…di solito è perchè ti stai autosabotando.

Oggi mi sentivo cattiva e vittima di tutti i soprusi del mondo.
Che palle gli ormoni, eh?
Poi sbatti la testa al muro (ogni riferimento non è puramente casuale).
Adesso mi sento e basta.

Dear Ms. Blogenstein:

Its me Guardcat. witty is resting. She’s been all crazy the last couple of weeks (yeah, I know, when isn’t she) with several art shows, three days of cyber knife radiation, funerals, Eye-talian guys acting up, computers dying, stalker girl suddenly re-appearing, a new sudden speaking “career”  about how art is healing at various locations….Lookie….

She made me put that photo in since she looks skinny and she says she’s channeling Meryl Streep while she’s drunk leaning sideways after winning a Tony award or something, but you know witty, we never know what the hell she’s talking about especially lately since she’s been running from art show to art show, putting up her group’s show last week in a dark, dank cement gallery at the local university,  a kind of pseudo Soho kind of place with glaring florescent lighting that according to Tall Skinny Guy made it impossible for witty to take any good photos because she was too short and the light was glaring on all her artwork. I’m only a cat, but I think he was just jabbing her because he’s so jealous of her and Charlemagne, so she “accidentally” repaid the favor by putting the wrong name tag on his artwork. It really was an accident. A subconscious one.

High five, sistah!

This was one of witty’s many death oriented art things she’s been doing lately.

Anyways, the next night was her show at the more upper class snooty art gallery. She had invited “A” since it was sort of a big thing to have a painting there. As in there. (said with your pinkie up). Poor witty. She is still controlled by that guy. That night the show was to start at 5 p.m. She was still sitting around playing Facebook at 4:15 in her jammies,  and who calls on her cell phone? “A”. He wants her to meet him there at 4:45….15 minutes before the show even opens and 30 minutes from her house. Gah! So naturally she wigs out and starts throwing things in the air and brushing her hair and getting all girlie. She even wore a short black skirt with black ribbed stocking that made her legs look totally hot. “A” didn’t notice of course. And he was late.

men are so stupid. I’m so glad I’m a cat and don’t have to deal with them.

Anyways, the rest of the night, witty mainly just stood around near her painting, pretending to look at her new cell phone as if she was waiting for text messages from Johnny Depp.  She’s not sure if anyone was looking at her hot legs art work. She did circle the gallery about 50 times and ate some cheese, going, “Woo! This is fun!” Did she mention she was exhausted? Must be the cancer thing. She won’t tell anyone though…or very few people, because she doesn’t want any sympathy. But the exhaustion was pretty obvious when she got home that night.

That weekend she went back to the hoity toity gallery and spoke about how healing art is for the soul and her depression. Her aunt was weeping afterwards. It was a little embarrassing but totally affecting to her psyche, since she’s not really used to people crying about what she says.

Even though I’m a cat I did know when it was Monday two days later and that it was the beginning of radiation for witty…a thing called cyber knife. She seemed really nervous that morning. Like REALLY nervous. Like telling me to shut up nervous.

What? But I’m so fucking cute!

She left around noon. (I know how to tell time too, dammit! I must be smart if I’m writing a blog, right?) I guess she tried to call “A” repeatedly but her phone number was blocked on his private cell phone. Bummer! He had even said he’d talk to her right before the radiation too. Cell phones are stupid.

Anyways, she got zipped into this skin-tight Mary Quant-like (thanks Scott) mini skirt contraption for the radiation treatment and asked if she thought she’d be able to lay still on this long skinny table for two hours or whether she’d needed to be strapped in. witty? strapped in?

Yeah…baby.

But she eventually decided against it, you know in case there was a nuclear event or she needed to pee.  The first day she didn’t realize she had a choice of music, listening to classical music for two hours, but day two it was the Beatles while this large massive machine whooshed and pivoted over the top of her, making weird high-pitched screeches, intermingled with deep Darth Vadar like breathing…sighing…swooning….orgasmic at time. Just witty and him. Darth and Cyberknife Girl.

Who’s Cyber Knife Girl?

I think witty might have gotten a little much radiation, because by the third day she thought she was a Super Hero.  And indeed she did get a lot of it. When she was finally done on Day Three she came out of her little radiation dungeon and her Michael J. Fox doctor came running up to her smiling broadly (of course, she HAD just been asked to disrobe to total frontal nudeness in the radiation room where there were ceiling cameras rolling but I digress) and grabbed her hand and shook it vigorously saying “Congratulations!”. She asked for what, since she was about as lit as a Hanukkah candle by Day  Eight. He then told witty she  had just had 6 weeks worth of radiation in three days and she went “ Whee! WTF??? Am I going to pee neon?” Ok, she only thought  that in her head.

She also knew she didn’t want to miss her drawing class that night, you know, since she would get to see her favorite Frenchman Charlemagne. The doctor said it would be ok, since the tiredness wouldn’t really hit til the weekend.

oh witty, you so silly.

Charlemagne was merely 25 minutes late that night, you know, the night witty had TOLD him she had just been radiated into a hot mess by that dude Darth Vadar, so she was not happy when he was so late. It’s a good thing she thinks Charlemagne is cute and gives good hug, otherwise she might have hit him in the head with something that looked like 12 easals strapped together.

