So we did not get expelled or suspended or anything.  The Dean couldn’t prove anything, because my roommate, Jessi, was the only left in the room when he showed up.  And since she’d been drinking wine coolers, she was golden.

But we were still bitter towards Stacy, the girl who narced us out.

A month or two later, my friend Karina and I found a broken pinata by the dumpsters next to the dorm.  It was a Mexican man, with his arms stuck out like Frankenstein.  His neck was broken, so his head was separated from his body.

We were so amused by this, we took both the head and the body up to our floor.  We named our new floor mascot, Pepe, and hung his head in the common bathroom, while propping up his body on top of the common fridge in the kitchen.

Apparently, Stacy thought we were satanic, and told her little “friends” on the floor below us, that she was praying for us.  These friends thought it was hilarious, so they of course, told us about what she’s said.

(She probably also thought we were satanic, because we would blast Rob Zombie to mess with her head.)

About a month later, Pepe’s head and body mysteriously disappeared.  And we were convinced that it was Stacy who threw him away.

So being the immature assholes that we were, we started harassing her about Pepe.  We left messages on the white board on her front door, asking “WHERE IS PEPE’S HEAD!?!?”

And we took it one step further.  Since it was a small campus, all students, professors, and employees had their own mailboxes.  We could send mail to other people on campus for free.  All we had to do was put the person’s name and mailbox number on something, and the mailroom would deliver it to their mailbox.

(This of course was used for legitimate things, like professors returning papers or tests to us.  But we used it to send random things to each other, just to see if the mailroom would deliver it.  My favorite thing to send to people were mini-pumpkins I’d steal from the decorations in the cafeteria.)

Anyway, since we could look up Stacy’s mailbox number in the school directory, we sent her anonymous messages in the mail asking, “WHERE IS PEPE’S HEAD!?!?!”

This continued into my sophomore year too.  Karina transferred to Oregon State that year, and she sent anonymous postcards to Stacy through the regular mail too.

Our thirst for vengeance was not quenched though, even after 2 years.  Once I transferred to Oregon State, any time I went back to visit my old University, I’d send notes to Stacy in the mail.

Part of me looks back on us harassing her, and I’m embarrassed I was such a bitch to that poor girl.  But the other part of me laughs, when I think of how freaked out she must have been to get these notes in the mail for YEARS.  Can you imagine?  I’d be so freaked out if I were her.

During my freshman year of college (at the Christian College), I became friends with the all girls who lived at my end of our dorm hallway.  All of them, except for the girl who lived by herself at the very end, since she thought we were heathens.  (I will name her “Stacy”.)

Right before Christmas, the school threw a “Holiday Hoedown” at a lodge up in the mountains.  My friends and I didn’t attend.

People's Evidence #1

Instead, we got some older boys to buy us beer and wine coolers, and had a little party in my dorm room.  During our drinking games, I ended up being the most drunk out of everyone, since one game involved making up rules as the game progressed.  And the first rule made, was that I had to drink whenever anyone else did.  We also had a beer bong, which my friend’s boyfriend borrowed from his roommate, and brought over to us.

Now, the fact we were drinking could have gotten us expelled, since we signed a covenant saying we would not drink as long as we were students there.  Even professors and students over the age of 21 could not drink.

Of course, we were idiots and did this on campus in our dorm.

At one point, we all had to pee.  Since I’d had 8 beers (Ol’ Camel Bladder, here), I was trying really hard to keep quiet and act nonchalant as we made our way to the shared bathrooms.  Jessi, my Filipina roommate (who’d only been drinking the Bartles and James), would not shut the hell up.

As soon as she saw our Cambodian friend walk onto our hall she screeched, “WELCOME THE AAAASIAN PERSUAAAAASION!”

People's Evidence #2

Stacy overheard this, and she apparently saw my friend’s boyfriend walking onto our hall with the beer bong.  Since our Resident Advisor was at the Hoedown, she went downstairs and told on us to the RA of that floor, after we made it back to my room.

The RA pounded on the door and we scrambled to hide all the beer.  As someone opened the door, I grabbed a day-old Slurpee sitting on my desk to rid my mouth of the beer smell.  I also noticed that my closet door was open with a beer can sitting inside of it, as well as a bottle cap that was laying on the carpet.

SOMEHOW, the RA didn’t smell the beer that Drunken Chamuca had spilled on the carpet earlier.  She didn’t notice anything was suspicious at all, since Stacy had told her that Jessi was the one drinking.  The rest of us were clear.

