Finally the moment has almost arrived. The moment when I will be giving up my Bachelor’s degree willingly (for want of a better diplomatically, politically and technically correct word). It is time for me to tie the knot and take the leap of faith. And while I do that, I want each one of you to be by my side (the list also includes my wife-to-be) to lend me moral support and assure me that “Married-life” is not an oxymoron for a man.

The D-day is 9th December 2009 and the venue is NMSA at Vashi. Yes, I heard some of you gasping at the utterance of ‘Vashi’ and I would have done the same over a couple of years back when my local Geography was limited to the western suburbs. But thanks to Yuga, I have discovered inhabited land beyond the burbs with better roads and more malls than residential complexes. And it’s not that far either; so much that the Telecom companies don’t even charge you for roaming. It would take you roughly the same amount of time it takes to go from Andheri East to Andheri West after office. To make life a bit easier, here’s a map. You can use Google maps too.

The detailed address is on the invitation card below. The card of course; the very reason I brought you to this page. No, the intention wasn’t to increase page-views on my blog but to save you some inbox space and at the same time give me some more space to express myself better. Yes, I would have loved to hand over the card personally but unfortunately time is not an ally for now in the final stages of my bachelorhood. Also, given the amount of time I spend on the internet, my beloved medium of communication, it would have been criminal not to use the same to reach out to you. And of course, doing my 2 bits for the environment. So this is the official pass to bid me adieu as I set out on a new adventure. No, you don’t need to print this and present it at the entrance. You can use Facebook connect though.

My dear teammates have pinned a placard to my desk that reads – “Life, as we know it, ends in X days”. They make it a point to subtract 1 from X every day. I have never seen such dedication from them at the workplace ever. Pity, it had to come at my cost. But that is one argument I cannot counter, perhaps no man can. But they say, after every end, there’s a new beginning. So be there. Don’t miss The Beginning

A banda irlandesa Cranberries anunciou que vem ao Brasil pela primeira em janeiro de 2010. O grupo se apresenta no Rio de Janeiro em 28/01 no Citibank Hall, no dia 30/01 em São Paulo no Credicard Hall, dia 31/01 em Belo Horizonte no Chverolet Hall e termina a turnê em Porto Alegre no Pepsi On Stage no dia 03/02.

A banda liderada pela musa dos anos 90, Dolores O’Riordan, terminou em 2003, mas retornaram esse ano. O grupo fez muito sucesso na década passada, com hits como “Zombie”,”Dreams” e “Just My Imagination”.

Cansei de escutar a música “Zombie” na minha adolescência, mas a banda acabou  marcada pelo enorme sucesso do começo da sua carreira e nunca mais conseguiram fazer o mesmo sucesso.

A pré-venda dos ingressos começam no dia 18, somente para clientes do Citibank, não foi divulgado quando começam as vendas para o resto do público e muito menos os valores.

Definitivamente hay canciones que le suben a uno el animo y aun mas, si nos provoca cantarlas a todo pulmón. La noche de hoy, quiero compartirles mi top 8 de las canciones que mas me gustan de la banda britanica THE CRANBERRIES en realidad son muchas, porque como muchos saben, me encanta la musica y en especial esta banda, pero hoy he decidido resumirlas en 8… Realmente es muy duro porque casi todas las canciones son excelentesss y por lo general es top 5 o inclusive top 10 xDD pero el mio es 8 xDD…

Antes quiero empezar con un extra por asi decirlo, que obviamente no esta dentro del conteo porque esta cancion es un clasico total y seria muy injusto ponerla en alguna posicion xDD! y es Linger

Ahora sí, inicio con la posicion #8 The Time Is Ticking Out,

#7 Dreams,   -bueno lastimosamente ahora que visualizo el post, youtube no permite la insercion al web, deben verla de manera externa asi que solo ingresen al enlace que se les aparece.

#6 Stars

#5  Just My Imagination  – No se permite la insercion pero creo que mas de uno la conoce!

