Out of love for the truth and the desire to bring it to light, the following propositions will be discussed at Wittenberg, under the oversight of the Reverend Father Martin Luther, Master of Arts and of Sacred Theology, & Lecturer on these subjects at Wittenberg.

Wherefore he requests that those who are unable to be present and debate orally with us, may do so by letter.

In the Name of Our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

On October 31, 1517, the Augustinian monk, Martin Luther, in the fear and boldness of our Father in Heaven marched up to the church doors in Wittenberg and nailed to it his Disputation on the Power and Efficacy of Induldgences, or as it is commonly known, the Ninety-Five Theses. It was not Luther’s intent to separate and pull away from the Catholic church, but rather to enter into dialog and propose reform of certain questionable practices. However, the response that ensued from this one fearful, obedient, God loving step, was what we now know today as the Protestant Reformation.

Let us, fellow saints, take time to remember the work of the Lord through one faithful and broken vessel that shook an entire world by which the Lord ensured the faithful entreatment of His Word!

Soli Deo Gloria!

I put this video together earlier this evening. Enjoy!

“For there is no truth in their mouth; their inmost self is destruction; their throat is an open grave; they flatter with their tongue…” ~Psalm 5:9

“You have put more joy in my heart than they have when their grain and wine abound.” ~Psalm 4:7

“I will give thanks to the LORD with my whole heart;
I will recount all of your wonderful deeds. I will be glad and
exult in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High.“
~Psalm 9:1-2

I can’t help but to stand staggered in awe of the LORD. The more I’ve learned, and the more I learn, about what I survived I can’t help but to realize that truly it was the mercy of our Father in Heaven that kept me safe. It was the Lord’s hand that guided me to safety; and truly He was my stronghold.

It was as if growing up we were surrounded by snakes and wolves on every front; left to our own to figure out how to fight. I was tested in dark places with no light to guide. I made many horrible mistakes along the way; and surely perhaps there were things that I could have done better. I did the best I thought I could, but when I emerged, by the grace and mercy of the Lord, I found myself being put to shame for the way the Lord had worked in my life.

Certainly I did not look like those around me. I didn’t match the mold that was presented me to conform to. In appearance, in behavior, in style and methodology, I was roughly hewn together. If those around me were as silk, I was sandpaper in need of much further work. But instead of help, I found callousness and a failed patience as I was simply cast aside.

Looking back, I understand why I would be difficult to love, but why -instead of despising- didn’t anyone put their arms around me and point me to Christ? Especially in light of the knowledge that I did not have a godly man in my home to show me the way. Was it just easier to tolerate? To growl about what I should be doing?

Do you not know, that unless you were willing to help and participate, that you cannot really comment upon my choices? Why was I less to you?

What I did see is that which the Lord was using to draw me to Himself was despised and discounted. (why?) But God is not mocked, and here I am today. Standing in Christ Jesus. Giving praise to Him. The journey has been painful, and it -in many places- still hurts, but I see the work of the Lord daily in my life.

I have grown.

I have grown in Faith. I understand, and I am understanding, what it means to surrender to Christ all things. I understand that I am not my own; I have been bought at a very steep price. The Old Man has no place here; daily he must be killed, and the New Man must be put on in Christ. There is no compromise. God is my Master and I submit, as His slave, all things. I wage war against the sin in my life; against the Old Man who seems not to realize that he is dead.

I have grown as a husband. I love my wife desperately. I once, like the example set before me, treated her so cruelly. I took her for granted. In my dealings with her I could be so vile. I could let the wretchedness in me show in frightful ways. It took her almost leaving for the LORD to break me. And since, the Lord has done amazing work in my life.

Sarah is my ministry. For her, I grow everyday into the husband I am called to be. I am learning to serve, to be gentle, and to be invested. I am learning that my choices can no longer be about me, for she is in my care, and I must consider her and my daughter first in all things.

I have grown as a father. Like my example, I wasn’t careful with my daughter. I had no patience. I barked like a dog in my anger (praise God that I didn’t lay a hand on her like my example had done to me!), and I was unconcerned with being involved in her life. BUT GOD SHATTERED ME! I am not that father anymore. And I thank God that I am nothing like the example I had.

Katy is a gift from the Lord. She is a reminder of His mercy and His love which I will never comprehend.  A gift, and a heritage. She is reminder and reason -like Sarah- that I must surrender all I am to the Lord that I might care for her rightly and point her to Christ.

I have grown as a person. There is much work to be done in my life. There is much to confront, but God has seen me safely through when all odds stood against me. Truly if the Lord is for me, who will stand against me? I find, everyday, the strength to give everything I am over to the Lord. Opening before Him every secret place that He might further form me into the likeness of His Son.

Where I had once been defined by scars, old wounds, anger, trivial hobbies, and other vain and worthless things, I am now becoming known for my faith, my love for Christ, my zeal for the Lord, my desire to serve Him, and my willingness to do what is right for the sake of His name. And if not for the grace of God, I would not be who I am today.

O, Lord, how I am staggered by Your love; amazed by Your grace!

Everything that happened, truly was will of the Lord. What may have been done for evil, the Lord did for good that I would know Him and see His glory and the works of His hands. What may have been done for evil, the Lord did for good, so that He would be proclaimed to everyone.

I am not to be pitied, even now as I struggle, even now as I hurt, for the Lord is doing great work in my life. He has saved me, and truly He saves. My Lord is not a theoretical savior; He is a complete Savior. And if my life says anything at all, I want it to say this:

God is good. He is merciful. He sent His only Son, Jesus Christ, to die for sinners; to be a ransom for many. Repent of your sin, turn from your wickedness, place your entire life and trust in Jesus Christ, and be Saved from the wrath of God that we all so rightly deserve.

Soli Deo Gloria!

“For though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers…“
~1 Corinthians 4:15

To my earthly father, I have been proclaimed dead. That to him we will meet and speak again only at the time of our passing into physical death. I have understood for years -before even my conversion- that my father was absent from the life of his family. I have been given no father-mentor to point me to Christ, to teach and exhort me to that which Christ has laid before me. I have no father-mentor to whom I can turn to for guidance in the ways of the Lord; to be a godly man, to be a godly husband, to be a godly father to my own child, and to be everything I am to be unto Christ.

