Peter Rehberg direkt nach der Aufführung von Jerk.

I pull up to the local liquor store. Here we don’t need some sort of alcohol beverage control, but we do have to buy our alcohol all in one place. There’s no wine in the grocery stores and no beer at the convenience store. This is a very lively place with a staff that is always cool and calm to the point of appearing tired, but they’re always ready to serve. Their presume lethargy might have something to do with the fact they are right next door to a little place that packs a big alluring smell. Authentic Caribbean Jerk Beef cooking all day, every day.

When you pull up into the parking lot you see this sliver of a restaurant with burnt out plastic letters boasting simply: Caribbean Cuisine. Most times of the year the spices, flavors and smoke that fills the air, distract you instantly. It’s true and simple cooking from the islands. You might forget why you came.  It’s that gripping. It’s that tantalizing. Out front the beef is cooking. Many times the grill is left unattended, slow cooking as the smell wafts through the parked cars with delicate ease. When the weather is warm and the windows are down you can taste the smoke from a quarter mile down the road.

However, its now the late fall when the air is the thinnest. The aroma is as crisp and clear as the few remaining letters on the sign that hangs above the door. One small grill, a simple out dated charcoal grill out front taking up one parking spot. When a cook is out there, they take up the one next to it. They work like they’ve been doing it this way for years. Probably have. Same recipes, same grills, different parking lots.

JERK

From a novel by Dennis Cooper

Directed by Gisèle Vienne
Dramaturgy : Dennis Cooper
Original Music : Peter Rehberg and El Mundo Frio of Corrupted
Lights : Patrick Riou
Performed by and created in collaboration with : Jonathan Capdevielle
Recorded voices : Dennis Cooper and Paul P
Stylisme : Stephen OMalley and Jean-Luc Verna
Puppets : Gisèle Vienne and Dorothéa Vienne Pollak
Make-up : Jean-Luc Verna and Rebecca Flores
Costumes : Dorothéa Vienne Polak, Marino Marchand and Babeth Martin
Ventriloquism teaching : Michel Dejeneffe
Text translation from American to French : Emmelene Landon

Jerk is an imaginary reconstruction strange, poetic, funny and somber of the crimes perpetrated by American serial killer Dean Corll who, with the help of teenagers David Brooks and Wayne Henley, killed more than twenty boys in the state of Texas during the mid-70s.
This show sees David Brooks serving his life sentence. In prison, he learns the art of puppets, which somehow enables him to face up to his responsibility as partner in the crimes. He has written a show that reconstructs the murders committed by Dean Corll, using puppets for all the roles. He performs his show in prison for a class of psychology students from a local university.

The following bit of dialogue was part of a conversation (political debate?) I overheard recently at a local diner. The brief fragment that I caught, while standing and waiting for my lunch buddy to show up, involved the recent publication of a very popular book by an unsuccessful candidate for high office. My friend arrived and we were seated several booths away from the young couple in question, but as we ate I could still hear their voices, now coming through as only a soft rumble. From the tone I surmised that the Young Woman continued to dominate, as she had in the snippet that I had earlier overheard. Here it is:

Young Man: What I can’t understand is why the press gives that jerk so much attention.

Young Woman: Well, let’s say that Katie Couric and all those other news hounds  had ignored her — how would you have known that she’s a jerk?

Copyright © 2009 Jim Sizemore.

I feel like shit.

I wanted to tell West Coast that he hurt me. So I got up the courage to ask him to meet with me. He said sure, so I assumed that that was that.

But it’s never that simple with him. I went to his room and he wouldn’t answer the door. Then I texted him. He didn’t respond. So I called him. He picked up the phone and hung up.

Then he texted me something along the lines of “I don’t like you and I don’t want to see you.”

So naturally, I kept trying to convince him that we needed to talk, and naturally, he kept pushing back. So I gave up and said,

“I really wish I could hate you. But I can’t.”

I was at the smoking area at the time, so I sat there for a while. Then I went inside with my boyfriend and cried myself to sleep.

There isn’t enough alcohol or weed in the world to fill the hole that West Coast left. Nothing can make the hurt he left with me go away. I didn’t want to drink last night and I didn’t want to sleep, because I knew that when I woke up, the pain was still going to be there. And it was. But I was so exhausted that I couldn’t cry anymore.

I wish I could show him what he’s doing to me. But he doesn’t want to see any of the bad things he does, and that’s why (I believe) he was too afraid to see me yesterday.

He can’t face the truth.