#4 Promises

Acercandonos al final…. #3 You And Me

- Para verla hagan clik en el enlace que les muestran..

#2 When You’re Gone

Y la mejor de todas… #1 Animal Instinct

Espero quee les haya gustado realmente este conteo xDD, pienso que definitivamente la musica de los cranberries es digna de una buena lista de reproduccion … y para serles sincera, cada cancion me lleva ya sea a un gran sentimiento de alegria, o un poco de nostalgia o inclusive a recordar a alguien… asi es la musica no? bueno creo que ya me despido, espero opiniones sobre el Top, y si quieren de otra banda solo me dicen para que seleccionemos unas buenas canciones. un gran abrazo a todos

salu2

]]> http://undiasinlluvia.wordpress.com/2009/11/03/just-my-imagination/ Tue, 03 Nov 2009 04:42:20 +0000 Alejandra Naranjo Betancourt http://undiasinlluvia.wordpress.com/2009/11/03/just-my-imagination/

Buenasssss

Aqui me encuentro en estas calidas horas de la noche, como siempre acompañada de una muy excelente buena musica lo que como siempre me pone demasiado alegre… una simple cancion que me llegue al corazón, lo es todo para mi Como esta que inicialmente les comparto y es “Just My Imagination” de la excelente banda britanica “The Cranberries” – una de mis favoritas xD! -

Si YouTube permitiera que vieran el video directo aqui en mi blog, seria mas divertido :p , pero bueno el caso del video, es que me encantan los efectos de color que tienen como tipo Andy Warhol no sé – el algunas partes del video, claro esta – mmmm… not my, not my, imagination(8) .

Ok, realmente tuve un fin de semana chevere, aunque contrario al nombre de mi blog – Un dia con Lluviaaa!! – me gusto mucho, porque ver llover  y escuchar musiquita es fascinante y extremadamente relajante, pero bueno el caso es que… todo comenzo el viernes, unos amigos estuvieron en la casa de Juan jugando pokerrrrr! y subi un ratico a saludarlos, pero casi todo el tiempo me quede hablando con mi amiga Brenda – si señora, si ve que no me olvido de usted! ¬¬ – tuve que regresar a mi casa pronto porque al otro dia tenia que asistir al diplomado, entonces fui a dormir tempranito.

El sabado despues de estar todo el dia en ya saben que! me fui a ver SAW VI en la nocheeeeeeee! y uff!!! muy bacana la pelicula, como siempre queda como en el CONTINUARÁ, pero uff valio la pena. Es de ese tipo de peliculas que son medio asquerosas y como miedosas, pero de lo buenas que son uno no quiere cerrar los ojos y se sigue martirizando viendo cochinadas!!!!!! xDD asi de regia es la pelicula, asi que se las recomiento totalmente xDD.

Bueno como era el dia de los brujitos, mucha gente disfrazada, vi cosas muy locas realmente, muy cheveres pero lastimosamente no asisti a ninguna fiesta -.-’, pero bueno vi muchas foticos de mis amigos disfrazados, por ejemplo Leoncio y un par de amigos se disfrazaron de la naranja mecanica – A Clockwork Orange – muy creativo realmente.. y otro par por ahi que tambien me parecieron muy chistosos… Claroooo que! definitivamente nada como los disfraces de mis amigos en la fiesta del EJ el domingo!
xDD, habian unos curas muy simpaticos, un superman muy chistoso, muchas conejitas y minnies, un ingeniero civil, policias, azafatas, convictos, hippies y rastas, abejitas, muñequitas, loquitos de los 80’s, el chavo, piraticas, princesitas de disney, jitanas, payacitos, niños con culebritas exoticas xDD, dos caperucitas rojas, una damita antigua, angelitos, paisas… espantapajaros, edward manos de tijera…. y hasta inclusive LICOROLOGOS y el tipo del TAPABOCAS!! xDD – si olvide a alguno me disculpan pero estoy haciendo mi mayor esfuerzo por recordar todo! – estuvo muy bacana la fiesta yo fui a saludarlos a todos junto con Brendita y Guacamole, mas conocido como Gokuuuuuu y pues  asi no mas hubiese estado una horita, fue muy chevere verlos a todos tan felices, los quiero a todos muchisimo!