The real reason I hate the wickedness of the church of my youth is because they allowed -and by turning a blind eye, encouraged- sin to remain a practice which ultimately destroyed a family. They were not unaware. They had been approached. They had seen the signs. Truly this is what I hold against them.

I heard the words of the Bible, but God was not there in those words. Just self-seeking, self-satisfying, God hating ways that have turned some to the devil -making some of those that parted ways twice the sons of Hell.

Over the recent years the Lord has blessed me abundantly with access to teachers and preachers who have helped me to see God; those that have taught me to seek Christ in all things. Those who have taught me that the Gospel must be preached…to myself…everyday.

I’ve been made an orphan for the Lord’s sake. I rejoice, even in the midst of the hurt, for all that He has done. I acknowledge that all else is nothing less than crap in comparison to knowing Christ. And truly, how sweet the sound of that amazing grace that saved even a wretch like me.

I grew up in cute, Godless, churchianity; both in home and in Calvary Chapel Hanford. I heard Bible words, but saw a lifestyle that was void of faith. Love. Love was an idol. It was a mushy, over saturated porridge set up on a pedestal that had to be earned. It was poured out as an act of self-glorification. It was conditional. It was obscured and fell short of the Word of God.

My father was absent. His absence was interrupted by violence. He drove his children to wrath by tearing us down daily; to remind us how lowly he thought of us. If he wasn’t screaming, belittling, hitting, threatening, or bullying he was absent from us. He had demanded authority, but took no responsibility. He was a child on a throne, throwing tantrums, avoiding responsibility, driving us away from him, and teaching us to love the world.

When I was a child I conformed to what I saw. I did all to the praise of myself -which is vanity- that which was right in their eyes. I despised what they told me to despise, I believed what they told me to believe, and I mocked as they taught me to mock. But even early on there was a stirring of rebelliousness.

It was God who instilled in my heart a rebelliousness and a stubbornness that taught me to ask questions and to challenge all that which was being fed to me. (Though my father would claim this glory as his own; he has given me nothing, and all that I have has been from, and by, the glory and grace of God alone.) I questioned everything I was being taught. I questioned not for the sake of questioning and challenging alone, but to sincerely know and learn truth. My questions were met with ridicule, dismissal, and frustration.

I would be ostracized, despised, and looked at as a pitiful case to be tolerated and shown kindness out of self satisfaction and pity.

The only willing mentor I ever had was a man who would later reveal that he was after selfish gain. Whom I confronted, and then exposed his abuse to Pastor Gene Pensiero only to be rejected. It took the injury of one to whom was shown partiality for this man, youth pastor Anthony Dominguez, to be seen for who he was.

I ran to things of the occult and of Satan for comfort. I did not want to be what I was being indoctrinated to be. And sin I practiced.

But…

Praise be that the sovereign Lord Jesus Christ seized me and called me His own! The Lord, who instilled in me a desire to know Truth and thus to know Him, drove me into His Word. Granted me a heart to rightly love others, and to point any I could to Him; even in the midst of my hurt!

Today

The Lord has since ripped me from these wicked people who are a law unto themselves. He has driven me far from the comforts of being able to return to old cracked basins to drink of brine and filth. And He has instilled in me a desire to seek His will, and His will alone.

In Him, and through Him, and by Him I have faced many personal demons. He has given to me men and women of God to teach me His Word. He has fired up in me the desire and longing to follow the path that He has placed before me -that I was once so afraid to approach. He has taken from me the desire to be approved by my earthly father and Pastor Gene Pensiero along with his ilk.

I’ve come a long way, and have much further to go.

Still

Still I can’t help but feel at a loss for not having a godly father-mentor to help me, to exhort me to follow in the ways of the Lord, and to seek Christ in order to live as Christ calls me to live. I can sympathize with Timothy whose father was -at the very least- spiritually absent from the life of his son. How Timothy must have felt a great joy in being called the spiritual son of Paul whose life was an example of Christ and obedience to Christ.

How I have labored in prayer that the Lord would grant me such spiritual father who will exhort me in the things of God. To whom I can ask, “how do I continue to show the Love of God to my wife even while we struggle?” or “how do I now as an earthly father communicate the things of God to my four year old daughter?“

But God is good. All the time the Lord is good. And the Lord is good all the time. And I will seek to be satisfied in Christ Jesus whether He grant my prayer or deny my request, I will be satisfied in Jesus Christ. Though I had once been taught to raise idols, esteem men, and follow every trend of the wind before God, no more and never again will I abide in such ways. Rather I seek to abide in Christ and to live in continual repentance and faith which our Father in Heaven has granted me.

All praise, and glory, and honor to the name of the Lord, always. Amen.

They have called me prodigal and lost lamb. But to be lost to them and found in Christ is the greatest thing that I could ever have. For I would rather not go to where their shepherd leads, but follow in the ways of the Good Shepherd whose voice I know.
~Michael W. Brewer Jr.

Author’s Note: See Calvary Chapel Follow Up for further progression.

The way I see it, I can spend waste time writing about what they did, or I can spend time writing about what Christ had done and is doing. I’ve taken too many years to look over the scars and tear open the wounds so I could better understand them.

Perhaps what I should be doing is devoting my entire life to seeing Christ. I’ve been forgiven much, and I ought to forgive in turn. Vengeance belongs to God.

The Lord is good. In feast or famine the Lord is always good.

Father in Heaven,

Amen.

Last month I shared that I was taking a step of faith and applying to Liberty University in hopes of getting into their Bachellor’s of Science: Religion degree program. I was accepted shortly after I sent in my application, but the way things were going I thought I was not going to be able to start classes until the end of this year.

Then I got a call. It was from Liberty and they wanted to help register me for classes. Another step of faith and I signed up for two classes: Bible 110 -Survey of the New Testament, and Theo 201 -Survey of Theology. I knew my tuition would be covered by the military, but I would have to purchase my own books.

I was able to look at the online bookstore where I would purchase my books and I was taken back by the $258.50 price tag. Now, I’m not new to college, and certainly this is rather reasonable considering other amounts I’ve paid for text books, but still I’m on a budget (and take care of a wife and child) and coming up with $258.50 before next week was going to be extremely difficult. I was concerned that I would have to drop one of the classes.