So the RA smelled Jessi’s breath, which only smelled like wine coolers.  She told all of us that she was calling the dean of the school, and he would come there to deal with us.

The RA left, so we all got the hell off of campus.  He can’t prove we were drinking, if we’re not there right?

How we got our revenge on Stacy, tomorrow . . .

Way to keep a secret, guys

Summary: The BSC girls – mainly Jessi – start sitting for a deaf kid named Matt Braddock. Jessi learns sign language to communicate with him, and unwittingly starts a trend around town, as the other kids the BSC girls sit for want to learn how to talk silently. This also helps them bond with Matt and his sister Haley, who usually has to serve as an interpreter. Jessi’s also dealing with her ballet classmates, as some of them don’t like her because she’s young, talented, and/or black. One of her classmates has a sister who’s deaf, and Jessi’s sign language shenanigans help them connect.

Thoughts: Sorry your first book is so boring, Jessi. Also, if millions of people know sign language, is it still a secret?

The following Ann M. Martin Baby-Sitter’s Club books are currently on sale at Books From A Rose:

Baby-Sitters at Shadow Lake (Baby-Sitters Club Super Special, Used from $0.01

Tiffany's sulking

 Star King, why? I just don’t understand. Why? Wae o wae? Why oh why did you get two gheis and a girl who gets shy around males to dance with hot sexy guys? It’s not even fair! I don’t even like chocolate*, but I don’t mind touching them! 

See, that’s why Tiffany was all sulky and possessive of Jessica that whole filming. I’ve got more pictures to prove it, but they’re too big and I hate linking. So I guess they knew they had to put on a face and dance around with hot boys. But hey, at least they made the best of it and made it look realistic! What good sports.

I don’t know what else is going on in the episode except that for some reason, Jessica is holding a picture of Manber from Eff of Ex. And then I got to thinking (and we all know how good I am at that!)…

>>Full Image<< See, Jessica has figured out how very clever Manber. Mznber has this plan to take all the pretty and innocent Kpop youngin’s one by one (she’s friends with all of them! and she knows their sex hormones are all crazed so they’re an easy target really). She starts her plan off by attracting them with her “cute” boyish style, showing them that she’s cool and friendly. It’s like the perfect combination for a girl! The innocent guy that is easy to talk to!

*Chocolate abs – Korea’s new word of the season. I guess they no longer use the M-Line lol

Credit: Prot0530 @YT

things are coming together; we’ve got some plans to rear-project the piece from the two front bay windows of our apartment for streetside viewing.  we’ve got a meeting in a few days with the proprietors of a beautiful home-gallery space.  thanksgiving craziness has come and gone.  other projects and plans have been accomplished in addition to the proximity piece and i still find it funny how time gets distorted and compressed into these tiny, saturated spaces between all else.  and though i spent a good 7 hours trying to accumulate enough bird footage to turn the screen black with layers and i more or less failed, i still end up feeling good… because you always have to wade through the shit to get to the good stuff.

onward!

This week on The Aftershow, Stacie called in for her first non Hills TV appearance ever. Dan and Jessi were excited to bust her TV cherry.

They talked about Stacie assuming the awful role of third wheel on a trip that was supposed to be a “girls trip”. She ended up out of place in a Vegas hotel between Justin and Kristin. But, if you think about it, it’s really not that weird of a role for her considering the fact that she’s totally random and out of place on theHills in every episode.

Stacie wasn’t mad that Kristin invited Justin because MTV told her to because Stacie thinks “Justin is great”. If we didn’t have a glimmer of hope that Stacie wasn’t as silly as some of her counterparts, we’d say Stacie has a thing for Justin. She said she’d take Justin over Brody, and continuously raved over how “hot” he is.

Stacie also said she tries to bartender at The Dime as often as she can, but now that she’s a big star going to Vegas and filming you know, there’s no time. She seems to have the “work when I want” schedule that all the greats before her like Lauren, Whitney, Audrina and Heidi have had.

Finally, Stacie discussed being 1/2 of the first Hills girl on girl kiss ever. Dan and Jessi asked the big question: is Kristin a good kisser? Tune in for the answer.

