WWE open, awesome Royal Rumble opening video package, pyro and ballyhoo.  We’re LIVE from the Philips Arena in Atlanta, Georgia!  Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Matt Striker are our hosts.

Savannah introduces the opening match, for the ECW Championship.

ECW Championship Match: Christian (c) vs. Ezekiel Jackson (w/ William Regal).  Jackson overpowers Christian to start.  Zeke mouths off and Christian slaps him, then bails and gets Jackson to give chase, which allows Christian to gain the advantage.  Christian springs to the top rope and takes out Zeke on the outside with a dive.  Christian avoids clotheslines and slaps Zeke again.  That strikes me as poor planning.  Zeke wails on Christian.  Christian goes for the Killswitch, but fails.  Zeke tries to press slam Christian, but Christian escapes and stands on Zeke on the middle rope, as he is apt to do.  Christian slides out, hits a palm strike, and tries to come off the top rope, but Zeke pulls him down and sends him out of the ring.  Regal tries to interfere, so the referee ejects him from ringside.  Zeke cranks on a neck lock back in the ring.  Christian tries to fight out, but Zeke chokeslams him for 2.  Zeke hits a stalling vertical suplex for 2.  Christian tries to fight back again, but Zeke hits a choke bomb for 2.  Sick enzui lariat gets 2.  Zeke keeps up the heat on Christian.  Christian comes back with a missile dropkick for 2, then goes for the Killswitch but fails again.  Christian goes for a diving headbutt, but Zeke avoids it.  Zeke hits a lariat for 2.  “LARIATO!” says Striker.  Zeke hits a backbreaker for 2.  Christian avoids Zeke in the corner and hits his through the ropes kick, then a tornado DDT for 2.  Zeke hits another lariat for 2.  Christian fails the Killswitch again, but jumps on Zeke’s back and clamps on a sleeper hold.  Zeke gets hold of him and Oklahoma Stampedes him into the turnbuckles twice.  Christian escapes and hits the Killswitch out of nowhere for the pin in 12:01.  Good match!

Teddy Long and Tiffany talk in the GM office.  Cryme Tyme comes in.  They’re mad because the two of them are only allowed one spot in the Rumble match.  They say they’ve talked someone into giving them their spot.  The call in Great Khali.  They tell him he can kiss Tiffany if they can have his spot.  Ranjin Singh comes in and explains the situation to Khali.  They end up singing “Pants On The Ground.”  The Miz comes in, as confused as I am.  Teddy says that since there is no Raw guest host present, he’s in charge, so tonight, The Miz will defend the United States Championship against MVP.  Khali and Singh sing “Who Let The Dogs Out.”

Randy Orton is sitting in his locker room.  Cody Rhodes comes in and tells him that he’ll be there for him tonight, but Ted Dibiase has been talking about winning the Rumble match and going on to beat Orton for the WWE Championship.

Justin Roberts introduces the United States Championship Match!

WWE United States Championship Match: The Miz (c) vs. Montel Vontavious Porter.  They go straight at it.  MVP gets the first cover off of a clothesline.  MVP hits a suplex and floats over for a 1 count.  MVP keeps up the offensive.  Miz bails.  MVP follows him out and drops him across the barricade.  Miz gets back inside.  When MVP tries to follow, Miz pushes him off the apron and sends him face first into the announcers’ table.  Miz puts the boots to MVP on the outside and then back inside.  Miz either wears MVP down or gives him a rest with a hold on the mat.  MVP makes his comeback.  Ballin’ elbow drop.  MVP goes for the Playmaker, but Miz counters, then runs into MVP’s Yakuza kick for 2.  Miz pulls MVP across the top rope from the apron, goes for knee lift, but MVP hits a shoulder block for 2.  Miz avoids the Yakuza kick in the corner and goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, but MVP turns it into a front cradle for 2.  MVP gets 2 counts with various cradles.  Miz bails, but MVP throws him back in the ring.  Miz gets an inside cradle for the pin in 7:30.  Fine match.  Miz taunts MVP with the belt, so MVP gives him the Playmaker.

The Big Show runs into Chris Jericho backstage.  Show says Jericho is jealous of Show’s new partnership with The Miz.  Jericho runs down the list of all of Miz’s bad qualities, which happen to be some of Jericho’s same qualities.  Show says his loyalties are now to himself, and he’ll throw Jericho out of the Rumble if it comes down to it.  R-Truth says if Show doesn’t, he will.  Jericho looks to Show for backup, but Show has already left.

Randy Orton is walking backstage when he runs into Ted Dibiase.  Dibiase tells him the opposite of what Rhodes told him earlier.

Tomorrow night, William Shatner guest hosts Raw!  And Bret Hart returns to confront Mr. McMahon!  The announcers plug what the video just plugged, then show soldiers in the crowd.

WWE Championship Match: Sheamus (c) vs. Randy Orton.  Entrances, intros, and a long stare down.  They finally lock up.  Orton drops Sheamus with a dropkick, then slithers back to the corner… like a snake!  Sheamus clubs Orton down and hits a swank looking arm breaker.  Orton bails.  Sheamus follows him out, beats him up, and brings him back in.  Man, Sheamus is so white he’s almost clear.  Orton chop blocks Sheamus and attacks the leg.  Sheamus fights back and attacks Orton’s shoulder.  Orton works the leg again.  Sheamus works Orton’s shoulder again.  They trade punches with the “BOO!”  “YAY!” bit from the crowd.  Crowd likes Orton in this one.  Sheamus hits a swank uranage backbreaker for 2.  Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge, but Orton slips out and kicks the bad leg twice, sending Sheamus out of the ring.  Orton catches Sheamus on the way back in the DDT OF MURDER!  Cover, but Sheamus grabs the bottom rope to break the count.  Orton sets up the PUNT OF DOOM, but Sheamus bails out of the ring to avoid it.  Cody Rhodes comes in through the crowd and attacks Sheamus.  The referee politely waits until Orton hits the RKO and covers before calling for the DQ, giving Sheamus the win in 12:26.  Good match other than the stupid ref taking so long to call for the bell.  Rhodes tries to explain himself to Orton.  Orton slugs him and beats his head against the mat.  Ted Dibiase runs out to pull him off.  Orton punches Teddy and screams at both of them that they’re done, so I guess that means Legacy is kaput.  Orton turns around and eats Sheamus’ pump kick.

Shots of Atlanta, plug for one of the Rumble theme songs.

Video package for the feud that is my pick for the 2010 Gooker of the Year Award, Michelle McCool vs. Mickie James.

Tony Chimel announces the Women’s Title match.  Michelle McCool comes out and cuts an annoying promo.  Layla comes out in her fat suit and pig nose.  The real Mickie James runs to the ring, kicks Layla’s ass, and hits the ring for…

WWE Women’s Championship Match: Michelle McCool (c) (w/ Layla) vs. Mickie James.  Layla gets on the apron.  McCool accidentally nails her.  Mickie hits the DDT for the pin to regain the championship in 22 seconds.  She drops Layla with a kick and Layla falls on Michelle.  Gail Kim, Maria, Kelly Kelly, Eve Torres, and the Bella Twins bring a huge cake out and hold McCool and Layla for Mickie to throw it in their faces.  At least this horrible fucking angle had a satisfying conclusion.  At least I hope to God that’s the conclusion.

WWE Elimination Chamber, LIVE Sunday, February 21!

Rey Mysterio is headed to the ring!

Mysterio/Undertaker video package.

World Heavyweight Championship Match: The Undertaker (c) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.  Mysterio goes with his usual big guy match strategy of being abusive and elusive.  Undertaker picks Mysterio up and throws him over the top rope to eliminate him from the Royal Rumble Match.  Mysterio gets up to the apron and Undertaker punches him off.  Mysterio avoids the apron leg drop, but eats it on the second attempt.  Mysterio goes for the 619, but Undertaker catches him and goes for the Tombstone.  Mysterio wriggles free and kicks Taker in the head.  Mysterio tries a springboard cross body, but eats Undertaker’s boot.  Taker dismantles Mysterio at ringside.  Mysterio avoids a big boot, causing Taker to wrap his leg around the post.  Mysterio attacks the leg.  Taker goes for a Last Ride on the outside, but Mysterio grabs the ropes and takes Taker down with an Asai moonsault.  Taker has a bloody nose.  Taker avoids a baseball slide dropkick and THROWS Mysterio into the barricade.  Back inside, pissed off Taker dismantles Mysterio.  Mysterio takes Taker down.  Taker sits up.  Mysterio dropkicks him down and hits the springboard guillotine leg drop for 2.  Mysterio keeps up the comeback until Taker murders him with a clothesline.  Mysterio avoids the Last Ride and hits the 619, dropkick, another 619, then goes for the West Coast Pop, but Taker catches him and drills him with the Last Ride for the pin in 11:08.  REALLY good match here.

Backstage, Kane tells Shawn Michaels that his obsession with The Undertaker is unhealthy.  Triple H enters as Kane leaves.  They agree that tonight, “May the best man win.”  Michaels says him and The Undertaker is destiny.  Triple H says he’ll have to find another way.

WrestleMania teaser video.

The announcers introduce the awesome Royal Rumble hype video.

Justin Roberts explains the rules of the Royal Rumble that we’ve all known by heart for years.

Royal Rumble Match: #1 is Dolph Ziggler.  #2 is Evan Bourne.  They both look up at the WrestleMania XXVI sign for a cool visual moment, then go at it.  Bourne gets the better of Ziggler with a rana and a big kick.  Ziggler lands some punches, dropkicks Bourne, and tries to eliminate him but fails.  Bourne ranas Ziggler to the apron, but Ziggler manages to stay in.  Ziggler hits the Zig Zag and tries to throw Bourne out again.  Bourne drops Ziggler with a kick from the apron and hits a Shooting Star press.  #3 is CM Punk (w/ Serena).  Punk tosses Bourne, then clotheslines Ziggler out of the ring.  Serena hands Punk the microphone and cuts his usual promo, mid-Rumble.  The countdown begins and Punk says “Excuse me, it’s Clobberin’ Time.”  Awesome.  #4 is JTG.  JTG runs wild for a minute, then gets eliminated.  Punk continues his promo.  #5 is Great Khali (w/ Ranjin Singh).  Punk offers to “save” Khali.  Khali chops him down and puts him in the head vice.  #6 is Beth Phoenix, the second woman to ever enter the Royal Rumble.  Khali picks Beth up and gently places her on the apron.  Beth kisses him and pulls him out of the ring to eliminate him.  Beth clotheslines Punk and kicks his ass.  Punk counters her and gives her the Go 2 Sleep.  #7 is Zack Ryder.  Punk eliminates Phoenix.  Punk teases offering to save Ryder, then hits him with the mic, kicks his ass, and eliminates him.  Punk continues his promo.  #8 is one half of the Unified WWE Tag Team Champions, Triple H, who won the last Rumble match held in Atlanta.  Triple H kicks Punk’s ass.  Punk hits the knee to the corner.  Triple H avoids the bulldog and hits the spinebuster.  #9 is the Intercontinental Champion, Drew McInytre.  Triple H beats up McIntyre a bit, then tries to Pedigree Punk.  Punk counters and goes for the Go 2 Sleep.  Triple H counters and eliminates Punk.  McIntyre and Triple H go at it.  #10 is Ted Dibiase Jr.  The young heels double team Triple H.  #11 is John Morrison.  Morrison runs wild on Dibiase, then goes after his rival, McIntyre.  Morrison drills McIntyre with a spinning DDT.  Dibiase attacks Morrison and goes for the Dream Street, but Morrison counters and drops Dibiase with a kick.  Morrison hits the Starship Pain on McIntyre.  Triple H clotheslines Morrison.  #12 is Kane.  Kane hits the diving clothesline on Triple H, then runs wild on everybody else.  Double chokeslam to Morrison and McIntyre.  Kane tries to eliminate Dibiase.  Triple H saves him, oddly.  Kane chokeslams Triple H and tries to eliminate Dibiase again.  #13 is Cody Rhodes, who saves his partner.  Legacy double teams Kane.  Rhodes drops Hunter and McIntyre.  Morrison fights Rhodes but gets knocked to the apron.  Morrison tries a springboard, but gets caught with a dropkick from Rhodes.  Triple H stops Legacy from eliminating Kane.  Triple H almost eliminates Rhodes.  #14 is MVP, but Miz hits him in the back of the head the United States title belt before he can make it to the ring.  Hunter fights Rhodes and Kane fights McIntyre.  Morrison hits the Flying Chuck on McIntyre.  The referees help MVP out.  #15 is Carlito.  He runs wild on everyone and hits the Back Stabber on Triple H, McIntyre, and Dibiase.  #16 is the United States Champion, The Miz.  Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale on Carlito, then goes after Morrison.  MVP comes in and kicks Miz’s ass, eliminates Miz and himself in the process.  #17 is Matt Hardy.  Twist of Fate to McIntyre.  Side Effect to Rhodes.  Kane eliminates Hardy.  Triple H eliminates Kane.  Spinebusters to Rhodes, Carlito, Dibiase, and Morrison.  Triple H goes for the Pedigree on Rhodes, but McIntyre takes out his leg.  Carlito and McIntyre attack Triple H’s leg.  #18 is Unified WWE Tag Team Champion Shawn Michaels.  Michaels eliminates Carlito, Rhodes, Dibiase, and Morrison in short order.  McIntyre gets in some offense on Michaels.  Hunter wakes up for some DX double teaming to eliminate McIntyre.  DX stare down.  #19 is John Cena.  Cena runs wild on DX with his comeback routine, including a double Five Knuckle Shuffle.  Cena tries the Attitude Adjustment on Michaels.  Triple H saves and Pedigrees Cena.  Michaels shows what an ingrate he is by superkicking Triple H out of the match.  #20 is Shelton Benjamin.  Shelton runs wild.  Paydirt to Michaels.  He tries it on Cena, but Cena lifts him up and eliminates him.  #21 is Yoshi Tatsu!  Yoshi runs wild for a minute, and is awesome until Cena eliminates him.  #22 is The Big Show.  He runs wild for about 10 seconds.  Cena and Michaels counter each other.  Michaels has to do the skin the cat spot to avoid being eliminated, almost is able to head scissors Big Show, but Show drops him on the mat.  #23 is Mark Henry.  Henry and Show have their big guy fight for a few seconds.  Cena hits some shoulder blocks on Show and Henry body slams him.  Cena tries to F-U Henry but fails.  #24 is Chris Masters.  Masters press slams Michaels and tries to put Show in the Master Lock, but Show eliminates him.  Henry struggles with Show on the ropes.  Michaels tries to help.  #25 is R-Truth.  Truth eliminates Henry AND Show, then runs wild on Cena and Michaels.  #26 is Jack Swagger.  Swagger has his turn to run wild.  Oklahoma Stampede to R-Truth.  Swagger ALMOST eliminates Michaels, who luckily and desperately manages to hold on.  #27 is Kofi Kingston.  Kofi runs wild.  Boom Drop to Swagger, then Kofi eliminates him.  Kofi almost gets eliminated himself, but eliminates R-Truth instead.  #28 is Chris Jericho, who gets a big pop.  Jericho gets his licks in.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment on Jericho.  Michaels hits a DDT on Cena.  Michaels hits the diving elbow drop on Jericho.  Michaels warms up a superkick, but Kofi nails him with the Trouble In Paradise.  Cena eliminates Kofi.  Jericho hits the Codebreaker on Cena.  #29 is the returning Edge!  Edge goes straight for his former partner Jericho, spears everyone, and eliminates Jericho.  Edgecution to Cena.  #30 is Batista.  All participants have entered and there are only 4 left: Michaels, Cena, Edge, and Batista.  Batista runs wild and hits spinebusters on Michaels and Cena.  Edge spears Batista.  Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment on Edge.  Michaels hits the diving elbow on Cena and an enzuigirl on Batista.  Diving elbow to Batista.  Superkick to Cena.  Superkick to Batista.  Edge clotheslines Michaels and they both go over but manage to stay on the apron.  Michaels superkicks Edge back INTO the ring.  Batista hits Michaels from behind and eliminates him.  Michaels goes crazy, throws a ref into the table, and superkicks referee Charles Robinson.  He finally leaves.  I hope this means we’re gonna get crazy Shawn Michaels leading to WrestleMania.  Cena counters the Batista Bomb.  Batista counters the Attitude Adjustment.  Cena low bridges Batista out of the ring.  We’re down to 2.  Edge throws Cena out of the ring to win it in 49:24.  Edge celebrates.

I’ll give the show a thumbs up all in all as the undercard was really good (especially Undertaker/Mysterio).  The Rumble itself was a little rushed and underwhelming, with way too much “guy comes in, runs wild, gets eliminated.”  Still, even a poor Rumble is fun to watch.

Royal Rumble 2010 – January 31, 2010

It’s hard to believe it’s been 22 years since the original Royal Rumble, which was from Hamilton, Ontario and aired on the USA Network not PPV. The Royal Rumble has always been my favorite PPV of the year, even over Wrestlemania, as anything can happen and we usual get some really good moments. Past winners of the Royal Rumble have included Big John Studd, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Chris Benoit, Shawn Michaels, Hulk Hogan and many more. The Royal Rumble used to be anyone can win match, but that was changed in 1993 when it became the winner goes to Wrestlemania. This was supposed to make the match more exciting, but personally that kind of ruined it for me. The reason is simple, before anyone could win; now it’s basically a core group of 5 or 6 that have a chance, and everyone else is basically fodder. The Rumble is not without its history though, as we’ve seen some amazing moments including the title win of Ric Flair, the debut of Giant Gonzales, and the returns of both Triple H and John Cena. Tonight at the Royal Rumble we have not only the 30 man classic, but four big title matches. Mickie James, the hottest diva ever, challenges the fire buzzard for the Women’s title. After months of torment from the buzzard and her little friend, tonight Mickie goes for redemption. The big man, Ezekiel Jackson challenges Captain Charisma Christian, for the ECW title. Can the massive Jackson topple the long reigning king of the land of extreme, or will Zeke fall from grace? Sheamus has run roughshod over the entire RAW roster since coming from ECW in October, and scored a huge win over John Cena for the title. Tonight Sheamus faces his toughest challenge, in the viper Randy Orton, in a rare battle between the two most hated men on RAW. Finally Undertaker faces the human mosquito, Rey Mysterio. Will Rey give the Undertaker malaria, or can the Dead Man squash Mysterio? All this tonight, live from Atlanta, GA! Let’s start the 2010 Royal Rumble!

We open the show with a nice video package showing tonight starts the road to Wrestlemania. The video asks who will be the one, is that foreshadowing that number one will one? We get the quick recaps of Randy/Sheamus and Undertaker/Rey. Way to show no respect for the ECW and Women’s title. We see some of the eliminations for last year, as the video asking again who will be the one. Michael Cole welcomes us to the 23rd Royal Rumble, from Atlanta, GA and sends it to Savannah. That’s the match I assumed would be the opener.

1. Christian v. Ezekiel Jackson. I knew this would be the opening match, as neither World title would be an opener and you can’t start with the woman. I assume next is the RAW title, then Women’s, then Smackdown and finally the Rumble. Michael Cole introduces us to the announce team tonight which includes himself (damn), Jerry Lawler (damn again) and Matt Stryker. Well one out of three, but then again who else do they have? All this goes on, while Christian is introduced, and instead of showing the champ we see the announcers. As I said, no respect for ECW whatsoever. Ezekiel Jackson comes out with William Regal; did I say how nice Savannah looks? Just saying is all. The Mad Hatter from Blackpool? OK, that was a different description for Bill Regal. After his accidental nudity a while back, I call him Wee Willie Winkle! Just saying is all. The bell rings and they lock up, and Zeke overpowers Christian, with ease. Cole is going over the stats of Jackson, as they make him sound like Andre. Jackson lunges, and Christian with a go behind, Jackson breaks the grip and slides behind Christian then slams him down hard. Christian slaps Jackson, not a smart move, as Jackson dives for him and Christian slides out. The race is on, and Christian slides back in, and now Christian catches Jackson coming in. Christian nails a baseball slide stunning the big man, than a nice corner dive and follows up sending Jackson back in. Christian off the ropes, and Jackson misses two clotheslines, but Jackson finally catches him and slams Christian. Jackson now unloads on Captain Charisma, as Jackson has slowed the match down, which works for Jackson. Jackson whips Christian in the corner twice, but Christian tries the Killswitch, but Jackson overpowers him, and lift Christian. Christian slides down, and sends Jackson on the ropes, where Christian chokes Jackson. Christian climbs the ropes, and Jackson sweeps his feet out, Christian slides out, and Regal grabs him. The ref catches Regal and ejects him from ringside, well now Jackson can win on his own. Jackson sends Christian headfirst into the stairs, and sends him back in for the cover and gets a near fall. Zeke stomps the champion, and tries to twist his head off now. The crowd solidly behind Christian, but Jackson lifts him with one hand and slams Christian down hard. That looked impressive; this guys a freak of nature. Jackson with a delayed vertical Suplex, and just drives Christian down hard. Christian in the ropes, and Jackson refuses to let up as continues his domination. Christian catches Jackson with a kick, and goes for the sunset flip, but Jackson just lifts and nails Christian with a two handed chokeslam for another near fall. Stryker describes a peep as a yellow marshmallow bird!!! Stryker is the best. Christian finally fires off a few shots on Jackson, but one clothesline to the back of the head takes Christian down again. Zeke with a double arm submission and Christian tries to fight out, as Jackson yells he’s got him. Jackson sets Christian on the top rope, and goes for a superplex, but Christian fights him off and nails a diving forearm, on the big man. Jackson misses a charge in the corner, and Christian with a missile dropkick, as Christian is starting to get some offense, and goes for Killswitch, but Jackson powers out. Jackson goes for a slam, but Christian slides down into a sloppy reverse DDT, and Christian back up top. Christian misses the diving headbutt and Jackson with a huge lariat for a near fall. Jackson is holding his head, wonder if he got hurt from the botched DDT? Jackson readies for the urunage, but Christian fights out and attempts Killswitch, but Jackson counters into a backbreaker for another near fall. Jackson sets Christian in the corner, but misses the charge and Christian nails the spring kick then a tornado DDT for a near fall. Stryker mentions the last time the ECW title changed hands in Atlanta, Vince McMahon won the belt. Yeah, that was a prestigious moment for title belt. Jackson slow to get up, but bulldozes over Christian, for a near fall. Zeke showing signs of frustration, as he picks up Christian, but Christian slides over to Killswitch, countered by Zeke who goes for a belly to back, countered to a sleeper. Zeke just pulls Christian on his shoulder, and slams him into the buckle twice, but on the third try Christian slides down. Christian nails the Killswitch quickly, and rolls the big man over and covers for the surprise win! 3.75/5 a very good match, Zeke continues to amaze, he gets better every week. Very surprised with the win, so where do they go from here? Christian has beaten basically everyone in ECW, so unless the bring someone new, who’s left? And where do they go with big Zeke, I really thought he was going to win and Christian would move to Smackdown. We go backstage to Tiffany and Teddy Long, as Cryme Tyme come in, and say there is two of them and only one can be in the Rumble. Teddy says do what they did last year and flip a coin, Shad says just give us one of the other spots. They said the coerced someone to give up their slot, and in comes Khali. JTG says give up you spot and you can kiss Tiffany, Runjin runs in and interprets, and says Khali says no way. Khali does a great Urkel impression, which was funny. Now we get an American Idol reference, as Miz comes in. Miz says in five year no one will remember what they did, but says no one will forget him winning the Rumble. Teddy says not only will Miz wrestle in the Rumble, but will defend against MVP tonight. We now see Randy Orton in the locker room as Cody comes in, and says he understands what Orton said on RAW. Cody says they knew Randy can beat Sheamus and win the title, and says he will be there for Cody. Randy says thanks, and Cody still standing there, so he asks Cody what’s up. Cody says he can’t say the same for Ted, as Cody says Ted is getting a big head from his movie coming out. Cody stirs the pot by saying Ted talks about winning the Rumble and beating Orton at Wrestlemania, the seeds of Wrestlemania are planted!

