Loverage is a term I got from the book, The One Minute Millionaire by Mark Victor Hansen.  The book stated that in order to become rich, do what you love to do and do what you are passionate about.  Thomas Edison said it best: “I never did a day’s work in my life. It was all fun.”

That is LifeStyle living folks, doing what we love to do and getting paid for doing it.  Tiger Woods plays golf, NBA players love to play basketball and they earn a ton of money doing it, actors love to perform, and entrepreneurs provides good products and services the masses can use and get paid a lot for doing it. Entrepreneurs love to make money!

I had an aha moment the other night.  We had an early Thanksgiving meal and of course we were asked what we were thankful for.  Certainly, I am thankful for the really blessed life I am living right now and I realized that for the first time in my life, I have a clear direction of what kind of life I want to live, the kind of LifeStyle I want to live and I build it by doing something I am so passionate doing; I’m in the business for people who love helping people.  I help people and I get paid doing it.  Now that is Loverage!!!!

What are you passionate about doing?  And how can we make money doing what we love to do?  In the words of Art Williams, just Do IT!

Have you ever felt fearful?  Do you worry a lot?  Do you feel unsafe in your own home or community?  Do you spend a lot of time thinking about your own safety?  Do you worry about your future?  Do you worry about the swine flu outbreaks?  Do you worry about your health?  Do you dwell on illness and death?  Do you worry about your job?  Do you worry about your safety on the highways?  Are your fears seemingly endless?

Well, did you know that  according to Dr. W.F. Peate in his book “Native Healing : Four Sacred Paths to Health”, the more pessimistic you are the more likely you are to develop heart disease?  He writes that  the Veteran’s Affairs Normative Aging study looked at over 2800 men over the past 46 years  and found that those who were deemed pessimistic developed  heart disease more often than not.  He reports that the results were based their findings on the Minnesota Multiphasic  Personality Inventory.  They found that pessimists had twice as much heart disease as optimistic people.  Think about that…could we be attracting the very thing that kills us because we dwell on all the negatives?

Dr. Peate also asks the question of… “what has the greatest effect on the differences in heart disease between rich and poor neighborhoods:  income, education, occupation, smoking, physical activity, diabetes, blood pressure, type of cholesterol, weight or body mass index?”

He stated that …”the answer, based on research in Britain and across the United States, may surprise us.”   He states that “Something beyond genetics, lifestyle, behavior, income, or health care disparities affect our health.”  Dr. Peate reports that “researchers suggest two areas for intervention…enhancing the social and psychological resources of individual people and improving the quality of neighborhoods and communal life.”

M.G. Marmot, one of the authors of an important study that Peate quotes in his book, states that, “My own view is that the mind is a crucial gateway through which social influences affect physiology to cause disease.  The mind may work through effects on health-related behavior, such as smoking, eating, drinking, physical activity, or risk taking, or it may act through effects on neurendocrine or immune mechanisms.”  Basically there is a good chance that what we think and feel affects our wellbeing.

Our bodies are marvelous machines that we need to understand and take care of.  The social influences in the neighborhoods we live in do affect our health.  Those people who feel that the world is out to get them will likely not fare as well as people who take responsibility for their bad decisions and make attempts at changing their behavior.  Those who blame others feel hopeless to change things while those who accept their part in things will make the changes needed.  It is the glass half full/half empty syndrome.

We recently visited relatives in Florida.  They live in a small 55 and over trailer parks.  What I observed there really made an impact on my thinking.  It seemed that those residents spend an inordinate amount of time talking about, thinking about, and sharing their thoughts on death and dying.  It seemed that who died, who was sick, and how sick they were was the primary theme of conversation on a continuous basis.  It permeated the community.  I hate to say this, but it seemed as if most of those people had gone there to wait to die.  That was their primary focus.

There were a few who organized bingo nights, karaoke, potluck dinners, etc.  However, the majority of the people did not attend.  Their lives consisted of game shows and dwelling on their illnesses.    And, the consequences of this negative focus was prevalent.  People just got sicker and sicker until they died.  Those who tried to create a life seemed hopeless and soon quit trying within the community.  Only those who sought activities outside the community seemed to fare better health wise. My theory is that the collective negative energy produced in the trailer park contributed to the pessimistic attitudes of the residents and thus a negative spiral existed.

Again let me suggest that you go to Youtube.com and type in “Quantum Physics applied to mind power” and listen to the various video clips that appear there.  It is quite the eye opener.  I was thinking that most workshops, symposiums, lectures, etc. are aimed at informing and changing thought.  It is obvious that those involved in these activities realize that good comes from thought changing ideas or they wouldn’t waste their time doing it.  All the self help books on the shelves are based on information and changing thought.  Psychologists and doctors spend a great deal of time trying to change our direction.

So, here we are at a cross roads of sorts.  We can embrace change or we can keep going down the same road.  We can change the way we think and feel or we can keep doing the same things we have always done.  The outcome, however, is becoming much clearer.  We have a choice to make in how we choose to live the rest of our lives.  We can work to change our communities for the better or we can live in fear and worry ourselves to death.  We can improve the lives of those around us, and by doing this, change our own life, or we can sit back and feel helpless and hopeless and continue the negative spiral we have been going down.

The choices are clear and our options sit before us.  What will you do?

Chris

How many times have you stood or sat there watching something happen but hesitating to say anything or do anything? How many times have you hesitated to ask a question or take an action? Think about an instance where you hesitated and what has it cost you. Hesitation is PAINFUL.