But maybe that’s a sign that there’s still a good person in there somewhere. The good person who used to show through feels guilty, so he’s hiding. What I have to do is connect with the good in his heart. And I know it’s there.

I have so much love for him in spite of the horrible things he’s done to me. I’m not a perfect person though, and I can only take so much. But if this is coming to an end, it’s going to end on my terms.

It’s a battle of attrition now. He’s losing his friends over this, because even though he refuses to turn his head and see what’s happening to me, his friends see. And they care about me, and they look badly upon him for it. When everyone sees what he’s done and he has nobody to tell him he’s right, maybe he’ll see.

I wish he would just be the same person as he used to be. Sometimes I think he never was that person, but then I remember how we used to be and I know that somewhere in there, he cares.

I just scare him.

What last night made me realize, though, is that my boyfriend grounds me and stabilizes me. I need him in my life when terrible things happen, especially with WC. He was so wonderful to me last night, and I think it made our connection a little stronger. I love him and that’s something that will never go away.

Kay met Academy while waiting for some military training to start.  They were both assigned to the same working party, and had to spend time together for a week or so.  At first Kay hated Academy, he was too cocky, talked down to other people who had to work with them, and did not really contribute to the group.  Kay thought after the week was over she would never speak to Academy, but this was not the case.

Academy’s birthday was coming up, and he asked Kay to go out with some of his friends to watch a football game.  Kay agreed, and thought that maybe Academy and she would end up being friends.  At the game, Academy got pretty drunk, and Kay had to drive home, the entire time laughing hysterically at what a jerk Academy was.  The next night Kay was out at a local bar, and Academy happened to be there. Now that they were both drunk Kay decided she wanted to hook up with Academy, even though her first, second, and third impressions were not good.  Academy split a cab with Kay and her roommates, and then proceeded to just invite himself in, and went straight to Kay’s room.

When Kay entered the room Academy was already naked in Kay’s bed.  Kay was turned on by his assumption that they were going to have sex so she started stripping quickly.  Academy came off the bed, and when Kay was totally naked pushed her against the wall.  He put her arms over her head, and started to forcefully kiss her.  He then took one of her breasts in his mouth, and started to massage her clit with his free hand.  As soon as Kay started to get wet, Academy flipped her over, and entered her from behind.    No one had ever manhandled Kay like this before, and it slightly turned her on.  Academy then flipped her back over, and pushed her on the bed, taking her left leg and putting it behind his head.  As Kay lay with her right leg dangling off the bed, in a semi uncomfortable position, she realized that Academy did not actually care if she was enjoying herself, he just wanted to come.  He kept thrusting deeper and deeper, not paying any more attention to her, and when he was about to come, he pulled himself deeper inside of her.  Kay tensed her body to give him more friction, because she actually wanted Academy to have a good time, and when he finally released, he actually screamed out his own name. Apparently all guys are pompous assholes.

oyeahh, no more kmp for me. no regrets at all. & fyi, ive not been kicked out ok. pointer ws not even been out yet (lic that much about it anyway). im heading myself to uitm samarahan. but yet, im not that quite excited about it to. as i’ll be meeting lotsa peoples that ive been known for years & also some long lost friends that i would say might not even bother to welcome me there as they hv their own new friends now. (ohh, how sadd) but hold on! i dont care about them ok. seriously, i dont.

oyeahh, im in kl now. still dont know when i’ll be back to kuching yet. but im looking forward to get back ASAP. bcos i miss kuching like crazeyyyhh! (exaggerating)  

anywayy, ive been reading or just made a few glances to some random blogs. some are my friends & some are not. phew, nothing much to say. im  not gonna criticize any of them anyway. (for now) bcos i know that my blog ws not even that good. lol. i made it  just for fun & for expressing what i feel by typing it here. but im not gonna ever write anything that too personal here.  am i  just trying to be insecure here? 

others, i wonder, why there are this some people that i would say to busy getting into other peoples life that they are not supposed to be bothered at all. co’mon, stop being envy & plssss GET A LIFE! stop being mr/ms perfect here ok. you are not going to fix anything but you’ll only going to make people hate you. && 1 more thing, you are not cool & superduper stylo or something. JANGAN PERASAN OK!. & nobody posers you! lammy is the best word to describe you my dear.

Location:

170 Spadina Ave. Toronto

www.ackeetree.com/

I’ve not eaten a full meal at Ackee Tree.

The Jerk fries that I ordered were quite sadly limp and lacking in any real Jerk flavour, however, that said, my friends who ordered the chicken roti and BBQ chicken meals were more or less satisfied with their meals.