2. Miz v. MVP. This was just announced by Teddy Long minutes ago, as Stryker say this isn’t fair and I agree. Although I’m glad we get to see Miz twice, never thought I’d say that. Hated this guy when he debuted, but he’s grown on me. Sadly MVP has gone the opposite way, as I liked him when he debuted, but ever since he turned face he’s gotten as lame and boring as Cena. Maybe one is injured, and needs to be pulled from the Rumble and this is how they explain it? Miz kicks MVP and starts to unload on MVP, but MVP rams Miz in the corner, and MVP uses his speed to avoid Miz. MVP with a quick series of kneelifts, then a nice float over snap Suplex for a quick pin attempt. Miz catches MVP running in, but then gets caught running into a backdrop. Miz tries to bail and almost moons Atlanta, as MVP pulls him back in and nails a belly to back Suplex, and Miz bails. MVP follows and goes after Miz; MVP slams Miz into the ring barricade and tosses him back in the ring. Miz tries to get away, but MVP grabs him, and Miz kicks MVP to the apron then nails him off sending him into the announcer table. Miz quickly follows and stomps MVP, then rams him back first to the ring, before throwing MVP back in. Miz continues to stop MVP, and drops a legdrop, something the Hulkster can’t do anymore! Miz sends MVP to the corner and opens up on him, as the ref pulls him back, Miz rushes in with that cool clothesline he does. Miz climbs the ropes, no good can come from this, but he actually connects with a double ax handle. This has been very good so far, as Miz with a rear chin lock, as Stryker talks about how much this time of year means to him. MVP finally fights back, but Miz with a quick knee and whips MVP in, but Miz gets caught and whipped in. MVP just tosses Miz up and down, then a pair of clotheslines followed by the face breaker. MVP drops the balling elbow on the Miz and readies for the Playmaker. Miz fights off but runs into a Yakuza kick for a near fall, and Miz smartly rolls to the ropes. MVP goes to grab Miz, but gets hung up on the ropes, and Miz runs in but MVP moves and MVP hits the Pounce for a near fall. That reminds me, what the Hell ever happened to Marcus Cor Von? Seriously, he was an awesome athlete, and I really expected big things from him and he dropped off the planet? MVP primed in the corner, as Miz slowly gets up, MVP runs in for the big boot, but Miz moves. Miz quickly goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, but MVP with a nice counter into a roll up for a near fall. Miz runs into backslide for another near fall, then a jackknife for another near fall, and Miz jumps out of the ring. MVP quickly tosses Miz in, but gets caught coming in, as Stryker makes a Badstreet USA reference. Miz rolls up MVP and scores the surprise win! 3.75/5 a great match, as both guys just did some great counter moves, and the end was very Honky Tonk Man like, which is cool. After the match Miz gets in the face of MVP, and MVP nails the Playmaker after the fact. The crowd just turned on MVP as they are booing the hell out of him! Surprisingly the King agrees with Stryker about that being poor sportsmanship, as Cole tries to say it was OK. We see Big Show walking the hall and runs into Chris Jericho, as Show says Jericho is jealous of Show saying he and Miz have more chemistry and Miz is a better tag partner. Jericho says he’s not jealous, but feels sorry for Show, as he describes Miz and sounds like he’s describing himself. Jericho says Miz is using him, and Show say just like Jericho did, as Jericho says he made Show into a Giant Destroyer. Show say he was already a Giant, and Jericho says if it comes down to Show, Miz and Jericho, Show will show where his loyalty lies. Show laughs and says if it comes down to the three of them, he will throw them both out. Suddenly someone says if he doesn’t I will, and it’s the Truth, who says he will throw Jericho out of the Rumble. Jericho says he’ll have to go through Show, but Show’s gone, and Truth says Jericho’s going alone. Now we see Orton in a different hall, as he runs into Ted, who says whatever he needs he’s there. Orton asks where Cody is, and Ted says he doesn’t know and stirs the pot himself. Ted says Cody plans to win the Rumble and face Sheamus, and Orton says he doesn’t want either one helping him tonight. We get a promo for RAW, with William Shatner, and the return of Bret Hart tomorrow night!

3. Randy Orton v. Sheamus. Sheamus really needs a clean win to legitimize his title reign, as right now they’ve booked him worse than any champion in history. I’d love to see Sheamus win, and Kofi win the Rumble and make that our main event for Wrestlemania. But the odds of that happening are slim and none, I expect Orton to win the title here tonight. Sheamus poses in front of Orton, and Orton hasn’t blinked since coming out, and the crowd is behind Orton! They lock up, and Orton to a side headlock, whipped in, and they collide and no one moves, but Orton with a dropkick. Orton slides across the ring like a snake, which looked so cool! Another lockup, and in the ropes, as the ref tries to pull them apart. Sheamus pushes Orton back, and Orton with a kick and an uppercut, but Sheamus back with an Irish hammer, then a unique looking arm breaker on the knee! Orton to the floor and Sheamus follows and continues the offense on the floor, then slams the arm into the steps. Nice idea from Sheamus, if you work the arm he can’t do RKO, as Cole says the same thing. Back in the ring, and Sheamus back on the arm now, as Sheamus goes for the shoulderbreaker, Orton slides down and clips the knee of Sheamus. Orton stomps the knee now, as Sheamus tries to roll out, Orton pulls him back in. Someone yells out “Kick him in the head, Orton”, that was good! Orton continues to twist the leg of the champion, as Sheamus tries to kick Orton off him. Sheamus pulls himself up on the ropes, and rams Orton shoulder first to the ringpost, and does it again. As Orton tries to come out, Sheamus drives a shoulder into Orton, as both guys have injured limbs now! Sheamus runs in, and Orton gets the knee up, and goes back to the knee of the Celtic Warrior! Orton slides out and rams the knee into the ring apron, then into the ring post as Orton is relentless. Sheamus falls out of the ring, as Randy slides back in to break the count. Orton goes out to throw Sheamus in, as the Randy chants get louder! Orton stands over Sheamus now, and kicks him in the ribs. Sheamus fights back, and nails a flying hammerlock takedown and goes to a vicious looking armbar. Sheamus yanks the arm, and drives a knee in the head of Orton at the same time, Orton slowly fights his way up, but Sheamus keeps readjusting and keeps the hold on. Orton finally breaks free, and both men are slugging it out, and Orton kicks Sheamus and whips him in, but countered into a vile backbreaker on the viper for a near fall. Sheamus lifts Orton into the Celtic Cross, but Orton fights out and nails the knee and kicks Sheamus in the head sending the Champion to the floor. Sheamus slowly pulls himself up, and Orton springs into the rope assisted DDT, I love that move, as we get a near fall, but Sheamus was able to grab the rope! Randy stands over the Champion now, as Sheamus slowly tries to get up, Orton readies for the punt. Sheamus wisely rolls out, and the crowd boos, as Orton follows and continues the offense, but gets tosses into the ringpost twice! Sheamus tosses Orton in, and suddenly Cody Rhodes jumps Sheamus from behind, as the ref and Sheamus are distracted, Sheamus turns around into the RKO, as the bell rings. 3.75/5 was shaping up to be a great match, but that was a crappy ending. Sheamus title reign is becoming a worse joke then Booker T or Chris Jericho’s. The referee is with the announcer, who says the winner by DQ is Sheamus. Well, that sucked what a cop-out finish that was. Rhodes on the apron apologizing to Orton, who has a vicious look, as Rhodes makes a big mistake coming in the ring. The crowd is chanting RKO, and Orton just pops Cody and yells he screwed everything up, as Ted slides in the ring and pulls Orton off. Orton nails DiBiase as well now, and starts to scream at both of them, and stomps them. Sheamus is up behind Orton, and Orton turns around into the pumpkick! Sheamus grabs his title and leaves the ring, still the paper champion, as Cody and Ted leave the ring, while Orton is still out in the ring. We now get the recap of horseface and Mickie James.

4. Mickie James v. Michelle McCool. Mickie had better win this match, and end this feud, seriously after all the crap Mickie has been put through. Great horseface has the microphone; she has the worst voice ever, worse than Vickie Guerrero even. Horseface claims Mickie is nowhere to be found tonight, as she does her usual lame ass fat jokes. Out comes Layla in the fat suit again; suddenly out comes Mickie who just lays out Layla. I hope she breaks that fire buzzard in two, and hopefully gets rid of that overrated Diva Search failure for good. Mickie goes after Layla, after the bell, and Michelle charges in and nails Layla with a big boot accidentally. Mickie kicks horseface and nails the DDT for the win!!!! DUD didn’t even make a full minute, but I don’t give a damn! Mickie has the title that she deserves, and looks great with it! Mickie nails Layla with a chick kick, knocking her on top of horseface, as we see Maria, Bella Twins, Gail, Kelly, and Eve bring out a cake. Maria hands the cake to Mickie, as the others hold horseface and Layla, and they ram the cake into horseface, that made the whole PPV for me. So happy to see Mickie regain the title, which was great! Hope we never see the fire buzzard again. After the replay we see the girls laughing at horseface, who’s in the ring crying! We now get a promo for the new Elimination Chamber PPV, and then see Rey getting ready for his title shot. This is going to be a bad match.

5. Undertaker v. Rey Mysterio. Rey uses his speed to get Undertaker in the corner, but Undertaker heaves Rey over the top rope with ease. Rey slowly climbs the steps, and comes back in the ring, and catches Undertaker coming at him, but Rey gets caught trying a springboard as Undertaker punches Rey to the floor. Undertaker follows and hammers Rey’s back, and tosses Rey back in then does the boot to the head of Rey. Undertaker goes for the legdrop, but Rey moves, and Undertaker was ready for it and nails it on the second try. Undertaker comes back in, as Rey is in trouble early, Undertaker readies for the chokeslam. Rey counters into a headscissor, and goes for 619, countered to a tombstone, but Rey slides out. Undertaker misses the elbow drop, but catches Rey coming off the ropes with a big boot. Undertaker stalks Rey, who slides out, and Undertaker follows, and hits the big boot on Rey. Rey staggers back up, and eats a third big boot, and Rey slowly gets up, and Undertaker goes for the forth boot, but Rey moves and Undertaker hits the post. Rey baseball slides the knee of Undertaker into the post, Rey dives off the apron for the senton, but Undertaker catches him in a powerbomb position. Rey jumps to the apron and hits an Asai Moonsault on Undertaker, who’s bleeding from the mouth, quick call the doctor. Rey slides into the hand of Undertaker who throws Rey into the barricade hard and Undertaker tosses Rey in the ring, as Lawler mentions the blood of the Undertaker. Undertaker lifts Rey up by the arm and tosses him into the ropes, as Undertaker has blood all over his mouth area now. Rey is in the corner, and Undertaker starts to level him with the punches, then Undertaker whips Rey in and catches him in the sideslam for a near fall. Undertaker lifts up Rey by the mask, and Rey starts to fight back with a series of kicks, but one right hand from Undertaker knocks Rey to the mat. Undertaker picks up Rey, but Rey with a quick headbutt, and catches Undertaker coming in the corner, and nails a reverse DDT on the champion. Undertaker quickly sits up, and Rey nails a low drop kick, then a springboard legdrop for a near fall! Undertaker catches Rey off the ropes with a huge clothesline, and readies for the Last Ride. Rey goes up, but slides down Undertaker and sets up the 619. Rey hits the 619, and then a springboard dropkick, sets up a second 619, then goes for the West Coast Pop. Undertaker catches Rey and nails the Last Ride for the win! 3/5 better than expected, but seriously Rey had no chance in Hell of winning the watch. Still not a bad match and the double 619 was kind of cool to see. We now go to Shawn Michaels backstage, as Kane walks in and says Shawn obsession with Undertaker is unhealthy. Kane says he has faced Undertaker twice at Wrestlemania, and whatever vision Shawn has, in the end there is no light, only the darkness. Kane leaves as HHH comes in, and says that probably wasn’t a pep talk. Triple H wishes Shawn luck, and Shawn apologizes for stepping on HHH’s dream of winning. They shake hands, and Shawn pulls HHH back and says he and Undertaker is meant to be. HHH says he knows it us, and that’s why he knows Shawn will find another way.

6. 30 Man Royal Rumble. Drawing numbers one and two respectively are Dolph Ziggler & Evan Bourne. The both look up at the Wrestlemania banner, and the Rumble is off and running. Dolph gets caught by a Hurricanrana, then a mule kick. Dolph rams Bourne in the corner, and a dropkick almost eliminates Bourne but he holds the ropes. Ziggler whips Bourne in, but he comes back with the double knee. Bourne with another Hurricanrana, and both men almost out. As Bourne pulls himself up, Ziggler nails the Zig Zag and tosses Bourne, but Bourne lands on the apron and hits a big kick. Bourne follows with the Air Bourne as #3 comes out, CM Punk with Serena. Punk takes down Bourne with a series of clotheslines, but misses the kick, and lands near Ziggler. Bourne runs in and Punk moves, Bourne and Ziggler collide heads, Punk tosses both men out, Bourne first then Ziggler. Serena passes the mic to Punk, who starts his sermon, as the timer counts down, bringing out #4 JTG, as Punk says “It’s Clobbering Time”, channeling his inner Thing. JTG starts out quickly on Punk, and gets Punk in the corner, JTG runs at Punk and lands on the ropes. Punk casually lifts JTG up and over for his third elimination, and now back to your previously scheduled sermon, as the clock counts down. #5 comes out, and its The Great Khali, Punk’s a dead man now! Punk gets Khali his hand for the prayer and the hand quickly comes down on Punk’s head. Great Khali locks in the head vice on CM Punk as the timer runs out, and #6 comes out, Beth Phoenix! Seriously, Beth, that’s awesome. Beth charges down the aisle, and gets in the face of Khali, as she’s face to chest with the Giant. Khali scoops up Beth and drops her on the apron and tells her to leave, Beth responds with a kiss, and pulls Khali out!!! She then clotheslines CM Punk now, and lifts him on her shoulders, but he slides down and gets her up. Punk nails her with the GTS, and out comes #7 Zack Ryder, as Punk tosses out Phoenix. Punk has the microphone again, he says Zack has potential to join the Straight Edge, but then nails Ryder with the microphone. Punk with a short arm clothesline and tosses Ryder with ease, as the crowd is behind CM Punk, and we see Beth being helped to the back. Punk is bleeding from his mouth, as he says whose next and he’s better then whoever it is. Well, that’ll just bring out the Game, as number #8 comes out, and I was right it’s the Game. CM Punk says it’s my time now, and indeed it is, as HHH gets in the ring and they get nose to nose. Could do that with HHH still in the aisle, just saying is all. Triple H hits the facebuster on Punk, as Serena screams for the savior. Punk nails the corner knee, but HHH avoids the bulldog and HHH hits a spinebuster as #9, Drew McIntyre comes out. Drew takes his time to come to the ring, as HHH is pounding Punk in the corner. Drew finally comes in, and HHH hits the vintage high knee, but Punk catches HHH in the GTS, but HHH grabs the leg and tosses out CM Punk. Drew nails a back elbow on HHH, as the refs are trying to get Punk to leave. Drew rams HHH in the corner, as #10 comes out and it’s Ted DiBiase, who charges in the ring and eats a big clothesline from the Game. Triple H charges at DiBiase, who catches him in a scoop slam, and now it’s a double team on HHH, as Ted & Drew work over HHH in the corner. I expect #11 to be John Morrison, since Drew’s in there, as DiBiase drops the fist repeatedly on HHH, as #11 comes out, and I was right. JoMo runs to the ring, and goes right at DiBiase, as Morrison hits a nice kick, then sweeps the legs out of Drew and pounds him. Drew whips him in and goes for the side slam, countered into the headscissor takedown, but Ted jumps JoMo from behind. The Game tries to pull himself up, as Ted attempts Dream Street on JoMo, but JoMo counters with a big kick, then nails Starship Pain on Drew, as #12 comes out. HHH nails JoMo, and out comes the Big Red Machine, and he comes in from the top rope and nails HHH with the flying lariat. Kane opens up on all four men in the ring, as Stryker calls Kane, Undertaker’s Baby Brother, that’s just funny. Kane with a double chokeslam on Morrison and Drew, then HHH eats a big boot. Kane lifts up DiBiase, but Drew nails Kane, but Kane comes back with the chokeslam on Drew. #13 comes out, and it’s the other half of Legacy, Cody Rhodes, who saves DiBiase from Kane. Legacy double teams Kane, and now Rhodes nails the Game and Drew, but JoMo catches him. JoMo back dropped to the apron, but springboards back in, unfortunately for John right into Cody’s dropkick. Legacy back on Kane, but The Game goes after Rhodes. Everyone pairs off as #14 comes out, MVP, but he gets attacked in the aisle by Miz. Miz nails MVP with the US title and leaves him lying in the aisle, as the refs come out to stop Miz. Drew and Kane slugging it out, as Cody and HHH going at it. JoMo hits the Flying Chuck on Drew, as Legacy almost have the Game out, we see MVP being helped to the back. Kane levels JoMo and then attacks Legacy, as #15 comes out, Carlito, yeah, good luck Carlito. Carlito dropkicks Triple H, nails Kane, and then back elbows both Legacy members. Drew whips Carlito in the corner where John is, and Carlito monkey flips JoMo out. Carlito nails a high knee on Carlito, then a backstabber for HHH, Drew and DiBiase, as #16 comes out. The Miz runs down the aisle, and nails Carlito with the Skull Crushing Finale then goes for Morrison. Suddenly MVP charges the ring, and clotheslines Miz over the top, but MVP goes with him and both are now out. Legacy almost has HHH out, while Drew is upside down from JoMo, but everyone still safe. HHH tosses Carlito, but he holds the ropes, and Triple stomps him, as the clock runs down again. #17 comes out, and it’s Matt Hardy!! Matt nails a Twist of Fate on Drew, and a Side Effect on Rhodes. Ted whips Matt in, Matt to the second rope, and Kane shoves him out, but the Triple H knocks out Kane, as we have two quick eliminations. Triple H nails everyone with a spinebuster, and stands over everyone. Game goes for Pedigree on Cody, but Drew from behind and now it’s four on one as #18 comes out. It’s Shawn Michaels, and Carlito charges at Shawn, and out comes Carlito. Cody tossed out and DiBiase joins Cody as Shawn turns his attention on Drew now. Shawn nails the flying forearm, and nips up, but JoMo goes for the Flying Chuck, but Shawn ducks and out goes Morrison. We’re down to D-X and Drew, and D-X are pummeling Drew, then they double team Drew over the top, and it’s down to D-X as #19 joins the battle, and it’s Cena. The crowd erupts, as the human pylon comes out, and we have the three main guys on RAW. Cena takes down both members of DX, lifts HHH for the side Suplex, and HHH’s feet nail Shawn, and Cena drops HHH on Shawn. Cena nails a cheesy looking double fistdrop, and then lifts Shawn on his shoulders. Triple H nails Cena, and hits the pedigree, but when he gets up, Shawn nails HHH with Sweet Chin Music eliminating the Game as Shelton Benjamin comes in at #20. Shelton takes it to both Cena and Shawn now, not that Shelton stands a chance. Shelton with a German Suplex on Cena, and follows with Paydirt on Shawn, as Shelton readies to nail Cena. Shelton goes for Paydirt, and Cena counters by tossing out Shelton now, as we’re back down to Cena and Shawn. I hate these quick eliminations, even though it makes it easier to type! #21 comes out, and it’s Yoshi Tatsu, Yoshi nails Cena with a series of kicks, and nails Shawn with a rolling move then a kick. Yoshi goes for the kick on Cena, but Cena avoids and eliminates Tatsu, thanks for coming out Yoshi. No one will stay long with these until we get Show, Jericho or Batista. Both men are down now, and Cena first man up hammers Shawn in the corner as #22 is none other than the Big Show! Show takes both men down with a headbutt, and whips Shawn in, then lifts Shawn and drops him on the apron, as Cena tries to help eliminate Show. Show lifts Shawn up, but Cena holds him up and goes for FU, but Shawn slides off and goes for Sweet Chin Music, but Cena moves and tosses Shawn to the apron. Show nails Cena, and goes for Shawn, but Shawn pulls himself up, so Show tosses Shawn across the ring. Show stands over Shawn and Cena now, as the clock runs down for our next man. #23 is Mark Henry, and we have the World’s Strongest Man and the World’s Largest Athlete in the ring, and they are face to face. Show shoves Mark, and Mark fires back, Mark goes for a slam, but Show slides out and nails Henry to the ground. Cena hits the flying shoulder and Henry with a headbutt, shoulder from Cena and a big slam for Henry. Cena catches Henry on his shoulders, but Henry shifts his weight and lands on Cena. Show with a spear on Henry as #24 comes out, and it’s the Masterpiece. Masters presses Shawn up and drops him. Masters goes for the Masterlock on Show, but Show just lifts Masters over his shoulder to the mat. Henry lifts Show, and both men are wobbling on the ropes, as #25 is R-Truth. R-Truth comes in, and eliminates both Show and Henry by catching them of balance. That was impressive! Truth now works over Cena and hits the ax kick, but Shawn chops Truth. Truth nails the Stroke on Cena, and yells “What’s Up! King says R-Truth could win the Rumble; yeah he has as much chance as Jack Swagger! Just saying is all. Truth has Shawn on the ropes, as #26 joins the battle, and it’s Jack Swagger! Swagger has the best look, as he runs to the ring, and hits the bouncy elbow on Cena and Shawn, then snap Suplexes Cena and one for Shawn too. Swagger picks up Truth and rams him in the corner, as he nails a nice Oklahoma Stampede, shades of the late great Dr. Death Steve Williams! That was a nice little tribute from Swagger! Shawn chops Swagger in the corner, and whips Swagger in, but gets caught with his head down. Swagger clotheslines Shawn to the apron, but Shawn able to get back in, as #27 comes out and it’s Kofi Kingston. Kofi is the man who should win this, as he enters from the top and nails Swagger. Kofi takes down Swagger and hits the Boom Drop, then runs at Swagger, but Swagger lifts up Kofi, but Kofi able to headscissor Swagger out! Shawn goes right at Kofi, but Kofi with a nice dropkick. Kofi catches Truth in the corner, but Truth tosses Kofi over, however Kofi lands on the apron and pulls Truth out with his legs. That looked really cool, actually, as Chris Jericho comes it at #29. Jericho opens up quickly on Shawn, Cena and Kofi, but focuses on Cena. Cena nails the FU on Jericho, nice he just came in and gets hit with Cena’s finisher. Shawn climbs the ropes and drops an elbow on Jericho, and readies for Sweet Chin Music. Kofi cuts off the band with a little Trouble in Paradise knocking Shawn down. Cena catches Kofi and eliminates Kingston, which really pisses me off. I hate Cena, seriously, why does he feel the need to be like D-X and bury people? Number 29 is coming out, and it’s EDGE!!! Holy Shit!! It’s freaking Edge!! This is now the greatest Rumble ever, as Tony Schiavonte would say! So happy to see the Rated R Superstar back, unlike Jericho who’s shocked. This places has erupted, probably the loudest they’ve been all night. Edge spears Jericho, Michaels and then Cena. Edge tosses Jericho with ease now, and then takes down Shawn. Cena catches Edge and goes for the FU, but countered into the Impaler!!! Edge stomps on Cena, as Shawn chops Edge from behind, and Edge lifts Shawn as #30 comes out. Batista runs to the ring and nails Edge with a Spinebuster, then clotheslines Cena and Shawn. Cena gets nailed with a spinebuster, but Batista turns into a spear from Edge, however Edge turns into a FU from Cena and everyone is down. Shawn chops Cena in the ropes, and whips Shawn in; Shawn comes back with the flying forearm. Shawn slams Cena and Batista, then climbs the ropes and drops the elbow on Cena. Shawn with an enziguri on Batista and another diving elbow, this time on Batista. Shawn readies the band, and hits Sweet Chin Music on Cena and Batista. Edge clothesline Shawn, and both men tumble to the apron. Shawn superkicks Edge sending him back in the ring and Batista clobbers Shawn from behind and Shawn has been eliminated. Shawn is having a major meltdown at ringside, as Stryker says everyone wanted to see Undertaker and Shawn at Wrestlemania, not everyone Matt. The ref is trying to get Shawn to leave, and Shawn is about to cry. Shawn refusing to leave tosses the ref into the announce table and slides back in. Another ref is yelling at Shawn to leave, and Shawn hits Sweet Chin Music on the ref now. Shawn drops to the mat in a sitting position, holding his head, as another ref comes in. Shawn is losing his mind quickly here, as he finally leaves ringside, as Batista smirks. Shawn screams as he heads to the back, and we’re down to three, Batista, Edge and John Cena. One of these is not like the other! Edge is the unlikely one in there, as I can see either Batista or Cena win, and face either Undertaker or Sheamus, respectively at Wrestlemania. Batista nails Cena and goes for the Batista Bomb, but Cena backdrops out and lifts up Batista for the FU. Batista slides down and nails Cena into the ropes, Batista charges into Cena, but Cena drops down and Batista tumbles to the floor. This leaves my favorite and least favorite, Edge and Cena, damn. I have a bad feeling about this for Edge. Edge readies to spear Cena, as Edge’s rocking on the ropes. Cena slowly pulls himself up, and Edge charges, but Cena moves and kicks Edge. Cena charges at Edge, and Edge sidesteps Cena and sends Cena out! Edge wins the Royal Rumble!!!!!!!! Holy shit, this just made the entire PPV for me! Ok, I’m marking out like a five year old but who cares! Edge beats all three superegos to win!! 4/5 not the best Rumble, which was 92’s, but the return and win of Edge makes up for it! What a great way to end the PPV! On this day, I see clearly, the great one goes to Wrestlemania!!! Edge soaks in the screams of the crowd as the pyro goes off for the 2010 Royal Rumble winner!

Match Recap

1. Christian pinned Ezekiel Jackson 3.75/5
2. Miz beat MVP 3.75/5
3. Sheamus beat Randy Orton by DQ 3.75/5
4. Mickie James destroyed Michelle “horseface” McCool DUD
5. Undertaker beat Rey Mysterio 3/5
6. EDGE won the Royal Rumble 4/5

A very impressive PPV, as even the worst match was good for its own reasons. I still don’t understand the Zeke/Christian match, as I don’t where they will go from here. Who’s left for Christian to face. Oh crap, I just had a horrible thought. Edge can face any champion, I have a bad feeling he’s going to go for the ECW title and face Christian! The Miz/MVP match was very good, and the Sheamus/Orton match was good till the end. Sheamus needs some clean wins soon, or he’s going to be the most forgotten champion since Stan Stasiak. The Women’s match was short, but I don’t care, as Mickie won and that is all that matters. Hopefully we never see McCool again. The Undertaker/Rey match was ok, but nothing spectacular. The Rumble itself was very good, but the quick eliminations were dumb, as was Beth in the Rumble, but as I said seeing Edge return and win made up for it. All in all a very good show.