In the meantime, witty is now just waiting for the beginning of chemo, which will start around December 7th. She’s really scared about that, especially in the depth of winter and her time of depression. But she’s gotten pretty good at turning negatives into positives lately. Maybe she’ll just convert herself from Cyberknife Girl into  singer Sinead O’Connor and go sing on some hillside with a herd of goats.

Just as long as she doesn’t forget to come home and feed me a bowl of Friskies every so often.  Priorities, you know.

You know what happened when a human is being buried. There is no going back. There is no catching up. All there is to it is an awakening. And no one knows when either.

But when things are being buried, there is going back, there is catching up and there is also digging out. Unless it is buried deep, deep down together with all things related to it. Unless you guard it with all your life. Unless you died along with it.

There are people who thinks burying things is easy like a one way road with a no u-turn allowed sign. Some failed to realise when you bury things, you are merely putting it aside. In other words, it still lives. Whether or not it will live to tell the tale is entirely up to the path one chose.  And also what bitchy karma has planned for us. With karma, it’s always a waiting game which keep us on our toes. You never know what kind of things karma resurrects or is capable of resurrecting.

I reckon burying is both good and bad, both risky and sacrificial, both of bravery and cowardice. We cannot escape burying simply because  there’s just one too many skeletons in the closet. We are cowards for not facing it but we are brave in overcoming it. We aren’t prepared to battle it but we still face sleepless nights over it.

This is what happen when you depend on no one but the land you bury things in. They appear more reliable… until a landslide of course. Especially since it is absolutely rare for whatever one buries to become a treasure.

XOXO

Prisma

Si usted está abierto a la idea de que la vida puede tener un aspecto no material, es posible que razone que los pensamientos son creados por algo que está más allá del cerebro. Los pensamientos son como la luz blanca que el prisma del cerebro divide en varios colores.

Energia Mental

Si el cerebro no esta creando energía del pensamiento, entonces, ¿dónde se crean los pensamientos? ¿Podría la energia del pensamiento provenir de un nivel más fundamental de la realidad, un nivel de energía pura? ¿Podría venir de una entidad no material que podríamos llamar el alma?

En la actualidad, no pueden demostrar científicamente la existencia del alma. Sin embargo, no tenemos ninguna manera de refutar la existencia del alma. Por consiguiente, la existencia o no existencia del alma sigue siendo una cuestión de creencia. Para encontrar su respuesta personal, ¿por qué no aplicar el enfoque interno a los conocimientos?

¿Le parece bien que todos los procesos mentales y emocionales son creados por reacciones químicas en la materia gris que suele estar depositada entre las orejas? O ¿le parece lógico que sus pensamientos y sentimientos se originan en un nivel de realidad que es más profundo o más fundamental que la materia en el cerebro? ¿Podría ser que sus pensamientos y sentimientos se originan en el nivel de energía pura y que son producidos por el alma? ¿Podría ser que el alma no es un producto del cuerpo, sino que simplemente reside en el cuerpo por una temporada? En otras palabras, el alma puede ser la causa y el cuerpo, el efecto.

La teoría de Einstein de la relatividad ha demostrado que no son una materia siendo sino una energía siendo. Si usted quiere entender su verdadera identidad, usted debe mirar más allá de la esfera de la materia, o el universo material. Tal vez su cuerpo es un vehículo mediante el cual el alma interactúa con el mundo material. Si es así, se deduce que si usted quiere controlar su circunstancia interna, primero debe tomar posesión de su alma. Tal vez la clave para descubrir su verdadera identidad podría estar oculta entre las prendas de la energía de su alma. En los discursos siguientes, tomaremos un viaje en el mundo del alma.

- Stratul 2 ADN -

http://www.kryon.com/k_channel09_Riga.html

Invataturi despre ADN … lectii quantice pentru voi si trecutul vostru

Nivelul numarul doi al ADN-ului a fost descris ca fiind lectia de viata a Fiintei Umane. Cand compartimentati ADN-ul in energii, apoi le (trans)puneti in 3D pentru a fi invatate, acesta devine mai usor de inteles. Este important sa intelegeti ce este o lectie de viata si de ce este ea in ADN-ul vostru. Veniti cu ea pe aceasta Planeta, este ceva ce a fost construit pentru voi datorita Inregistrarilor Akashice. De aceea se spune, lectia de viata este legata de vietile voastre trecute.

Prin urmare, ea se refera la vietile voastre trecute, la inregistrarile Akashice ale ADN-ului vostru si este legata de nivelele sapte si opt [nivelele Lemuriene ale ADN-ului vostru]. Deja interactionam, nu-i asa? Niciun nivel nu lucreaza singur, dar haideti sa ne intoarcem la nivelul numarul doi.

Unii dintre voi spun: “Lectie de viata? Pare a fi karma”. Nu, nu este. Aceasta nu are de-a face cu karma. In schimb, este o energie plasata asupra voastra, pe care unii au denumit-o scop. Ce este acel ceva care va ghideaza? Unii dintre voi vin si celulele transmit un mesaj care spune: “Nu mai vreau sa fiu singur.” Ce credeti, care este lectia voastra de viata? Sa fiti singur! Nu pare corect, nu-i asa? Dar asta este energia lectiei de viata.

