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Special Feature: American Heartland Bar and Grill College Football Top 30 Plus Hypothetical Tournament Ideas

Political Championship Wrestling — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 17:32:34 +0000

The BCS is a fitting metaphor for the state of our politics. The BCS conference schools represent the elitists, Republicans, Democrats, etal. The non-BCS schools represent ordinary common Americans, the ones disenfranchised by our screwed up political process.

1. 6.57 Alabama (13-0) SEC
2. 6.38 Texas (13-0) Big 12
3. 5.71 Cincinnati (12-0) Big East
4. 5.51 TCU (12-0) MWC
5. 5.50 Florida (12-1) SEC
6. 5.19 Boise State (13-0) WAC
7. 4.83 Oregon (10-2) Pac 10
8. 4.63 Iowa (10-2) Big 10
9. 4.33 Ohio State (10-2) Big 10
10. 4.23 Georgia Tech (11-2) ACC
11. 4.17 Virginia Tech (9-3) ACC
12. 4.01 Penn State (10-2) Big 10
13. 4.00 Miami (FL) (9-3) ACC
14. 3.62 West Virginia (9-3) Big East
15. 3.58 BYU (10-2) MWC
16. 3.50 Pittsburgh (9-3) Big East
17. 3.42 LSU (9-3) SEC
18. 3.37 Wisconsin (9-3) Big 10
19. 3.30 Oklahoma State (9-3) Big 12
20. 3.29 Arizona (8-4) Pac 10
21. 3.26 Central Michigan (11-2) MAC
22. 2.91 Houston (10-3) C-USA
23. 2.69 Nebraska (9-4) Big 12
24. 2.66 Utah (9-3) MWC
25. 2.57 East Carolina (9-4) C-USA
26. 2.41 Troy (9-3) Sun Belt
27. 2.38 Clemson (8-5) ACC
28. 2.33 USC (8-4) Pac 10
29. 2.29 Oregon State (8-4) Pac 10
29. 2.29 North Carolina (8-4) ACC

Eight Team Tournament
-four automatic qualifiers: top 3 BCS conference champions, top non-BCS conference champion
-plus, any non-BCS conference champion within the BCS top 12 gets a berth
-I used the actual BCS standings for this…

#8 Ohio State (10-2), at large vs. #1 Alabama (13-0), SEC Champion
#7 Oregon (10-2), at large vs. #2 Texas (13-0), Big 12 Champion
#6 Boise State (13-0), WAC Champion vs. #3 Cincinnati (12-0), Big East Champion
#5 Florida (12-1), at large vs. #4 TCU (12-0), MWC Champion

Sixteen Team Tournament
-all eleven conference champions automatically qualify
-five at large berths
-I used my rankings to set the seedings

#16 East Carolina (9-4), C-USA Champion vs. #1 Alabama (13-0), SEC Champion
#15 Troy (9-3), Sun Belt Champion vs. #2 Texas (13-0), Big 12 Champion
#14 Central Michigan (11-2), MAC Champion vs. #3 Cincinnati (12-0), Big East Champion
#13 Miami (FL) (9-3), at large vs. #4 TCU (12-0), MWC Champion
#12 Penn State (10-2), at large vs. #5 Florida (12-1), at large
#11 Virginia Tech (9-3), at large vs. #6 Boise State (13-0), WAC Champion
#10 Georgia Tech (11-2), ACC Champion vs. #7 Oregon (10-2), Pac 10 Champion
#9 Ohio State (10-2), Big 10 Champion vs. #8 Iowa (10-2), at large

Twenty-Four Team Tournament
-top 8 conference champions get automatic byes
-the next 8 including the other 3 conference champions get home games and are seeded accordingly
-I used my rankings to set the seedings

Teams with automatic byes
#1 Alabama (13-0), SEC Champion
#2 Texas (13-0), Big 12 Champion
#3 Cincinnati (12-0), Big East Champion
#4 TCU (12-0), MWC Champion
#5 Boise State (13-0), WAC Champion
#6 Oregon (10-2), Pac 10 Champion
#7 Ohio State (10-2), Big 10 Champion
#8 Georgia Tech (11-2), ACC Champion

First Round Games
#24 Houston (10-3) at #9 Florida (12-1)
#23 Arizona (8-4) at #10 Iowa (9-3)
#22 Oklahoma State (9-3) at #11 Virginia Tech (9-3)
#21 Wisconsin (9-3) at #12 Penn State (10-2)
#20 LSU (9-3) at #13 Miami (FL) (9-3)
#19 Pittsburgh (9-3) at #14 Central Michigan (11-2), MAC Champion
#18 BYU (10-2) at #15 Troy (9-3), Sun Belt Champion
#17 West Virginia (9-3) at #16 East Carolina (9-4), C-USA Champion

12/6-PCW Extreme Political TV- Finale: BCS = WTF? Axis of Evil vs. American Citizen

Political Championship Wrestling — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 02:05:11 +0000

BCS Chairman Bill Hancock is in the ring to defend the BCS. Hancock: “ ”With everything going in the country right now, doesn’t Congress have more important things to do? This is the greatest thing ever.” Every year we are guaranteed to have the No. 1 and No. 2 team in the nation meet for the national championship.” Crowd: “BOOOOOOOOOO!” Suave: “If you’re a member of a BCS Conference. If you’re TCU or Boise State, the second you kick off a new season, you’re automatically eliminated from the national championship race. This sucks.” Hancock: “No it’s not. It is like having a new toy at Christmas! What people need to remember is where we were 12 years ago when the BCS was born. It was chaos. The top teams were all going to different bowl games. This system brought some order to college football.” Crowd: “BCS is B-S! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap) BCS is B-S! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap)” Hancock: “”Right now, the system we have is from the grassroots of the BCS. The conference commissioners believe our current system is the best. Someone always has a plan they believe is better. But right now, this is what the majority wants. I’ve grown to love the system. In 1975, I wrote a column in the Hobart Chief, my hometown newspaper owned by my family. I wrote how I was in favor of a playoff system for college football. Of course, that year, a playoff system would have been a good thing for my team (OU). I now believe a playoff would not be better. I just don’t know how you would structure-”

“GET…IT…UP!”

*The beginning riffs to Chickenfoot’s ‘Get It Up plays*

Crowd: “RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Suave: “THANK YOU GOD! HERE COMES THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY…TANGO…FOXTROT!”

Down deep the circle
Round and round down below
Down by condition
Running in circles

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot runs down. The crowd pumps their fists in the air when the chorus hits.

Now get it up!
Arriba, ‘riba
Oh, oh, oh
Get it up

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot asks for a microphone. Suave: “Huh? This is strange. Usually, WTF doesn’t talk.” WTF: “Bill. Three words to answer your question: sixteen…team…playoff.” Crowd: “RAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Hancock: “No, no. How would that work? You can’t-” Kick. Wham. Choke slam.

Now get it up!
Arriba, ‘riba
Oh, oh, oh
Get it up

Suave: “While they clean the mess up in the ring, we’ll be back with our final match right after this.”

———————–

UPCOMING PCW EVENTS FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR:
12/9- PCW House Show
12/12- PCW/MVW Night of Champions
12/20- WWR ‘Christmas in the Caribbean’ Supershow in Puerto De Macoris
12/26- PCW Year End in Review

———————–

MATCH #4
‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott w/’Not Just Intolerable. Not Just Unbearable. He is…’ Justin Sufferable (American Heartland Coalition) vs. ‘Iran’s Weapon of Mass Destruction’ Khalid El w/Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (Axis of Evil)

Kimber: “Our final match is for the number one single’s contender and a shot next week at the PCW Title. On his way to the ring at this time, weighing in at 245 pounds, from Ottumwa, Iowa, a member of the American Heartland Coalition accompanied by ‘Not Just Intolerable, not just unbearable, he is…” Justin Sufferable, ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott!”

Crowd: “RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Scott and Sufferable walk down to the ring.

Kimber: “his opponent, weighing in at 325 pounds, from Tehran, Iran, a member of Axis of Evil accompanied by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, ‘Iran’s Weapon of Mass Destruction’ Khalid-El!”

Crowd: “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Khalid-El and Ahmadinejad join Scott and Sufferable in the ring.

Suave: “Khalid-El and Kevin Scott for a chance at the PCW Title next week. There’s the bell.”

Scott slaps Khalid El. Khalid El fires back with a flurry of slaps to the gut on Scott but Scott breaks that up with knees. Khalid El gets a counter to a hip block takeover with a double arm belly-to-belly. Khalid El hits a couple of chops but Escondido distracts him and Scott hits another knee. Scott takes control with a headlock but Khalid El escapes and hits a back body drop. Khalid El goes after Sufferable, but Scott hits a boot and then hits a few knees to Khalid El’s face and a gutwrench suplex. He teases the Big Swing but opts for elbow drops instead, but Khalid El beats him to the punch with a slap. Scott takes control with a European Uppercut and then a neckbreaker. Cover. 1…2… Scott tapplies a half-nelson chinlock. Khalid El fights back with slaps and Scott responds with European Uppercuts. Beautiful counter as Khalid El catches Scott going for the Bicycle kick and hits a capture suplex. He follows with a lariat for two. Khalid El hits a running elbow in the corner and a Sambo Suplex for two. Sufferable distracts Khalid El and Khalid El runs into a standing drop kick. Scott hits another swinging neckbreaker and again covers. 1…2…Khalid El kicks out of that. Scott busts out the no-hands airplane spin, which is pretty impressive considering Khalid El’s, um, healthy build. Riccola Bomb attempt, SPIKE RANA by Khalid El! 1…2…NO! Sliding elbow! 1…2…NO!

Scott with a moonsault on Khalid-El and then a diving elbow smash. Khalid-El chops the hell out of Scott and then hits a Russian Leg Sweep. Khalid-El drags Scott to the floor. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad clotheslines Scott. Sufferable over. Khalid-El picks him up and nails him with an inverted DDT. Scott’s tag team partner ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido races down. That brings out Khalid-El’s Axis of Evil teammates: Kim Song-Il, Byung Hyung Kang, Fatima, Soon Ye, Hugo Chavez and Fernando Venezuela to the ring. Venezuela lariats Escondido off his feet and almost out of his shoes. Khalid-El with a reverse waist lock on Scott. German Suplex on a chair! Kang chokes Scott with a microphone cable. Ahmadinejad clotheslines Scott for a second time. Venezuela lifts Scott up…chokeslam on the floor. Khalid-El picks up Scott and dumps him back into the ring.

Suave: “Well this can’t be good. Scott’s almost out. Escondido’s been neutralized. Sufferable is laying in a heap.”

Kang slides a chair into the ring. Gut Wrench Suplex by Khalid-El on the open chair! Khalid-El pulls a woozy Scott up and whips him hard to the corner of the ring. Scott hits the turnbuckle and stumbles backward. Khalid-El hits a Reverse Suplex on Scott into the chair! Khalid-El gets back to his feet. Khalid-El puts the chair on Scott…Khalid-El jumps off the top…Guillotine Leg Drop on the chair! Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” Khalid-El hoists up Scott…Khalid-El runs to the center….Running Powerslam on the chair!! Scott is out cold! Cover. 1…2…3.

Kimber Marshall in the ring one last time. Kimber: “The winner at nine minutes and eighteen seconds and the new number one contender for the PCW Title- Khalid-EL!”

Suave: “So, here’s the PCW matches for next week’s Night of Champions.”

PCW Tag Team Television Title Match
‘The Raving Rednecks’ Locke and Loade (American Patriots) vs. Public Utilities: Big Oil/Big Electric (c)

PCW Television Title Match
PCW’s Latest Rookie Sensation Bird ‘The Mark’ Ridfych (Independent) vs. SNAFU w/Dawn McGill (c) (American Heartland Coalition)

PCW Tag Team Title Match
Jack and Bull Schett w/Horst Schett and Hans Gruber-The Extreme German Schauzer (Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army) vs. ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido/’American Citizen’ Kevin Scott w/Justin Sufferable (American Heartland Coalition)

PCW Title Match
‘Iran’s Weapon of Mass Destruction’ Khalid-El w/Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (Axis of Evil) vs. ‘Hollywood A-Lister’ Stone Chism w/Skanky Rich Bimbos Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan (Progressive Alliance)

——————————-

12/6-PCW Extreme Political TV- Part 2: Emanuel Drops More F-Bombs, Steele Pissed

Political Championship Wrestling — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 00:00:36 +0000

*flute and clarinet flourish*

Two men come out and unroll a white carpet to the ring steps. Dancers then dance. Ballet dancers…ballet? Little children walk up the white carpet and drop rose petals. Someone lets loose some pigeons…we’re still not sure just how they’ll get out of the building. The crowd stands and lets out a mildly enthusiastic ovation as PCW CEO Barack Obama appears. Also joining Obama this morning are Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi.

Obama announces that PCW in conjunction with Missouri Valley Wrestling is in the midsts of negotiations concerning a new joint program to begin in January to take the place of the Wednesday House Show…Show syndicated program. Obama apologized for not having any more details at this time. He also reported on the ongoing PCW Health Insurance battle. Obama: “I am confident that with the help and leadership of Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi and…and…who are you?” Man: “I am Tariq, this is my wife Michaele Saladi. Can we get a picture with you?” Obama: “Um…sure.” A photographer appears and snaps a quick shot of the couple with CEO Obama. Man: “Thanks.” They depart. Obama: “Who let them in here?” Neither Pelosi or Reid knows.

Suave: “PCW in negotiations for a new show? The health insurance battle rages on. And strange people showing up to get their picture taken with the CEO. Let’s get back to the ring.”

MATCH #2
Bird ‘The Mark’ Ridfych (Independent) vs. Bobby Ricky Michaels (Old School Kings) vs. Newt Tron Bomb (American Patriots)

Kimber Marshall in the ring for the announcements. Kimber: “This match is a three…way…dance! The winner gets a shot at the PCW Television Title. Coming to the ring first, weighing in at 235 pounds, from Rose City, MI, he is PCW’s LATEST Rookie Sensation- Bird ‘The Mark’ Ridfych!”

Ridfych comes to the ring to a nice ovation.

Kimber: “Our second contestant in this three way match, weighing in at 235 pounds, from Tuscaloosa, AL, he is a member of Old School Kings and accompanied to the ring by Marty Gibson-Lane and PCW’s Manager of Champions Dr. Bill, Bobby Ricky Michaels!”

To a ringing chorus of boos, Michaels, Gibson-Lane, and Dr. Bill walk to the ring.

Kimber: “And last but not least, weighing in at 200 pounds, from Alamogordo, New Mexico, he is a proud member of American Patriots and accompanied by Daisy Cutter-Bomb, Newt Tron Bomb!”

N-Bomb and Daisy run to the ring. He slides in and all three men immediately go at it. Kimber barely gets out of the ring and the bell sounds. Ridfych tosses Michaels from the ring. N-Bomb chops Ridfych. N-Bomb short lariats Ridfych. Ridfych rakes the face of N-Bomb. N-Bomb tries for a belly-to-back suplex but is unable to lift Ridfych. Ridfych pokes N-Bomb in the eyes. N-Bomb trys for a side slam but is not strong enough to lift Ridfych.N-Bomb locks Ridfych in the kneebar. Davey Keels asks Ridfych if he quits. Ridfych fights the hold and escapes. On the floor, SNAFU and Dawn McGill attack Michaels. Reverse neckbreaker by SNAFU. Gibson-Lee runs over. McGill kicks him in the groin with her 4 inch stilettos. SNAFU stomps Michaels’s head. Dr. Bill runs over. HE gets kicked in the groin by McGill’s stilettos. SNAFU and Gibson-Lee fight up the aisle.

Back in the ring, Ridfych bounces N-Bomb off the ropes and faceslams him onto the mat. Ridfych goes for a pin. The ref starts the count. …1 N-Bomb escapes. N-Bomb gets back to his feet. N-Bomb trys for a atomic drop but Ridfych blocks. N-Bomb throws Ridfych to the floor. N-Bomb goes for a bridging back suplex but Ridfych blocks. Ridfych gets thrown into the steel barricade. N-Bomb comes over and smashes Ridfych’s head into it. He’s busted open. N-Bomb executes a swinging bulldog on Ridfych driving Ridfych’s face into the floor. All of a sudden, Bobby Ricky Michaels is back in the match and clobbers N-Bomb from behind. N-Bomb gets sent into the steel barricade. Michaels follows with a splash. Daisy Cutter-Bomb is hiding behind the corner post, then levels Michaels with a clothesline. Michaels tries to fight back, but Daisy steps forward into a sitout powerbomb. Now she throws Michaels back in the ring and follows. Sets…and nails the Daisy Cutter Powerbomb.

Suave: “Action all over the place! I figured SNAFU and Dawn McGill might be gunning for Dr. Bill but Daisy Cutter-Bomb just took the starch right out of Michaels. Good news for Newt Tron Bomb; bad news for PCW’s Manager of Champions Dr. Bill.”

N-Bomb scrambles into the ring for the cover. 1…2…3.

ELIMINATED: Bobby Ricky Michaels

Down to N-Bomb versus Ridfych. Hiptoss executed by N-Bomb lucha-libre style. Bomb flies from the turnbuckle with an elbowdrop. N-Bomb Russian Leg Sweeps Ridfych. Now he turns and sticks his butt in Ridfych’s face.

Suave: “N-Bomb is going for his finisher- The Silent But Deadly! Where the hell is my gas mask?”

Wait! Rahm Emanuel of the Progressive Alliance slides into the ring. N-Bomb doesn’t see him. F-BOMB to N-Bomb! Daisy in now. Two more in the ring. New Progressive Alliance wrestlers Paddy O’Kennedy- the Boston Strangler and Mark Ditka - the Chicago Brawler. O’Kennedy puts Daisy in a sleeper hold. Ditka whips N-Bomb into the corner and then viciously lariats him. N-Bomb stumbles out and collapses. The PA leave. Ridfych crawls over for the cover. 1…2…3.