Calling to speak with a rep at Liberty to ask some questions about the financial check-in process (due dates, forms, etc.), the rep asked me if I had received a book stipened in my email. I told him that I had not and he put me on hold. Moments later he returned and stated that I would receive a book stipened to help me cover the cost of the books.

I expected maybe $50 since I was only signed up for two classes, and was certain that I would still need to drop one of the classes. This morning I checked my email, and sure enough there was the stipened…for $200! This means that I will only have to come up with $58.50 + shipping instead of a whole $258.50! That is much more manageable!

Praise the Lord; He is good all the time; in feast or famine He is good!

Certainly this was a blessing from the Lord, and I think -for me- a sign that I am walking where He is leading. Now I, of course, never advocate waiting for, or expecting, signs and wonders if God is leading you somewhere. If God tells you to go, then go! However, it never hurts to watch for them (measuring all things according to Scripture).

A struggle which I had wrestled with for years, was put low once and for all today. I stood in awe of the fire I saw burn: and I watched intently as every cruel word and every pointed finger faded away.

Liar! Prodigal! Fallen!

The accusations have become empty and void of any potency. Unable to hurt me anymore. And there was nothing done by my hand that brought this about. No exchange of words. No epic battle to be memorialized and remembered forever.

God’s Truth, and nothing else, set me free.

We were not crazy after all. We were not mistaken or delusional in our statements nor in our claims.

I was made to believe that I was such a hateful monster…I’m not. I’m a sinner saved by grace. I’m a child of God in Christ. I love as I ought to love, though certainly I could love more, and love better. Though it had been implied that I was lost, I am not. I am found in Christ. In this I rest.

I think I can finally put them away. I don’t need their approval like I thought I did. For if God is for me, who can stand against me?

My Lord, You are my God!

“For you equipped me with strength for the battle;
you made those who rise against me sink under me.”
~Psalm 18:39

“I grew up in the church. I grew up in the kind of church where you could walk in ignorant and leave just as stupid. ‘Cause there was no teaching going on…” ~Jim McClarty, The Irresistible God

I grew up in a church that followed after the teachings of a man who seeks to reconcile the Word of God in such a way that it agrees with his own understanding. AND I PRAISE GOD for His will to SAVE despite bad preaching and teaching.

Only a year ago I despised Calvinism. I despised the Doctrines of Grace. I despised Reformed Theology because I was taught so earnestly that God choosing to do what He chooses to do over our own wills made Him a monster. What I learned was not the whole counsel of God, but rather what THEY wanted me to know; which is that which fits their own understanding, and sits well with their own conscience. I was taught to put God in a box of flowers, rainbows, and good feelings. If my God didn’t fit in that damned box, then I didn’t know God like I should.

But praise God that He, that He, that He, put in me a resistant, arrogant, hardened heart. That He brought me to a place of contention with what I was being taught and with what I was being trained up in. I praise God for the abuses and wrongs I suffered because it shattered me, and it broke me, and it brought me low that I might hear His voice calling me.

And God saved me, not because I made the right decision and uttered the right prayer, but because it was HIS WILL to save me from His Wrath. He had mercy on me, and He had compassion on me from the beginning because He willed to do so.

Only a year ago I began on a long journey to study and learn about the Doctrines of Grace, and here I am held captive today because it is the very Word of God that teaches the Doctrines of Grace. I am angry with the things that happened in my early life, but I would not change anything for God ordained it, God willed it, and I am Saved by His Grace through Faith which He has given me.

I’ve heard their arguments for years! And I believed them -for the most part-, but then I looked at the Bible in context doing away with all the biases I was taught to have when I approached His Word. I, by God’s sovereign grace, was finally able to understand that it was not “I” that is the condition and final judge of God’s Word, BUT “I” was subject to God’s Word, and judged by it.

I was to measure all things, including myself, to God’s Word. This lead me to a place contrary to what I had been taught by my upbringing with all its sick influences. Sure outwardly it looks lovely, but so did the home and family of my youth. If one was to look behind the closed doors of my home, one would have found a storm of abuse. Likewise the deeper one delves into the “theology” of my upbringing one finds serious holes and heresies.

I was blessed that the LORD severed me from that place, so that I might see His light. There were, and are, such wonderful people in that place and elsewhere that have a heart and a passion for God. There are fine Saints within those doors, but the influence of a dissatisfied man hinders them not only in the Doctrines of Grace, but in other areas as well. It breaks my heart! And, God my God, do I mourn over them. I love them so.

O to grace how great a debtor daily I’m constrained to be. I am no better than any of them. In many ways I am much much worse. I have a bitterness in me. I understand my own depravity. Oh that I am forever in awe that our Father in heaven would save a wretch like me.

If only they would look and see. If only they would see the Word of God not as a cute exercise to be kept in the boundaries of our own ideals and understandings. That is what the cults do! GOD DOES NOT FIT IN A BOX! His Word, He says, is like a fire, and like a hammer that breaks the rock into pieces (Jeremiah 23:29).

The Challenge
And the whole point to which I write this, is that it is my hope and my challenge, that those of you who struggle with the idea of God as being completely sovereign, that you would watch completely through Jim McClarty’s The Irresistible God fully and completely. Then I hope what follows is that you might open God’s Word with the understanding that we don’t get to decide what we do or don’t like, but with the understanding that we are to do it, or disobey.

May the Lord hold your heart captive.

Blessings,

Michael W. Brewer Jr.

Other Great Resources:
Does God Predestine Some Men to Hell? (Double Predestination Explained Rightly)

I have been struggling a lot lately with a number of issues. The issues themselves aren’t so important now because as I should have understood at the beginning of my struggles that I understand now “…I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” (Romans 8:18)

I find it easy for myself to be caught up with the most trivial things; and of course those things apart from Christ are trivial. I don’t understand why time and again my earthly father and the church of my youth seem so important. What was done is done and cannot be undone. I can spend my whole life chewing on these things and suffering through these things over and over again, but it will not make one wrong right. It will not make one hurt better. And as I’ve said, I’ve no right to demand or expect vindication.