Orice au adunat vietile voastre trecute, asemenea unui puzzle care reprezinta lucruri pe care nu le-ati realizat inca, devine lectia voastra de viata.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Nivelul care este intotdeauna implicat in tot, este numarul sase. Cunoasteti numerologia despre sase? Noi va spunem ca: numarul sase reprezinta  energia Sinelui Superior. [Pauza] Daca nu ati auzit despre acesta inainte, trebuie sa auziti acum: Unde este Sinele Superior? Ei bine, acum, daca ne luam dupa aceste cuvinte, el trebuie sa fie pe un nivel superior, nu-i asa? Dar nu este. Singura parte care este superioara, este modul in care ii percepeti vibratia. Este intr-un asemenea loc, incat doriti sa-l preaslaviti. Ati observat cat de multi dintre voi intrati in biserici sau temple, ca sa va conectati cu voi insiva? Deci, ingenunchiati, auziti muzica si va rugati la voi insiva!

Eu nu blasfemiez. Va ofer informatii de baza, cu privire la modul cum lucreaza Fiinta Umana si perceptia voastra despre Dumnezeu. Sinele Superior, acel Mare Inger, cel de aur, acea parte care este conectata de partea cealalta a voalului, care este miezul sufletului vostru, intotdeauna pentru voi seamana cu Dumnezeul vostru. Totusi, el este o parte din voi … si se afla in ADN-ul vostru! Voi ati dori sa fiti conectati cu el tot timpul, nu-i asa? Ei bine, pana cand aceasta noua energie s-a extins, era necesar sa lucrati pentru el, pentru ca nu se afla in raza constiintei Umane. Acum, el este!

Ce ziceti de o conexiune 100% cu Sinele Superior? Ei bine, Kryon, daca acum as avea aceasta conexiune, as fi asemenea unui maestru? Exact! Si ce te impiedica sa crezi ca un astfel de lucru este posibil, draga fiinta umana? Este prea maret pentru tine? Nu, nu e prea maret! Este sentimentul de scop al vietii, faptul ca exista un motiv sacru pentru care sunteti aici. Da, provocarile vin si pleaca, dar asa e viata. Iubirea lui Dumnezeu este mereu in inima voastra, mereu in conexiune. Energia schimbarii incepe sa transforme capacitatea voastra in realizarea acestui lucru si acum devine din ce in ce mai usor sa atingeti aceasta stare de maestru.

Nivelul numarul sase trebuie implicat in absolut fiecare instrument pe care o sa vi-l descriu. Deci, intelectualii care doresc sa aseze lucruri in 3D, vor numara nivelele din motive numerologice si vor spune: Ei bine, daca este implicat tot timpul, atunci il luati in considerare sau nu? Va spun ca nu conteaza prea mult, pentru ca el continua sa se schimbe, odata cu fiecare nivel cu care lucreaza. De ce sa incercati sa prindeti aceasta energie evaziva, pe care nu te poti baza si este cuantica? Chiar trebuie sa intelegeti totul despre ea, ca s-o utilizati? Deci, nivelul doi este lectia de viata, iar nivelul sase este Sinele Superior. Ambele sunt implicate in acest set de instrumente. Acum ajungem la acele doua nivele care sunt foarte importante si pe care le-am mentionat mai devreme.

- va urma -

Some of the most important concepts to really understand in terms of human interaction are justice and mercy.  These are logical constructs that we instinctually understand, but very rarely are they broken down and dissected.  Justice is at it’s most simple based on the idea that if someone hurts you, you hurt them back.  Or, conversely, if someone helps you out then you help them back.  It’s a very simple construct based on a need for balance.  It works on an instinctual understanding of how people are conditioned.  We punish actions that hurt us and reward actions that help us.  This is the law of the jungle at it’s most basic.

The important thing to remember is that justice is blind.  Justice by itself does not really work to heal or even care about healing.  Justice can often turn into a viscious circle of retribution.  If I feel you have wronged me, and I lash out and hurt you then you feel the need to lash out in return.  It can easily run out of control.  It gets worse once vengeance enters the picture.  Vengeance says that if I escalate things, and hurt you bad enough, then you will have to give up and stop.  But, no amount of pain is guaranteed to make someone give up.  It’s a dangerous gamble.  Vengeance is not necessarily evil or wrong, but it is by its nature short sighted and will most often make things worse.

When you want things to improve you have to have mercy.  Mercy is based off of justice, and is a part of justice. But it is a higher, more rational, more refined view.  Mercy says if I let the fact that you have hurt me go, if I set that pain aside then we can end the cycle of retribution.  If I respond to your negative with compassion and understanding and forgiveness, then you have no reason to respond with more hatred and anger and violence.  Once the cycle of hate is broken, then perhaps we can build something good together and both benefit. 

But, mercy does assume a degree of rationality in the other party.  Not everyone will respond, some may be too far gone or too immature to ever see past their own pain.  And even if they will respond, it may take some time to get through.  It takes time for old wounds to heal, and not everyone is ready to forgive at the same time.  It takes time for love to heal old wounds, and it takes time for new positive traits and relationships to grow.  But, it’s best to assume the best and give people the benefit of the doubt.  You’ll never know what good can come of positive actions unless you try.  Hold on to hope, instead of focusing on doubt. 

Remember that compassion and forgiveness and love are for your benefit in the long run.  And remember to apply them to yourself, and not just to others.  Love is for everybody, and everybody needs love.  You can’t really spread love if you don’t feel love.  Fill your heart with love and let it fill you.  Let the love and light tranform your mind, and your actions will follow naturally.  Transform yourself and it will transform the world.

