E’ un film parodia del 2008. E’ stato scritto e diretto da Jason Friedberg-Aaron Seltzer. e’ uscito negli Stati Uniti il 1° febbraio 2008 mentre in Italia è uscito il 24 aprile dello stesso anno.

Leggi altre notizie su: | Parodistico | Jason Friedberg | Aaron Seltzer | Sean Maguire | Kevin Sorbo | Carmen Electra | Diedrich Bader

E’ un film parodia del 2008. E’ stato scritto e diretto da Jason Friedberg-Aaron Seltzer. e’ uscito negli Stati Uniti il 1° febbraio 2008 mentre in Italia è uscito il 24 aprile dello stesso anno.

Leggi altre notizie su: | Parodistico | Jason Friedberg | Aaron Seltzer | Sean Maguire | Kevin Sorbo | Carmen Electra | Diedrich Bader

Título: Casi 300
Título original: Meet the Spartans
País: USA
Estreno en USA: 25/01/2008
Estreno en España: 28/03/2008
Productora: 20th Century Fox / New Regency Pictures / Regency Enterprises
Director: Jason Friedberg y Aaron Seltzer
Guión: Jason Friedberg y Aaron Seltzer
Reparto: Sean Maguire, Carmen Electra, Ken Davitian, Kevin Sorbo, Diedrich Bader, Method Man, Jareb Dauplaise, Travis Van Winkle, Nicole Parker

Sinopsis:

Parodia de la exitosa película “300″. El heroico Leónidas, sin más armas que la ropa interior de cuero y una capa, lidera un grupo de 13 espartanos en defensa de su patria contra los invasores persas (cuyas filas incluyen a Ghost Rider, Rocky Balboa, los Transformers y a una jorobada Paris Hilton).

Opinión:

La hediondez hecha cine. Un cagarro tamaño catedral de Burgos. La nada absoluta. Una pura basura. Y así podría seguir hasta el infinito tras contemplar y conseguir aguantar el deseo de sacarme los ojos con un sacapuntas esta “obra” de Jason Friedberg y Aaron Seltzer, a los que deseo con toda mi corazón la peor de las torturas ideada por el hombre.

Hijos de la gran puta

Y es que es absolutamente vergonzoso que esto haya podido tener financiación, que haya podido estrenarse y que para mas cojones haya tenido éxito. Definitivamente la humanidad se va al carajo. Plagada de interpretaciones lamentables, chistes ofensivos y sin gracia alguna, este intento de parodia de la obra de Zack Snyder y Frank Miller debería ser prohibido por el tribunal de La Haya.

Bastardos

Una ¿película? hecha por imbéciles para imbéciles. Ni se os ocurra perder el tiempo con esto, o vomitareis hasta la primera papilla. Quedáis avisados.

Puntuación:

1 / 10

Great Pyramid? How about Mediocre instead...

There’s been plenty of chatter on the TripleDoubleU regarding the new Travesty Transformers movie.  I’ve not only made a slight mention here on this site, but I’ve voiced my opinion on Topless Robot’s threads as well.  The big debacle over the films many weaknesses boils down to this question:

Who’s fault is it?

As I’ve detailed above, depending upon the director, crap can transform into dysentary (see: pic above) or crap can screen flair (see: Star Trek).  In Hollywood, screenwriters have little to do with the final film, if anything with the process at all.  Haven’t you ever heard the blonde joke about the wannabe starlet sleeping with the writer?  Steve Martin even made light of this fact in his underrated Bowfinger.

Go-to-writers-du-jour Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman are a lot like this candy-dispensing product:

Have a cow… pie, man!

Together, they’ve written the following films:

• The Island
• The Legend of Zorro
• Mission: Impossible III
• Transformers
• Star Trek
• Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

And like that candy dispenser, each one is a jellybean that in retrospect reminds us of bovine dung.

Here’s the breakdown of each attempt at writing:

The Island was a rip-off of three 70’s sci-fi films (Logan’s Run, Parts: The Clonus Horror, and THX-1138), and it was directed by Michael Bay.  It was partly filmed in Detroit, and you can see a painted portrait of Steve Yzerman in the background at one point (plus Scarlett Johanssonthroughout), so to not be a complete hater – this flick is tolerable.  But only for those reasons.  Seriously, catch the older (schlocky) trio of sci-fi “classics” then watch The Island.  Bay and the Boys borrowed quickly and liberally.

Does anybody remember the Zorro sequel?  *crickets*crickets*

Mission: Impossible IIIwas competent (I still like the first one best).  Although he was kind of douchey when he directed the episode of Jimmy Kimmel he was on, JJ Abrams handled this film well enough.  I still believe the sequence where Tom Cruise chased the “Rabbit’s Foot” through the streets of Shanghai could have been longer, and Philip Seymour Hoffman could have been given more scenes to chew on (plus more Maggie Q).  Mission: Decently Distracted.