Royal Rumble Entrants
1. Dolph Ziggler
2. Evan Bourne
3. CM Punk
4. JTG
5. The Great Khali
6. Beth Phoenix
7. Zack Ryder
8. Triple H
9. Drew McIntyre
10. Ted DiBiase
11. John Morrison
12. Kane
13. Cody Rhodes
14. MVP
15. Carlito
16. Miz
17. Matt Hardy
18. Shawn Michaels
19. John Cena
20. Shelton Benjamin
21. Yoshi Tatsu
22. Big Show
23. Mark Henry
24. Chris Masters
25. R-Truth
26. Jack Swagger
27. Kofi Kingston
28. Chris Jericho
29. EDGE
30. Batista

Royal Rumble Eliminations
1. Evan Bourne by CM Punk
2. Dolph Ziggler by CM Punk
3. JTG by CM Punk
4. Great Khali by Beth Phoenix
5. Beth Phoenix by CM Punk
6. Zack Ryder by CM Punk
7. CM Punk by Triple H
8. Miz by MVP
9. MVP went over with Miz
10. Matt Hardy by Kane
11. Kane by Triple H
12. Carlito by Shawn Michaels
13. Cody Rhodes by Shawn Michaels
14. Ted DiBiase by Shawn Michaels
15. John Morrison by Shawn Michaels
16. Drew McIntyre by D-X
17. Triple H by Shawn Michaels
18. Shelton Benjamin by John Cena
19. Yoshi Tatsu by John Cena
20. Chris Masters by Big Show
21. Mark Henry by R-Truth
22. Big Show by R-Truth
23. Jack Swagger by Kofi Kingston
24. R-Truth by Kofi Kingston
25. Kofi Kingston by John Cena
26. Chris Jericho by Edge
27. Shawn Michaels by Batista
28. Batista by John Cena
29. John Cena by EDGE!!!!!!!

Royal Rumble 2010 – January 31, 2010

It’s hard to believe it’s been 22 years since the original Royal Rumble, which was from Hamilton, Ontario and aired on the USA Network not PPV. The Royal Rumble has always been my favorite PPV of the year, even over Wrestlemania, as anything can happen and we usual get some really good moments. Past winners of the Royal Rumble have included Big John Studd, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Chris Benoit, Shawn Michaels, Hulk Hogan and many more. The Royal Rumble used to be anyone can win match, but that was changed in 1993 when it became the winner goes to Wrestlemania. This was supposed to make the match more exciting, but personally that kind of ruined it for me. The reason is simple, before anyone could win; now it’s basically a core group of 5 or 6 that have a chance, and everyone else is basically fodder. The Rumble is not without its history though, as we’ve seen some amazing moments including the title win of Ric Flair, the debut of Giant Gonzales, and the returns of both Triple H and John Cena. Tonight at the Royal Rumble we have not only the 30 man classic, but four big title matches. Mickie James, the hottest diva ever, challenges the fire buzzard for the Women’s title. After months of torment from the buzzard and her little friend, tonight Mickie goes for redemption. The big man, Ezekiel Jackson challenges Captain Charisma Christian, for the ECW title. Can the massive Jackson topple the long reigning king of the land of extreme, or will Zeke fall from grace? Sheamus has run roughshod over the entire RAW roster since coming from ECW in October, and scored a huge win over John Cena for the title. Tonight Sheamus faces his toughest challenge, in the viper Randy Orton, in a rare battle between the two most hated men on RAW. Finally Undertaker faces the human mosquito, Rey Mysterio. Will Rey give the Undertaker malaria, or can the Dead Man squash Mysterio? All this tonight, live from Atlanta, GA! Let’s start the 2010 Royal Rumble!
We open the show with a nice video package showing tonight starts the road to Wrestlemania. The video asks who will be the one, is that foreshadowing that number one will one? We get the quick recaps of Randy/Sheamus and Undertaker/Rey. Way to show no respect for the ECW and Women’s title. We see some of the eliminations for last year, as the video asking again who will be the one. Michael Cole welcomes us to the 23rd Royal Rumble, from Atlanta, GA and sends it to Savannah. That’s the match I assumed would be the opener.

1. Christian v. Ezekiel Jackson. I knew this would be the opening match, as neither World title would be an opener and you can’t start with the woman. I assume next is the RAW title, then Women’s, then Smackdown and finally the Rumble. Michael Cole introduces us to the announce team tonight which includes himself (damn), Jerry Lawler (damn again) and Matt Stryker. Well one out of three, but then again who else do they have? All this goes on, while Christian is introduced, and instead of showing the champ we see the announcers. As I said, no respect for ECW whatsoever. Ezekiel Jackson comes out with William Regal; did I say how nice Savannah looks? Just saying is all. The Mad Hatter from Blackpool? OK, that was a different description for Bill Regal. After his accidental nudity a while back, I call him Wee Willie Winkle! Just saying is all. The bell rings and they lock up, and Zeke overpowers Christian, with ease. Cole is going over the stats of Jackson, as they make him sound like Andre. Jackson lunges, and Christian with a go behind, Jackson breaks the grip and slides behind Christian then slams him down hard. Christian slaps Jackson, not a smart move, as Jackson dives for him and Christian slides out. The race is on, and Christian slides back in, and now Christian catches Jackson coming in. Christian nails a baseball slide stunning the big man, than a nice corner dive and follows up sending Jackson back in. Christian off the ropes, and Jackson misses two clotheslines, but Jackson finally catches him and slams Christian. Jackson now unloads on Captain Charisma, as Jackson has slowed the match down, which works for Jackson. Jackson whips Christian in the corner twice, but Christian tries the Killswitch, but Jackson overpowers him, and lift Christian. Christian slides down, and sends Jackson on the ropes, where Christian chokes Jackson. Christian climbs the ropes, and Jackson sweeps his feet out, Christian slides out, and Regal grabs him. The ref catches Regal and ejects him from ringside, well now Jackson can win on his own. Jackson sends Christian headfirst into the stairs, and sends him back in for the cover and gets a near fall. Zeke stomps the champion, and tries to twist his head off now. The crowd solidly behind Christian, but Jackson lifts him with one hand and slams Christian down hard. That looked impressive; this guys a freak of nature. Jackson with a delayed vertical Suplex, and just drives Christian down hard. Christian in the ropes, and Jackson refuses to let up as continues his domination. Christian catches Jackson with a kick, and goes for the sunset flip, but Jackson just lifts and nails Christian with a two handed chokeslam for another near fall. Stryker describes a peep as a yellow marshmallow bird!!! Stryker is the best. Christian finally fires off a few shots on Jackson, but one clothesline to the back of the head takes Christian down again. Zeke with a double arm submission and Christian tries to fight out, as Jackson yells he’s got him. Jackson sets Christian on the top rope, and goes for a superplex, but Christian fights him off and nails a diving forearm, on the big man. Jackson misses a charge in the corner, and Christian with a missile dropkick, as Christian is starting to get some offense, and goes for Killswitch, but Jackson powers out. Jackson goes for a slam, but Christian slides down into a sloppy reverse DDT, and Christian back up top. Christian misses the diving headbutt and Jackson with a huge lariat for a near fall. Jackson is holding his head, wonder if he got hurt from the botched DDT? Jackson readies for the urunage, but Christian fights out and attempts Killswitch, but Jackson counters into a backbreaker for another near fall. Jackson sets Christian in the corner, but misses the charge and Christian nails the spring kick then a tornado DDT for a near fall. Stryker mentions the last time the ECW title changed hands in Atlanta, Vince McMahon won the belt. Yeah, that was a prestigious moment for title belt. Jackson slow to get up, but bulldozes over Christian, for a near fall. Zeke showing signs of frustration, as he picks up Christian, but Christian slides over to Killswitch, countered by Zeke who goes for a belly to back, countered to a sleeper. Zeke just pulls Christian on his shoulder, and slams him into the buckle twice, but on the third try Christian slides down. Christian nails the Killswitch quickly, and rolls the big man over and covers for the surprise win! 3.75/5 a very good match, Zeke continues to amaze, he gets better every week. Very surprised with the win, so where do they go from here? Christian has beaten basically everyone in ECW, so unless the bring someone new, who’s left? And where do they go with big Zeke, I really thought he was going to win and Christian would move to Smackdown. We go backstage to Tiffany and Teddy Long, as Cryme Tyme come in, and say there is two of them and only one can be in the Rumble. Teddy says do what they did last year and flip a coin, Shad says just give us one of the other spots. They said the coerced someone to give up their slot, and in comes Khali. JTG says give up you spot and you can kiss Tiffany, Runjin runs in and interprets, and says Khali says no way. Khali does a great Urkel impression, which was funny. Now we get an American Idol reference, as Miz comes in. Miz says in five year no one will remember what they did, but says no one will forget him winning the Rumble. Teddy says not only will Miz wrestle in the Rumble, but will defend against MVP tonight. We now see Randy Orton in the locker room as Cody comes in, and says he understands what Orton said on RAW. Cody says they knew Randy can beat Sheamus and win the title, and says he will be there for Cody. Randy says thanks, and Cody still standing there, so he asks Cody what’s up. Cody says he can’t say the same for Ted, as Cody says Ted is getting a big head from his movie coming out. Cody stirs the pot by saying Ted talks about winning the Rumble and beating Orton at Wrestlemania, the seeds of Wrestlemania are planted!

2. Miz v. MVP. This was just announced by Teddy Long minutes ago, as Stryker say this isn’t fair and I agree. Although I’m glad we get to see Miz twice, never thought I’d say that. Hated this guy when he debuted, but he’s grown on me. Sadly MVP has gone the opposite way, as I liked him when he debuted, but ever since he turned face he’s gotten as lame and boring as Cena. Maybe one is injured, and needs to be pulled from the Rumble and this is how they explain it? Miz kicks MVP and starts to unload on MVP, but MVP rams Miz in the corner, and MVP uses his speed to avoid Miz. MVP with a quick series of kneelifts, then a nice float over snap Suplex for a quick pin attempt. Miz catches MVP running in, but then gets caught running into a backdrop. Miz tries to bail and almost moons Atlanta, as MVP pulls him back in and nails a belly to back Suplex, and Miz bails. MVP follows and goes after Miz; MVP slams Miz into the ring barricade and tosses him back in the ring. Miz tries to get away, but MVP grabs him, and Miz kicks MVP to the apron then nails him off sending him into the announcer table. Miz quickly follows and stomps MVP, then rams him back first to the ring, before throwing MVP back in. Miz continues to stop MVP, and drops a legdrop, something the Hulkster can’t do anymore! Miz sends MVP to the corner and opens up on him, as the ref pulls him back, Miz rushes in with that cool clothesline he does. Miz climbs the ropes, no good can come from this, but he actually connects with a double ax handle. This has been very good so far, as Miz with a rear chin lock, as Stryker talks about how much this time of year means to him. MVP finally fights back, but Miz with a quick knee and whips MVP in, but Miz gets caught and whipped in. MVP just tosses Miz up and down, then a pair of clotheslines followed by the face breaker. MVP drops the balling elbow on the Miz and readies for the Playmaker. Miz fights off but runs into a Yakuza kick for a near fall, and Miz smartly rolls to the ropes. MVP goes to grab Miz, but gets hung up on the ropes, and Miz runs in but MVP moves and MVP hits the Pounce for a near fall. That reminds me, what the Hell ever happened to Marcus Cor Von? Seriously, he was an awesome athlete, and I really expected big things from him and he dropped off the planet? MVP primed in the corner, as Miz slowly gets up, MVP runs in for the big boot, but Miz moves. Miz quickly goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, but MVP with a nice counter into a roll up for a near fall. Miz runs into backslide for another near fall, then a jackknife for another near fall, and Miz jumps out of the ring. MVP quickly tosses Miz in, but gets caught coming in, as Stryker makes a Badstreet USA reference. Miz rolls up MVP and scores the surprise win! 3.75/5 a great match, as both guys just did some great counter moves, and the end was very Honky Tonk Man like, which is cool. After the match Miz gets in the face of MVP, and MVP nails the Playmaker after the fact. The crowd just turned on MVP as they are booing the hell out of him! Surprisingly the King agrees with Stryker about that being poor sportsmanship, as Cole tries to say it was OK. We see Big Show walking the hall and runs into Chris Jericho, as Show says Jericho is jealous of Show saying he and Miz have more chemistry and Miz is a better tag partner. Jericho says he’s not jealous, but feels sorry for Show, as he describes Miz and sounds like he’s describing himself. Jericho says Miz is using him, and Show say just like Jericho did, as Jericho says he made Show into a Giant Destroyer. Show say he was already a Giant, and Jericho says if it comes down to Show, Miz and Jericho, Show will show where his loyalty lies. Show laughs and says if it comes down to the three of them, he will throw them both out. Suddenly someone says if he doesn’t I will, and it’s the Truth, who says he will throw Jericho out of the Rumble. Jericho says he’ll have to go through Show, but Show’s gone, and Truth says Jericho’s going alone. Now we see Orton in a different hall, as he runs into Ted, who says whatever he needs he’s there. Orton asks where Cody is, and Ted says he doesn’t know and stirs the pot himself. Ted says Cody plans to win the Rumble and face Sheamus, and Orton says he doesn’t want either one helping him tonight. We get a promo for RAW, with William Shatner, and the return of Bret Hart tomorrow night!

3. Randy Orton v. Sheamus. Sheamus really needs a clean win to legitimize his title reign, as right now they’ve booked him worse than any champion in history. I’d love to see Sheamus win, and Kofi win the Rumble and make that our main event for Wrestlemania. But the odds of that happening are slim and none, I expect Orton to win the title here tonight. Sheamus poses in front of Orton, and Orton hasn’t blinked since coming out, and the crowd is behind Orton! They lock up, and Orton to a side headlock, whipped in, and they collide and no one moves, but Orton with a dropkick. Orton slides across the ring like a snake, which looked so cool! Another lockup, and in the ropes, as the ref tries to pull them apart. Sheamus pushes Orton back, and Orton with a kick and an uppercut, but Sheamus back with an Irish hammer, then a unique looking arm breaker on the knee! Orton to the floor and Sheamus follows and continues the offense on the floor, then slams the arm into the steps. Nice idea from Sheamus, if you work the arm he can’t do RKO, as Cole says the same thing. Back in the ring, and Sheamus back on the arm now, as Sheamus goes for the shoulderbreaker, Orton slides down and clips the knee of Sheamus. Orton stomps the knee now, as Sheamus tries to roll out, Orton pulls him back in. Someone yells out “Kick him in the head, Orton”, that was good! Orton continues to twist the leg of the champion, as Sheamus tries to kick Orton off him. Sheamus pulls himself up on the ropes, and rams Orton shoulder first to the ringpost, and does it again. As Orton tries to come out, Sheamus drives a shoulder into Orton, as both guys have injured limbs now! Sheamus runs in, and Orton gets the knee up, and goes back to the knee of the Celtic Warrior! Orton slides out and rams the knee into the ring apron, then into the ring post as Orton is relentless. Sheamus falls out of the ring, as Randy slides back in to break the count. Orton goes out to throw Sheamus in, as the Randy chants get louder! Orton stands over Sheamus now, and kicks him in the ribs. Sheamus fights back, and nails a flying hammerlock takedown and goes to a vicious looking armbar. Sheamus yanks the arm, and drives a knee in the head of Orton at the same time, Orton slowly fights his way up, but Sheamus keeps readjusting and keeps the hold on. Orton finally breaks free, and both men are slugging it out, and Orton kicks Sheamus and whips him in, but countered into a vile backbreaker on the viper for a near fall. Sheamus lifts Orton into the Celtic Cross, but Orton fights out and nails the knee and kicks Sheamus in the head sending the Champion to the floor. Sheamus slowly pulls himself up, and Orton springs into the rope assisted DDT, I love that move, as we get a near fall, but Sheamus was able to grab the rope! Randy stands over the Champion now, as Sheamus slowly tries to get up, Orton readies for the punt. Sheamus wisely rolls out, and the crowd boos, as Orton follows and continues the offense, but gets tosses into the ringpost twice! Sheamus tosses Orton in, and suddenly Cody Rhodes jumps Sheamus from behind, as the ref and Sheamus are distracted, Sheamus turns around into the RKO, as the bell rings. 3.75/5 was shaping up to be a great match, but that was a crappy ending. Sheamus title reign is becoming a worse joke then Booker T or Chris Jericho’s. The referee is with the announcer, who says the winner by DQ is Sheamus. Well, that sucked what a cop-out finish that was. Rhodes on the apron apologizing to Orton, who has a vicious look, as Rhodes makes a big mistake coming in the ring. The crowd is chanting RKO, and Orton just pops Cody and yells he screwed everything up, as Ted slides in the ring and pulls Orton off. Orton nails DiBiase as well now, and starts to scream at both of them, and stomps them. Sheamus is up behind Orton, and Orton turns around into the pumpkick! Sheamus grabs his title and leaves the ring, still the paper champion, as Cody and Ted leave the ring, while Orton is still out in the ring. We now get the recap of horseface and Mickie James.
4. Mickie James v. Michelle McCool. Mickie had better win this match, and end this feud, seriously after all the crap Mickie has been put through. Great horseface has the microphone; she has the worst voice ever, worse than Vickie Guerrero even. Horseface claims Mickie is nowhere to be found tonight, as she does her usual lame ass fat jokes. Out comes Layla in the fat suit again; suddenly out comes Mickie who just lays out Layla. I hope she breaks that fire buzzard in two, and hopefully gets rid of that overrated Diva Search failure for good. Mickie goes after Layla, after the bell, and Michelle charges in and nails Layla with a big boot accidentally. Mickie kicks horseface and nails the DDT for the win!!!! DUD didn’t even make a full minute, but I don’t give a damn! Mickie has the title that she deserves, and looks great with it! Mickie nails Layla with a chick kick, knocking her on top of horseface, as we see Maria, Bella Twins, Gail, Kelly, and Eve bring out a cake. Maria hands the cake to Mickie, as the others hold horseface and Layla, and they ram the cake into horseface, that made the whole PPV for me. So happy to see Mickie regain the title, which was great! Hope we never see the fire buzzard again. After the replay we see the girls laughing at horseface, who’s in the ring crying! We now get a promo for the new Elimination Chamber PPV, and then see Rey getting ready for his title shot. This is going to be a bad match.
5. Undertaker v. Rey Mysterio. Rey uses his speed to get Undertaker in the corner, but Undertaker heaves Rey over the top rope with ease. Rey slowly climbs the steps, and comes back in the ring, and catches Undertaker coming at him, but Rey gets caught trying a springboard as Undertaker punches Rey to the floor. Undertaker follows and hammers Rey’s back, and tosses Rey back in then does the boot to the head of Rey. Undertaker goes for the legdrop, but Rey moves, and Undertaker was ready for it and nails it on the second try. Undertaker comes back in, as Rey is in trouble early, Undertaker readies for the chokeslam. Rey counters into a headscissor, and goes for 619, countered to a tombstone, but Rey slides out. Undertaker misses the elbow drop, but catches Rey coming off the ropes with a big boot. Undertaker stalks Rey, who slides out, and Undertaker follows, and hits the big boot on Rey. Rey staggers back up, and eats a third big boot, and Rey slowly gets up, and Undertaker goes for the forth boot, but Rey moves and Undertaker hits the post. Rey baseball slides the knee of Undertaker into the post, Rey dives off the apron for the senton, but Undertaker catches him in a powerbomb position. Rey jumps to the apron and hits an Asai Moonsault on Undertaker, who’s bleeding from the mouth, quick call the doctor. Rey slides into the hand of Undertaker who throws Rey into the barricade hard and Undertaker tosses Rey in the ring, as Lawler mentions the blood of the Undertaker. Undertaker lifts Rey up by the arm and tosses him into the ropes, as Undertaker has blood all over his mouth area now. Rey is in the corner, and Undertaker starts to level him with the punches, then Undertaker whips Rey in and catches him in the sideslam for a near fall. Undertaker lifts up Rey by the mask, and Rey starts to fight back with a series of kicks, but one right hand from Undertaker knocks Rey to the mat. Undertaker picks up Rey, but Rey with a quick headbutt, and catches Undertaker coming in the corner, and nails a reverse DDT on the champion. Undertaker quickly sits up, and Rey nails a low drop kick, then a springboard legdrop for a near fall! Undertaker catches Rey off the ropes with a huge clothesline, and readies for the Last Ride. Rey goes up, but slides down Undertaker and sets up the 619. Rey hits the 619, and then a springboard dropkick, sets up a second 619, then goes for the West Coast Pop. Undertaker catches Rey and nails the Last Ride for the win! 3/5 better than expected, but seriously Rey had no chance in Hell of winning the watch. Still not a bad match and the double 619 was kind of cool to see. We now go to Shawn Michaels backstage, as Kane walks in and says Shawn obsession with Undertaker is unhealthy. Kane says he has faced Undertaker twice at Wrestlemania, and whatever vision Shawn has, in the end there is no light, only the darkness. Kane leaves as HHH comes in, and says that probably wasn’t a pep talk. Triple H wishes Shawn luck, and Shawn apologizes for stepping on HHH’s dream of winning. They shake hands, and Shawn pulls HHH back and says he and Undertaker is meant to be. HHH says he knows it us, and that’s why he knows Shawn will find another way.

