Oh no! It’s getting worse! At least so far as Rotten Tomatoes is concerned, the third part to this trilogy is even worse than the second, dropping down to a lowly 50%. After watching the second one, I’m not sure if this movie also suffers from the comparison to the first movie that hurt the second one or if it benefited from comparison to the second one. That sentence just confused me. So, instead of trying to figure that out, let’s jump into my review of Jurassic Park 3, written by Peter Buchman, Alexander Payne, and Jim Taylor, directed by Joe Johnston, and starring Sam Neill, William H. Macy, Tea Leoni, Trevor Morgan, Alessandro Nivola, Michael Jeter, John Diehl, Bruce A. Young, and Laura Dern.

Eric (Trevor Morgan) and his mother’s boyfriend Ben (Mark Harelik) are parasailing off the coast of the infamous Isla Sorna when something goes wrong and the people driving their boat disappear in the mist below them. They look up to see that the boat is about to collide with some rocks, so they detach the cable and sail off towards the shoreline. Meanwhile, Alan Grant (Sam Neill) is visiting Ellie Satler (Laura Dern) and her family. He then goes and does some presentation in order to try to get more funding for his digs, but people only want to ask him about Jurassic Park. He returns to the dig site where his assistant, Billy Brennan (Alessandro Nivola), shows Grant a device they have that makes replica’s of Velociraptor resonating chambers, something they think shows that Velociraptor’s can communicate. Grant is then approached by a wealthy couple, Paul (William H. Macy) and Amanda Kirby (Tea Leoni), who ask Grant to escort them on an aerial tour of Isla Sorna. Grant is not down, but reluctantly agrees once Paul’s checkbook comes out. Much to Grant’s dismay, they land on Isla Sorna instead of just flying over it. It turns out that Paul and Amanda are Eric’s parents and, frustrated with the government’s decision to not look for Eric, hired Grant, Billy, and three mercenaries (Bruce A. Young, Michael Jeter, and John Diehl) to help them find him. And even more to Grant’s dismay, the mercenaries, and their airplane, are quickly dispatched by a giant Spinosaurus and they are now trapped on Isla Sorna.

Oh how the mighty have fallen. I actually thought about saying that in my review of The Lost World too, but I figured it’d be best to hold it until here. Another lackluster installment in the Jurassic Park series, but this one they decided they needed to finish off by putting the rest of the cast of the first, great movie that they had not yet put into a shitty Jurassic Park movie. They knocked out Goldblum, Attenborough, and the kids in the second one, leaving them only with Neill and Dern. Mission accomplished. The story was passable here, but they did a couple of things that I thought were so ill-conceived that it topped the previous movie in bad ideas. The graphics, however, were probably better than they were in the previous two movies. If that was all it took, this would be a great movie. It’s not all it takes for me, though. It uses a much flimsier approach to getting the traumatized person back to the island, and one they already used. Neill was already hesitant to go to the island in the first movie, and Attenborough’s cash got him to go back. I understand Macy and Leoni’s reason for going to the island, but Neill should know better. I know he was heading towards hard times, but money shouldn’t have worked as it did in the first movie, even if he was so sure that he’d just be flying overhead. Has going to these islands ever worked out, Grant? On the plane, they used one of the worst ideas they ever had by making Grant have a dream that Billy was a Velociraptor, that then started speaking his name as the non-dream Billy did. This was SO corny and stupid. If you were so worried that you had gone too long into the movie without showing dinosaurs you could’ve just waited a few more seconds until they saw them. Otherwise there was really no reason to try to do something so dumb. This movie also does something I hate: they bring an expert, but then choose to ignore him. When they’re staring at a Tyrannosaurus, Grant says “Don’t move” and everyone runs. Why bother bringing an expert if you’re going to ignore him at the risk of your lives? It gets worse that they then mention almost exactly what I just said right after I wrote it down. They do a lot in this movie to show how intelligent the Velociraptor’s are, but I think they went way too far. The worst example of this is when they’re looking around the deserted lab, looking at the broken eggs and dead dinosaurs in jars. I can believe that Leoni would look at a Raptor that appeared to be in a jar and think it was just another one, but I won’t believe a Raptor would be three feet away from a person that was looking right at it and be intelligent enough to know it should just hold still and they would think it was a mannequin. As a good thing, I was happy to see that (even though it took them three movies to do it) they finally made Pterodactyl’s a good part of the movie (which I say because I believe they were shown flying in one of the other movies). The look and mood of the Pterodactyl cage area was pretty nice. The thing that bothered me about them is that Leoni forgets to close the cage, allowing the Pterodactyl’s to fly free in the world, and the people leaving the island really don’t seem all that concerned that they let them loose on the world. They could have at least thrown a “Don’t worry, they can’t fly far enough to reach the mainland” to make me feel better about it.

The very worst part of this movie, to me, was the Spinosaurus. Not the Spinosaurus itself, but what they did with him. I understand that you wanted to amp things up for this movie by throwing in a dinosaur that was bigger and scarier than the Tyrannosaurus, but having him lay a massive beatdown on the T-Rex we had grown to love over the last two movies was bad form. You can have the Spinosaurus beat the T-Rex, but you can’t allow him to make the T-Rex his bitch. T-Rex did right by you for two movies already, and this is how you treat him? Especially when you replace him with a dinosaur that can’t possibly make it through a tiny, metal door, but can bust through a giant, barbed, metal fence like it was tissue paper. For another good note, I can’t think of any dinosaurs in the movie that didn’t look good throughout.