Transformers was the second re-teaming of the screenwriters and Bay.  It’s been said that producer Steven Spielberg placed emphasis on the fact that the film was ultimately about a boy and his alien (car).  And after five hours of CGI robot action, the first hour of the first film is still best.  Although, I do like seeing the Detroit landmarks in the final battle, so this film was also okay in my book, despite the lack of common sense and clearly defined action scenes.  Moral of the story: if Bay films in the Motor City, my criticism dwindles.  Moral of another story: Spielberg’s kind of losing his touch, eh?

Star Trek, also directed by JJ, was solid, but not perfect.  The origin story introduced some neat twists and surprises, but Kirk with puffy hands?!  Scotty going through water pipes?!  A tad amateurish (and the fault of the writers, I’d suspect).

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, the Third Turd of Bay and the Boys, was rushed to production.  They didn’t get anytime for a rewrite, and it sadly shows.  Sure, Bay might have made a lot of poor decisions (robot crying, robot humping, robot minstrels, robot balls), but the script’s plot made little sense.  (Why would the Prime’s have to sacrifice to hide the Matrix of Leadership instead of killing the Fallen?  Why would they hide it on Earth?  See the Topless Robot link above.)

I guess what I’m trying to say is this: if JJ Abrams made Transformers, imagine how “cool” it would be.  Then imagine if Michael Bay made Star Trek…  (It’s like that ending speech in A Time to Kill…)

Perhaps Orci and Kurtzman aren’t the worst screenwriters on the planet, but they need to branch out a bit more to tell for sure. 

(FINAL NOTE: JJ worked on the script for Bay’s Armageddon.  It was a fun ride that went on too long and pulled way too hard at the heart strings.  Srsly, how many things could possibly go wrong in trying to get off a space rock?  Apparently, everything.  More importantly: how was Armageddon a film in the Criterion Collection?!)

Dir: Aaaron Seltzer, 2006

No.

Disaster Movie Poster

Director: Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer
Artist: Mitt Lanter, Kim Kardashian, Vanessa Minnillo
Running Time: 88 Minutes

Apabila ditanyakan kepada saya “Siapa sutradara yang paling saya benci?”, saya tidak akan buru-buru menjawab Uwe Boll seperti kebanyakan orang. Sebaliknya, saya akan menjawab duet Jason Friedberg dan Aaron Seltzer. Uwe Boll mungkin dimaki orang karena dianggap merusak citra game-game favorit mereka di layar lebar. Bagaimanapun perlu diingat bahwa Uwe Boll SETIDAKNYA berusaha membuat sebuah film yang memiliki cerita – tak peduli bagaimanapun berantakannya cerita itu.

Bandingkan dengan Disaster Movie, parodi terbaru garapan duet ini. Saya bahkan kebingungan bagaimana merangkum ceritanya lebih dari dua kalimat. Intinya; Will mengalami mimpi buruk bahwa dunia akan mengalami bencana besar, dan mendadak bencana itu terjadi. Will dan teman-temannya harus bertahan hidup sembari mencari tahu apa yang terjadi. Selesai. Dalam dua kalimat sederhana itulah plot Disaster Movie dijabarkan. Sisanya adalah campur aduk tidak jelas yang memasukkan seluruh ikon film summer tahun ini. Anda mencari Hulk? Iron-Man? Hellboy? Batman? Wanted? Indiana Jones? Para gadis Sex and the City? Pedansa High School Musical? Speed Racer? Kung Fu Panda? Silahkan. Saya jamin anda bisa menemukan segala jenis parodi film-film baru tahun ini… kecuali parodi film bencana.

Saya tidak bercanda. Dalam 88 menit film ini anda akan disuguhi segala jenis parodi film komedi, animasi, superhero, sampai drama tetapi anda tidak akan diberi parodi apapun mengenai film bencana (selain sebuah referensi singkat mengenai Twister dan The Day After Tomorrow dan plot yang dibuat – mungkin – berdasarkan Cloverfield). Apa gerangan yang dipikirkan oleh duet ini? Ada SEGUDANG film bertemakan bencana. Independence Day, War of the Worlds, Godzilla, Poseidon, Dante’s Peak, Turbulence, Volcano, dan saya bisa menyebutkan jauh lebih banyak lagi… tapi kurasa kalian bisa menangkap pesanku. Apa maksudnya membuat film berjudul Disaster Movie tanpa parodi film bencana di dalamnya? Yang lebih parah lagi? Karena film ini dirilis hanya berselang beberapa bulan dari film yang diparodikannya, apa yang diparodikan dalam film ini sebenarnya hanyalah parodi dari trailer semata!

Bahkan humor-humor orisinil yang dilakukan dalam film ini pun sama sekali tidak lucu. Beberapa adegan bahkan menunjukkan seseorang menembaki orang lain sampai tewas (walau dalam balutan komedi) sementara pihak lain hanya melihati atau kadang malah tertawa. Adegan-adegan seperti inilah yang saya rasa merusak dan merendahkan moral para remaja jaman sekarang. Gara-gara Disaster Movie dan ’saudara-saudara’nya jugalah ketika saya mengatakan film parodi orang merasa jijik mendengarnya. Ah, betapa rindunya saya dengan jaman keemasan film-film parodi seperti Naked Gun dan Hot Shots. Pada masa-masa itu, film parodi bisa membuat saya tertawa terbahak-bahak sampai berlinangan air mata. Kini, menonton film Disaster Movie bagaikan siksaan. Toh, saya memaksa diri menontonnya supaya anda tidak perlu menontonnya. Jangan buang 90 menit yang berharga dalam hidup anda untuk menonton film ini!