I have struggled with my fair share of hesitation and procrastinating and it has caused me the sort of freedom and power to really make a change in this world. It has caused me years of unrealized potential. I’ve been to hell and back and as your teacher, would I want to see you all walk towards a cliff?

We hesitate all the time. The reasons my students give me is because they don’t know what they want and they don’t even know what they don’t know. Now, I have to admit, there are circumstances in my life where I have felt the same way too. The difference between me and you though, is that I face it in one aspect of life while the rest of you face it in ALL aspects of life.

If you don’t know what you want, it’s called a lack of CLARITY i.e. being clear and seeing clearly what you want. I cannot imagine how anyone can drive full-speed ahead if they can’t see where they’re going.

Not knowing what you know and what you don’t know is a problem of AWARENESS. If you are not aware of yourself and your thoughts, it clouds you more and more as time goes by and soon you will have imagination myopia.

Sometimes, people hesitate because they lack the confidence to take action. Now, what is confidence? Is confidence something we gain or something we stop ourselves from losing? When you look at a baby or a little child, aren’t they confident in trying things out, falling down, attempting to sound words? So, is confident something we have to GAIN or something we have to simply prevent ourselves from LOSING?

A lot of times we complicate matters. Confidence, for instance. People keep saying, “gain confidence” but it’s really complicated teaching someone how to be confident. I get that all the time from strangers, people want to know how a young, single parent like me from a mediocre background can be so confident.  They ask me, “Teacher, how do I LEARN TO BE CONFIDENT?” I usually don’t give a detailed answer to that. You know why?

Confidence is not something you gain or you learn. It’s something you are. It’s your natural state of being. The only way people lose who they naturally are is BECAUSE THEY LIE TO THEMSELVES ALL THE TIME about who they are, what they want and who they want to be. THAT is how you lose your confidence - by lying to yourself again and again and again.

You don’t hesitate because you’re not confident; you’re not confident because you hesitate. Get it?

I look at people around me and they lie to themselves all the time. I lie to myself too; I tell myself I don’t have a weight problem. But why am I not confident walking down the beach in a skimpy bikini? I don’t have a weight problem, do I ? Each time we deny ourselves or we allow ourselves to be denied, we lie to ourselves. And this constant programming of not trusting ourselves and who we are and what we want makes us INCONFIDENT.

You might be wondering, if I KNOW the truth that I’m lying about having a weight problem, then why am I hesitating to do something about it? I don’t. I don’t KNOW I have a weight problem because to KNOW something is to LIVE it, not to say it or discuss it or write about it. The difference between a THINKER and a BELIEVER is that the Thinker Thinks it while the Believer Believes it. And the only way to know the difference is whether the THOUGHTS translate into FEELINGS that drives the ACTIONS to get the results that you want.

Another reason why people hesitate is because the pain of hesitation has not yet exceeded the pain of what is going to happen if they continue tolerating this pain. People who can tolerate a lot of pain are PAINFUL people. It’s painful to live like them, it’s painful to watch them, it’s painful to listen to them and it’s painful to just sit around them. They’re a real pain. Really. Until and unless a major upheaval happens that causes MORE PAIN than the pain of hesitation, a person is not likely to Change. It’s like holding on to a kettle until the water starts boiling. You won’t let go of it until you scald and burn.

Life is simple. To avoid unnecessary suffering, pain and sorrow, simply live your life being less tolerant of pain. The only good pain I know comes from a good healing massage and reflexology. I can’t think of any other forms of unnecessary pain worth tolerating .

Hesitation is painful. Just do it.

There are many versions of the Stone Soup story.  The one I am sharing is the only version I have run across personally:

During World War II a young soldier found himself isolated in a small French Town.  This particular town had little food and many of the inhabitants were starving.  It was desperate times for all.  The town’s people were reluctant to share what little they had out of fear for their own survival.  They watched the soldier carefully from curtained and shuttered windows to see what he would do.

They watched the soldier as he rummaged through the piles of discarded items that littered the streets.  Many people had left with what they could carry, leaving some things behind to lighten their loads.  He hunted for several hours before he returned to the fire he had built outside an abandoned building.  In his hand he carried an old dented soup pot, an old rusty fire grate, and a large kitchen spoon.  He had found a small trickle of water spilling from a broken spigot that used to provide clear spring water to the  the town square fountain.   He carried the pot to the fountain and  went about filling the old pot with the fresh spring water.    He then carried it back to his fire where he had placed, over the fire,  the metal grate that he had also found while foraging.  Then the town’s people saw him search the ruins until he found a stone, which he placed in the pot.  The soldier then sat down and waited patiently.

Soon the mayor of the town strolled by.  “What are you doing there?” he asked the soldier.

“I am making stone soup,” was the soldier’s reply.  The mayor rubbed his chin and proceeded to walk to his home that was just down the street.

The grocery store owner also stopped by to see what the soldier was doing.  “What are you cooking there?” the store keeper asked.

“I am making stone soup,” was the soldier’s reply.  The store keeper also continued to walk to his grocery store that was now barren of food.

Throughout the day many of the town’s people strolled by asking of the soldier.  Suddenly the mayor arrived a carrots in his hand.  “Can you use this carrot in your stone soup?” the mayor inquired.  “It isn’t much but you can have it.”

“Thank you,” the soldier said as he took out his pocket knife, cut up the carrot and through the pieces into the pot with a plop.  The mayor turned to the north toward where his office was.

Again, the store keeper arrived bearing two potatoes that he had scavanged from his ravished stores from his grocery. “I have these two potatoes.  Can you use them in your stone soup?”