Ultimately these things are unimportant and pale magnificantly in comparison to the Grace and Forgiveness that I have received in Christ Jesus, whom by no other name can we find Salvation and Reconciliation before our Father in heaven. (Acts 4:12)

Praise be to God Almighty that I’ve been broken yet again! That I have been shattered and brought low. By mercy I have been thrown down before the throne of Grace that He might use me; that His strength may be made perfect in my weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9) And, O God, I am so very weak.

Is that not the point? Is that not the whole of it? That it is not about us in the slightest, but completely and utterly about the God of our Salvation? The Creator of the heavens and of the earth? That all things should point completely to Him and Him alone? All glory and honor, forever and ever?

It is here in this weakness where the glory of God is revealed. When He can take the smallest and the weakest and work His power through him, so that all who see will know that the Lord is God forever and ever, amen.

I sent in my Liberty University application. It has been a door that has been open for a couple years now, and a desire that has not been taken from me for over two years. They have a Bachellor’s program and a Master’s program that the Navy will completely pay for while I’m in.

Here’s stepping out on faith.

Blessings!

Prepare my heart, O God, to receive You. Have mercy on me, a sinner. Teach me, Lord, to honor You; to please You; to love You. Grant me repentance and faith. Let it be accounted to me wisdom; wisdom not of men, but rather a wisdom according to You.

Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin!
~Psalm 51:1-2

Who am I to be so angry? Who am I to be so furious? Did not the Lord use what was meant for evil for Good? Did not our Father in Heaven draw me out of death and into Life? Did not that which took place only drive me further into the Father’s hands?

Who am I?

I really have nothing to say. I have so many sins in my life that have been covered by God’s grace. The Lord Jesus bought me at cost that I will NEVER understand. Me!? A sinner. Why me?

Confronted with my self, I see nothing and no one else. The wretchedness of that man in the mirror silences all bitterness with I which rage!

The nightmares; insignificant! The flashbacks; insignificant! The memories; insignificant! I HAVE SINNED TO THE UTTERMOST!

For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment.
~Psalm 51:3-4

I’ve lost all right to demand vindication. I deserve condemnation, and yet in its place I’ve found grace.

O Lord my God, I would not have saved myself, but rather only waded further into the depths of my wickedness. After my heart I would have raced. BUT YOU, O God, have rescued me! You O Lord have granted mercy and grace. And in my place…propitiation in the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, Your Son.

Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have broken rejoice. Hide your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.
~Psalm 51:7-10

During my time in Cairns, Australia I acquired a djembe hand drum. As a drummer who had to sell his drum kit before leaving for the Navy (due to living and storage arrangements), and as a drummer who misses playing, I was excited to receive such an amazing drum.

I have had it for a few weeks and play it often in my free time. Last week my chaplain approached me about playing my djembe with our worship team on Sundays. I have to admit I was very nervous about the idea of playing with a band as I haven’t played with a group of musicians since early high school. I expressed my concern and he reminded me that if I have skills and giftings and do not use them to glorify and proclaim Christ, then I’m wasting what God has given me. Afterwhich he added that he’d also throw me overboard and feed me to the sea snakes we’ve seen in the water lately if I didn’t play…so I agreed I’d give it a try.

Thursday night was our first practice. I was very nervous and practice was very choppy. I wanted to just bow out, but for some reason…I didn’t. I kept going and praying for the Lord’s wisdom.

Before our second practice on Saturday evening I went down to the chapel an hour prior just to pray. I sought the Lord asking if I had any place or business playing with the worship team. As I prayed I realized that all I wanted to do was to play for Him. I wanted only to glorify Him. And when practice started things seemed to just fit together.

Today I played at morning service and it was a lot of fun. The music played well and all pointed to proclaim Christ, and Christ alone. The selection of songs drew our minds to the greatness of God.

In a couple hours I will be playing for the evening service, and I am excited to worship the Lord with what He has given me.

To be honest, I never thought that I would be on any worship team.

Roger Servin is quite the awesome gentleman. I met him sometime back through a comment he left on my blog regarding some absurd Calvinisitic notion that God would choose His own and calls them to Himself. Of course it was only “absurd” at the time because I wasn’t at all Calvinist and still relied on the tradition of my youth (Yo soy muy estupido), but now I have seen the light.

Recently he launched “Transformed by Grace,” and it is imperative that you check it out! Very edifying and God glorifying!

Blessings.

 ^{This post is to explain why I wrote “Some Things You Taught Me.”}

Preface: How I Got Here

It is no secret to my regular readers that the home I grew up in was a war zone, and the church of my youth served to greatly fuel the insanity that was my youth.  My family is severely broken, and since my mother’s passing three years ago only a few of us are speaking to each other. There have been olive branches offered, but when shots are fired upon a white flag you learn to keep your head low and wait upon the Lord’s order to move.

A few years back I was diagnosed with PTSD. (Heh…I guess you don’t have to be shot at to find yourself with PTSD.) While it is now greatly -by the grace of the Lord- under control, when I was first diagnosed I was having nightmares and flashbacks frequently (along with the other “pleasures” that go along with PTSD). It was a difficult thing to learn to deal with, and in those early days I responded with great malice and sin against those who contributed to the brokenness of the Brewer family. (And I have long since repented and asked for forgiveness.)

But great is the Lord, and worthy to be praised! The issues that come with PTSD (obsessive thoughts, intrusive memories, flashbacks, nightmares, altered social interaction, etc.) are no longer in control of my life. This, however, is not to say that I still don’t struggle. 

It Started with a Dove

The struggle began when I saw a picture of the all too familiar Calvary Chapel Dove, followed by a visit to the blog of a young gentleman I know from the church of my youth. Maybe it was the time of day, maybe it was that I was exhausted from a long duty day, maybe it was the fact that I had just confessed to myself the jealousy I had over my coworkers and the pretty strong relationships they had with their parents; truth be told I simply don’t know what the spark was.

I found a flood of intrusive memories flooding the forefront of my mind. Images of wrong doings, insincerity, hurtful words, and the justification offered for those things done. Then I could hear the phone call I received while I was working in Washington; my brother was calling me to ask for help. My father had become erratic in his behavior, he was hallucinating, and growing violent. My brother and sister had been at the house (this was after my mother’s death) in hopes to help my father resolve pressing issues which remained opened. My brother had called my father’s doctors, the local hospital, and even that church which loved my father so much, all to find that no one was willing to help. (But that church’s lack of assistance stung worst of all.) And so my twenty-one year old brother and my eighteen year old sister had to take on the weight of the world alone.

