, 32, a baker, was found dead at his flat in Lampeter, west Wales, after a row with his girlfriend, Louise Edwards, 23, on 30 March.

An inquest this week recorded a verdict of suicide after hearing there was no evidence of foul play. However the coroner, Peter Brunton, queried the murder inquiry held after mediums tipped off police, suggesting that the words “lion, a horse and a man called Tony Fox” were significant. “There was a great deal of communication between the mediums and the police,” he said. “A great deal of effort was expended in following these leads up.”

At the Red Lion in Pembrey, a staff member recalled the police visit. “They wanted to know if this bloke had ever come in here or if he had worked here. They asked about other Red Lions in the area. It is difficult with the clairvoyant really, it is not something you could dismiss without checking what they said was possible.”

A police source said: “We are becoming a laughing stock. We went haring across the country looking for a lion, a horse and someone called Fox based on info from cranks. Not surprisingly, it turned out to be a wild goose chase which cost at least £20,000 in time and resources.“

More
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Bonus

Funny

Seeing as tomorrow (Nov 9th) would have been Carl Sagan’s 75th birthday, Broward College in Davie, Florida is hosting the first ever Carl Sagan Day. Speakers include Phil Plait, the “Bad Astonomer Blog”, “The Amazing” James Randi, David Morrison, senior scientist at the NASA Astrobiology Institute and the NASA Ames Research Center, Moffett Field, CA (via satellite) and others.

For a complete listing of event details visit the Carl Sagan Day website.

The following video is the historical overview of James Randi’s involvement in Project Alpha, in which two fake psychics, Steve Shaw (known as Banachek) and Michael Edwards, were planted in a scientific paranormal research project used to evaluate the validity of psychic powers. The hoax was eventually used as the basis for strengthening the scientific methods and criteria used in evaluating paranormal and supernatural phenomenon.

From YouTube:

Project Alpha was a famous hoax orchestrated by famous magician and skeptic James Randi. It involved the “planting” of two fake psychics, Steve Shaw and Michael Edwards, into a paranormal research project who became convinced the pair’s psychic powers were real. The hoax was later revealed publically, leading to a backlash against the entire paranormal field. This is an interview with the men involved.

Cuando vemos un video en internet o en la tele donde una persona presenta un poder paranormal, creo que lo mejor es considerar lo siguiente:

- ¿Es algo que algún mago es capaz de hacer?

Si la respuesta es positiva, entonces quizás no hay mucho de lo cual sorprenderse.

Si uno ve un video presentando la habilidad de una psíquica, va a ser distinto que ver un video de un mago, por más que el truco y los resultados sean los mismos. Es decir, nuestra interpretación inicial es distinta, porque adoptamos inicialmente una determinada postura ante el hecho.

No soy mago, y no soy muy bueno detectando y descifrando como hacen sus trucos: siempre me engañan. Asi que, no sabría decir como un psíquico puede hacer mover un objeto sin sus manos, pero puedo decir que he visto a muchos magos hacer cosas iguales o mejores. Algunos trucos que se me ocurren son: imanes, sogas, soplar, inclinar la mesa o mover el recipiente y no el objeto. Seguro hay muchos, muchos otros.

Como dije, no soy un mago, pero si soy un ingeniero, y puedo decir que, desde el punto de vista de la física, mover objetos usando el cerebro es prácticamente imposible (sostengo que nada es imposible). Desde el punto de vista de la biología, hay que considerar lo siguiente: todos los sentidos que uno tiene vienen evolucionando hace millones de años, y hay animales con sentidos menos desarrollados o que cumplen una función distinta, o incluso, con más sentidos. Ojos para ver, garganta y boca para hablar, oídos para escuchar y brazos para mover cosas. ¿Donde está nuestro órgano dedicado a la telequinesis?

1) No hay mecanismo para que la telequinesis exista ni por el lado de la física ni por el de la biología.

2) A pesar de esto (siempre se puede tener un fenómeno que no se entiende por qué ocurre), tampoco hay evidencia concreta de gente moviendo cosas sin tocarlas, solo videos o anécdotas.

Mecanismos de acción

Dije que no hay mecanismo por el cual la telequinesis podría funcionar. Quiero explicar bien por qué digo esto. Quienes creen (o no saben si creer o no) en las capacidades telequineticas exponen, básicamente, dos nociones distintas. Una es simplemente la creencia en una capacidad mágica, es decir, una “no explicación” basada en que simplemente somos capaces de mover objetos a distancia, “concentrando nuestra energía”. Esta noción mágica es irrefutable porque el poder puede tener cualquier característica que se desee, y es, por lo tanto, imposible de demostrar su inexistencia. Dentro de esta voy a incluir los argumentos a partir de la mecánica cuántica, ya que es un campo tan poco entendido, que argumentar a favor de un fenómeno tan extraño basandose en este campo es sumamente arrogante y muestra una profunda ignoranciadel tema. Por el otro lado, se argumenta que uno puede maneja los campos electromagnéticos producidos por su cuerpo para lograr mover un objeto. En este caso se suelen referir al “magnetismo del cuerpo” y a mencionar fenómenos como la atracción y repulsión de cargas eléctricas. Luego de peinarse, es posible usar el peine para recoger pedazos de papel a distancia. De acá se infiere que entonces, yo debería ser capaz de mover objetos a distancia.