6. 30 Man Royal Rumble. Drawing numbers one and two respectively are Dolph Ziggler & Evan Bourne. The both look up at the Wrestlemania banner, and the Rumble is off and running. Dolph gets caught by a Hurricanrana, then a mule kick. Dolph rams Bourne in the corner, and a dropkick almost eliminates Bourne but he holds the ropes. Ziggler whips Bourne in, but he comes back with the double knee. Bourne with another Hurricanrana, and both men almost out. As Bourne pulls himself up, Ziggler nails the Zig Zag and tosses Bourne, but Bourne lands on the apron and hits a big kick. Bourne follows with the Air Bourne as #3 comes out, CM Punk with Serena. Punk takes down Bourne with a series of clotheslines, but misses the kick, and lands near Ziggler. Bourne runs in and Punk moves, Bourne and Ziggler collide heads, Punk tosses both men out, Bourne first then Ziggler. Serena passes the mic to Punk, who starts his sermon, as the timer counts down, bringing out #4 JTG, as Punk says “It’s Clobbering Time”, channeling his inner Thing. JTG starts out quickly on Punk, and gets Punk in the corner, JTG runs at Punk and lands on the ropes. Punk casually lifts JTG up and over for his third elimination, and now back to your previously scheduled sermon, as the clock counts down. #5 comes out, and its The Great Khali, Punk’s a dead man now! Punk gets Khali his hand for the prayer and the hand quickly comes down on Punk’s head. Great Khali locks in the head vice on CM Punk as the timer runs out, and #6 comes out, Beth Phoenix! Seriously, Beth, that’s awesome. Beth charges down the aisle, and gets in the face of Khali, as she’s face to chest with the Giant. Khali scoops up Beth and drops her on the apron and tells her to leave, Beth responds with a kiss, and pulls Khali out!!! She then clotheslines CM Punk now, and lifts him on her shoulders, but he slides down and gets her up. Punk nails her with the GTS, and out comes #7 Zack Ryder, as Punk tosses out Phoenix. Punk has the microphone again, he says Zack has potential to join the Straight Edge, but then nails Ryder with the microphone. Punk with a short arm clothesline and tosses Ryder with ease, as the crowd is behind CM Punk, and we see Beth being helped to the back. Punk is bleeding from his mouth, as he says whose next and he’s better then whoever it is. Well, that’ll just bring out the Game, as number #8 comes out, and I was right it’s the Game. CM Punk says it’s my time now, and indeed it is, as HHH gets in the ring and they get nose to nose. Could do that with HHH still in the aisle, just saying is all. Triple H hits the facebuster on Punk, as Serena screams for the savior. Punk nails the corner knee, but HHH avoids the bulldog and HHH hits a spinebuster as #9, Drew McIntyre comes out. Drew takes his time to come to the ring, as HHH is pounding Punk in the corner. Drew finally comes in, and HHH hits the vintage high knee, but Punk catches HHH in the GTS, but HHH grabs the leg and tosses out CM Punk. Drew nails a back elbow on HHH, as the refs are trying to get Punk to leave. Drew rams HHH in the corner, as #10 comes out and it’s Ted DiBiase, who charges in the ring and eats a big clothesline from the Game. Triple H charges at DiBiase, who catches him in a scoop slam, and now it’s a double team on HHH, as Ted & Drew work over HHH in the corner. I expect #11 to be John Morrison, since Drew’s in there, as DiBiase drops the fist repeatedly on HHH, as #11 comes out, and I was right. JoMo runs to the ring, and goes right at DiBiase, as Morrison hits a nice kick, then sweeps the legs out of Drew and pounds him. Drew whips him in and goes for the side slam, countered into the headscissor takedown, but Ted jumps JoMo from behind. The Game tries to pull himself up, as Ted attempts Dream Street on JoMo, but JoMo counters with a big kick, then nails Starship Pain on Drew, as #12 comes out. HHH nails JoMo, and out comes the Big Red Machine, and he comes in from the top rope and nails HHH with the flying lariat. Kane opens up on all four men in the ring, as Stryker calls Kane, Undertaker’s Baby Brother, that’s just funny. Kane with a double chokeslam on Morrison and Drew, then HHH eats a big boot. Kane lifts up DiBiase, but Drew nails Kane, but Kane comes back with the chokeslam on Drew. #13 comes out, and it’s the other half of Legacy, Cody Rhodes, who saves DiBiase from Kane. Legacy double teams Kane, and now Rhodes nails the Game and Drew, but JoMo catches him. JoMo back dropped to the apron, but springboards back in, unfortunately for John right into Cody’s dropkick. Legacy back on Kane, but The Game goes after Rhodes. Everyone pairs off as #14 comes out, MVP, but he gets attacked in the aisle by Miz. Miz nails MVP with the US title and leaves him lying in the aisle, as the refs come out to stop Miz. Drew and Kane slugging it out, as Cody and HHH going at it. JoMo hits the Flying Chuck on Drew, as Legacy almost have the Game out, we see MVP being helped to the back. Kane levels JoMo and then attacks Legacy, as #15 comes out, Carlito, yeah, good luck Carlito. Carlito dropkicks Triple H, nails Kane, and then back elbows both Legacy members. Drew whips Carlito in the corner where John is, and Carlito monkey flips JoMo out. Carlito nails a high knee on Carlito, then a backstabber for HHH, Drew and DiBiase, as #16 comes out. The Miz runs down the aisle, and nails Carlito with the Skull Crushing Finale then goes for Morrison. Suddenly MVP charges the ring, and clotheslines Miz over the top, but MVP goes with him and both are now out. Legacy almost has HHH out, while Drew is upside down from JoMo, but everyone still safe. HHH tosses Carlito, but he holds the ropes, and Triple stomps him, as the clock runs down again. #17 comes out, and it’s Matt Hardy!! Matt nails a Twist of Fate on Drew, and a Side Effect on Rhodes. Ted whips Matt in, Matt to the second rope, and Kane shoves him out, but the Triple H knocks out Kane, as we have two quick eliminations. Triple H nails everyone with a spinebuster, and stands over everyone. Game goes for Pedigree on Cody, but Drew from behind and now it’s four on one as #18 comes out. It’s Shawn Michaels, and Carlito charges at Shawn, and out comes Carlito. Cody tossed out and DiBiase joins Cody as Shawn turns his attention on Drew now. Shawn nails the flying forearm, and nips up, but JoMo goes for the Flying Chuck, but Shawn ducks and out goes Morrison. We’re down to D-X and Drew, and D-X are pummeling Drew, then they double team Drew over the top, and it’s down to D-X as #19 joins the battle, and it’s Cena. The crowd erupts, as the human pylon comes out, and we have the three main guys on RAW. Cena takes down both members of DX, lifts HHH for the side Suplex, and HHH’s feet nail Shawn, and Cena drops HHH on Shawn. Cena nails a cheesy looking double fistdrop, and then lifts Shawn on his shoulders. Triple H nails Cena, and hits the pedigree, but when he gets up, Shawn nails HHH with Sweet Chin Music eliminating the Game as Shelton Benjamin comes in at #20. Shelton takes it to both Cena and Shawn now, not that Shelton stands a chance. Shelton with a German Suplex on Cena, and follows with Paydirt on Shawn, as Shelton readies to nail Cena. Shelton goes for Paydirt, and Cena counters by tossing out Shelton now, as we’re back down to Cena and Shawn. I hate these quick eliminations, even though it makes it easier to type! #21 comes out, and it’s Yoshi Tatsu, Yoshi nails Cena with a series of kicks, and nails Shawn with a rolling move then a kick. Yoshi goes for the kick on Cena, but Cena avoids and eliminates Tatsu, thanks for coming out Yoshi. No one will stay long with these until we get Show, Jericho or Batista. Both men are down now, and Cena first man up hammers Shawn in the corner as #22 is none other than the Big Show! Show takes both men down with a headbutt, and whips Shawn in, then lifts Shawn and drops him on the apron, as Cena tries to help eliminate Show. Show lifts Shawn up, but Cena holds him up and goes for FU, but Shawn slides off and goes for Sweet Chin Music, but Cena moves and tosses Shawn to the apron. Show nails Cena, and goes for Shawn, but Shawn pulls himself up, so Show tosses Shawn across the ring. Show stands over Shawn and Cena now, as the clock runs down for our next man. #23 is Mark Henry, and we have the World’s Strongest Man and the World’s Largest Athlete in the ring, and they are face to face. Show shoves Mark, and Mark fires back, Mark goes for a slam, but Show slides out and nails Henry to the ground. Cena hits the flying shoulder and Henry with a headbutt, shoulder from Cena and a big slam for Henry. Cena catches Henry on his shoulders, but Henry shifts his weight and lands on Cena. Show with a spear on Henry as #24 comes out, and it’s the Masterpiece. Masters presses Shawn up and drops him. Masters goes for the Masterlock on Show, but Show just lifts Masters over his shoulder to the mat. Henry lifts Show, and both men are wobbling on the ropes, as #25 is R-Truth. R-Truth comes in, and eliminates both Show and Henry by catching them of balance. That was impressive! Truth now works over Cena and hits the ax kick, but Shawn chops Truth. Truth nails the Stroke on Cena, and yells “What’s Up! King says R-Truth could win the Rumble; yeah he has as much chance as Jack Swagger! Just saying is all. Truth has Shawn on the ropes, as #26 joins the battle, and it’s Jack Swagger! Swagger has the best look, as he runs to the ring, and hits the bouncy elbow on Cena and Shawn, then snap Suplexes Cena and one for Shawn too. Swagger picks up Truth and rams him in the corner, as he nails a nice Oklahoma Stampede, shades of the late great Dr. Death Steve Williams! That was a nice little tribute from Swagger! Shawn chops Swagger in the corner, and whips Swagger in, but gets caught with his head down. Swagger clotheslines Shawn to the apron, but Shawn able to get back in, as #27 comes out and it’s Kofi Kingston. Kofi is the man who should win this, as he enters from the top and nails Swagger. Kofi takes down Swagger and hits the Boom Drop, then runs at Swagger, but Swagger lifts up Kofi, but Kofi able to headscissor Swagger out! Shawn goes right at Kofi, but Kofi with a nice dropkick. Kofi catches Truth in the corner, but Truth tosses Kofi over, however Kofi lands on the apron and pulls Truth out with his legs. That looked really cool, actually, as Chris Jericho comes it at #29. Jericho opens up quickly on Shawn, Cena and Kofi, but focuses on Cena. Cena nails the FU on Jericho, nice he just came in and gets hit with Cena’s finisher. Shawn climbs the ropes and drops an elbow on Jericho, and readies for Sweet Chin Music. Kofi cuts off the band with a little Trouble in Paradise knocking Shawn down. Cena catches Kofi and eliminates Kingston, which really pisses me off. I hate Cena, seriously, why does he feel the need to be like D-X and bury people? Number 29 is coming out, and it’s EDGE!!! Holy Shit!! It’s freaking Edge!! This is now the greatest Rumble ever, as Tony Schiavonte would say! So happy to see the Rated R Superstar back, unlike Jericho who’s shocked. This places has erupted, probably the loudest they’ve been all night. Edge spears Jericho, Michaels and then Cena. Edge tosses Jericho with ease now, and then takes down Shawn. Cena catches Edge and goes for the FU, but countered into the Impaler!!! Edge stomps on Cena, as Shawn chops Edge from behind, and Edge lifts Shawn as #30 comes out. Batista runs to the ring and nails Edge with a Spinebuster, then clotheslines Cena and Shawn. Cena gets nailed with a spinebuster, but Batista turns into a spear from Edge, however Edge turns into a FU from Cena and everyone is down. Shawn chops Cena in the ropes, and whips Shawn in; Shawn comes back with the flying forearm. Shawn slams Cena and Batista, then climbs the ropes and drops the elbow on Cena. Shawn with an enziguri on Batista and another diving elbow, this time on Batista. Shawn readies the band, and hits Sweet Chin Music on Cena and Batista. Edge clothesline Shawn, and both men tumble to the apron. Shawn superkicks Edge sending him back in the ring and Batista clobbers Shawn from behind and Shawn has been eliminated. Shawn is having a major meltdown at ringside, as Stryker says everyone wanted to see Undertaker and Shawn at Wrestlemania, not everyone Matt. The ref is trying to get Shawn to leave, and Shawn is about to cry. Shawn refusing to leave tosses the ref into the announce table and slides back in. Another ref is yelling at Shawn to leave, and Shawn hits Sweet Chin Music on the ref now. Shawn drops to the mat in a sitting position, holding his head, as another ref comes in. Shawn is losing his mind quickly here, as he finally leaves ringside, as Batista smirks. Shawn screams as he heads to the back, and we’re down to three, Batista, Edge and John Cena. One of these is not like the other! Edge is the unlikely one in there, as I can see either Batista or Cena win, and face either Undertaker or Sheamus, respectively at Wrestlemania. Batista nails Cena and goes for the Batista Bomb, but Cena backdrops out and lifts up Batista for the FU. Batista slides down and nails Cena into the ropes, Batista charges into Cena, but Cena drops down and Batista tumbles to the floor. This leaves my favorite and least favorite, Edge and Cena, damn. I have a bad feeling about this for Edge. Edge readies to spear Cena, as Edge’s rocking on the ropes. Cena slowly pulls himself up, and Edge charges, but Cena moves and kicks Edge. Cena charges at Edge, and Edge sidesteps Cena and sends Cena out! Edge wins the Royal Rumble!!!!!!!! Holy shit, this just made the entire PPV for me! Ok, I’m marking out like a five year old but who cares! Edge beats all three superegos to win!! 4/5 not the best Rumble, which was 92’s, but the return and win of Edge makes up for it! What a great way to end the PPV! On this day, I see clearly, the great one goes to Wrestlemania!!! Edge soaks in the screams of the crowd as the pyro goes off for the 2010 Royal Rumble winner!

Match Recap

1. Christian pinned Ezekiel Jackson 3.75/5
2. Miz beat MVP 3.75/5
3. Sheamus beat Randy Orton by DQ 3.75/5
4. Mickie James destroyed Michelle “horseface” McCool DUD
5. Undertaker beat Rey Mysterio 3/5
6. EDGE won the Royal Rumble 4/5

A very impressive PPV, as even the worst match was good for its own reasons. I still don’t understand the Zeke/Christian match, as I don’t where they will go from here. Who’s left for Christian to face. Oh crap, I just had a horrible thought. Edge can face any champion, I have a bad feeling he’s going to go for the ECW title and face Christian! The Miz/MVP match was very good, and the Sheamus/Orton match was good till the end. Sheamus needs some clean wins soon, or he’s going to be the most forgotten champion since Stan Stasiak. The Women’s match was short, but I don’t care, as Mickie won and that is all that matters. Hopefully we never see McCool again. The Undertaker/Rey match was ok, but nothing spectacular. The Rumble itself was very good, but the quick eliminations were dumb, as was Beth in the Rumble, but as I said seeing Edge return and win made up for it. All in all a very good show.
 
Royal Rumble Entrants
1. Dolph Ziggler
2. Evan Bourne
3. CM Punk
4. JTG
5. The Great Khali
6. Beth Phoenix
7. Zack Ryder
8. Triple H
9. Drew McIntyre
10. Ted DiBiase
11. John Morrison
12. Kane
13. Cody Rhodes
14. MVP
15. Carlito
16. Miz
17. Matt Hardy
18. Shawn Michaels
19. John Cena
20. Shelton Benjamin
21. Yoshi Tatsu
22. Big Show
23. Mark Henry
24. Chris Masters
25. R-Truth
26. Jack Swagger
27. Kofi Kingston
28. Chris Jericho
29. EDGE
30. Batista

 
Royal Rumble Eliminations
1. Evan Bourne by CM Punk
2. Dolph Ziggler by CM Punk
3. JTG by CM Punk
4. Great Khali by Beth Phoenix
5. Beth Phoenix by CM Punk
6. Zack Ryder by CM Punk
7. CM Punk by Triple H
8. Miz by MVP
9. MVP went over with Miz
10. Matt Hardy by Kane
11. Kane by Triple H
12. Carlito by Shawn Michaels
13. Cody Rhodes by Shawn Michaels
14. Ted DiBiase by Shawn Michaels
15. John Morrison by Shawn Michaels
16. Drew McIntyre by D-X
17. Triple H by Shawn Michaels
18. Shelton Benjamin by John Cena
19. Yoshi Tatsu by John Cena
20. Chris Masters by Big Show
21. Mark Henry by R-Truth
22. Big Show by R-Truth
23. Jack Swagger by Kofi Kingston
24. R-Truth by Kofi Kingston
25. Kofi Kingston by John Cena
26. Chris Jericho by Edge
27. Shawn Michaels by Batista
28. Batista by John Cena
29. John Cena by EDGE!!!!!!!

Drama’s Smackdown Report 11/6/09

Friday Night Smackdown!
November 6, 2009
Providence, Rhode Island
Todd Grisham and Matt Striker

OPENING ANIMATION

Todd & Matt welcome us to Providence and the Dunk! Tonight’s main event has the “new” Batista taking on Matt Hardy, after last week’s sneak attack. But we begin with the gong, the darkness, the lightning, and the World Heavyweight Champion. Still the greatest entrance in wrestling history. Down comes the Undertaker to a big ovation. Taker has the mike and says it seems like an eternity ago that the creature of darkness arrived to strike fear in all mortals. He says at Survivor Series the dark birth of the Undertaker occurred, and all who opposed him perished. Year after year they still come for this, and he raises the World Title. He says they all want a chance, but he says it’s the Holy Grail for all who step in the ring. Taker says Big Show betrayed an entire team for an opportunity to become Champion. He says what he won was a termination at the hands of the Deadman. Now to Chris Jericho. Taker says there are few things in this world that bring joy to his dark heart. One of those things is to fight alongside his brother Kane. The second thing is to fight against his brother Kane. Last week Chris Jericho took that opportunity away. At Survivor Series he will be vanquished too. Taker is interrupted by said Chris Jericho, 1/3 of the triple threat match at Survivor Series. Jericho says after 10 years this is what the WWE Universe was waiting for. These two great superstars meeting face to face, but Jericho asks Taker what a Phenom is. Jericho says based on the definition he is the Phenom. He’s exceptional with all the accolades, the best at what he does. Jericho says for years Taker’s been brainwashing these gelatinous tapeworms and enabling them that he’s something he’s not. Jericho says he’s not a Deadman, he’s just a man. Just like Kane, John Cena, Big Show, men Jericho has defeated. At Survivor Series he will defeat Undertaker and be World Champion for the sixth time. Jericho says he’s not afraid of the smoke and the gong, for Taker is just a man. Jericho is not afraid and never will be. Taker grabs Jericho by the throat and they brawl. Taker boots him in the head and Jericho bails.

-Todd & Matt recap what happened with Batistas & Rey Mysterio at Bragging Rights & Smackdown last week.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Dolph Ziggler & Hart Dynasty vs. Intercontinental Champion John Morrison & Cryme Tyme

Zzzzzzzzzzzzz…I’m bored of Cryme Tyme now. They have their funny segment but since losing the Tag Title match at Summerslam, they kind of lost their luster. As for the Hart Dynasty, they need to go on a run and get the Tag Straps. They deserve it more than anyone, even more than Legacy. Legacy has passed the moment where they need the straps. They’re borderline main eventers now. Hart Dynasty on the other hand have about a .500 record on TV and that’s not good enough. Stop giving wins to Cryme Tyme and give them to Hart Dynasty. They have a future, Cryme Tyme doesn’t. As for Ziggler/Morrison, just put them in an IC Title match and get it over with. It doesn’t matter who wins, although Ziggler should probably have a run with it, he’s earned it. Morrison may be ready for the next level. This match is basic TV, and for once the right team won. Ziggler pins Gaspard for the win, and the Harts pick up a much needed win. WINNERS: Dolph Ziggler & Hart Dynasty (Grade: 2)

COMMERCIAL BREAK

-Josh Matthews is with Rey Mysterio alone in the locker room. Rey says he’s upset, since one of his own family members walked out on him, over something so small. Rey starts talking Spanish. Josh announces that Rey and Batista will meet at Survivor Series. Rey says that Batista’s watching, and he says that Batista’s not listening to logic or anything, and he threw away the spirit of Eddie Guerrero. Whatever it is, Rey says he’ll get it out. Rey’s never seen this side of Batista before, but at Survivor Series, everyone will see a side of Rey no one has ever seen.

Beth Phoenix vs. Brittany Carter

Wondering if this Carter girl is a local worker, but my Rhode Island friends have never heard of her either so who knows. It’s a glorified squash, as they seem to be rebuilding Beth as a hot monster again. WINNER: Beth Phoenix (Grade: 1.5)

COMMERCIAL BREAK

Drew McIntyre vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

Wow, this feels like a 1988 episode of Superstars, with back to back jobber squashes. Well this isn’t really a squash as McIntyre pearl harbors Yang and tosses him out of the ring. McIntyre says this party isn’t even starting. Although Yang wants the bell rung to fight, so we will have a match. DDT later and its over anyway. WINNER: Drew McIntyre (Grade: 0)

-Josh Matthews stops Batista backstage, and he asks why he’s attacked Rey and Matt Hardy. Batista says it’s about being Champion, and that’s it. He doesn’t want friends anymore; he wants to be #1.

Rey Mysterio vs. Mike Knox

I look at Mike Knox and I can’t believe that when ECW started in 2006, he was “dating” Kelly Kelly. Knox dominated the action early, pounding Rey in and outside the ring. Even with Rey winning this match, it still made Knox look like a big-time monster. I would move Knox back to ECW and have him join William Regal’s crew with Kozlov and Zeke. Then maybe they can have a tag title on the show. Rey wins with the 619 & Slingshot Splash, but Knox wrestled a good match and controlled the pace. WINNER: Rey Mysterio (Grade: 2)

COMMERCIAL BREAK

-Todd & Matt announce that next week on Smackdown Dolph Ziggler will get his Intercontinental Title shot against John Morrison.

CM Punk vs. R-Truth

Pretty cool combination here as they’ve never met in the ring together. I hope with Batista turning heel that CM Punk doesn’t get lost in the shuffle. There’s definitely not enough faces on Smackdown, which made it even more annoying that John Cena won at Bragging Rights and didn’t leave Raw. I just realized that Scott Armstrong is refereeing the match, and Punk doesn’t like what he thinks is a slow count. Punk starts jawing with him about counting too slow, then R-Truth rolls him up and Armstrong counts just a little bit faster for the upset win. Surprisingly good result as Punk is flipping out. WINNER: R-Truth (Grade: 2)

Backstage, Mickie James, Michelle McCool and Layla jaw with each other about the Survivor Series match, the Women’s Title, and she calls Layla “Scary Spice”. Nice outside shot of the Dunk. We then go back to last week when Matt Hardy tried to reason with Batista, and got his ass kicked for his troubles.

COMMERCIAL BREAK

-Back from break with the Raw Rebound, looking back at Ozzy & Sharon’s performance. We return with Josh talking with Matt Hardy. Matt says he knows about betrayal and what happened between he and Jeff. Batista’s either scared, selfish or forgotten where he came from. Tonight there will be no talking, but there will be plenty of fighting.

Matt Hardy vs. Batista

I wonder when they’ll change his entrance theme music. He no longer does the machine gun pyro thing, he just…walks alone. Now the key thing here is Batista will have to change his style, and start to dictate pace and be a little dirty. Sure he was like that when he was in Evolution, but he was also a lower mid-carder and no one really cared. Now with the spotlight clearly on him, except for those single match shots with Shawn Michaels and John Cena in 2008 he really needs to be vicious and overpowering on a grand heel scale. Striker’s starting to get a little more heel edge since joining the show, as he’s clearly behind Batista in this situation. The match ends when an off-the-wall Batista cracks Hardy in the back with a monitor off the SD table. He continues beating Hardy down and throws him into the steps. WINNER: Matt Hardy by disqualification (Grade: 2)

-Batista throws Matt into the ring and was about to go for a Demon Bomb, but instead throws Hardy down and leaves the ring and with that we’re out. Next week an IC Title match, and for the first time ever…Undertaker vs. Chris Jericho one on one.

FINAL GRADE: B

Monday Night Raw 10/19/09
Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Arena
Jacksonville, FL

Announcers: Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler

- We open the show inside the arena as Justin Roberts brings out tonight’s Guest Host: Snoop Dogg! Snoop rides out in a pink Caddy and Cole is all a twitter for him. He is accompanied by the Bellas and Eve as he struts to the ring with his new single playing in the background. He is excited to be here tonight as he is a huge WWE and Raw fan and his mindset is on business. He knows Raw will embarrass Smackdown on Sunday night and he also has John Cena battling Triple H tonight in what could be Cena’s last night on Raw. He also Randy Orton taking on Ted DiBiase to keep things fair and he is adding Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels as well. Snoop then introduces DX who come on down to the ring to a good pop. Snoop dances and crotch chops a bit with Shawn and Hunter before he and the Divas head off to the back. Hunter says that it is in the contract for white guys to come out and try to talk in Snoop’s language so he asks Shawn to do the honors. They do a few “izzle” jokes and a high five to prove how white they are, but the crowd isn’t feeling it. They turn their attention to Bragging Rights and then show us Team Smackdown on the big screen. They take turns reading off each participant, sneaking inside jokes and put downs in on each one, including a Katie Vick joke. Typical Triple H in acting like he doesn’t know who Drew McIntyre and Eric Estrada are. I am tired of that shit. Why don’t you put over your young talent, clown? Michaels explains thoroughly who McIntyre is but plays dumb on Estrada. Hunter says he parked his car last week and Michaels explains that he is dating Vickie. Hunter makes a fat joke to Vickie, which is also fucking stupid. Michaels gets a funny dig in on Hunter’s relationship with Steph though. Hunter brings out the rest of the Raw team and they all march to the ring. Shawn goes down the line and introduces all of them as Hunter makes stupid jokes behind him. I am usually a Hunter defender but he is just being a dick here. Hunter dismisses Cody too and Cody says he will be following his own path on Sunday. Hunter and Michaels are captains in name only and if it were based on talent. Cody would be captain. He may not tag any of them in and just beat Smackdown on his own. Big Show takes the mic and tells Cody to respect him. If he thinks Cody will let the team down at any time, he will take him out himself and that goes for the rest of them too. Now Henry gets in Show’s face and asks if that was a threat. Show says it is and Henry thinks there is going to be a problem. Swagger steps in and says he is more athletic than either of them so they need to stick to their strengths on Sunday and stand in the background. Kofi tries to calm everyone down and says this is what Smackdown wants. They need to get on the same page or it will be bad news. Kofi no longer has an accent and Hunter calls him out on it. Shawn stops that train and says they need to focus on being a team. So, to put the team to a test, he organized a ten man tag match here tonight. Hunter says that if any of them lose tonight, the person who gets the pin from the other team will take the loser’s place on Sunday. And that match is going down right now. The challengers head to the ring as we take a break. Outside of Hunter’s Dumbass antics, that was a good segment that put the focus on Bragging Rights nicely.

1) Mark Henry, Big Show, Kofi Kingston, Cody Rhodes & Jack Swagger vs. Chavo Guerrero, MVP, Primo Colon, Chris Masters & Evan Bourne

When we return, Chavo is working over Kofi and gets a one count. Kofi sends Chavo over with a back drop but Chavo fights his way back in it. Kofi leaps on to him in the corner and slugs away as we see DX watching backstage. Kofi takes out Chavo with a clothesline but Show and Henry both tag themselves in at the same time. As they argue, Cody tags Kofi and comes into the ring. Chavo drives him back to the corner and tags in MVP. He slugs on Rhodes but Cody catches him with a kick. Cody charges and MVP sends him over with a belly to belly throw. MVP tags in Bourne who stalks Cody. He gets a cross body but Rhodes rolls through for a near fall. Cody grabs a side headlock and then hammers on Bourne. Bourne fights him off and tags in Primo. He sends Cody down with a back elbow and then follows with some right hands. Primo takes Cody down with a Russian legsweep as Cole puts over Smackdown’s team. Cody crushes Primo with Crossrhodes but Swagger tags himself in and pins Primo for the win. Team Raw d. Team Raw Challengers when Swagger pins Primo after Crossrhodes; Grade: 1.5

- Team Raw gets into a big shoving match after the bell and it ends with Show and Henry alone in the ring. As Henry turns around, Show drops him with a spear. DX is not impressed backstage as Show leaves the ring. As he takes off, Cole and King take us back to last week when DiBiase pinned Randy Orton in a three way match. Backstage, Josh Matthews is with Ted DiBiase and Ted justifies his actions last week. Orton hasn’t returned his calls all week but he is sure Randy understands. And on cue, Orton stalks into the picture and asks what he needs to understand about Ted’s betrayal. Ted asks Randy if he would have done the same thing but Orton tells him to just listen carefully. He tells Ted not to lift a finger or fight back in their match tonight. Ted needs to finally show Orton the respect he deserves and there is then a chance that Ted can stay in Legacy. If Ted takes advantage, he will regret it for the rest of his life. Orton leaves the choice to him and takes off as we go to break. Good promo there with nice intensity.

- We are back and checking out a Wrestlemania video package as tickets go on sale in 19 days. Back live, we head to the ring where Ted DiBiase awaits.

2) Ted DiBiase vs. Randy Orton in a non title match

Cole ponders if DiBiase will fight or defer to Orton’s wishes. We will find out in a moment as Orton heads out. They stare each other down off the bell Orton slugs Ted down to one knee and then stares at him as he gets back to his feet. Orton nails him with an uppercut and continues to glare as the crowd is starting to chant for Ted. He kicks Ted down and Ted is just shaking angrily on the mat, face getting redder. Orton stomps on his knee and warns Ted not to fight back. He keeps stomping on Ted and then drops down and asks Ted if he wants to hit him. Ted is up and getting in Randy’s face and the crowd is getting behind him. Orton smacks Ted and Ted is looking pretty pissed. The crowd is getting more into it with each Orton smack. Orton shoves Ted and Ted shoves him back to the mat. He stalks after Orton but holds back. Orton gets to his feet and Ted looks out to the crowd. Orton pushes Ted’s chin up and then drops him with RKO for the win. The match was nothing but that was some great stuff. For the first time in a while, the crowd was really into DiBiase. When he finally snaps it should be a great moment. Orton d. DiBiase with an RKO; Grade: 1

- Orton stands tall over DiBiase and raises the belt up high. At ringside, Cole talks about the passing of Captain Lou Albano. Lawler gives a quick eulogy and then we get a nice tribute video package of Lou’s career, including NRBQ’s “Captain Lou”, a clip of Super Mario Bros. and some Cyndi Lauper footage. Lou gets a standing ovation from the fans as we fade to commercial.