It was well that I worked at a Navy Hospital and happened to have good contacts in the E.R. I explained the symptoms my brother had described to me, and the doc had only one answer: have them call 9-1-1 and get him to a hospital! When my brother called back to find out what I had been told by my contacts I found that things had gotten worse. My brother called 9-1-1 and they had to take my father to the hospital via ambulance.

My father had become violent and fought against the doctors and it was my brother who had to immobilize my father so that the nurses could strap my father down. My father screamed and cursed and uttered foul and disgusting things against my brother and my sister who only wanted to help him. Then eventually he fell into a coma.

The doctors said it was an overdose (I will not say of what), and that when he woke up from the coma -if he woke up at all- there would be a strong chance that there would be some brain damage. And my siblings were left to deal with the weight of the world alone.

They called that church of our youth, and no one came. No one, save myself, offered any suggestions. And certainly, locally, no one came to their aid. My brother and sister believed in that moment -based on what the doctor had shared- that my father would not be able to live alone. He could not live with any of us, we were not equipped to take on such an unstable man; but we knew that we had to honor him by making sure he would be taken care of.

My brother and sister went to every assisted living community they could find. We had high standards that had to be met, and we wanted -despite how he had treated us- the best for him. Eventually after walking away from homes that did not meet our standards, my siblings found a home that would care for him in a strong Christian environment.

For his safety they had taken weapons -which were hung all over our walls- down and planned to place them in storage. In only a few days he awoke, and by grace, he was okay. He refused what my siblings had offered and demanded his weapons be returned (which the church likewise strongly suggested we do.) (REALLY? How would you have felt had he relapsed and hurt himself or someone else with those weapons?)

Eventually that church finally came to visit him, and he sweet talked them -as he always did- to stand in his corner while wagging fingers at my sibling for making bad decisions during the whole ordeal. (ARE YOU SERIOUS! YOU OFFERED NOTHING AND THEY DID THE BEST THEY COULD!) 

Gossip and accusations flew about that my brother and sister had tried to do my father in by drugging him; and some even insinuated that he should file charges. (I was made privy to some communications that later confirmed this.) Others wagged their tongues freely at the bad choices they made. 

The three of us were deemed as liars and horrible unloving children.

It was the final straw regarding that wretched and hurtful place. If they wanted my father so badly, then my youngest brother, my sister, and I were resolved to let them have him. They had interfered against us and were unwilling to help us in the situation, so we gave them what they wanted. We said our farewells to a hateful man, and moved on.

Even now as I type these words, I hear the voices, see the images, remember the words, and it hurts so much. (But writing does help.)

Now to Explain: Some Things You Taught Me

As these wretched things played in my head I remember becoming so angry. More things -minor things- played themselves over and over again as well. And then I remembered a letter from her who condemned me the loudest for the anger I had towards them, and the fact that I struggled to forgive them -which I must actively strive to do almost daily. She recounted nice things done, as if that justified and excused the excessive cruelty while dimissing anything I claimed. And I remembered being called a lost lamb who they hoped would one day return to their fold.

And something about that phrase, lost lamb, seemed so especially foul. As if because now that I am found in Christ and submitting to His will in my life and not conforming to whatever plans they had for me I was lost. 

I wrote, as a way of to comprehend  some of the things that place taught me (and perhaps I could have done something different). Not necessarily what was taught in the pulpit, but what was taught by the words and actions of the people in that place.

I left that church at twenty-0ne years old knowing little of God. I knew generals about Scripture, but truly I did not know much of God. What the Distinctives demanded, that I had seen; that I had been taught. And the Distinctives are indeed wretched! That place was a place of heartache and bondage. A contributor to a problem that I didn’t know how to properly express, and a problem some of them didn’t care to see.

But Such Grace…

As much as it hurts. As much as I hate what happened, I can rejoice in that God has set me free. The Lord has drawn me to Himself. What was done for evil -or good intentions gone wrong- God meant for His good. I am His utterly and completely. And these moments drive me even further and further into His arms.

If it were not for what I had experienced I would not be given to the doctrines of Grace and Reformed theology. I would still despise Scripture when it conflicts with my personal sense of right and wrong and seek to reason it into my worldview. I would still live a life that attempts to imitate the greatest Christian rather than living a life that strives to imitate Christ.

Because of all this the Lord has given me a heart to seek after Him. He called, and this lamb heard the voice of his Shepherd.

Oh how I wept last night. I prayed. I sought after Him…and in the end He found me.

But as a Note:

The next time you want to quote something that upholds the authority of Scripture over all things, remember that it is your founder that taught: 

Some people object because they feel that I gloss over certain passages of Scripture, and they’re correct. But glossing over controversial issues is often deliberate because there are usually two sides. And I have found that it’s important not to be divisive and not to allow people to become polarized on issues, because the moment they are polarized, there’s division.

~Calvary Chapel Distinctives, Chuck Smith, pp. 55

Which is how I learned out to mock other denominations for holding to doctrines different than our own; mock just like I heard at the pulpit. (So many things labelled as “weird.”) (And Chuck, they become polarized because they have not properly been taught the full counsel of God on such matters!)

I guess so much for:

Now, I believe that I can say to the people at Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa, “I have declared unto you the whole counsel of God,” because we have taken them from Genesis to Revelation seven times…We don’t skip anything. And that’s why in the majority of the Calvary Chapels, and the most successful ones, you’ll find the systematic teaching of the entire Word of God…

~Calvary Chapel Distinctives, Chuck Smith, pp. 60

In studying about the High Priests of the Old Testament I stumbled across this gem from Reformation Ink. The sermon is in the public domain, so I will share it in its entirety, but I would also encourage you to check out what other gems can be found from Reformation Ink.
——————

Christ Our High Priest
~Martin Luther

HEBREWS 9:11-15: But Christ being come an high priest of good things to come, by a greater and more perfect tabernacle, not made with hands, that is to say, not of this building; Neither by the blood of goats and calves, but by his own blood he entered in once into the holy place, having obtained eternal redemption for us. For if the blood of bulls and of goats, and the ashes of an heifer sprinkling the unclean, sanctifieth to the purifying of the flesh: How much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without spot to God, purge your conscience from dead works to serve the living God? And for this cause he is the mediator of the new testament, that by means of death, for the redemption of the transgressions that were under the first testament, they which are called might receive the promise of eternal inheritance.