Here, the said orders:

Not so fresh Jerk Fries $4

Boneless Curry Chicken Roti $11.99

BBQ Chicken $10.95

I was fully pleased with my Old Jamaican Ginger Beer…especially when the first sip exploded with some tang! through my nasal cavity.

Always a fan of ginger beer..with sometang.

Old Jamaican Ginger Beer

I’ve not written off Ackee Tree, I can’t do that based only on fries…

I have a co-worker who is an absolute Bitch with a capital-B.  I shall refer to her by her given name, Ms Bitch.  Tonight, she did nothing but follow me around the store and check EVERYTHING I did.  She was looking for a reason to tell me I suck.  Plus, for some reason, she felt she did not need to say a single word to me except when she wanted me to clean up HER mess.

She was also a complete bitch to a regular customer tonight.  The customer had ordered a Peppermint Hot Chocolate.  Ms Bitch forgot to add peppermint to the drink and when the customer requested it, she said “No, there’s no peppermint.  So?”  I could not believe her!!!  You do not ever EVER say “So?” to a customer who is clearly right.  I mean, the peppermint was WRITTEN ON THE CUP.

I needed a moment to semi-rant about her.  She was so rude to every customer and to me tonight.  And she usually is.  Luckily, I found out two weeks ago she might not be working there past December because she can’t afford college.  Thank you JESUS HALLELUJAH if she doesn’t come back.

- Beckie

Kind of reminds me of that scene from Lord of the Rings, the really awesome one where the elf brings down an elephant by its earring....maybe this sport also needs some elves...

Some of the world’s craziest sports were definitely influenced by alcohol. They had to be—no way some of these strange games could have been created if people weren’t intoxicated.

One sport that admittedly was started after a “drunken lunch” was elephant polo. The game takes what is relatively normal in some places, polo, and adds the most powerful land animal on earth.

The World Series of Elephant Polo is played out for a week straight in Thailand, Nepal and Sri Lanka. It is truly a sight to see: goofy men seated atop elephants, being “driven” by mahouts (natives) with long mallets. The rest of the rules are pretty similar to normal polo. The biggest difference? Elephants are fast.

Watching them gallop around on the Discovery Channel doesn’t do justice to how fast they can be. The only problem with that is their girth doesn’t produce great results when they try to stop. Turning isn’t out of the question in elephant polo, but it takes a very skilled driver. Hence, the game takes a perpendicular pattern.

The sport is supposed to raise money for the conservation of elephants. I think the actual game is supposed to be a little bit of a joke, but I’m sure people out there take it very seriously.

Entering it’s 25^th year, they should spice it up a little. Put the elephants on steroids. Maybe give the competitors spears or something and then play until the death. That would really take it back to man and wild, humans and animals. And instead of all of the people being drunk while playing, slip the elephants a few shots of something. Of course, those things probably need $200 worth of liquor to feel a buzz, but nothing would draw more attention.

After a 4-3 OT win Scott Niedermayer gives his stick to a little girl in the seats when some jerk steals the stick from the girl.

A fight in the stands breaks out! Niedermayer comments afterwards.

Source:
http://www.hockeyvideohighlights.com/scott-niedermayer/fans-fight-over-scott-niedermayers-game-used-hockey-stick-video_4dc040542.html

I was reading Luke chapter 18 this morning. Verses 35 – 43 talks about an instance when Jesus heals a blind beggar. Nothing too unusual there. What struck me though, was the behavior of those with him (his entourage, of you will). There is a blind beggar sitting by the roadside, and when he hears that Jesus is passing by, he immediately starts crying out for Jesus to have mercy on him. Then here’s the part that gets me: “Those who led the way rebuked him and told him to be quiet”. These people have been traveling around with Jesus, listening to him teach, and watching him heal people. How many times when someone called out to Jesus did he say “Can someone shut that guy up? He’s bothering me.” How many times did they see Jesus sigh in exasperation before saying “Fine, I’ll heal you if you leave me alone.” Those things never happened, and Jesus never said those things! Every time someone called out to Jesus, he had compassion on them. He stopped what he was doing to listen to them, and many times to heal them. Jesus only showed love and compassion for people, not disdain. He was never too busy for someone; he put the needs of others before his own agenda. And yet, after all this time observing the person and character of Jesus, the people with him somehow thought that this beggar would be a bother to Jesus. Instead of seeing an opportunity for Christ to shine, instead of recognizing what Jesus was all about, they tell this poor blind beggar to shut up when he has a chance to be healed. What jerks!