- We are back from break and checking out the exterior of the arena. Inside, there are a number of Jaguars players in the arena. Cole then takes us to a sneak peak clip of Snoop’s new video. Backstage, Eve and the Bellas are putting over Snoop and his CD. Hornswoggle comes in and Snoop reminds him what he is supposed to do tonight. Chavo comes in and makes fun of Horny’s DX aspirations. Chavo begs Snoop to let him be part of Team Raw. He is wrestling royalty and is being overlooked. Now Jillian comes in and demands a Divas title rematch tonight. She sings “Gin and Juice” as Chavo keeps trying to get a word in. Now Santino comes in, dressed like Charlie Brown. He wants to start from scratch with Snoopy the Dog. He wants to chase the Red Baron and grab Lucy and smack her around. Jillian sings some more and Chavo whines until Snoop throws them all out. Before Eve leaves, Snoop asks for his bag so he can light one up. As he does, we cut to a funny Technical Difficulties slate featuring Michael Cole with his arm around Hornswoggle and some funny elevator music playing. When we come back, smoke is filling the air but Snoop reveals that it was his personal stash of scented candles. Santino comes in and drops a “Good Grief” to cap it off. We see John Cena contemplating life backstage as we go to break.

3) John Cena vs. Triple H

We are back and John Cena is out to a mega screeching pop. Cole reminds us that this could be Cena’s final Raw match as he heads into Bragging Rights. A loud “Cena” chant breaks out as Cena looks emotional in the ring. Triple H is out next and I expected him to be covered in dirt from all the burying he did earlier tonight. He does the usual to eat up some more time. The bell finally sounds and we are under way. They lock up and Cena takes Hunter down with a headlock. He goes for the AA but Hunter slips free and bails to the corner to regroup. They lock up again and Cena takes him down again. King tells us this is only the fourth one on one meeting between these two. Cena puts Hunter down with a shoulderblock and then follows with a hiptoss for two. Hunter backs off to regroup again as Cole puts over both men. We get another lockup and Hunter grabs a side headlock. Cena fights free and powers Hunter down with a hammerlock. The crowd is behind Cena as Hunter fights back to his feet and breaks the hold. He runs Cena into the buckle but Cena fires out of the corner with right hands. Cena shoots Hunter into the corner but Hunter comes out with a big clothesline for two. Hunter hammers on Cena and then whips him hard into the corner. Hunter whips him hard again and then sets up for the Pedigree but Cena slips free and whips Hunter over the top rope and to the floor. Hunter is down and out and we are taking a break. When we return, Hunter is pounding on Cena in the ring. He drops Cena with a backbreaker for two as we get a quick clip of Hunter taking over during the break, courtesy a shove off the apron and into the announce table. He works Cena’s gut over in the corner but Cena keeps fighting back with right hands. They trade some shots back and forth and Cena is able to hit a flying shoulderblock. He goes for another but Hunter dodges and he crashes and burns. Cena goes for the AA but Hunter slips loose and chop blocks Cena’s knee. Cena dodges a chop block and goes for the STF but Hunter wriggles free. Cena eats a boot on a charge but he recovers and takes Hunter over with a fisherman’s buster. He goes for a bulldog but Hunter blocks it and he goes flying. Hunter goes for the Pedigree but Cena slips free and takes Hunter down and locks in the STF in the middle of the ring. Hunter crawls for the rope and gets close until Cena breaks and drags him back a bit. He locks it in again but Hunter is able to force the rope break this time. They get back up and Hunter hits a Pedigree. He crawls over but Cena gets his foot on the rope at two. Both men are out and we take another break. When we come back, Cena is staggering around on the floor before sliding back in the ring. We see that Hunter took control during the break by whipping Cena into the steps. Cena ducks a right hand and goes for the AA but Hunter slides down and trips up Cena. Hunter locks in a Sharpshooter as we see Orton watching from backstage. Cena is able to reach the ropes to force the break. Hunter eats a boot in the corner and Cena comes out with some running shoulderblocks. He puts Hunter down with the spinning slam and then drops the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Hunter is back up and they trade some right hands until Hunter puts Cena down with a vintage high knee. He follows with a facebreaker, clothesline and a spinebuster. Cena is up and Hunter drops him with the Pedigree…but Cena kicks out! They got me with that one. Cena hoists Hunter up and drops him with the AA…but Hunter kicks out! Cena heads up top but misses his legdrop as Hunter dodges it. Hunter goes for another Pedigree, but Cena switches it to the AA. Hunter slips down and drops a third Pedigree to pick up the clean win. That was a really good TV match that picks up a grade bump due to the really good Pedigree near fall at the end. Triple H d. Cena with a Pedigree; Grade: 3.5

- Hunter extends his hand and Cena accepts. They shake and Hunter takes off as Cena stares off into the crowd. We see Orton staring at the TV backstage and then cut back live as Cena gives a salute to the crowd before solemnly walking to the back.

- Back from break we get the Ninja Gaiden Slam of the Week. It takes us back to Smackdown’s Dirt Sheet where Miz and Morrison debated over which of them was the Marty Jannetty of their team. Back live, Miz is heading to the ring. Miz is out, showing off his title. There is a random jobber in the ring but before the bell, Snoop appears on the Titantron and puts over Marty Jannetty. He then announces that Jannetty is Miz’s opponent here tonight!

4) Miz vs. Marty Jannetty in a non title match

And the classic Rockers music fires up as Marty charges to the ring. The crowd seems to either not care or have no idea who he is at this point. Jannetty pops Miz and gets a roll up for two. Now a “Marty” chant starts up as Miz slugs away at him. Marty ducks Miz and fires back but Miz whips him hard into the corner and then kills him with a clothesline. Marty even busts out the 360 sell. Miz hooks a rear chinlock but Marty elbows free and drops Miz with a back suplex. Marty hits a nice jumping back elbow and a back body drop. Marty heads to the middle rope and nails Miz with a fist drop for two. Miz floats over on a slam attempts but Marty reverses to try a Rocker Dropper. Miz slips loose and drops Marty across the top rope. Marty staggers back and Miz hits the SCF for the win. Nice to see Marty back but Miz picks up the victory and momentum for Sunday. Miz d. Jannetty with the Skull Crushing Finale; Grade: 1

- Miz takes off as Cole and King put over the new Raw vs. Smackdown game that comes out tomorrow. We see Jillian and Chavo chatting backstage as we go to break.

5) Jillian vs. Melina for the Divas Championship

Jillian and Chavo are out first and they are followed by Melina as Jillian is looking to regain her title. Jillian scoops Melina up off the bell and plants her with a Samoan drop for two. Jillian whips Melina into the corner but Melina is able to avoid the handspring elbow. Chavo runs some interference until Hornswoggle grabs his leg and messes with him. Melina comes from behind and drops the split legdrop for the win. Melina d. Jillian with the Primal Scream; Grade: .5

- Hornswoggle, dressed like Snoop, is celebrating until Chavo comes in the ring and yanks him around. Now Snoop comes charging to the ring to help. Chavo tosses Horny down and then smacks Snoop a bit. Horny ducks down behind Chavo and Snoop shoves Chavo down over him. Now Snoop and Chavo dance around until Snoop takes him down with a nice spear. Chavo bails and Snoop, Horny, Eve, Gail, Kelly and the Bellas dance in the ring. Cole also dances at ringside a bit as they plug USA’s newest show, White Collar. The dancing continues as we go to break.

- We are back and thanking Maylene and the Sons of Disasters for the Bragging Rights theme song. Cole then sends us to a good Cena/Orton historical video package to hype the Iron Man match on Sunday. After that, Cole and King are in the ring to run down the PPV as is the custom on the go home show. Backstage, Chris Jericho is walking and we are taking a break.

- We are back and Cole tells us that NASCAR stars Joey Logano and Kyle Busch will host next week’s Raw. Perhaps we will get a Sparky Plugg return for next week’s Nostalgia trip? Or maybe we can at least get Steve Grissom and the WCW car. Back in the arena, Chris Jericho is sauntering to the ring, bedecked in a Smackdown t-shirt. Michaels is out next and it is main event time. Jericho has the mic and says he has no need to take out Michaels tonight because Team Smackdown already has an insurmountable edge thanks to his leadership. And in two minutes, Jericho puts over Team Smackdown way more that Triple H could have done in thirty minutes. Jericho says Team Smackdown will start the beatings tonight and they begin with Shawn Michaels. Cryme Tyme, Kane, Escobar, Ziggler and McIntyre all enter from the crowd and hop in the ring. Michaels stands in the aisle as Jericho puts down Team Raw for arguing. Before he can finish, Triple H leads Team Raw out in unison. The teams square off in the ring as Hunter grabs the mic. He credits Jericho for bringing Team Raw together in their agreement that they don’t like Jericho, his team or his show. And while they all may have walked onto Raw, they are about to get thrown off it. Before anything happens, Vickie Guerrero comes out, wearing a Smackdown t-shirt. The crowd heat is instantly there as soon as she comes out. She can see where this is going and as Team Smackdown’s consultant, she will not allow it. If DX wants a fight, they will get it Sunday and not tonight. She orders Team SD to leave the arena and they laugh at Team Raw. Hunter tells Jericho to leave like his boss Vickie said. Hunter keeps egging Jericho on and then says they don’t work for Vickie before attacking. The brawl breaks out and all fourteen men fight in and out of the ring as we fade out.

- Well, the show started off shaky with Hunter’s tirade, but it picked up nicely from there. There was good focus on the PPV and Snoop did a nice job as host as well. We got a lot of in ring action and the Triple H/Cena match was really good to anchor the show. The Jannetty surprise was a nice nostalgia segment and also helped get Miz some momentum for Sunday. Plus I am always a mark for the big pre PPV mega brawl to close a show. This was a much better show than last week so we will see if they can carry that over to Sunday. Enjoy Bragging Rights and I will see you next week!

Final Grade: B

They’re all about that Money, money, Yeah, yeah.

Shad gaspard and JTG, Its Cryme Tyme, This wallpaper was made to capture the thuggish style to their gimmick.

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Drama’s Smackdown Report 9/18/09

Friday Night Smackdown!
September 18, 2009
Hamilton, Ontario
Jim Ross and Todd Grisham

We have a package from Breaking Point, where Undertaker won the World Heavyweight Championship, and then he didn’t. We go live and a limo pulls into the backstage area, and out of it comes Teddy Long, who is of course booed vociferously. He has a big security team surrounding him, and he heads to the ring.

OPENING ANIMATION

We head to the ring and immediately, and for the first time on Smackdown in a while….we UNLEASH….THE ANIMAL. Out comes Batista to a raucous ovation from the Hamilton crowd. He takes the mike, and says recently his contract expired with Raw, and for the first time in his career he got to choose where he wanted to be. The blue show, the A show and he can’t wait to get started. He is then immediately cut off by Chris Jericho, co-holder of the Unified Tag Team Titles. Jericho says this is all so heartwarming, and he welcomes Batista back to the show. He says everything is right in the world because Batista is back, and he gets the crowd going with it. Jericho thinks nothing good, and he says Batista makes him sick. Batista reminds Jericho of the other injury-prone loser Edge. Another guy who wants the cheers of the crowd, but the reality is Jericho is the star on this show. Jericho says a lot has changed since Batista was last here. Jericho says he is the man on this show. Batista says he was always told that to be the man, you gotta beat the man. He knows a lot has changed, but tonight he wants to catch up. Tonight Batista says Jericho has a match, with him. With that he drops Jericho with a spinebuster and leaves the ring. Backstage Jericho is livid and he finds his partner the Big Show, and he wonders where he was. Show says he was right where he was supposed to be. Show tells Jericho he was to stay right here. Jericho says he’s the best and tonight he’ll do it alone.

-Tonight we’ll hear from Scott Armstrong, the referee in the World Title match at Breaking Point and find out what the heck happened.

Intercontinental Champion John Morrison vs. Mike Knox

#1 contender Dolph Ziggler joins JR and Grish at the broadcast table. We find out that Morrison will face Ziggler at Hell in the Cell. Knox talks about Restless Leg Syndrome in his in-screen comments. I like this new Mike Knox personality, and I’ve mentioned before how he almost has this 1996 Mankind creepiness going on. John Morrison reaps the benefits of Rey Mysterio’s suspension, but he deserves it anyway. 2010 is going to be a big year for him, and it starts with this IC Title win. As much as I miss Edge, his (as well as Jeff Hardy) absences have opened the door for other guys on the show to shine, and Morrison is definitely one of him. Ziggler’s snarky comments at the table proves he’s starting to settle in as a solid character and performer. Still not sure where the name came from, but I can look past that. The match isn’t bad as Morrison works well with the bigger Knox, but Starship Pain finishing it off. WINNER: John Morrison (Grade: 2)

-Morrison takes the mike and asks Ziggler if he’s finished playing footsie with Todd Grisham. I like that he keeps getting ripped by everybody (Grisham I mean). He keeps calling Dolph “Ziggles” and the crowd gets into it. A frustrated Ziggler leaves as Morrison says bye to “Mr. Ziggles”. JR and Grish talk about Breaking Point, and we see the clip of Undertaker allegedly tapping to CM Punk’s Anaconda Vice. We see both CM Punk and Scott Armstrong run from ringside. Josh Matthews is live with Scott Armstrong, who says he was never asked to do anything like he did at Breaking Point. However he answers to someone much higher than he is. He loves his family and needs to provide for them, so he did what he was asked to do.

Melina vs. Women’s Champion Michelle McCool

This is a pretty good rivalry and it continued last week when Michelle’s crutch shot led to Layla getting a win over Melina. I feel a little tension between JR and Grish at times as JR is telling Grish moves that Grish isn’t identifying whereas Grish is correcting JR on history. The match is OK, and Melina may have earned herself a title shot with that cool power bomb flip maneuver and a win. WINNER: Melina (Grade: 2)

-Backstage and Teddy Long is telling security to stay with him, because you never know when “he” will be here. In comes Mr. McMahon who’s pissed that his picture isn’t on the wall. Regardless he tells Teddy that its awesome that Batista’s back, but he wants to know why Teddy double-crossed the Undertaker at Breaking Point. Teddy tries to explain but Mr. McMahon keeps interrupting him, he tells Teddy he wanted him to entertain the audience. He tells Teddy to go out there and explain to the WWE Universe what happened.

-Back from break and out comes Teddy Long to a chorus of boos. Teddy says he’s happy about Batista being back on Smackdown, but he knows what he did at Breaking Point to Undertaker was wrong. We see the footage again, and he says it was all pre-planned. He did what he had to do because he didn’t want to be on the unemployment line and times are tough. He says he’s sorry for what he did but there were others in on the plot including Scott Armstrong and World Champion CM Punk. He, like Scott Armstrong said earlier, did what he had to do because he isn’t the highest on the food chain. He apologizes to the fans for what happened, but more importantly he apologizes to the Undertaker for what happened. Teddy leaves the arena and gets back into his limo. He tells the driver to leave now. The limo doesn’t move and Teddy says it again. Suddenly the doors to the limo lock, the partition comes down and there’s the Undertaker in the driver seat. He says “Buckle Up Teddy”. The inside of the limo lights up purple and smoke starts billowing from the floor. Teddy’s whining to get out but can’t. Frankly the whole skit was pretty stupid and cheesy.

-Back from break and out comes the only “straight edge” World Heavyweight Champion ever. CM Punk comes out to a chorus of boos. He says he told them so. He said he’d beat Jeff Hardy at Summerslam. He said he’d rid Smackdown of Jeff Hardy forever. He said he’d make Undertaker tap out to the Anaconda Vice at Breaking Point. He’s done all those things. He wants to confront the Undertaker, but he’s conveniently not here. So he’ll continue preaching to the masses about living the straight edge life and how none of these people do. They all pop pills to fulfill their self worth, and finding scape goats for their inadequacies. Punk says all the WWE Universe are liars and cowards. The fans medicate themselves but what Punk does is simply be the best at what he does. Finally Punk is acting the part he played successfully in Ring of Honor, by simply telling everyone he’s better than them. Punk is carrying the heel side of Smackdown quite nicely right now.

Hell in a Cell will be October 4 in Newark and 3 matches are currently set:

WWE Championship: John Cena © vs. Randy Orton (HIAC)
D-Generation X vs. Legacy (HIAC)
Intercontinental Championship: John Morrison © vs. Dolph Ziggler

Cryme Tyme vs. Hart Dynasty

Its about time that DH Smith & Tyson Kidd start asserting themselves and become players on Smackdown or they’ll just become fodder for upper echelon teams. I mean they shouldn’t be treated like Legacy or anything but I think they should hang around with CM Punk more like he did before Summerslam. It gave them instant credibility and made them players. Natalya’s still hot but she needs to wrestle more and that keeps the Divas division watchable. As for Cryme Tyme, well after their great build/feud with Chris Jericho/Big Show ended empty at Summerslam they’ve gone back to being forgotten mid-card comedy. Decent match otherwise and the right team won for a change. WINNERS: Hart Dynasty (Grade: 2)

Great Khali vs. Kane

Again? I thought this was finished. Two subpar PPV matches in a row but alas we get to see it again. Best match of the series, if only because it lasted about a minute after a Kane chair shot ended it. WINNER: Great Khali by disqualification (Grade: 0)

-After the match, Kane lays Khali’s leg over the steps and he drops the top part of the steps on the left leg multiple times. Clearly this is to get Khali off camera for a while.

Charlie Haas vs. R-Truth

During Truth’s entrance, out comes Drew McIntyre who says Truth got into an accident and couldn’t compete, so Haas wins by forfeit. WINNER: Charlie Haas (Grade: N/A)

-McIntyre extends his hand to Haas who shakes it. Then he turns around and McIntyre hits the double arm DDT.

Batista vs. Chris Jericho

Great return for the ANIMAL in a match with a stud like Chris Jericho. Raw is so top heavy right now that a change was necessary and this is huge for Smackdown right now. The crowd is stoked and the Animal wins. Not much more to say, it’s a typical Batista match and win. WINNER: Batista (Grade: 2)

-Backstage Josh Matthews is with Big Show who says that Batista got lucky tonight and if the Animal accepts his challenge for next week he won’t be so lucky. With that we’re out.

FINAL GRADE: C+

Drama’s Smackdown Report 8/28/09

Friday Night Smackdown!
August 28, 2009
Phoenix, Arizona
Jim Ross and Todd Grisham

-We start with a highlight package of Summerslam 5 days earlier.

OPENING ANIMATION

JR welcomes us to Phoenix, the home of Wrestlemania XXVI. Our main event tonight, Is Jeff Hardy enacting his rematch clause and will face World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk in a steel cage. Ring announcer Justin Roberts announces CM Punk as the only “straight edge World Heavyweight Champion” in history. Out comes a limping and smug CM Punk. With mike in hand he tells the fans he told them so. He said he would defeat Jeff Hardy at Summerslam to regain his World Heavyweight Title, and indeed unless the fans were too intoxicated, he did. We go to a video package recapping that match from Summerslam. Punk says he’s never felt more alive than he does right now, and he says none of the weak people in the audience have never felt that way because of all the shortcuts they’ve taken in their lives. He says the pain from the match is what makes him alive. He also reminds the audience that he’s taken no painkillers to alleviate the pain. He says unlike himself, the fans and Jeff Hardy load up on the extra strength medications. He says at Summerslam he not only suffered physical pain, but emotional pain. His moment in the spotlight was stolen from him by the evil incarnate: the Undertaker. We go back to the video and the aftermatch of the TLC. Punk says its unfair he has to wrestle in a steel cage match. He says it’s a conspiracy because the higher-ups are terrified of him. The fans don’t know how to respond to a straight edge champion. He’s a pioneer, and a role model that eventually the fans will have to accept. Suddenly the music hits and out comes former champion Jeff Hardy. Hardy’s ovation is great again, and he has a mike. He says he hopes Punk enjoys his 5 day reign as champion, because tonight it ends. Hardy says no one cares and no one has to listen to Punk’s rhetoric. The three main words to hear tonight are STEEL CAGE MATCH. Punk says Hardy’s probably intoxicated right now. He asks Hardy what medication it took to have the guts to come down and give him grief. Punk says the reality of Hardy and the people is that he’s sick of hearing the boos. He’s sick and tired of young, impressionable teens cheering someone like you. He says multiple times he’s fed up with Jeff Hardy, and that one of them doesn’t belong here anybody. So tonight, Punk says he wants to finish it. Not only will tonight’s match be for the World Heavyweight Title, but it will also be a Loser Leaves WWE match. Either these cloudy fans will get their cloudy champion, or these people will have to open their eyes and see reality. Hardy takes a minute and says that’s risky, but says it’s on! Then the Macmilitant comes out, and that is of course GM Teddy Long. Teddy says tonight’s match is official: It’s a World Heavyweight Championship Loser Leaves WWE. So the loser is out of a job, but the winner gets the privilege of defending the World Title in two weeks at Breaking Point, and it will be a submission match against….THE UNDERTAKER! Both Punk and Hardy look up at the cage.

We get a quick vignette stating the Undertaker will return next week.

John Morrison & Matt Hardy vs. Hart Dynasty

I think the best thing for Tyson & DH Smith is to go up against guys like Morrison & Hardy every week. Morrison will be rising up Smackdown’s ladder very quickly since someone on the roster will be gone after tonight’s main event. Both Kidd & Smith clearly know how to maneuver around the ring, but getting the heel swagger down is what the important thing now. Clearly Kidd is reminiscent of a mid-80’s Bret Hart. DH doesn’t quite have the outgoing personality of the Anvil, but he may eventually. A pretty good match with nice chemistry by the faces, ending with Morrison hitting Starship Pain on Kid Bulldog for the win. Once again, JR mentioned that when he sees John Morrison in the ring, he thinks of a young Shawn Michaels. Hmmmm….Wrestlemania 27? WINNERS: John Morrison & Matt Hardy (Grade: 2.5)

-Backstage Melina sees Maria and tells her that after Summerslam she saw Dolph Ziggler with another woman. Maria wouldn’t accept it and said that Melina was jealous of her. Melina says Maria needs to be careful and leaves. Dolph walks over to Maria and asks what’s wrong, and she questions him about the woman. Dolph says it was his sister Kristen, in town for Summerslam. Hmmmm…let’s get the Hurricane on the case.

Drew McIntyre vs. R-Truth

In the middle of R-Truth’s rap intro as he’s getting into the ring, Mcintyre punts Truth in the head and beats the crap out of him, including a double-arm DDT. Mcintyre takes the mike and says the fans like to be entertained. They like dancing and rapping. Well he says the party is over. Nice intro for a repackaged heel. WINNER: No Contest (Grade: N/A)

-We go to Women’s Champion Michelle McCool, who’s on crutches. She says the fans paid to see her perform, but Melina’s vicious attack last week gave her a knee injury that she’s not cleared to wrestle. Melina ruined the night for everybody.

Melina vs. Layla

Michelle McCool’s got a very dark, very almost spray-painted tan. I am starting to tire of these same Divas matches every week on Smackdown. I was getting excited with Melina and Gail Kim and everybody else. But with Kim and Maryse on Raw the Divas situation is again boring and bland. At least here Melina is extremely ingenious in the ring and comes up with some cool moves. Layla is getting into a pretty good groove as well in the ring. Again its not the matches that stink, it’s just the same opponents over and over again. Melina hits the very tough Primal Scream that not many can probably hit, and gets the quick win. WINNER: Melina (Grade: 1)

-After the match Melina heads outside and attacks Michelle McCool for the second straight week. After the break we have a recap of Summerslam Axxess. Man Batista’s huge. I hope they do Axxesses for all the Big 4 every year. Really make them special.

Intercontinental Champion Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

We reignite an old feud with our next match. Of course this was taped before Rey’s Wellness faux pas, so that’s why he’s on camera. I still don’t understand why Kane defeated Khali at Summerslam. Payback for their Wrestlemania match two years ago? Sometimes I just don’t understand booking. These two usually have pretty good matches together regardless of the size and speed differences. Rey is a pretty good bumper for bigger guys and this match was no different. Kane kept holding Rey in his hands and slammed him into the steel post outside 4 times before the ref disqualified him. WINNER: Rey Mysterio by disqualification (Grade: 2)

-The Great Khali comes in after the match and he and Kane brawl out to the crowd. Then Dolph Ziggler comes down and pummels a prone and injured Rey Mysterio.

Unified Tag Team Champion Chris Jericho vs. Shad Gaspard

Jericho takes the mike and says they are the most dominant team in WWE, and they are honest, forthcoming, and unified. I think its strange that Big Show didn’t wrestle either of these guys in singles matches. Before Summerslam Jericho faced JTG. Show has been in tags with Cryme Tyme, but no singles matches. The short match degenerates into a brawl with all 4 guys outside. Teddy Long comes out to say that now it’s a tag team rematch from Summerslam.

Unified Tag Team Champions Chris Jericho & Big Show vs. Cryme Tyme

After the break the match continues as a tag team match. This doesn’t help Cryme Tyme much since its already booked that the champs will face MVP & Mark Henry at Breaking Point. Nothing much here, as the champs win again, and Cryme Tyme is slowly heading back to the comedy ranks. WINNERS: Chris Jericho & Big Show (Grade: 2)

-Backstage Jeff Hardy is putting his facepaint on. Matt comes over to him and says tonight is a big gamble, but with Jeff that’s not a surprise. Matt says he respects his brother and to go out there and win his title back. Jeff says this is the ultimate example…of living in the moment. As we go to break the cage is lowering, our main event is next.