1. An understanding of practically all of the Epistle to the Hebrews is necessary before we can hope to make this text clear to ourselves. Briefly, the epistle treats of a twofold priesthood. The former priesthood was a material one, with material adornment, tabernacle, sacrifices and with pardon couched in ritual; material were all its appointments. The new order is a spiritual priesthood, with spiritual adornments, spiritual tabernacle and sacrifices–spiritual in all that pertains to it. Christ, in the exercise of his priestly office, in the sacrifice on the cross, was not adorned with silk and gold and precious stones, but with divine love, wisdom, patience, obedience and all virtues. His adornment was apparent to none but God and possessors, of the Spirit, for it was spiritual.

2. Christ sacrificed not goats nor calves nor birds; not bread; not blood nor flesh, as did Aaron and his posterity: he offered his own body and blood, and the manner of the sacrifice was spiritual; for it took place through the Holy Spirit, as here stated. Though the body and blood of Christ were visible the same as any other material object, the fact that he offered them as a sacrifice was not apparent. It was not a visible sacrifice, as in the case of offerings at the hands of Aaron. Then the goat or calf, the flesh and blood, were material sacrifices visibly offered, and recognized as sacrifices. But Christ offered himself in the heart before God. His sacrifice was perceptible to no mortal. Therefore, his bodily flesh and blood becomes a spiritual sacrifice. Similarly, we Christians, the posterity of Christ our Aaron, offer up our own bodies (Rom 12:1). And our offering is likewise a spiritual sacrifice, or, as Paul has it, a “reasonable service”; for we make it in spirit, and it is beheld of God alone.

3. Again, in the new order, the tabernacle or house is spiritual; for it is heaven, or the presence of God. Christ hung upon a cross; he was not offered in a temple. He was offered before the eyes of God, and there he still abides. The cross is an altar in a spiritual sense. The material cross was indeed visible, but none knew it as Christ’s altar. Again, his prayer, his sprinkled blood, his burnt incense, were all spiritual, for it was all wrought through his spirit.

4. Accordingly, the fruit and blessing of his office and sacrifice, the forgiveness of our sins and our justification, are likewise spiritual. In the Old Covenant, the priest with his sacrifices and sprinklings of blood effected merely as it were an external absolution, or pardon, corresponding to the childhood stage of the people. The recipient was permitted to move publicly among the people; he was externally holy and as one restored from excommunication. He who failed to obtain absolution from the priest was unholy, being denied membership in the congregation and enjoyment of its privileges; in all respects he was separated like those in the ban today.

5. But such absolution rendered no one inwardly holy and just before God. Something beyond that was necessary to secure true forgiveness. It was the same principle which governs church discipline today. He who has received no more than the remission, or absolution, of the ecclesiastical judge will surely remain forever out of heaven. On the other hand, he who is in the ban of the Church is hellward bound only when the sentence is confirmed at a higher tribunal. I can make no better comparison than to say that it was the same in the old Jewish priesthood as now in the Papal priesthood, which, with its loosing and binding, can prohibit or permit only external communion among Christians. It is true, God required such measures in the time of the Jewish dispensation, that he might restrain by fear; just as now he sanctions church discipline when rightly employed, in order to punish and restrain the evil-doer, though it has no power in itself to raise people to holiness or to push them into wickedness.

6. But with the priesthood of Christ is true spiritual remission, sanctification and absolution. These avail before God–God grant that it be true of us–whether we be outwardly excommunicated, or holy, or not. Christ’s blood has obtained for us pardon forever acceptable with God. God will forgive our sins for the sake of that blood so long as its power shall last and its intercession for grace in our behalf, which is forever. Therefore, we are forever holy and blessed before God. This is the substance of the text. Now that we shall find it easy to understand, we will briefly consider it.

“But Christ having come a high priest of the good things to come.”

7. The adornment of Aaron and his descendants, the high priests, was of a material nature, and they obtained for the people a merely formal remission of sins, performing their office in a perishable temple, or tabernacle. It was evident to men that their absolution and sanctification before the congregation was a temporal blessing confined to the present. But when Christ came upon the cross no one beheld him as he went before God in the Holy Spirit, adorned with every grace and virtue, a true High Priest. The blessings wrought by him are not temporal–a merely formal pardon–but the “blessings to come”; namely, blessings which are spiritual and eternal. Paul speaks of them as blessings to come, not that we are to await the life to come before we can have forgiveness and all the blessings of divine grace, but because now we possess them only in faith. They are as yet hidden, to be revealed in the future life. Again, the blessings we have in Christ were, from the standpoint of the Old Testament priesthood, blessings to come.

“Through the greater and more perfect tabernacle, not made with hands, that is to say, not of this creation.”

8. The apostle does not name the tabernacle he mentions; nor can he, so strange its nature! It exists only in the sight of God, and is ours in faith, to be revealed hereafter. It is not made with hands, like the Jewish tabernacle; in other words, not of “this building.” The old tabernacle, like all buildings of its nature, necessarily was made of wood and other temporal materials created by God. God says in Isaiah 66:1-2: “What manner of house will ye build unto me?….For all these things hath my hand made, and so all these things came to be.” But that greater tabernacle has not yet form; it is not yet finished. God is building it and he shall reveal it. Christ’s words are (Jn. 14:3), “And if I go and prepare a place for you.”

“Nor yet through the blood of goats and calves, but through his own blood, entered in once for all into the holy place, having obtained eternal redemption.”

9. According to Leviticus 16, the high priest must once a year enter into the holy place with the blood of rams and other offerings, and with these make formal reconciliation for the people. This ceremony typified that Christ, the true Priest, should once die for us, to obtain for us the true atonement. But the former sacrifice, having to be repeated every year, was but a temporary and imperfect atonement; it did not eternally suffice, as does the atonement of Christ. For though we fall and sin repeatedly, we have confidence that the blood of Christ does not fall, or sin; it remains steadfast before God, and the expiation is perpetual and eternal. Under its sway grace is perpetually renewed, without work or merit on our part, provided we do not stand aloof in unbelief.