The performances were still pretty solid in this movie, probably because they didn’t know how bad it was going to be while filming it. Sam Neill still brings it, and Laura Dern still does nothing for me, but this time it was because she was barely in it. William H. Macy is just a great actor, even in this movie. Tea Leoni was a bit of a miss for me. Her performance was fine, but her hairdo was not. She’s gorgeous with long, brown hair, and even really good with long, blond hair, but short, blond, dike-y hair? Not so much. I kind of liked the Eric character in the movie, but not really because of Trevor Morgan. I mainly liked it because it was a total swagger jack of Newt from Aliens. It was almost the same character! A little kid that has to survive for a prolonged period of time in a place full of dangerous creatures and is also all alone because those dangerous creatures killed everyone else. But, instead of dying as you would expect, they become an expert on them and are able to get around somehow. Same damned character! But I did love Newt, so some of that comes off on this character. I got pissed when the little shit was cocky enough to ask Alan Grant if he knew what a Raptor claw was. Are you shitting me? This guy was studying Raptors when you were still semen in William H. Macy’s balls AND he survived the first movie. You’ve been at this shit for eight weeks. Cocky little fucker. Thankfully, he gets punished for this a few times in this movie. I got to thinking that, after being stranded on the island, having your adult accompaniment killed, and then getting singularly selected by the Pterodactyls as food for their kids, you ever think that God might just want you dead? I will say, in favor of Neill, Macy, and Leoni, there was at least one point in the movie when I totally related to them. Sadly, while watching this movie, it was the scene where they were digging through giant mounds of shit.

The third part to the series further tries to drag down the great things Jurassic Park did. The tools it uses are a decent story bogged down with stupid ideas, the defeat of a much beloved dinosaur in order to replace it with a dinosaur I don’t give a shit about, and hit or miss performances, some of which were stolen right out of Aliens. I feel like this movie did to Jurassic Park what the Spinosaurus did to the T-Rex. The worst thing in the movie was that damned ringtone they used constantly for the satellite phone. Every time I hear that ringtone on someone’s cell phone it reminds me of this movie … and to kill the person whose phone was ringing. You can skip this movie, but I can’t ’cause I’m a reviewer and the thing came in my three pack. Jurassic Park gets “Reverse Darwinism – survival of the most idiotic” out of “This is T-Rex pee.”

Hey, peeps. Why not rate and comment on this as a favor to good ole Robert, eh? And tell your friends! Let’s make me famous!

Are we ready for another Jurassic Park movie? Well apparently Steven Spielberg thinks so.  During an interview with “Coming Soon”, Mr. Spielberg admitted that the next installment of the Jurassic Park series is on his to-do list. Steven Spielberg was quoted saying:

“I haven’t been active in the last year because I’ve been so busy obviously on ‘War Horse,’ ‘Tintin’ and now I’m currently shooting ‘Lincoln,’ but right now, it’s on the schedule to bring out another ‘Jurassic Park.”

Previously, when he was at Comic-con he said the fourth movie has a writer and that it would be made in the next 2 to 3 years. We’ve all heard rumours like that before from other actors and directors alike throughout the years, but it’s quite a possibility that he’s telling the truth on this one. It’s been over 10 years since the last instalment of Jurassic park was in theatres, so at least we know Steven Spielberg has had time to think up new ideas and for Michael Crichton (which I’m happy to see) to write a new storyline . It’s rumoured that at least 3 of the original cast members from the previous movies (Laura Dern- Dr. Ellie Sattler, Sam Neill- Dr. Sam Grant, Jeff Goldblum- Dr. Ian Malcolm) are going to be in the next film, but I think that it’s too early to say whether or not that is going to happen, especially when there’s not even a clue to a filming date/ release date.  

I think it’s safe to say that no matter what the earned gross turn out should be relatively successful, just comparing the budgets and gross of the last 3 films should show you:

-Jurassic Park (1993) Budget: $63 mil. (EST.) Gross: over $914 mil. (Worldwide)

- The Lost World (1997) Budget: $73 mil. (EST.) Gross: over $615 mil (Worldwide)

- Jurassic Park 3 (2001) Budget: $93 mil. (EST.) Gross: over $365 mil (Worldwide)

One reason it might’ve taken Mr. Spielberg so long to decide to do another Jurassic Park movie is probably because of the decreasing amount of grossed revenue earned (at least – $300 mil.) That I think would be a good reason to be hesitant. All in all it’s too early to speculate anything about the movie except two things; 1.)A lot of people are going to like the movie and a lot aren’t, that’s just the way of the world of film and 2.) I almost guarantee that the movie will be filmed in 3-D. Will I be waiting anxiously for the new film? Do I have high hopes? Am I going to pull my old Jurassic Park t-shirt out of the “Goodwill” box, we’ll have to wait and see.

Movie #286 Jurassic Park 3

(2001, US, d. Joe Johnston)

This time only produced by Steven Spielberg, Jurassic Park 3 is still a fun ride, though it lacks some of the real heart and magic the first two had. There’s something about dinosaurs facing characters we love that is innately intriguing, because describing this film in a couple of sentences makes it sound really bad. It’s the experience while watching it you must judge. The film adds new dinosaurs, some cheap dinosaurs, and a very strange island, but somehow it works. I don’t know if this is because the movie itself has that ‘je ne sais quoi’ factor around or it is just because it is part of one of the most incredible filmmaking franchises in Hollywood history, but for whatever reason, Jurassic Park 3 doesn’t lose the tension or the intrigue possessed by its predecessors. The writing is cheesier, characters who we had seen enough of are back at it for another go, and some strange child subplots are added here, but again, this film is more than the sum of its parts. Sure it has the talents of Sam Neill, William H. Macy, and Tea Leoni here – but even with all of them included in a written analysis, this film is one of those films I am still surprised at that I liked. It follows the cliche sequel trick of a rogue mission and throws on top of it every trick Hollywood has to make a sequel bigger and better, but again, it just clicks. And it clicks wonderfully.

For Episode 2 of Rewatchability we turn our attention to Jurassic Park, The Lost World, and the aptly named Jurassic Park 3. Do these three movies hold together as a trilogy? Why do Velociraptors hate gymnastics? Was Jeff Goldblum ever considered a sex symbol? We attempt to answer these questions and more!

Episode 2- The Jurassic Park Trilogy

Download the link above, or subscribe to our RSS feed in the top right of the page.

WARNING: the podcast contains strong language and immature subject matter, please be advised.

Jurassic park #3

28 days later #10 was good the art has changed and I like it better. The story was good too, with the group being hunted by unknown soldier and spending a night in a small shed. I also liked the way the blind guy was portrayed in this one 8 out of 10 it’s defiantly an improvement

28 days later #10

Battle fields is awesome as usual and #5 is no exception with a cool battle with a german half track and a Sherman tank it’s just action packed the story ended with the tank crew finding a little boy in a german uniform I suspect a trap  and look forward to finding out in the next issue 9 out of 10

Battlefields #5

 you can get the comics at the following links :  http://www.mycomicshop.com/TID=15763201&AFFID=645316P01 and  http://www.tfaw.com/TID8908&AFFID416450

28 Days Later#10

I would also like to thank you all for your support and I appreciate the comments the Thunder Scorpion is back and in the near future I will be getting lot’s of new comics to review.