14 decembrie

Le auzeam vorbind pe doua proaste de la mine. Ma mandresc ca n-am pus niciodata piciorul in Karma. Ma mandresc mai ales cu toate lucrurile pe care nu le-am facut.

15 decembrie

Cinci zile n-o fi o gramada de timp, dar mie asa mi s-a parut. N-am scris, pentru ca nu aveam nimic de scris. “Jagged Alliance” – aproape terminat pe nivelul medium. Teze si scoala – finished. Andreea and I are getting closer and closer to it – acum inteleg ce zicea ala in Trainspotting cu ‘am coaiele cat pepenii’. Ba chiar m-a durut ca dracu’. Iulia is going crazy… much like until now. And there’s the temptation… Stiu prin ce trece Corbul si nu pot sa-l ajut.
Am pierdut-o pe Iulia numai si numai din cauza mea. Si stiu ca ar trebui sa fiu suparat si furios, dar nu sunt.
Gazzi – o hipioata superinalta de la R3 – a citit niste poezii de-ale mele, si i-au placut. A zis ca tat-su le-a citit si el si vrea sa ne intalnim, sa ma cunoasca. prevad faza: ora 12, luni, hai la mine sa vorbesti cu tata – 12:30, acasa la ea, oops, am uitat ca tata vine lunea la doua acasa, avem o ora jumate si ce sa facem?  si ghici ce zic?? LIKE I FUCKING CARE. Am Iulia pe creier acum, si nu chef de flete, moluste si alte prostii.

16 decembrie

Exact cum am prevazut: m-a carat acasa, tatsu venea intr-o ora, si s-a pus cu curul in fata mea sa faca omlete. Si (element neprevazut) mi s-a SCULAT!! total neprevazut pt ca ea vine in toale d-alea de hipioata, adica fuste lungi si largi cu flori, si de fapt nu mi s-a sculat s-o fut ci s-o iau de mijloc adica un pic mai complicat.
Bfff mi-a adus omleta si a trecut momentul rau am mai ras nu stiu ce dupa aia s-a pus pe canapea cu capul in poala mea si mi s-a sculat groaznic iarasi…Adica imi venea tare de tot sa o sarut. Ce zic eu? hai sa fiu sadic. Si-mi plimb un deget pe fata ei, pana am ajuns la buze. Daca ma musca, gandeam eu, o las. De fapt, vroiam s-o las moarta oricum. Si tipa ce face????
A: Incepe sa linga degetul.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Mi-a murit si am mai si ramas si vorbesc cu tatsu vreun sfert de ora. Era cam mirata fata nu stia ce se intamplase dar pierduse trenul.

ieri imi doream inexplicabil de mult sa vad o piesa de tearu cu Marius Manole (asa din senin mi s-a intamplat sa vreau chestia asta). Nu am avut cu cine sa merg la teatru, colegele mele stiu cat le-am batut la cap cu asa ceva. in fine. faza tare e ca AZI l-am vazut pe strada pe Marius Manole. acum 15 minute a trecut pe langa mine. nu mi-a venit sa cred. nu pot sa cred ca e o simpla coincidenta. viata e mai tare decat o piesa de teatru. si daca Marius Manole va citi vreodata chestia asta sa stie ca eu chiar il admir, asa cum i-am si spus azi pe strada.

I went to the grocery store today to pick up a couple of items and repeatedly heard an announcement over the PA system that the store was collecting donations of Thanksgiving turkeys for a local homeless shelter. It got me thinking about how really blessed I am to have a roof over my head, food on my table, loved ones to share the holidays with, my health, etc. I decided to step up to the customer service booth and donate a turkey to a family in need. It was quick, efforless – just one swipe of the ol’ credit card and I’d purchased a 12 pound bird for someone else’s dinner table.

As I left the store I felt a little lighter and happier and walked to my car with a little more bounce in my step. Then I started to think about Thanksgiving at our house and how we’ll be dining on Tofurky instead of actual turkey because we’re vegetarian animal lovers who don’t eat anything that ever had a mom. Ugh. Now I feel guilty about supporting an industry that’s cruel to animals. Turkeys shouldn’t have to die for us to celebrate Thanksgiving!

Left with the choice between feeling good about helping others and feeling guilty about our fine feathered friend…I guess I’m going to choose the former rather than the latter.

As “penance” I’m just going to use this blog momentarily to announce that Tofurky is totally awesome and a great alternative to eating turkey on Thanksgiving. It tastes great, cooks much faster, doesn’t have tryptophan to make you sleepy, and won’t cost you any karma points.

So, if just one person out there foregoes turkey this holiday after reading this, it can cancel out my poor donated turkey!

TODAY’S KARMA SCOREBOARD

First day off in 13 days – just chillin’ (+3)

Donated a turkey to the homeless (+5)

Purchased a dead turkey (-5)

Made a plea to the world to buy a meatless holiday roast instead of turkey this year (+1)

There is a great line in the REM song (which is also the title): ‘It’s the end of the World as we know it, and I feel fine‘. I used to find this line strange. How can you feel everything is fine if it’s the end of the world? Perhaps it’s because you’re bombed out on drugs, and so, have anesthetised yourself to the coming gloom, or perhaps you are nhilistic and couldn’t care less if it is the end of the world. Or perhaps you’ve figured something out which gives you joy even in the face of hopelessness. Regardless I have always loved this line and sing it with great gusto, as it somehow makes sense.