Y bueno finalmente, hoy estuvo todo calmadito, estuve en mi casa charlando con mi mamá y jugando WOW en el pc un ratico  y yap!! bueno realmente no fue algo extraordinario, pero lo mas importante de todo fue que estuve muy contenta asi fuera sin hacer nada …

Eso es todo por hoy, los dejo con otra cancioncita que estoy realmente contenta hoy, espero que les guste tanto como a mi y es “Linger” de los “Cranberries” … un grann pero gran clasico …. England I Love Youuuuuu

“i don’t ever balk at being considered a Motown person, because Motown is the greatest musical event that ever happened in the history of music.” ~ smokey robinson

alton smith  & bill brickey held the first practice of the motown ensemble (a.k.a., soul ensemble) eight (yes, 8!) years last night, at the old town school of folk music, located at 4544 n. Lincoln ave., chicago, il.   this session, we’re going to be working on songs by artists including:

• marvin gaye;
• the contours;
• the supremes (with & without diana ross);
• the four tops;
• the temptations;
• the jackson 5;
• the undisputed truth; and
• stevie wonder.

last night, we worked on:

• “get ready” by the temptations;
• “inner city blues” (makes me wanna holler) by marvin gaye;
• “i want you back” by the jackson 5;
• “just my imagination” by the temptations.

(youtube.com videos of these songs are posted below.)

in addition to being led by alton and bill, the ensemble has some amazingly talented people in it, including (but not limited to):

• ed johnson on electric guitar (14 miles to empty);
• b. michael mann on acoustic guitar (14 miles to empty);
• mike vendiola on bass (previously with the wilco ensemble); and,
• yours truly (still with the women’s rock ensemble) on vocals.

does all this talk make you want to join us and sing some motown? if so, you can still join us.  here’s how:

1. register in person at either old town school location (4544 n. lincoln avenue or 909 w. armitage ave.) or by phone at (773) 728-6000.
2. be at the n. lincoln ave. location next thursday at 7:00 p.m, ready to rock the house.

copyright © 2009 fearless spirit media. all rights reserved.

Sudah hampir tengah malam. Seharusnya sayah sudah tidur, karena dari tarawih tadi sayah dah ngerasa ngantuk banget. Tapi ternyata tidak. Bahkan keasyikan membaca blog yang sayah temukan tadi siang, sayah terjaga sepenuh hati. Niatan untuk cepat tidur, kemudian terbangun tengah malam untuk tahajud malah tak terealisasikan. Apalagi, abis tahajud niatan sayah adalah membuat persiapan meeting esok -yang sudah digadang-gadang Pak Mice dari tadi pagi. Sama sekali tak ada yang terealisasi.

Hff … kerjaan kantor sedang seru. Sayah menikmati sekali job desk yang sekarang sayah jalani. Walaupun dari segi keamanan posisi, masih sama mengkuatirkannya dengan posisi sayah sebelumnya. Lebih cenderung karena bos besar yang super gila, yang dengan mudahnya mematikan divisi atau memecat karyawan, atau bahkan dengan mudahnya mematikan perusahaan. Kembali ke pekerjaan, hari ini semua tugas sudah sayah selesaikan. Setidaknya grand design-nya sudah kelar. Tinggal finishing yang insya alloh dari segi waktu masih cukup -secara semuanya baru akan dieksekusi di bulan September nanti. Nah, besok adalah meeting untuk membahas eksekusinya itu. Rencana sayah (lagi), sayah besok come-up with ideas. Gitu lho. Ha ha ha, apa daya, hanya imajinasi sayah saja.