“Why, yes I can.  Thank you!” he said as he again pulled out his pocket knife and cut up the potatoes into small pieces and threw them into the steaming pot with a plop.  The soldier sat back and waited patiently.

All that day people from the town would walk by offering a small amount of what they had to the soldier for his stone soup.  By the end of the day the smell drifted all through the town.  The town’s people gathered at the soldier’s fire and watched the soup boil.  When the soup was ready the soldier stood and addressed the crowd.  “All of you are welcome to share this pot of soup with me.”

That day the entire town was fed by that one pot of soup.  It was the first hot meal they had had in a very long time.  Alone, they had not even enough to feed themselves, but together, they were able to feed an entire village.

Now, this is not a story of charity but of helping each other.  Those who had a little shared it with the whole.  Those who didn’t have shared the reward.  I am sure that those who had not given went back to their homes and found things to share with the town.  I am sure that there were many other days of stone soup.  Those who did not have to give, gave of their time.  They hunted for more pots, started fires, gathered firewood, contacted people to help, and did what they could to contribute.  There was no charity here, but people working together to help each other.

Look around you.  Surly there are people, families, neighborhoods that can use your skills, expertise, or labor to improve their living standard just a bit.  Is there an abandoned building that can be raised and a park created in its place?  Is there a neighborhood watch group organizing in your neighborhood?  Why not join?  Is there a senior citizen that could use a plate of cookies and a bit of conversation?  Is there a young mother that could use a day just for herself?  Why not offer to watch her children for a day so she can relax and enjoy what ever her heart’s desire? And, while you are at it, why not share your parenting and child rearing skills with her.  Perhaps she doesn’t have anyone to mentor her.  Perhaps she doesn’t have someone she can talk to when she is stressed or worried.  Perhaps she needs your gentle wisdom to teach her the mothering skills she is lacking.  These are small things that can make a big difference

Are there parents who need a car pool?  Is there a school bus stop that needs an adult to watch the children until they are on the bus or to walk them home?  Is there an elderly neighbor who could benefit from a handy man, or is there  a neighbor child who needs a little extra money for doing small things around your home?

We are not islands.  What we do or not do affects others.  It’s the ripple effect.  Everything you do or don’t do sends out energy into the cosmos and in turn, it comes back to you.  This is not about charity.  This is about raising up the quality of life for yourself and others.  One hour a day once each week or every two weeks, is a small sacrifice to make someone else’s life better while  helping yourself in the process.  Not only are you raising up your neighborhood one person at a time, but you are teaching your children and other neighborhood children to give rather than to be takers.

You could organize an after school program where those who need to teach can come and provide the children with a varied insight into their lives and the lives of others.  Or, you could simply open your home to those children who may be latch key kids.  It used to be that multiple generations lived under one roof and the children benefited from the wise counsel of their elders.  Today, seniors are looked upon as a burden and as senile, having no value.  An after school program where those elders can share their vast knowledge and experience and perhaps change the views of their own generation toward young people as well as change the views of young people towards seniors, would be a benefit to any community.  It also gives the elders a sense of being needed and it provides the children with someone to look up to…surrogate grandparents.

It doesn’t take much to send a plate of cookies over to the widow next door.  It doesn’t take much to invite a latch key kid over for an after school snack with your own children.  Make sure you talk to the parents first, of course.  Nothing should be done without their knowledge and involvement.  Perhaps they can give a bit of their time to help as well.  Who knows, it takes a village to raise a child, and it only takes one person to change their neighborhood’s vision.  Why not start a neighborhood vision committee and hold a neighborhood barbeque or pot luck and discuss those things that your neighbors need.  You might be surprised at what you discover.

Now, on the same subject, I just received “The Most Important Gift Catalog in The World”.  It is called Heifer.   The Heifer International project was established to help people and families move toward self-reliance.  Through this organization if you give just $500.00 a heifer will be given  to a family in third world countries, or you can share the gift by giving $50.00 with others who can’t afford the entire cost. For $1,000.00  a family will receive a Milk Menagerie of four milk producing animals such as one heifer, two goats, and a water buffalo.  Or you can share the expense by giving just $100.00.  The gift of a goat is only $120.00 or $10.00 to share the gift expense.  A pig will cost you $120.00 or $10.00 to share the gift expense.  A sheep will cost you $120.00 or just $10.00 to share the gift expense.  You can give a Knitting Basket gift which includes 4 wool producing animals and the cost is only $500.00 or $50.00 to share the gift expense.    You can give a trio of rabbits for $60.00 or $10.00 to share the gift expense.  You can donate a flock of chicks for just $20.00.  You can even give the gift of bees for just $30.00.  If bees aren’t your bag, how about $150.00 for the gift of a Llama or $20.00 to share the gift expense.  Oh, and then there is the water buffalo.  $250.00 will give the gift of a water buffalo or $25.00 to share the expense.  There are also camels, oxen, donkeys, ducks, guinea pigs, and geese.  You can give the gift of tree seedlings as well as grass seeds so that the animals can be fed.  All this comes with training and instruction for the happy recipients.  So, this year, even though times are tough for us all, why not put the energy of generosity out into the universe so that it can come back to you.

“If you give a man a meal he can feed himself for one day.  If you teach him how to garden, he can feed himself for a year.  The Heifer program is not charity.  It is giving those in need a helping hand up so that they can in turn, give back to their families and their communities.  If we rid the world of hunger, we will rid the world of wars and we teach people to be self-reliant.

So go to:  www.heifer.org/gift

Chris

Hey there,  Mike and I are on Day #6 of our newest venture the “weight loss challenge.”  I want to lose 15 lbe,  Mike about 25lbs.  We’d love if you would join us (if you need to!)