How many times do we act the same way? We are supposed to be followers of Christ, we’ve seen his miracles, we’ve heard his teachings, and yet somehow we lose sight of what Jesus is all about. We feel prideful about our affiliation with Jesus, and we end up pushing others away in the process. Our prayer should not be “Lord thanks for letting me be part of your entourage.” It should be “Lord, please save this man as you have graciously saved me, a sinner.” Don’t lose sight of what Jesus was all about. Don’t be a jerk.

1800 PCF WOD

For Time:
21 Power Clean and Jerk, 135/95 lbs
Run 1 Lap
15 Power Clean and Jerk, 135/95 lbs
Run 2 Laps
9 Power Clean and Jerk, 135/95 lbs
Run 3 Laps

19:49 as Rx’d. My back was fried during the runs. Had to really think to get the shrug working on the cleans. Jerks weren’t difficult, cleans were.

Pre-WOD got some coaching on my pullups from Siddharth. He pointed out that if I start to lose my rhythm, it’s because I’m not pulling through at the bottom of the swing. Focus on pulling with the shoulders. He actually starts his kip with his shoulders instead of his feet.

So I just got out of the shower.

When I’m in the shower, it’s kind of like going inside my brain. I’m sifting through memories, “to-do” lists, daydreams, etc. I’m not even paying attention to my shower. It’s like my motor-skills are on “auto-drive” and i wash my hair and everything else without realizing it.

Sometime’s it’s good to think in the shower. It gets my head straight and I’m able to focus better on my schoolwork afterwards. Other times it brings back “bothers” and makes me grumpy.

Today was half-and-half.

I was kind of yelling at myself (figuratively lol) about how I’ve only started my homework but haven’t finished any of it. I have loads to do this weekend and have no time to write papers. yet here I am procrastinating. *sigh*. But I feel like doing my Biology homework once I’m done with this. (answer 6 questions about the Ocean Exhibit from the Natural History Museum? um hello, super easy!)

Then I got to thinking about my trip to Paris in January, which made me think of my friends in France, which made me think of boyfriends from France, which got me thinking about Mr. Reek. Oh Mr. Reek, what a trouble you are in my mind. Still. After a whole year. Actually, i think it’ll be exactly a year this friday. wow. Moron.

It’s so weird. Have you ever had memories that are more like flashes of a photo or something? I mean, I was just washing my hair then BAM out of no where I get this image of him from when we spent a weekend together. And it was only a little blip, so to speak.

What was this blip, you ask? It was quite random. It was from when he was changing into his PJ’s for the night. haha. Yeah, i thought it was kinda um strange creepy weird that he’d change in front of me and not in the bathroom. Don’t get me wrong, usually I have no problems with bf’s changing in front of me ;P ha! But this was our first day together, in person. So, literally, we had only been around each other in person for like 8 hours and here he is taking off his clothes right there in the middle of the room and I’m like “uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”. Hahahaha.

Sure, make fun of me for appearing to still be in the 19th century when it comes to etiquette, but I was quite shocked for this young man to blatantly take his clothes off in front of a lady.

 At least he had his back to me.

 But I know that was because he was shy, not because he was being polite. (How the hell can you take your clothes off in front of someone just like that and yet still feel shy to show yourself from the front?! freak.) I, on the other hand, have my dignity to think of, and I had the courtesy to change in the bathroom. Silly boy.

Anyway, why am I going on about this? Well, because the blip I had jump out from my sub-conscious was from the moment he took his shirt off. This may sound totally weird, but damn he had a hot back. haha!

What? Yeah, i didn’t really understand why that was my first reaction either. Lol. “Woo hot damn his back is fiiine” was basically what I was thinking xD

He had been doing Kung Fu and Thai boxing for years. Not to mention he had been swimming like crazy for the past few months. So he was pretty fit and nicely sculpted. Like the statue of David but without the slight gay-ness the statue brings forth (in my opinion it does ha!)

So thinking of his hot back while in the shower sucked. I know right? Of all places! Ew. Luckily/unfortunately as well, this blip made my mind jump AGAIN to more memories. Mostly the memories of him not talking to me anymore and me being broken-hearted. haha boo hiss. So I got to thinkin: “hey, it’s been almost a year. And I’ve only heard from him like 6 times at most since last November. WTF. Wait…we’re still facebook friends! Aw hell no that is an insult. Fuck this once i’m out of the shower I’m gonna tell him where to get off, the jerk.”

Damn straight I did! Wrote him a small insincere facebook message, I did. Basically it said this (English translation):

“Ummmm hi what’s up

so yeah Ive been annoyed with facebook lately, and I’ve been deleting a lot of friends whom neither of us are really friends anynmore (i mean what’s the point, right?)