*Single ini diambil dari album keempat band Irlandia, The Cranberries. Jagoan keempat dari album “Bury the Hatchet” (1999) ini ditulis sendiri oleh Dolores O’Riordon (plus nyusun lirik) dan Noel Hogan. Sayang prestasi track ini -bahkan keseluruhan album- tak begitu memuaskan. Bahkan di Amerika, sampai April 2007, nih album hanya kejual 377 ribu kopi. Padahal ‘Bury” adalah album yang dirilis setelah masa vakum The Cranberries sejak tahun 1996.

* Pemakaian judul ini agak maksa, hi hi. Karena posting tulisan ini buru-buru. Secara seharusnya sayah sudah tidur. Dan sekarang ga kepikiran judul lain yang nyambung. Keingetnya ya lagu ini. Sayah membeli album “Bury the Hatchet” karena lagu “Animal Instinct” jaman kelas 3 SMA dulu … nah pas denger track per track, akhirnya kuping sayah nemu enaknya “Just My Imagination”. Intro gitar yang bikin penasaran, ditambah genjrengan lanjutannya bikin nuansa riang. Sangat cocok untuk memulai hari.

* Rating sayah: 3 bintang (manggut-manggut)

I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve been telling more children’s stories at church in the past few months, or what – but it seems like my imagination has been in overdrive the past couple weeks.  Maybe it just eeded some dusting off – I don’t know.  But my dreams have been all kinds of extra-vivid lately.  A couple nights ago I dreamt that a friend and I were fighting the Decepticons alongside the military.  And we won.  Sans Autobots.  Then we went back to our bunker and listened to the radio. (no, I haven’t seen the new Transformers movie yet.)

I’m not saying that my dreams are making *sense* – just that they seem more vivid.

And then – you know how sometimes you’ll be talking with a friend or coworker, and you’ll riff off of what each other says – taking a joke to the next level – until the end becomes an inside joke only you guys understand?  Sometimes those require the visualization of someone or something in a humorous light.  That’s happening a good bit, too.

I’m singing more often, as well – so all my creativity is flowing, I guess.

Now, as I think about things, it’s certainly likely that the project-from-hell was sucking the life out of me, and I could no longer use my creativity due to the death of part of my soul during that awful time.  Perhaps this is a rebirth of sorts.

I have no idea.  All I know is that I’m ready for another great dream.  They’re fun.

Life’s been a pendulum swinging from one extreme to the other in the last couple weeks.  Last week I had a great time playing volleyball with friends – which I haven’t done in years.  Then I played Clue late into the night with some new friends [apparently that game has changed.  a lot.].  Then, yesterday, I had to go to the dentist to get a filling replaced/fixed and it took 5 shots to numb me up enough to where I could live with the dental work.  The first four really had very little effect, and they actually wore off in less than 5 minutes…

Well..until the work was over, and the dentist finally sat me back upright.  All the anesthetic came rushing up to my jaw. [and I can just picture each injection jostling for position: "Shot # 4 reporting for duty!  -No, no, I was here first!  Shot #1 ready for action! -Hey wait!  Shot #3 here when you need us!  -Aww, man, way to be there, guys, Shot #2 bringing up the rear.  -Heh, don't worry fellas, Shot #5 has it all taken care of." (scuffle) "I was here first!" "Outta my way" "Stop shoving, you'll get your turn!"  (chaos ensues)]  …

Pardon me.  I’m not quite sure why, but I’ve been particularly imaginative lately.

Anyway, the right side of my mouth was numb from about 9:45am until about 4pm yesterday.  I didn’t have breakfast, and I tried to eat something around 10, but even with just a tiny bite, I could barely swallow anything.  I was actually afraid I’d choke while driving.  By lunchtime, I could swallow, but I still couldn’t feel anything on the right side of my mouth.  It’s really strange to take a drink of water, and not feel part of your tongue being wet.  Much worse to try to eat a delicious peach, and discover you can only taste with half of your tongue.  Eating is not nearly so enjoyable if half of your tongue isn’t even into it.

But all’s well that ends well on that front.  I’m back to tasting with my whole tongue and things are delicious again.