Kimber Marshall into the ring. Kimber: “The winner of this three way dance at nine minutes and twenty-one seconds- PCW’s LATEST Rookie Sensation- Bird ‘The Mark’ Ridfych!”

Suave: “HUGE win for Ridfych. Michael Steele, leader of the American Patriots, to the ring and he is furious at the Progressive Alliance. He feels N-Bomb was going to win the match and the title shot next week at Night of Champions.”

———————–

Missouri Valley Wrestling Association

‘The Manchester Masterpiece’ Brooke Evans vs. Caroline Kelly
-Evans returns for her first match since being injured at the Lock and Load PPV. She’s already made her presence felt to MVW Television Champion Carrieanne McDermott this week. Kelly looking for a big win to boost her standing since coming over from Dream Wrestling Federation. Evans looking for another crack at McDermott at Night of Champions.

Sabrina James and Alicia Rowe vs. VIP Brin and Sky
-James and Rowe benefited the most from Kirsta Lewis’s time here at Missouri Valley Wrestling. Brin and Sky are no pushover. A win here would put James and Rowe in position for a Tag Team Television title shot.

Jill-Berg vs. Amy Mason
-Berg has her sights set on Miss USA. Amy Mason is trying to make a name for herself here in MVW. Berg and Mason have met before in Dream so they’ll be more than familiar with each other.

All this and more, this Sunday at MVWA 16.

——————————-

‘Straight Talkin’ John McCain of the American Patriots out to talk with Suave. McCain is ‘madder’ than he’s ever been over the waste of money in PCW. Suave: “Do you support that plan (Obama’s)? McCain: “Hell no.” Suave: ”I don’t think you have to swear at me when I’m just asking a…” McCain: “Is this not ******* PCW? You’re damn right I’m going to ******** swear I would have had to have been smoking something pretty strong to vote for that outrageous use of worker’s dollars.” McCain added “There’s not a lot of happy people out there, so you see tea parties, and you see people who are madder than they’ve ever been in their life. And frankly, I’m madder than I’ve ever been.”

General R.C. Patton in the back with A-Bomb and H-Bomb. Patton warns the Progressive Alliance that if they send Emanuel out again to sabotage their match that he will declare war. Patton: “Americans love to fight. All real Americans love the sting of battle. Americans play to win at all times. I wouldn’t give a hoot and hell for a man who lost and laughed. That’s why Americans have never lost nor ever lose a war. We are going to twist his balls and kick the living shit out of him all of the time. Our basic plan of operation is to advance and to keep on advancing regardless of whether we have to go over, under, or through the enemy. We are going to go through him like crap through a goose; like shit through a tin horn!”

Suave: “Some interesting metaphors from General R.C. Patton.”

MATCH 3
Jack Schett and Bull Schett (Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army) vs. A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb w/Daisy Cutter-Bomb and General R.C. Patton (American Patriots)

Wake up! Wake up!
Good morning America!
Rise and Shine.

Ron Paul! Save our constitutional rights
Ron Paul! We’re not gonna give up the fight
Ron Paul! Start a revolution
and break down illegal institutions

Jack Schett and Bull Schett come to the ring as Kimber Marshall does the introductions. Kimber: “On the way to the ring at this time, accompanied by Horst Schett and Hans Gruber- the Extreme German Schauzer, Jack and Bull Schett!”

*Air raid sirens start going off*

Kimber: “Their opponents, from Alamogordo, New Mexico, accompanied by Daisy Cutter-Bomb and General R.C. Patton- A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb!”

The Bomb Brothers hit the ring and attack. Suave: “No waiting for the bell on this one either!” H-Bomb and Jack Schett roll out of the ring and continue to brawl on the floor. A-Bomb grabs a headlock on Bull Schett but is unable to make him budge with shoulder blocks. Bull hits a big forearm, A-Bomb tries a hip block takeover but Bull lifts him up in a fireman’s carry, A-Bomb escapes, dodges and weaves and hits a leaping heel kick. A-Bomb hits a big chop but Bull levels him with a single shoulder block. Bull hits a scoop slam but misses a double foot stomp because A-Bomb is too quick. Jack Schett tags in and loses a forearm duel with A-Bomb, misses a clothesline and A-Bomb hits a big boot before tagging in H-Bomb. H-Bomb comes in with a crossbody for two. Jack has a little more luck exchanging strikes with H-Bomb, but H-Bomb leaps over him and comes back with a spinning wheel kick. He knocks Bull off the apron and tags back out, and both Bombs hit a double 3-Point Stance on Jack. A-Bomb wins a chop war with Jack and tags out to H-Bomb. He hits a Russian Legsweep and H-Bomb hits a senton off the second rope for two.

H-Bomb hits a flurry of strikes but runs into a huge elbow. Jack tags out and Bull takes some strikes from H-Bomb, Jack lifts up H-Bomb and then falls too early on the leg lariat. Bull pounds away on H-Bomb instead. Jack hits a corner clothesline and he and Bull hit a backbreaker legdrop combination on H-Bomb. A-Bomb breaks up Bull’s cover. The Schett’s use rapid tags and flurries of punches to stay in control. Bull hits a back suplex and tags out to Jack. Jack whips H-Bomb to the apron but H-Bomb comes out with a forearm off the second turnbuckle. HOT TAG TO A-BOMB! A-Bomb knocks Bull off the apron and hits a flurry of strikes and a dropkick on Jack. He wants the Death Valley Driver but Jack escapes only to be caught with a yakuza kick. Bull breaks up the cover and the Schett’s beat A-Bomb down. Bull whips Jack for a corner clothesline but A-Bomb saw it earlier and counters with a big boot. Bull runs into the reverse STO in the turnbuckle, and A-Bomb throws Jack to the floor. Cactus clothesline on Bull! Jack joins in on the brawl and H-Bomb hits a hilo on everyone. A-Bomb clotheslines Jack. Bull then eats a reverse neckbreaker. Daisy Cutter-Bomb lays out a chair. H-Bomb grabs Bull…Gut Wrench Suplex on the chair!

Suave: “Exactly what I’d thought we see. Total insanity. Oh crap! Who let the dog out?”

Hans Gruber- the Extreme German Schauzer suddenly races around the corner and leaps at H-Bomb. Suave: “HOLY CRAP!” H-Bomb lets out a scream as the dog’s jaw clenches tight on his balls. Daisy Cutter-Bomb grabs a chair. *CLANG* She whacks the dog with the chair and knocks him out. Horst Schett comes flying in and grabs Daisy from behind. Belly to back suplex on the floor. Hold on…more company coming. Peta from PETA leads the Green World Order (Extreme Vegan Brock Cole Lee, GreenPete, and PeaceNick) down. Peta, presumably angry at Daisy’s treatment of Hans Grubers, stomps away at her. General R.C. Patton arrives to help Daisy and snaps his horsewhip on Peta. Brock Cole Lee and GreenPete then attack the General.

Back in the ring, A-Bomb grabs Jack and applies an arm wrench. Jack makes the tag to Bull. Jack tackles A-Bomb. Bull springboard DDT’s A-Bomb onto the mat! Overhead Belly to Belly Suplex sends A-Bomb onto the chair by Jack!! A-Bomb gouges Jack’s eyes and tags in H-Bomb. Armdrag takedown by H-Bomb who tags A-Bomb back in. Bull punches A-Bomb repeatedly. Bull picks up a chair….and slams it into A-Bomb’s face! A-Bomb is busted open! Bull climbs to the top of the turnbuckle…diving headbutt on A-Bomb. A-Bomb get whipped into the corner and Bull follows him in with an avalanche. A-Bomb gets sent into the opposite turnbuckle and Bull hits him with a splash. Bull executes a springboard bulldog, slamming A-Bomb’s head onto the mat. Bull sets up a chair…hooks both of A-Bomb’s arms…Double Arm DDT on the open chair! Bull climbs to the top turnbuckle. Jack sticks a brick in the back of his trunks. Bull turns and…SCHETT BRICK! SCHETT BRICK! A-Bomb busted open! Cover. Davey Keels counts…1 …2 H-Bomb tries to make the save but Jack cuts him off. …3

Kimber Marshall in. Kimber: “The winners at ten minutes and fifteen seconds and new number one contenders for the PCW Tag Team titles. JACK and BULL SCHETT!”

Suave: “THE SCHETTS HAVE BEEN IN A BIT OF A SLUMP! NOT TONIGHT. THEY WILL MEET FELLOW POLITICAL WRESTLING INDEPENDENTS ’NO FRILLS’ CHRIS ESCONDIDO AND ‘AMERICAN CITIZEN’ KEVIN SCOTT FOR THE PCW TAG TEAM TITLE!”

Post match, Rahm Emanuel, Mark Ditka, and Paddy O’Kennedy run-in. Emanuel lays out A-Bomb with an F-Bomb. Ditka and O’Kennedy double team H-Bomb. Brock Cole Lee and GreenPete hold Daisy Cutter-Bomb down on the floor facing down while Peta from PETA whips her with General Patton’s horse whip. Finally, ‘Peasant with a Pitchfork’ T-Bag and the Raving Rednecks Locke and Loade come to the rescue and run the Progressive Alliance and GWO off.

——————–

And now, a musical interlude…

It’s the ‘Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin at the Gridiron Club.

Palin (singing to the tune of the 12 days of Christmas):
“On the first day of Christmas, Rush Limbaugh gave to me: A Marxist in a dead tree.

On the second day of Christmas, Rush Limbaugh gave to me: Two tea-bag goons, and a Marxist in a dead tree.

On the third day of Christmas, Rush Limbaugh gave to me: Three hell-no’s, Two tea-bag goons, and a Marxist in a dead tree.

On the fourth day of Christmas, Rush Limbaugh gave to me: Four bawling Becks, Three hell-no’s, Two tea-bag goons, and a Marxist in a dead tree.

On the fifth day of Christmas, Rush Limbaugh gave to me: Fiiiiiive…Sarah swoon-ins! Four bawling Becks, Three hell-no’s, Two tea-bag goons, and a Marxist in a dead tree.

On the sixth day of Christmas, Rush Limbaugh gave to me: Six health care death squads, Fiiiiiive…Sarah swoon-ins! Four bawling Becks, Three hell-no’s, Two tea-bag goons, and a Marxist in a dead tree.

On the seventh day of Christmas, Rush Limbaugh gave to me: Seven bug-eyed birthers, Six health care death squads, Fiiiiiive…Sarah swoon-ins! Four bawling Becks, Three hell-no’s, Two tea-bag goons, and a Marxist in a dead tree.

On the eight day of Christmas, Rush Limbaugh gave to me: Eight Cheney boomlets, Seven bug-eyed birthers, Six health care death squads, Fiiiiiive…Sarah swoon-ins! Four bawling Becks, Three hell-no’s, Two tea-bag goons, and a Marxist in a dead tree.

On the ninth day of Christmas, Rush Limbaugh gave to me: Nine ACORN busters, Eight Cheney boomlets, Seven bug-eyed birthers, Six health care death squads, Fiiiiiive…Sarah swoon-ins! Four bawling Becks, Three hell-no’s, Two tea-bag goons, and a Marxist in a dead tree.

On the tenth day of Christmas, Rush Limbaugh gave to me: Ten thundering mossbacks, Nine ACORN busters, Eight Cheney boomlets, Seven bug-eyed birthers, Six health care death squads, Fiiiiiive…Sarah swoon-ins! Four bawling Becks, Three hell-no’s, Two tea-bag goons, and a Marxist in a dead tree.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, Rush Limbaugh gave to me: Eleven loony liberals, Ten thundering mossbacks, Nine ACORN busters, Eight Cheney boomlets, Seven bug-eyed birthers, Six health care death squads, Fiiiiiive…Sarah swoon-ins! Four bawling Becks, Three hell-no’s, Two tea-bag goons, and a Marxist in a dead tree.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, Rush Limbaugh gave to me: twelve flaming liberals, hunted down in the wild and field dressed, medium well-done, seared on the fatty edges, right next to the mashed potatoes…and a Marxist in a dead treeeeeeeeeee.”

————————-

The Alaska Pitbull’s new book is called ‘Going Rogue.’ Click here to go to Amazon’s web site to look.

And while you’re there (cheap plug…cheap plug…) check out this book as well. Loose Cannons

There are some books you curl up with on a warm couch to read.

This isn’t one of them.

Released just in time for the presidential election but stil relevant in today’s dysfunctional political atmosphere, Loose Cannons and Other Weapons of Mass Political Destruction is an independent call to arms, a rowdy, hard-hitting, no holds barred satire that finally puts politics in proper perspective- by equating it to professional wrestling. Or in other terms, it’s a book you can crack open a six of beer and crank up the music to enjoy a humorous and occasionally biting political satire.

A dark cloud has covered the American political landscape. The powerful forces of professional partisans, political operatives, and special interest groups have combined to polarize the electorate into two bitterly divided extreme camps while many people tune out of the political process altogether.

However, DeWayne Cantrell isn’t like most people.

Co-owner with Bubba Jackson of the world’s only political pro wrestling federation, Buckland County Extreme Wrestling, DeWayne, a reformed politician himself, skewers the political world on a weekly basis on the BCEW wrestling show. But when powerful United States Senator David Hutchinson gets wind of what Cantrell is doing, DeWayne finds himself being subpoenaed to appear before a Senate sub-committee on the ‘Media and Their Contribution to the Coarseness of the American Culture.’ It is only after a heated exchange with Senator Hutchinson at the contentious hearing that DeWayne realizes that it’s no joke anymore.

Cantrell then throws his hat into the political ring and challenges Hutchinson for his Senate seat. Can DeWayne stand up for the little guy against the establishment of both political parties and stick it to the Washington D.C. elites? To what lengths will the professional politicians and their special interest groups go to stop him?

And will American politics ever be the same?

NOTE: We’d like to reassure everyone that no actual American Congressman, Senator, President, aides, political pundits, know-it-all celebrity political pundits, pompous cable TV personalities, right wing or left wing talk show hosts, reality show contestants, Weather Channel personalities, or skanky rich bimbos were injured in the making of this book.

FYI, several current PCW characters are in Loose Cannons including Johnny Sauve, Dawn McGill, Justin Sufferable, Chris Escondido, Starz N. Stripes aka Kevin Scott and many more.

More to come…

———————–

More political stories:
Sarah Palin, Barney Frank and the Gridiron Club
Sarah Palin and Barney Frank at the Gridiron Club
Sarah Palin: Rogue, Joe Biden: Rogaine
Palin wows them at the Gridiron Club
Sarah Palin at the Gridiron Dinner takes shots at self, journos
Sarah Palin Is Funny, Barney Frank Is Boring
Sarah Palin’s stand up comedy career?
Sarah Palin meets the ‘death panel’
Oh Lord, it’s hard to be humble…
Questions For Gov. Martin O’Malley (And For All Marylanders)
Asian and Pacific Islanders make Palin uncomfortable
Sarah Palin Receives The Great American Award For Patriotism, Citizenship, And Civic Engagement
The Comedy Duo of Palin and Frank!
State of the Union: Is Palin eyeing Carville?
Matalin: With Afghan surge, Obama resembles George W. Bush
Obama gives pep talk to Senate Democrats on health care
State of the Union: John King’s Crib Sheet for December 6
GEORGE H W OBAMA or BUSH 3.0 – U.S. Politics Online: A Political …
La Figa » Theocracy: Imposing Faith into Politics in the US and Abroad
Really? – US Message Board – Political Discussion Forum
Lessons from Massachusetts Health Care Reform – Politics & Current …
U.S. Officials Place bin Laden in No-Man’s Land Between Pakistan …
Political Article on “Obama Says U.s. “Determined” to Combat …
The Mudflats » The 2009 Muckrakers Ball
Aloha? Oy! Palin Has Problems With Hawaiian Minorities?
Boots on the Ground – Going Rouge Coloring Book is Too Dang Controversial!
Moore Up North *Shannyn Moore Show * The 2009 Muckrakers Ball
STOP CALLING HER GOVERNOR!

12/6-PCW Extreme Political TV on P-SPAN- part 1: The Great Debate About America...Christopher America, that is. Raving Rednecks vs. Goatbusters

Political Championship Wrestling — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 05:15:28 +0000

PCW Extreme Political TV
DeltaPlex Arena
Grand Rapids, MI
Saturday December 6th
Host: Johnny Suave

PCW RANKINGS

PCW WORLD CHAMPION: ‘Hollywood A-Lister’ Stone Chism (Progressive Alliance)
PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: SNAFU (Independent)
CONTENDERS:
#1- ’American Citizen) Kevin Scott (American Heartland Coalition)
#2- Khalid-El (Axis of Evil)
#3- Bird ‘The Mark’ Ridfych (Independent)
#4- Newt Tron Bomb (American Patriots)
#5- American Trucker (American Heartland Coalition)
#6- ‘The King of Old School Gimmicks’ Baron Von Munchke (Old School Kings)

PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and ’American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (American Heartland Coalition)
PCW TAG TEAM TELEVISION CHAMPIONS: Big Oil and Big Electric (Public Utilities)
CONTENDERS:
#1- A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb (American Patriots)
#2- Midnite Rockin’ Xpress- Bobby Ricky Michaels/Marty Gibson-Lane (Old School Kings)
#3- Jack and Bull Schett (Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army)
#4- NCISF’d
#5- The Goatbusters (Island of Misfit Wrestlers)
#6- Raving Rednecks Locke and Loade (American Patriots)

WWR RANKINGS

TAG TEAM TOP 25

1. The Entourage (Spike Saunders/Callie Urban)- FWO*	37.2
2. Vox Nihili (Alias & Karina Wolfenden)- FWO	36
3. The Anthology(Jared Wells & Larry Tact)- EPW	34
4. Chris Escondido/Kevin Scott- PCW *	31.2
5. Hollywood Wrecking Crew- NFW	31

19. Public Utilities(Big Oil/Big Electric)- PCW **

13.1

MEN’S TOP 50

61. SNAFU- PCW **

20.1

65. ‘Hollywood A-Lister’ Stone Chism- PCW *

19.2

84. Bird ‘The Mark’ Ridfych- PCW

Suave: “Hello and welcome to PCW Extreme Political TV. I am Johnny Suave and tonight is a huge night. By the end of the night, we will know the PCW end of next Saturday’s Night of Champions Card. Here are the matches:

The Goatbusters- Ray Scantz and Peter Jenkman (Independent) with Argon vs. ’The Raving Rednecks’ Locke and Loade
- winner gets Public Utilities- Big Oil/Big Electric for the PCW Tag Team Television Title.