From Paris with Love – Directed by Pierre Morel, Written by Adi Hasak and Luc Besson
Swordfish. The Punisher. A Love Song for Bobby Long. Lonely Hearts. John Travolta has been in four good films in the last ten years. This is a fact. And the only reason I’m giving him another chance after The Taking of Pelham 123 is the company he’s keeping. If Jonathan Rhys Meyers isn’t enough for you, how about producer/writer Luc Besson (Director: La Femme Nikita, The Professional), director Pierre Morel (Taken), cinematographer Michel Abramowicz (Taken, L’empire del loupes) and editor Frederic Thoraval (Taken, District B-13). French people are badass.
John Travolta, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Amber Rose Revah
February 5

Psych 9 – Directed by Andrew Shortell, Written by Lawrence Robinson
Newbie Director and Writer present a story about people working in a closed mental hospital and seeing weird shit. This seems like a blatant ripoff of Session 9 (which was cool), but the last indie horror movie that managed to star Cary Elwes was Saw. Makes you think, huh?
Sara Foster, Cary Elwes, Michael Biehn, Gabriel Mann
February 5

Terribly Happy – Directed by Henrik Ruben Genz, Written by Henrik Ruben Genz and Dunja Gry Jensen
Where I’m from, comparing some random Danish movie to David Lynch and The Coen Brothers will get you punched in the face. Unless it’s true. Which it may be. The preview conveys Lynch’s trademark sleep-deprived confusion and some strange, small town Coen antics. Looks pretty cool, but I don’t like admitting I’m wrong. So it’s still on…taeve.
Jakob Cedergren, Lene Maria Christensen, Kim Bodnia
February 5

The Wolfman – Directed by Joe Johnston, Written by Andrew Kevin Walker and David Self
If Joe Johnston‘s name sounds familiar…it’s because you’re thinking of Jack Johnson. Now put down the blunt and pay attention. Johnston directed The Rocketeer in 1991 (I don’t care who you are, you loved that movie). After “wowing” audiences with The Pagemaster and Jumanji, he was given a chance to direct Jurassic Park 3. And he gobbled its balls. So what’s going to save this werewolf orgy? Sheer acting talent, Rick Baker‘s amazing special effects, the writing genius of Andrew Kevin Walker (Se7en, 8MM, Sleepy Hollow) and the meddling ghost of Lon Chaney Jr..
Benicio Del Toro, Anthony Hopkins, Emily Blunt, Hugo Weaving
February 10

The Ghost Writer – Directed by Roman Polanski, Written by Robert Harris
Roman Polanski is living proof that God loves a trier. You can charge him with rape. You can banish him. You can extradite and try him. You can put him on house arrest. And he will still make fucking movies. The last political thriller that held my attention was George W. Bush in “Trapped in a Chinese press room”, and only Polanski could get James Belushi, Tom Wilkinson, and Kim Cattrall in the same room on purpose. Good feelings.
Ewan McGregor, Pierce Brosnan, Timothy Hutton, Kim Cattrall, Olivia Williams, Tom Wilkinson, James Belushi, Eli Wallach
February 19

Shutter Island – Directed by Martin Scorsese, Written by Laeta Kalogridis
Ok guys, this is a new year. A new movie. A new story. There’s no need for me to even mention how much The Departed sucked yak testicles. So I won’t. But I will say this: I am very excited about Scorsese trying his hand at the horror genre. I just wish he hadn’t picked one written by the same guy that did Alexander (shitty) and Pathfinder (even more shittier). I hope the ghost turns out to be Mark Wahlberg.
Leonardo DiCaprio, Mark Ruffalo, Ben Kingsley, Emily Mortimer, Michelle Williams, Max von Sydow, Patricia Clarkson, Jackie Earle Haley
February 19

Cop Out – Directed by Kevin Smith, Written by Robb and Mark Cullen
You’ve probably heard the stories about how Kevin Smith wanted to call it “The Two Dicks”, and the studio changed the name. Smith called that a “cop out” and they laughed and said, “let’s call it that!” Very cute, but you’re still a sissy-ass reed in the wind who can’t even name his own film. The first Smith film he didn’t also write, he apparently chose the project because his late father liked the genre. So for any Smith fans out there, let me paint you a picture. When the Coen Brothers lost their mother, they made The Ladykillers. Enough said.
Bruce Willis, Tracy Morgan, Michelle Trachtenberg, Jason Lee, Rashida Jones, Seann William Scott, Adam Brody, Kevin Pollack
February 26

The Crazies – Directed by Breck Eisner, Written by Scatt Kosar and Ray Wright
As a film elitist, my first reaction to a nobody director remaking a George A. Romero film was, “Lame.” Then I remembered that the nobody who remade Dawn of the Dead grew up to be Zack Snyder, who directed 300 and Watchmen. This story isn’t quite as cool, but it could make for a fun cinematic adventure if they lay off the CGI.
Timothy Olyphant, Radha Mitchell
February 26

The Yellow Handkerchief – Directed by Udayan Prasad, Written by Erin Dignam
Three strangers end up in the same car traveling across Louisiana. They’re all lonely. Then they start reminiscing and find common ground. Then they aren’t lonely. This may not sound like a cool film, but neither did “homeless girl loses her dog, then finds it“, and that was a really good film. With nary a weak link to be found in the main cast, I would love to see this at a festival. I’ll have to settle for On Demand.
William Hurt, Maria Bello, Kristen Stewart, Eddie Redmayne
February 26

KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN

The Red Riding Trilogy
This serial killer trilogy out of Britain has been getting a lot of buzz lately. Critics are raving about the cinematography, direction, the connected story, etc. Now it’s finally getting a foothold in the U.S. IFC will begin showing it at their center in New York, hopefully spreading after that. Don’t worry though, if it doesn’t end up at a theatre near you, expect an On Demand/DVD release fairly soon.
Red Riding: 1974 – Directed by Julian Jarrold, Written by Tony Grisoni
Starring: Andrew Garfield, David Morrissey, John Henshaw, Anthony Flanagan
Red Riding: 1980 – Directed by James Marsh, Written by Tony Grisoni
Starring: Paddy Considine, David Morrissey, Eddie Marsan
Red Riding: 1983 – Directed by Anand Tucker, Written by Tony Grisoni
Starring: David Morrissey, Sean Bean, Mark Addy
February 5 (IFC Center, NY)

Blood Done Sign My Name – Written and Directed by Jeb Stuart
I gotta be honest, I’m not even sure this is a real thing yet. Tim Tyson, a professor at Duke University, wrote this book several years ago about a black Vietnam veteran murdered by a white businessman, who is later acquitted, throwing the social climate of the town into turmoil. Lots of recognizable faces, and a good story. We’ll see what happens.
Michael Rooker, Rick Schroder, Omar Benson Miller, Lee Norris, Nick Searcy
February 19 (Limited)

Blood Into Wine – Directed by Ryan Page and Christopher Pomerenke
I don’t usually do Documentaries here, but this one looks so delightful, I had to mention it. Tool frontman Maynard James Keenan hooks up with Napa Valley winemaker Eric Glomski in an attempt to kick start a wine industry…in Arizona. Half informative wine documentary, half celebrity mockumentary, it might take a certain kind of person to appreciate this one. Luckily, I am a certain kind of person.
Maynard James Keenan, Eric Glomski, Milla Jovovich, Fairuza Balk, Patton Oswalt, Bob Odenkirk
February 19 (Limited)

Heartless – Written and Directed by Philip Ridley
Jim Sturgess is not as bad as everyone says he is. Noel Clarke is not as cool as he thinks he is. Philip Ridley is…a guy. Wasn’t too excited about it, but then I realized it could be like a cross between Kidulthood and The Devil’s Advocate. That might be fucking cool.
Jim Sturgess, Eddie Marsan, Noel Clarke
February 26 (UK)

Toe to Toe – Written and Directed by Emily Abt
“I’m a black girl, you’re a white girl. Let’s play sports and sleep with dudes and break social boundaries to a catchy soundtrack.” I know what this looks like, but Toe to Toe has been getting a lot of buzz around the indie festivals, and it definitely looks more honest drama rather than…something with Terrence Howard or Lil Bow Wow. And they play Lacrosse…
Louisa Krause, Sonequa Martin
February 26 (Limited)

Director Joe Johnston has revealed to Fangoria in an interview about his being brought in at the last-minute as the new director of The Wolfman to replace departing director Mark Romanek that Marval Studis‘s is looking at a June 2010 start for principle photography on the upcoming movie The First Avenger: Captain America

Various names were mentioned as Romanek’s replacement, among them John Landis, Frank Darabont and CASINO ROYALE’s Martin Campbell, but it was Joe Johnston, director of JURASSIC PARK III and THE ROCKETEER, who got the nod. The clock, however, was ticking. Principal photography was now less than four weeks away. “By the time I got on a plane and arrived, it was three,” recalls Johnston, speaking from the art department of THE FIRST AVENGER: CAPTAIN AMERICA, which he’s readying for a June start. “But at that point, what kind of difference can a week make?

Captain America was killed in 2007 by a sniper’s bullet but this being the Marvel universe he was reborn, starting on July 1 2009 in a five comic book series titled Captain America: Reborn.

Rising from the dead after being killed off over two years ago, Captain America is being resurrected by Marvel Comics.

After close to 60 years in print, Marvel Comics killed off Steve Rogers, aka Captain America, in 2007, one of its most famous and beloved superheroes, amid a controversial story line.

He fought and triumphed over Hitler, Tojo, international Communism and a host of super-villains, but a sniper’s bullet cut Captain America down in 2007, a move that shocked many of his fans.

In the comic series, Rogers was to stand trial for defying a superhero registration law passed after a hero’s tragic mistake causes a 9/11-like event. Marvel said the comic story line was intentionally written as an allegory to current real-life issues like the Patriot Act, the war on terror and September 11.

Rogers eventually surrenders to police. He is later mortally wounded as he climbs the courthouse steps. It was a violent and strange end for an American hero and icon.

The primary shooter, Crossbones — working under the orders of Captain America’s longtime nemesis, the Red Skull — was caught. The identity of a second shooter is revealed in issue 600, which goes on sale Monday.

Many felt Captain America’s death in 2007 was symbolic of the time. And his return now?

“The tenor of the world now is when we’re at a point where we want to believe in heroes. Someone who can lead the way,” said Breevort. “It just feels like the right time.”

Source: Bowl of Serial

Captain America: Reborn

Captain America will be released in theaters July 22, 2011

By Perri Nemiroff: CinemaBlend.com

In an interview with AICN, The Wolfman director Joe Johnston, also the director of Jurassic Park 3, talks about the potential fourth film.

After chatting about how well the effects from the first film hold up, AICN asks Johnston if JP4 is next on his to-do list. He says “Well, there is a great story for the fourth one that I would be interested in getting involved with, and it’s nothing like the first three. It sort of takes the franchise off in a completely different direction, which is the only way I would want to get involved.” The most logical way to take the franchise in a new direction? Keep people off that damn island, of course. “Why would anybody go back to that island? It was hard enough to figure out the second and third reason for them to go, but it would take it off in a whole other trilogy basically, but when it gets to that level it’s sort of about studios and Steven’s thing and who knows. I think we are at that point where we are due for another one if we are going to do it. They had what four years between them? 1992… 1996 or 1997, and then 2001, so we are past due. I don’t know, but we will see.”

Amazon Specials!

Escape From LA

We started with escape from LA.  Kurt Russell reprises his iconic role of Snake Pliskin from Escape from New York.  Except now he’s older…and apparently with age comes awkward plot lines.  The plot you say?  Yes, the plot has a very basic premise.  Los Angeles had a major earthquake that actually separated the city from the rest of the US.  This is in the future…of course.  And what does a futuristic government do with a separated LA?  Turn it into a floating prison full of all of the people the new president deemed unfit to live in the new United States.  It’s the obvious choice.