Ketika ending credit film ini bergulir, barulah terlintas sebuah kemungkinan di benak saya. Saya mungkin keliru mengartikan arti film ini. Mungkin judul Disaster Movie bukan bermaksud mengatakan film ini parodi dari film-film bertemakan bencana; mungkin judul ini bermaksud mengatakan bahwa film ini adalah sebuah bencana dalam industri perfilman!

Score: 0

Oh Hollywood…it’s bad enough that the global economic crisis is biting into both moviegoers and moviemakers hard the past year,  why is it that there are just so many lessons Hollywood has to learn from the messes it has incurred over the past year.

1. Video games just don’t make for good big-screen narrative. Even the presence of Academy Award winners in the cast just goes to show that stupid money can buy even the most principled of talent – and dump them in the midst of  inept, shoddily-scripted productions.  Think of  Raul Julia in Street Fighter
   
   clip of Julia as M. Bison facing off against Krist…oopss, Ming-Na as Chun-Li
   or (Sir) Ben Kingsley in BloodRayne.
   
   BloodRayne trailer…AMPAS, can you take back his Oscar????
2. Hollywood should may as well keep its greedy mitts off anime.  Certainly, whoever are these wise guys still pushing for the Dragonball Evolution film to open at the start of the summer 2009 schedule did not learn their lessons from that migraine inducer that was Speed Racer (which would have opened a year ago at that point)
   
   1st 7 mins. opening sequences of Speed Racer
3. Hollywood can’t make a good & original horror movie if an idea would bite it on its Botox’d ass.  That is why – if it doesn’t try to remake previous horror flicks that weren’t even memorable to begin with, it decides to import – or rip off – from foreign sources.
   
   Trailer for The Echo, the Hollywood remake of Pinoy horror flick Sigaw – with the original’s director and star Iza Calzado.
4. If you are not Disney or Dreamworks, you have absolutely no right to dick around with CGI-animated features.  Did any of these babies try ringing a bell this year?
   
   Space Chimps?
   
   Fly Me to the Moon?
   
   Igor?
   
   Delgo (must spare him – he’s been through enough mocking already)
5. Larry the Cable Guy simply isn’t that marketable…even with arm candy like Jenny McCarthy!
   
   Other actors who should fire their agents:
   • Jason Statham
   • Burt Reynolds
   • Kate Hudson
   • Nicole Kidman
   • Christian Slater
   • Thomas (or is it Tom?) Jane
6. Adam Seltzer and Jason Friedberg should NEVER be allowed to make movies again.  Hollywood should warn Interpol in case they ever decide to flee the USA for Canada, Germany (sorry no tax loopholes for you – that only applies to German nationals like Uwe Boll) or even India to restart their cinematic endeavors.

By the way, here are my list of  ten worst films of the year:

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
The Hottie & the Nottie
Disaster Movie
Superhero Movie
Speed Racer
Meet Dave
The X-Files: I Want to Believe
The Happening
10,000 BC
Death Race (the only one in this list that I had the ill fortune of watching in a cinema)

movies

Bring home the UNRATED DVD that lets you go all the way on the first date! With outrageous extras and footage not shown in theaters, here’s the ruder, cruder version of the no-holds-barred comedy from two of the twisted minds behind Scary Movie.

Julia Jones (Alyson Hannigan from the American Pie series) is looking for love in ALL the wrong movies, until she snags the man of her dreams! But now, a devious ex, a farting feline and eccentric in-laws threaten her perfect Hollywood wedding!

Sophomoric is too weak a word by at least half to describe the utter silliness Date Movie revels in at every turn. But that’s exactly the point of this effort in lowbrow slapstick that proudly proclaims it was created by two of the six writers of the Scary Movie franchise. Adhering to the same spoof formula of those movie romps, Date Movie lampoons countless other current movie characters and plot themes, plus a few that might be a little old for the core audience of youngsters to remember. Date Movie isn’t quite as successful in keeping the gags at the same pace they came in the Scary Movies, but it will certainly satisfy those with a taste for tasteless humor. The wisp of a story involves fat girl Julia Jones, played by Alyson Hannigan, who quickly becomes as thin and pretty as she was in the American Pie movies and on TV’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer. You’ll lose count how many movie references writer/directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer throw in her path as she searches for true love in a world gone mad. Hitch, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Meet the Fockers, King Kong, Lord of the Rings, When Harry Met Sally, Pretty Woman, Bridget Jones’ Diary, and Kill Bill, are just a few of the movies that get unkindly homage. There’s also plenty of flatulence, mild sexual ribaldry, and the kind of bad taste humor that will utterly delight the pubescent and teenage audience this movie was made for. –Ted Fry