Bobby Ricky Michaels of Midnite Rockin’ Xpress, managed by Dr. Bill (American Patriots) vs. PCW’s latest rookie sensation Bird ‘The Mark’ Ridfych (Independent) vs. Newt Tron Bomb with Daisy Cutter-Bomb (American Patriots)
-winner faces PCW Television Champion SNAFU for the title at Night of Champions

Jack Schett and Bull Schett w/Horst Schett and Hans Gruber- the Extreme German Schauzer (Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army) vs. A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb (American Patriots)
-winner meets ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and Kevin Scott for the PCW Tag Team Title at Night of Champions.

‘Iran’s Weapon of Mass Destruction’ Khalid El w/Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (Axis of Evil) vs. ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott w/Justin Sufferable (American Heartland Coalition)
-winner faces PCW Champion ‘Hollywood A-Lister’ Stone Chism at Night of Champions

PCW Television Champion SNAFU walks out with the Demolition Machine in a Short Skirt Dawn McGill. Suave: “Let’s go back to Wednesday night’s PCW House Show…Show.”

Replay from this past Wednesday Night:
On the other side, Dawn McGill just finishes annihilating the Skanky Rich Bimbos with repeated Singapore caneshots, and she gets blindsided by Missouri Valley Wrestling’s Tag Team Champions Angels of Death! SNAFU tries to help Dawn but he gets attacked by Dr. Phil wannabe, Self-Help Guru and Manager of Champions Dr. Bill and the Midnite Rockin’ Xpress. AoD’s Angel Scott and Angel Casey overpower McGill and nail a Death Spiral Drop on her on the ring floor. Dr. Bill and his ‘bionic’ arm KO SNAFU and leave him in a heap in the ring.

SNAFU: “Dr. Bill. Everyone knows that your so-called ‘bionic arm’ is a fraud…a fake. You lied about Dr. Annabel Lecktor supposedly eating your arm so you could put that steel brace on your arm. I promise you this. If one of your wrestlers makes it to next week’s Night of Champions, after I defeat them I will tear that brace off your arm myself.” Crowd: “RAHHHHHHHHHH!” SNAFU: “Now as for Angels of Death who attacked Dawn McGill, Dawn will deal with you tomorrow night in Cedar Rapids, Iowa at the Missouri Valley Wrestling show. But there’s someone else I want to address- a xenophobic moron named Christopher America over at High Octane Wrestling. Here’s some the bile that’s come out of this asshole’s piehole…”

(Courtesy of High Octane Wrestling)
Christopher America: Dawn, you keep asking whether it is okay to call me Chris. While I appreciate the groveling, I must inform you that in America today, women are unfortunately allowed to vote, hold jobs, speak their minds, and cheat with Cau-bl-asian golfers. So, you can call me Chris, Dawn. Unless, you were trying to get my permission, in which to that I say, keep being kinky.

I do not wish to wrestle at ICONIC. I was commenting on why the card is what it is. However, if the powers that be did grant us a match, it’d be under my terms which is HOFC. But I doubt that it will happen, so you have nothing to worry about and nothing to piss yourself over. Nah, it really doesn’t hurt that I didn’t get a title shot on my first night. Like a true American, I expected to earn my way through HOW. OOPS. You know what? That’s unfair. You did earn your title shot. On your knees. In the dark office.

You’ve ranked in the top 25! WOW! I’ve ranked in the top 5 of HOW. I’ve also ranked #2 in matches when I beat Shane Reynolds. It was great. I love top 5. By the way, getting ranked #5 on a list of women is like getting picked second to last for dodgeball at school. Sure, you aren’t last, but second to last ain’t great either.

You manage Miss USA? I remember her! Lee Best signed her and then she managed to drop off the face of the earth. Probably the best female wrestler ever in HOW. She was seen but never heard…

SNAFU: “Would someone at HOW do the world a favor and stick Christopher America back into the DeLoren and send him back to 1955- where he and his archaic views about women belong? You embody the spirit of America about as much as Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. SAVEUS 232? Congratulations. Not just any moron can rip off Chris Jericho’s return gimmick. Dude, I watch Jericho on television. Chris Jericho is a great wrestler. YOU are no Chris Jericho. It sounds to me like if anything needs to be saved, it’s High Octane Wrestling from your mediocrity.” McGill: “You know, Christine. I was wrong. I do want to meet you inside the squared circle so I can slap the taste out of your mouth and send you crying like a little bitch back to your dressing room. Since all the matches are booked for HOW’s ICONIC show, why don’t you come down to Puerto de Macoris for this little show in two weeks called WWR Supershow II- Christmas in the Caribbean. Do you actually have the balls to step into the same ring with me? Or are you going to respond with another one of your inane rants about your mother being a whore or something like that. What’s it going to be Chrissy? I’ll be there.” McGill throws the mic down and exits.

————————————–

ICON

ICON TITLE
BURIED ALIVE REMATCH
Graystone vs. Shane Reynolds vs. Max Kael©

LSD TITLE
HOUSE OF MIRRORS MATCH
Tim Shipley vs. David Black©

HOFC FINALS
Bobbinette Carey vs. Michael DeNucci©

TAG TEAM TITLE
FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE ELIMINATION MATCH
Brothers of the Beast vs. The Egg Bandits vs.
The Maurako Family vs. Twisted Reality©

HARDCORE SUBMISSION MATCH
SPECIAL REFEREE CHRIS CK
Trent vs. Jatt Starr

HELL’S HORROR MATCH
Erites Kallisten vs. Kirsta Lewis

SPECIAL ONE TIME ONLY MATCH
Ryan Faze vs. Big Buff Benny Newell

————————————–

Dream Wrestling Federation

Lethal Lottery!
Slaughter heads to the former home of sVo: Showdown! All matches determined the night of the show!

Slaughter Line Up
—————————–

WEB CAST EXCLUSIVE TAPING

Force vs. Jimmy Riley

eGG Bandits vs. Brothers of Prophecy
Tag Team Title Match

SLAUGHTER TELEVISION TAPING

Dr. EMO vs. Bishop Steele

Charlie Blackwell vs. Upton Osgood

Marshall vs. B.R. Ellis

Travis Williams vs. Anti-Hero
You Call It Championship

501 vs. Lupin Cy
DREAM Championship

——————————————–

Suave: “Let’s get to the ring and our brand new ring announcer, Kimber Marshall…hello!” Kimber Marshall climbs into the ring. Kimber: “Our first match tonight is a tag match and the winner meets PCW Tag Team Television Champions Public Utilities next week at Night of Champions. On their way to the ring at this time, The Goatbusters!”

*Spooky music begins followed by a funky beat*

If there’s something grazing
In your neighborhood
Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
If you see a herd
And it don’t look good
Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)

I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I ain’t afraid of no Goat

If you’re seeing horns
Running through your yard
Who can you call
(Goatbusters)
If you have a goat
Sleeping in your bed
Oh, who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)

I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I ain’t afraid of no Goat

Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
If you’re all alone
Pick up the phone
And call
(Goatbusters)

I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I hear it likes the girls
I ain’t afraid of no Goat
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
If you’ve had a dose
Of a freaky Goat
Maybe you’d better call
(Goatbusters)

Let me tell you something
Bustin’ makes me feel good

I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I ain’t afraid of no Goat

Don’t get caught alone, oh no
(Goatbusters)
When it comes through your door
Unless you just want some more
I think you better call
(Goatbusters)
Ow

Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
Ah, I think you better call
(Goatbusters)…

The Goatbusters, Peter Jenkman and Ray Scantz climb into the ring along with their manager, Argon. Kimber: “Their opponents, The Raving Rednecks- LOCKE…AND…LOADE!”

*Toby Keith’s ‘Who’s Your Daddy’ begins to play*

Who’s your daddy, who’s your baby?
Who’s your buddy, who’s your friend?
And who’s the one guy that you come runnin’ to
When your lovelife starts tumblin?
I got the money if you got the honey
Lets cut a deal lets make a plan
Who’s your daddy, who’s your baby?
Who’s your buddy, who’s your man?

Locke and Loade in the ring holding up their framed picture of Toby Keith. Suave: “PCW Originals Locke and Loade versus newcomers The Goatbusters with the winner getting a shot at the PCW Tag Team Television Title.” The bell rings. Suave: “Scantz and Locke to start.”

Scantz grabs a headlock on Locke but is unable to make him budge with shoulder blocks. Locke hits a big forearm, Scantz tries a hip block takeover but Locke lifts him up in a fireman’s carry, Scantz escapes, dodges and weaves and hits a leaping heel kick. Scantz hits a big chop but Locke levels him with a single shoulder block. Loade in and sets up a table. Locke gives Scantz an Ace Crusher through it! Locke gets up. Locke covers Scantz hooking the leg. Davey Keels counts the pin. …1…2 Jenkman makes the save. Loade chases Jenkman from the ring. Locke hits a belly-to-back suplex and tags in Loade. Locke measures Scantz up and drops a closed fist. Loade sets up Scantz…and piledrives him. Cover…1…2…Jenkman again in to make the save. Jenkman follows with a short lariat on Loade. Locke in and clotheslines Jenkman over the top rope. Locke follows. Scantz climbs to his feet. Loade is up. He opens up the chair…Scantz is thrown into the ropes…Drop Toe Hold onto the open chair!

Suave: “Right now, the experience of the Raving Rednecks is coming through as they are totally dismantling The Goatbusters.”

The third member of the Goatbusters, Argon, slips in and sends Loade to the corner of the ring. That allows Scantz enough time to make back to his corner. Scantz tags Jenkman. Loade immediately hits a swinging bulldog on Jenkman and drives Jenkman’s face into the mat. Jenkman back up and chops Loade. Loade spinning mule kicks Jenkman and sends him staggering to the ropes. Jenkman tags Scantz. Loade hits Scantz with the back of his elbow. Scantz tags Jenkman right back in. Loade has a chair now. Chairshot directly to Jenkman’s knee!! Jenkman is wobbly! Loade nails the bridging back suplex on Jenkman…1…2…Jenkman kicks out. He dives for his corner and tags Scantz back in. Scantz comes in refreshed and nails a spinning headscissors on Loade. Loade hits him with a back fist. Locke tagged in by Loade. Locke with a huge fisherman buster on Scantz. Locke goes for the cover but Scantz rolls out of the ring.

Suave: “Again, Locke and Loade look as determined and focused as I’ve ever seen them. The Goatbusters need to regroup.”

Locke slides out and gets caught by Scantz with a back heel kick. Scantz tries for a vertical facebuster but Locke is able to block it. Scantz chops Locke. Locke chops Scantz. Both men climb back into the ring. Knifehand chop by Locke. Scantz makes the tag to Jenkman. Locke tags Loade in. Loade executes the guillotine choke on Jenkman. Jenkman gets hit with a running powerslam by Loade. Now Loade standing. He hits a diving elbow smash. Now Jenkman standing. Loade picks up Jenkman and delivers a bone crunching shoulderbreaker. Loade with a falling splash on Jenkman. Locke into the ring. Locke and Loade picks up Jenkman and plants him with the 4-D Redneck Death Blast Loade sets the chair down on Jenkman…Loade goes up top..Splash onto the chair! Jenkman is hurting! Davey Keels counts. …1 …2 …3

Kimber Marshall and her legs climb into the ring. Kimber: “The winner at eight minutes and thirty-six seconds- The Raving Rednecks…LOCKE AND LOADE!”

Suave: “Locke and Loade with a VERY impressive victory over the Goatbusters. Next week, they will meet Public Utilities for the PCW Television Title. Huh? Ladies and gentlemen. I have just been told that the CEO of PCW Barack Obama has a huge announcement to make concerning PCW’s second show. It’s coming up right after this.”

….more to come.

————————

Other political posts:
Wit vs. Half-Wit
Bloomberg And Lautenberg : What a pair of losers
Gibbs v. April Ryan: Should Gibbs Apologize?
A Typical Week in Silly Season
Global Suicide Bomber?
Guilty or Not
Navajo politics sour on council cut | KREZ News 6 New Mexico
Puffery & Politics « Red Tory v.3.0
‘Climategate’: leaked emails push scientists toward transparency …
Simpsons billionaire gets most write-in votes in NYC mayor race
Democrats consider new presidential nominating process
Virginia welcomes Sarah Palin

Card Announced for PCW Extreme Political TV

Political Championship Wrestling — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 12:00:17 +0000

Here is Saturday night’s card for PCW Extreme Political TV:

The Goatbusters- Ray Scantz and Peter Jenkman (Independent) with Argon vs. NCISF’d (Independent) vs. ‘The Raving Rednecks’ Locke and Loade
- winner gets Public Utilities- Big Oil/Big Electric for the PCW Tag Team Television Title.

The Political Wrestling Action Heats Up- 9 Days to Night of Champions

Political Championship Wrestling — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 16:30:33 +0000

With just nine days before Night of Champions, this Saturday’s PCW Extreme Political TV will decide just who will get title shots.

Two newcomers will meet for a chance at the PCW Tag Team Television Title when The Goatbusters- Ray Scantz and Peter Jenkman (Independent) with Argon meets NCISF’d (Independent).

After Dr. Phil wannabe self help guru, Dr. Bill’s sneak attack on PCW Television Champion SNAFU earlier this week, Saturday night will determine if one of his wrestlers will meet him for the TV Title. It’ll be Bobby Ricky Michaels of Midnite Rockin’ Xpress, managed by Dr. Bil (American Patriots)l, versus PCW’s latest rookie sensation Bird ‘The Mark’ Ridfych (Independent) and Newt Tron Bomb with Daisy Cutter-Bomb (American Patriots).

More matches to be announced. Stay tuned.

New Play by Play/Color Person Chastity Gold

Political Championship Wrestling — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 03:50:02 +0000

Chastity Gold is a stunningly beautiful, 27 year-old, former news anchor from Las Vegas, NV. You could say her solid upbringing in the “City of Sin” is uncommon, but it’s certainly evident by her values. She’s honest and pure in every sense of your imagination (yes, even THAT way) and is a hard worker, even going as far as dialing up Joe Hoffman upon her hiring at High Octane Wrestling to learn more about the company and wrestling business as a whole. She will, however, have the occasional mistake or two when calling matches (aka, not knowing a particular move) and the like.Chastity’s combination of beauty and brains promises to make her a favorite on PCW and Missouri Valley Wrestling programming.

New Ring Announcer Kimber Marshall

Political Championship Wrestling — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 03:31:32 +0000

Here’s a photo of PCW’s new ring announcer, Kimber Marshall. Kimber comes to us from High Octane Wrestling and handled the ring announcing duties on their Mayhem show. Please welcome Kimber as she will be replacing Charlene Ann Beckworth on the road. She’ll give Charlene Ann a well deserved break to be home with her family.

12/2-PCW/MVW House Show...Show

Political Championship Wrestling — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 02:39:27 +0000

MATCH #1- PCW Match from Elkhart, Indiana
The Goatbusters: Ray Scantz and Peter Jenkman
w/Argon
(Independent)
vs.
Richard Headd and Michael Hunt aka Guys with
Unfortunate Last Names w/Rob Hull and his Emo
(Island of Misfit Wrestlers)

*Spooky music begins followed by a funky beat*

If there’s something grazing
In your neighborhood
Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
If you see a herd
And it don’t look good
Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)

I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I ain’t afraid of no Goat

If you’re seeing horns
Running through your yard
Who can you call
(Goatbusters)
If you have a goat
Sleeping in your bed
Oh, who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)

I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I ain’t afraid of no Goat

Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
If you’re all alone
Pick up the phone
And call
(Goatbusters)

I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I hear it likes the girls
I ain’t afraid of no Goat
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
If you’ve had a dose
Of a freaky Goat
Maybe you’d better call
(Goatbusters)

Let me tell you something
Bustin’ makes me feel good

I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I ain’t afraid of no Goat

Don’t get caught alone, oh no
(Goatbusters)
When it comes through your door
Unless you just want some more
I think you better call
(Goatbusters)
Ow

Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
Ah, I think you better call
(Goatbusters)…

The Goatbusters, Peter Jenkman and Ray Scantz climb into the ring along with their manager, Argon.

The ring announcer comes out and announces that NCISF’d, who was supposed to be the Goatbusters’ opponent tonight, could not make it to the show. Apparently, Tiger Woods picked up NCISF’d in Hollywood but then ran over a hydrant and smacked into a tree.

The Goatbusters will meet NCISF’d this coming Saturday night on PCW Extreme Political TV.