And it possibly is the end of the world as we know it. That is not to say the end of all life, but the world as we have come to know it. We show no signs of reducing our rapacious consumption of goods to which the bounty of the world must perpetually relent her sustenance. Even after 50 years of dire warnings about the future of our civilsation we show absolutely no intention of doing what needs to be done to ensure the survival of our civilsation. Instead we continue to buy bigger machines, buy bigger houses and constantly shop! And the rest of the world that do not have what we wealthy citizens have crave our lifestyle. This is reflected in the growing capitalist economies of China and India and the flow of economic migrants from poorer regions of the world to the wealthy regions of the world.

Meanwhile the world’s climate is becoming more chaotic (even if Australia is full of climate change deniers), the world is running out of potable water and we have a population forever growing and forever demanding more goods and services. We are in a word, stuffed! Having faith that all of humanity will wake up one morning and say, ‘my God we are destorying ourselves, we must change our ways immediately’ is a way to avoid the malaise that such knowledge inspires; though it is a fairly ignorant viewpoint. Go to a local shopping centre and watch the lust on people’s faces as they greedily eat up all the goodies on offer. They ain’t gonna stop. Even though, overall, if you spoke to these people over a coffee they would be concerned about the state of the world and would wish they could do something about it…

Anyway I have accepted it is the end of the world as we know it, and after years of anxiety and anger I feel pretty much fine about it. My reasons are philosophical. Let me begin with a description of karma. I do not see karma as a moral law. I see karma as a natural law that ensures equanimity in existence. At the ground of existence is a harmony that keeps all things in check. This is necessary to ensure order. From order all arises including me here typing on this computer. It is the fundamental coalescing force of existence. (The nature of this existence is left for physicists and mystics to ponder. I have written an earlier blog on this.) Karma is the law which ensures that this state of equanimity is never compromised. Anything that goes to the extreme will be be brought back to a harmonious position through balancing actions.

In the case of our planet, Earth, we have a harmonious system that has developed over billions of years. The huge diversity of life, ecosystems and environments on our planet is testimony to the extraordinary range of possibilities that the harmony of existence implies. Karma works throughout this process causing extinctions, population growths, transformations and whatever is necessary to ensure harmony. The special case connected with homosapiens is our furious pace of change! We have changed things so rapidly due to our extraordinary level of intelligence that the few billion years of fine tuning, which created our planet is being transformed almost overnight. Unfortunately our intelligence does not always translate to wisdom and we have pushed things so far and so rapidly in one direction that karma will inevitably pull things back in another direction.

Time for an analogy. I picture a nail embedded in wood as an image of the point of harmony to which existence is held. The actions of existence are like a rubber band hanging off the nail. They will stretch in any number of directions depending on the circumstances. This is one of the extraordinary aspects of existence, it is harmonious and ordered yet it can take on many forms. One only has to reflect on the diversity of existence to appreciate this. The law of karma is analogous to the elasticity of the rubber band. If it stretches to far from a state of harmony it will bounce back. In the case of humanity we are stretching the rubber band to breaking point here on Earth, and it is going to bounce back. The form of this change is hard to predict. But pretty clearly, by recent events around the world it is going to be catastrophic.

The question arises as to why humanity would knowingly walk towards its own doom when it knows that it is walking towards its own doom? Not only that, we also have all the solutions to ensure our survival and the flourishing of our civilisation(s). And we have the intelligence and the imagination to pull it off. So what stops us? I don’t know! But I try to imagine a person who holds a gun to their head and is surrounded by loved ones who tell them they will help and that they will be there for them. But still they shoot. Why? Do they hate their self? Are they inherently selfish? Do they have an unexplained death wish? Are they blind to the love that surrounds them? Can these questions be translated to humanity at large? I am sure their are psychologists with some answers somewhere.

So getting back to the song. I feel fine because I am sure that universal processes are playing our whether or not humanity is able to hear it. Humans are a fine and extraordinary emergence from the ground of existence as is all life on Earth. If we were to destroy ourselves it would be tragic, but it would not be the end. It would mean a major transformation in existence on Earth as we know it, due to the laws of karma, but it would not be the end of life. The dinosaurs were wiped out by a meteor collision. They were grandiose creatures whose life ended with a type of climate change that will dwarf ours and yet life found a way and thrived, including our mammal ancestors.

I continue to fight for this beautiful world and the amazing creatures that live on it – humans and otherwise – but if it is the end of the world as we know it, it is not the end of all the world’s as existence knows it, and so yeah, I feel fine about that.

There are many who believe that it is wrong to be self-centered, but I personally disagree. In fact, I would go so far as to say it’s unhealthy, if not absolutely impossible, to be anything else. Every experience you have is going to be instinctually and automatically put in context of yourself. There is nothing at all wrong with this. Since you live in the world, any change that happens in the world is going to have an effect on you, at least indirectly. The effect may be minor, but it will be there. It is important to our survival as individuals that we recognize how changes in other people and changes in the environment are going to affect us personally.

This certainly does not mean that you always have to put yourself and your own personal needs first, but it does mean that any action needs to be considered in terms of yourself. To affect the environment is to affect yourself and your life. To make a friend happy is to make a positive change in your environment and your life. To work to make the world a better place is to make a positive change in your own life.