Last night then, I decided to go see Harry Potter.  Kind of a last minute thing, but I saw all the previews anyway.  [I'm quite on the fence about Sherlock Holmes.]  I enjoyed the movie.  It wasn’t super-fantastic, but it was good.  More humorous than usual, I thought.  And I was generally impressed with Rupert Grint’s comedic presence.  Two thumbs up, fine holiday fun.

Then I had a dream last night that has stayed with me all day.  Probably influenced by Harry is a few ways, actually.  My dreams are almost always action-adventure — I’m always being chased/searching for something/trying to escape or something like that.

And so I’m being chased and someone is with me…not sure who…but they’re depending on me to lead.  We’re looking for something and trying to stay under-the-radar as we do.  And so, I find this reddish-brown speckled powder.  It’s some kind of spice blend (!)  that’s tasty but extremely hot, and apparently explosive (!).  [cue Twilight Zone music]

I find this stuff and then stumble on a brutally hot guy that I must know pretty well because we start making out and licking the spice blend off of each other’s fingers. [I think part of it may have actually exploded.]  We were in a safe place, and it was a hot scene.  And then I woke up.

No thanks to my alarm clock.

What I hate is that I can’t remember his face at all.

Anyway – today didn’t suck, but tonight I had to spend two frickin hours at a church board mtg, and then ended up getting a speeding ticket on the way home.  First one in the Mustang.  Craptacular.

Now I’m going to bed.  HotSweet dreams!

Just my imagination é uma música tão triste e bonitinha do The Temptations (para quem não sabe My Girl é desse grupo). Até há algum tempo eu só achava fofinha, hoje em dia ela me traz recordações de um dia que poderia ser só da minha imaginação.

Lembra uma noite chuvosa, meu Carmen Steffens de cetim, luz nos jardins e um táxi. Tinha acabado de tomar conhecimento do que até então desconfiava, mas para variar não queria acreditar. Depois do mal estar entrei em um táxi para casa, o meu Carmen Steffens merecia mais consideração, não o enfiaria mais um minuto na chuva. O mau tempo, as luzes e a noite tinham a sua beleza. Realmente era tudo muito bonito!

Tocava músicas antigas dentro do táxi em uma rádio qualquer. O táxista tentava conversar comigo, mas eu não queria conversar, não podia. Se tivesse que expressar seria só em lágrimas e eu não faria isso com um estranho. E mais jardins iluminados além da janela do carro. Eu pensava tão longe. Em um certo momento eu volto para onde estava, não sei se foi a melodia da música, mas tocava Just my imagination. Talvez algumas lágrimas ou água tenham escorrido no meu rosto. Escondi os olhos para que o táxista não reparasse.

Quando cheguei em casa, no alto do 9º andar eu não via mais jardins iluminados, só a chuva e sozinha podia chorar sem me esconder. Podia ser tudo só minha imaginação me levando longe, mas não foi. Para quem não sabe, a música é sobre um homem que sonha com uma garota, mas ela não o nota, ele sabe e por isso diz “But it was just my imagination running away with me”.

Yo!! another week is over!! so here I am again, sharing my top 5 songs for this week

Top 5 Songs 07.05.2009

1. Change – Daniel Merriweather

- Love this song right now!! Everyday ko syang nirerequest sa RX! Nadiscover ko sya kay Sashapurse when she requested it.  And ayun, I’m so addicted with this song!

2. Just My Imagination – Craig David

3. Permanent – David Cook

4. I Got A Feeling – Black Eyed Peas

- bounce!! love this song too!!