Well, the president’s daughter steals some high tech weapon (it really doesn’t matter what it is or what it does…trust me) and she escapes to LA and gives the weapon to her revolutionary boyfriend that she met on the movie’s equivalent to matchmaker.com.  Well, of course he threatened to shut down the whole United States.  Well, there is only one man that can stop him…a man that was actually in processing to be sent to the island for crimes he committed.

Now of course he wins, and saves the day, and sticks it to the man at the end. But in between the beginning and the end is where the magic happens.  Some of my favorite parts are as follows:

1.      Constitution amended and President appointed to life term.

2.      LA referred to as the island of the damned.

3.      When you are banished to the island, you have the opportunity to repent and elect to get the electric chair before being sent to the island.

4.      He has a “mouth dart”.  Ya, it is what it sounds like….a dart that you keep in you mouth and shoot at people.

5.      In Escape from New York, Snake had to wrestle a very large man for his life.  If he lost, he died.  This movie found the tough as nails, one eyed ex soldier in a much more precarious situation.  Basketball.  Yes.  I won’t bore you with the details….but he had to play basketball for his life.

6.      His little arm band.  It had the countdown to his death on it…although I’m not sure how he kept track of his time left because… well, it was out of order!  At one point it would read 7 hours left, then it would say 7 and a half hours about ten minutes later.  Also sometimes the time would pass so slowly, other times an hour went by in about 2 minutes.

Bottom line, bad movie, bad sequel.  A quote you say?  Why not?

Military official after Snake pushed “the button”. “He did it. Snake Pliskin just shut down the planet.”

Now on to bigger and worse things.

Jurassic Park 3

Jurassic Park 3.  Oh my dear Lord in heaven.  What a terrible, terrible movie.  I don’t even know where to start.  The movie has Dr. Grant (from the 1^st Jurassic Park) as a tour guide (or so he thinks) for a rich couple.  They are searching for their son that was lost on the island from Jurassic Park 2.  Dr. Grant does not know this.  He is also unaware of the fact that they are not rich or married and that they fully intend on landing on the island.  When he finds this all out…he is none too pleased.

Well, they land against his wishes and the truth comes out.  Well, during the confessions, we are interrupted by a dinosaur rampaging through the terrain and eating random characters.  But take a second look at that dinosaur….it doesn’t look like any dinosaur I have ever seen.  It looks like a mix between a T-rex and a crocodile.  Oh…it is …it’s a “Spinosaurus”.  Ya, apparently making actual dinosaurs wasn’t enough for the JP scientists, they had to start making stuff up and stirring it together in an ostrich egg to see what hatches.

Well, of course the plane gets trashed by the Bullcraposaurus and now they are stranded on the island.  They make for the coast.  Along the way, they run into a large supply of raptor eggs.  So, the younger paleontologist does what any intelligent scientist that studies raptors and knows their behavior would do….he steals two of their eggs.   Because I’m sure they won’t care.  No, actually they are pissed and try to kill everyone.

The rest of the movie is basically a jumble of attacks, bad dialogue, failed tension and uncomfortable lines.  Now…on to the drinking game…we really did not know exactly what to use due to there being so much wrong with this movie, we did however wish to drink until until it stopped hurting.  So, we went with take a drink when this movie hurts….us.

Here is a quick rundown of some of the more memorable ones:

1.      When we pushed play at the beginning.

2.      The “Spinosaurus” in all of his made up glory.

3.      William H. Macy calling the “Spinosaurus” a “try-ciclo-plot”.

4.      The lead female getting caught in the parachute that is holding her dead husband…and the freakout that ensued.

5.      The make up between that same lead female and her ex-husband 2 minutes after she found her husband dead in the parachute.

6.      EVERYBODY YELLING!!!!  Despite Alan’s pleading for them to stop.  It’s actually a bit entertaining.  They take turns yelling for their son…and then take turns yelling at each other to not yell because it can attract the makebelieve-asaurus.

7.      The raptors set a trap for the people….ya…they did.

8.      The mad-up-asaurus ate one of the pilots earlier in the movie.  He had the satellite phone on him….so you hear it ringing…from inside it’s stomach.  So if you hear the phone, you need to run.  Until it passes…and then you have a lovely scene in the rain where the whole cast is searching through giant piles of steaming dinosaur crap.  Delightful.

9.      I was excited to see pterodactyls in the movie for once.  However I was not as excited to see Dr. Grant kick one in the face out of defense.  I mean seriously…who does that?

10.  The constant looks that the dinosaurs would give.  I can’t even describe them.  It’s like they were scheming against the humans….DINOSAURS DON’T SCHEME!!!

11.  The raptor call…oh dear GOD.  Grant uses a recreated raptor communicating tube and speaks to them….what?!

12.   Grant calls his ex girlfriend and she calls the Navy AND the Marines to come help them.  Ya, but you can’t even understand what he says on the phone because the “we-made-it-up-asaurus” was attacking them.  And within a few hours, there were 3 battleships and the Marines and Navy rescuing them. What the heck is that?  Grant took a nap on the plane flight over, so it was obviously a longer flight.  Yet somehow after only a few hours, there is an entire fleet of military on the beach to rescue everyone.

13.  Oh…speaking of Alan napping on the plane.  He had a dream.  And in the dream, he awoke in the plane to find no one else in there, not even pilots.  He then turns his head to the side, and there is a raptor sitting in the seat across the aisle.  Which looks at him….and says his name…ya…about that.

14.  And my favorite:  William H. Macy is sitting with his ex wife and son and throws out this little story:   “Do you two remember that summer that I took you fishing about 2 years ago?  I was lowering the boat into the water, and the trailer started to sink.  We called a tow truck, and he got stuck trying to get the trailer out?  That tow truck guy wanted to punch my lights out.  (pause)  …I miss fishing.”  Ya, that was the story, they got up and walked away after that.  No moral, no reason whatsoever for the story…except for the fact that William H. Macy misses fishing.

You want a quote?  I’ll give you a quote!

Lead female: (looking at the laboratory hatchery)  This is how you make dinosaurs? Dr. Alan Grant:  No.  This is how you play God.