So I asked myself if we really needed to be friends. Because clearly it doesn’t matter.

So ummm yeah just thought you should know.

Hope things are good with you, as for me i’m super busy getting ready to study abroad so i don’t have time for anything

c ya”

mwahaha. Jerk. So yeah yeah yeah, I know what you might be thinking. No matter how cruel or whatever someone has been to me, I still am polite. So i didn’t flat out say what i was truly thinking. I alluded to stuff. Did you notice I didn’t say i was studying abroad to PARIS, where he is? well duh. as if i want him to know that. And by saying i’m too busy it’s my way of saying “HEY! I totally don’t care if you ever respond or not because chances are you won’t since you never do and besides I don’t give a crap ah hah hah!” If I was a very rude person, I would have said THIS instead:

“ummmmmmmmm hi you big jerk

so yeah it’s been a frickin year since we last saw each other and since then you’ve been a huge dick and I totally hate you. Soooooo with that it mind, I realized why the hell am i still facebook friends with a insincere, lying, deceitful, disrespectful moron? The answer is i’m NOT friends with an insincere, lying, deceitful, disrespectful moron.

Get it? No?

ok whatever. goodbye forever loser!!

kthxbai”

haha. But really, I know….why am I even giving him a notice? I don’t know. It’s that whole polite-thing i guess…

What a jerk. Tuh. The best part of all this is that I don’t care anymore. I refuse to think about the pain he caused me. I’m super happy with how i turned out lol.

 So i’ve been single for a long time, so what? Since last November, I’ve gotten an award for a film I was in. I made the Dean’s list (mwahaha!). I’ve messed around with a bunch of cute guys and yet didn’t have to be forced into a commitment (which seems to be my preferred state these days). My friend and I saved a baby shark named Sharkie (yay!). I moved into the house I’ve been wanting to move into for months. I got my butt into a prestigious french university.

And what has he done? Dated another girl, broke up with her too. Went to school. and more school. And school. Did i mention school?

Kiss ma butttttt! Sucka!

Well, that’s my rant for today. The anger and pain will still bubble up from time to time, but generally all is good. Tomorrow is the parade, frickin sweet. More work to do, but heck its better to just do it (Nike!) than bitch and moan about the work. Chyeah.

**EDIT: wow so like wtf he answered within 30sec of me sending it. Gee thanks God. Of all the times where it took him months to respond to a stupid letter, he has to answer before i even get the chance to refresh the page. wtf. Ha so yeah his response went something like this:

“ohhh yeahhh hey! omg i actually texted you like 2 weeks ago to give you my new number and to see how’ve you been! Miss you! Oh if you don’t want to be facebook friends, well, it’s up to you, i understand. *kiss*”

um. seriously? no. Where to start. Where. To. Start.

1) Hell the fuck no you don’t miss me. ha! Well ok, let’s look at it this way, sir. If you do miss me, then where the hell have you been in the past 360 days huh?! Psh. don’t give me that.

2) Are you seriously still going on about the phones. Ok, for everyone else, let me catch you up on this: the 2nd time we went to NYC togther we had total txt/phone problems. it turned out to be from his phone being a french service and mine being american. I told him it doesn’t make sense to txt each other since we can’t recieve them. So he was like “oh! i see. ok then!”…then a month later i get a e-mail “hey! i texted you, did you get it???” me: “UMM NO remember we cant text each other!” him: “oh! yeah, ok. no more txts.”…….in April, i was frustrated that he would just stop talking to me so i asked him through e-mail “hey, why don’t we talk anymore? I mean we have been such great friends, i don’t know why you don’t answer my e-mails anymore, it kind of hurts.” oh of course, he responds a month later saying “ohhh but i texted you and you never answered!” OMG seriousy. I told him AGAIN “yeah, we can’t text each other anymore!!!!! ok!?” him: “ah! yes yes! ok, i will stop”.

So ummmmmmmmmm yeah. Why are you telling me you texted me 2 weeks ago? really? really. and besides, why would you coincidentally have tried to get in touch with me for once? and only through the phone and not through e-mail or facebook? are you trying to make it look like i’m the one who isn’t keeping up our friendship? idiot!

3) you “understand” if i don’t want to be your facebook friend….? um….? so, are you finally admitting to being a huge jerk who ditched me without any prior notice? orrr….what? what are you saying? If you really do understand then why won’t you man up and just say it? Or are you just making up something like the phone-issue from Reek-Land that only you comprehend?