Scantz and Headd to begin things. Lock up, go behind and then a takedown by Scantz. To the feet, Headd gets a head scissors takedown and Scantz escapes. Headd goes after the arm, hammerlock and a slap to the back of the head of Scantz. Rights by Scantz, Headd tags in Hunt and clotheslines by Scantz. A slam follows, and the leg drop gets 2. Off the ropes, double team flapjack by the Goatbusters. Flip flop and fly by Jenkman to Hunt, Headd and Scantz in and the Goatbusters clears the ring and celebrates. Guys with Unfortunate First Names tries to regroup, Jenkman tosses Headd into the ring and Hunt into distract him, allowing Headd to get the 2nd rope uppercut. Hunt in now, chokes out Jenkman, tags in Headd and a back elbow to Jenkman, but the 2nd rope back splash misses. Slam by Jenkman, Scantz up top and Rob Hull tosses him to the mat. Headd battles back, chokes out Jenkman with the boot. A right by Headd, one from Hunt, and he tags in. Double team necktie to Jenkman, and they shake, those stupid bastards. Rights by Hunt, Headd back in and they double team Jenkman. Hull and his Emo begin to argue which distracts the ref and allows more double teams. Hunt nails Scantz, Headd covers Jenkman for 2. Off the ropes and a double team backdrop to Jenkman. Hunt covers for 2. Rights to Jenkman, he tries to fight back with chops, knee by Hunt and off the ropes, and RUNS INTO A SPEAR! BOTH men are down! Tags to Scantz and Headd, Scantz cleans house as the crowd goes mild. Shoulder blocks and a neck breaker. Spine buster follows, and then a slam. Head butt to Headd gets 2. Side slam follows and another cover for 2. The crowd wants tables as Hunt gets tossed to the floor. Jenkman and Scantz get the reverse Containment Unit and cover for 2. A slam on Headd now. Scantz gets a table and slides it in. Rob Hull beats down Scantz now, but Jenkman gets beat down in the ring. Jenkman battles back, tosses Hunt, but Rob Hull in again, still arguing with his Emo. He clotheslines Headd by accident. Hull and his Emo get tossed, Containment Unit on Headd. 1…2…3

WINNER: The Goatbusters at 7:39

MATCH #2 Replay from Monday night’s
High Octane Wrestling Mayhem show
Dawn McGill
vs.
WWR Women’s #5 Kirsta Lewis

Kimber Marshall: And her opponent, from Morenci, Michigan, weighing 173 pounds… DAWN MCGILL!!!

Yielding her trademark Singapore cane, Dawn slides into the ring and quickly discards the object, standing nose-to-nose with her opponent and former #1 Female Wrestler in the world, Kirsta Lewis.

Chastity Gold: Well, these two know each other quite well and it will be interesting to see who comes out on top in this match.

Rick Fantastic: Running the risk of sounding like that idiot, Benny Newell, I’ll just say “no comment”.

Referee Romeo Ward calls for the bell and the two ladies immediately begin firing away at each other. It’s the “Hellcat” who takes early control of the match with a hip toss, followed right into a rear head-lock. McGill powers out though and elbows Kirsta in the gut, forcing her to back off. McGill quickly bounces off the ropes nearby and executes a Spinning Heel Kick that forces Kirsta Lewis to the mat.

A quick cover by McGill only nets a 1 and a half count from Ward, who warns Dawn about her use of a blatant choke hold used out of frustration. McGill reluctantly backs off and Kirsta pokes a thumb to her eye, quickly turning the tables without hesitation.

Kirsta rams a shoulder into Dawn’s mid-section and forces her into the corner, where she wears down McGill with a variety of strikes to anywhere she can land them. McGill slumbers down against the turnbuckles and Kirsta backs away for moment, gaining momentum for an impactful Running Knee to her jaw.

McGill falls forward and Kirsta stalks her from behind as she tries to come to her feet. Eventually, she stands up, only to find Kirsta charging at her with her Hell’s Bitch Kick finisher.

Rick Fantastic: McGill ducked!

Caught off-guard, Kirsta spins around, right into the grip of Dawn McGill, who tries lifting her opponent high into the air with both arms. Unfortunately for Dawn, Kirsta escapes her grasp and spins her around, this time, landing the Hell’s Bitch Kick with ease.

Romeo Ward is quick on the count and Kirsta Lewis notches a crucial victory on Mayhem before her ICONIC Hell’s Horror match with Erites Kallisten.

Kimber Marshall: Here is your winner in 6:12… “THE HELLCAT” KIRSTA LEWIS!!!

Chastity Gold: Give it up to BOTH of these ladies here tonight as I will always consider them two of the top female talents the wrestling world has to offer.

Rick Fantastic: Should be an exciting pay-per-view match between “K” and “E”, but I’m curious to see if Dawn McGill makes an appearance of her own, as she’s really come on strong here in HOW despite recent losses.

—————————

Dream Wrestling Federation

Lethal Lottery!
Slaughter heads to the former home of sVo: Showdown! All matches determined the night of the show!

Slaughter Line Up
—————————–

WEB CAST EXCLUSIVE TAPING

Force vs. Jimmy Riley

eGG Bandits vs. Brothers of Prophecy
Tag Team Title Match

SLAUGHTER TELEVISION TAPING

Dr. EMO vs. Bishop Steele

Charlie Blackwell vs. Upton Osgood

Marshall vs. B.R. Ellis

Travis Williams vs. Anti-Hero
You Call It Championship

501 vs. Lupin Cy
DREAM Championship

——————————————–

ICON TITLE
BURIED ALIVE REMATCH
Graystone vs. Shane Reynolds vs. Max Kael©

LSD TITLE
HOUSE OF MIRRORS MATCH
Tim Shipley vs. David Black©

HOFC FINALS
Bobbinette Carey vs. Michael DeNucci©

TAG TEAM TITLE
FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE ELIMINATION MATCH
Brothers of the Beast vs. The Egg Bandits vs. The Maurako Family vs. Twisted Reality©

HARDCORE SUBMISSION MATCH
SPECIAL REFEREE CHRIS CK
Trent vs. Jatt Starr

HELL’S HORROR MATCH
Erites Kallisten vs. Kirsta Lewis

SPECIAL ONE TIME ONLY MATCH
Ryan Faze vs. Big Buff Benny Newell

————————————–

MATCH #3-MVW Match from Keokuk, IA
Sabrina James and Alicia Rowe aka…The Pin-ups
vs.
NoCal Mal and Bettina Schultz w/’Totally Gore’ Bryan Horg aka…The Inconvenient Truth

James and NoCal Mal to begin. Lock up, to the corner, and NoCal Mal shoves James away. Lock up, knee by James and then chops follow. Off the ropes, hip toss by NoCal Mal. A clothesline follows and then rights. Off the ropes, kick by NoCal Mal, knee buster and then a neck breaker gets 2. Tag to Schultz, rights to James, off the ropes and a boot by NoCal Mal, neck breaker by Schultz and a cover for 2. James pokes Schultz in the eyes, Rowe tags in and slams Schultz to the corner. Chops by Rowe, right to NoCal Mal and then more chops to Schultz. Schultz fires back, eye rake by Rowe and then a shoulder block. Schultz with the elbows, knee drop and a cover for 2. Tag to NoCal Mal, DOUBLE SUPLEX! They toss James. Baseball slide by NoCal Mal, Schultz out as well and they brawl ringside. NoCal Mal and Rowe back in the ring, James trips up NoCal Mal and pulls her to the floor. Slams her to the barricade, and rolls her back in. Belly to belly by Rowe, and a cover for 2. James tags in, back elbow to NoCal Mal. Knees by James, chops and rights follow. Rowe chokes out NoCal Mal as James distracts the ref. Rowe tags in, slams NoCal Mal down and works the chinlock. Elbows by NoCal Mal, but walks into an overhead belly to belly, and Rowe covers for 2. Tag back to James Rowe holds up NoCal Mal, leg lariat by James and a cover for 2 as Schultz makes the save. Side kick by James, tags Rowe back in, chops by Rowe. NoCal Mal is down, Rowe whips NoCal Mal to the corner, boot to Rowe, tornado DDT follows and both men are down. Tags to Schultz and James. Schultz runs wild on both gals. Clotheslines for both, boot and a neck breaker to Rowe. Spinebuster to James. Blockbuster to Rowe for 2. NoCal Mal kicks James in the head, LUNG BLOWER/CLOTHESLINE combo to Rowe gets a close 2! Carbon Footprint try stopped, James tosses NoCal Mal, flatliner to Schultz by Rowe and she covers for a close 2. Rowe recliner on Schultz, she fights out, pulls Rowe into James, roll up by Schultz gets 2. NoCal Mal spits red mist into Rowe’s eyes, ref down, Carbon Footprint on Rowe! The ref is clearing his eyes, and then covers for 2 as James pulls her to the floor. James says NoCal Mal did it. The ref takes NoCal Mal to her corner, Ax kick to Schultz, Rowe rolls her up and they win.

WINNER: Sabrina James and Alicia Rowe at 6:40

MATCH #4 MVW Television Title Match from Keokuk, IA
MVW Television Champion Carrieanne McDermott
vs.
Dr. Annabel Lecktor w/FBI Special Agent Charlize Starling

Dr. Lecktor takes control right off the bat with a series of knee lifts and right hands. McDermott comes back with a back elbow, and a hiptoss. Elbow drop from McDermott gets a one count, but then she charges into a boot in the corner. Dr. Lecktor mounts McDermott with a series of right hands, and delivers a kick to the head. McDermott comes back with a backdrop, and a fisherman suplex for two. McDermott grabs a reverse chinlock, and backs Dr. Lecktor into the corner with it. Dr. Lecktor hits a cheapshot on the break, and connects with a suplex for two. Dr. Lecktor turns the table grabbing a reverse chinlock, and then delivers a kneelift. Neckbreaker from Dr. Lecktor gets a two count, and she follows that up with an elbow to the back of the head. Dr. Lecktor buries a shoulder into McDermott in the corner, and then measures McDermott with a pair of right hands. McDermott goes for a running bulldog, but Dr. Lecktor counters, and drops McDermott on the top rope. Swinging neckbreaker by Dr. Lecktor gets a two count, and then she continues working McDermott over in the corner as we head to break.

————————-

The Alaska Pitbull’s new book is called ‘Going Rogue.’ Click here to go to Amazon’s web site to look.

And while you’re there (cheap plug…cheap plug…) check out this book as well. Loose Cannons

There are some books you curl up with on a warm couch to read.

This isn’t one of them.

However, DeWayne Cantrell isn’t like most people.

And will American politics ever be the same?

FYI, several current PCW characters are in Loose Cannons including Johnny Sauve, Dawn McGill, Justin Sufferable, Chris Escondido, Starz N. Stripes aka Kevin Scott and many more.

————————-

Back from commercial and Dr. Lecktor is still in control with a reverse chinlock. McDermott powers out of it, but misses a charge and gets hit with a clothesline for two. Dr. Lecktor mounts McDermott again and delivers a series of right hands. Dr. Lecktor chokes McDermott out with her boot in the corner, and then hits a running clothesline in the corner. Dr. Lecktor heads to the top rope, but gets caught by McDermott who sets up for the Attitude Adjustment off the top. Dr. Lecktor is able to counter and deliver an electric chair drop for a two count. Dr. Lecktor drops a series of knees on the back of the neck of McDermott, and then hits a legdrop. Running boot to the face by Dr. Lecktor gets another two count, and then she charges into a drop toehold from McDermott. McDermott goes for the STF, but gets kicked off by Dr. Lecktor who then locks in a sleeper. McDermott backs Dr. Lecktor into the corner to break the hold, and then ducks a clothesline. McDermott hits a pair of shoulderblocks and is followed by a blockbuster from McDermott. McDermott goes up top for a Top rope Rocker Dropper and gets ambushed by a returning ‘Manchester Masterpiece’ Brooke Evans.

Evans pushes McDermott off the top to the floor and lays a beatdown on the Television Champ. Evans with three suplexes in a row on the floor leaves McDermott bloodied and beaten.

WINNER BY DQ AND STILL MVW TELEVISION CHAMPION: Carrieanne McDermott at 13:52

MATCH #5 Non-title match
PCW Television Champion SNAFU w/Dawn McGill
(American Heartland Coalition)
vs.
PCW Champion ‘Hollywood A-List’s’ Stone Chism
w/the Skanky Rich Bimbos- Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan (Progressive Alliance)

Chism gets a headlock and talks trash. Shoulderblock takes Chism down. Boot to the gut and a whip by SNAFU, he chrages but Chism gets a boot up and hits a top rope rana. SNAFU goes to the floor, Chism tries a slide kick but SNAFU catches his legs and WHIPS HIS HEAD INTO THE BARRICADE! That’s Motrin pain. SNAFU poses while Chism counts stars. Dawn McGill whacks Chism with her Singapore cane for good measure drawing the ire of the SRB. She throws Chism back inside. SNAFU slingshots Chism’s neck into the underside of the bottom rope, then gets a delayed suplex for 2. Crossface chickenwing applied by SNAFU. Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan hit the ring and break the hold. Chism gets placed on top backwards, SNAFU goes up behind him and Chism elbows him off and charges into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for 2. SNAFU takes Chism to the corner and chokes him a little. For fun. SNAFU kicks Chism under the rope and to the floor. SNAFU tries to suplex Chism back in, he comes out the back and tries to rally with some shots but SNAFU hits a muay thai knee to the head for 2. Butterfly lock by SNAFU now. Chism gets to his feet and kicks the knee of SNAFU, a whip is reversed by Chism hangs on to the ropes. SNAFU charges but Chism moves and SNAFU goes to the floor! CHISM FLIES! Moonsault to the floor. Chism kicks away at the legs of SNAFU, then comes HIGH off the top with a springboard crossbody for 2. Headscissors by Chism and a triple-jump moonsault!!! Holy hell! 2 count only. Whip by Chism but he drops his head, SNAFU kicks him in it and whips him, Chism tries a quebrada press but SNAFU catches him…POWERSLAM! 1…2…2.8022! SNAFU slows the pace down with some measured shots. Whip to the corner, SNAFU charges and gets ringpost. MOONSAULT PRESS gets 2 for Chism. Chism tries the rana again, SNAFU holds on and counters to the Cobra Clutch Middle of the ring, nowhere to go! Chism crawls to the ropes and gets there with the help of some shots to the thigh of SNAFU. SNAFU charges and Chism moves AGAIN, but SNAFU holds on! Dropkick by Chism misses and SNAFU is in position for an Arabian Facebuster…SNAFU moves! BOOM SNAFU levels him with a clothesline from the apron. SNAFU goes up top, Chism meets him and stops that idea. Chism goes up with him and tries a rana…SUPER POWERBOMB COUNTER! FEET ON THE ROPES! 1…2…2.90006!!! Lionsault attempt MISSES! Rana! 1…2…NO!!! Chism ducks a clothesline, dropkick to the back! Arabian Facebuster position! Chism charges…SNAFU catches him! Argentine backbreaker, he spins…DDT BY CHISM! 1…2…2.9117! WOW. Chism ducks another clothesline, tries to leap off with a springboard HOLLYWOOD BLOCKBUSTER!!! Chism is slow to cover!!! 1…2…2.9744!!!!!!! SNAFU argues with the ref before hitting a stun gun. He perches Chism on the top and goes up with him. Headbutts by Chism. He went for a super Hollywood Blockbuster but the Axis of Evil hit the ring and all hell breaks loose.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad gets on the mic and says ‘if you think I’ve got a Weapon of Mass Destruction, you’re right. He’s right here.’ Whip and a HUGE chop by Khalid El sends Chism to the floor. Short arm clothesline on the floor, and another big chop. Khalid El measure another but only gets the post! Chism with a HUGE dropkick off the apron! He goes for it again but Khalid El cuts him off with another chop. Boot to the face by Khalid El and he measures Chism…WAIT! IT’S RAHM EMANUEL! Emanuel is in the ring! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! He wears out Khalid El with several chair shots to the knees.

On the other side, Dawn McGill just finishes annihilating the Skanky Rich Bimbos with repeated Singapore caneshots, and she gets blindsided by Missouri Valley Wrestling’s Tag Team Champions Angels of Death! SNAFU tries to help Dawn but he gets attacked by Dr. Phil wannabe, Self-Help Guru and Manager of Champions Dr. Bill and the Midnite Rockin’ Xpress. AoD’s Angel Scott and Angel Casey overpower McGill and nail a Death Spiral Drop on her on the ring floor. Dr. Bill and his ‘bionic’ arm KO SNAFU and leave him in a heap in the ring.

WINNER: Match thrown out.

Tonight on PCW/MVW House Show...Show

Political Championship Wrestling — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 16:59:36 +0000

Tonight’s card:

PCW: The Goatbusters (Ray Scantz and Peter Jenkman) vs. Richard Headd/Michael Hunt aka Guys With Unfortunate First Names w/Rob Hull and his Emo in the corner (Island of Misfit Wrestlers)

MVW: Replay of Dawn McGill/Kirsta Lewis match from High Octane Wrestling Monday night.

MVW: The Pinups ‘Sabrina James/Alicia Rowe’ vs. The Inconvenient Truth w/’Totally Gore’ Bryan Horg

MVW: Replay of Dr. Annabel Lecktor’s final HOW appearance

MVW- TV Title Match: Television Champion Carrieanne McDermott vs. Dr. Annabel Lecktor w/FBI Special Agent Charlize Starling

PCW: PCW TV Champ SNAFU w/Dawn McGill (American Heartland Coalition) vs. PCW Champion ‘Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism w/the Skanky Rich Bimbos- Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan (Progressive Alliance)

Sarah Palin Is Bus-ted !!!

lynnrockets — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 13:01:11 +0000

Sarah Palin exits jet (oops, we mean bus) with G.I. Joe while Michael Steele holds back the crowd.