I don't think this hair salon is on the up-and-up

Summary: Now that Stacey’s back in New York, the club needs a new member, and Mallory is the most fitting candidate. However, she’s two years younger than the other girls, and the club has been burned in the past by bad sitters, so they go to extremes to make sure she’ll work out. They give her a ridiculous test (including questions about tourniquets, the human digestive system, and other subjects that the girls later admit they themselves know nothing about), blame her for an accident that broke her younger brother’s finger, and watch her like a hawk on a trial sitting job. Ultimately, when the girls announce that they don’t want Mallory in the club, she realizes that they’re complete jerks and she doesn’t want to hang out with them anyway.

Mallory has recently met a new girl at school, Jessi Ramsey, who understands how she feels about being an outside because she’s black. (Apparently suburban Connecticut in the ’80s was the equivalent of everywhere else in the U.S. in the ’50s. I’m surprised Jessi’s allowed to eat in the cafeteria with the other kids.) They bond over horse books and their love of kids, and decide to start their own sitting club. It doesn’t go very well, and the BSC girls still need someone to replace Stacey, so they decide that they were too hard on Mallory and invite both her and Jessi to join. Happy ending!

Thoughts: As irritating as Mallory is later in the series, and for as much grief as I give her, she’s not horrible in this book. I give her major credit for basically noticing that Jessi’s black and then letting it go. She wants a best friend and she doesn’t care what that person looks like. The other girls in the club also barely react to Jessi’s skin color. They even agree that if any family they sit for doesn’t want Jessi as a sitter, they’ll stop working for that family. Maybe the BSC girls can solve some problems in other countries.

Interestingly, Mallory isn’t yet a redhead. She says everyone in her family has dark brown hair. Apparently the cover artist didn’t get that memo, though, since she has red hair on the cover.

Jessi and Mallory name their sitting club Kids Incorporated. Fergie and Jennifer Love Hewitt aren’t invited to join.

Claudia tells Mallory to give kids healthy snacks. Irony!

Speaking of Claudia’s eating habits, she and Dawn have a heated exchange about junk food while Claudia’s looking for a misplaced package of Ring-Dings. I think it officially kicks off Dawn’s transformation into Earth-worshipping granola-loving sun-goddess Dawn:

“Did one of you guys take it?” Claudia asked accusingly.

“Are you kidding? That trash?” replied Dawn. “I wouldn’t touch it with a ten-foot pole. You know, you’re going to rot your teeth, Claudia. Your face is going to break out and people will call you–.”

“They will call me happy,” Claudia interrupted her, “because that’s what I am when I eat Ring-Dings. So you can just stop lecturing me about food. If I ate health food, I’d probably turn into a rabbit like you. A skinny, pale rabbit.”

Kristy may be a businesswoman, but she doesn’t seem to grasp the concept of free enterprise. She can’t get over the idea of Mallory and Jessi starting their own sitting club. They’re not even the first rival sitting club. Chill out, Kristy.

Mallory has the weird outfit in the book: a “red jumper that said Mallory across the front, a short-sleeved white blouse, and white tights with little red hearts all over them.” Is she 11 or 4? vanessa tells her she looks like a valentine. Zinged by a 9-year-old!

I ganska många veckors tid har jag pratat om festen som vi faktiskt hade nu i helgen. De flesta glada ZoNare var där och hade allmänt trevligt, men inte jag. De flesta undrar säkert varför, och svaren är enkla, men ganska många.

Vi kan börja med onsdagen, ett rent helvete för mig, blev bokstavligen utsparkad ur huset, så jag knatade till Fors (3,7 km) för att kunna ta mig till Becka och kanske få ett ställe att sova på. Det fick jag och kunde äntligen andas ut. Denna händelse gjorde att jag inte kunde koncentrera mig riktigt i skolan. Men där va jag inte särskilt länge, hade turen att jag skulle sova över hos Bobbin på kvällen, första gången jag var där och så sov jag över. Jag tycker att det är scary, fast jag överlevde så jag får väl anta att det inte var så farligt ändå. Han gör världens godaste pannkakor, bara så att ni vet. Vid åtta-tiden väcktes jag av att nån (gissa vem) petade på mig så att jag skulle vakna, inte jättebehagligt, men det funkade. Senare åkte vi iväg för att byta bil och hämta upp Tina. Vi skulle ut och shoppa! Så vi åkte iväg till City Gross för att införskaffa köttfärs, majs (mumsigt), gurka, dricka… Ja, allt som var nödvändigt för att festen skulle bli så awsome som möjligt.  Sedan var det bara att åka tillbaka till folkets hus och packa upp varorna. Sedan kom det ytterligare ett mindre helvete, vi skulle röja på Nolvinden. Det stod både koppar och gammalt godis framme, bord, stolar, fotöljer och en massa annan bråte stod framme. Så större delen av kvällen gick åt till att röja, så att vi tillslut skulle kunna pynta iordning. Det tog även det sin tid och jag var nog hemma efter 21 tror jag. Så det var väldigt skönt att gå och lägga sig.