World Heavyweight Championship, Steel Cage: CM Punk © vs. Jeff Hardy

Punk attacks Jeff early and gets the early advantage by beating Jeff down outside before the match even officially started. The match is as good as you would expect once they got into the ring. It’s amazing how many matches these two have had since June. They met at Extreme Rules, Night of Champions, a couple of times on Smackdown, and at Summerslam. Now here they are, one final time for the Title or your job. Jeff tried multiple times to just duck out of the cage and win the title. It’s reminiscent of the Hart Brothers cage match from Summerslam 1994. Owen Hart didn’t want to beat up and pin Bret Hart, he wanted to win the title. That’s how Jeff Hardy wrestled this match, he just wanted to leave the cage and regain his gold. There’s a sweet moment where Jeff’s trying to escape from over the top of the cage, and CM Punk superplexed him back to the canvas. Eventually both men fought on top of the cage, but Punk thumbed Hardy’s eye and he hit the canvas. Punk falls to the floor, and Jeff Hardy’s career is over. WINNER: CM Punk (Grade: 3.5)

-After the match Hardy said he said he was sorry if he let anyone down and said he’s sorry they’ll be seeing Punk instead of him on Smackdown. “But it’s been one hell of a ride, hasn’t it?” he said. “I just want you to know that it’s not goodbye forever, it’s only goodbye for now,” Hardy said. “And if the time is right, I’m sure I’ll see you in the future. Thank you all. Hey, but at least Matt’s back on my side. There’s still a Hardy on this show.” Hardy walks up the ramp high-fiving fans, but then Punk ruins the moment and cracks Hardy in the head with the title belt. The show ends with another promo for Undertaker’s return next week. With that we’re out.

FINAL GRADE: B-

Summerslam 2009
August 23, 2009
Los Angeles, CA
Staples Center

Announcers: The teams of: Jim Ross & Todd Grisham, Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler, and Josh Matthews & Matt Striker

Opening Match, Intercontinental Championship: Rey Mysterio, Jr. vs. Dolph Ziggler

We right start off with a rematch from what was a pretty decent match at Night of Champions, so I’m expecting a good start to the show.  Ziggler gains early control with a rake of the eyes, and then gets a powerslam for 2, followed by a rollup for another 2.  He sends Rey to the corner, but Rey leaps up and comes off with a moonsault for 2.  Ziggler is back on him, but Rey ducks a charge and Ziggler goes out.  Rey hits a rana off the apron and then they get back in where they fight up top.  Rey knocks Ziggler down, but gets caught on a leap and dropped on the buckle for 2.  Ziggler pounds him down for another 2.  Side slam also gets 2, as does an elbow.  He then charges at Rey in the corner, but gets drop toed to the buckle.  Rey charges into a clothesline though for 2, and then gets hit with a super gutbuster for yet another 2 count.  Rey avoids a splash in the corner and hits a vertical press off the top.  He then springs off the ropes, but gets dropkicked for 2.  Rey goes for a sunset flip, but Ziggler hooks the legs and gets 2 again.  He follows with another clothesline for 2.  Rey gets out of a suplex and sets Ziggler up for a 619 via an ensiguiri, but Ziggler avoids it, trips Rey up, and then gets him with a Fameasser for 2.  Rey gets the boots up on a charge and hooks a spinning rollup for 2.  DDT gets Rey another 2.  He sets up and hits the 619, but the springboard splash misses and Ziggler gets a close 2 count with a half nelson.  The crowd gets some dueling chants going for these guys, which is a good sign.  Ziggler then sets Rey on his shoulders on the 2^nd rope, but Rey ranas him off of there and hooks the legs for the 3 count to retain at 12:26.  It may have something to do with match positioning, but the crowd here was more into them then they were last month, but they also had a better match too.  Is Ziggler a breakout star of the future?  He very well could be.  I liked his storytelling here as you could really feel his determination to take the Title and the frustration that set in once he lost.  Stuff like that helps get the belt over as well.  ****

Jack Swagger vs. MVP

Before the match we get a face to face promo which pretty much just reiterates the buildup of the spoiled brat vs. the ex-con thing they have going, but it was well done.  MVP gets an early sunset flip for 1, followed by a clothesline and side slam.  Swagger avoids the Ballin’ elbow by rolling out, so MVP dives on him.  Back in, that gets 2.  He sets up a tornado DDT, but gets swept off the ropes and dropped on the buckle.  Swagger gets an abdominal stretch, which MVP hiptosses out of, but Swagger then hits a clothesline for a couple of 2 counts.  To a rear chinlock, which the crowd has no patience for.  MVP drops him to break and covers for 2.  After a facebuster, the Ballin’ elbow hits, but only gets 2.  Playmaker is countered to a rollup by Swagger for 2.  He goes for the pump splash, but its hits knees and MVP connects with the Playmaker for 3 at 6:23.  Nothing much here, which is a shame because I like both guys. *

Unified Tag Team Championship Match: Chris Jericho & The Big Show vs. Cryme Tyme

Jericho and Show now have a new combined version of their respective entrance themes, which maybe suggests that they are in it together for the long haul.  The belts have seen an increase in prestige in recent times, but the problem now is that they don’t have any challengers with credibility, hence this match.  JTG and Jericho start off with JTG hitting an elbow and neckbreaker for 2.  Jericho nails him and looks to hook the Walls already, but JTG fights too much so Jericho catapults him instead, only to have JTG land on the ropes and come back with a vertical press for 2.  The ref pulls JTG away as Jericho is in the ropes, but that lets Jericho get the cheap shot in and he tags Show.  JTG is briefly caught, but manages to escape and tag Shad.  Shad tries to knock Show down, but can’t quite do it.  Jericho comes in and takes a press slam, but that lets Show come back with a clothesline.  Tag to Jericho now, who works Shad over until running into a boot.  He still manages to keep Shad in his corner though where he and Show double team.  Show gets the tag and briefly holds a full nelson before dropping it and tagging back out.  Jericho comes off the ropes, but gets powerslammed and that lets Shad make a cold tag to JTG who comes in as the house of ice, I guess.  He gets a dropkick, the Mugshot faceplant, and a clothesline for 2 with Show making the save.  Shad clotheslines Show to the floor while JTG rolls Jericho up for 2.  Jericho ducks a clothesline and hooks the walls.  JTG struggles and finally makes the ropes, only to have Show nail the Right Hand of Death as the ref drags Jericho off.  Shad has apparently already taken one, which we never saw, but it explains why he’s suddenly out cold on the floor.  Jericho then covers the KO’d JTG and gets the 3 to retain at 9:46.  It’s kind of funny that the announcers play up Show’s punch as being illegal, which I guess it technically is, but it’s not like this has been an issue for the last several decades of people using closed fists right in front of the ref and not getting DQ’d for it.  I wasn’t expecting much out of this match as Jericho is only so much of a miracle worker, and this was right about where I thought it might end up.  *1/2

Kane vs. The Great Khali (w/Ranjan Singh)

Boy, we all just couldn’t wait to see this one again, could we?  Kane beat up Ranjan Singh as part of the buildup here, and it was then revealed that Singh is Great Khali’s brother as though that’s supposed to make us care.  They go back and forth for a bit with neither guy holding an advantage for long.  Khali misses a legdrop and takes a seated dropkick for 2.  Kane’s chokeslam is blocked, then Khali hits a clothesline and drops an elbow for 2.  Kane comes back and gets a flying clothesline for 2.  Khali sends him off the ropes and gets an elbow followed by a big boot.  He hooks the vice grip, but Kane drags Singh in the ring.  He uses that distraction to dropkick the knee and hit a DDT for the 3 count at 5:58.  I’m being generous here in calling it a DUD.

Shawn Michaels & Triple H vs. Cody Rhodes & Ted Dibiase

So it’s another DX reunion as Shawn returns to the ring for the first time since Wrestlemania.  Who knows how many times they can keep going back to the well with this, but we’ll probably end up finding out.  Plus after all the times we’ve seen HHH dominate Rhodes and Dibiase one on two, is there really any intrigue here?  They did get the advantage recently on Raw, but come on.  HHH and Dibiase start with guess who in command.  Suplex and kneedrop get a 2 count, but HHH puts his head down on a whip and gets kicked.  Tag to Rhodes, who smacks Shawn on the apron, which is the cue for him to be tagged in as well.  They go back and forth for a bit until Shawn takes him down and pounds him, prompting a time out.  HHH tosses him right back in, so now he rolls out on his own side of the ring.  Back in, he gets drop toed and put in a side headlock, but ends up suplexing out.  Tag to Dibiase who misses an elbow and gets chopped.  Dibiase then hits a clothesline and tags back to Rhodes.  Rhodes drops an elbow for 2.  Michael Cole makes another of his Hall of Fame comments here as he calls the Legacy attack from last Monday “unprecedented”.  Really?  Like no heels have ever attacked their babyface opponents before a big match in the entire history of wrestling?  Legacy gets a couple of nearfalls with Shawn in their corner, but Shawn comes back with a neckbreaker and tags HHH who beats on both guys.  Dibiase gets him from behind and catapults him to the corner, but HHH comes out with a clothesline.  Spinebuster for both guys now and then he sets up the Pedigree on Dibiase, but Rhodes saves.  Shawn clotheslines Rhodes to the floor, and then has HHH backdrop him onto Rhodes.  Dibiase attacks HHH from behind, which has Cole aghast at the supposed illegality of that, but seems to catch himself before it can turn into a real gem of a dumbass comment.  Now HHH is the Face in Peril, caught in the Legacy corner as they tag off and pound him down.  Dibiase holds a rear chinlock and manages to keep HHH from crawling to the corner.  Legacy tags and Rhodes gets a front facelock, which HHH backdrops out of, but Dibiase attacks Shawn to prevent the tag.  Dibiase then charges at HHH, but gets tossed.  Rhodes helps him back in, but Dibiase goes for his own corner and tags Rhodes first, which allows HHH to make the hot tag to Shawn.  Shawn takes on Rhodes with no trouble, hitting a couple of inverted atomic drops and the flying forearm.  He kips up, but it’s right into a Dibiase clothesline.  HHH comes back in and takes Dibiase out, tossing him and even sending him into the crowd.  Meanwhile, Rhodes goes up top, but misses an elbow (Rhodes was trying to steal Shawn’s move there).  Shawn goes up now, but Rhodes meets him there and they fight on top.  Rhodes gets knocked back, but when Shawn goes for his own elbow, Rhodes gets the knees up.  Rhodes looks for the tag, but Dibiase is still down.  Shawn hooks the figure four, but now Dibiase is back to break it.  They go into a sequence of finishers that ends with Dibiase hitting Dream Street on Shawn only to get taken out by HHH.  Rhodes and Shawn struggle to their feet where Shawn hits Sweet Chin Music out of nowhere and that gets the pin at 20:01.  So DX wins, but on a good note they managed to do it in a way that didn’t bury Dibiase and Rhodes.  In fact, those guys were portrayed at a level just under Shawn and HHH and when you consider the level Shawn and HHH are portrayed at, that’s not a bad place to be.  ***

ECW Championship Match: Christian vs. William Regal (w/Vladimir Kozlov & Ezekiel Jackson)

Regal stalls on removing his robe until after the bell rings.  As he goes to take it off, Christian comes from behind, hits the Killswitch and gets 3 at 0:08.  Huh?  Kozlov and Jackson attack post match and Christian is left laying which obviously means that this issue will continue.  DUD

WWE Championship Match: Randy Orton vs. John Cena

So here we are with these guys again.  I think enough has been said about the staleness of the main event scene and the repetitiveness of matches, so let’s just move on and see what we get here.  My video kind of goes to hell during the introductions so I miss the first bit of the match.  It picks up with Orton to the Garvin Stomp on Cena, and then dropping a knee for 2.  Cena fires back to a round of boos, but takes a backbreaker for 2.  Orton holds a rear chinlock with a bodyscissors for a bit until Cena gets up and backs him to the corner to break.  He gets two shoulderblocks and the Protobomb, followed by the Five Knuckle Shuffle.  Orton avoids the Attitude Adjustment and connects with a powerslam for 2.  He gets another Garvin Stomp, but this time the kneedrop misses.  Orton ducks a charge and Cena goes flying out of the ring.  Back in, Orton gets 2 from that.  He sets up the punt, but Cena avoids it and hits the Throwback.  Top rope legdrop hits and gets 2.  He sets up the AA again, but Orton grabs the ropes to save himself.  After a double clothesline, they trade some shots.  Orton gets sent off and takes a backdrop, then shoves the ref to draw the disqualification.  Lillian Garcia screws up the announcement by calling Orton the winner and new champion, but then also announces that Mr. McMahon has ordered the match to continue with the stipulation that Orton can lose the Title via DQ.  Back in the ring, Cena gets a side slam for 2.  They brawl to the floor, where my video goes to hell once again, and this time doesn’t return until the match is over.  So I only saw about half of this match.  Looking up we happened I see that Orton went on to be counted out, but the match was restarted again.  Then he got a pin with his feet on the ropes, but they didn’t let that count either.  Then with Cena holding the STF, Brett Dibiase runs in and takes out the ref, but they still keep going.  Finally after all that, Orton ends up hitting the RKO for the pin to retain the Title.  Sounds like they made Cena look real bad there.  I can’t rate it obviously, but the action that I did see was no better or worse then any of the previous Cena Orton matches, although I’m certain the finish would have knocked it down a few notches.

Main Event, World Heavyweight Championship TLC Match: Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk

Well, it’s been no secret that this was going to be Jeff’s last PPV for at least awhile, so that means that he’s likely to lose and to go all out in doing so.  The match goes to the floor pretty quickly where Punk uses a chair.  Back in, Jeff stomps him in the corner and hits the seated corner dropkick, which on the eve of his departure finally has a name: the Hardyac Arrest.  He tosses Punk and climbs, but Punk makes it back to stop him.  Punk then sets up the GTS, but Jeff slips out and sends Punk into the ladder.  Punk drops him back first on a set up chair, which probably isn’t too comfortable.  He then drops the ladder on him several times.  They go to the floor, where Punk gets the chair around Jeff’s neck, but Jeff escapes the shot to the post.  Punk misses a chairshot and gets sent to the stairs, but he leaps up and comes back off, only to get hit with a chairshot anyways.  Jeff then gets Poetry in Motion off the chair in to the barrier.  Jeff ends up climbing again, but Punk knocks the ladder over and Jeff crotches himself.  They then do a superplex onto the ladder.  Hardy recovers first and hits a Twist of Fate, but the Swanton hits knees.  Punk sets up the bulldog, but Jeff counters by throwing him over the top through a table.  Jeff climbs, but Punk makes it back for the save.  On the outside, Punk tries the chair around the neck thing again, but once more Jeff escapes it.  He sends Punk to the steps, and then just stars going nuts, beating Punk with everything that isn’t nailed down before finally setting him up on an announce table.  He then pulls a huge ladder into position and does a crazy Swanton off the top and onto Punk.  They sell that huge by having the EMT’s come out to check on them.  Jeff gets carted out on a stretcher, but he sees that Punk is going for the belt, so he pulls the neckbrace off and gets back to make the save.  They both end up on the ladder, but it’s Punk who is able to knock Jeff down, and as a result he is able to grab the belt for the win at 19:41.  A really good match, as expected, and although it wasn’t quite his sendoff match, it was still a good way to go out for Jeff Hardy.  ****

Post match sees Undertaker make his return to end the show with a chokeslam on Punk, signaling that he’s coming after the belt now.  Unfortunately though I smell a massive screwjob at Breaking Point because the two options would seem to be that Taker wins the Title, which would be a quick turnaround and kill a lot of the progress they’ve made with Punk as a heel, or have Taker submit, which we know will never happen in a million years.

Well, two of the big three matches delivered the goods, plus we got another really good one in the opener.  Has I been able to see the full Orton/Cena match with the stupid sounding finish it might drag things down but as it is I can only go with a neutral opinion on that one and I think that means that the show earns itself a Thumbs Up.  The rest of the card doesn’t really have anything worthwhile so that part can be skipped if you like, but in particular the opener and the TLC Match are worth seeking out.

Former Ring of Honor and independent circuit star Bryan Danielson has greed to a contract with the WWE. He will fulfill his obligations through September for ROH and move to the WWE.

Here are the results from Summerslam:

Jack Swagger L vs MVP W

The Great Khali L vs Kane W

Unified Tag Team Title Match: Chris Jericho and  The Big Show (c) W vs Cryme Tyme (Shad and JTG) L

ECW Title Match: Christian (c) W vs William Regal L

Intercontinental Title Match: Rey Mysterio (c) W vs Dolph Ziggler L

World Heavyweight Title TLC Match: Jeff Hardy(c) L vs CM Punk W

WWE Title Match: Randy Orton (c) W vs John Cena L

D-Generation X (Triple H and Shawn Michaels) W vs Legacy (Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase Jr.) L

Dark Match – 15-Diva Battle Royal
Beth Phoenix last eliminated Kelly Kelly & Eve Torres

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match
Rey Mysterio [Champion] defeated Dolph Ziggler

Singles Match
Montel Vontavious Porter defeated Jack Swagger

Unified WWE Tag Team Championship Match
Chris Jericho & The Big Show [Champions] defeated Cryme Tyme [Shad Gaspard & JTG]

Singles Match
Kane defeated The Great Khali [with Ranjin Singh]

Tag Team Match
D-Generation X [Triple H & Shawn Michaels] defeated The Legacy [Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase]

ECW Championship Match
Christian [Champion] defeated William Regal [with Vladimir Kozlov & Ezekiel Jackson]

WWE Championship Match
Randy Orton [Champion] defeated John Cena

Tables, Ladders & Chairs Match For The World Heavyweight Championship
CM Punk defeated Jeff Hardy [Champion] to win the title.

Here is the match card for Summerslam tonight:

Jack Swagger vs MVP

The Great Khali vs Kane

Unified Tag Team Title Match: Chris Jericho and  The Big Show (c) vs Cryme Tyme (Shad and JTG)

ECW Title Match: Christian (c) vs William Regal

Intercontinental Title Match: Rey Mysterio (c) vs Dolph Ziggler

World Heavyweight Title TLC Match: Jeff Hardy(c) vs CM Punk

WWE Title Match: Randy Orton (c) vs John Cena

D-Generation X (Triple H and Shawn Michaels) vs Legacy (Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase Jr.)

My Predictions:

Let me start off by saying that this may be one of weakest cards on paper that I have seen at Summerslam in a very long time.

I think MVP should beat Swagger, but the push that Swagger is getting confuses me because there are more talented and more experienced wrestlers who deserve it.  Ultimately, I am going to have Swagger win this one.

In the Khali/Kane feud, almost everyone I talk to thinks the sooner this ends the better. I would love to see another Kane/Taker feud, but that probably will not happen for a while. This will be a very telling point in the WWE career of Khali. If he doesn’t look good losing to Kane tonight, I would not be shocked to see him gone from the company.

The tag team of Jericho and Big Show has been a really nice addition to the lack luster tag team division in the WWE. In a post I will do later this week, I’ll rate the tag teams in the WWE and TNA and do a tournament to see who would come out on top so keep a look out for that. With almost no storyline put into this match, I can’t see Cryme Tyme winning the match, so I’ll give the nod to Show and Jericho.

The Christian/Regal match is the one I am most intrigued by. I have been waiting a while for Regal to get some kind of push and I really like the dynamic of this match. Christian usually gives a good match and Regal should provide a formidable opponent. If I was to book this match, I would have Ezekiel Jackson and Vladomir Koslov come into to distract Christian and Regal to roll him up for the victory. I think Regal will take this one.

I will be the first to admit it: I was unimpressed by Dolph Ziggler, but he has grown on me. He is very technically sound and I feel they may need to truely develop a new star and I think he is ready to take the title from Mysterio.

The TLC match is going to be a very interesting match. In the WWE’s struggle to be more PG, how in the world does a TLC match, which is one of the most dangerous matches, fit into that category? I think both men will do very well and make the match work in CM Punk’s favor. I just think this match might be a little much.

Cena/Orton 800 is the match I care least about. At this point, I do not care who wins this match. I just hope one loses to Jericho in the next few months because I am really tired of seeing the title cycle between 3 or 4 guys. I think Orton will keep the title.

I had a feeling about 3 or 4 months ago that we could see DX again and I feel like this is perfect timing. It puts another tag team, which I feel could take the titles, on the map and its nice to see Rhodes and DiBiase as something other than Orton’s lackeys. I think DX is going to take this one.

Monday Night Raw 7/27/09
Verizon Center
Washington DC
Announcers: Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler

- OK, I am going to try out a new format. I am going to cut out the full play-by-play and just give the highlights of the promos and matches while infusing more opinion into each segment. Hope you enjoy it!

- We open up this weeks show in the arena where Jerry Lawler joins us. He runs down the resume of this week’s Guest Host and then brings him out…Shaquille O’Neal! Shaq struts out and heads to the ring as Cole welcomes us to Raw. Shaq heels it up and tells the crowd that LeBron James said hello. He is in charge and it is his show. Shaq makes Lawler look like a midget. Shaq announces a Beat the Clock Challenge to determine Randy Orton’s challenger at Summerslam. He then runs down the contestants: Triple H, MVP, Jack Swagger, Mark Henry and John Cena. Shaq pumps up the crowd a bit but he is interrupted by Chris Jericho. They do the epic staredown as the crowd buzzes. Jericho gets a great Kobe Bryant dig in on Shaq and then puts over his new team with Big Show. Shaq calls him Christina and kisses his forehead. Shaq tussles with his hair as Jericho seethes. Jericho has been disrespected and is the best in the world and he demands to be consulted with. Jericho threatens problems with Shaq but Shaq doesn’t seem too intimidated as he gets in Jericho’s face. Jericho proudly brings out Big Show for the big showdown. Show is decked out in a suit and is looking quite dapper. They go toe to toe and Show is only slightly shorter, but not by much. The crowd is really digging this. Show rags on Shaq’s free throw shooting and then calls him slim before telling him to leave. Shaq calls Show fat and plugs his new TV show. He challenges Show to a match here tonight. Show thinks things over and doesn’t care for the ensuing legal fallout that would occur when he kills Shaq. Show says he won’t fight…and Jericho steps in and says he won’t either. That was funny. Shaq said he was ready for them to back down from the challenge, so he hired a team for them to face tonight. And it’s Cryme Tyme! They head out and back up Shaq as the champs head off for higher ground. Shaq also tells them that he will be the special outside enforcer. That was a fun opening segment as Shaq was having a good time and Jericho was just fantastic out there, natch.

1) Mark Henry vs. Carlito in a Beat the Clock match

Somebody’s going to get their wings clipped as Mark Henry comes out to kick off the Beat the Clock challenge. Carlito is his challenger and is looking awfully angry as he heads out. Carlito is wise to start as he bails to the floor to eat up time and screw Henry. He keeps dodging Henry and the crowd doesn’t seem to care for that. Henry uses his power to take over and keep Carlito in the ring. Henry continues to overpower Carlito, picking up some near falls. This is going a bit too long. Henry really should have been the guy to shred his opponent and get a quick win to move on. Carlito is still able to hang in as we pass the three minute mark. Henry keeps watching the clock but can’t seem to put Carlito away. He misses a sit down splash and Carlito goes on the offensive. Carlito is just getting way too much offense here as he locks on a reverse chinlock. The story they are telling isn’t bad, it just isn’t the right time for it. The crowd was hot when it started and a Henry squash would have really kept things rocking, but instead they worked a slow paced match that kind of put a dent in Henry’s superman image they have been cultivating. Henry finally turns things around and drops the World’s Strongest Slam to finally put away the pesky Carlito. Like I said, that wasn’t a bad match, but it was just the wrong time to put it out there. Henry d. Carlito with the World’s Strongest Slam; Grade: 1.5

Time to Beat: 6:49

- Henry celebrates as we head off to break.

- The Verizon Wireless Rewind takes us back to last night when Mickie James knocked off Maryse to win the Divas Championship.

- We are back live and checking out the Washington Monument. Back inside, we are being joined by some of the Washington Redskins, led by Jason Campbell.

2) Mickie James, Kelly & Gail Kim vs. Beth Phoenix, Rosa Mendes & Alicia Fox

Mickie leads out Kelly and Gail for our next match. Their opponents are already in the ring and it looks like those Beth pregnancy rumors were false as she starts off the match against Gail. She looks strong to start as she pounds on Gail. King is flying solo here as Cole went to get an interview with Shaq. Alicia comes in and works over Gail as the crowd tries to rally her. The heels work some quick tags but Gail finally battles back and tags in Mickie. I am kind of surprised that Maryse isn’t involved here. I guess they are moving on to a new challenger. Mickie gets two on Alicia off a nice neckbreaker. The match carries on until Gail picks up the win with a missile dropkick on Alicia. Beth is not happy as she glares at Mickie from the apron. Match was nothing and was basically a showcase for Mickie with a nice win from Gail. Gail, Mickie & Kelly d. Beth, Rosa & Alicia when Gail pins Alicia with a missile dropkick; Grade: .5

- Backstage, Cole catches up with Shaq and puts him over a bit. Hornswoggle comes in and they do the showdown. Shaq drops to a knee and they embrace. Shaq says they went to high school together and then asks Horny to dunk on a hoop he has back there. Horny misses and falls hard to the ground and Cole says it was Shaq-a-licious and wants a dap but Shaq just shakes his head as we go to break.

3) MVP vs. Chris Masters in a Beat the Clock match

MVP makes his way out as we return. He must beat Henry’s time of 6:49 to move on in the Challenge. And, whoa, the Masterpiece is back! Chris Masters is looking quite ripped and lean as he hits the ring. MVP works hot out of the gate, trying his best to get a quick win. I wonder if Masters jobs here or actually wins to start a feud. Masters gains control and grounds MVP. King is putting over Masters and the Masterlock big right out of the gate. It is like 2006 all over again! Masters keeps trying to apply the Masterlock but MVP is able to avoid it. I like that MVP is working a quick pace to put over the Clock gimmick. We dip under four minutes as Masters tosses MVP to the floor. Masters is able to keep MVP on the floor and lock him in the Masterpiece to cause a double countout. That will eliminate MVP from Beat the Clock, which is a bad move. This could have been a good chance to really give MVP a high profile match, but it looks like he is ticketed for a feud with Masters. The match wasn’t bad as MVP was working to get the quick pinfall but it had a weak finish. MVP and Chris Masters wrestle to a double countout; Grade: 1.5

Time to Beat: 6:49

- MVP is pissed off as Masters coolly heads off and we go to break.