4) so i’m not surprised by the *kisses* atb the end since thats what everyone does in france at the end of a informal message. But still. After the shit we’ve been through? you’re acting still acting like nothings ever changed between us?!!?!??

FYI this boy (he is NOT a man. clearly. he is still a boy. if even that much.) can’t get it through his thick brooding head that I am not on amicable terms with him. After all, he was the one who just suddenly stopped answering my e-mails. He was the one that hooked up with his school friend just weeks after we last saw each other. He’s the one that will never apologize for hurting me, even though i had made it quite clear to him on several occasions that he hurt me and i would like to know what was going on.

I…just don’t understand him. And there was a time where that would make me want to cry and attack hit shred beat him up. But time has passed and I accept that he’s in his own little world and he ain’t foolin nobody but himself. I had to find out on my own that he was seeing another girl, and allll that. He didn’t still doesn’t have the balls to own up and tell it to my face. fine. i won’t respect you either. that’s clearly what you’re doing. so leave.

Dumb boy. Oh well sucks for him to be a moron (who is now single, might i add! good riddens!)

Well, my house smells like its burning. I guess I should go tend to that.

I fail to see the good thing when people dont ask my ID when i buy alcohol or go to a bar.
Cos it means i look old,. alot older then the age limit.. I do don’t i?

But still allot of my long distance family friends are like “WHAt are you already THAT old, noooo u can’t.”
When they get to know i’m allready a adult.

But then again i go asked to do a test for 35+..
but.im.17.years.for.young.for.that.IDIOTS!

But then again i fall for a bit older guys, like 19-29..
Last week i talked to a nice aboutly 26 year old guy..
I liked him, but he might be to old for me?
Cos that’s aboutly 8 years away…

I thought he looked my age…
He wasn’t that hot, he was just nice and thoughtful…
Not a jerk wannabee as the people in my age..

So is it ok to look older and is it okay to like older guys?

I’m going to talk about anonymity. Online anonymity and what people act like when anonymous.

Before I go on, if you are new to MLM or just researching any other info. Craigslist forums is NOT the the place to do it. Just “google it”.

I visited a forum recently where I was new. Most of the time, most forums have what you might call a “queen bee” which is typically a female or on occasion you might even get the odd guy trying to be the “boss of the board” so to speak. Typically however, it’s women. Maybe we can examine why later. For now, lets talk about their online behaviors.

Anonymity affords many people an opportunity to “show their true colors” and not face the consequences. Maybe to their family, they’re the nice, self respecting mom of who knows how many kids and wife of who knows who. BUT, online under the guise of either fake names or as it appears to be on Craigslist “Gray Handles”, they can be who they “really are”. Nasty and hostile to those of us who might find success when they do not. I found that who they really are happens to be extremely rude, nasty and unprofessional at best.  Of course not all gray handles are created equal. I have met some who actually had a positive contribution. Consequently, those turned out to be men. Now, keep in mind that I “assume” the ones I talk about were female because the rest of their posting history was in “women’s issues”, “romantic this or that” or whatever. One even mentioned her husband. They seemed to be just simply rude to most everyone, especially new people.

Now I wonder, how would they behave online if we actually knew who they really were? Had their names and phone numbers? My guess is they would behave much differently. After all, they wouldn’t call somebody at the grocery store who didn’t behave the way they thought they should, face to face, an idiot would they? Of course not. Keep in mind there are many reasons to be anonymous online however, much of the time, it’s simply because they’re to chicken shit to state their mind in their own identity. Me, I am okay with stating my opinion and speaking my mind. I don’t need to rely on the veil of anonymity. Those who post trashy things and insult people who are simply seeking help, doing research and asking questions, while they themselves hide under the guise of anonymity or some fake name have ZERO credibility and more often than not, lack any kind of control in their own lives.

Let me tell you this, if I give you a bitch out, it will come from me, me directly in my own name and not while I’m hiding behind a wall so you can’t see me. If I give you praise, it will come from me, me directly and not while hiding behind a wall so you can’t see me. If you linked here from Craigslist, you know who the “Gray Handle Brigade” is and know this, they really are powerless people in their own lives and if they truly believed sincerely and openly what they say they wouldn’t need to hide their identity. To the Gray Handle Brigade, F-You! Stop being so insulting, degrading and demeaning to new people who just want to know things, expand their breadth of knowledge and have questions to ask. You clearly are NOT the queen bee in your own life or you would not need to be that way online and hide while you’re at it. Get off your fat asses and be real with us if you want even an ounce of credibility because when you hide behind the walls of anonymity, insulting others and being demeaning to them it tells me you are afraid to speak your mind in your own identity and are a very weak person in real life. Sorry about you and your weakness. To me and those of us like me who do NOT feel the need to hide, good for us! We actually are strong enough to speak our minds and share our thoughts in our own identity because we don’t have to worry about who we are. We aren’t nasty, rude people like those who insult while hiding behind the wall. Like those who throw stones while outside of our view, in fear. You’re a chicken.