We will be posting weekly video’s (http://TheRealParents.tumblr.com) of us getting back on the horse of working out and eating better. 

Just last night, I discovered how easy it is to make baked chicken.  I know, sounds lame, but I always grilled it (only when warm outside), which blocks out about 5 months in NJ. 

Mike just cut up boneless, skinless chicken (w/o hormones, antibiotics…) and then put it into a baking dish at 375 degrees covered with foil for about 35 minutes. 

In the meantime…I made a packet of low fat alfredo sauce, steamed broccoli and ziti, and tossed it.  Delicious!  It tastes just like the Lean Cuisine version (Hearty Portion) meal I loved years ago. 

So excited,… now can cook the chicken twice a week, season differently each time, and voila… new, easy, low fat meals!  Tomorrow I’m gonna put spag sauce on the chicken and low fat mozz cheese for chix parm!  Yum! 

Until next time,… come subscribe to our video blog for the latest reality weight loss videos at http://TheRealParents.tumblr.com.

Best,  Sandy (& Mike) http://www.TheRealParents.com

I realize now that I have lost focus when it comes to the reason I started this blog.  There have been occasions when I needed to vent, but now, I see that the purpose is not an emotional outlet for me, but rather a sharing of my years of experience to help you change your life.  Recently I have been thinking about important things to share.  What can I say to guide you gently towards the changes you want to make in your own life?

I have been learning about Quantum Physics and that according to many scientists, we are the creators of our own reality.  Further, that if we would only get out of our own way, we could create a life of  joy and plenty.  As strange as this sounds, I don’t think that the theories here conflict with my own personal religious beliefs.  Actually, I think that in many ways it validates those beliefs.  Quantum Physics, for most scientists, is the closest they have come to scientifically proving that we religious people have been right all along.  And, that regardless of a person’s religion, intelligent design is part of what they are discovering from the study of Quantum Physics.

Surprised?  I was.  You might want to check out Youtube.com and type in “Quantum Physics applied to mind power“.  You will be enlightened and amazed that the scientific community is coming around to believe in Intelligent Design.  Having said that, let’s get on with the “getting out of our own way” part.  Whether you are religious or not, this is the part that is important.

We are that we should have joy.  If this is true then why are we so unhappy?  Why do we keep doing the same things over and over again, yet expect a different result?  Because we are standing in our own way and don’t understand what we are doing that is keeping us from being happy, we are programed to continue to be unhappy.

So what is needed to change this continual unhappy loop?  We need to change our thinking.  Now, the laws of Quantum Physics tell us that we have infinite possibilities.  Quantum Physics is the physics of possibilities.  There are infinite options and potentials.  However, we are programed by our childhood and the thinking of those around us, not to mention society in general, to think a certain way.  For example:  I grew up in a Blue Collar household and was told that I should be satisfied with what I had and that there was a whole world out there, (white collar), that I would never be able to crack.  I continued that thinking, limiting myself in every way until I started college just before my divorce.  There, doors and windows were opened to this world of White collar and I just had to step through.  I suddenly was not content with my average Blue Collar existence because I knew that I didn’t have to settle.  Options and Possibilities were suddenly within my grasp and there was no going back.

There is nothing wrong with wanting more.  There is nothing wrong with desiring.  There is nothing wrong with wanting what we have a right to have.  Coveting others for their accomplishments makes us unhappy.  It’s not the wanting, it is the coveting.  So, if you need more money in your life, or want a better house, or need to lose weight, or find a better job…no matter what it is, don’t whine and complain about what you don’t have…start thinking about getting it.  There lies the magic wand.

Let me try and explain.  I need to lose weight.  I am unhappy with myself right now.  This is the one struggle I have left that defeats me at every turn.  Instead of visualizing myself thin and asking for it and expecting it, I complain and whine and commiserate with others with like problems and basically covet the lean bodies of others.  What I don’t do is focus on being thin.  I have programmed myself to expect failure instead of success. I surround myself with those who have similar issues.  I attend meetings with those who have similar issues.  In every way I perpetuate the status quo.   I am standing in my own way.  In order for me to become the person I need to be to be happy, I have to get out of my own way.  And to do that I have to stop telling the story of why I am the way I am and start living as if I have already achieved my goal.

What has happened to me in the past does not matter.  What matters is the now and the future.  Dwelling on past only keeps us repeating the past.  We must now step into the present, shed the past as if it were a snake skin, and like the snake, grow and expand our present and think about what we want in the future.

Let’s say that your love life sucks.  I used to say that knowing what I don’t want is as important as knowing what I do want.  Well, I was wrong.  As long as I focused on what I didn’t want, I continued to get what I didn’t want.  It was only when I focused on what I did want that my present husband came into my life.  While no one is perfect, I got the one thing that I desired…an improvement in my financial status.  While money doesn’t bring happiness, it can make life easier.  And my life has been a lot easier than it had been in the past.  I wasn’t rich, but I was comfortable.  And that reduced my stress and increased the potential for happiness.  It also improved the quality of my health greatly.  And, without health, the rest doesn’t matter much.

I have no regrets.  My past is part of who I am now.  Without those experiences, good and bad, I would not be who I am and I like who I am now.  So, rather than be angry, resentful, sad or be consumed with the negative feelings out of my past, I choose to live in the now and plan for the future.