Last night challenged us more than any other bad movie night.  It will take a long time to get the taste of Jurassic Park 3 out of my mouth.  Well, that’s all for now.  One more weekend left for bad sequel month, and I can’t wait to get into a new month.  I believe it is Bruce Campbell/Luke Perry month….eeewwww.  Then it’s December, and on into bad Christmas movies.  It’s gonna be an interesting year.

THE upcoming big-screen adaptation of Captain America will be set in the Second World War and have an Indiana Jones retro feel, it’s been confirmed.

The Incredible Hulk director Louis Leterrier told the Los Angeles Times: “I have seen some of the design work they’re doing for Captain America and it looks amazing. It’s a period piece and it’s like Raiders of the Lost Ark and with more gadgets.”

Joe Johnston is directing The First Avenger: Captain America, due out on July 22, 2011, and had previously worked on art direction for Raiders as well as directing The Rocketeer in 1991.

Leterrier added: “It’s Raiders meets Rocketeer and Saving Private Ryan. It’s going to be so cool.”

Johnston’s other credits include Honey, I Shrunk the Kids (1989), Jumanji (1995), Jurassic Park 3 (2001) and Hidalgo (2004). He is finishing work on The Wolfman remake before starting on Captain America in October.

Casting for the lead character is expected soon after that. I looked at several of the possibilities for the role in a casting call series here on The Geek Files.

Captain America will tell the story of Steve Rogers, who is enhanced by a supersoldier serum and becomes a star-spangled superhero. He ends up frozen in suspended animation and is awakened in the present day. The character will return in a contemporary setting in team-up movie The Avengers on May 4, 2012.

There have been hints at the Captain’s existence in Marvel’s movies so far. In Iron Man, Captain America’s shield is briefly visible in Tony Stark’s workshop, while a tie-in comic released with the Wal-Mart edition of the Iron Man DVD reveals that Stark’s father Howard Stark created the shield and Tony used a prototype to derive the alloy for his armour. In The Incredible Hulk, General Ross mentions a supersoldier serum developed during the war.

The image above is concept artwork by adonihs at DeviantArt. He says he met Marvel last year to show designs he had done for the Captain America movie and had also worked with a writer on a pitch for the film.

Leterrier’s interview with the Los Angeles Times also threw up some interesting thoughts about Hulk, a four-part Avengers film and the reboot of the Fantastic Four.

Das Wichtigste in Kürze:

VERGESSENE WELT – JURASSIC PARK 2 [1997]

Nach dem Erfolg von Jurassic Park war es eigentlich nur eine Frage der Zeit, bis die Fortsetzung in den Kinos anlaufen sollte. Im Gegensatz zum ersten Teil, in dem die Spannung sogar langsam aufgebaut wurde und Wert auf eine funktionierende Story gelegt wurde, dient die Handlung hier nur als Mittel zum Zweck: Irgendwie kommen halt wieder Leute auf die Insel (ok, die Nachbarinsel, aber wen kümmerts?) und kämpfen wieder ums Überleben. Oder, um es mit Jeff Goldblums Charakter zu sagen: “Ja, ‘Wow!’. Das sagt jeder am Anfang! Aber dann, dann rennen alle um ihr Leben und schreien Zeter und Mordio.”. So natürlich auch hier, und um der Fortsetzung auch ihre Daseinsberechtigung zu geben, muss natürlich alles lauter, gefährlicher, größer und brutaler sein. So haben es unsere Hauptprotagonisten eben nicht nur mit einem, sondern mit zwei Tyrannosaurus zu tun und ganz nebenbei noch mit einem Jagdtrupp von InGen. Das funktioniert in diesem Fall auch alles noch recht gut und ist ganz nett anzusehen. Für eine Fortsetzung also ein guter Film, wenn er auch bei weitem nicht an den ersten Teil heranreicht.

JURASSIK PARK 3 [2001]

Anders im dritten Teil: So langsam begann sich das Franchise abzunutzen. Um Fans des ersten Teils erneut in die Kinos zu locken, wurde Sam Neill als Alan Grant reaktiviert, der zwar nur für einen Rundflug über der Insel “gebucht” wird, von dem man aber von Anfang an weiß: Die bleiben nicht über der Insel, sondern da geht’s wohl auch AUF die Insel. Schneller noch als im zweiten Teil geht hier die Post ab und neue Dinosaurier erobern die Leinwand. Jetzt geht es auch in die Luft, denn neben neuen Raubsauriern begeben sich unsere Helden auch in ein Gehege mit Flugsauriern. Wobei Helden schon zuviel gesagt ist: Denn im Grunde ist hier niemand heldenhaft, denn alle rennen ja die ganze Zeit weg. Der weibliche Part des Ehepaars, welches Grant auf die Insel gelockt hat, ist die ganze Zeit nur am Rumschreien, ihr Mann ist die Ahnungslosigkeit in Person und Grant hat gar keinen Bock da zu sein, wo er ist. Als reiner Actionfilm für zwischendurch zwar irgendwie geeignet, mehr ist aus Jurassic Park 3 aber eben nicht herauszuholen.

DER SPONGEBOB SCHWAMMKOPF FILM [2004]

König Neptun wird seine Krone gestohlen und wer wäre besser geeignet, sie wieder zurückzubringen als Spongebob Schwammkopf und sein Freund Patrick? Natürlich niemand. Wo man am Anfang vielleicht noch Angst hat, dass man aus dieser Zeichentrick-Serie mit ihren 20-minütigen Episoden wohl kaum einen abendfüllenden Spielfilm machen kann, wird man hier eines besseren belehrt. Sicherlich wirkt der Film das ein oder andere Mal wie eine Aneinanderreihung von Sketchen aus der ein oder anderen Episode, aber besonders als Spongebob-Fan wird man hier nicht enttäuscht. Alle anderen würden sich den Film wahrscheinlich eh nicht antun. Besonders hervorzuheben ist mit Sicherheit die Szene in der Erdnussbar, mit der die Kleinsten vielleicht nur bedingt etwas anfangen können, bei der den Großen aber mit Sicherheit einiges bekannt vorkommen dürfte. Grenzwertig die Piraten zu Beginn und am Ende des Films, doch darüber kann man, erst recht weil sie nur dann auftauchen, hinwegsehen. Insgesamt ein Film für Freunde des kranken Humors, denn davon gibt es viel. Aber dafür steht Spongebob ja auch irgendwie…