I realize that it was only a week ago when I promised not to make this a husband-bashing blog.  I really meant to keep that promise but I need to voice my frustration in some way other than throwing laundry at my husband’s head.  (Note: I am an advocate of laundry-throwing.  Be aware that laundry, because of its light weight, is good to throw because it’s not likely to hurt anyone, but frustrating to throw because it can’t travel far.  Just be prepared to be more annoyed than you already were once you throw those socks dramatically toward the intended target.  Those socks will fall short.)

To the two or three readers I have out there (most of whom are related to me), this might be my last post in what has been a short lived experience.  I wanted to write tonight about the holidays.  I have been campaigning to have this set of November through New Year’s holidays be extended family-free.  My husband finally has a more lifestyle-friendly job and we’re finally getting settled in to our new house.  I thought it would be nice to celebrate the holidays quietly in the comfort of our home.  Also, my husband and I have had some not-so-stellar holidays over the past decade – some were awful because of my husband’s work schedule and some were awful because of the melodramas staged by various relatives.

Now, I realize that I have relatives who are aware of this blog.  Some even read it!  To those relatives: I know that some of you like me, some of you love me, and some of you simply tolerate me because you feel you have to, because I’m family.  My post in defense of the family-free holiday was going to be as light-hearted as possible.  While I was going to refer to past holiday dramas, I was going to be, as Fox News would say, fair and balanced in my retelling.  (However, unlike Fox News, I actually was going to be fair and balanced.)  I started the new, “family-free holiday” post and was happy with the introduction.   I proudly turned to my husband and said, “Read this and tell me what you think!”.  I suppose this was an unfair demand.  My husband knew I didn’t want to hear anything too negative or too critical.  I thought it was a pretty good post – a good mix of humor and pathos, if I say so myself.

After my husband finished reading said post, he got that sour look.  I’m sure you know the look – mouth turned down, dull eyes, the “I’m angry at you but I won’t say why because I prefer the passive-aggressive route” look.  My husband is really good at that look, as are a few other family members.  After asking him repeatedly what the problem was, he finally got around to saying that he was worried that some of our family members were going to be annoyed after reading the post.

Some of our family members were going to be annoyed.  No shit.  Annoying certain family members is easier than brushing my teeth.  My argument was, as it is in so many cases, who cares?  They’re family.  They’re going to be annoyed.  That’s what families do.  I really was going to keep the post neutral; I wasn’t going to drag up every sordid detail of past encounters with relatives.  Like I’ve said before, I’m not a complete monster.  But I love this blog.  It’s soothing for me.  It lets me write, an activity I’ve let lie dormant for too long.  It lets me map out my thoughts in a constructive way.  It eases tension, which in turn keeps me from looking to other sources for stress relief (read: cigarettes; yes, dear readers, I was a smoker for a long time).

Does your spouse ever worry more about relatives’ feelings than your own?  Why do you think that is?  I mean, your spouse has to live with you, not those relatives.  You’re the one who is there for your spouse day in and day out, during good days and bad, so shouldn’t your feelings matter more?  I’m sure I’m sounding terribly childish, so I’ll move on.

I’ve edited my other posts countless times to make sure there’s nothing that could be misconstrued by a family member.  This post was going to be no different.  But my husband implied that maybe I should just write about generic topics instead of risking hurting the feelings of loved (or at least tolerated) ones.

That’s boring.  And pointless.  And if I write about all things neutral, I’m going to run out of things to write about by tomorrow.  I’m just not that creative.  So, if I can convince my husband that we’re all grown ups and that no one is going to suffer long-term damage from my posts, I’ll keep writing about the joyous and not-so-joyous moments in my life (and that includes the occasional complaint about family).  If not, I’m just going to have to turn this blog into something very sad in my opinion – a blog about shopping (which will be short lived, since I do the bulk of my shopping at WalMart and therefore don’t have many exciting tips) or how awesome Sarah Palin is (which she isn’t) or what tricks you can use to snag a great guy (and I don’t know any good tricks).

Let’s hope my husband sees the light.  Because as annoyed as I am with him right now, he is still my best friend and I don’t want my blog to be a source of anxiety for him.  If he doesn’t see the light, I have a whole pile of laundry at the ready.