4) The Brian Kendrick vs. Kofi Kingston

We are back and Kendrick is in the ring and putting the stink eye on the King. Kofi is out next, but Kendrick has the mic and is tearing into Lawler over last week’s confrontation. Kendrick keeps rambling on until Kofi runs over and drills him with the TIP for the easy win. I have no idea where any of this is heading for Kendrick. Kingston d. Kendrick with the Trouble in Paradise; Grade: 0

- Cole calls Kofi “titillating” as he celebrates his win. Triple H is walking backstage, but Ted DiBiase assaults him from behind and drills his leg with a club. He takes off as Hunter pulls himself up and hobbles around and we head to break.

5) Cody Rhodes vs. Triple H in a Beat the Clock match

When we return, Cody Rhodes hits the ring. He is looking to prevent Triple H from beating Henry’s time of 6:49. We get some stills from last night’s WWE Championship match, where Randy Orton outlasted Triple H and John Cena thanks to the help of his Legacy stablemates. Hunter slowly hobbles out as we hit the top of the hour. They really need to have Legacy just run interference and cost Triple H the challenge here. They should let Henry’s longer time stand for a change of pace with these Challenges. Cody mocks Hunter’s leg injury as the match starts up. Hunter may not understand the concept here as he slowly works Cody over in the early goings. Cole tells us that Hunter knows he has time to work with but King disagrees with that strategy. Cody is able to turn things around and works the dinged up leg. The crowd is into Triple H here tonight. Cole thinks Rhodes has marching orders from Orton to prevent Triple H from advancing. Cody is doing a nice job of grounding Hunter to eat up time, including hooking in a figure four. Hunter finally starts to battle back as we are under 1:00 on the clock. He drills Cody with a spinebuster and the crowd is roaring. DiBiase appears and starts yelling at Triple H from the apron. Triple H jaws back at him before finally turning back to Cody. His leg hobbles him a bit and he finally hits the Pedigree but it is too little, too late and Hunter is eliminated! I am glad they pulled the trigger on that to mix things up a bit. Rhodes and Triple H wrestle to a time limit draw; Grade: 2

Time to Beat: 6:49

- Hunter is not very happy as Cole wonders if Swagger or Cena can beat Henry’s time, Backstage, Shaq and Santino are playing Scrabble. Santino thinks shenanigans are afoot since Shaq used “Shaqtus” as a word and had a whole bunch of “Q” tiles. Cryme Tyme head in and they talk about beating the champions later tonight. The three men bust out the “Money” rap until Santino interrupts and does a bomb ass freestyle. He even works in an Angelina Jolie adoption joke. Santino and Cryme Tyme head out as Shaq goes back to his scrabble board.

- We are back and checking out the Jefferson Memorial. Cole puts over the job Shaq has done while King wonders if Shaq is putting his career in jeopardy by being the enforcer later tonight.

6) Hornswoggle vs. Chavo Guerrero

Shaq’s fellow high school alumnus makes his way out for another match with Chavo Guerrero. Chavo is looking awfully chipper for someone with a recent losing streak like he currently has. Lillian announces that Shaq has ordered Chavo to compete blindfolded. Chavo is none too pleased as the referee makes him put the blindfold on. Chavo stumbles around a bit as Cole asks King for some strategy tips. King says the only way to win is to peak. Chavo gets a hold of Horny but he is able to escape through the ref’s legs. Horny gets a back suplex for two but Chavo is able to peak and hit a dropkick. Chavo tries to find his way to the top rope but Horny just sneaks around behind him as he climbs up. Chavo tries to peak, but the ref stops him. So, he puts the hood back down and just leaps for it. Of course, he eats the mat as Horny was standing behind him. Horny heads up and drops the Tadpole Splash for the win to run his record to 4-0. This was nothing but comedy fodder, as usual. Hornswoggle d. Guerrero with the Tadpole Splash; Grade: .5

- Backstage, Orton is admiring his title when Jack Swagger walks in. Swagger says he will beat the clock and tells Orton he is bigger, strong and younger so Randy should be scared. Swagger heads off as Mark Henry saunters in. He stares at Orton and then laughs as we go to break.

- We are back and checking out some servicemen and women that are with us in the arena tonight.

7) Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne in a Beat the Clock match

Mr. Swagger is out and he has to put away his opponent in under 6:49 to advance here. Evan Bourne is back in action after that nasty bump at the hands of Big Show a few weeks back. Swagger tries to ground Bourne but Evan is able to rally a bit. Swagger uses his size to regain control and starts to work the arm. I love Swagger’s crisp offense and it looks even better with Bourne taking the bumps. Bourne heads up top but Swagger catches him as we tick under 4:00. King compares Bourne to a young Mysterio and the comparison may be true as he steals an upset win on Swagger! Bourne rolled through a Gutwrench attempt with a small package and knocks Swagger out of the Challenge. Bourne beats Swagger with a small package; Grade: 2

Time to Beat: 6:49

- Swagger is stunned as Cole unveils our final Beat the Clock Challenge match: John Cena vs. Miz. That match is coming up after this next break.

- We are back and Cole tells us that Jeremy Piven will be hosting Raw next week. And that is awesome news as Ari Gold will be in the house at Mohegan Sun. He and King then recap Triple H’s Beat the Clock match from earlier tonight. Backstage, Josh Matthews is with Triple H. Hunter is mad at himself for not seeing the Legacy issue sooner. He has been going straight at Orton when he should have eliminated Rhodes & DiBiase first. He is done playing games and next week he wants Rhodes & DiBiase next week. He tells them he is a guy they shouldn’t screw with before heading off.

John Cena vs. Miz in a Beat the Clock match

Back at ringside, Lillian Garcia introduces the Miz as he looks to spoil Cena’s chances in the Beat the Clock Challenge. Miz has a mic and talks about his love of the Cleveland Cavs. He says they should sit Shaq against the Wizards to keep him fresh since the Cavs will win anyway. The opposing team always dominates the Washington teams and then let the clock tick down until the soul crushing conclusion and that is what he is going to do to Cena right now. He doesn’t have to beat Cena; he just has to last 6:49. Miz takes a dig at Obama and says he can last the time because he is awesome. Outside of the Obama crack, that was a great promo. We take a quick break as Miz starts to taunt the crowd. When we return, Randy Orton has made his way out to observe this contest. Cena makes his way out to an enormous pop and even he seems a bit overwhelmed. The bell sounds and the clock is running as the crowd is chanting for Cena. Miz sticks to his strategy to start as he dodges Cena and milks the clock. He bails to the floor and stalls as long as he can before being counted out. Cena catches him coming in and it is on. Henry is looking on backstage as Miz takes over the match. I hope Henry advances because they really need a fresh matchup for Summerslam. Miz tosses Cena to the floor and into the steps as we are at 3:40. Cena beats the ref’s count back in but Miz ties him in the ropes as the clock is now approaching 2:30. Cena finally breaks loose and locks in the STF. Miz tries to fight it, but he finally taps and Cena advances to Summerslam. Cena d. Miz with the STF; Grade: 1

- Randy Orton hops in the ring and stares down Cena as our Summerslam title match is officially set. Well, at least Triple H is out of it. We see Shaq walking backstage as we head to break.

- We are back and thanking Aerosmith for the groovy Summerslam theme song. Cole talks about next week’s show as Triple H will take on Rhodes & DiBiase and Jeremy Piven will be in charge. I wonder if Shawn Michaels will return to set up a Summerslam tag showdown.

9) Cryme Tyme vs. Chris Jericho & Big Show in a non tile match

Shaq makes his way out for our non title main event. Jericho is out first, followed by Show and then Cryme Tyme. This is actually a pretty big spot for Cryme Tyme but they don’t have much time left to make it count. JTG and Jericho kick things off as Cole and King put over Shaq one more time. JTG has some good offense and I think he could be a solid midcard singles face down the road with his charisma. Jericho tags in Show and the champs take control as Cole starts his usual talk about Show’s hands. Shaq is rooting for CT as Show just glares at him. JTG takes a nice bump off Show’s spear. Jericho comes back and keeps JTG down as we are well into an overrun on USA right now. Shaq gives JTG an assist and he finally tags in Shad. Jericho to slow him up and goes for the Walls, but Shad flips loose. CT double team Jericho but Show comes in and totally decimates CT to draw the weak DQ. Cryme Tyme d. Show & Jericho by disqualification; Grade: 2

- Show tosses CT aside and calls for Shaq. Shaq takes his shirt off to a huge pop. Shaq hops in the ring and shoves Show. Show grabs Shaq by the throat but Shaq returns the favor and starts choking out Show. This is an awesome moment. CT comes in to help and Shaq knocks Show to the floor with a big shoulderblock. CT and Shaq celebrate and Cole plugs next week as we fade out. See you next week!

Final Grade: C+

MVP: Shaquille O’Neal
Runner Up: John Cena
Non MVP: MVP
Runner Up: The Brian Kendrick

Dark Match
Cryme Tyme [Shad Gaspard & JTG] defeated The Hart Dynasty [Tyson Kidd & David Hart Smith]

Unified WWE Tag Team Championship Match
Chris Jericho & The Big Show [Champions] defeated The Legacy [Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase]

ECW Championship Match
Christian defeated Tommy Dreamer [Champion] to win the title.

Six-Pack Challenge For The WWE United States Championship
Kofi Kingston [Champion] defeated Montel Vontavious Porter, The Miz, Carlito, Jack Swagger & Primo

WWE Women’s Championship Match
Michelle McCool [Champion] defeated Melina

Triple Threat Match For The WWE Championship
Randy Orton [Champion] defeated Triple H & John Cena

WWE Divas Championship Match
Mickie James defeated Maryse [Champion] to win the title.

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match
Rey Mysterio [Champion] defeated Dolph Ziggler [With Maria]

World Heavyweight Championship Match
Jeff Hardy defeated CM Punk [Champion] to win the title.

Drama’s Smackdown Report 7/24/09

Friday Night Smackdown!
July 24, 2009
Richmond, Virginia
Jim Ross and Todd Grisham

-We go back to last week with the tag team main event.

OPENING ANIMATION

JR welcomes us to Richmond, and tonight it’s Champion vs. Champion as CM Punk takes on Rey Mysterio. But first we’re joined by the #1 contender, and CM Punk’s opponent this Sunday at Night of Champions. Jeff takes the mike as the crowd seems very emotional. The rumors about Jeff not coming back when his contract is up continue to percolate. Jeff says last week CM Punk said he was nothing more than a statistic and a poor example to the fans. Jeff says after Night of Champions the wave of emotions will ride him straight to the World Heavyweight Championship. Jeff says his opponent tonight Chris Jericho should worry more about tonight and less about who his partner will be Sunday.

Jeff Hardy vs. Unified WWE Tag Team Champion Chris Jericho

These two have had great matches in the past dating back to early 2003, but this is a very neutered tv match. Jericho’s future is in a bit of doubt, not job security, but more because with Edge clearly on the shelf for a while, Y2J may be given a more high profile slot. However with Punk clearly sliding into the heel column, Jericho’s not the only one at the top of the heel ladder. Jericho dominated the tempo in this match, but eventually the pace went back and forth as both guys would attempt to hit their big spots. Jericho would get the Walls on Jeff, but he would get to the ropes. Jericho would try again, but Jeff would hit Whisper in the Wind. Jericho would hit the Codebreaker out of nowhere but Jeff rolled all the way outside. Jericho would get the dead weight back in, but Hardy would kick out at 2. Eventually a winded Jeff would hit the Twist of Fate, but Jericho would disrupt the Swanton attempt. Jeff would then kick Jericho off the top rope, hit the Swanton and win what turned out to be a great back and forth match. WINNER: Jeff Hardy (Grade: 3)

-Backstage and Michelle McCool is getting her hair done and talking highly of herself, until Melina comes over. She says she enacted her rematch clause at Night of Champions, then throws makeup at McCool.

-We return from break with a short vignette on John Morrison.

The Great Khali vs. Mike Knox

Where has Mike Knox been? Wow his beard has gotten really Bruiser Brody long. He’s gotten a little plump. The match goes about 2 minutes before Kane comes out to the ramp. Khali came out during Kane’s match with John Morrison on this week’s Superstars. The match continues, but it doesn’t matter, as Khali drops that powerbomb to win the match. This feud with Kane will have a lot of time to marinate until Summerslam. WINNER: Great Khali (Grade: 1.5)

-Kane comes down to the apron, but won’t get in the ring. He instead walks back up the ramp.

-We return from break with this week’s edition of “WORD UP”, and Cryme Tyme says this week’s word is “GOAT”, which is an acronym for “Greatest of All Time” as they pimp the new Tag Team DVD. The Hart Dynasty comes over to start stuff and new ghetto Jesse comes in to actually get some funny lines in on them. Enjoying that mini-feud.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Finlay

Before the match Ziggler gets the mike and says he’s not much into introductions, but after Sunday he’ll be known as Intercontinental Champion. Maria came out with Ziggler, which is funny because they always put her with heels when she’s a babyface. Finlay needs to bring his heel music back, even though he’s a face. The happy-go-lucky Irishman music doesn’t work without Hornswoggle. Ziggler spent the match beating on Finlay’s arm, until Finlay took control for some time. Maria looks over Ziggler outside after Finlay clotheslined him, which makes Finlay back off and Ziggler hits Finlay with some type of move that kept Finlay to the floor on the 10 count. WINNER: Dolph Ziggler by countout (Grade: 2)

-Backstage and an iced down Chris Jericho is chatting with Kane, as the speculation continues as to who his partner will be at Night of Champions.

-We return from break and are joined by the World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk. The crowd’s not cheering, but they’re not really booing either. Punk needs to slide really far in either direction. Punk says he’s come out to challenge the WWE Universe to see things his way. He says those who cheer Jeff Hardy are slaves to his vices. Punk says he feels sorry for those who walk around with prescriptions on their sleeves. Punk preaches about drinking, smoking and taking recreational and prescription drugs. He tells the fans they’ll never be able to live a “straight edge” lifestyle. They’ll never be able to eliminate the vices. Punk is cut off by Jeff Hardy, who comes out and tells Punk he has a lot of nerve doing what he’s doing tonight. Jeff says Punk has forgotten what it’s like to be human. Punk says he will not enable Jeff right now, and leave the ring. So he does. Good segment that ended kind of strange.

Eve Torres vs. Natalya

Natalya has gotten pretty damn hot again, and as I mentioned earlier this is a great Smackdown feud for both sides. Cryme Tyme accompanies her to the ring, as they’ve done 10 times more stuff here than on Raw. Natalya shows off her goods with a slick bow and arrow on Eve, who’s slowly getting better with each match. To prove that she hits a pretty sweet moonsault to get the victory. Very impressive and keeps the feud going. WINNER: Eve Torres (Grade: 2)

-Backstage Khali is with Runjin Singh until Chris Jericho comes in the room. He tells Khali that he’s one of the frontrunners for his partner at Night of Champions. Khali politely refuses.

R-Truth vs. Charlie Haas

Haas suddenly looks like Christian. As much as I like his teaming with old partner Shelton Benjamin, now that Shelton’s on ECW Haas should go back to his old gimmick of impersonating other wrestlers. It was really funny. Good back and forth match, as after a really hot start, R-Truth seems to have gotten lost in the shuffle. I’m getting concerned he’ll be a “future endeavors” casualty. I certainly hope not. Haas misses a charge in the corner and Truth hits that spinning leg drop to get the win. WINNER: R-Truth (Grade: 2.5)

-We return from break and JR and Todd do the stand-up in the ring like Cole and King do on Raw. Of course Night of Champions is this Sunday in Philly.
The card:
WWE Championship Triple Threat match: Randy Orton © vs. John Cena vs. Triple H
WWE Unified Tag Team Championship: Chris Jericho & a mystery partner © vs. Legacy
Intercontinental Championship: Rey Mysterio © vs. Dolph Ziggler
World Heavyweight Championship: CM Punk © vs. Jeff Hardy
United States Championship Six-Pack Challenge: Kofi Kingston © vs. Big Show vs. Carlito vs. Miz vs. MVP vs. Jack Swagger
ECW Championship: Tommy Dreamer © vs. Christian
Women’s Championship: Michelle McCool © vs. Melina
Divas Championship: Maryse © vs. Mickie James

World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk vs. Intercontinental Champion Rey Mysterio

Good start to this match as both guys do some nice chain wrestling maneuvers and Punk is really letting his heel side show, the side he had when he was champ in Ring of Honor. I wonder if he’ll die his hair blonde like he had during that summer of 2005 when he was ROH Champion. He and Samoa Joe had those ridiculous 60 minute wars. Punk worked over Rey’s left shoulder/arm during a majority of the match, Punk pulls off this nice move where he carried Rey on his back while clamping Rey’s arms together. Dolph Ziggler actually comes down the ramp about halfway through the match to check things out. Rey eventually hits the 619 and the West Coast Pop, but going for the 3 count Ziggler breaks the count and ends the match. Rey then goes for the 619 on Ziggler but Punk throws him down in mid-move. Punk leaves the ring and Ziggler hits that behind DDT-type move. Punk just went up the ramp and let Ziggler beat Rey down, until Jeff Hardy runs down to save Rey from the beatdown, but Punk comes back into the ring and hits the GTS on Hardy to end the show.

FINAL GRADE: B-

Sorry for being a little late on this: I was with students until very late (aka babysitting)

ECW
1. Yoshi Tatsu (2)
2. Zack Ryder (6)
3. Kozlov
4. Tiffany (3)
5. Tommy Dreamer (2)
6. Shelton Benjamin (5)
7. Christian (1)

Raw

Raw

1. Big Show (7)
Orton would be ranked number one if he kicked Seth Green in the head. Show has wins over Kofi and Evan Bourne this week.
2. Randy Orton (1)
3. HHH (4)
4. Rhodes and Dibiase (2)
5. John Cena (3)
6. Jack Swagger (10)
7. Mark Henry (5)
8. Carlito
9. Kofi Kingston (6)
10. The Miz (8)
11. Evan Bourne (12)
12. Hornswoggle

Smackdown

1. Dolph Ziggler (1)
2. Kane (3)
3. CM Punk (2)
4. John Morrison (6)
5. Jeff Hardy (5)
6. Rey Mysterio (4)
7. Cryme Tyme (8)
8. Hart Dynasty (9)
9. Chris Jericho (7)
10. R Truth (10)
11. Michelle McCool
12. Mike Knox – just reminding everyone that he is on smackdown and still on the roster. maybe he got suspended for steroids because he has dissappeared.

TNA
1. Kurt Angle (3)
2. Samoa Joe (6)
3. Sting (1)
4. British Invasion (4)
5. Beer Money
6. Homicide (12)
7. Beautiful People (11)
8. Matt Morgan (2)
9. Mick Foley (9)
10. The rest of the Main Event Mafia (Nash, Booker T, and Scott Steiner)
11. Motor City Machine Guns
12. Suicide

Drama’s Smackdown Report 7/10/09

Friday Night Smackdown!
July 10, 2009
Roanoke, Virginia
Jim Ross and Todd Grisham

OPENING ANIMATION

JR welcomes us to Smackdown, as tonight Chris Jericho uses his rematch clause and tonight will face Rey Mysterio for the Intercontinental Title. First off, an appearance from the #1 contender for the World Heavyweight Championship. Jeff Hardy takes the mike, wearing an eyepatch over his right eye. Jeff says last week in the middle of his tag team match with CM Punk, tragedy struck. We go back to last week when Punk’s eye, then Hardy’s eye went out. Hardy says his eye was burning, but after the match he says Punk wouldn’t come see how he was doing. Hardy says unlike Punk, he doesn’t fake injuries, kick referees, and forfeit matches. Hardy says his eye injury is as serious as CM Punk’s.

Jeff Hardy vs. Kane

Jeff with right hands but Kane pushes off. Jeff with more right hands and Kane pushes off. Jeff with a kick and Kane charges, but Jeff pulls the top rope and Kane hits the floor. Jeff then planchas on top of Kane outside. Outside Jeff with right hands but Kane throws him to the ground. Kane rolls back into the ring. Jeff comes in and Kane picks him up for a slam, but Jeff slides out the back door and hits a right hand. Jeff comes off the ropes and Kane with a clothesline for 2. Kane with some clubs and boots. Jeff gets up and goes for the Twist of Fate but Kane reverses, drops Jeff on the top rope, and boots him in the head. Jeff rolls to the floor and we hit our first commercial. Back from break and Kane is still working Jeff over. Kane with a low drop kick for 2. Kane with a waist lock. Jeff elbows out of it and hits a front jawjacker. Jeff with a drop kick to the knee, then to the head for 2. Jeff hits the double leg drop to the crotch for 2. Jeff with right hands but Kane lifts him over his head and hits a gutbuster for 2. Kane whips Jeff into the post, then baseball slides into him, but only a 2 count. Kane works Jeff over in the corner with turnbuckle shots and kicks. Kane with a backbreaker for 2. Kane really looks good here. Kane now with the seldom-used body scissors. Kane with a sidewalk slam for 2. Kane slowly goes to the top but Jeff follows him up. They battle for a bit but Kane throws him off. Jeff shakes the top rope and Kane falls to the canvas. Jeff with the double mule kick in the corner. Jeff with a kick to the leg and the DDT for 2. Jeff goes to the top but Kane catches him and is about to go for the chokeslam but Jeff goes out the back door, runs to the other corner and hits Whisper in the Wind for 2. Jeff with a somewhat sloppy Twist of Fate. Jeff goes to the top rope, but then CM Punk’s music hits and the World Champion comes to the top of the ramp. Jeff looks up the ramp, which gives Kane a chance to grab Jeff by the neck and chokeslam him off the top rope, which gets the 3 count. WINNER: Kane (Grade: 2.5)

-Time for this week’s edition of “Word Up”, where today’s word is “Bromance”. It’s pretty much a chance to rip into the Hart Dynasty. Then Jesse comes in and acts faux brother, which makes it even funnier. We then go to Teddy Long and John Morrison talk about doing karaoke from last week while we hear banging in the closet. Teddy leaves, and as Morrison walks out Dolph Ziggler falls out of the closet. Morrison makes a “come out of the closet” joke and leaves. A few seconds later, Maria comes out of the closet all disheveled and wish Dolph good luck in his match. Why do they always have Maria going out with heels but staying a face?

Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison

They lock up and we have some grappling on the canvas. Morrison with a headlock but Ziggler makes the ropes. Morrison breaks and Ziggler with a cheap shot. Morrison into the ropes ducks a clothesline and hits a back elbow which sends Ziggler out to the floor. Morrison with a cross body over the ropes to the floor. Both back in the ring and Morrison snaps Ziggler on the top rope. Ziggler trips Morrison and boots him in the head. Morrison hits the floor and Ziggler with some kicks for 2. Ziggler with some right hands, as JR says Ziggler is part Mr. Perfect, part Rick Rude. Interesting analogy, may make sense. Ziggler with some elbow drops for 2. Ziggler with a back suplex for 2. Ziggler with some clubbing blows into a full nelson. Morrison slips out of it and Pele kicks Ziggler in the head. More kicks from Morrison and they exchange right hands. Morrison with clotheslines and a flying kick. Morrison with a running knee to the head for 2. Morrison goes for the knee again and misses. Ziggler with a flapjack for 2. Another good match tonight. Both men are groggy and Ziggler throws some right hands. He misses a charge in the corner and Morrison with a missile drop kick for 2. We get a reversal sequence with ends with Ziggler getting a roll-up and a handful of tights for the 3 count. WINNER: Dolph Ziggler (Grade: 2.5)

We have a very unusual vignette where R-Truth wears fake teeth and calls himself “Pretty Ricky”. I have no clue where this is going, if this means an R-Truth heel turn or what. But this really made no sense.

Melina & Eve Torres vs. Women’s Champion Michelle McCool & Layla

Eve and Layla start things out. To start things off, Eve quickly takes Layla down with a fireman’s carry. As Layla makes it back to her feet, Eve connects with a nice shoulder-block followed by a baseball slide that sends Layla crashing onto the outside floor. Eve then goes to the outside and brings Layla back in the ring where the referee checks up on her. In the mean time, McCool kicks Eve in the back of the head. McCool then gets back on the apron and tags herself into the match. She locked in a figure four head lock. Eve fought out and hit a bulldog. Double hot tags had Melina squashing Layla. McCool hit Melina from behind while the ref was distracted. Layla picked her up in a backbreaker move. Melina slipped out and hit McCool. She dodged and Layla ran into McCool. Melina rolled up Layla for the win. WINNERS: Melina & Eve Torres (Grade: 1.5)

Out comes World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk comes to the ring to take the mike. Punk says he could have been seriously injured last week by being left to fend to himself. He shows off a medication that goes into his eye and he’s not faking the injury. CM Punk then finally starts to turn the corner as a heel and starts telling Jeff Hardy, who’s at ringside with JR and Grish, that he needs to live a clean, “straight edge” lifestyle and maybe he’d be a champion. Punk tells Hardy he’s never been to rehab, he’s never been suspended, and he has no strikes. Punk tells Hardy he has zero chance to beat him at Night of Champions.