“For if the blood of goats and bulls, and the ashes of a heifer,” etc.

10. Concerning the water of separation and the ashes of the red heifer, read Numbers 19; and concerning the blood of bulls and goats, Leviticus 16:14-15. According to Paul, these were formal and temporal purifications, as I stated above. But Christ, in God’s sight, purifies the conscience of dead works; that is, of sins meriting death, and of works performed in sin and therefore dead. Christ purifies from these, that we may serve the living God by living works.

“And for this cause he is the mediator of a new covenant [testament],” etc.

11. Under the old law, which provided only for formal, or ritualistic pardon, and restored to human fellowship, sin and transgressions remained, burdening the conscience. It–the old law–did not benefit the soul at all, inasmuch as God did not institute it to purify and safeguard the conscience, nor to bestow the Spirit. It existed merely for the purpose of outward discipline, restraint and correction. So Paul teaches that under the Old Testament dispensation man’s transgressions remained, but now Christ is our Mediator through his blood; by it our conscience, is freed from sin in the sight of God, inasmuch as God promises the Spirit through the blood of Christ. All, however, do not receive him. Only those called to be heirs eternal, the elect, receive the Spirit.

12. We find, then, in this excellent lesson, the comforting doctrine taught that Christ is he whom we should know as the Priest and Bishop of our souls; that no sin is forgiven, nor the Holy Spirit given, by reason of works or merit on our part, but alone through the blood of Christ, and that to those for whom God has ordained it. This matter has been sufficiently set forth in the various postils.

“…The purpose [of my blog] is to deal with the aftermath of what happened in my life; my reactions, my progression, and my regression. (As you can see, I am in a state of regression.) I wasn’t able to really evaluate the damage being done in my home because I was lead to believe that the constant screaming, shouting, hitting, belittling, berating, humiliating, etc. were [a] completely normal experience; my siblings and I were just incredibly weak. (I think what hurts the most is it took my mother’s death to open my eyes to the incredible horrors that happened behind closed doors.)…”

~Michael W. Brewer Jr., Written to a concerned reader

I’ve been writing journals since I was very young. Up until a few years ago, I had kept many of my journals in a box stored where ever I felt them to be most safe. They were the well preserved chronicles of a strange and abnormal life; something tangible that I could look over in hopes to one day piece together the broken pieces of glass and understand that reflection that stared back at me.

Then I started writing as a way to keep my sanity. There was so much that I couldn’t understand, so much that didn’t make sense to me, and I hoped that by writing down those events and thoughts I could keep my sanity, and –again- one day understand.

A few short years ago…two, maybe three, I purged those journals because I didn’t need anything else fueling the flashbacks and nightmares that I was wrestling with. I hoped to be freed of all the memories –and the emotions tied to those memories. Things only got worse, and then I wrote once again (this time prayerfully) to quiet the chaos that roared within.

Eventually –by God’s grace- I began to rely less on my writing as a source of relief and more on Him. When, by the power of the Spirit, I was able to do that, my writing style not only changed, but I began to see all the times that my Heavenly Father carried me when I was too weak to go on. I would find old un-purged documents left over from my flight to an imagined freedom and peace just years before, and in my screaming –which I call those writings- I saw God’s mercy and God’s grace bring me closer and closer to Him.

Today I journal for the glory of God; hoping that I might honor Him and encourage others to look to Him in their times of struggle. Today I write as a way to constantly check my own heart and measure myself, where I am, where I need to be, and how far the Lord has brought me from where I started so many years ago.

The Lord our God is merciful and full of grace, and how far I’ve come from where I began is completely and solely the work of the Lord Jesus in my life.

Question 1. What is thy only comfort in life and death?

Answer: That I with body and soul, both in life and death,(a) am not my own, (b) but belong unto my faithful Saviour Jesus Christ; (c) who, with his precious blood, has fully satisfied for all my sins, (d) and delivered me from all the power of the devil; (e) and so preserves me (f) that without the will of my heavenly Father, not a hair can fall from my head; (g) yea, that all things must be subservient to my salvation, (h) and therefore, by his Holy Spirit, He also assures me of eternal life, (i) and makes me sincerely willing and ready, henceforth, to live unto him. (j)

[(a) Romans 14:7 (b) 1 Corinthians 6:19 (c) 1 Corinthians 3:23, Titus 2:14 (d) 1 Peter 1:18-19, 1 John 1:7, 1 John 2:2, 1 John 2:12 (e) Hebrews 2:14, 1 John 3:8, John 8:34-36 (f) John 6:39, John 10:28, 2 Thessalonians 3:3, 1 Peter 1:5 (g) Matthew 10:29-31, Luke 21:18 (h) Romans 8:28 (i) 2 Corinthians 1:20-22, 2 Corinthians 5:5, Ephesians 1:13-14, Romans 8:16 (j) Romans 8:14, 1 John 3:3]

-Heidelberg Catechism

There was a time when I believed that catechisms were strictly a Roman Catholic practice to introduce their youth and newly converted into the tenets of their Religion. And growing up in a silly tradition that seemed to view denominations and/or anything that brought a definite stand on issues of doctrine as a negative and divisive tool, I was certain that catechisms of any kind were the anti-scriptural teachings of wicked men looking to push their own agendas.

When I learned of the Heidelberg Catechism -a sort of protestant catechism- long after having left that silly tradition, I was awe-struck that there were those who at an early age were taught the strong and sound doctrines of their faith. Questioned, quizzed, and given the opportunity to discuss those things deeply profound in our faith. To be honest, I was quite envious.

Today it seems that less and less Christians are familiar with the basic truths of their Religion, and instead focus on how they like to picture or imagine God. Of course, often times that imagining is not at all as God declares Himself in Scripture. Perhaps there is some wisdom in teaching our children and newly converted the tenets of our One True Faith through a strong and Biblically sound catechism.

Of course such a catechism would, and could, never replace the Word of God in any sense, but perhaps a systematic theological approach with sound exegesis would help our young, newly converted, and the many of us veterans who could always use with a good refresher, be better equipped for calling out false doctrine and proclaiming the undeniable truth of God’s Word.