The “Sarah Palin Blue-Collar Book-Bombing Bus Tour” has been busted. The former ex-quitting governor of Alaska likes to promote the public image that she is a “Joan Sixpack”. She would have the American public believe that she buys her clothes at consignment shops, purchases used cars and clips coupons. All of this is done in a purposely choreographed manner in an attempt to create an “us” versus “them” political atmosphere wherein Palin is one of “us” (or is it “them”? Now I’m confused.). Anyway, as we all know, you can’t judge a book by its cover. You must examine the prose beneath in order to determine whether you are reading fiction or non-fiction. In the case of Sarah Palin, the truth is that her public persona is pure unadulterated fiction.

Palin has little to nothing in common with her targeted band of supporters other than a lack of education. She lives in a Kennedy-like Hyannisport waterfront compound of separate custom built structures, one of which doubles as an aircraft hangar. She raised her children with the help of a hired nanny. She and her husband, the once and future “First Dude” are unemployed as a matter of choice, not circumstance. She also spends more time traveling the country than she does at her home. This is not the life of the average American that she claims to identify with so well.

And now we learn that Sarah Palin’s cross-country bus tour is also a carefully manufactured facade. Palin announced that she would travel the country by means of motorcoach as a symbolic way to meet and greet her working class supporters in the manner by which many of them travel (i.e. public transportation). Problem is, she seldom rides the bus. In fact, Palin travels from city to city in the lap of luxury by means of a donated private corporate jet. After landing at each destination on her tour, she discreetly boards the bus that is waiting for her at either the airport or her hotel and travels in workmanlike fashion to each booksigning where her supporters are led to believe that the bus was her only means of travel. How cunningly deceptive. Nonetheless, could we expect anything other than trickery from the would be Liar in Chief? Probably not.

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Bennie And The Jets song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0WCQadt864

SARAH AND HER JET

(sung to the Elton John song “Bennie and the Jets”)

Hey kids, let’s sing this together
Sarah Palin’s brain-dead fans
Are as tasteful as shoe leather
They’re a filthy bunch of pigs that
Should be hosed-down
You’re never gonna wanna be ‘round a
Bigger bunch of clowns

And Sarah flies to them on a private jet - (ooh)
But they’re so spaced out, (sa sa sa sa sa) Sarah and her jet
Oh, if those fans only had a clue
She signs books to take their green
She thinks it’s a hoot to rake in their loot
And she still cannot name a magazine (no)
(sa, sa, sa) Sarah and her jet

Her fans left waiting in bad weather
Treated just like pawns
Yet still sticking together
She’s in the sky, stringing all of them along
She leaves them cold and wet out in the streets
That’s where she thinks they belong

She gave up the tour-bus for a private jet - (ooh)
That bus had no clout, (sa sa sa sa sa) Sarah and her jet
Oh, the big Leer-Jet’s so wonderful
Fitting for Alaska’s queen
She’s got her mukluk boots, Arctic Cat suit
I saw it pictured in a magazine (ohh ho)
(sa sa sa)Sarah and her jet

(Musical Interlude)

She’s living the high life, on that you can bet - (ooh)
But she’s so spaced out, (sa sa sa sa sa) Sarah and her jet
Oh, but palin is so full of bull
Slippery as Vaseline
She thinks that it’s a hoot to aim and shoot
And take her daily dose of Thorazine (ohh ho)
(sa sa sa)Sarah and her jet

Sarah, Sarah and her jet
Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah and her jet
Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah and her jet
Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah and her jet
Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah and her jet (jet) (jet) (jet)
Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah and her jet.

Sarah Palin: The Fibber On Twitter

lynnrockets — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 13:50:58 +0000

Palin arrives by jet, oops we mean bus, in Orlando, FL.

Thanks to our friends over at Palingates (and yes, we are aware of the updated correction), another pack of the former ex-quitting governor’s lies (or purposely misleading statements) has been exposed. Last week that blog revealed that contrary to public opinion and official Palin announcements, Sarah Palin is not actually on a bus tour to promote sales of her ghost-written memoir. In fact, rather than traveling in a workingman’s motor coach to each of the rural hamlets where she hawks the tome, Sarah prefers the elitist comforts of a privately owned luxury jet. It appears that she takes the jet to the next city on her tour and then discreetly rides the bus only a short distance from either her hotel or the airport to the next book signing event. She is not forthright with regard to her means of travel because she wants her fan base to believe that she is one of them; hardworking and frugal in these recessionary times. She wants them to believe that she lives like them by shopping at second hand stores and by the hands-on raising of her children. This is a calculated deception however, because in reality she and her family wore $ 150,000.00 worth of clothes that were purchased by means of campaign donations and she pays nannies to raise her children.

Sarah Palin’s deceptions continue by means of her Twitter posts. Once again, the folks at Palingates exposed the deception. On the morning of November 24, 2009, Palin posted the following message on her twitter account:

On bus to Jacksonville, FL book signing. The Southern hospitality around here is unsurpassed – thx for the encouragement!3 book events today

In fact, Palin may have been traveling by bus at that moment, but she certainly did not ride the bus from Birmingham, AL to Jacksonville, FL. The flight log (see below) of her luxury jet reveals that she arrived via plane in Jacksonville the previous evening (November 23, 2009) at 10:09 pm. Palin supporters might be tempted to say that although the plane was in Jacksonville, there is no evidence that Palin was on the plane. Problem is, the plane seems to arrive at and depart from Palin’s book signing event locations on the very day that Palin arrives and departs from those locales. Notice the arrivals and departures from Rochester, NY, Fayetteville, NC, Birmingham, AL, Jacksonville, FL, Orlando, FL and Tri-Cities, WA. That would be quite a coincidence if Palin were not on board.

Great work Palingates!

Today’s song parody is based upon Sarah Palin’s high flying lies about her means of travel. Please enjoy.

Remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with the parody.

Leaving On A Jet Plane song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4hsC0nRvZM

FLYIN’ ON A JET PLANE

(sung to the John Denver song “Leaving On A Jet Plane”)

All her bags are packed, she’ll “go with the flow”
Dressed like a flight attendant ‘ho
To raise some cash Palin takes to the sky
The “First Dude” must stay home, he’s so forlorn
Stapleton’s waiting, she’s blowing her horn
To hell with that bus, Sarah wants to fly

She’s bitchy yet smiles with glee
Giddy that they pay her fee
She’s more famous now than Plumber Joe
She’s flyin’ on a jet plane
She’ll never ride that old bus again
She’s raking in the dough

From Fayetteville her plane leaves the ground
In Birmingham it touches down
Sarah Palin sits next to the wing
She meets her fans and signs some books too
Then back on the jet with the nice view
Sarah Palin is living like a king

She’s bitchy yet smiles with glee
All her fans have paid her fee
She is headed now for Jacksonville
She’s leavin’ on a jet plane
Her fans left standing out in the rain
They hate to see her go

In Orlando she tells the crew
We now must fly someplace new
Send that decoy bus upon its way
She knows that her fans are dumb
But her plane travel must stay mum
Or they might stop donating their pay

She’s bitchy yet smiles with glee
Happy that they paid her fee
Thinking of the ways she’ll spend her dough
She’s leavin’ on a jet plane
Profiting from their lack of brains
She smiles at them below

Sarah Palin Fans: Brain-Dead In Ohio

lynnrockets — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 13:01:58 +0000

Sarah Palin brings gift to the King of Ohio.

Sarah Palin’s Magical Mavericky Tour made a stop in Columbus, Ohio this week. Needless to say, all of that city’s brain-dead nutcases stormed the local Borders Books in an attempt to meet and greet the former ex-quitting governor of Alaska. Words cannot describe however, the lack of intelligence on display at the book signing. There has never been a lesser informed group of people assembled in one public place since all of those zombies congregated at the shopping mall in the George Romero film, Dawn Of The Dead? Okay, perhaps there were more brain-dead zombies at Glenn Beck’s Tea-Bagger protest in Washington, DC, but we did not get as good a look at their individual stupidity at that event as we did in Columbus. Please watch the video clip below to get a good taste.

Duh, “She’s the epitome of conservative-ness.” Bwa-ha-ha-ha !!!

“She’s someone that can make a difference but I never thought about it.” Slapping knees with laughter!!!

“I don’t know what she knows or doesn’t know. I wouldn’t know half the things anyone would ask me.” Huh?

“The politically correctness has got to get out now.” Please stop, you’re killing me.

In honor of the troops, please click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s topical song parody.

Ohio song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GI7-m919ynU&feature=related

BRAIN DEAD IN OHIO

(sung to the Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young song “Ohio”)

Tin helmuts and Palin’s slummin’
Intelligence bought on loan
To Borders these fools are comin’
Brain-dead in Ohio

Add a few clowns to it
Columbus is such a strange town
People that aren’t “in the know”
Went to meet Palin and
They made some mumbling sounds
And they forked over their dough

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na

‘Nother small town blew it
By letting Palin hang ‘round
Should have realized long ago
Don’t even know her, yet
They feel she is profound
They’re as dumb as Plumber Joe

These morons see Palin comin’
They can’t wait to hear her drone
When she leaves they will be bummin’
Brain-dead in Ohio
Brain-dead in Ohio
Brain-dead in Ohio
Brain-dead in Ohio
Brain-dead in Ohio
Brain-dead in Ohio
Brain-dead in Ohio
Brain-dead in Ohio
Brain-dead in Ohio
Brain-dead in Ohio
(repeat to fade)

It's time.

fredila — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 21:35:52 +0000

OK, surprise, I didn’t read the Snow Queen’s book. But I did pass it on the sale table

AP Edits Video - Joe The Plumber

oldhardhead — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 01:46:55 +0000

I looked for the famous ‘Joe The Plumber’ video to post on the videos page… and found something odd.

Here is a video, it appears to be from the Associated Press. Notice the interruptions – the edits. Listen for Obama talking about “spreading the wealth around.” It’s just at the end where it fades out.

Here is the whole conversation.

Listen carefully from about 4:07 into the video, beginning with Obama saying “I do believe, for folks like you, who are, you know, worked hard but frankly also been lucky…

That was the most important part, the controversial part that propelled Joe The Plumber into the history books. It sure exposed Obama’s socialist/Marxist thinking. What the heck goes on here… AP edited it out?

Is this a case of media bias? Are the “news” media journalists carrying water for their “boyfriend?” It sure looks that way to me.

Does the healthcare plan include a 50% tax cut for healthcare expenses as Obama claimed in the video?

http://wp.me/pFeEj-8H

11/21-PCW Extreme Political TV on P-SPAN: Soccer's Going Rogue, New Moon Frolics, Bipartisan Dream Teams

Political Championship Wrestling — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 15:15:34 +0000

PCW Extreme Political TV
‘The Palace of Political Extreme’ aka PCW Hall
Saturday November 21st
Host: Johnny Suave

PCW RANKINGS

PCW WORLD CHAMPION: ‘Hollywood A-Lister’ Stone Chism (Progressive Alliance)
PCW TELEVISION CHAMPION: SNAFU (Independent)
CONTENDERS:
#1- Starz N. Stripes (Progressive Alliance)
#2- Khalid-El (Axis of Evil)
#3- Bird ‘The Mark’ Ridfych (Independent)
#4- Newt Tron Bomb (American Patriots)
#5- American Trucker (American Heartland Coalition)
#6- ‘The King of Old School Gimmicks’ Baron Von Munchke (Old School Kings)

PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido and Starz N. Stripes (Progressive Alliance)
PCW TAG TEAM TELEVISION CHAMPIONS: Big Oil and Big Electric (Public Utilities)
CONTENDERS:
#1- A. Tom Bomb and Hy Drogen Bomb (American Patriots)
#2- Midnite Rockin’ Xpress- Bobby Ricky Michaels/Marty Gibson-Lane (Old School Kings)
#3- Jack and Bull Schett (Ron Paul’s New Libertarian Army)
#4- NCISF’d
#5- Extreme Weather Network-Steve Abrams/Mike Bettis (EWN)
#6- The Goatbusters (Island of Misfit Wrestlers)

Suave notes the rise of American Trucker to #5 after his win over Baron Von Munchke who drops from #4 to #6.

WWR RANKINGS
TAG TEAM TOP 25
1. The Entourage (Spike Saunders/Callie Urban)- FWO* 37
2. Vox Nihili (Alias & Karina Wolfenden)- FWO       36
3. The Anthology(Jared Wells & Larry Tact)- EPW 34
4. Chris Escondido/Kevin Scott- PCW *      32
5. Hollywood Wrecking Crew- NFW 31
21. Public Utilities(Big Oil/Big Electric)- PCW **     13.1

MEN’S TOP 30
51. SNAFU- PCW ** 51.1
54. ‘Hollywood A-Lister’ Stone Chism- PCW * 50.2

Suave congratulates Escondido and Scott, Public Utilities, and all those who made the rankings.

Tonight on PCW Extreme Political TV:
American Trucker (American Heartland Coalition) vs. Newt Tron Bomb (American Patriots)

The Goatbusters vs. The Extreme Weather Network

Blue Dog D (Progressive Alliance) and Rino (American Patriots) vs. ‘Raving Rednecks’ Locke and Loade (American Patriots)

Suave reviews the New Mexico soccer incident involving Elizabeth Lambert…

…and the recent World Cup Qualifying controversy involving France’s Thierry Henry.

MATCH #1
New Mexico soccer player Elizabeth Lambert
vs.
France soccer player Thierry Henry
Henry gains control due to a test of strength. Henry with chops to Lambert, he grabs a headlock takedown which quickly becomes a headscissors. Lambert escapes with some well-placed elbows and both are up. Lambert runs off the ropes and tries a shoulder block. Nothing. She tries again. Same result. Lambert tries kicking him first but this time Henry takes her down. Lambert runs off the ropes, Henry catches the leapfrog attempt and turns it into a fireman’s carry cutter. Fist drop by Henry, a scoop slam and a second rope knee drop which misses. Lambert wraps Henry’s leg in the ropes then dropkicks it. Shinbreaker by Lambert! Lambert out to grab a chair and back in. Henry manages gets loose. Lambert clobbers him with the chair. Henry staggers back to his corner. What? He’s raising the white flag? Johnny Suave utters his first ‘HOLY CRAP’ of the night. Lambert yanks Henry by what hair he has and throws him face first to the mat. The referee calls for the bell. Kicks by Lambert now and she doesn’t let up. The ref tries to pull Lambert off Henry. Lambert elbows him in the stomach. Lambert bends down and starts bouncing Henry’s head off the canvas. The bell rings a second time. Lambert continues to assault Henry.

The announcement is made that Lambert won the match due to Henry submitting. Suddenly, an enraged Zinedine Zidane runs into the ring and verbally abuses the referee. HEAD BUTT to the referee! Zidane grabs Lambert and pulls her off Henry. Zidane goes for a head butt. Lambert eludes and takes a free kick right to Zidane’s balls. Mercifully, security finally intervenes before more bloodshed and a possible international incident results.

WINNER: Elizabeth Lambert in 2:35

Suave then reviews the recent release of The Alaskan Pitbull’s new book, Going Rogue, and then replays Bill Clinton’s Hot Tub from a few weeks back.

(Replay from 10/7-PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV- PART 2)
BILL CLINTON’S HOT TUB
Slick Announcer Guy: “And now, it’s time for our new feature on PCW Extreme Political TV, Bill Clinton’s Hot Tub. And here’s your host, Bill Clinton.” Clinton, inside a steaming hot tub, waves to the audience. Clinton: “Good evening. Tonight on our new show, Bill Clinton’s Hot Tub, we are damn lucky to have one of the most polarizing figures in American politics today. And even better, she’s hot looking! Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin!” The camera pans over to Palin who seems a little uncomfortable with the whole arrangement. Her clothes are stacked up by the side of the hot tub and she tries to keep as low as possible inside the hot tub. Clinton: “Governor Palin, I am profoundly appreciative that you came on my show tonight.” Palin: “Um…thank you, President Clinton. But, was it really necessary for both of us to take all of our clothes off?” Clinton: “Well, it all depends on what your definition of ‘clothes’ is. Is it a metaphoric reference to cover up what we really feel inside or is it more of an issue of not wanting to totally put yourself out there?” Palin: “Riiiight. You betcha. Can we get to my book?” Clinton reaches over and grabs a copy of Palin’s new book, Going Rogue. Clinton: “From her humble beginnings to her time in the spotlight as the first female Republican Vice Presidential candidate, Sarah Palin has led an extraordinary life. Going Rogue will recount her political experiences, her time as Mayor of Wasilla and as the first female governor of Alaska, as well as her rapid rise on the national stage during the 2008 campaign. Additionally, she’ll share insights into the personal challenges she’s faced including balancing her time as a working mother, recognizing the war’s impact with her son serving combat in Iraq, having a child with a disability and supporting her teenage daughter through an unplanned pregnancy.” Palin: “I just wanted to tell my side of the story and share the experiences that I’ve gone through over the past year of so.” Clinton: “Very intriguing. Going Rogue. I think I’d like your book better if you called it Going Commando. BWHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHA” Palin: “Mr. President, that’s not the least bit funny.” Clinton: “BWHAHAHAHAHAHA…haha… hahaha….ha ha……ha…………..ha…oh, all right. You-a…you became a lightning rod for any number of groups. Some thought you were refreshing. Others didn’t think you were ready for prime time. You believe this book tells us all about the real Sarah Palin? Palin: “Yes I do. It’s about growing up in Alaska, meeting Todd, running for office, addresses my beliefs in faith and family, um, the book is about who I am.” Clinton: “All right, before we go, I have to ask you a favor.” Palin: “Um…what?” Clinton: “Can you do that whole put your hands in the air thing you did on Saturday Night Live?” Palin: “Not right at this moment.” Clinton: “Shucks. Okay, that’s it for Bill Clinton’s Hot Tub. Tune in next week when-” Hillary’s Voice: “WILLIAM JEFFERSON CLINTON!” Clinton: “Oh ****. Hillary doesn’t know I have company. Can you kind of go under the water for a few seconds and…” Palin: “I don’t think so.” Hillary enters, none too happy. Clinton: “Hi honey, how you do-” *CLANG* Hillary connects with a frying pan to the mush.