World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk vs. Great Khali

Punk teases a few low kicks. Khali quickly grabs Punk and clotheslines the World Champion. Khali then corners Punk and slaps Punk across the chest. Khali then attempts a leg drop, but Punk moves out of the way and gives Khali a dropkick in the face. Punk then connects with a springboard clothesline, but gets a 2 count. Punk then kicks Khali a few times and connects with the knee lift. Punk then backs off and charges at the giant, but Khali catches Punk with a reverse back elbow. Khali then signals for the Punjabi Plunge and connects with it. At this time, pyro’s go off and Kane makes his way down to the ring with a chair and everything’s a schmozz. WINNER: No Contest (Grade: N/A)

-After the match Kane and Khali go chair-for-chair and Khali eventually punches Kane’s chair out of his hand and whacks him in the arm with his chair.

Cryme Tyme vs. Hart Dynasty

Kidd and JTG start things out. After an early lockup, JTG manages to sweep the leg of Kidd before connecting with a flying leg drop. JTG then knocks Smith off the apron before sending Kidd out of the ring. Natalya causes a distraction which allows Kidd to smash JTG into the announce table. Smith is tagged in and he connects with a swinging neckbreaker for a 2 count. Smith then punched JTG in the head and connected with a standing vertical suplex. Following yet another 2 count, JTG rolled onto the apron. Smith charged at him, but JTG rolled away and tagged in Shad. Shad took Smith down with a shoulder-block before connecting with a modified facebuster. Shad then tried for a sweep, but Kidd intervened. Shad quickly took Kidd out, but from behind, Smith rolled up Shad. Unfortunately for Smith, JTG broke up the count. Natalya then got up on the apron and JTG went after her. In the mean time, Kidd and Smith hit the Hi-Lo (Similar to Total Elimination, but not as nasty) for the win. WINNERS: Hart Dynasty (Grade: 2)

-Back from break with the Raw Rebound, and the eventual announcement of the Triple Threat match at NOC for the WWE Championship. Then out comes Unified WWE Tag Team co-champion Chris Jericho, who takes the mike and says he will make history on this evening.

Intercontinental Championship: Rey Mysterio © vs. Unified Tag Team Co-Champion Chris Jericho

After a lockup, Jericho grabs Mysterio for a headlock. Rey shoves Jericho off, but Jericho comes running back with a powerful shoulder-block. Rey punches out of a power bomb attempt, but Jericho tosses him to the floor. Rey rolls through and pops up. Jericho slides out and Rey backs in. Rey hits a mule kick when Jericho tries to get in. Rey goes out and rolls Jericho back in the ring and runs the ropes. He jumps up, but Jericho reverses into a back breaker. Rey fights out and charges at Jericho. Jericho tosses him, but Rey lands on the apron. Jericho whips him on the apron, sending him into the post on to the floor. Rey is out of it and we go to break. Back from break and Jericho connects with a baseball slide onto Mysterio. Jericho then applies a chin lock until Mysterio strikes his way out of the hold with an enzigiri. He leaps at Jericho, but he reverses into a spinning torture rack for two. Jericho slaps Rey’s head and chokes him on the ropes. He hits a snapmare and back to the chin lock. Rey fights out and hits a springboard cross body for two. He hits a wheelbarrow into a bulldog for two. Crowd’s getting into this and why shouldn’t they? Every match these two have had recently is 4 stars or better. Rey tries to reverse a whip into a hurricanrana, but Jericho sits down and locks in the Walls. Rey powered up and rolled over into a Sunset flip. Jericho sat down for two. Rey reversed for two. Jericho reversed again for two. Rey hit a hurricanranna to setup 619. Jericho slipped away and Rey took a nasty looking spill to the floor after getting tangled in the ropes on the missed 619. The two then slowly struggled to make it back to their feet and we go to break in this unbelievable match. Back from break and Jericho catches Mysterio in the corner with a clothesline. Jericho hits several punches and then chokes Rey with his foot. Rey tries to fight back, but Jericho lifts him for a unique spinning neckbreaker. After a failed springboard by Rey, Jericho ties him in the Tree of Woe and goes for a spear. Mysterio sits up and Jericho hits the post. Rey gets some quick moves in. He hits a mule kick and a springboard splash for two. He tries for a hurricanrana, but Jericho flips him forward on his face for two. Both men are shot and no ones blames them. Jericho hits a bulldog. Jericho goes for the Lionsault, but Rey moves. Jericho lands on his feet and reverses another hurricanrana into the Walls. Rey makes the ropes and stands on the apron. Jericho tries a baseball slide but Rey jumps over him. He hits a springboard moonsault on the floor. Rey rolls Jericho into the ring and comes off the top. Jericho reverses into a Codebreaker for ONLY 2. Slowly, Jericho lifts Mysterio but is caught with a drop toe hold followed by a drop kick. With Jericho on the ropes, Mysterio hits the 619 and connected with a springboard splash for the victory. Tremendous match again. WINNER: Rey Mysterio (Grade: 3.5)

-Edge runs in but Rey ducks the spear. Rey backs up the aisle but out of nowhere Dolph Ziggler runs down the ramp and attacks. Edge & Jericho leaves and Rey gets beat down by Ziggler as we go off the air.

FINAL GRADE: B

Who made the team:
1. Dolph Ziggler (1) retains the number one slot
2. CM Punk (3)
3. Kane – (6) been on a roll since his return
4. Rey Mysterio (8)
5. Jeff Hardy (7)
6. John Morrison (5)
7. Chris Jericho and Edge (2)
8. Cyme Tyme (10)
9. Hart Dynasty
10. R Truth (9)
11. Melina (12)
12. Theodore Long (4)

Jeff Hardy coming out with an eye patch was brilliant. It seems like Hardy is playing heel in the opener with the eye injury.

I am not into hip hop culture but Cryme Tyme’s segment is always great. They need that girl to accompany them to the ring.

John Morrison loss wasn’t that bad when you consider that Dolph Zigler has been on a roll. I don’t think it was time to put these two together considering the push both are receiving.

I hope Ziggler and Rey feud.

Are they trying to kill R Truth off with this character?

Why are Melina and McCool still feuding?

Oh man CMPunk’s monologue is great on Jeff. Lets hope this doesn’t turn into an HBK/Brett Hart thing where it really gets personal.
I hope CMPunk and Kane turn into a team.

Love how Kidd grabbed JTGs underwear and used it against him.

Drama’s Smackdown Report 7/3/09

Friday Night Smackdown!
July 3, 2009
Fresno, California
Jim Ross and Todd Grisham

OPENING ANIMATION

Todd welcomes us to Fresno and the controversy surrounding World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk. Speaking of Punk, the champ makes his way to the ring after what happened at the Bash. Punk gets a chorus of boos. Punk says he knows everybody’s talking about the Bash, and he’s sick and tired of everyone saying he purposely kicked the ref to get disqualified. He wants to break it down step by step. First off, Punk says Jeff Hardy was not screwed at the Bash, as Punk’s leg was clearly under the bottom rope after the Swanton Bomb. We go back to the Bash match and Jeff Hardy elbowing Punk in the eye and the kick to Brad Armstrong’s back. Punk says he was the one that almost got screwed. Punk says it’s clear he couldn’t see when he accidentally kicked the ref. We go back to the Bash match and Jeff Hardy’s post-match attack on Punk. Punk says Jeff Hardy has no idea what kind of person Punk is. Punk says he takes no shortcuts and no cheap shots. Punk says what Jeff did was uncalled for. Punk says Jeff Hardy’s been telling everybody who will listen that he wants a World Title rematch. Punk is cool with that, if Jeff Hardy will apologize for the post match attack at the Bash. Punk wants his apology right now. Instead, out comes suspended GM Teddy Long. Teddy says he’s not sure if what Punk did was intentional at the Bash. Teddy says regardless, there will be a rematch at Night of Champions between Jeff Hardy and CM Punk for the World Heavyweight Championship. Punk says that’s fine but he wants an apology from Jeff Hardy. Teddy says he won’t be taking any part in tha, but he is making tonight’s main event: Unified WWE Tag Champs Edge & Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk & Jeff Hardy. From there the #1 contender Jeff Hardy comes out and tells Punk he can see right through him and that Punk is a liar. Punk says unless Jeff’s next words are “I’m sorry”, Punk doesn’t care what Jeff has to say. Jeff says he’ll apologize. He’ll apologize for kicking Punk’s ass at Night of Champions. Jeff pushes him, Punk pushes back, but then Punk cools off and says to Jeff that tonight they have to be partners, and on the same page. Punk says he can read Jeff’s face that he wants to punch him in the face. Punk says Jeff needs to take advice he should have took a long time ago: JUST SAY NO. So Punk is starting to creep the heel “Straight Edge” philosophy in. I saw that side of him in Ring of Honor and its awesome. Punk just leaves the ring and we go to break.

-The first of probably many Raw promos for tonight: Cena vs. HHH for the title shot with Randy Orton at Night of Champions.

Ricky Ortiz vs. Finlay

Glad to see Finlay back on Smackdown, who hasn’t been on in a while. Had a great 20-plus minute match with Rey Mysterio in late 2007 on Smackdown. Ortiz takes the mike and asks Finlay if he’s still upset about losing his little buddy Hornswoggle to Raw. Ortiz says he must end the negativity and now he’s back on Fridays. Ortiz says to drop the shillelagh, lose the smile and rally up! Finlay responds by smacking Ortiz in the face. The bell rings and Ortiz with a low knee but Finlay clotheslines him over the top rope. Finlay with a kick to the head while Ortiz gets to his feet. Ortiz trips him and Finlay’s outside. Finlay with a right hand but Ortiz with a power slam. Finlay’s pitched back into the ring, and he follows. Ortiz with a back suplex for 2. Ortiz goes for a splash and Finlay puts his knees up. Ortiz goes for a spear in the corner but Finlay ducks and Ortiz goes into the post. Finlay with a roll-up for 2. Finlay with some clotheslines and a Rolling Hills, then an Earthquake-esque sit down splash for 2. Finlay goes for the Celtic Cross but his back can’t handle it and Ortiz starts clubbing away. Ortiz goes for a belly-to-belly suplex but Finlay reverses it into the Celtic Cross for the win. WINNER: Finlay (Grade: 2)

-Backstage Dolph Ziggler is stretching and Maria comes over to say hi. They have an uncomfortable conversation about going out the night before. Is Ziggler turning face? Hopefully not.

Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth

Ziggler with a low knee and a right hand. Truth leapfrogs a charge in the corner, does the break-dancing split on a missed clothesline and boots Ziggler in the face. Truth with a hip toss for 1. Ziggler goes into the corner and gets in the ropes, which gives Ziggler a chance to cheap shot him. Ziggler with a face plant suplex for 2. Ziggler with some forearms to the face and a some sort of chinlock. Truth gets to his feet, but Ziggler throws him down. He throws some right hands, and drops some elbows for 2. Ziggler with a Full Nelson. Truth to his feet and he whips Ziggler to the floor. Truth with right hands and a reverse elbow. Truth with a clothesline but bends down for a back drop and gets kicked. ZIggler charges and Truth with a power slam for 2. Truth with a windmill kick and Ziggler hangs onto the bottom rope. Truth charges and Ziggler drops him on the top rope, then hits leaping side Russian leg sweep for the 3 count. WINNER: Dolph Ziggler (Grade: 2)

-We have a Smackdown edition of “Word Up” with Cryme Tyme and Eve Torres going over words like “Wanksta” and “Street Safari”. Jesse comes out, I guess in this now “Cryme Tyme-in training” gimmick. Ugh, just release him.

Intercontinental Champion Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

Old feud revisited, as Kane makes what seems like his 500th move. Rey with kicks and punches to start. Kane with a clothesline takes over. Kane with some stomps and right hands. Kane with another clothesline for 2. Kane with a headlock. Rey tries to leapfrog an irish whip to the corner but Kane catches him. Rey squirms out and low drop kicks Kane’s leg and he hits the second rope. Rey tries to dial 619 but Kane catches him by the throat for a chokeslam. Rey escapes but Kane grabs him and tosses him into the corner. More right hands and kicks follow. Kane backs off and we go to break. We return and Kane with a boot to the head for 2. He whips Rey chest first into the turnbuckle and the IC Champ rolls to the floor. Rey gets in at 9 and Kane continues stomping. Kane with a shot to the back and more stomping. Kane with a body slam but Rey with a double mule kick and some forearms but Kane ends that with a reverse elbow for 2. Kane with a back suplex for 2. It’s been a glorified squash so far. Kane with a backbreaker and he holds it. Rey knees Kane in the head to break it, then trips Kane and he goes into the turnbuckle. Kane with the Springboard West Coast Pop, then reverses a power slam into a back drop for 2. Rey with a low drop kick for 2. Rey goes to the top but Kane punches him in mid-air for 2. Rey with a enziguiri and a drop kick. Rey hits the 619 but can’t hit the huricanrana flip, and instead Kane catches him and drops a chokeslam for the win. WINNER: Kane (Grade: 2)

-Kane was going to continue to work Rey over but the Great Khali comes out and comes after Kane with a steel chair. We go backstage where Josh Matthews is with Chris Jericho. He’s happy about Rey Mysterio’s loss, then announces he will enact his rematch clause next week to get back his Intercontinental Title. Edge comes on the screen and says worry about that match next week. Tonight its about their opponents, who are clearly not on the same page. Jericho rips Punk as a liar, then rips the crowd as parasites, and gelatinous worms.

The Hart Dynasty vs. Cryme Tyme

A DEFINITE benefit of the 15-talent trade. Tyson Kidd starts with JTG, and they lock up. Kidd with a waistlock but JTG breaks and a drop toe hold leads to a front facelock. Kidd breaks it but JTG with a monkey flip and Kidd bails. Tag to David Hart Smith and he works JTG over. Smith with a belly throw for 2. Smith with a headlock. JTG breaks it but Smith gets him in his corner and tag to Kidd, who boots JTG in the back for 2. Kiss spreads the arms out from behind. Kidd misses a charge in the corner and JTG with a roll up for 2. Kidd stomps and goes back to the arm spreading. JTG gets to his feet and Kidd knees him in the gut. Into the ropes and Kidd drops his head and JTG with a right hand and a takedown. Each guy crawls to their corner and Smith and Shad Gaspard are tagged in. Shad gets the upper hand with power moves. Shad with an elbow drop for 2. JTG cheap shots Smith from behind and Shad with “Magnificence” for the 3 count. One week on SD and the Dynasty already lays down. Boooo. WINNERS: Cryme Tyme (Grade: 2)

We go to last week’s Raw Rebound with first guest host Batista.

Women’s Champion Michelle McCool & Layla vs. Melina & Maria

So Layla is a heel again? Who knows. Melina and Layla start and Layla with a cheap shot. Melina with a reverse kick and a throw into the turnbuckle. A tag to Maria who knees Layla in the ribs. Maria with a snap mare and sit down clothesline for 2. Interesting move. Maria with a hip toss but Layla catches her leg and drops her. Tag to the champ and McCool works Maria’s leg over. Tag back to Layla who continues to work Maria’s leg over. Quick tag to McCool who keeps the pressure on the leg. Maria snaps McCool over and gets the tag to Melina who works McCool over with forearms. McCool with a blind kick and a tag to Layla. Melina with a kick to both heels, then hits the Primal Scream on Layla for the win. WINNERS: Melina & Maria (Grade: 2)

-We get a hysterical skit backstage with John Morrison and Teddy Long doing Michael Jackson lines as Morrison talks about beating CM Punk last week.

Unified WWE Tag Team Champions Edge & Chris Jericho vs. Jeff Hardy & World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk

JR reminds us that next week on Smackdown Chris Jericho takes on Rey Mysterio for the IC title. Edge and Punk start things off and they lock up but Edge works on Punk’s arm and applies an arm bar. Punk escapes and hits a drop kick. Hardy tags in and he connects with a forearm from the turnbuckles. Hardy with a punch and kick in the corner followed by a hard Irish whip but Edge has his foot on the ropes. Hardy sends Edge into the turnbuckles and then he tags Punk back in. Punk with a double sledge to the arm and he kicks Edge in the chest. Punk with an arm bar but Edge with a forearm and Jericho tags in but Punk with an arm drag into an arm bar. Punk with a slam to Jericho and Jericho favors his knee. Hardy tags in and hits the screaming leg drop from the second turnbuckle for 2. Jericho punches Hardy and kicks him in the head. Jericho with a kick but Hardy with a reverse atomic drop and leg drop. Punk tags in and he stays with the arm and snap mares Jericho for 2. Punk with an arm bar. Edge is tagged in and he punches Punk in the head. Edge with a head butt as he starts to focus on the eye. Punk with a leg lariat and Hardy is tagged in. Hardy hits Poetry in Motion and Jericho takes some of the impact as well. Punk clotheslines Edge over the top rope to the floor as we see Punk and Hardy stare each other down as we go to break. We are back and Edge punches Hardy but Hardy with an arm drag and arm bar. Punk is checking on his eye and he refuses to tag in. Hardy gets a near fall. Hardy with a suplex and a cover for a near fall. Hardy punches Edge and tries for a splash after an Irish whip but Edge moves. Jericho tags in and he hits a series of elbow drops followed by punches. Jericho draws Punk in to allow Edge to work over Hardy on the floor. Jericho goes to bring Hardy back into the ring but he sends him into the apron first. Hardy tries to make the tag but Punk is not looking because of his eye. Jericho goes to the floor and Hardy returns to the ring and he tries to make the tag but Punk is not in position. Hardy hits Whisper in the Wind and both men are down. Edge tags in and he keeps Jeff from making the tag. Hardy with a Twist of Fate and the tag to Punk with a knee in the corner and a bulldog for a near fall. Punk gets Edge up for the Go To Sleep but Edge with an Edge-O-Matic to Punk for 2. Edge with a knee to the head. Edge works over Punk and then he talks to the ref to allow Jericho some double team action. Jericho tags in and he kicks Punk in the ribs. Punk with forearms to Jericho but both men hit clotheslines and they are both down. Punk tries to make his way to tag in Hardy but Hardy gets a sudden eye injury and he cannot make the tag. Hardy cannot see and Jericho gets a near fall with a rollup. Jericho tries for the Walls of Jericho while Hardy is struggling to see again. Punk sends Jericho into the turnbuckles and Edge makes the blind tag while Punk sets for the Go To Sleep. Punk hits the GTS on Jericho but Edge with a spear for the win. WINNERS: Chris Jericho & Edge

-Jeff Hardy gives Edge a Twist of Fate but before he can Swanton him Jericho saves him. Hardy’s still holding his eye but Punk’s still down. Hardy shows that his eyes are just fine. Copyright’s up and we’re done.

FINAL GRADE: B-

Drama’s Smackdown Report 8/21/09

Friday Night Smackdown!
August 21, 2009
Kansas City, Missouri
Jim Ross and Todd Grisham

OPENING ANIMATION

JR and the Grish welcomes us to Kansas City and the go home editon of Smackdown, two days away from Summerslam! Tonight a big six-man tag main event, as the Hardys reunite, teaming with John Morrison to face CM Punk and the Hart Dynasty. 6 absolute studs in the ring at once. We also have an exclusive interview with Matt Hardy as to what’s going on in his head right now. We head to the ring for our opening bout!

Intercontinental Champion Rey Mysterio and Cryme Tyme vs. Dolph Ziggler and Unified Tag Team Champions Chris Jericho & Big Show

As expected, this week’s show includes Summerslam opponents mushed into one match. I don’t know why, and I say it every week but I love this feud with Cryme Tyme & Y2Show. It just reeks of the old school tag feuds of the 80’s, like the Hart Foundation vs. Demolition heading into Summerslam 1990 or the Rockers vs. the Twin Towers. I’m not sure what to make of the Rey/Ziggler feud, but I have to think Dolph takes the strap at Summerslam. I can’t see them jobbing him out two shows in a row. Pretty solid match with everybody getting their shots in, including Show who’s just become such a monster now, and with Jericho as his brains and the antagonist of the team, they’re clearly one of the best “superstars thrown together” teams in recent memory. The crowd’s into Cryme Tyme huge, and I’d love to see them take the straps at Summerslam. The crowd was off the hook for this match with incredible action and bodies flying all over the place. Rey looked to win it with the 619 but during the pin Rey gets cracked with Show’s hamhock right hand, and Ziggler steals the pin for the win. A great match with a lot of the heat and the crowd was into it. WINNERS: Dolph Ziggler, Chris Jericho & Big Show (Grade: 3.5)

-We head to JR and the Grish at the table, and we recap what’s happened with an awesome video montage of the past two weeks involving the Hardys and CM Punk. We go backstage to Josh Matthews with Matt Hardy. Matt says ever since they were kids, Matt has always protected his little brother. Josh talks about what’s happened in 2009, and Matt says he’s seen his brother go from a little kid to a global phenomenon. He says what he’s done in 2009 has been reprehensible and he doesn’t know if he can even forgive himself. He hopes his brother can forgive him and tonight in their six-man tag match it will be an honor to stand in the ring with his brother again. Do we believe it? Ehh……I don’t know.

-Back from break and we get a wide shot of Kansas City, then head back to the ring. Kane comes down to the ring, takes the mike and says he proved last week that he is the dominant giant on Smackdown. He says he’s never feared Khali, but Khali better fear him. Suddenly the happy Bollywood theme plays and down comes Khali who wants to fight. Kane grabs a chair but Khali swats it away. He gets his shots in but Kane escapes.

Mike Knox vs. Finlay

I always thought Finlay was only returning to wrestling in 2006 simply to bolster a then-awful Smackdown roster? 3 years later and he’s still beating the crap out of people. The match was pretty straightforward, with Knox getting DQ’ed for not stopping after the 5 count. Knox’s push continues as he beat Finlay down afterwards, including a shot with the steel steps. JR’s word is “dastardly”. I always liked that word. Mike Knox certainly was it. WINNER: Finlay by disqualification (Grade: 2)

-Backstage and the Hardys are hanging out with John Morrison. Jeff’s coming out to the ring. After the break and there he comes, the World Heavyweight Champion. The ring is surrounded by tables, ladders, & chairs. The World Title is hanging above the ring. Jeff says he’s happy with life right now. He’s at peace with his brother, but his health was in question. After the beatdown CM Punk gave him, doctors said he should retire. Well he’s never listened to doctors. He climbs the ladder in the middle of the ring and grabs his World Title belt. He tells CM Punk that this, at the top of this ladder is where it will all begin. Just a chair won’t be enough to stop him from defeating Punk at Summerslam in TLC. With that out comes the #1 contender, CM Punk. Punk says Jeff should get down from the ladder because he’s probably either drunk or high and might fall off the ladder. He says this “in the moment” crap must end. He says Jeff is nothing more than an egomaniac who feeds off the fans. Punk says Jeff will not defeat him at Summerslam, and his win will validate his mantra: That “straight edge” is the right way, that he’s better than Jeff Hardy. Punk says he must eliminate Jeff Hardy to prove what’s right and what’s wrong. He tells Jeff Hardy that he can’t fly. Hardy says the fans & spirit know he can. So Punk tests that theory and attempts to push the ladder Hardy’s on over. Hardy lands on his feet and hits Punk with the Twist of Fate as the ladder falls on him.

Melina & Maria vs. Natalya & Layla

Women’s Champion Michelle McCool joins JR & the Grish and she immediately rips Maria for her outfit & her talent. Well Maria’s always hot but I can’t argue with the champ that she can’t wrestle. With Gail Kim on Raw and Maria back in the ring, this match is going to be a few steps below what we’ve watched the past few weeks. Melina then throws Michelle out of her chair but Melina gets clotheslined by Layla. Natalya is one of the 3 best women’s wrestlers in the company but this is her first match in quite a while. Melina pins Natalya with a big sunset flip/power bomb combo for the win. They’re not scheduled at Summerslam but this feud with continue. WINNERS: Melina & Maria (Grade: 2)

-Time for this week’s edition of Word Up, but Cryme Tyme’s not in the mood. Jam Master J comes in and tries to cheer them up with this week’s word: SUSPECT. He actually cheers them up with some nice jabs at Y2Show.

-Back from break and Josh Matthews is with IC Champ Rey Mysterio, who says in front of his home crowd he will not disappoint, then he talks some Spanish. He says Dolph Ziggler got a cheap pin, but he does respect Ziggler’s ability. If Dolph wants to be a champion Sunday, he’ll have to bring all of it. We then go to the Raw Rebound, which was Legacy’s beatdown of DX, and then JR and Grish go over this Sunday’s card in Los Angeles:

WWE Championship: Randy Orton © vs. John Cena
World Heavyweight Championship, TLC: Jeff Hardy © vs. CM Punk
ECW Championship: Christian © vs. William Regal
Intercontinental Championship: Rey Mysterio © vs. Dolph Ziggler
Unified Tag Team Championship: Chris Jericho & Big Show © vs. Cryme Tyme
D-Generation X vs. Legacy
MVP vs. Jack Swagger
Kane vs. Great Khali

CM Punk & Hart Dynasty vs. the Hardys & John Morrison

Nice to see Jeff & Matt come out together to their Team Extreme music. Very slick how Punk is matching the Harts with black and pink tights. A very good match that went through two commercial breaks as the hot crowd carries this match, the only other big match on this show. All 6 guys threw themselves all over the place to pump the crowd up and get them ready for Summerslam. Jeff got the upper hand all over this show, which likely means Punk’s winning the title. Morrison looked solid as did the Hart Dynasty. Right now there’s no doubt that Smackdown has the better show than Raw, as the main eventers look hungrier and the matches have so much more energy. Matt gets the pin on Punk with the Twist of Fate, which tells me (and a little birdie who put in my ear) that perhaps Matt may be Punk’s next challenger after Summerslam when Jeff Hardy leaves. The GOOD GUYS WIN! WINNERS: The Hardys & John Morrison (Grade: 3)

FINAL GRADE: C+ (Good storyline development but not many matches)