Here is what you do now…write on a piece of paper all the hurts and bad things that have happened to you in the past.  Write down all the names of those who have hurt you.  Write down all the snide remarks, the hurtful comments, the jokes at your expense, the snubs, the ridicules, the physical hurts, the emotional hurts, the spiritual hurts…. and when you are done start a fire in the fireplace, out back on the driveway, in the firepit where you roast marshmallows, in a garbage can out on the cement pad or the patio, or in the barbque grill…anywhere that is safe for you to burn.

After you have started the fire, go down your list and let go of the experience and the feelings.  Forgive the person who caused them.  Then, when you are done reading your list, wad the paper up and throw it in the fire.   Now, you must never dwell on them again.

Now, you need to make a list of what you want, need and desire.  This is called a Universe List.  This is your way of asking for what you want, need and desire.  This is the first step in getting what you want.  These are the things that you dwell on from this day forward.  Be very detailed in your list. Let’s say you want a boat.   Don’t just say, I want a boat.  Describe the boat and where you want to sail it.  Describe the life you want to live surrounding the boat.  List the people you want in your life while sailing this boat.  What do you want to be doing?  Where do you want to live?  How do you look?  How do you feel while living this life?  Oh, and make sure you list how you are going to get the boat.  How much money will it take?  When do  you want the boat?  Leave out no detail.  This is what  you think and feel about now.  If you want more money list how much more.  Let the Universe know if you want happiness, health, peace, joy, love, adventure, or anything else  you may need.  If you want to help others put them in your list and tell what needs you want to be able to meet of theirs and how much money you will need to do this.  If you want to start a business, make a business plan as part of your list and include everything you need to know about your business.  Visualize where it will be, how big it will be, the size building it will need, or for home based businesses, what equipment you will need or the skills you will need, the training you will need, etc.

Each time you start to relive the past, consciously bring the present and the future into your thoughts.  Sit down and re-read your Universe list.  As you accomplish the things on your list, cross them off and add more as they come to you.  Pretty soon you will see how much you have accomplished toward your happiness.

According to the scientists who study Quantum Physics, what you think is what you get. Change your thinking and new things will come to you.  Get out of your own way and discard your old skin.  Focus on the changes you want in your life and don’t be surprised when they happen!!!!!!!!!!!!  That’s what is supposed to happen.  You are supposed to get what you want.  So Sit down and write your discard list and then let go of the past so the future can happen.   This is the perfect time to create a soul collage as a visual reminder of what you want, need, and desire.  Find a picture of a slim person to remind you of what you want.  Find a picture of the perfect boat.  Find a picture that represents the lifestyle you want to live or a quality you want in a mate.  Create a collage and place it in plain view.

Chris

“I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career.

I’ve lost almost 300 games.

Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot, and missed.

I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life.

And that is why I succeed.”

Watch the commercial.

I don’t know about you, but when i was a kid, I only got one pair of Pumas and the first of  many rules that came with the ‘advantages’ of having a pair was ‘DO NOT KICK ROCKS’ and ‘DO NOT KICK THE BALL’ with them shoes.

Now, older and wiser i have designed the ‘PUMA KICKROCKS‘ so you could unleash the monster and let go while happily kick all the rocks you want with this kicks.

You can purchase the new Puma Kickrocks by Ali-G at the Puma Mongolian Shoe BBQ site

Ignorance is bliss.

This week’s installment of effective coaching toward a successful business.  Michael’s message continues to offer the weekly value we have come to expect.  Digest the following the be closer to your greatness… CSea Perkins

_______

I was at our local market place savoring a nice apple pie a la mode when I struck a conversation with some people there.

We got around to talking about selling and one of them, I discovered, used to work for the local and very large telephone company.

She told me she became the top sales person in the first month she joined. And then after that her ranking plummeted.

I asked her why that was, and her reply was something that all of us might pay attention to…

She said, “In the first month no one told me I was in the sales department. All they told me during my training was that people would call looking for a phone service and that I was to help them find what they needed and help them buy it.”

“So in the first month you didn’t think of yourself as a sales person?” I asked.

“No, I didn’t! And when I found out I was, by looking at the board where the month’s sales reports is posted, and seeing my name under salespeople, something happened to me… and the number of customers I serviced after that went down.”

“So how did you go about serving your customers in the first month” I probed.

“Well I would ask questions and give them the correct features depending on their requirements.”

“So why did it all change?”

“Because before I never saw myself as a salesperson, and then I saw that I was!”

“And what’s a… ’salesperson’… in your minds eye?”

“You know, someone who is trying to sell something… trying to persuade them to buy our service… I just couldn’t do that…”

“But you could do what you were doing in the first month – yes?”

“Yes!”

“So let me ask you… what if in reality selling is really what you were doing in your first month… and not what you saw on the board… would that have made a difference?”

“What do you mean?”

“What I mean is… What if the true essence of selling is really what you were doing in the first month… serving and helping people get what they need and giving it to them if you have the right solution… and not all that other stuff you thought it was? Would that have made a difference?”

“Yes. So, you’re saying that’s what selling is really all about?”

“From my perspective, absolutely, yes! It’s also the dictionary’s perspective as well, if you look back a few hundred years for its original definition. The original definition is that selling is to serve, to help and also to exchange… not to manipulate or persuade. So how does that make you feel?”

She laughed and said, “I guess that was what I was doing. Serving.”

“And if you hadn’t read that notice board with the word ’salespeople’ do you think your time at the phone company would have been more fun and profitable?”

“Absolutely, yes… I’ll bear that in mind for the future.”

This particular story has a number of points that will help you with your Network Marketing business.