Suave: “And we’re back. That was intellectually stimulating…okay…it was stimulating, but we won’t get into details…

—————————————–

The Alaska Pitbull’s new book is called ‘Going Rogue.’ Click here to go to Amazon’s web site to look.

And while you’re there (cheap plug…cheap plug…) check out this book as well. Loose Cannons

There are some books you curl up with on a warm couch to read.

This isn’t one of them.

However, DeWayne Cantrell isn’t like most people.

And will American politics ever be the same?

———–

Suave notes as an FYI, several current PCW characters are in Loose Cannons including him, Dawn McGill, Justin Sufferable, Chris Escondido, Starz N. Stripes aka Kevin Scott and many more.

—————————-
COMMERCIAL BREAK
_________________

Dream Wrestling Federation

DARK MATCHES
Remy Leroux vs. Jay Price
Charlie Blackwell vs. Max Douglas
Zero vs. Daymare

SLAUGHTER TELEVISION TAPING
Casey Pierro-Zabatol vs. Force
Bishop Steele vs. Upton Osgood
Cancer Jiles vs. Billy Wilson w/Bob Wilson
Adrien Cochrane vs. Travis Williams

Doozer vs. Marshall
DWF World Championship

Lupin Cy vs. 501
DREAM Championship Match

Dunkin’ Donuts Center – Providence, RI
November 23, 2009 12:00 AM

“Perfect” Paul Paras v Aceldama©
The referee for this match is Mystery Ref, and the rules are Street Fight Match.

Holmes v Erites Kallisten
The referee for this match is Romeo Ward, and the rules are Standard Match.

Golden Phoenix v Black Mamba
The referee for this match is Frank Tsonga, and the rules are Standard Match.

Doozer v Jason Midnight
The referee for this match is Romeo Ward, and the rules are Standard Match.

Graystone v Tim Shipley
The referee for this match is Frank Tsonga, and the rules are Standard Match.

_______________________

Replay from last week: Shaun Phillips and T-Bag (American Patriots) vs. Blue Dog D (Progressive Alliance) and RINO (American Patriots)
Suave: “Phillips still down after taking a Gore from RINO. Blue Dog D with a running lariat and that bounces T-Bag hard off the mat. Blue Dog D walks around him…he’s measuring him…” Blue Dog D pulls T-Bag up and tucks his head under his armpit. He hoists him up, and then falls back onto the floor. Suave: “FILIBUSTER BUSTER! FILIBUSTER BUSTER! COVER! DAVEY KEELS COUNTS…1 …2 …3!“

Replay from last week:“The Raving Rednecks” Locke and Loade (American Patriots) vs. Mr. Jaundice and Captain Nausea w/Movie Classic (Island of Misfit Wrestlers)
Suave: “LOCKE GOT HIM WITH THE HIP TOSS. MR. JAUNDICE SCRAMBLES TO THE CORNER AND TAGS IN CAPTAIN NAUSEA. Captain Nausea in…he whips Locke to the corner. Mr. Jaundice gets a cheap shot from behind. Captain Nausea sets up…elbowdrop. Mr. Jaundice runs back in…he drops the leg Locke. Gary Loade’s had enough. He’s in. HE DDT’S CAPTAIN NAUSEA TO THE MAT! LOCKE AND LOADE HAVE HIM UP…HERE IT COMES…WHAM! FOUR-D REDNECK DEATHBLAST! LOCKE COVERS…1 …2 …3!”

BACKSTAGE
American Patriots Leader Eric Cantor implores the Raving Rednecks Locke and Loade to defeat the BiPartisan Dream Team. Cantor, Chief Deputy Whip Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.), Rep. Mary Bono Mack (R-Calif.) and Rep. Paul Broun (R-Ga.) oppose the Progressive Alliance’s plan to provide universal health insurance to PCW roster members. RINO and Blue Dog D favor compromise on a health insurance plan as long as its fiscally responsible.

MATCH #2
Blue Dog D (Progressive Alliance) and RINO (American Patriots)
vs.
‘Raving Rednecks’ Locke and Loade (American Patriots)
Locke gets control very early with a knee to the face and a running neckbreaker. A pair of clotheslines by Locke, RINO tries to toss him over the top but he skins the cat and comes back in with a flying forearm. ARRIBA! Locke tosses RINO out but HE skins the cat…and gets kicked in the face. Locke low-bridges Blue Dog D and Locke gets an assisted crossbody to the floor on both men. Back inside, Loade gets some chops to RINO and then an inverted atomic. Loade drops his head too early and gets kicked in the face, the tag is made to Blue Dog D who hits a SILKY flying European. Loade comes back with a back elbow and a pair of clotheslines, tag is made to Locke and they hit a series of double teams culminating in a knee drop for 2 by Locke. Blue Dog D gets some forearms to regain control, he calls for RINO but Locke runs through the double team and clotheslines both men. All 4 men in the ring, they hang Blue Dog D in the tree of woe and whip RINO into him! EWWWW they crotche RINO on the face of Blue Dog D, then RINO falls on top of him in a…shall we say compromising position? I think we shall. Locke gets a boot up to a charging Blue Dog D, but Blue Dog D comes back with some forearms and whips Locke into RINO’ knee. RINO is in now, back elbow by RINO. Tag back to Blue Dog D, what the hell are they doing? They just did a tour of Locke’s hands and feet…never mind it was dumb. Whip to Locke, Blue Dog D hits a knee in the corner followed by a big boot by RINO and a knee drop by Blue Dog D. RINO is the legal man and gets a 2 count. RINO slaps around Locke and gets his teeth rearranged with a superkick. Tag to Loade, clothesline! A pair! A trio! Baaaaaack body drop. Inverted atomic for RINO! He is a House~! En! FUEGO~!! Chop for Blue Dog D and a Blockbuster gets 2. Whip to RINO and Locke kicks him in the back of the head from the apron. Double team suplex! Assisted uranage slam by Loade gets two before RINO breaks it up. RINO and Blue Dog D set for the Flibuster Buster, Eric Cantor now ringside and up on the ring apron. Locke uses the distraction to hit a low blow. Locke lifts RINO up…4-D REDNECK DEATHBLAST! Loade gets the rollup for 3!

WINNER: ‘Raving Rednecks’ Locke and Loade in 7:22

Post match, the Green World Order (GreenPete, Extreme Vegan Brock Cole Lee, PeaceNick, and Peta from PETA) run-in. Cantor vacates. Lee and GreenPete eject Locke and Loade forceably from the ring. PeaceNick protests the violent manner of which Lee and GreenPete forceably eject Locke and Loade from the ring. Peta just screams out “”THANKSGIVING IS MURDER ON TURKEYS!” over and over. Crowd: “PEOPLE EATING (clap, clap clap-clap-clap) TASTY ANIMALS! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap) Peta shouts out her alternative: “THE TOFURKY ROAST! THE BEST-SELLING TURKEY ALTERNATIVE Crowd: “PEOPLE EATING (clap, clap clap-clap-clap) TASTY ANIMALS! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap) Peta: “SHUT UP! THE TOFURKY ROAST IS A PRE-COOKED VEGETARIAN ROAST-” Crowd: “BOOOOOOOO!” Peta: “IS MADE FROM A TOFU-WHEAT PROTEIN BLEND-” Crowd: “BOOOOOOOOO!” Peta: “IT HAS AN INCREDIBLE TURKEY-LIKE TEXTURE AND FLAVOR-” Voice: “SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!”

Politically Incorrect (‘The Princess of Political Incorrectness’ Andrea Doria, Al Cahall, and Nic Koteen) come out with a cooked turkey ready to be eaten. Crowd: “PEOPLE EATING (clap, clap clap-clap-clap) TASTY ANIMALS! (clap, clap clap-clap-clap) Cahall tells Peta that people are tired of being badgered by others telling them what they can eat, drink, and think. Cahall: “Just shut up. Don’t eat meat if that’s your choice. But leave people alone. Things are bad enough without zealots like you telling them what to do.” Koteen, in between puffs from his cigarette, starts throwing slabs of turkey meat to the crowd. Crowd: “RRRRRAHAHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Peta throws a fit. Peta: “STOP THAT! STOP IT!” GreenPete and Brock Cole Lee hop out of the ring and confront Politically Incorrect. GreenPete knocks over the wagon holding the turkey. Cahall takes the baster and squirts turkey juice in his eyes. Andrea Doria grabs the cutting board and blasts GreenPete in the back of his head. His eyes roll up and he falls to the floor. Koteen takes the pot of boiling hot water and dumps it on Brock Cole Lee. Doria then nails him with the solid wooden cutting board and takes him out.

———————————
COMMERCIAL BREAK
———————————

Every Thursday Night from our friends at High Octane Wrestling

The Best Arena, Chicago IL
November 26, 2009 12:00 AM

Mario Maurako v Mr. Cool
The referee for this match is Rick “Even” Stevens, and the rules are HOFC Bout.

Trent v Jay Davis
The referee for this match is Jatt Starr, and the rules are Standard Match.

Justin Decent v Chris CK
The referee for this match is Jatt Starr, and the rules are Standard Match.

Bobbinette “Queen B” Carey v Joseph Gregory
The referee for this match is Rick “Even” Stevens, and the rules are HOFC Bout.

Max Kael© v Twisted Reality© v Shane Reynolds v Brothers of the Beast
The referee for this match is Matt Boettcher, and the rules are Standard Match.

Missouri Valley Wrestling Association

MVWA 15 from Terre Haute, Indiana

Sabrina James and Alicia Rowe
vs.
Vatican Vice Squad

Weathergirl Hallie
vs.
Corrina Romanov

MVW TELEVISION TITLE MATCH
Champion Carrieanne McDermott
vs.
‘Lingerie Girl’ Brandi Bayless

NON-TITLE MATCH
Miss USA
vs.
American Pi

——————————-
——————————-

N-Bomb and General R.C. Patton already in the ring ready for their match.

*Bobby Bare’s Tequila Sheila begins to play*

Suave: “And here comes the American Trucker being led to the ring by Tequila Sheila.”

Pour me another Tequila Sheila,
Take off that red satin dress
I cross the border and I beat the dealer
For all the damn gold in Juarez.

I feel like old Pancho Villa, Sheila
And sure could use a friend (I got Pesso to spend)
So pour me another Tequilla Sheila
And lay down n’love me again.

Though I can tell you about it
But don’t mind my gun by the bed
I feel kind of naked without it
And it eases the fear in my head.

Just pass me the salt n’the lemon
Bend down n’blow out the light
I never had trusted the woman
But Sheila I’ll trust you tonight.

Chorus:
Pour me another Tequila Sheila
Take off that red satin dress
I cross the border and I beat the dealer
Dor all the damn gold in Juarez.

I feel like old Pancho Villa, Sheila
And sure could use a friend (I got Pesso to spend)
So pour me another Tequilla Sheila,
And lay down n’love me again..

Charlene Ann: “…weighing in at 225 pounds, from Gary, Indiana, a member of American Heartland Coalition, accompanied by Tequila Sheila, American Trucker!!!”

MATCH #3
Newt Tron Bomb w/General R.C. Patton (American Patriots)
vs.
American Trucker w/Tequila Sheila (American Heartland Coalition)
N-Bomb is hesitant before getting in the ring and locking up with American Trucker. Slow to start. They lockup again and American Trucker sends N-Bomb over the top rope. N-Bomb again avoids American Trucker, guess that. Back in the ring and N-Bomb hits an uppercut and goes to the top rope, American Trucker goes for the Jake Brake which N-Bomb is able to escape. American Trucker lays in the sick back elbow sequence. American Trucker in control. He actually takes time out to go give high fives to the fans. That might just come back to haunt him. N-Bomb knocks American Trucker out of the ring and goes for a dive but American Trucker catches him and slams him spine-first into the corner. They make their way back into the ring where American Trucker hits a double fist off the top rope followed by a missed Carbon Footprint. N-Bomb goes to work on American Trucker’s leg, Indian Deathlock chained into a Figure Four. American Trucker tries to reverse and eventually is able to but N-Bomb gets to the ropes. American Trucker clotheslines N-Bomb on his knees and then nails N-Bomb twice. He then hits a side slam for a near fall. N-Bomb tries to go up top but is caught, leading to American Trucker hitting a fall away slam. He goes for a chokeslam but N-Bomb gets out of it, American Trucker eventually hits it for a two count. Jake Brake gets countered by N-Bomb, GERMAN! Twice! THRICE!! N-Bomb covers 1…2…no! American Trucker rushes at N-Bomb but gets hit with a Scoop Slam! 1…2…NO! N-Bomb going for ‘Silent But Deadly’…American Trucker gets out of it and goes for a power bomb which N-Bomb counters into another Ankle Lock. American Trucker again gets out. N-Bomb rushes at American Trucker but ends up hitting the steel post, leaving American Trucker open to hit the Jake Brake! Cover. 1…2…2.9007!!!! American Trucker goes for a Tombstone but N-Bomb gets out of it and again locks in an Ankle Lock. American Trucker eventually gets out of it and hits a huge clothesline for two. American Trucker goes up to the top rope but General R.C. Patton smacks him with his horse whip and AT falls off. N-Bomb gets up and hits a belly to belly Suplex. N-Bomb then hits a Frog Splash!! 1…2…NO!! N-Bomb heads back to the top, American Trucker is up, victory roll by N-Bomb! 1…2…3!

WINNER: NEWT TRON BOMB in 6:49

BACKSTAGE
PCW Champion ‘Hollywood A-Lister’ Stone Chism is backstage with the Skanky Rich Bimbos (Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan) and not in a good mood. He wants to know how the PCW TV Champion SNAFU can be ranked ahead of him in the WWR Men’s rankings? Chism: “It’s simply inconceivable that someone holding a lesser crown can be ranked ahead of me.” Paris Hilton: “That’s right, honey. We’re hot. He’s not.” Chism: “It’s time to knock Mr. SNAFU down a peg.” Chism heads for the door. Paris: “Where are you going?” Chism: “To have a chat with Nancy Pelosi. She’ll fix this for me.”

MATCH #4 New Moon Hottie Challenge Match
Amariie Scouse (Team Jacob)
vs.
Megann Mironey (Team Edward)
The two lock up, Amariie takes Megann down early and gets a pinfall. After the two count, she gives Megann an uppercut and a low kick. Amariie delivers some more punches and whips Megann towards the ropes. Megann responds with an elbow and tries to send Amariie out with her feet. It’s unsuccessful. Amariie responds by throwing a punch but Megann avoids it. Megann tries a low strike but Amariie hits a baseball slide that sends her out to the faces. Amariie leaves the ring to fetch Megann. After sending Megann back into the ring, Amariie gets back on offense. A couple of kicks to the head is followed up with another uppercut. Michelle Amariie twists the arm of Megann and tries to whip Megann to the corner. The challenger counters it and elbows Amariie. Megann lands some kicks and punches and gives Amariie a one-person flapjack. She pins Amariie but only gets a two count.

Suddenly, someone creepy comes out.

Yes…the Burger King…King. He comes out and tries to reason with both girls. And then…

The extreme equalizer- Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!

Down deep the circle
Round and round down below
Down by condition
Running in circles

WTF runs down. The crowd pumps their first at the chorus.

Now get it up!
Arriba, ‘riba
Oh, oh, oh
Get it up

WTF goes up to the Burger King. Kick. Wham. Choke slam. The match is called…and thank God.

WINNER: No Contest in 3:01

BACKSTAGE
PCW Champion Stone Chism is in Nancy Pelosi’s office to discuss why he is ranked below PCW Television Champion SNAFU in the latest WWR ratings. Pelosi agrees that it’s an affront to the PCW Title and promises to rectify the situation.

————————–

UPCOMING PCW EVENTS:
12/2- PCW House Show
12/5- PCW Extreme Political TV on P-SPAN
12/9- PCW House Show
12/12- PCW/MVW Night of Champions
12/20- WWR ‘Christmas in the Caribbean’ Supershow in Puerto De Macoris
12/26- PCW Year End in Review

—————————

MAIN EVENT:
The Goatbusters (Ray Scantz and Peter Jenkman)
vs.
The Extreme Weather Network (Steve Abrams and Mike Bettis w/Jim Frascantore)

*Spooky music begins followed by a funky beat*

The Goatbusters appear and begin to dance down the aisle. Movie Classic accompanies them.

If there’s something grazing
In your neighborhood
Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
If you see a herd
And it don’t look good
Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)

I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I ain’t afraid of no Goat

If you’re seeing horns
Running through your yard
Who can you call
(Goatbusters)
If you have a goat
Sleeping in your bed
Oh, who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)

I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I ain’t afraid of no Goat

Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
If you’re all alone
Pick up the phone
And call
(Goatbusters)

I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I hear it likes the girls
I ain’t afraid of no Goat
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
If you’ve had a dose
Of a freaky Goat
Maybe you’d better call
(Goatbusters)

Let me tell you something
Bustin’ makes me feel good

I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I ain’t afraid of no Goat

Don’t get caught alone, oh no
(Goatbusters)
When it comes through your door
Unless you just want some more
I think you better call
(Goatbusters)
Ow

Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
Ah, I think you better call
(Goatbusters)…

The Goatbusters, Peter Jenkman and Ray Scantz climb into the ring. Suave: “The winner gets NCISF’d on Wednesday night’s PCW/MVW House Show…Show.”