Sedan var det Lördag och dags för festen me stort F (undrar varför man säger så egentligen…). Först var det bestämt att vi (jag, Jessi och Tina, Bobbin hade spelning på kvällen dök kom senare) skulle samlas vid 13, detta ändrades till 14, men Jessi och Tina var en halvtimme sena. Sedan var det bara att göra iordning det sista för att kunna ta emot alla. Sedan var det bara att sätta sig ner att äta, duka undan, köra lekar, äta efterrätt och läsa upp diplom. Hade gått hur bra som helst om det inte vore för att en styck Jessi vägrade göra någonting som skilde henne från sin älskade Johan, vilket innebar att jag fick höra all skiten. Visst det var kul, men hon var ledaren. Fick höra att JAG hade arrangerat allting jättebra, det var ju hon som skulle ha gjort det. Denna fråga pyrde under hela kvällen, natten får man nog säga, tills jag helt enkelt inte orkade vara i samma rum som någon. Jag gick helt enkelt ut till våran hångelhörna och fick efter en stund sällskap av Bobbin (han kom i lagom tid till glassen) och även Emely. För första gången på flera timmar kunde jag slappna av, jag hade kul på riktigt och det var väldigt skönt. Blev en hel del flum och misstolkningar, som det av någon mystisk anledning alltid blir när Bobbin är i närheten. Tillslut så bestämde vi oss för att det var dags att sova, klockan var runt 05:15. Sedan vaknade man av att en styck Emely sparkade på en för att hon hade något mycket viktigt att säga, vad nu det var… Sedan var det bara att knata bort till till folkets hus, äta en god tacofrukost för att sedan plocka ihop på både folekts hus och Nolvinden.

Det var väl festfixandet i stort. Får nog knata till sängs nu, försov mig i morse rätt rejält… //MollBarn

Audrina joins the crew via satellite to discuss her relationship with Justin, her friendship with Lauren and the advice you didn’t hear her give Heidi about babies. She says she wasn’t as blank faced as the producers would have us think; she actually did offer some advice at lunch with Heidi.

As for Audrina’s own dysfunctional relationships, we’ve heard all about Audrina and Lauren and Audrina and Justin. The latter is almost nauseating now. Audrina tries to explain the dinner with Justin where he dissed her for Kristin, but nothing coherent really comes out. She does say that she has only seen him one time since he rejected her on TV. Said meeting will be on the finale.

That doesn’t jive with what she said on her website. She recently said they were trying to work it out.

Audrina also says that she could see Mila Kunis playing her in L.A. Candy since she did a spoof on Audrina before. It was perfection we might add. She could see Christine Taylor playing Lauren.

Also, The After Show host Jessi’s charity dress auction has raised more than they expected; they have enough to adopt and support an entire village. Audrina’s dress sold for hundreds of dollars.

This is how much footage I’ve captured from 8 DV tapes over 1.5 years.

It’s too much for a 30-minute cycle.  And still, I have nearly no “together” footage of myself and/or  Patrick.  Let the record state this as I supplement my “away” portions with some “home” visuals.

What does this say about what our lives have been for the past 1.5 years?  We have been busy, apart and probably more interested in taking footage that is out of the ordinary, e.g. “away” seems to be more interesting to document.

At least I have a place to begin cutting.  I’ve loosely decided that part of my sound will be the actual audio from the video I gathered.  In reviewing and capturing those bits and pieces, I was transfixed by how the sound seems to hover– perfect for the “moments of suspension” we are trying to describe with this piece.  In addition, I will be supplementing the audio with contact mic-recorded body sounds, like heartbeat and clothing over skin.

Here we go!

This week on The After Show, Lo appeared via satellite to discuss parties, puppies and the new man in her life.  She was typically candid particularly when discussing Speidi’s party explaining why she didn’t attend.  “Would you want to go to that party?”, she asked the hosts Dan and Jessi.  Also, when asked about Spencer’s over-sized jewelry Lo is equally real saying it was a “loser thing”.

Also on the show, they shared our shock that Speidi or the producers didn’t invite little Enzo over to their party.