5. Obsessed – Mariah Carey

- fine fine fine.. mukhang obsessed na rin ako dito.. imagine, this is my LSS while I’m testing my codes!!!

~~~

Change is a song by the Australian singer/songwriter Daniel MerriweatherWale. It was written by Merriweather and Andrew WyattJanuary 30, 2009 in the United States and Canada, and February 2, 2009 in the UK (where the song peaked at no.8). featuring the rapper and produced by Mark Ronson. It was released on

The song will be included on Merriweather’s forthcoming album Love and War. – wikipedia.org

so there ya go! and now, here’s Change by Daniel Merriweather!

Change

Daniel Merriweather

i saw a dried up withered old rich man turning on a garden hose,
i see a young man picking up a gun i guess that’s where the money goes (yeah),
am i just as good as a bad man sleeping when the rest are dying
or am i jus as bad as a good man saying there’s no use of trying

[refrain]

Oooo tell me do you still believe
Oooo everything that you read
will we learn to get together and see who we really are

[chorus]

ain’t nothing gonna change
ain’t nothing gonna change if nobody’s gonna wake up and start acting whose incharge

ain’t nothing gonna change
ain’t nothing gonna change
ain’t nothing gonna change

nanananana (yeah)

(rap)
ain’t shit changing but life is all babies get higher in the background singing singing (naanaanaanaa) singing (nananana)
ok singing

some people do it all for money & some do it all for their love
some do it all for the glory cuz nothing else their thinking of
i saw a man in a four door truck complaining that the price was high
like a well faired man with a smoothie in his hand saying who ate all the apple pie (yeah)

[refrain]

[chorus]

(rap)
its funny your ready to listen im never gonna listen most people follow intuition while they wishing it would work
and my vision isn’t perfect so i will never learn for it
don’t wish for some change like a church worker
hallelujah preacher i am not influenced if i don’t go into your movement am i not improving
and while a poor for a poor for a peace of American society i get high the munchies i got so down with this i got the girl looking at you cuz i’m worth kissing (mwah) n i ain’t ready to wait when theirs dollars on the rain what do you expect change

will we learn to get together and see who we really are

[chorus]

(rap)
ain’t shit changing but life is all babies get higher in the background singing singing (naanaanaanaa) singing (nananana)

Ok.. weekend ulit, and as usual, it’s Jamming time!!

My Top 5 Songs 06.28.2009:

1.  Just My Imagination – Craig David

2.  Permanent – David Cook

3.  25 to Life – Jojo

4.  Before the Worst – The Script

5.  After Tonight – Justin Nozuka

~~~~~~~

I’m SUPER happy that David Cook went straight to the top of Countdown Top 7!  whoootwoot. I really love the last part of the song haaay

And until now, addicted pa rin ako sa kanta ni Justin Nozuka.. really hoping it will be played here in the philippines ü

And now, I’m featuring my favorite song right now.. super love this new Craig David song.. very cool yung feeling when I’m listening to it.. <3 <3 this song

Just My Imagination

Craig David

Imagine, Imagine
Hey hey, oh

You put your hand on my hand
And you lead me to dance on the floor
It was like we were both in a trace, like it felt
Something more than you could disguise
But behind your smile
There was fear in your eyes

Did someone hurt you?
Did they break you heart?
Are the wombs still fresh?
Do you heal the scars?
Cause I just turn around
And you disappeared, oh
Were you even here?

Chorus

Or was it my imagination?
So real I can’t believe this wasn’t true
Or was it my imagination?
It put me in a time or place with you

Tell me girl what you are you running from
(Running from, Running from)
I can’t help wondering where you’ve gone
{Where you’ve gone, Where you’ve gone)
I think it maybe I got it wrong
(Got it wrong, Got it wrong)
God damn i should have known that
You were just a fantasy
Was it my imagination?

Though I tried my best
I still couldn’t forget
So I drive every night
Past the spot where we met
And I hope one day
That I’ll see your face
But you’re never here

[Chorus]

Imagine, you and me together
And a love that will last forever
Imagine, that it’s late December
Been a year but i still remember
Imagine, Meeting you meant to much to me
Imagine, Oh no

[Chorus]

Hari itu – gw lupa tepatnya hari apa -, seperti biasa gw mengendarai sepeda motor gw. Seperti biasa pula gw melewati jalanan margonda-akses UI-Pancasila-Lenteng Agung-Tanjung Barat-TB Simatupang dan akhirnya sampailah gw di kantor. Dan seperti biasa pula ketika jalanan tidak terlalu padat, pikiranku akan terus menyeruak untuk memaksaku membayangkan hal-hal yang terkadang bodoh. Tapi hari itu, bayangan yang gw bentuk telah berhasil mendorong keluar air mata.

