My fav-or-eets.

Let me testify!

When I want to look like zees:

But it looks like a got run over by a bus, slapped with a frying pan and dragged through a gutter…

I usually swirl all of this around in the bathroom for a while and feel like this:

BIG AND BLACK: Ive worn this mascara for 3 years.  People have asked me many times if Im wearing faux lashes. it’s $10.99 at the corner store.  (and apparently like a dollar online????)
- eyes: l’oreal extra collagen, blackest black don’t do the waterproof unless you have a fire hose on hand to take it off.
GOES FOR HOURS: Lip goo on a wine glass is…off putting.  This stuff goes on and dries in under a minute, but doesn’t dry your lips, lasts literally breakfast-night caps.  I’ve used it since August and can’t believe I bought other sticky smacky gloss for so long.
- lips: revlon colorstay i do “ironic iris” (jeez they need to rethink their noms)

HARD AS ROCK: Your nails are done and then you get your keys/openandirons/take 3 breaths and blamo theyre all dented/smudged/roooooned.  My future sissy in law kindly explained that I was CRAY for not using this stuff.  Indeed.  3 minutes, hard as nails, lasts for ages.
- nails: sally insta-dry anti-chip top coat
TOTAL SMOOTHIE: The drugstore is ALWAYS sold out, so one day a case of 8 (EIGHT) showed up at our door.  Kev had bulk ordered.  Really light, super hydrating, whatever the opposite of oily is, gentle on sensitive skin, the works.
- moisture: st Ives timeless skin
USE PROTECTION: Silky glossy no-static hair: I run it through wet hair before I blow dry, and then tap it on the ends before I flat iron.
- hair serum: bioinfusion hair serum 
JUST DO IT: it’s more sspensive, but it’s practically a bottle of perfume in your moisturizer (nothing, not even fresh gardenias, basil, nectarine juice smell this good).  Plus your skin will feel like a rose petal (I wrote that, I mean that.)     -the good stuff: origins ginger souffle
Next stop: M(y)KE