MTV

We’ve stumbled upon another charitable cause.  The MTV After Show host Jessi is coordinating an auction of some of her dresses worn on the show.  Dresses worn by some of theHills cast members will also be up for auction.  Proceeds from the auction will go to the organization Free the Children and will help build a school in Kenya.  The goal is to raise $8,500.

If you want to have a dress worn by Jessi, Lauren, Whitney, Audrina or Lo, this is a great way to get one and also help a charitable cause!

The auction on eBay starts Tuesday, November 10th and ends Tuesday November 17.

Kommer inte på någon speciell rubrik, har liksom inte så mycket att skriva om. Jessi kommer förmodligen hit idag, har inte fått svar från henne, men jag antar nog att hon gör det. Men över till det “viktiga”, menyn för nästa vecka…

Måndag: Potatis och spenatcurry
Tisdag: Svampsoppa med kokos
Onsdag: Stekta nudlar med tofu och grönsaker
Torsdag: Fiskfilé á la créme fraiche
Fredag: Kretensisk rödbetssallad
Lördag: Tomat och lökpaj
Söndag: Empanadas

Men får väl gå och städa upp lite, utifall att hon kommer så är det ju bra om det är snyggt. MollBarn

Yes, the score: a new and thankfully solid idea on how to put a backbone on this enormous, year and a half long project…  Use our calendars as a score.

Patrick’s reflects his movements on a broader scale of home time and away time.  As I pawed through my 2008 & 2009 calendars, I find that my movements are strung together by dates of significance, whether I am home or away.  We remember what these stretches of time feel like, we remember the joys and agonies of each… Now how to construct them into a space we will feel not only a sense of accomplishment, but also a sense of completion of the past.

With the craziness of spring well past us, with our annual film event Scary Movie Party 6 out of the way this evening, with both of us feeling good about using Final Cut Pro, with presentation venues having been reached out to and with Patrick focusing on making home his work, we will finally be able to focus on putting this project together.

I love it when a plan comes together!

On my first night sleeping in the dorms (over 10 years ago at this point), I didn’t sleep alone.  I know what you’re thinking, you-with-you’re-dirty-mind.  I didn’t sleep alone that night because my neighbors were chicken-shits.

My roommate, ‘Jessi’, was a cheerleader in high school, who’d already talked baby talk on the phone to her ex-boyfriend, “Saaayth”, 3 times since we’d moved in.  I’d hazard a guess that today, she’s probably a yuppie soccer mom.

She immediately befriended our neighbor to the left of us, ‘Lydia’.  Lydia was from the Bay Area, and was, honestly, a princess.  I’d bet that she’s a soccer mom now, as well.

Lydia’s roommate, ‘Karina’, while normal on the surface, was severely mentally unstable.  It wouldn’t become apparent until years later, after she and I transferred to the state school and lived together for 2 years.

Anyway, so as my new roommate and I were getting ready for bed on our first night away from home, we heard screaming coming from our new friends’ room.

Apparently, since the dorms were shut up all summer, a little spider had made its home in Lydia and Karina’s room.  And both of them suffered from arachnophobia.   As did my roommate.

So the Spida Huntin’ task fell to me.  And I tried, to no avail.  Even awesomer, those girls refused to sleep in their own room, since the spider was AT LARGE.

So they slept in our beds with us.  Obviously, this was back when I was still a nice person.

I’ve never really been afraid of spiders.  Even as a little girl, I named the “diddy-daddy-long-legs” I found in the backyard, and kept in glass jars.

And since most people I know get freaked out by spiders, I’m the one who always has to hunt them out.  But I try to let them live and release them to the wild, mainly because I hate flies and mosquitos.  Eat them bitches, Spida Friends!

So, I am quite the legend amongst my friends and family, as the Spida Hunta.  And that legend has come crashing down around me, as of tonight.

LOOK AT WHAT I FOUND ON MY BALCONY TONIGHT, PEOPLE.

Yes, this is a real pic of the motherfucking Tarantula/Black Widow/Brown Recluse HYBRID FROM HELL.

Okay, that bitch is bigger than a quarter.  I’m sure there are lots of you out there saying, “Awww, that’s nothing compared to the spiders where I live,” or “Chamuca’s a huge vagina, because she’s scared of that lil’ thing.”

The thing is, people, I don’t live IN THE FUCKING TROPICS.  I live in Oregon.  In a semi-urban area.  And I’ve lived in this state for over 28 years, and have never seen a spider like this here.  EVER.