Firstly, it illustrates very clearly the power of the first principle of Natural Selling. That is, the purpose of your business is to help other people solve their problems. When the lady I was talking with focused on this, her job was easy, fun, profitable and fulfilling.

However, when she started to focus on her “agenda” as I call it (that is, when she started to think that she had to ’sell’ her company’s service) things started to go wrong. She didn’t enjoy what she was doing and her results were not as good.

I talk more about this principle, and the other three principles of Natural Selling, in chapter 3 of my book “How To Sell Network Marketing Without Fear, Anxiety Or Losing Your Friends!“

Secondly, it demonstrates what selling is really about and how anyone can do it when they see it as it really is, (helping other people to get what they want… and not what they think it is!)

Unfortunately, many people (and Distributor’s) are not exposed to this. As a result have a negative view of selling.

But if you can let them see that selling isn’t what they think it is, then you’ve removed a block that might have prevented them from joining your business. I talk about this more in role plays number one and number five of my audio program “Introducing Your Business And Products“.

So, focus on your purpose and remember what selling is really about. You’ll find that not only will you help other people, but you’ll also get what you want without stress and quicker than you thought possible.

Have a peaceful and prosperous week…

If you’d like to leave a comment about this article please click here

Best Selling Author of “How to Sell Network Marketing Without Fear, Anxiety or Losing Your Friends!“ – Selling from the Soul. Ancient Wisdoms. Modern Practice.

ari ni plan nak g klinik; jumpa dr sbb ada sakit gatal2 kulit. ntah le, asyik gatal2 je kulit aku ni; naik cam ruam ngan parut pun ade..>_<

x nak le citer pasal benda alah tu..kui3. smngt le bgn agak awal; dlm kul 10. tu pun agak ‘liat’ sbb dh membeku dlm selimut. =)) g le klinik, walaupun ari ni hujan; tmbh2 lagi suhu yg bwh 10°C. :-O tp yg men-tensyen-kan bla smpai je, klinik tutup. lol..ari kamis tutup le plak. (-_-;)

ok lah, g mkn kat hokuo (feymes bakeri kat jepun) jap b4 blk…^^ blk2 jap. relax2 n settle everythin down. rsa gatal2 (bukan gatal mende len k) ni menjadi2 n membuatkan diriku ni nak gak g klinik; even at that is about 1.30 p.m. kna g lab kul 2.40 n presentation kul 3. x pe le; g je lah, sempat blk kut. google 皮膚科 (pakar kulit ?) n jumpa le klinik yg buka ari ni n dekat le gak. tp kna nek tren gak..=( n buka kul 2.

so g je lah. smpai2 ramai le plak..adoyai. terpaksa le tunggu. at that time, i messaged my lab-mate that i will be late to the lab due to this thing..@_@ so, i hope they can do without me *wink* if i didn’t show myself there.

actually this is my 1st time going to the clinic after more than a year in japan. gee~

so, tunggu je lah. smpai abis sumer mende settle kat klinik tu. yg x tahannye mhl le plak caj kat klinik tu; ±1500yen n kna bayar 300yen lak bla nk amek ubat kat farmasi. >_< rsa cam cekik darah le plak. x pe lah..

blk2 rumah smpai dlm kul 4 lbh. kelam-kabut jadinye sbb x smyg asar lg. fyi, maghrib msk kul 4.33 kat kwsn my house ari ni =p dh alang2 nk maghrib, tunggu je lah maghrib terus..gee~

at that time, i messaged my lab-mate again to say sorry for not coming the presentation. (_ _)

ごめんね、行かなくて

大丈夫だよ

i hope dey’all did well.

last2 x g pun lab ari ni..lolz~

rasa bersalah lak sbb agak x ckp byk dgn diorang mg ni. ‘bad mood’ gak le..hahaha.

namaku disalah eja oleh mak cik kat farmasi td..huhu

#hope next week i can tolerate with them, n they too#

Sometimes you never know where inspiration will come from.  Sometimes you give it.  Sometimes you receive it.  Sometimes both from the same transaction. My friend Sylvia calls this “God’s economy.”

From time to time people will contact me seeking inspiration, advice or motivation for an endeavor or life change.  Its an awesome position to be in.

Last year after my NPR Interview I received a letter from a woman seeking advice on a career in wellness.  When cleaning my office recently, I found her letter and immediately penned a thoughtful response and included my cell number.

She called today.

I was glad to be able to help her on her way.  She is in education but is passionate about teaching Tai Chi, aromatherapy and wellness in general.  We spoke.  I gave her the advice I could and  offered to email helpful information.

It seems like I inspired her.  And I may have.  But, I was also affirmed in the fact that not only am I blessed to create and practice a career I love, but that others can benefit in ways I never imagined.

My aunt told me about this woman from her church who speaks to African American men in prison.  She said she takes a cut-out from the LA Times of a young entrepreneur with her.  She wanted to show them a visual example of what they can achieve.  My aunt asked the name of the business man and her friend replied, “Terry Carter.”

I’m humbled.

I’m inspired.

“Your difficulty is not contained, primarily, in the situation which gave rise to it, but in the mental state with which you regard that situation and which you bring to bear upon it.” – Byways of Blessedness

It is one of the most difficult lessons to accept, understand and learn.

Circumstances are not negative or positive, circumstances are neutral.

It is our thinking, our mental state, our perspective, that makes a circumstance positive or negative.

Bob Proctor does some of the best teaching on this subject, using a universal law he refers to as the Law of Polarity.