—–

Gw ingat senyum itu. Senyum seorang bidadari yang yang keluar dari rahimku. Yang selama 9 bulan, kunyanyikan lagu sayang. Yang selama aku memeriksakannya, dokter selalu mengatakan, “janin ibu sehat sekali, pasti dia akan sangat cantik”. Dialah buah hatiku yang selama ini aku tunggu2 untuk mengisi kekosonganku sebagai seorang perempuan.

Semua yang pertama dari dia begitu istimewa.  Senyum pertama seorang malaikat yang mampu memikat hati semua orang yang melihat. Ketika tangis pertamanya berderu, itu bagaikan alunan musik yang jauh lebih indah dibanding musik orkestra apapun. Tangan kecil nan halus yang mampu meruntuhkan kekerasan hati. Aku sangat mencintainya.

Senyum, tangis, tawa, kecupan, belaiannya, dan segala sesuatu yang ada di dirinya akan tetap menjadi kesayanganku. Sampai sekarang, aku kan selalu menyayangi. Dia adalah matahariku… Dia adalah kehidupanku… Dia adalah napasku. Bagaimana mungkin aku bisa bertahan tanpa dia. Walau akhirnya, dokter menyebut dia sebagai anak autis, aku tetap menyayanginya. Karena dia begitu istimewa di hatiku. Ya…gadis itu sangat istimewa dan dia akan tetap istimewa di hatiku walau beribu mata yang tidak mampu “memandang” keistimewaannya.

Bagaimana bisa aku tak menyayanginya, kalau ketika aku menangis, dialah yang mencoba mengusap air mataku. Bagaimana bisa aku tak menyayanginya, kalau ketika dia tertawa, dia selalu membagi tawanya denganku. Bagaimana bisa aku tak menyayanginya, kalau ketika dia menangis entah dengan alasan apa, dia langsung berlari menghindar dariku seakan dia tak mau berbagi beban denganku. Bagaimana bisa aku tak menyayanginya, kalau setiap pelukan yang melingkar di leherku adalah pelukan kasih yang tak akan bisa digantikan oleh apapun. Sejuta tawa, setiap kisah, ciuman sayang, perhatian, semua aku terima dari gadis kecilku yang istimewa.

Hari itu, ketika dia berdiri di atas panggung untuk menjadi pembicara sebagai penulis buku tentang anak-anak autis, bidadariku itu kembali membuatku bangga. Dia, dengan cap autis di mata orang umum, telah berhasil membuat buku yang akan menuntun setiap orang untuk bisa lebih memahami orang-orang seperti dia. Dalam event itu pula, dia kembali membawaku menjadi bagian dari kisahnya. Ketika dengan bangganya dia mengatakan bahwa akulah yang telah menginspirasinya untuk menulis buku itu dan ia menghampiriku dan kembali untuk kesejuta kalinya ia mengecup tangan dan pipiku. Walau matanya dianggap tidak bisa fokus padaku, tapi aku tahu kalau saat itu dia menatapku. Berhasil  menatapku dan mengalirkan tatapan itu hingga hatiku yang paling dalam. Walau tanpa mengeluarkan sepatah katapun, aku tahu mata, kecupan, dan pelukannya mengirimkan pesan padaku bahwa aku adalah ibu istimewa dari seorang anak yang istimewa.

—–

Come stop your cryin’
and we’ll be alright
Just take my hand, hold it tight.
I will protect from all around you,
I will be here dont you cry.
For one so small, you seem so strong.
My arms will hold you keep you safe and warm,
This bond between us cant be broken,
I will be here dont you cry

‘Cos you’ll be in my heart,
yes you’ll be in my heart,
From this day on now and forever more.

You’ll be in my heart,
No matter what they say,
You’ll be here in my heart,
Always.