There is a sense of worry in the world around me. Economy is failing to meet our expectations. The government seems to be untrustworthy; our leaders too corrupt to properly perform their duties. War is erupting across the map. The next terrorist attack is always on the horizon; seeking to top America’s 9/11.

Worry. A natural response to the shock and awe of today’s ever gloomy events. Worry. An inevitable response from a world losing faith because its idols are unable to withstand the weight of that faith.

Fingers are being pointed every which way except back at ourselves. Our pockets are empty, so now someone must pay up, but the problem is not money and its dropping value. The problem is not government leaders -because why should we be surprised when a viper acts like a viper? The problem is me. The problem is you. The heart of the problem rests in the image staring back at us in the mirror.

Sin. It is an inherited condition, and one that we indulge in. It is fun for a season, and when the season is up…well it is not so fun anymore. Sin is a disease with which we have all been infected. It destroys lives, relationships, families, communities, cities, cultures, and countries. And it isn’t something that we can cure with a pill or blame someone else for.

Each one of us has sinned and enjoyed our sin. Sinning, of course, is something that is done against God. A breaking of His standards; literally, missing the mark.

How much time have we wasted trusting in our idols? We all have them; I have them. How much time have we allowed to slip from our fingers going through the motions of life believing that our idols will keep us secure?

I think the bailout plan speaks quite loudly of our love for our idols, and our willingness to do whatever we can to reassure our faith in those idols. Instead of coming together as families and communities, instead of finding ways to make do with less and sacrifice some of our luxuries, we decided to make our children, our children’s children, and our children’s children’s children the inheritors of a monumental debt. How does this not speak to the problem with sin that we have as a nation?

And of course this is only a current event example. We could reflect on our crime rate (violent and otherwise), we could speak to our corruption, we could speak to our permissive behaviors, and much more.

Despite how incredibly heretical it is to say in light of America’s modern, cute, sensitive, culturally aware, and Christless christianity, I believe that the various crisis situations we face are an outpouring of God’s wrath on our sin. I know that there are some that would argue that God is merciful, loving, and longsuffering, to which I respond, amen. But God still deals with sin. God doesn’t let sin go unanswered forever.

Nineveh is a great example. It was an exceedingly wicked city which God had been patient with. God showed compassion and mercy upon Nineveh by sending His prophet, Jonah, to call the people of Nineveh to repentance. God even took His prophet to the point of death when Jonah refused to fulfill God’s command. When Jonah obeyed and delivered God’s message (however poorly Jonah had delivered it), the people repented of their wicked ways and turned to God. And they were spared for their faith.

But…Nineveh eventually returned to its wickedness, and turned its back on God. God was patient with them; God had shown grace towards them, God gave them mercy, but that patience had ended in its proper time and God dealt with their sin…

Woe to the bloody city,
all full of lies and plunder-
no end to the prey!
The crack of the whip, and rumble
of the wheel,
galloping horses and bounding chariot!
Horsemen charging,
flashing sword and glittering spear,
hosts of slain,
heaps of corpses,
dead bodies without end…

…Behold, I am against you,
declares the LORD of hosts,
and will lift up your skirts over
your face;
and I will make nations look at your
nakedness
and kingdoms at your shame.
I will throw filth at you
and treat you with contempt
and make you a spectacle.
And all who look at you will shrink
from you and say,
Wasted is Nineveh; who will grieve
for her?
Where shall I seek comforter for
you?…

…There is no easing your hurt;
your wound is grievous.
All who hear the news about you
clap their hands over you.
For upon whom has not come
your unceasing evil?

~Nahum 3

God deals with sin, and we are all sinners. I am not saying that God is about to wipe us off the map because honestly I don’t know the plans of God. What I am saying is that we have a sin problem that has become more and more evident, prevalent, perverse, and permissive.

We are chasing after our own lusts and desires; things wicked in the sight of God. We call good evil and evil good. We rejoice in wickedness. We don’t love God. And we are -knowingly or not- at war with God.

And our idols are getting us nowhere.

If we, then, are the problem, are we also the solution? Some, perhaps many, would say yes; there is some good in all of us that will pull together to set things right. I greatly disagree.

Look at our solutions so far.

No, if we are honest, we are not the solution. Sin is the problem. In sin we are dead. What can the dead do? Nothing.

We need to fall to our knees and REPENT (a very uncomfortable word) of our wickedness. We need to place our trust in Jesus Christ who died on the cross for our (those who put their trust in Him) sins.

Will repenting make the money crisis go away, end all war, bring worldwide peace, and prosper our nation? No. That is idolatry. But Christ never fails us. He is all sufficient. He is our treasure and our portion. When there is true Faith in Jesus Christ there is always hope because Christ won’t fail.

Money fails. Worldly peace fails. Governments fail. Leaders fail. The world is losing its faith because it has misplaced its faith.

Our problem is bigger than money, war, corruption in government, etc., etc. The problem begins with our sin. It is our death. It secures our damnation in Hell. It is our transgression.

But God, rich in mercy, has shown us Grace through the work of the Cross. In Christ there is salvation for those who rest their entire faith upon Him.

Despite the climate around me, I have faith because Christ doesn’t fail. He is sufficient for me. I can do with less because I have Christ. I can resist my sin because Christ has enabled me to do so. I can live without worry because the Lord provides for the needs (not necessarily the wants) of His children.

To Live is Christ, to die is gain.

The Love of God.

…So also did Jim Jones have a congregation that loved him, but that doesn’t validate anything he said or taught. Too often we can get caught up with people and personalities, and place them on pedestals. We raise them up on a level almost equal to God and Scripture. Their thoughts, works, and words become infallible in our eyes; and foolishly we wait upon them rather than waiting upon the LORD. 

This is idolatry; Sin, and a doorway to abuse and heresy.

  And God spoke all these words, saying, ”I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.

 ”You shall have no other gods before me.

 ”You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the LORD your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments.
~Exodus 20:1-6 

The Word of God supersedes all. God’s Word is greater than our traditions, our favorite teachers/preachers/pastors/speakers, personal understandings, and suppositions/theories.  If we give men (or our idols) and strange traditions a place equal to Scripture, we could easily find ourselves walking into unhealthy/dangerous heresies that lead us away from God, and right to the gates of Hell.

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.
~2 Timothy 3:16-17 

Fine and respectable street preaching.

I love my wife and daughter.