The problem is not really self-centeredness, but putting your own needs far above the needs of the community. Nobody can give all the time. If you completely neglect yourself than your life will fall apart. As with everything else what is necessary is balance. Recognize that when your own needs are satisfied you are more effective in everything you do. Recognize that when you are calm and happy your performance will improve. But, also recognize that humans are social creatures. You do not exist in a vacuum and there are outside forces that can and will affect your life and your mood. Recognize that if you are surrounded by unhappy people it will make you unhappy. The more unhappiness you are surrounded by, the more of an effect it will have. Recognize that both suffering and joy spread from individual to individual. If you want to be happy than cultivating happiness in others is important. If you want others to be willing to help you, than being helpful is important. You get back what you give. If you continually give, then when you need help others will be willing to help you. But, on the other hand, if you choose negative you will get back negative. If you hurt people they will stop being your friends. If you always put yourself and your needs above the needs of others then no one will want to help you. If you never give and only try to take, then no one will want to help you when you are hurt and need help. Sometimes, it is hard for people to forgive. The more you hurt them, the harder it becomes. This is what karma is. This is the heart of justice. If you choose to hurt, you drive people away. If you hurt them enough, then their own need for safety will make them drive you away. If you become dangerous, then other people will treat you as someone who is dangerous to be around. If it is not safe for others to let you run free, they will not let you run free. If it is not safe to be around you, who really wants to be around you?

Remember, it’s never just your problem. If you have a problem and a bad attitude others around you will either try to help you take care of it or try to make you take care of it, and are right to do so, because your attitude and your actions affect them and everyone around you. Your body and your mind are the center of your life. What you have inside of you will radiate out into the world and come back to you. When you choose to make yourself a positive person and your life will move in a positive direction. When you choose to be caring and compassionate then you will reap the rewards that those actions bring. It’s only when you choose to make the world a better place that you get to live in a better world. Once you choose to be friendly then you will find yourself surrounded by friends. When you choose to fill yourself with love and live a loving life, then you find that the world around you is full of love. The life you live is centered on you and your choices, it can be no other way. You have the power to make positive choices, and live a happy life full of joy. Just fill yourself with love, with peace, and with compassion and radiate that out into the world. When you let love guide you, your life will be full of love.

I spent the entirety of my sophomore year of high school in a semi-catatonic haze. I woke every morning at just before six in order to catch the bus at six thirty, only to arrive at school a half hour before classes started. I generally spent that half hour slumped over in the hallway outside class, drooling into my JanSport.  When the teacher eventually appeared, I would stumble to my desk and lay with my head on my arms until the bell eventually genuinely woke me up, I managed to get myself upright if not entirely conscious.  On occasion, I would watch helplessly while my hand lost control as I started to drift off and scribbled across the page rather than taking notes the way my brain wanted me to.  My eyes would sting and I couldn’t hold back the endless tide of yawns.

Luckily, I generally had a study hall in which I could sleep, and a few kind teachers would led me slip into oblivion without objection.  One morning, while resting before a class with my favorite teacher, I heard the bell but didn’t manage to rouse myself to full consciousness.  I heard my teacher trying to quiet the class so that I didn’t wake.  I managed to drag my head upright and met his gaze.  Whatever he saw in my face must have been pretty serious because he suggested I dose myself with a can of Mountain Dew.  I groggily replied that the vending machines weren’t turned on until after lunch — to prevent them from siphoning money away from the bare cafeteria — and heaved myself into an upright position.

Apparently, I’m not that kind of teacher.

I have several students who routinely come to my class yawning and rubbing their eyes.  When I ask them how they are, they answer only, “I’m tired.”  With my students on the weekdays, it’s understandable.  They wake up early, sometimes travel for 2 hours by bus and train to get to school, practice sports or do club activities for an hour or two after school, and then finally schlep to English class.  I would be tired, too.  I only have one student, however, who has actually fallen asleep in class.  A student whose class starts at 4:30 pm on a Saturday.  When I quiz her about her sleeping patterns and Saturday activities, she generally tells me that she’s slept eight hours and spent the whole day lying around the house.  On the one day that I wake up early — getting a measly seven hours of sleep — I’m a lot less sympathetic.

In reality, I’m mostly just amused. That class in general amuses me and I find it kind of poetically awesome that I now have a student sleeping in my class.  Plus, watching her lose it right in the middle of class kind of kills me. I’ve watched her doze off mid-sentence.  I don’t even know how that’s possible, but she manages it.  The first time it happened, I just called her name or clapped really loudly to rouse her.  The next time she fell asleep in class, I started being more proactive.  I tossed a foam dice at her head, and when she fell asleep a second time, I demanded that she stand and do ten jumping jacks.  When she still couldn’t stay awake, I made her stand.

I had a hard time keeping myself from laughing when she still managed to drift off momentarily, leaning against the wall with her textbook held loosely in her hands.