Abrams and Jenkman start things out with a shoving contest and Jenkman grabs a headlock and then bulls over him with a shoulder block. We get a leapfrog sequence and Abrams hits a gut punch, leaps over Jenkman and hits a spinning wheel kick. Scantz tags in, jumps into the ring and taunts, but Abrams is having none of it and hits a kick to the gut. They do a leapfrog sequence to a stalemate until Scantz schools Abrams with a series of armdrags. Bettis tags in, fakes a Greco-Roman Knucklelock and hits a boot to the gut, and follows with a stiff chop and a back elbow. Jenkman tags back in and they trade shoves, shoulder blocks and slaps. Kevin blows snot on Bettis and Bettis spits on Kevin. Jenkman wins a forearm exchange but Bettis hits a dropkick. He wins another strike war and whips Kevin to the corner and hits a corner clothesline, and then hits a snap mare before hitting a running boot for a two count. Abrams tags in and controls Kevin with corner thrusts but Jenkman counters a vertical suplex with his own. Jenkman grabs a front facelock and Scantz tags in. Scantz and Abrams trade strikes and Bettis is back in and so is Jim Frascantore. They hit a double football tackle on Scantz. Bettis covers for two.

Bettis hits a snap suplex for two and Scantz backs up and tags Jenkman in. Kevin telegraphs a back body drop and gets kicked, but he rolls under a clothesline and DDTs Bettis for two. Abrams tried to break up the cover and gets a snot rocket in his direction. He tells Scantz to put the boot up and slams Bettis’s face on the boot. Scantz is in and he gets two off a scoop slam. Jenkmanerico work in the drop toehold/somersault legdrop combo, Scantz takes out Abrams and Jenkman covers for two. Scantz tags back in and stays on top of things with strikes. He whips Bettis into the corner but runs into a back elbow, and Bettis hits the reverse STO into the middle turnbuckle. Bettis makes the tag and Abrams busts out some Redneck Fu and an Alabama Slam. Jenkman comes in and Abrams hits the leg lariat to the back of the neck. He runs into a boot and Scantz tosses him to the apron. Scantz dives onto Bettis and Abrams dives onto Jenkman!

Scantz and Abrams go back into the ring and stare each other down. Abrams wins a forearm battle but runs into Scantz’s modified Michinoku Driver. Scantz gets two and goes for the corner Yakuza Kick, but runs into a superkick. Both men make tags and Bettis and Jenkman trade forearms and elbows. LOTS of forearms and elbows. Bettis wins with punches and stomps a mudhole. He does the facewash but Scantz hits the Yakuza Kick when he goes to the other corner! SIDE EXPLODER BY ABRAMS! POWERBOMB BY JENKMAN! All four men are down! Jenkman and Bettis are up and trade punches, but Jenkman hits the Codebreaker! He heads up top, but the Swanton Bomb eats knees! Jenkman tags out but Scantz runs into a forearm. Scantz tosses Bettis to the apron but Abrams hits a clothesline and a cutter, Bettis lifts up Jenkman, DEATH VALLEY DRIVER ON THE APRON!

Jim Frascantore pick up Scantz and hit the crucifix bomb/neckbreaker combination. Bettis covers but Scantz kicks out at two! They set up for the Emergency Broadcast Suplex, but Jenkman grabs Abrams, VICTORY ROLL BY SCANTZ! ONE…TWO…THR-NO! Scantz grabs Bettis, and hits an Exploder into the buckles! Jenkman is in, CANNONBALL! Scantz is up top, SOMERSAULT COAST TO COAST DROPKICK BY SCANTZ! Cover…1…2…3!

WINNER: The Goatbusters in 15:27

———————————-

Martha Stewart's Opinion of The Former Governor of Alaska

wok3 — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 05:06:17 +0000

Funny-

But hey, even Joe the Plumber doesn’t want whats-her-name running for President in 2012.

Not that he is the best person to ask, of course.

Tonight on PCW Extreme Political TV

Political Championship Wrestling — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 19:35:43 +0000

It’s the final show before Thanksgiving and what PCW pre-holiday episode would be complete without an appearance by the Green World Order.

The American Patriots will send up a PCW original tag team in ‘The Raving Rednecks’ Locke and Loade to face off against the Bipartisan Dream Team Blue Dog D and RINO.

American Trucker (American Heartland Coalition), coming off a big win last week, faces Newt Tron Bomb (American Patriots) this week.

Another rebroadcast of Bill Clinton’s Hot Tub with special guest Sarah Palin because who can get enough of Bill Clinton and Sarah Palin in a hot tub?

And finally, the Main Event will feature the Goatbusters taking on the weather daredevils The Extreme Weather Network.

All this and more tonight on PCW Extreme Political TV.

Obama's Plan to Spread the Wealth -- TO THE WEALTHY!

kegarrett — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 16:47:24 +0000

According to Edmunds.com, 690,000 Americans took advantage of the Cash for Clunkers Program. Under this Obama brainfart, it cost the taxpayers $24,000 for EACH one of those cars. Remember the head-slap “I coulda had a V-8!” ? Well you, too, could have had at least a V-6 — along with all the other folks who got their new cars if you’d been given your OWN money to spend!

So, my point here is that SOMEONE took some of your wealth and gave it to someone else! AHHH— that would be Obama’s promise to Joe the Plumber when he said he thought that spreading the wealth around would be good for everyone. Well, was it good for you? Seriously, who got that $24,000? It wasn’t the car dealers. Some of them are still awaiting their money from the government to cover the rebates given to those who purchased the cars… So, WHO got that money?

We’re all, by now, familiar with the fact that the reported “jobs saved or created” numbers that have been posted on the recovery.com site are absolutely false. I’d like someone to PROVE that any job was actually saved due to the economic strategies of the Obama Administration. They like to use the nice round number of one million jobs, even though it’s much, much less than that. But we’ll go with data the Obama administration has posted, just for the sake of this argument.

The Administration says that they’ve created and/or saved one million jobs and they spent $160 billion doing it. That means that government had spent paid $160,000 on each job. Hmmm. Will someone please introduce me to the person who got a job created by the stimulus with a starting salary of $160,000? The Obama Administration likes to say that some of the jobs saved are “the waitress who’s still on the job,” – as Joe Biden himself used this example. (I’d like to meet the waitress who makes that kind of money!)

In fact, Jared Bernstein, chief economist and senior economic advisor to Vice President Joe Biden says that the cost per job was more like $92,000. So, even if the “shovelers” on the shovel-ready jobs, and the waitresses, and teachers, or whoever, got $92,000 on average, and didn’t actually get their fair share of that $160,000 average – WHO did?

Are you beginning to get the picture? The Obama Administration has borrowed billions upon billions of dollars in only 11 months in office. And only a small portion of that money has trickled down to the people who are hurting and need to work. Millions, if not billions have been documented as wasted – mostly in million-dollar chunks that include rebates to the long-dead, rebates to prisoners, yada, yada…..

I CAN tell you where jobs were actually created. There are 30-some-odd czars and they have sizeable staffs. There are innumerable advisors and expanded staff roaming the White House halls on any given day. All the czars make at least high six-figure incomes. Their operating budgets/expenses have not been made public. But just their combined salaries run in the millions of dollars. Government is the sector where the greatest amount of job creation has taken place.

Where is the rest of it going, though? Is it going to some middleman? To some corporation (cash for clunkers) perhaps? To local governments (shovel-ready projects) perhaps? To banks (bailouts) perhaps? To financial insurers (AIG) perhaps?

Out of the “dollars” Obama is getting from China, he’s sending “pennies” down to the the people. And the wealth of our nation is being re-distributed to the wealthy GROUPS . The “have nots” NEVER have gotten theirs… just look at all cultures and civilizations throughout history. So, if you’re looking for your share of Obama money! Don’t hold your breath!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19v5Kjmc8FI

Joe the Plumber, and A Look At Our Government

thestarforum — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 19:35:37 +0000

Two bald plumbers and me by Jacqueline Smith I went to an event for Cherilyn Eagar last night. She

PCW/MVW House Show...Show

Political Championship Wrestling — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 12:00:50 +0000

MVW MATCH #1 from MVW House Show in Tulsa, OK
‘Sweet Southern Comfort’ Jackie Daniels vs. Katie Collins
Collins sidesteps a Daniels charge which sends her to the floor, but she’s right back inside and they go face to face with Daniels getting a headbutt. Collins comes back with a pair of chops, and then a rollup for two. Daniels bails to the outside again, and then comes back in to get rolled up for two. Daniels hits the ropes, and stops short on a Collins leapfrog attempt to deliver a clothesline. Daniels stomps Collins, and then chokes her out on the bottom rope. Daniels connects with a pair of back elbows, but misses a charge running face first into the top buckle. Collins comes fighting back, and heads to the top rope. Daniels catches her and knocks her all the way to the floor as we head to break. Back from commercial with Daniels in control using a reverse chinlock on Collins. Daniels goes for a back suplex, but Collins reverses coming down on top of Daniels for two. Daniels is right back with a clothesline, and mounts Collins with a series of punches. Daniels drops a leg on Collins for a two count, but as she comes off the ropes Collins hits Trouble in Paradise out of nowhere. Daniels rolls to the floor off of it, and Collins has to drag her back inside. That delay allows Daniels to kick out at two. Daniels grabs a small package for a two count, but Collins is right back with a clothesline. Collins hits the boom drop, but Daniels is able to reach the ropes again at two. Daniels rolls to the floor, and then is able to drop Collins’s throat across the second rope. Collins hits a backslide for a two count once they end up back inside, and they then trade right hands inside. Collins delivers a flying forearm, and a spinning heel kick. Collins goes for a crossbody off the top, but Daniels rolls through for two. Collins is back hitting the SOS for a two count, and then misses an attempt to hop on the top rope causing her to crash to the mat. That allows Daniels to hit the Daniels Splash, and that gives her the win at 10:42.

WINNER: Jackie Daniels at 10:42

MATCH #2 from PCW House Show in Richmond, IN
Ray Scantz of the Goatbusters vs. PCW’s Latest Rookie Sensation Bird ‘The Mark’ Ridfych

*Spooky music begins followed by a funky beat*

If there’s something grazing
In your neighborhood
Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
If you see a herd
And it don’t look good
Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)

I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I ain’t afraid of no Goat

If you’re seeing horns
Running through your yard
Who can you call
(Goatbusters)
If you have a goat
Sleeping in your bed
Oh, who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)

I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I ain’t afraid of no Goat

Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
If you’re all alone
Pick up the phone
And call
(Goatbusters)

I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I hear it likes the girls
I ain’t afraid of no Goat
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
If you’ve had a dose
Of a freaky Goat
Maybe you’d better call
(Goatbusters)

Let me tell you something
Bustin’ makes me feel good

I ain’t afraid of no Goat
I ain’t afraid of no Goat

Don’t get caught alone, oh no
(Goatbusters)
When it comes through your door
Unless you just want some more
I think you better call
(Goatbusters)
Ow

Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
Who you gonna call
(Goatbusters)
Ah, I think you better call
(Goatbusters)…

Goatbuster Ray Scantz climbs into the ring to face PCW’s Latest Rookie Sensation.

The bell rings and they lockup, with Ridfych getting a go behind. Scantz makes it to the ropes and they lock up again. Ridfych with an arm wrench, but Scantz reverses and kicks the leg out of Ridfych. Ridfych up and he reverses into a clothesline. Ridfych with a hammerlock, but Scantz slips out and runs off the ropes, holding on to avoid a dropkick. Scantz hits a knee to the gut, but runs into an elbow in the corner, Ridfych goes to the second rope and hits a spinning back elbow for two. Ridfych goes for the springboard sunset flip, but Scantz rolls through and stomps away on Ridfych. Ridfych gets his neck snapped on the bottom rope and that looked painful. Scantz dumps Ridfych to the floor as go to commercial at 2:40.

Dream Wrestling Federation

DARK MATCHES
Remy Leroux vs. Jay Price
Charlie Blackwell vs. Max Douglas
Zero vs. Daymare

SLAUGHTER TELEVISION TAPING
Casey Pierro-Zabatol vs. Force
Bishop Steele vs. Upton Osgood
Cancer Jiles vs. Billy Wilson w/Bob Wilson
Adrien Cochrane vs. Travis Williams

Doozer vs. Marshall
DWF World Championship

Lupin Cy vs. 501
DREAM Championship Match

Dunkin’ Donuts Center – Providence, RI
November 23, 2009 12:00 AM

The referee for this match is Mystery Ref, and the rules are Street Fight Match.

Holmes v Erites Kallisten
The referee for this match is Romeo Ward, and the rules are Standard Match.

Golden Phoenix v Black Mamba
The referee for this match is Frank Tsonga, and the rules are Standard Match.

Doozer v Jason Midnight
The referee for this match is Romeo Ward, and the rules are Standard Match.

Graystone v Tim Shipley
The referee for this match is Frank Tsonga, and the rules are Standard Match.

Back at 6:50 and Ridfych escapes a submission hold and both men trade blows. Scantz gets a cheap shot in and hits the leg lariat from behind for a two count. Scantz chokes Ridfych on the middle rope and hits a back elbow for another two count. Scantz connects with a neckbreaker and gets another near fall. Scantz goes to the grounded chinlock and Ridfych again to his feet. He punches out… Crowd: “FASTBALL…FASTBALL…FASTBALL…” and slips out of a back suplex, hitting a version on an inverted DDT for a two count. Scantz boots Ridfych in the chest, but runs into the spinning heel kick. Ridfych hits a series of clotheslines and Scantz go to the ropes, so Ridfych stands on his back. Ridfych hits a body press off the top rope for a two count. Scantz gets a quick shot on Ridfych and throws him to the corner. Ridfych avoids the charge and flip kicks Scantz in the head. Ridfych connects with the Tornado DDT for a near fall. Scantz slips out of the Killswitch and Scantz hits a Tiger Bomb!!! Scantz only gets two and can’t believe it. Ridfych gets to the apron and Scantz tries a suplex, but Ridfych back body drops him to the floor. Ridfych dives to the floor on top of Scantz. Ridfych again with the punches. Crowd: “FASTBALL…FASTBALL…FASTBALL…SLIDER!” Scantz down. Ridfych covers and gets the pin.

WINNER: BIRD ‘THE MARK’ RIDFYCH at 9:33

MATCH #3 from MVW’s House Show in Joplin, MO
‘Demolition Machine in a Short Skirt’ Dawn McGill vs. ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas
The bell rings and Dallas’s boot wasn’t tied enough. Dallas gets attacked by McGill as she finishes and McGill clubs away with forearms. McGill gets an arm wrench and takes down Dallas by the arm. Dallas gets to the ropes and against needs to fix her boots. They lockup and Dallas blocks a suplex before getting the headlock. McGill whips her and both women go down from a shoulder block. Dallas gets a European uppercut and has her Russian legsweep blocked, sort of. McGill sends Dallas to the floor and hits a diving dropkick to the floor as we go to commercial at 3:30.

Every Thursday Night from our friends at High Octane Wrestling

The Best Arena, Chicago IL
November 19, 2009 12:00 AM

Bobbinette “Queen B” Carey v Chris Kostoff
The referee for this match is Rick “Even” Stevens, and the rules are HOFC Bout.

Justin Decent v Rush Marconi
The referee for this match is Joel Hortega, and the rules are Standard Match.

“The Headhunter” Michael DeNucci© v DavoteK
The referee for this match is Rick “Even” Stevens, and the rules are HOFC Bout.

Jatt Starr v Ethan Cavanaugh
The referee for this match is Matt Boettcher, and the rules are Standard Match.

And while you’re there (cheap plug…cheap plug…) check out this book as well. Loose Cannons

There are some books you curl up with on a warm couch to read.

This isn’t one of them.

However, DeWayne Cantrell isn’t like most people.

And will American politics ever be the same?

———–

And just as an FYI, several current PCW characters are in Loose Cannons.

Back at 6:30 as McGill hits the rolling snapmare and kick to the chest. Dallas catches McGill off a body lock and she dumps McGill to the floor. McGill slammed onto the announcer’s table and rolled in. Dallas applies a grounded headlock. McGill fights out and slips after a kick, allowing Dallas to hit a forearm smash. Dallas goes back to the headlock and floats over into a front chancery, but McGill gets up. Dallas with a Butterfly Suplex for a two count. Dallas with a series of knees to the gut, but McGill catches a kick and hits a dragon screw. McGill hits a series of kicks and connects with the Roaring Elbow for a two count. McGill heads up top and misses with a flying spinning heel kick. Dallas measures for the knee trembler, but McGill connects with a roundhouse kick to the head out of nowhere! McGill then drags Dallas up to the top turnbuckle and hits her new finisher, Blunt Force Trauma. Dallas is out. McGill gets the cover and three count for the pin at 10:40.