Date Movie (Unrated Edition) is available at Amazon for $10.49. To Order click here
Amazon Product Pages contain a lot of other details on this product as Customer Reviews, Sales Ranking, Special Offers, Alternate products that customers are going for and much more.Want to read these details? click here

Want to get some other Format / Binding / Version? You can search for them from here

Other Products of Interest

• Epic Movie (Unrated Edition)
• Scary Movie 4 (Unrated Widescreen Edition)
• Scary Movie 3 (Widescreen Edition)
• Scary Movie
• Scary Movie 2

Does anyone else remember how funny Scary Movie was? Come on, admit it. It wasn’t that amazing, but despite the ridiculously juvenile humour it was quirky and new and fun, right? Deep down, we all enjoyed Scary Movie.

Or perhaps the reason why I feel so attached to Scary Movie all of a sudden is that I have recently had the misfortune to witness the abominable monstrosity that is Disaster Movie. Truly, I was incredibly naive to believe that Postal and Meet The Spartans were to be the worst movies ever created until the end of time, but now I would much rather crush every bone in my big toe with a doorstop than have to endure one more minute of this crap. Mel Brooks was wrong — compared to Disaster Movie, cutting one’s finger is comedy.

The reason I’m blogging about this is that I’ve recently heard several rumours that Friedberg and Seltzer are in the first stages of developing yet another title to this series of utter fail. Which brings me back to the title of this entry: Why? Why do they keep making these things? Do they honestly find themselves to be funny? Furthermore, why has no one even attempted to stop Friedberg and Seltzer from making these films once and for all?

On an unrelated note, I’ve held back from making a proper entry on the US Presidential Election because I am simply too non-conformist for that. In all seriousness, though, I’ve nothing of any value to add (not implying that any of these posts that I’ve made are actually good for anything, of course), but being a huge Obama supporter who’s followed his campaign over the last two years, naturally I was glued to the TV all day and was ecstatic after witnessing his victory. And I’m not even American! Hah! How lame is that?

servizio di LUCA SVIZZERETTO

(tratto da Nuovo Oggi di venerdì 10 ottobre 2008) – Gli americani ci hanno ormai abituati agli ’spoof movies’ (film parodia), da quando hanno ottenuto il successo con la serie ‘Scary Movie’ non si sono praticamente più fermati. Pensare che i veri primi film di genere erano quelli targati Abraham-Zucker-Abraham, ovvero ‘L’aereo più pazzo del mondo’ e ‘Hot Shots’. In quel caso si poteva parlare davvero di grandi film, che ancora oggi vedere risulta rilassante e piacevole. La demenzialità raggiunta da questi ‘pronipoti’ è invece disarmante. Abbiamo esaurito le parole per descrivere il nulla profondo che si cela dietro una pellicola come ‘Disaster Movie’. Un miscuglio, senza alcun senso, di volgarità, rotti, scoreggie, donne e uomini seminudi.
‘Disaster Movie’ tenta di fare il verso a tutti quei blockbuster che ci hanno accompagnato durante la scorsa stagione cinematografica: da ‘Batman – Il Cavaliere Oscuro’, a ‘Le Cronache di Narnia – Il Principe Caspian’, passando per ‘Cloverfield’, ‘Come d’incanto’ e ‘Hight Scool Musical’.
Carmen Electra era presente a Roma, mercoledì 8 ottobre, per presentare alla stampa il film. Ne è risultata una conferenza stampa molto leggera dove si è parlato della pellicola in questione, di gossip e di poco altro. L’Electra si è rifiutata di rispondere a qualsiasi domanda sulle prossime elezioni presidenziali ed ha preferito piuttosto lanciare il suo libro, dedicato alle donne, con le istruzioni per essere sexy.
“Mi è sempre piaciuto molto avere un certo senso dell’umorismo, tant’è che ho provato a ridere di me stessa anche e soprattutto nei momenti difficili – conferma la Electra – Il poter avere la capacità di esprimere il mio umorismo anche nei film mi dà un grande senso di libertà, di gioia.”
Per poi spiazzare tutti anticipando forse una domanda inevitabile: “A volte serve, e mi piace, comportarmi da sciocca nell’ambito del mio ruolo, perchè no. Serve anche questo perchè la parte sia riuscita. Anzi, forse fa ancora più contrasto essere una ‘loose’r quando si ha un aspetto così perfetto, con tacchi alti e tutto il resto“.
Un film che prende in giro tante di quelle che sono icone pop della contemporaneità statunitense, dell’ambiente del cinema ma anche del jet-set più in generale. “Disaster movie non vuole attaccare nessuno – precisa però la bella Carmen – Vuole essere una presa in giro affettuosa, ma anche un riconoscimento di quel che oggi è importante nella cultura pop, americana e non“.
La Electra spende qualche parola sulla propria carriera: “Mi piace molto avere ruoli diversi, e mi sento molto fortunata per essere arrivata dove mai avrei pensato di arrivare. Sono arrivata ad Hollywood, partendo dal sogno di voler ballare o apparire in qualche video musicale. Per cui mi ritengo fortunatissima“. La bionda tiene testa anche a domande che la vorrebbero relegata esclusivamente a ruoli minori, apparizioni e camei, in assenza di una proposta per una parte più impegnativa: “Fare questi camei, queste apparizioni, mi consente poi di fare tante cose, di lavorare su più fronti. Ho prodotto un mio corso di aerobica per esempio, ho lavorato su tanti miei progetti, e per questo non sono affatto dispiaciuta delle parti che mi sono state proposte finora”. La ballerina di Cincinnati glissa molto elegantemente sui progetti che la vedono impegnata con la sua associazione per le persone affette da tumori al cervello, dopo che nel 1998 aveva perso la madre, colpita proprio da questo tipo di patologia. “Certo – continua – la mia aspirazione sarebbe ricoprire un ruolo drammatico, vorrei impegnarmi prima o poi in questa sfida“.
Ma il tono delle domande non riesce ad elevarsi a tanto, anche probabilmente per il livello grottesco e dissacrante del film, e la Electra viene interpellata sulla propria passione per il wrestling, dato che nel film la si vede impegnata proprio in un combattimento di quel tipo: “Mi sono molto divertita in quell’episodio, io sono cresciuto in una famiglia in cui mia madre era cintura nera di arti marziali, fin da bambina sono stata immersa in qualche modo nel mondo della lotta. Quando sono uscita dal ring ero tutta contusa e graffiata! Mi sono molto divertita e la scena mi è servita anche a ricordare mia mamma“.
Inevitabile l’interrogativo su quali dei due candidati alla Casa Bianca preferisse, cammuffata dietro la richiesta di un’opinione su quali dei due competitor vedesse meglio come supereroe, domanda alla quale Electra dà, nella seconda parte, forse la miglior risposta fra tutte le star americane passate nell’ultimo periodo in Italia: “Io in realtà sono qui per presentare un film - dice molto candidamente Carmen – Un film divertente che dovrebbe servire anche a distogliersi da questi pensieri foschi e seriosi sull’attualità. Io non sono portavoce di nessuno, per cui mi sembrerebbe anche fuori luogo parlare di politica, dato che non ho nemmeno gli strumenti per farlo“.
Sollecitata dai giornalisti, ne ha anche per la stampa e i tabloid: “Personalmente trovo molto più sano non nascondermi. Sono un personaggio pubblico, non avrebbe senso nascondermi alla stampa. Certo poi i paparazzi ci sono, ma riconosco che quello che fanno è il loro mestiere. Questa posizione è determinata sempre dalla gratitudine che ho per le opportunità che mi sono state date“.
Alla fine la Electra sembra tornare nel suo campo naturale, dispensando suggerimenti su come essere sexy: “Ho scritto questo libro su come essere sensuali, sono molto felice di dire la mia su come essere sensuali. Forse dopo avere fatto questo film, avrei bisogno di rileggermelo anche io!”.