Why can’t they understand the way we feel,
They just don’t trust what they cant explain.
How know your different
Deep inside us, where not that different at all.

And you’ll be in my heart,
yes you’ll be in my heart,
From this day on now and forever more.

Don’t listen to them, ‘cos what do they know.(what do they know)
We need each other, to have to hold.
They’ll see in time, I know.

When destiny calls you, you must be strong
(you godda be strong)
I may not be with you, but you got to hold on.
They’ll see in time, I know.

That your there together ‘cos

You’ll be in my heart,
Believe me,
You’ll be in my heart.
I’ll be there from this day on,
now and forever more.
Ooh you’ll be in my heart
(you’ll be here in my heart)
No matter what they say
(I’ll be with you)
You’ll be here in my heart
(I’ll be there)
Always

Always
I’ll be with you,
I’ll be there for you always
Always and always.
Just look over your shoulder x3
I’ll be there always.

—–

Saat dengan lirih kusenandungkan lagu itu di atas motorku, ku tak mampu lagi membendung air mataku…

I was only a shadow of myself earlier this evening and it was obvious, discernable……palpable – at least I thought so – but I wasn’t myself so my perceptions were my own. My already sore lower back had tightened up on the ride down and it was really ache-y / crunchy and not soothed at all by crouching.

The day before, I thought I’d just go down and watch my old team play but upon parking my bike felt queasy, like I was going to throw up: a not uncommon feeling when one’s back is upset. Things got compunded when I approached their court and my mouth went completely dry. Was I nervous? I hadn’t felt that earlier at all. Maybe I was. It was so unexpected!

‘Said hello to the one I’d really gone to see, complimented her on her team doing so well and she smiled that smile. She was as pretty as ever.

I’d planned to be livelier, even had a few chants somewhat planned but I felt terrible, then terribly awkward due to excessive thinking so I strode off to play for my old-old team. I had no life and was adding nothing.

When it was all over, I was putting on my shoes, a former teammate Sandy (who I quite liked – she was a nice person) passed by and we exchanged expressionless glances. I wasn’t in the mood to talk, being in the midst of asking myself why I’d ignored my little voice which had instructed me to stay home. Well, I knew why of course.

I wonder if people form permanent impressions of others; in this case, me. But, alas, I am overthinking again.

And a one, anna’ two, anna’ three
Earlier in the day, my chiropractor bench pressed my torso three times, stopping at the last minute before the last one to get a better grip. Then, it was body slam time. After, I lay there while a nucleus of hot nerve endings worked up a burn which then fanned out. In general, I’d been neglecting my back and trunk muscles and they’d rebelled as only they can. Me thinks my Hatha yoga tapes and I are about to renew our relationship.

The big problem
is that I was pissed off at my chronic underachievement or inability to finish off important stuff, even if there are good reasons things are the way they are and good things are going on. What had I to talk to people about? I’ve crafted a life of no life, like Fugazi’s “A Steady Diet of Nothing” and there was an underlying tension and self-criticism to my person that I didn’t have this last summer. I always imagine that other people’s lives are way more exciting than mine but maybe that ain’t so. Still, I’ve made huge strides, albeit quiet, personal ones.

Big lessons
In retrospect, I shouldn’t have ceased creative writing, visiting art galleries, pursuing artistic stuff or skipping opportunities to dance or see live music. All constitute watering the plants of my life; aka ….balance. I’ve also become aware this last little while of an extreme case of urban cabin fever. I badly need to get out of the city, the country, the continent. Just go somewhere and see different stuff, to re-set my timing belt, lubricate my chassis, and so on. In due time – after I complete some pesky things. Delayed gratification.

I do have some major projects coming up which involve mucho responsibility so I need to focus on those and blend in some fun, somehow. I set aside tomorrow, Saturday, as the day I would just get the website re-written (again) integrating the info from last Friday’s course. I really need closure on that thing and have all sorts of ideas for it. Taxes: mid-month.

As far as everything else is concerned, I’ll just let the Moon guide me …..