WINNER: DAWN McGILL at 10:40

MATCH #4 from PCW’s House Show in West Lafayette, IN
A. Tom Bomb (American Patriots) vs. ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (American Heartland Coalition)
They lock up and we get a clean break in the corner. Scott goes behind A-Bomb, who pulls a standing switch. Scott gets one of his own and takes A-Bomb down, so A-Bomb rolls to the ropes. A-Bomb tries a takedown but Scott stuffs it and gets a headlock takedown. A-Bomb pushes him off the headlock and hits the STELLAR dropkick. Scott goes to the floor to recover. Back to the action and Scott gets the boot to the gut followed by some Europeans, but drops his head and gets booted. Knee drop by A-Bomb gets a quick 2 count. Scott goes to the floor again. Back in and they lock up in the kunckle lock, controlled by Scott. A-Bomb starts to gain control but Scott gets a boot to the gut and tries to throw A-Bomb to the floor. A-Bomb hangs on and springboards over the ropes and connects with a HUGE clothesline. AGAIN Scott goes to the floor, A-Bomb goes for the aerial attack but catches himself on the apron as Scott moves. He tries to springboard in again but Scott clips the leg and A-Bomb flops over the rope then falls to the floor. Scott knocks him off the apron as he tries to come back in, then HITS A SOMERSAULT SENTON to the outside!!! Scott rolls A-Bomb back inside and gets a 2 count. Backbreaker by Scott gets 2. He locks in a rear chinlock with the knee posted to the back of A-Bomb. A-Bomb fights out of the hold but gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Suplex by Scott gets 2. Scott now locks in a bear hug from behind as we hit the halfway mark. A-Bomb backs Scott to the corner to break the hold then connects with a solid right. Whip by A-Bomb is reversed but Scott charges into a boot. Another whip is reversed and Scott ctaches A-Bomb, locks him in and hits the overhead belly to belly. Body scissors applied now by Scott. A-Bomb has his arm inside the scissors so Scott switches it up to a chinlock. A-Bomb manages to break the hold and connects with an elbow, A-Bomb goes to the ropes but runs right into a rear choke. A-Bomb turns into it and connects with a back suplex. Clotheslines by A-Bomb, and the springboard flying forearm gets 2! Hily crap he got some height on that. Atomic Power Bomb is blocked and Scott catapults A-Bomb into the ring post then hits a release German for 2. American Slam is countered, PELE! 1…2…2.8697! A-Bomb goes up top but Scott is up and runs up to meet him…T-BONE SUPLEX FROM THE TOP! 1…2…2.8496! Scott tries the American Slam again, countered into an arm drag! ROARING LARIAT! By A-Bomb! 1…2…no! 3 minutes left. A-Bomb again goes for the Atomic Power Bomb, Scott backdrops him but A-Bomb hangs on for a sunset flip! Scott rolls through…Cattle Mutilation! A-Bomb counters to a small package! 1…2…no! GERMAN! He holds on and Scott hits another! And a third! 1…2…no! Down come the straps and A-Bomb rolls through again! ATOMIC POWER BOMB!!! 1…2…2.9633! I make that 20 minutes. A-Bomb is pissed, he goes up top now but jumps right into a big boot! AMERICAN SLAM! 1…2…2.9633!!! Now Scott is frustrated, here comes the moonsault…misses! What a shock. A-Bomb goes for the springboard 450…connects!!!! 1….2…2.9889!!! Yes West Lafayette, this is awesome. A-Bomb perches Scott on the top and tries a superplex, Scott fights it off but A-Bomb crotches him and takes him up for the Atomic Power Bomb! Scott kicks out of it and now he’s in position for an American Slam! A-Bomb counters again! Scott picks the ankle and rolls through to the Cattle Mutilation! A-Bomb taps.

WINNER: ‘American Citizen’ KEVIN SCOTT at 21:09

MATCH #5 from MVW’s House Show from Tulsa, OK
Caroline Kelly vs. Jill-Berg
THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The video screen goes to just outside a dressing room in the back. A police escort is waiting at the door. One of the policemen knocks on the door.

Policeman: “Ms. Berg. It’s time.”

The door opens and four large male bodybuilding types walk out of the dressing room surrounding a petite woman and her male assistant in the middle. The woman is busy talking on her cell phone while the man furiously scribbles down notes as the group makes their way towards the ring.

THUMP

THUMP-THUMP-THUMP

The procession emerges from the back and starts their way down the ramp.

Her assistant has a microphone and a portable tape recorder. He flips it on.

“JILLLLL-BERG…JILLLLL-BERG…”

The group then continues towards the ring leaving the police escort behind.

“JILLLLL-BERG…JILLLLL-BERG…”

The bodyguards assist Ms. Berg into the ring. She, her assistant, and two bodyguards immediately go to a corner.

“JILLLLL-BERG…JILLLLL-BERG…”

Berg continues to talk on her cell phone.

“JILLLLL-BERG…JILLLLL-BERG…”

The crowd rises to their feet when two of the bodyguards race across the ring and attack Kelly. Double clothesline decks Kelly. Jill-Berg nods and hands her phone to Jerry, her assistant. Handspring into a spinning heel kick snaps Kelly’s head to the right. She’s out on her feet. SPEAR! Jill-Berg lifts Kelly up…JACKHAMMER! COVER! ONE…TWO…THREE!

WINNER: JILL BERG in :34

Bill Clinton's Hot Tub w/Guest Sarah Palin

Political Championship Wrestling — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 02:46:52 +0000

(Replay from 10/7-PCW EXTREME POLITICAL TV- PART 2)

BILL CLINTON’S HOT TUB
Slick Announcer Guy: “And now, it’s time for our new feature on PCW Extreme Political TV, Bill Clinton’s Hot Tub. And here’s your host, Bill Clinton.” Clinton, inside a steaming hot tub, waves to the audience. Clinton: “Good evening. Tonight on our new show, Bill Clinton’s Hot Tub, we are damn lucky to have one of the most polarizing figures in American politics today. And even better, she’s hot looking! Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin!” The camera pans over to Palin who seems a little uncomfortable with the whole arrangement. Her clothes are stacked up by the side of the hot tub and she tries to keep as low as possible inside the hot tub. Clinton: “Governor Palin, I am profoundly appreciative that you came on my show tonight.” Palin: “Um…thank you, President Clinton. But, was it really necessary for both of us to take all of our clothes off?” Clinton: “Well, it all depends on what your definition of ‘clothes’ is. Is it a metaphoric reference to cover up what we really feel inside or is it more of an issue of not wanting to totally put yourself out there?” Palin: “Riiiight. You betcha. Can we get to my book?” Clinton reaches over and grabs a copy of Palin’s new book, Going Rogue. Clinton: “From her humble beginnings to her time in the spotlight as the first female Republican Vice Presidential candidate, Sarah Palin has led an extraordinary life. Going Rogue will recount her political experiences, her time as Mayor of Wasilla and as the first female governor of Alaska, as well as her rapid rise on the national stage during the 2008 campaign. Additionally, she’ll share insights into the personal challenges she’s faced including balancing her time as a working mother, recognizing the war’s impact with her son serving combat in Iraq, having a child with a disability and supporting her teenage daughter through an unplanned pregnancy.” Palin: “I just wanted to tell my side of the story and share the experiences that I’ve gone through over the past year of so.” Clinton: “Very intriguing. Going Rogue. I think I’d like your book better if you called it Going Commando. BWHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHA” Palin: “Mr. President, that’s not the least bit funny.” Clinton: “BWHAHAHAHAHAHA…haha… hahaha….ha ha……ha…………..ha…oh, all right. You-a…you became a lightning rod for any number of groups. Some thought you were refreshing. Others didn’t think you were ready for prime time. You believe this book tells us all about the real Sarah Palin? Palin: “Yes I do. It’s about growing up in Alaska, meeting Todd, running for office, addresses my beliefs in faith and family, um, the book is about who I am.” Clinton: “All right, before we go, I have to ask you a favor.” Palin: “Um…what?” Clinton: “Can you do that whole put your hands in the air thing you did on Saturday Night Live?” Palin: “Not right at this moment.” Clinton: “Shucks. Okay, that’s it for Bill Clinton’s Hot Tub. Tune in next week when-” Hillary’s Voice: “WILLIAM JEFFERSON CLINTON!” Clinton: “Oh ****. Hillary doesn’t know I have company. Can you kind of go under the water for a few seconds and…” Palin: “I don’t think so.” Hillary enters, none too happy. Clinton: “Hi honey, how you do-” *CLANG* Hillary connects with a frying pan to the mush.

PCW Host Johnny Suave: “And we’re back. That was intellectually stimulating…okay…it was stimulating, but we won’t get into details…

—————————————–

The Alaska Pitbull’s new book is called ‘Going Rogue.’ Click here to go to Amazon’s web site to look.

And while you’re there (cheap plug…cheap plug…) check out this book as well. Loose Cannons

There are some books you curl up with on a warm couch to read.

This isn’t one of them.

However, DeWayne Cantrell isn’t like most people.

And will American politics ever be the same?

———–

And just as an FYI, several current PCW characters are in Loose Cannons.

W o rdPress.com Political Blogger Alliance

Dawn McGill on Fox News

Political Championship Wrestling — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 02:37:28 +0000

(Interview between Fox’s Glenn Beck, the Daily Kos’s Markos Moutilsas, and Teresa Quanranta

“Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m a very very humble man. A simple clown really, but I want what’s best for my country because… because I love it so much, and every day they’re trying, bit by bit to take it away. Everyday, in ways both great and small. Sometimes it’s the federal government trying to make sure people don’t go bankrupt when they contract a life threatening illnes, and sometimes it’s a story like this. I promised you that I would be ever vigilant about all the threats to the American way of life, and I’m working to uphold that promise with a calm, reasoned discussion of…” FOX host Glenn Beck sniffled a bit. “… of the recent steroids scandal that’s all over the media. Joining me today is Teresa Quaranta, representing New Frontier Wrestling. Teresa, I have to say that I’m concerned about this. I… I don’t think our fathers… our brave founding fathers… would have ever imagined anything like what we saw from a man claiming to stand for Justice in this country.”

“Are you OK, man?”

“Teresa, you sounds like you’ve got bull testicles in the back of your neck! Shut up!”

“.”

“Also here is Markos Moulitsas-Zuniga, foreign liberal blogging communist, basically the scum of the earth and the sworn enemy of God, freedom, and western civilization as a whole. Say hello, Mr. Moulitsas-Zuniga.”

“Always happy to be here, Glenn.”

“Teresa: justify this.”

“Uhm… they were chewable Flinstones Vitamins? I don’t think there’s anything crazy in ‘em, except for the purple ones, one time I was at a party and ate nothing but the purple ones and when I woke up I was in St. Paul Minnesota hanging upside down from a flagpole wearing nothing but a -”

“YOU’RE A BARBARIAN,” Markos couldn’t take anymore, apparently.

“Because I… psychologically slash physically damage people for money?”

“Well, there is that, but mostly it’s because you help sell Big Dairy’s slime to the uninformed masses. Aren’t you ashamed to induce people to slurp down caffineated crap down their gullets? Cows were tortured for that milk. Are you so weak, that you just can’t live without the fruits of the suffering of others? Meat, cheese, eggs, milk, dairy, fish, poultry, and let’s not get started on the use of animal byproducts! Bone jewelry? Leather bags. I hate the way you live! Look at me, Teresa. Take a look. I’m living proof that you can be strong, healthy, and a winner, through an animal-free diet. I’m the only decent human being in this studio, because I’m the only true vegan here tonight!”

Beck and Quaranta both sat there in silence for a moment, and finally Beck scratched his head.

“Look, this is another example of government interference destroying the free market. If we knocked down those regulations and gave Captain Justice some TAX CUTZ for those roids, he would have bought more of them. He would have gotten bigger and stronger. He would have sold more tickets to NFW shows all across the country and he would have stopped more crime! There’s nothing I love than bodyslamming poor people who try and forcibly take things from people who have money. Captain Justice is like a superpowered guardian of the economic status quo, so why do you, a noted Canadian -”

“Uh, Glenn I don’t think my home country is -”

“NOTED CANADIAN, why do you hate the free market? It says FREE right there in the title.”

“I just think that if he was using steroids, it would reduce his longevity and make him a less happy person. That would probably make justice less just for everyone.”

“Well, I think justice should be strong, should be angry, and should beat the hell out of foreigners, minorities, homosexuals, and women, and you’re all four in one overgrown package, in fact, so’s Zuniga.”

“.”

“The idea that he should have to call a press conference and apologize to the public, when his only crime is working to be the very best, fills me with a deep sense of sorrow. Cap, if you’re watching this, don’t bow down to the media elite! You represent America, and America NEVER apologizes! Now get out there, stomp the stuffing out of Varga and this lesbian -”

“!!”

“- and grab your spot atop the tag team mountain, looking down from your mighty perch downwards at both of the teams you beat along the way!”

“Captain Justice is a witless tool of the capitalist system, and Teresa Quaranta isn’t much better. You’re all the worst. I’m gonna blog about you two SO HARD when we’re off air.”

“Every day that passes that doesn’t see CAPTAIN JUSTICE as winner of the Bunkhouse Stampede, is like a little flame licking at the feet of liberty. And everytime Teresa Quaranta gives an exhaustive explanation for why the person she’s fighting is mentally retarded, it’s like pouring gasoline on that flame.”

Beck took a keg of gas. “IS THAT WHAT YOU PEOPLE WANT? LIBERTY TO DIE IN A HOT GAS FIRE? Because China WILL collect the insurance money!”

“Glenn, please don’t-”
“GET OFF MY PHOOOOONE -” “Burn, facist, burn!”

There’s a huge commotion off set.

*TWHACK*

“AAAAAARGHHHH!”

*THWACK*

“AAAAAARGHHHH!”

“WATCH OUT! IT’S A ROIDED UP WRESTLER GOING BERSERK!”

Markos: “Oh my God. Captain Justice is here.”

A security guard falls backwards through the door and lands on teh floor. Markos runs back and forth on the set like a headless chicken. But…it’s not Captain Justice who comes through the door. It’s the ‘Six Foot Demolition Machine in a Short Skirt’ Dawn McGill. Another security guard tries to get in her way. She swings her leg back and brings it up with great force, her 4″ stilettos connecting squarely on the guard’s scrotum. In an instant, his face turns pale white. The guard tips over and lies on the floor gasping for breath.

Guard: “Mommy.”

Markos: “You’re not Captain Justice! You’re…you’re…”

Beck: “I know who this is. She’s from that…that…political wrestling federation.”

Markos: “PCW? Political Championship Wrestling?”

Beck: “Yeah. They make fun of people like you and me, Markos. They make fun of ideological warriors standing up for what they believe……and making tons of money along the way.”

Markos: “Why that’s…Unamerican!”

Beck: “Indeed. (to McGill) Why don’t you go back to your roided up geeky friends at PCW and *choke* hey…urk…uh…”

McGill smiles and walks Beck over to the news set. Markos runs in behind her and jumps on her back. He starts pounding on the back of her neck.

Markos: “Let him go! Let him go!”

Dawn makes a slight movement back and then jerks forward. Markos loses his grip and starts to slide down. Dawn bends her left leg at the knee and catches Markos in the groin with her 4″ stiletto. He immediately covers himself and his jaw is gaping wide open as the pain shot through his body.

McGill lifts Beck up and power bombs him through the news desk. The set literally explodes upon impact with Beck in the middle of the wreckage.

McGill turns to Markos who’s now lying on the floor writhing in excruciating discomfort. Then she looks right into the camera.

Dawn: “Oh…and for the record…these…(she points to her muscles)…are real. And for that matter, so are these…(she points to her breasts). Just thought I’d point that out. Fox News will be back in a few…”

Tomorrow Night on Best of House Show...Show

Political Championship Wrestling — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 16:57:32 +0000

MVW Match
‘Sweet Southern Comfort’ Jackie Daniels
vs.
3 Time Former PCW Women’s Champion Katie Collins

PCW Match
Ray Scantz of the Goatbusters
vs.
PCW’s Latest Rookie Sensation Bird ‘The Mark’ Ridfych

MVW Match
‘Demolition Machine in a Short Skirt’ Dawn McGill
vs.
‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas

PCW Match
A. Tom Bomb (American Patriots)
vs.
‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (American Heartland Coalition)

MAIN EVENT: MVW Match
Caroline Kelly
vs.
Jill-Berg

The 'rogue' gets ready to rumble

Ryan Starr — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 21:40:50 +0000

Look out 2012, here comes Sarah Palin

SHE’S BA-ACK – and with a vengeance. Sarah Palin’s new memoir, ‘Going Rogue: An American Life‘, hits stores Tuesday. (Should have been called ‘Mavericky: How I Thought the Election Was All About Me and Helped Kill Whatever Chance John McCain Had of Winning It’).

The Baracuda has returned. She never really left, of course. Since failing in her bid with McCain for the White House, and resigning as governor of Alaska in the summer, Palin has served as a vocal conservative counterpoint to the American left, staying in the thick of things by sharing her views – mainly through her Facebook page – on the issues of the day. (She helped perpetuate that whole death panel thing, for example.)

Dobbs for president? He certainly looks the part.

With her book hitting stores this week, you’d have to think Palin is taking a first major step toward a 2012 presidential bid. It is not beyond the realm of possibility that Palin could get the nod from the Republicans for the nomination. After all, the party is currently bereft of any notable new contenders. (Though perhaps Lou Dobbs could be one now – he certainly looks presidential.)

UPDATE (Nov. 25): Lou Dobbs weighs Senate run, as a steppingstone

Palin, when she’s not raging against the “liberal media,” has a certain folksy charm and conservative views, all of which is appealing to them there down-home ‘real Americans.’ And it turns out she’s not as clueless as she seemed in her disastrous interviews with Katie Couric during last year’s election.

Why wouldn’t the Republicans go with Palin? President Obama is up against it these days, with two wars, a battered economy, health care reform and climate change. So far, though, he’s had few victories to speak of and has left many supporters wondering what happened.

Crazy though it may seem, is it possible disenchanted independent voters (those who decide elections) would give up on Obama and opt for Sarah Barracuda?

For now at least, there are few signs of that being a possibility. A recent Gallup survey found that 63 per cent of voters would not seriously consider Palin for the White House in 2012. And while she may be popular among Republicans, only 28 per cent of independents – those who make or break elections – think she is qualified to be president.

I can't see the difference, can you?

Still, politics and certainly elections are driven by personality, and Palin has plenty of chutzpah (I have to admit, though, I find it hard sometimes to decipher whether who I’m seeing on television is actually Sarah Palin or Tina Fey… more often than not it’s Fey.)

Plus, for what it’s worth, she’s apparently sexy enough to inspire a new porn series: “Who’s Nailin’ Paylin?” (with both “Obama” and “Joe the Plumber” making appearances as co-stars).

Let’s see Mike Huckabee or Mitt Romney beat that. On second thought, let’s not.

ryan@roadtostarrdom.com

Why women can’t let Sarah Palin go

Palin calls Newsweek cover ’sexist’ and ‘degrading‘