“Ma quello è il Teschio di Cristallo!”

In this spoof of romantic comedy films, Julia Jones faces trouble while looking for love when her ex-boyfriend, parents, and other obstacles get in the way of her happiness.
Sophomoric is too weak a word by at least half to describe the utter silliness Date Movie revels in at every turn. But that’s exactly the point of this effort in lowbrow slapstick that proudly proclaims it was created by two of the six writers of the Scary Movie franchise. Adhering to the same spoof formula of those movie romps, Date Movie lampoons countless other current movie characters and plot themes, plus a few that might be a little old for the core audience of youngsters to remember. Date Movie isn’t quite as successful in keeping the gags at the same pace they came in the Scary Movies, but it will certainly satisfy those with a taste for tasteless humor. The wisp of a story involves fat girl Julia Jones, played by Alyson Hannigan, who quickly becomes as thin and pretty as she was in the American Pie movies and on TV’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer. You’ll lose count how many movie references writer/directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer throw in her path as she searches for true love in a world gone mad. Hitch, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Meet the Fockers, King Kong, Lord of the Rings, When Harry Met Sally, Pretty Woman, Bridget Jones’ Diary, and Kill Bill, are just a few of the movies that get unkindly homage. There’s also plenty of flatulence, mild sexual ribaldry, and the kind of bad taste humor that will utterly delight the pubescent and teenage audience this movie was made for. –Ted Fry

Date Movie (Unrated Edition) is available at Amazon for $9.99. To Order click here
Amazon Product Pages contain a lot of other details on this product as Customer Reviews, Sales Ranking, Special Offers, Alternate products that customers are going for and much more.Want to read these details? click here

Want to get some other Format / Binding / Version? You can search for them from here

Other Products of Interest

• Scary Movie 4 (Unrated Widescreen Edition)
• Epic Movie (Unrated Edition)
• Scary Movie 3 (Widescreen Edition)
• Scary Movie
• Scary Movie 2

Name: Disaster Movie (2008)

Imdb page: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1213644/
Rotten Tomatoes page: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/disaster_movie/
Trailer: http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=CBGyPhBDdtg

Things you would rather do than see “Disaster Movie”:

01. Die.
02. Have a terrifying near death experience.
03. Get intimate with a member of the same sex.
04. (For gay people) get intimate with a member of the opposite sex.
05. (For bisexuals) Get intimate with a horse.
06. Listen to Soulja Boy (well, thats a bit of a stretch)
07. Die again.
08. Come back from the dead only to be hit by a bus.
09. Get raped in prison by a large black man named Stuart
10. Listen Fran Drescher six hours.
11. Read a dictionary.
12. Watch a Richard Gere movie.
13. Watch paint dry.
14. Listen grass grow.
15. Watch paint dry on growing grass.
16. Impale myself on a blunt knife.
17. Smother myself with a pillow.
18. Play Superman 64.
19. Get bamboo shoots shoved under my fingernails.
20. Purposely *beep* myself in public.
21. Watch The Wicker Man.
22. Play titliewinks (sp).
23. Eat a bowl of Kashi.
24. Bake bread.
25. Swim in a pool of diarrhea.
26. Shave my back.
27. Stick my hand in Acid until I bleed to death. But I’ll prolly be goin to hell and they’ll make me watch this anyway.
28. Stand in line at the DMV.
29. Watch a turkey defrost.
30. Marry Star Jones.
31. Watch season 2 of Heroes.
32. Wear a suit made of an American flag….In Iraq.
33. Listen to Paris Hilton’s album.
34. Drink a nice cold glass of bleach.
35. Watch the porn of Rosie O’ Donnel.
36. Go to a carrot top show.
37. Watch a weeklong marathon of Tyra Banks’ talk show.
38. Bunjee jump of a 100 foot building with a 150 foot cable.
39. Purpousley drop a cender block on my foot.
40. Eat cockroaches.
41. Repeat 1st Grade 80 times.
42. Write a list of things I’d rather do than watch Disaster Movie.
43. Count the hairs on my head.
44. Talk to a lamp.
45. Watch a movie that they “spoof” in Date Movie, Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans, or this movie.
46. Watch High School Musical 1 and 2 (I like HSM).
47. Give CPR to the baby from Eraserhead.
48. Get a mosquito bite on an infected scab.
49. Tell somebody that their family member is dead.
50. Snort lines of glass powder.
51. Watch A Nightmare On Elm Street on Acid.
52. Get a lapdance from Richard Simmons.
53. Attach a car battery to my penis.
54. Attempt to find land with Kevin Costner in a post-apocalyptic future.
55. Allow Tom Cruise to convince me how great scientology is.
56. Go door to door in Iraq and try to sell the newly written book “Muhammed: the bisexual Terrorist”.
57. Read the Bible backwards.
58. Lick the floor of a restroom at a gas stop.
59. Be an advocate for gay rights in Iran.
60. Fight a Chupacabra.
61. Shove a watch up my rectum and keep it in their for 2 years and then die of dysentary in a POW camp.
62. Mess with the Zohan.
63. Play Street Racing Syndicate.
64. Take a road trip in a Yugo.
65. Mess with Walker, Texas Ranger.
66. Film grass growing and create a soundtrack to go along with it.
67. Clean every square inch of a public restroom with a toothbrush.
68. Brush my teeth with said toothbrush.
69. Jump head first out my bedroom window.
70. Eat pudding with ears in it.
71. Draw a picture of the New York skyline.
72. Clean every inch of my house.
73. Peel off every one of my finger and toe nails.
74. Watch The Hottie and the Nottie.
75. Read every Shakespeare play.
76. Tear my computer completely apart, then put it back together.
77. Read Simon Cowell’s autobiography.
78. Sing along to Sesame Street.
79. Send an email to Jason Friedberg telling him I’m his biggest fan and I love his movies.
80. Go back to school.
81. Repeatedly bash myself over the head with my brother’s ‘Over the Hedge’ lunchbox.
82. Spend a day in Gauntanamo Bay.
83. Sell all my clothes on eBay and walk round the block naked.
84. Date a random person for an hour.
85. Go to the park and play on the climbing frame.
86. Record myself singing along to “Ain’t Got No Home” and then upload it to YouTube.
87. Stay up all night watching “Hannah Montana”.
88. Stalk Bjork in anticipation of her gargling salt water in hope it sounds like a new song of hers.
89. Watch the complete lord of the rings extended trilogy but skipping back to the start every minute (I.e. 1 minute-start-2 minutes-start-3 minutes-start etc).
90. Operate on myself with nothing but a spoon and a match.
91. Stretch around a wheel of a F1 car during Monaco.
92. Do a personal review of every topic and reply on IMDB for the rest of my life. Starting with this one…
93. Get a blow job from a starving cannibal.
94. Experience the BME Pain Olympics for yourself.
95. Record a new video.. 2 girls and 1 cup plus 1 guy.
96. Watch a dharma and greg boxed set
97. Sleep with Whoopie Goldberg.
98. Be knocked up by Seth Rogen.
99. Spend a month in a Russian gulag.

