These were the wise words of money saving expert Martin Lewis, who I happened to hear on the Jeremy Vine show on Radio 2 this lunchtime. It was an interesting discussion, in which he basically advised people not to go crazy with the present-giving and to focus on giving meaningful gifts, like time, instead. “No presents?!!”, listeners responded in horror. “What kind of a person doesn’t give presents to their family and friends at Christmas?!” But Martin made some fascinating points:

Traditionally, the giving of gifts has been a form of social banking that has moved money from the older, wealthier members of a community to the younger ones who are just starting out – for example, when presents are given in celebration of someone’s wedding or ‘coming of age’. At Christmas, when we all give presents to each other, the social banking function is no longer fulfilled – if you spend £10 on some bubble bath for me and I spend £10 on some chocolates for you, I’m effectively buying my own bubble bath and you’re effectively buying your own choccies!

When you buy someone a present, social niceties generally mean that they feel under pressure to buy something for you too. Fine if you can both afford it, but what happens if you’re better off than they are? Your generosity can actually end up creating financial hardship for them, as they spend money they may not have on a gift for you. Probably the last thing you’d want, but do you stop to think about it? Martin was suggesting that we give more careful consideration to our gift buying and, instead of throwing money at the situation, make more of an effort instead. The old-fashioned kind of effort, involving homemad marzipan fruits for grandad and a framed photo for grandma, that kind of thing.

I expect you can listen to the whole discussion on BBC iPlayer if you want to, but the comment that stood out the most for me was the one I’ve used as the title for this blog post: “Christmas is NOT a retail festival”. So how come we’re all rushing round like headless chickens trying to track down Go Go Hamsters and the like?!

I, for one, hate the thought that the retail giants (and probably their marketing and PR agencies too) are getting rich on the backs of ordinary hardworking mortals just wanting to make their children happy. Even if it is often self-inflicted, I can’t stand the pressure to always give bigger and better, to ‘up the ante’ every year. I’m disturbed by the great long Christmas list that my 5-year-old has already written, after hours spent poring over the toy catalogues. And I’m scared of disappointing her if I don’t deliver. Of course, the reality is that I – or should I say Father Christmas – probably will come up with the goods. Why? Because it’s quicker, easier and a whole lot less risky to pop into Argos with a credit card than it is to make something myself. I may not feel cash rich but, as a busy working mum, I definitely feel ‘time poor’. With the best will in the world, I’m not quite sure when I would be making that personalised patchwork quilt that I’d so love to give each of my girls? Probably at 3 in the morning. And can you imagine the horror of a crestfallen little face, as they realise it’s not a Go Go Hamster or a Playful Puppy or a Cicciobello Poorly Baby, it’s a bit of a mummy botch job?! Or would they “feel the love”? What do you reckon?!

"Ooooh ... THANKS mummy!"