So of course, as soon as I saw it, I got online to figure out if how bad it was gonna be when it bit me and my arm fell off because the venom ate my flesh away.

You’d think there’d be some website where you could plug in the characteristics of the spider, what area you live in, etc., and it’d tell you what the fuck it is.  But you’d be wrong.

My spider has this same cross pattern/tramp stamp.

I spent over an hour trying to figure out what it is.  The closest thing I could find was this guy ——>

It’s called an Araneus diadematus or the common European Garden Spider.

Bull-fucking-shit.

It’s not a ‘widdle common gahden spideh’.  It is the spawn of Satan sent to destroy me.  I am sure of it.

Seriously, I can’t even go out on my balcony because of it.  I may have to give up smoking.  But I’m willing to do that, to avoid this fucker giving me the creepy-crawlies every time I look at it.

We asked Painted Ladies Expert Jessi  to give us a sneak peek into her makeup kit, which, as she says, is actually a piece of luggage! Here, in Jessi’s words, are her top ten can’t-live-without-’em products:

Along with the many other must have’s i.e. foundation, powder and what not I decided to write up Top 10 favorite products/tools that are must have’s in my professional kit and personal stash!

Pro Kit
1. Shiny Mama Cosmetics; GLEAM ALL eye pencils in FROST/SUNRAY: This beautiful pencil will give you that pop of brightness in your inner corner of your eye, or blend with your fingers for anywhere application to get that beautiful shimmery glow! You can even add, (with your finger) on top of your lipstick, into the center of your lower lip to add that perfect pout!

2. Amazing Cosmetics, Amazing Concealer: I cannot tell you how amazing this concealer is. Dark Circles BEGONE! Not only does it work for undereye, but it’s just as amazing for imperfections. Be sure to use very sparingly, a little goes oh so FAR!

3. Sephora Brand Heated Lash Curler, this innovated little tool cannot be replaced in my kit. It’s battery operated which conveniently comes inside the package. It looks just like a mascara wand, but it has a heated core that actually curls the lashes! No pinching, no demarkation lines from the traditional curler and NO FAIL! So easy to use, after mascara application, place the comb on your base of the lashes, (just like you are applying mascara), comb through slowly and hold for a couple seconds. Just remember to keep the battery out of tool when you aren’t using it.

4. Rimmel London 1000 Kisses Stay On Lipliner, in every shade they have! I absolutely love the colors, and I haven’t had any issues with bleeding. My MAC red lip liners I found bled through so I sought out a liner that would do it’s job and HOLD the line of the lipstick! My favorite shades are Cherry Kiss and Coffee Bean.

5. MAC Cosmetics Paint Pot in Rubenesque, this little workhorse is so amazing, it will last all day, (practically waterproof), it has a color you can wear all by itself or used as a primer for under matte tones as well as light shimmer or pearl tones! I absolutely love this color and product!

MY Stash
6. Cover Girl LashBlast in Very Black, I cannot use any other mascara. This is my new favorite!

7. Origins Peace of Mind. Truly on the spot relief! The saying goes “You’ll feel a tingling sensation as pressure, tension and tightness begin to melt away.” And it really does, the smell the feeling oh this stuff is heaven, just a couple drops on your temples or neck and peace at last!

8. Benefit Box o’ Powder in Dallas, my alltime personal fav for my blush/bronzer! This beautiful color is such a rich pinky-plum with a hint of bronze for that perfect 2 in one for me!

9. Rosebud Pefume Co.’s Minted Rose Lip Balm, is my answer to chapped, and dry lips, it helps hydrate, has a minty cool feeling and actually works. I travel often for television shows and I cannot tell you how much this product has helped me! It also works to smooth elbows!

10. My last favorite that I cannot live with out and I completely splurge on this for myself, (since it lasts forever) is the Guerlain Paris Meteorites Powder for the Face. This finishing powder has such a light feeling, beautiful flawless coverage. I just cannot replace it and look the same! I have tried to look for other products that give me the same even, radiating, no makeup look… It’s just not possible!

While looking over the Painted Ladies pages, the Retro Corner sparked a familiar feeling.  I have been collecting vintage compacts since 1997, with the oldest piece from 1918.  Excitedly, I asked Sheila if Painted Ladies needed any additional submissions to the Retro Corner. So here I am.  Enjoy!

After much deliberation, I decided to begin this topic with the history of compacts and beauty products, and then end with a piece from my collection to honor and bid farewell to a MAJOR cosmetic company that is now stopping all distribution in the U.S.