Este es un clásico concepto pseudocientífico. Por un lado está la noción del “magnetismo del cuerpo”. El cuerpo no es una única cosa, está compuesto de miles de cosas distintas. Algunas de ellas magnéticas y otras no. Así que, ya de entrada esa noción es incorrecta o al menos, poco precisa. Por otro lado, inferir algo sobre las capacidades humanas a partir de un peine cargado eléctricamente es un error. Se subestima la importancia de la distancia y se exagera la capacidad del peine de mover objetos. El peine levanta los papeles porque tiene un exceso de carga positiva o negativa. Luego de levantarlos, pierde esta capacidad. También la pierde al cabo de poco tiempo debido al roce con el aire.

Supongamos que de alguna manera uno pudiese concentrar carga eléctrica o alinear moléculas en su cuerpo de forma tal de crear un imán. Inevitablemente, encontraríamos estos problemas:

1) Uno estaría alterando la biología de su cuerpo. ¿Cómo puede uno alterar la organización molecular básica de su cuerpo y no sufrir al menos un efecto visible?

2) Reorganizar moléculas requiere de fuerza. Para ejercer una fuerza hace falta transformar energía. ¿Que energías están en juego acá? Para dar una idea, en un experimento, usaron un imán para hacer flotar una araña minúscula. La energía que usaban era similar al consumo energético de un pueblo pequeño. El ser humano simplemente no produce los miles de watts de energía necesarios para llevar a cabo algo similar.

3) Para lograr un efecto magnético es necesario, no solo orientar dipolos si no también, concentrarlos. Es decir, uno necesitaría mover moléculas de tu cuerpo y concentrarlas en un punto específico del mismo para que sea posible empezar a producir un efecto.

4) La intensidad de un campo magnético decae con el cuadrado de la distancia. Fácil: si a 1m tengo X magnitud, al doble de esa distancia la intensidad es x/4, a 4 metros tendré X/16 y así… Y eso sin contar que pasa si hay algo en el medio. Si agarro un imán y me lo coloco en el brazo, el campo magnético no llega a atravesar las primeras capas de mi piel. Es decir, aún si tuviera la capacidad de transformarme en un imán, tendría que estar sumamente cerca del objeto para poder moverlo, sacando así el “tele” de “telequinesis”.

5) El objeto que quiero mover generalmente no es magnético, por lo cual moverlo usando un imán es casi imposible.

Estas explicaciones de la telequinesis usando campos electromagnéticos son muy interesantes para entender cómo funciona la física y la biología, pero no logran ni por asomo hacer de la telequinesis algo posible. Son lindos ejercicios mentales y esta bueno pensar como podría funcionar y después ver por qué no funciona. Realmente es muy interesante.

Sin embargo, el “true believer” va a agarrar las partes de la ciencia que le sirven y descartar las que no. Por ejemplo, va a decir que nuestros cerebros producen campos electromagnéticos (¡cierto!) pero van a negar que estos campos son tan débiles que ni siquiera son perceptibles a centímetros de nuestra cabeza.

Verdadera telequinesis

A pesar de todo lo que dije antes, voy a decir algo que puede sorprenderlos si es que leen el blog regularmente: la telequinesis ocurre todos los días. Si. Sí, yo, escéptico como soy afirmo que ocurre y que todos usamos poderes que nos permiten mover objetos a distancia.

¿No me creen? Veamos…

Cuando tocan algo… ¿piensan que los átomos de su cuerpo están chocando contra los otros? No, los átomos no se tocan. Efectivamente, lo que ocurre cuando toco algo es que llega un punto donde los electrones de los átomos de mi mano están muy cerca de los electrones de los átomos del otro objeto. No se olviden que los electrones conforman una nube alrededor del núcleo del átomo. Como ambas regiones tienen carga negativa, se repelen. Esta es la razón por la cual uno no puede atravesar paredes. Entre el núcleo del átomo y los electrones hay muchísimo espacio vacío. Si los componentes de mis átomos no tuvieran carga, entonces no me podría parar, ya que atravesaría el piso. Sorprendente, ¿verdad?

Todas las veces que movieron un objeto en su vida, lo hicieron a distancia. Ahora mismo, sentados en su silla, en realidad están flotando en un colchón creado por la fuerza electromagnética de repulsión.  Como dije antes, las cargas tienen que estar suficientemente concentradas y cerca del objeto para lograr un efecto, pero… sigue siendo telequinesis.