Titolo originale: Disaster movie

Regia: Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer

Cast: Matt Lanter, Vanessa Minnillo, G-Thang, Kim Kardashian, Carmen Electra, Crista Flanagan, Nicole Parker, Ike Barinholtz, Tony Cox

Distribuzione: Eagle Pictures, USA, 2008

Guarda il trailer

Un gruppo di ragazzi che sta partecipando a una festa, si trova ad affrontare una serie di catastrofi che si abbattono sulla città: asteroidi, tornado, chipmunks famelici e indiavolati…

La pellicola (ad opera dei creatori di Scary Movie e registi di Hot Movie, Epic Movie e 3ciento) è una parodia demenziale dei film catastrofici, ma non solo, usciti nell’ultimo periodo e dei loro protagonisti: Cloverfield, Hancock, Juno, Indiana Jones, Iron Man, Hulk, Sex and The City, Alvin Superstar, 10.000 A. C., High School Musical, Come d’incanto, ma anche dei personaggi dello spettacolo più in vista o discussi come Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana e Amy Winehouse.

Senza troppi giri di parole, questo film non mi è piaciuto affatto. Premetto che adoro la serie di Scary Movie, mi diverte moltissimo, ci sono delle trovate e delle parodie esilaranti, mi capita spesso di rivedere qualche film della serie quando ho voglia di ridere, ma a mio avviso, anche questo filone parodistico si è esaurito o comunque si è esaurito l’effetto novità che lo aveva portato al successo. Non voglio demolire questa pellicola o usarla come capro espiatorio ma in quest’ultima si notano tutti i limiti e le “magagne” di un genere moribondo: delle scene sono senza dubbio divertenti (ad esempio quella che vede per protagonisti Alvin & the Chipmunks, oppure le battute dissacranti di Juno), ma mentre i vari Scary Movie sono spassosi e piacevoli per tutta la loro durata, hanno una trama a modo loro ben definita nonostante le continue citazioni comiche, questa pellicola è solo un’accozzaglia di idee e di sketch che si susseguono senza logica e coerenza: è solo una carrellata (scadente) di situazioni più o meno divertenti.

Il cast fa quello che può in questa confusione totale. Da notare la presenza di Kim Kardashian, l’ereditiera protagonista con la sua famiglia di un reality su E! e dell’habituée di queste pellicole, Carmen Electra.

In definitiva un vero e proprio “Disaster” come annuncia il titolo.

Conclusione: Da evitare!

Voto: s.v.

Kim Kardashian can’t act? Shocker of the century! Those critics brave enough to see Disaster Movie have given their take, and it doesn’t look too pretty. So far, counting 19 reviews, its score on Rotten Tomatoes is…0%,whereas The Love Guru earned a 14%. The Jason Friedberg/Aaron Seltzer franchise of spoofs started with the decently reviewed Scary Movie in 2000, but moving on to fare like Date Movie (2006) and Meet the Spartans (2008) has only solidified their position as one of the biggest purveyors of scum in the theaters today. So please, listen to my official decree and DO NOT see Disaster Movie. You’ll thank me later.
picture from latimes.com

10 years after playing a cruel prank on a fellow student at an end of senior year party, a band of classmates return to their old high school for a class reunion. Of course, the now crazy dude, who has a paper bag over his head and wears a schoolgirl’s uniform, is waiting for them, ready to kill them one by one. Also, rock legend Chuck Berry pops in for a few songs. Think of it as an eighties Scary Movie, with less gross out scenes.

This pretty much forms the basis for Class Reunion, a 1982 horror spoof released under the National Lampoon brand. Now I know what you’re thinking, but while National Lampoon now rhymes with “absolute crap”, back when it started it actually usually meant fun, with talent such as talent such as John Landis & John Belushi (Animal House), Harold Ramis & John Hughes (Vacation), etc, often involved.

Class Reunion is actually John Hughes’ first produced script. The movie is directed by Michael Miller (Silent Rage) and stars a bunch of people you wouldn’t know, the most recognizable face probably being Michael Lerner (Godzilla), in a supporting role. Trailer and review after the jump.

Class Reunion isn’t very good, to put it bluntly. It’s extremely zany, incredibly stupid and completely random, all of which is fine really. The movie mostly parodies slasher films such as Prom Night and Halloween, but it also tries its funny bones on The Exorcist, Dracula, and others. Its problem is that it isn’t that funny…in fact most of it is quite unfunny. The cast & crew attempt to recreate the Zucker-Abrahams-Zucker style of humor (Airplane!), but unfortunately, it never really hits home.

Still, Class Reunion isn’t a complete throwaway. While I didn’t laugh that much, I got plenty of smiles, and I kept shaking my head in amazement at how crazy the movie was. And at least, the humor here is sincere, which is a lot more than you can say for the dudes who’ve now taken over the spoof genre in the US (*cough*Jason Friedberg*cough*Aaron Seltzer*cough*).

But actually the most hilarious thing about this movie is that it understands suspense a whole lot better than the recent Prom Night remake, which has a somewhat similar plot progression and purports to be a genuine horror movie. Also, there’s that Chuck Berry cameo. If you must see a zany eighties comedy with a killer, I’d strongly recommend you check out Jonathan Lynn’s masterful Clue instead (known in other parts of the world as Cluedo), based on the popular board game. It doesn’t spoof slashers, but it’s hilarious.