Dating back to the ancient civilizations of the world, cosmetics and its containers were used to adorn and decorate both men and women.  The oldest known surviving powder was originally made by pulverizing flowers and fragrant leaves. Of the many different origins and types of cosmetics used, kohl (then in a loose mineral powder form in a small pot, nowadays called eye kohl pencil) was used by the Egyptians in the eighteenth century to embellish the lashes and lids on the eye, and to protect from insects and shield from the desert’s sun.  

Egyptian kohl pots

Cosmetics were used throughout the middle ages, and in Renaissance periods.  In the late eighteenth century, the use of cosmetics was so widespread that Parliament passed a law that made the use of cosmetics part of a seduction, which to them meant witchcraft.  From that law being passed, women that used cosmetics were basically called “ladies of the night”.

In the late nineteenth century, cosmetics went through a revival in parts of Europe.  The lipstick cases and compacts were adorned with gems, ornately painted landscapes and the like.  In America, during the Victorian era and before World War I, the artificial use of beauty aids was frowned upon still and considered immoral.  The opinion of society was, “to improve on nature, all women needed was proper diet, fresh air, and exercise”.  You should all remember the scene from “Little Women” when they pinch their cheeks to look healthy, fresh and get that natural rosy glow.  Now you know why!

In 1923, Dorothy Grey introduced The Face Patter, to stimulate circulation and make the cheeks naturally pink!  From then on, attitudes regarding cosmetics changed dramatically in the beginning of the twentieth century.  The use of makeup during the day was finally accepted and looked upon with respect.  We have the silver screen’s trend setting film stars to thank for that!

The Face Patter

The word “make-up” was actually coined by Max Factor, beauty consultant to the stars.  Women began to see that they could achieve a “modern” image with cosmetics, and then recognized the importance of personal beauty.  As women became liberated and entered the business world, the cosmetic compacts and carryalls were a necessity.

Excerpts and information from Vintage Ladies’ Compacts Identification & Value Guide, 1996

The piece I am showing you was purchased in Fargo, North Dakota.  I was there for my best friend’s wedding and my flight was delayed as I was heading home to the west. Having some time to kill, I found the nearest antique shop and below you’ll see just one of the gems I found!  I was sad the package was a bit thrashed, when I found it, but you can make out the stamping on the dry rouge itself!  Gasp, they just don’t make rouge like that today! 

Max Factor was a true founding forefather in the world of cosmetics!  My inspiration continues with all the prized antiques in the beauty world. There will be more to come, and I hope it inspires you as well!

Max Factor Dry Rouge

Underside of Dry Rouge

Max Factor Pressed Dry Rouge, in Rasberry from 1938.  I found a Max Factor Pressed Powder with the same packaging in 1996 ed. Collector’s Encyclopedia of Compacts, Carryalls & Face Powder Boxes.

Lo, Frankie and of course Kristin appeared on the After Show to promote the new season of theHills.  In the clip above, Lo talks about her friendship with Kristin and that Kristin has never wronged her.  So, while every other girl may not trust Kristin with their men, Lo does.  Lo adorned Kristin with so many praises, perhaps at the request of MTV, that we wanted dear hosts Dan and Jesse to ask where her loyalties lie- Lauren or Kristin?  And how does she square her loyalty with their feud?  But, we think it’s mature of Lo to be able to have a friendship with Kristin despite Kristin’s apathy toward Lo’s best friend.

Frankie says Brody is the man and sticks to his story.  The previous segment was all about Kristin having boys wrapped around her finger, but Frankie says it was Brody who had Kristin on his finger.  What they didn’t ask was who did Frankie think was a better match for Brody, Lauren or Kristin?  Frankie also says Kristin and Justin Bobby are a good couple because they both are fun and are just playing around right now.

Kristin says Audrina didn’t bring the Kristin Justin-Bobby situation on herself.  But, she says MTV’s editing leads us to believe that more happened than really did.  When Dan and Jesse asked if Kristin has any good girl friends, she said she has a bunch, but doesn’t talk to Jessica Smith, her BFF from high school.  We’d like to know who these good friends are and if any of them are on the show?  Stacie?  Lo?

If you didn’t get your questions answered either, check out our Hills guide for some of our answers.

By Jessi

When shopping by yourself for the perfect shade of red, there are two things to consider: what natural shape your lips are, and what your undertones are in your skin.