OkNo sarebbe anche un ottimo social network se solo non si postassero ripetutamente le solite notizie.A volte entrando e vedendo i titoli,mi sento presa per il culo.Quante notizie riportano lo stesso argomento?
Di Berlusconi? che du coioni!Marazzo e che cazzo!Destra,sinistra,centro,centro destra,centro sinistra,ok mi compro il TomTom almeno so dove mi trovo.Certo essere informati su cosa combinano in quel di Roma è indubbiamente utile,ma si cade sempre nelle solite discussioni.Dai su,in quanti al mattino mentre prendono il caffè non leggono il quotidiano o non sentono un tg?Abbiamo veramente bisogno di leggere?,si leggere che utopia,dal titolo abbiam già capito se è un Ok o un No,o se è meglio dare un Ok per far si che il voto ci venga ricambiato..ops,però se do un No,la mia notizia potrebbe passare e quindi avrei piu’ entrate,ma aspetta un secondo,quante persone ho online? no no forse è meglio se aspetto che qualche amico si colleghi,almeno passo il link e puff ecco che sono in Home! Wauw,ma sono un genio,cio’ che ho postato è veramente di grande interesse.

Ahi ahi i voti,bhè c’è decisamente poco da dire,piu’ persone hai tra i contatti e piu’ Ok ti prendi,non importa quanto sia o non sia interessante la notizia/post,ma appunto quanto sei popolare.Comunque non tutto è rosso in OkNo,un esempio personale? la storia di Sara,molti utenti l’hanno seguita proprio grazie al social network,altra nota verde è la satira della quale molti blogger son dotati,o la massaia che ti da la dritta su come arabattarti in cucina,(quanto sale metto in due litri di acqua se devo cucinare 500gr di pasta? con un click ecco la risposta al mio quesito,su Answers ci metterei troppo dovrei attendere che qualche utente si colleghi ed avere la fortuna che legga la mia domanda e che sappia poi rispondermi. Ma,c’è anche chi, grazie alla propria passione per lo sport ti aggiorna sui vari avenimenti(ma per questo non c’è Tv Sorrisi e Canzoni?),la poesia?Oddio bella,ma se dico che non ci ho capito na mazza fa nulla vero? Ma si stiamo tranquilli OkNotizie arriverà di certo al panettone…escort,trans,gay,coca,video,omicidi,suicidi,inseriti nella categoria”Politica” ,sono in fondo,”Gossip”! 

Chi ha occhi per leggere, legga!

Good Luck OKNo!

A broken laptop doesn't have to mean the end of the world.

In most cases this is one of the worst events imaginable: a computer with years worth of work on it…completely broken. But I found myself not at all phased by this, In fact I thought I was quite lucky.

Firstly, last week I decided to install windows 7, this meant I had to back up everything on my external hard drive, so five years worth of computerised notes are safely backed up.

This sounds incredibly lucky but it really isn’t, my laptop was stolen a few years ago and as I tutor people in medicine, they had copies of all my notes, ready to provide me with. That is good karma!

Secondly, the man in the shop suggested I should buy another laptop. So I called my dad and he was kind enough to say, put it on your credit card and I’ll pay it off, call it an early Christmas present. That too is good karma: I have a dad that will bail me out when I have a problem.

Thirdly, I soon realised I had 3 years worth of insurance that came with my laptop. It covers damage and theft and the policy has four months left on it, ok so that is amazing karma!

Lastly, I have a small netbook which I can use while I’m waiting for the insurance company to sort out my laptop.

There are probably people reading this, cursing me at the fact that all these things have worked out so nicely. And instead of complaining, I’m being positive. I just really don’t like to moan when problems can be fixed so easily.

When bad things happen to me I usually think about the positives and the ways I can turn the situation into a joke and tell people about it. Like when a door fell on me and knocked me out or my newspaper flying out of my bag, spliting into separate pages and soaring everywhere in the wind.

People judge me all the time (which is their fault, anybody who judges people negatively before knowing them is not a very nice person). They see my name is Sunshine, I wear pretty clothes, have a small dog and tell jokes. And they presume I’m an idiot, when really they are the morons.

I don’t need to prove I’m intelligent, it’s odd because in the hospital I have never had anybody show me disrespect because of my personality. In fact in my experience, the staff have done the opposite. They saw my bubbliness as a positive and started calling me Dr Sparkle.

Once a patient had some bad news and a consultant specifically told me to go and see them to explain some information and to cheer them up and I was honoured that he thought my personality could help in the situation.

Working in a hospital can be absolutely terrible sometimes, when the patients die, it really hurts and obviously you have to put professionalism first. But, it doesn’t mean you can’t tell the odd joke in lighter situations.

The other day one of the journalism students asked me where the other medical journalist was, I said I didn’t know and he said,

“Well as she isn’t here, I guess I can ask you.”

It really hurt that he considered me less intelligent than her, based purely on my personality. After all he doesn’t know my grades, he doesn’t know I passed exams with “excellents” even though I’d taken them hours after my Gran had died.

So it proves it doesn’t always work out to be bubbly and positive, but I think I’ll stick to it. People can be harsh, even if they don’t know they are doing it, but I always go by the belief my friend taught me. I was once upset that somebody had judged me and got me all wrong and he said to me:

“Do you know how lucky you are? You don’t have to waste your time getting to know her and realising how mean she is now.”

I don’t think anybody in this world is better than anyone else except in one way: people who are two faced and nasty are mean people. People who have the respect to not judge people and talk about them behind their back are good people. So let’s see what karma does to the two faced people when their computers break!