“Everything in the universe has its opposite. There would be no inside to a room without an outside. You have a right and left side to your body, a front and a back. Every up has a down and every down has an up. The Law of Polarity not only states that everything has an opposite — it is equal and opposite. If it was three feet from the floor up to the table, it would be three feet from the table down to the floor. If it is 150 miles from Manchester to London, by law it must be 150 miles from London to Manchester; it could not be any other way.

“If something you considered bad happens in your life, there has to be something good about it. If it was only a little bad, when you mentally work your way around to the other side, you will find it will only be a little good.” Using Bob’s example, when I find myself in trying circumstances I put the circumstance in the middle of a circle.  I then mentally walk around the circumstance until I’m on the other side.  Then I let my mind go to work examining things from that perspective.  And I’m never disappointed at what I find.

During a tele-seminar I conducted with Randy Gage, he used a very good example of this. While the flat tire you have seems to be a negative circumstance to you, it’s a very positive circumstance for your local tire dealer. Looking even further it’s possible that while changing the tire the dealer discovers a much more serious problem that would have cost you a large sum of money if discovered later.

So it’s even more clear from Bob’s teaching that every circumstance can be viewed two ways. It’s the way we view a circumstance that determines it’s impact on our thinking and mental state. And we know from James Allen’s teaching that that determines the quality of life that we live.

No matter how bad the circumstance appears to be, taking another look, from another perspective, reveals to us the good. Or, as Napoleon Hill, author of the classic Think and Grow Rich, wrote, “Every adversity, every failure and every heartache carries with it the seed of an equivalent or a greater benefit.”

And that’s worth thinking about.

Have an awesome week!

Vic Johnson

As a semtimental fool as i am and more often than not you could have easily persuade me to do more of your bidding if you just  know which button to click. Im not as hard as you think i am. A simple smile could easily win me over or even a cup of coffee could do the trick especially in the morning. Im maybe difficult but not that difficult if you just tried even harder. I already wasted a lot of my time making demand for myself to be the perfect human being as possible and maybe it wasn’t worth it..not a single of it!! I wouldn’t dream of wasting another precious of my time thinking of what could have been or what it might been if my stupid pride didn’t get in the way. As the page of your book finally come to an end so does a great love story thats already been long finished before it even starts.  But just so you know it isn’t  too late to try and make it possible. Knowing that your heart were on the right track destiny simply couldn’t stand a chance..

Today’s Schedule and Goals

1. 8 am Housework I am going to clean for 15 minutes in the Kitchen, Living room, and Bathroom. Make my bed and get laundry going. I have found the best way to keep up on the housework is to do it a little every day. Flylady.net is fantastic way to get started if you find that you are behind on your home and it is just a fantastic organization/cleaning system. For those interested the website is www.flylady.net it really changed a lot in my life. For me a clean house and a clean mind go hand in hand.
   
2. 9 am have neighbor take me to the bank then to YMCA for a work out. I have decided I want to get back into shape because ever since my back was hurt last year I haven’t done much in the way of health. Today is a new day. It is a good day to begin. I have been doing Yoga but I want to add in this. I will at least give it a try. My back is still injured so I will be careful but this is something I want to do. I plan on walking back from YMCA, it takes me an hour to walk there or back so that is some good exercise as well. Walking mindfully is very calming to me. I keep my thoughts at bay and just focus on the way I feel walking. It is kind of like meditation to me only with my eyes open J.
   
3. I should be home by 1 pm if not sooner. I will have something for lunch. I was thinking rice with peaches or apricots. Its warm and “sweet” J. Its cold out today!
   
4. Next, I will be back at the homework. My goal is to get one assignment done for Consumer Behavior and one assignment for Cultural Diversity and 4 posts 2 each for each class.
   
5. After that my son and I will make dinner together and I need to spend some time with the boys. I am not sure what we will do yet but the goal is to have some quality time. I think we will start with meditation (we do it together) then I will let them decide.
   

This will be a busy day! Wish me luck!

I want to give my friend Rita credit for this Universe List.  What is a Universe List?  It is a list that you make of all your wants and needs. “Write it down, make it happen”…The is the name of a book you must read! You keep adding to your list and crossing off those things that come to pass.  You read them at least once each day.  Your wants and desires and needs can’t be given to you unless you let the supreme being know what you desire.  This is just one way of accomplishing that.  There are other ways to accomplish this like using prayer, but for today, we will talk about the Universe List.

Have you ever wondered how all your wants and needs will be provided?  Well, this list is a leap of faith that you believe that if you put it out into the Universe, you will be provided with it.  Yes, it may seem a bit gimmicky, but it helps to focus your thoughts.  Have you ever heard the saying that you are what you think?  Well, if you focus and think on the things you want or need, you are more likely to make decisions or do things that will bring these things about.  I guess you could say it is the power of positive thinking.  Think it and it will happen.

The Universe list works on the same premise.  I tried it for the first time this week and already things are in motion.  We went to Florida to visit family.  They just happened to live near where the space shuttle was going to be launched.  However, they canceled the launch due to bad weather but we decided to go ahead with our plans and to visit these family members that we hadn’t seen in a long time.  Not only did we have a wonderful visit, but an entire new way of thinking was opened to us.

My husband has wanted to see a launch for a long time.  It didn’t seem to work out.  However, what we gained by deciding to go anyway, was so much more than the experience of a launch could accomplish.  We’ll go again next year before they cancel the program.  However, we met people who knew how to get hold of boats as salvage that we can purchase for pennies and fix up for a vacation home.  Before this trip, this possibility would never been part of our possibility thinking.  Suddenly an entirely new path has opened up our life in ways we could never have imagined.