Jamás, en ya unos 10 años (o más) de interesarme por lo paranormal y lo sobrenatural escuché a alguien decir esto al hablar de telequinesis. Realmente, parece bastante obvio. Quienes basan su realidad en las creencias sin fundamento, en magia, que viven con la necesidad de creer constantemente en cosas maravillosas, sin importar la evidencia, viven cegados de las verdaderas maravillas. El mundo es suficientemente fascinante y extraño sin tener que recurrir a cosas como la telequinesis, la magia, la “energía positiva” y demás. De hecho, creer en esas cosas lo único que logra es alejar a uno del descubrimiento de la verdadera, increíble complejidad del mundo.

Las ideas New Age, el poder de los cristales, la proyección astral, la historia de la Atlántida, el poder de las pirámides, los duendes y las hadas, la creencia en una energía consiente de nosotros… son todas invenciones del hombre, son productos de su imaginación, que comprenden un filtro que no deja ver la realidad, la naturaleza del mundo en que vivimos, que tiene una imaginación ilimitadamente superior a la nuestra. Mientras creen estar en contacto con las “energías” y las “vibraciones” del universo, solo consiguen alejarse de la realidad y ahogarse progresivamente en sus propias mentes.

Sean críticos. Nunca se olviden que el mundo es más extraño y fascinante que los mundos que nosotros imaginamos.

Again, in the spirit of Halloween and skepticism, I want to share with you all what is likely one of the best videos ever: James Randi’s “Secrets of the Psychics”. I often show this video to my students around this time of year, when many of them are (consciously or not) thinking about psychics & various paranormal phenomena.

If you’ve never seen the entire video, I strongly encourage you to watch it all.  In addition, if you really want to get a good look into real paranormal investigation, take some time to check out one of the best skeptical books on the topic: James Randi’s “Flim-Flam! Psychics, ESP, Unicorns, and Other Delusions”

As I’m sure everyone knows, planet Earth will explode on December 21, 2012, a fact somehow revealed by an obscure calendar system invented by mesoamericans many centuries ago.

Relative to our calendar, the Mayan Long Count Calendar started on August 11, 3114 BCE.  Like a car’s odometer rolling over to all zeros, the calendar runs out on December 21, 2012.  The result: the end of the world.  There’s even a new movie about this.

Yes, people actually believe this nonsense.  But that’s no surprise, given all the end of the world predictions we’ve endured over the centuries.  James Randi has a list of 44 such failed prophecies.  It might make you feel better to read it, if you’re worried about there being any truth to the 12/21/12 absurdity.

I’m a big fan of triple and quadruple-checking things out before I present them as fact.  Actually, I tend not to present anything as fact, since, in my experience, things are constantly changing.  I’m also always ready for fantastic things to happen, even though most of the fantastic things that have happened to me are entirely unprovable or repeatable.  I simply look at reality as a very fluid thing, where anomalies can pop up at any moment, and, personally, I don’t think anything is impossible.  I also tend to think that our preconceptions actually cloud our experience, and prevent us from seeing some things that may actually be right in front of our eyes, possibly even whole other realities.

So is it possible that skeptics simply don’t see the things they have a bias against, simply because they are biased?  Heck if I know, I just like to throw out weird theories and see what happens.  Like I always say, I don’t believe or disbelieve anything.  But, due to my own personal experiences, I like to keep an open mind to the possibility that there are fantastic– even supernormal– things going on all around us, because really?  I think the world is a lot more exciting that way.

That said, here’s an entertaining and educational video about the world of skepticism, and “paranormal” activity.

Hubo un tiempo en el que personajes como Uri Geller, el conocido doblador de cucharas, entusiasmaban a todo un país entonces gobernado por pragmáticos de escaso talento y peor imaginación. Un país que todavía no ha madurado lo suficiente como para querellarse contra tanto tiempo perdido y sigue derrotado en el sofá. En otras zonas del planeta hoy día pasan cosas distintas, pero pocas. Una fue la demanda que interpuso la Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF), una organización dedicada a la defensa de la libertad de expresión en internet y otros medios de expresión desarrollados dentro del contexto de la era digital actual, en los Estados Unidos contra Geller.

Todo empezó cuando el Sr. Geller interpuso su propia demanda contra YouTube, con la intención de retirar un vídeo en el que el lúcido ergo escéptico James Randi se dirigía a los crédulos para demostrar que los supuestos poderes mentales de Geller no son más que trucos. Geller alegaba que la publicación de dicho vídeo vulneraba sus derechos de autor. Pero una vez demostrado que de los catorce minutos de duración del vídeo, Geller sólo podía reclamar tres segundos de derechos de autor porque el resto del contenido está extraído de intervenciones televisivas, ha sido Geller el demandado por la EFF por abusar de la ley de derechos de autor de los Estados Unidos. Quizá este tipo de iniciativas no sean más que un brindis al sol, porque cuesta imaginar que otro mundo sea posible. Por el momento, a falta de resolución judicial y con el vídeo provisionalmente retirado, buenas son sonrisas.

Vineshoot

Glad to see Randi up on his feet and looking pretty healthy.