ENZO FERRARI – DIE GESCHICHTE EINER LEGENDE [2006]

Da ich mich, wenn auch als Kind mehr als jetzt, schon immer ein wenig für die Scuderia interessiert habe, kam ich um diesen Film, als ich ihn entdeckte, nicht herum. Auch wenn ich vorher nie etwas davon gehört hatte, war ein gewisses Interesse auf jeden Fall geweckt. Der Beginn des Films ließ mich sofort erahnen, was sich durch ein wenig Nachschlagen auch bestätigen ließ: Bei Enzo Ferrari – Die Geschichte einer Legende handelt es sich um einen italienischen Fernsehzweiteiler, der für Deutschland umgeschnitten in die Kinos gebracht wurde. Nichts desto trotz, beginnt dieser eigentlich gut und besonders die musikalische Untermalung weiß zu gefallen. Doch mit fortlaufender Spielzeit enthüllt der Film mehr Schwächen, als ihm gut tut. Die Rahmengeschichte mit dem schmierigen Reporter wirkt wenig innovativ, wenn nicht sogar langweilig. Die anfänglich für gut befundene Musik wiederholt sich bis zum Erbrechen und lässt den Film, unterstützt durch Story und pure Heldenverehrung, im Pathos ertrinken. Kritisch hinterfragt wird hier nichts und die wahre Lebensgeschichte Ferraris war bestimmt nicht so glorreich und fehlerfrei wie in diesem Film dargestellt. Schöne Autos und vage basierend auf eventuellen tatsächlichen Ereignissen, mehr sollte man von diesem Film wirklich nicht erwarten.


(YouTube)

Jurassic Park 3 (Penguin Readers, Level 2) is available at Amazon for $9.27. To Order click here
Amazon Product Pages contain a lot of other details on this product as Customer Reviews, Sales Ranking, Special Offers, Alternate products that customers are going for and much more.Want to read these details? click here

Want to get some other Format / Binding / Version? You can search for them from here

Other Products of Interest

• Prey (Jurassic Park Adventures, 2)
• Survivor (Jurassic Park Adventures, Book 1)
• The Lost World
• Flyers (Jurassic Park Adventures, 3)
• Jurassic Park

I had some criterias for this list:

• there had to be three and only three films in the series. 
• I had to had seen them all.

NR 3: The Jurassic Park trilogyThe Jurassic park trilogy is third on my top 3 list. So what are they about? Scientists have developed a way to bring dinosaurs to life using DNA taken from dinosaurs blood. Blood that has been preserved inside insects that got trapped in amber.The first film, Jurassic Park came out in 1993. Here John Hammond has built a dinosaur park on a remote island. Hammond puts together a selected audience to view the park, and help him decide if the park is safe or not safe for the public. But things don´t go as planned, as the security system collapses. Setting the dinosaurs free.

Here is the trailer for Jurassic Park:

In 1997 it was time to go back into the Jurassic world. And The Lost World: Jurassic Park, the second film in the trilogy came out in cinemas. This time the plot is slitely different. A rich family on a yacht cruise stumbles over a second island (also known as Site B) with dinosaurs. Site B is where is dinosaurs were being bred for Jurassic Park. But after the failure of Jurassic Park the Site B was left alone, and the dinosaurs were left to themselves. A team is sent to monitor the the dinosaurs lifestyle, before InGen (the company that owns the island) goes to the island to capture the dinosaurs, to bring them back to the US as attractions.

Here is the trailer to The Lost World: Jurassic Park: 

The third and last film in the series Jurassic Park 3, came out in 2001. This time round the plot is a rescue mission. 14-year old Eric crashes on the Site B island, and his parents trick Dr. Alan Grant (surviver from the first film) to help them find him. But what the parents didn´t know was that there are two dino islands. And that Dr. Grant was on Site A, not Site B witch they land on to find their son.

Here is the trailer for Jurassic Park 3:

Why the Jurassic Park trilogy?

So we are now down to the final spot, number one. It is very close between the top 2, but the number one trilogy has the something extra.

NR 1: The Matrix trilogy

“What is The Matrix? Unfortunately, no one can be told what the Matrix is. You have to see it for yourself.” A quote from the film. The year is 1999, and one day Thomas Anderson´s PC gets hacked. He is told to follow the white rabbit. This leads his to Morpheus and Trinity, and they show him what the matrix is. Mr. Anderson gets the choice between a blue pill, and a red pill. The blue pill…….   Sorry I cant a good summary of the story because of two reasons. One, the trilogy deserves a much better summary than I can write. Two, the story is so good and complicated, that if I start a summary I wont finish. 

So here comes a very very small summary of the Matrix plot: Machines have taken control over the world. In an attempt stop the machines. We humans have taken away the machines life/power course, the sun. But we underestimated the machines. They found a way to survive, by making humans into batteries (they bred humans and turn body heat into power). But their system is flawed, we don´t live long in captivity, we need the Matrix. Mr. Anderson also known as Neo, is supposed to be our savier. I you still don´t understand what the Matrix is, watch the trilogy. Because no one can be told what the Matrix is, You have to see it for yourself. 

Here is the trailer for The Matrix:

The first film came out in 1999, the second in the trilogy, The Matrix Reloaded came out in 2003. This time round the machines are building an army to kill the last humans living outside the Matrix, in the last human city Zion. Neo has many hard choices to make in this film, choices between love and the survival of the free human race. Agent Smith (an agent from the Matrix) is now fully after Neo. 

Here is the trailer for The Matrix Reloaded:

The Matrix Revolutions, the last film in the best trilogy ever made also came out in 2003. Now the final battle is near, will the free human race survive? Will Neo win against agent Smith? 

Here is the trailer for The Matrix Revolutions:

Why The Matrix trilogy?

Where do I start, well I have got to give credit to the Wachowski brothers. They are the directors, writers and producers. The Matrix is their idea, their imagination gone wild. The Matrix is not just a sc-fi action thriller, but it has so many layers. Each time you watch it, you see a new layer. The Matrix film have got alot of attention because of t it´s ground breaking effects. But for me personally it´s the story that is the best part. The trilogy has it all, action, suspense, great twist, great actors, great effects but most of all a fantastic story. Like the Jason Bourne trilogy, you feel for the characters, you want Neo to win, but at the same time don´t want the films to finish.  