Verdict: Rather bad, but sincere. Class Reunion currently holds a 4.3/10 on IMDB and a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes.

More “Movies Of The Day”

Yesterday I reported about Warner Bros’ legal battle with Mirchi Movies over the forthcoming Indian film Hari Puttar: A Comedy Of Terrors (read more about it here). Today I find out that an American movie called Harvey Putter And The Ridiculous Premise has finished filming this August, and not only does Warner not care, the film actually has the support of the Harry Potter cast, crew, and fanbase!

The 30,000 dollar movie, from the people who brought you The Dork Of The Rings (huh?) features characters with names such as Dumpy The Houseschmuck, Hernia Grunger and Wand Fu Master and takes place at the “Snogwarts School Of Witchcrap”. According to the IMDB, the self-professed spoof’s story goes like this:

Celebrity teen wizard Harvey Putter and his friends learn that they are merely characters in a best-selling book and must magically escape their world before the final chapter.

The thought that Warner is freaking out over a Home Alone ripoff that most international Potter fans will never see (Indian films still being a very niche market) while Harvey Putter, which sounds like it’s going to be as funny as a Friedberg/Seltzer film (Disaster Movie), actually has the support of the Potter community, is baffling, and kind of sad really.

Dear Warner Bros, Hari Puttar: A Comedy Of Terrors‘ title is equal parts Harry Potter and William Shakespeare (The Comedy Of Errors, anyone?), so unless you can somehow get the Bard’s corpse to join you in your quest for “justice”, please give it up, you’re only embarassing yourselves.

Harvey Putter And The Ridiculous Premise is expected to premiere sometime in 2010, Hari Puttar: A Comedy Of Terrors is slated for release on September 12th 2008, and Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince was recently moved to July 17th 2009.

Stupid people are an epidemic. The pandemic is amazing. Zombies walking around like they are capable of knowing something about anything. The first failure in the education system is a blogger by the name of Hal Licino who unwittingly went off to attack Deborah Ng of Freelance Writing Jobs. Licino goes all out to defame Ng in his post, all time not grasping the true nature of the FWJ Idol. He writes:

In the meantime this FWJ Idol has turned into nothing more than a free content mega-stuffer for the site. Deborah has been lambasted for preying on the very members of her own community who have supported her for so long, and her “solution” has been that she will delete the blogs of the losing participants when the winner is selected.

This “solution” is so disingenuous that it boggles the imagination. Those pages will not only live on in Google caches long after they’re gone, but the net benefit in pageviews and pagerank from all of this unique content will persist indefinitely: all at the expense of the bloggers who wrote great content for free. Let’s not even get into the fact that the voting process was set up in such a blatantly amateurish manner that the dedicated attempts to “game” the polls have succeeded in distorting the process to the point that whoever wins will be always under suspicion.

In her defense, Ng has gone to respond to the cruel allegations set up by Licino, who probably got cut from the contest or something, because I can’t figure out another reason why he’s pining over something like that.

Licino, you’re a bigger failure than the PUMAs who tell me to grow up. Poor poor Hal, I’m assuming no one loved you enough. I’m sure you’ll have more fun attacking bigger fish with libel than you will with just bloggers.

—-Next Subject—-

Disaster Movie, are you fucking serious?

Will someone do us all a favor and take Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer out to the woods and fucking kill them? Jerks (because movie makers, directors and any other term that means the same thing just doesn’t cut it for them) keep shitting out these turds that for some odd reason movie companys keep picking up – seriously, Lions Gate? Are you that desparate? – and several other idiots, mostly high school students, flock to the theater and put more money into their pockets. Stop it already. Don’t we have enough morons to fill the nation? I mean a lot of them are frothing at the mouth in the political zone, that perhaps Friedberg and Seltzer should just make a documentary and then release that next year. I have a headache.

—-Next Subject—-

I still want to know what a PUMA is and why they think they have such popular ideals. At the moment, I’m convinced they’re a bunch of homely housewives with nothing better to do.

E as piadas continuam engraçadas…

Os responsáveis (direção e roteiro) por esta nova sessão de zuações aos grandes blockbusters hollywoodianos (prevista para estrear no dia 29 de Agosto, nos E.U.A) são Jason Friedberg e Aaron Seltzer.

E as boas piadas continuam nos novos cartazes da “comédia apocalíptica” Disaster Movie. Indiana Jones e Os Simpsons são as novas vítimas…

O elenco (encabeçado por Carmem Elektra - Espartalhões), teve recentemente novos nomes adicionados: Vanessa Minnillo, Matt Lanter, Kim Kardashian e Jacob Tolano.

Os responsáveis (direção e roteiro) por esta nova sessão de zuações aos grandes blockbusters hollywoodianos (prevista para estrear no dia 29 de Agosto, nos E.U.A) são Jason Friedberg e Aaron Seltzer.