LIP SHAPES

BEWARE: If you have thinner lips you should stay within the lighter shades of red or the pinker-reds so your lips stay full! If you choose to use the deeper dark tones, you are taking the light away from the lips and they will appear smaller, even with lipgloss.  If you have medium to fuller lips, be aware that the color you choose can make a huge impact on your overall look.

CHOOSING THE RIGHT SHADE

There are blue-red, orange-red and deep-red shades of color to choose from, (which means the color undertone the red has).  And don’t forget the lipliner – the most important part of the lip process is lining to keep the color from bleeding through, especially reds.  Choose a shade comparable to the lipstick, always go a shade deeper if you have to.

Fair/Light: You have a pink/fair skintone (you burn easily) – go for the blue-red shades or a cherry red.

Light/Medium:  If you can tan easily but still burn then you most likely have more beige to yellow undertones, so try the orange or brown red tones.

Medium/Dark: Your skin has a natural tan color maybe with golden to honey undertones and you darken easily when exposed to the sun.  You can get away with fire engine red and deeper red based tones.

Dark: You are deep skin toned, with mocha undertones, and should opt for deep red tones as well.

Image courtesy of ellisfaas.com

Make sure your lips aren’t chapped or have any dead skin on them.  If you need to, use a clean toothbrush to exfoliate the lips gently.  Keep the rest of your makeup lighter on your face so your other features will not fight against your lips when wearing your new unstoppable color!

With the sharpened lip liner, begin to line the natural line of your lips starting at the cupid’s bow and working your way down to the corners.  Then start again at the base of your lip line and work your way up and into your corner of your mouth.  With your fingers, blend the lipliner into your lips gently to soften the line.  Apply lipstick evenly on the top and bottom lips, either with lipstick or a loaded-up lipbrush.  Don’t forget the corners!

Take a clean tissue and blot lipstick one time as if to kiss the tissue.  Apply a light dusting of translucent loose powder over lips, blotting away excess.  Repeat steps 1 and 2, then lightly press lips together to make sure you have even coverage.  Step away from the mirror and look at your face overall.  If your lips have any unevenness in lines, use the lip liner softly to fix any mistakes.  If you need to wipe anything away, a quick blending of concealer and then setting it with powder should fix any mistakes.  You now have kissable, traffic-stopping lips!

Favorite Red lip colors:

• MAC Cosmetics Viva Glam I (matte brownish blue-red) Fair/Light
• MAC Cosmetics Fresh Moroccan (Brick red with gold pearl) Light/Medium/Dark
• MAC Cosmetics Lady Bug (yellow tomato red with w/ sheen) Light/Medium
• MAC Spice it Up! (muted brown berry w/ sheen) Light/Medium/Dark
• Bloom Cranberry (Light pink rose sheer matte) Fair/Light

Favorite Lip Liners:

• Rimmel London 1000 Kisses in Coffee Bean (deep brown red)
• Rimmel London 1000 Kisses in Red Dynamite (bright blue-red)

Lip Glosses:

• Clinique Superbalm Lipgloss in Raspberry (very versatile since it’s a sheer tone) all tones
• MAC Cosmetics Lip Glass in Russian Red (vivid intense bluish-red) all tones

Hello Painted Ladies!

My name is Jessi Pagel, and I’m a celebrity makeup artist based out of Orange and Los Angeles counties.

My journey into the wonderful world of makeup began in 1999;  I have been a Freelance Makeup/Hair Artist for almost a decade now, with experience in wardrobe styling, set design, and art direction.  I also spent 2 1/2 years as an artist representative/agent for a high-end fashion agency in Las Vegas, NV.

I sleep, eat and breathe my work and I am a self proclaimed creative freak of nature. Dreams conquer and I am proof of that! [ed. note: she really is!]

You can see my work in magazines such as Nylon, Elle, Harper’s Bazaar, 944, Skinnie, Alternative Press, Lucky and on the television networks NBC, FOX, ABC.

My celebrity clients list includes Terri Nunn (of Berlin), Jason Alexander, Jennifer Tilly, Miguel Nunez, Ron Livingston, Tom Sizemore and Marianela Pereyra. I have also worked with musicians such as: Rise Against, Thrice, Alkaline Trio, Megadeth, The Killers, Avenged Sevenfold, and Theory of a Deadman.

You can see more examples of my work on my website, which is: www.firemakeup.com

I’m looking forward to answering your beauty questions here on Painted Ladies!