Once I wrote a letter to President Clinton.  I explained that part of the problem with our youth was lack of vision.  Without vision there is no hope.  Without hope there is dispare.  Those youth who know nothing but the few square blocks they live on have no vision.  They can’t think possibilities because no one has provided them with viable options they can visualize and know that they can accomplish.  They lose their way.

What I suggested was to take them out of the cities and get them out under the stars.  Let them board a ship and sail the oceans as hands on classroom.  I suggested that they be provided experiences they would never have otherwise been able to experience.  Let them ride horses, plant a garden and enjoy the fruits of their labor.  Let them plant trees, ride the rapids, camp in the forest.  Let them do all the things they might never do otherwise.  This will provide vision.  They can’t miss what they have never had.  It is their positive wants and desires that suddenly become possible that will motivate them to build rather than tear down their neighborhoods.

This is what the Universe list can do.  It will open you up to possibility thinking.  Think it and you become it.

When are you going to make your Universe list?

last week i went to gym; as usual to do some exercise. ^^ but, b4 doing those stuff, i went thru some kinda check up; about my body n so on.

it’s actually a check up or test (?) about our body’s muscle, fat n weight using some kinda machine n after that we’ll be consulted by the trainer in the gym. it’s been a long time i didn’t go thru that test; i think the last time was b4 summer break. lol~

n guess what the result is?

result of the 'test'

やせすぎ(前回) --> 低体重(今回)

as the tittle ler…ngeh3

it’s a positive result; n achievement i can say. from やせすぎ(too slim) to 低体重(underweight). ngee~ i know it’s really not a big deal for some of u, but for me it’s sumthin that made me smile; for a while. hehehe…

though it seems good improvement, according to the result; my protein percentage dropped a little bit. =( at the same time, my fat percentage is quite ok. it’s a relief, then.

what has i worked out, then?

hmm…i just focus on muscle training (筋肉トレーニング) mostly beside doing other exercise; as advised by the gym’s trainer. i do also drink protein drink everyday. i think that small achievement is the fruits of my effort till now. =)

from that ‘check up’, i was advised by the trainer about certain things:

#focus on muscle training; as now (10 reps 3 times)

#drink the protein drink rite after training; so, i must bring the drink in bottle to the gym after this. huhu~

#eat much carbohydrate and protein

#dun eat after 10 p.m *wink* (-_-”)

i hope i can do much better to gain my weight up a little bit..to get the ideal weight. ^_^

Agora eu ando na linha, rsrs…

Esse tal de slack line é viciante, acho que faz mais ou menos 1 mês que eu ando todo final de semana. Graças a ele, agora eu tenho uma nova coleção de hematomas. ahahah

E como só a pratica leva a perfeição, estou praticando

Andando na linha

É acho que eu nunca fui muito equilibrada.

Dicas:

Como diria minha instrutora de yoga (vulgo: Minha mãe).

- Relaxe na posição.
- A posição é firme, mas não dura.
- E não esquece de respirar.

Kävin eilen illalla salilla ja sain opastusta parin laitteen käyttöön. Fillaroin noin 40 minuuttia ja tein laitteissa ja vapailla painoilla vielä noin 45 minuuttia. Ihan reipas ja hyvä harjoitus. Siinä liikkuessani tuli oikein hyvä mieli kun mietin millaista oli aikanaan aloittaa kuntosalilla käynti vuoden 2007 elokuussa jolloin olen ollut ainakin 15 kiloa painavampi. Sen jälkeenhän on tapahtunut hirveästi edistystä, josta olen iloinen ja ylpeä. Hyvä mieli kantoikin sitten sen verran, etten kotona alkanut maistella lapsen myyntiin ottamia karkkeja. Iltaruokailu pysyi hyvin kohtuullisena ja lisäksi ymmärsin juoda kaksi isoa mukia teetä. Teestä tuli ihanan lämmin olo vatsaan.

Nukuin yöni erinomaisesti ja heräsin aamulla klo 5.45. Kävin aamulla salilla soutamassa soutulaitteella noin 35 minuuttia. Tästäkin tuli hyvä mieli.

Päivän syömiset:
* keitetty kananmuna, 1 tl oliiviöljyä, pieni määrä pähkinäsekoitusta (mm. parapähkinää, hasselpähkinää ja manteleita), 2 mukia kahvia, kevytmaitoa, makeutusainetta
* kuppi kahvia, kevytmaitoa, 2 mandariinia
* lohta, munakokkelia, uunitomaattia, puolikas peruna, kiinankaalia, porkkanaraastetta, tomaattia, etikkapunajuurta, couscous-salaattia, salaatinkastiketta
* parasakaalisosekeittoa, Knäckis seesam-spelttikeksejä, sinistä Keijua, pippurituorejuustoa
* BINGE: lapsen myynnissä olevia toffeita, suklaapatukoita ja suklaakeksejä

Edit 16:15 Minulle tarjottiin rahakasta ja isoa sivutyökeikkaa. Työ pitäisi tehdä 31.3. mennessä, mutta siitä maksetaan jo 31.12. kun työn tilaajan on käytettävä pois rahaa jota ei enää ensi vuonna voi käyttää. Oikein mukavaa: nyt ei tarvitse enää miettiä kuka maksaa Hullujen päivien ostokset tai uudet ruokapöydän tuolit. Toisaalta vähän tyhmää että kun keikka maksetaan näin loppuvuodesta, joudun maksamaan siitä 40% veroa, alkuvuodesta vero olisi ollut vain 25%. No ei voi mitään.

Päivän liikunnat: aamulla soutua soutulaitteella 35 minuuttia