¿Qué es el karma? Este concepto oriental que hace referencia a una ley metafísica de retribución, causa y efecto de nuestros actos, se ha venido difundiendo en Occidente gracias el interés que ha generado la espiritualidad oriental. Una de los ejemplos más claros de esto es la serie norteamericana My Name Is Earl, su argumento se basa en que un delicuente que ha jugado la lotería está apunto de ganar cien mil dólares al raspar un billete de lotería cuando lo atropeya un auto se siente mal por eso sin embargo al escuchar sobre el karma en un programa de de televisión es que decide hacer una lista de las cosas malas que ha hecho para tratar de enmendarlas con la finalidad de que su vida pueda cambiar. El karma se convierte entonces en el hilo conductor de la historia el tratar de acarrear buen karma con sus acciones y evitar generar un mal karma evitando cometer los  mismos errores. Un real cambio representa en su vida la creencia en este concepto que si bien es usado con varias significaciones  y explicaciones en el hinduismo y el budismo también es un término muy difundido gracias esotérico movimiento New Age. La necesidad de creer en algo creer aunque no sea una religión hace que la gente trate de darle un sentido a su vida mediante la configuración de un sistema de creencias personal es entonces que el karma al igual que otros conceptos orientales empiezan a difundirse. Lo peligroso del karma es que al igual que el concepto del pecado cristiano es que nos impida actuar libremente y nos sintamos culpables por el pasado, si algo hay que rescatar es que una creencia como esa refleja la búsqueda del hombre de encontrar un equilibrio en su vida.

I have a “pet peeve.” Actually, it’s a little bigger than that. I hate when karma is appropriated as a wish of someone “getting what’s coming” to them, “getting theirs” or in place of some form of revenge or just poetic justice.

I hate the terms “Karma is a bitch” or “Karma will get you.” To me, it’s an automatic indication that someone who’s said that a) doesn’t know anything about karma, and b) doesn’t even believe in karma in the first place otherwise they wouldn’t make such a generalized statement like that.

Karma isn’t some crazy vengeful force. It’s a law of moral causation. What you put into the universe – both GOOD, and bad, and everything in between – will make its way back to you. Now or later. It’s not a moral tit-for-tat or scorecard that karma keeps.

If you really want to believe in karma, don’t dabble in it and make these half-blind statements about it. Really give it your attention, or just admit that you don’t believe in it and quit using it for your own misguided purpose. Either you believe in it or you don’t. Don’t just use it to make yourself feel better when someone does something to hurt you or bother you. It’s not meant to be used for convenience. It’s an actual way of belief.

And don’t think for a second that anything bad that actually does come to your enemy was karma working on your behalf. If you believe in karma, you believe that your soul (or your energy, as I like to put it) has existed for a very long time. Your enemy’s has too. They are working through their own karma – good and bad, just as you are. So worry about yours. Just do what makes your soul feel good (AKA the “right” thing) and don’t stress about whether someone else is getting theirs. If you believe in karma, you know they will reap the positive as well as the negative.

Karma is actually to keep people doing good and wanting to do good, not just to punish for doing bad. The idea is to do good and be rewarded both in this life and in your future lives.

For the record, I don’t subscribe to a belief in karma. I’m just tired of seeing it misappropriated. I hear it and read it a lot, being referred to as a bitch.

Some people may think that they probably should’ve met before he became my boyfriend. Our relationship becoming “official” is kind of something that just happened. Really, we’ve been in our “relationship” for quite a while. We established exclusivity a long time ago, but we’re still working on codes of conduct lol. I just wasn’t sure how long and in what ways he intended on being around. I’m still not completely sure, and I don’t think he is either. I’m fine with that. I think as far as our relationship is concerned, we’re just going to go with the flow like we’ve been doing. So honestly, we just put a label to it. Nothing’s changing drastically because of the label. We’re both in places, separately, that we’re certain we’re not going to be in forever. We’re both separately, trying to figure out what’s next. I don’t know if we’re ready to even think about merging the separate worlds yet.

He and Karma have kind of met each other in passing, but they’ve spent no time together at all. I don’t want her getting close to someone that I don’t know for certain is going to be around. At the same time, how can he and I assess how long he’s going to be around in my life if I don’t let him in to something my life is revolving around? Karma.
If I let him in, things just get more serious and possibly more complicated since her father is trying to etch his way back in. I do want him to spend some time in my world with Karma though because I do feel ready to let him know a little more what that is like. I want to know just how capable or willing he’d be to make her part of his world at some point. He doesn’t have kids, but he likes them, and I’m sure he’d love Karma and she’d love him. That’s the scary part.

The other big factor in this is that he and I are actually in a long-distance relationship. He’s in St. Louis. Though I’ve been making it to St. Louis every weekend for a while, timing issues, living arrangements, and pride have been keeping us from spending as much time as we’d like. A big part of that is that I’ve been going out of my way to not have him and Karma cross paths. This weekend he is supposed to drive to where I am to see me. I’ve been debating whether or not to still go out of my way because he and I have never had a whole weekend just to ourselves. I could have her father come and get her, but I still have issues with that. OR I could let her stay because the fact of the matter is, most weekends I don’t get to be by myself. She’s generally me weekend sidekick and that’s something he’d need to understand and accept if he planned on being around. We’ve slightly talked about it before. He’s made sure I know that he realizes her and I are a package deal. In growing up with a step-father who was there in the most minimal sense, and seeing a lot of relationships where men with or without children decide to be with women that already have children, I see that most men, black men especially, don’t truly get what the “package deal” really is. If they did, I think we’d have a lot more black marriages and “real” black families.

What do you think? Should I have her go, or stay the weekend?