The Matrix trilogy is my favorite trilogy. 

Some of you are might be wundering why these trilogies are not on the list: Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Indiana Jones and The Godfather. Well the list is of my personal favorites. Lord of the Rings is a very good trilogy, but not one of my personal favorites. I haven´t seen all the Star Wars films so I can´t list them, the reason I haven´t seen them all is because I didn´t really like the ones I have seen. I have only seen two Indiana Jones film so I can´t list them, plus there are now four Indiana Jones films. So its no longer a trilogy. As for the Godfather trilogy, I haven´t seen any of them. I Yes I know i should have, as I do have the trilogy box on DVD. 

Well thats my list. What are your favorite trilogies?

pero el caso es que si lo abandona no se si la película sea buena ya lo vimos en muchos otros casos, alguien recuerda Jurassic Park 3? Si que faltaba Spilberg ahí.

Pero igual que la noticia de Gatubela y Angelina Jolie ya les informare luego en que quedo todo y poder descansar en paz o llorar de la pena.

After the first installments of Harry Potter and The Lord Of The Rings rocked the global box-office back in 2001, American  movie studios started buying the rights of every fantasy book they could find in the hope of striking cinematic gold. Barely any executive was able to shout “cha-ching” however, as only a handful of these opportunist films have proved successful, namely Disney’s The Chronicles Of Narnia and New Line’s The Golden Compass (sure, it bombed in the US, but it was huge everywhere else). Indeed, in their rush to shell out movies about magical worlds, studios seem to have mostly forgotten what made Potter and Rings so successful: it’s not only an established fanbase and an otherworldly setting, but mainly faithfulness, and a creative team truly invested in the source material.

Which brings us to Eragon, which is adapted from the first book in Chistopher Paolini’s Inheritance Cycle. The movie was directed by first-timer Stefen Fangmeier, a visual effects supervisor on films such as A Series Of Unfortunate Events, and adpated to screenplay form by Peter Buchman (Jurassic Park III). It stars newcomer Edward Speleers in the title role, as well as Jeremy Irons (Kingdom Of Heaven), Sienna Guillory (Resident Evil: Apocalypse), Robert Carlyle (28 Weeks Later), John Malkovich (Beowulf), Garett Hedlund (Death Sentence), Djimon Hounsou (Never Back Down), Rachel Weisz’s voice (Definitely, Maybe) and pop singer Joss Stone in her first (albeit brief) film role.

Eragon‘s story goes pretty much like this: Once upon a time, peace was kept by an order of knights with special abilities. One of these knights turned to evil however, and betrayed his comrades, killing them all (or did he?) and establishing himself as ruler of everywhere. Years later, a young blond male living at his uncle’s farm stumbles upon something stolen from the evil lord. After his family is killed, he is recruited by a wise old ex-knight and sets on a journey to join a small band of dedicated rebels, to whom the stolen item could prove extremely useful. Along the way, they will venture into one of the enemy’s fortresses to rescue the young princess who stole the thing in the first place. Sound familiar? Review and trailer after the jump.

Yes, Eragon can be pretty much be described as Star Wars in a Lord Of The Rings setting… Jedi Knights become Dragon Riders, Luke becomes Eragon, Obi-Wan becomes Brom, Princess Leia becomes Princess Arya, the Death Star plans become Saphira the dragon, the Rebel Alliance becomes the Varden, etc… At one point, Eragon even looks up at the sky, longingly observing the sunset. Elements of The Lord Of The Rings and, apparently, The Dragonriders Of Pern are also thrown in for good measure. However, all this was in the book, which was very well-received, so why would the film be any different?

Many elements contribute to Eragon being an extremely disappointing film. This could have been a huge franchise for Twentieth Century-Fox, so it’s baffling that they chose to put it in the hands of Fangmeier, who may be a very talented effects guy, but has virtually no directing experience (all he did was direct Galaxy Quest‘s second unit). However, while Fangmeier’s inexperience is surely an issue, I don’t think it’s the main one. Nor is the acting, which ranges from decent to quite solid. No, one of Eragon‘s biggest problems, in my opinion, is its length. Indeed, most of the recent successful fantasy movies have been more than two hours long (with the notable exception of The Golden Compass). Barely more than 90 minutes long, Eragon feels like it should be much, much longer. Take the first two Harry Potter and Narnia books, which are a bit more than 200 pages long, while their respective movies each clocked in at about two hours and thirty minutes. By comparision, Eragon is around 500 pages long, and I swear to you this hampers the film. Events seem to happen one after the other, with little room for development and explanation, such as Eragon apparently mastering the elven language in under ten minutes. You can plainly see where scenes were taken out, and this is one film which could truly gain from an extended/director’s cut. Also, there’s the fact that most of the film’s props look ridiculously fake.

So should you dismiss Eragon as the turd everyone makes it out to be? Not really. Despite its many flaws and bad choices such has the long stark black nails every villain sports and its awkward handling of the clichéd storyline, the film is much better than, say Uwe Boll’s BloodRayne or Jeremy Irons’ previous fantasy effort, Dungeons & Dragons. The special effects aren’t groundbreaking, but they’re good enough. The cinematography is quite decent, though not to the level of The Lord Of The Rings. And sure, the storyline is conventional, but it’s a convention that has proven it’s worth time and time again. Also the score by Patrick Doyle (Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire) is excellent and features a memorable, heroic theme. To conclude, if The Lord Of The Rings is the Dark Knight of fantasy movies, then Eragon would be Fantastic Four.

Eragon was critically bashed upon its release, and was a box-office flop in the US, though it performed quite well overseas. The possibility of a sequel is however extremely unlikely and Fox seems to have missed its fantasy franchise opportunity, ironically in a play to make more money (epic fail). As for Stefen Fangmeier, he’s gone back to visual effects work, most recently in this summer’s Wanted.

Verdict: don’t expect much out of it, but a decent alternative if you’re tired of rewatching Star Wars and The Lord Of The Rings. Eragon currently hold a 5/10 on IMDB and a 15% on Rotten Tomatoes.

More “Movies Of The Day”