Today’s prescription from CFB for strength was a 5×3 jerk. I don’t like jerks (hehe. Jerks.), as they are something from the hopper that I dread. I can press a lot more than I can jerk, which irritates me because it should be the other way around. I got:

45×3 (warm up)
65×3
70×3
75×3
80×3
85×3

Meh.

I then went on to the metcon, which I had to scale, three rounds for time of:

-20 box jumps
-15 KTE (I did 10 and even then had to pyramid them 4-3-2-1)
-10 thrusters with 30% BW in each hand (LOL, yeah right. I did 25# in each hand which was fine)

All told, 11:22. My hands are pretty sore from doing pull-ups and dips all night. I did them every hour at 15 minutes past until about three in the morning, when I reached muscle failure and my hands hurt so much I had to stop. I had wicked bad callouses today that got razored down. Tomorrow’s a rest day so I am going to give my whole shoulder girdle a break, not to mention my poor hands.

I am headed for Boston early Saturday morning and am hoping to pay Alex and CFB a visit, but it’s up to my mom. We’ll see.

It counts as cardiovascular exercise if your heart races right?

I’m a fiend. I can admit that. It really is a disease, this video game stuff. I know it is not really a sport, but to me it is. I am always in the pursuit of perfection. I search for ways to better my skills. I can work on a team or by myself. I even sometimes sweat when I play.

I’ve been playing video games forever, but I started living them in college. My friends and I went through ridiculous sessions of the NBA 2k series. We skipped dinners to play. We had player introductions with the lights out. And there was this one time we bet $100 dollars, double or nothing, on a game. It was, is, crazy. So much so that someone did a documentary on our “psychoness.”

She's not angry, she's passionate, my kind of girl...

I remember when I knew I was over the edge. It was my sophomore year and I had just lost a game to my roommate. I probably lost by some type of combination of cheating/being killed by glitches. I took out my mp3 player and some headphones, not saying a word to anyone in the room, and stormed out of the dorm. I went on like a 45-minute walk around campus, blasting some of the angriest music I’ve ever heard in an attempt to cool down. I still get shit for that.

And then there was this time during my senior year after I lost to the same kid (him and I had some very nasty battles—he never really took it all seriously, but I did) and decided I couldn’t take his flaunting and exaggeration of his abilities. So I wrote him a suicide note on our white board. I told him no one liked him and he should just end it all. I apologized the next day thankfully.

After not having any dreams or daydreams for the past few weeks it seems that they’ve come back. Though I can’t say it’s a causative, there seems to be a correlation between me sleeping (actually sleeping) with women and having creative energy. I hadn’t cuddled with someone for some time and then, the night I did, I had two dreams and have since been being hit during the daytime as well.

YES, MORE WOMAN MUSE PLEASE.

This dream I had last night was remarkable. It was myself, Tristan, and Michael Offerman at a massive dance party. There were some other friends there, but I don’t remember their faces or names, just the feeling. The party had been going for some time when Tristan started to do the Reject. This was no ordinary Reject, though, and as he did it (the Reject is like a backwards Running Man dance move) he actually traveled backwards around the room. Soon he was Rejecting around like an Olympic speed skater, and Offerman and I decided it was high time we joined him.

We began Rejecting around until we caught up with him, and by this time had attracted some more dancers. We were all Rejecting in this giant circle around the circumference of the dance floor when a really absurdly awesome thing happened. Instead of simply doing the Reject in sync, we all sat on each others’ legs, forming this giant Rejecting train of perfectly synchronized people. Eventually the entire dance party joined in and we were one massive, human train of Rejection.

It was so absurd and beautiful that I woke up from it giggling.

Those last two posts where… self-indulgent.

Also, I was drunk when I wrote them.

It’s mostly sarcasm.

A friend of mine was thrifting today in the Gramercy district and in following her around, I found dentist chairs and an exercise video of dancing grandmothers.

I figured since I am constantly getting either chats/emails sent my way or stumbling across random articles and videos, I should post them for my beloved followers! Well, here is your list today.

• Where airplanes go to die: The Mojave Desert
• Photo evidence of Spiderman being arrested.
• A drunk man steals a giraffe, a lot.
• The worst predictions of 2010: Newsweek
• The full 35 min Assassin’s Creed lineage video: G4TV
• Gaddafi tries to convert girls to Islam – but only the hot ones: BBC
• Michigan Militia is growing, thanks to Call of Duty! CNN

And for all those who aren’t working today (cough cough Gen cough), practice your jerking!