I finally got to the point with Kat, Bianca and Dustin. That I just ignore them. Because I don’t need that kind of drama in my life. I have enough stress, I don’t need them adding on to it. So that’s how that part of my life is going.

On the Dad front, he’s doing okay. He’s still in the hospital, but the doctor says he should be home before Christmas. So that’s a good thing.

Randal mad it home save. So that’s a God send. Even though we are only friends, I worry about him. He’s like my little brother. And he kept me from doing a lot of stupid things at job corps. So I think I she see to it that he’s okay. Or at least do as much as I can to keep him that way.

Haven’t talked to Caitlynne much lately. I really do think she has totally dropped me off her list of friends, which is fine with me. Because we don’t agree with each other on a lot of things. And she won’t just not bring up a subject that she knows you won’t want to talk about. She seems to think that you have to believe the same way as you do. Oh, and I wouldn’t doubt that my brother, Donald told her exactly what I wrote to him about her. But I thought that he needed to know about the girl he wanted to marry, before he actually married her. Anyways, she told me that she was moving to Georgia in January, but I don’t know how much I can really believe anymore. Because she is also talking about dropping out of school and joining air force. I don’t know what gets into the girl’s head some days. But frankly I just don’t care anymore.

Anyways, I’m glad I got rid of the Caity drama too. I just wish that it hadn’t taken me as long as it did. To realize that she was the person making drama in my life, and that if I really wanted to make it so that drama wasn’t a part of my life, then I had to lose a friend. But in the process, I asked myself how can someone as selfish as her, really expect to keep friends. When she thinks everything is all about her. She won’t take no for an answer. You can’t talk about anything with her, unless it’s about a problem she is currently having. She is also the only person I know that can have a new boyfriend every week or two, at almost 19. She says she wants to settle down and have kids. But yet has an abortion. She contradicts everything she has ever said to anyone in her actions.

My mom says at first she thought maybe it was just normal rebellious 18-year-old behavior. But eventually it all ends, and hers is only getting worse the closer to 19 she gets. And she always said she wanted to go to college, but now that she’s in college she doesn’t want to be there. How much sense does that really make? I don’t know.I’m just glad that I’m finally getting some relative stability in my life. Even if that means losing so-called friends.

Anyways, I’m glad to finally be DRAMA FREE,  for now anyways.

-Sasha<3

We miss you “hott ma”!

We can’t wait to hear all about your trip to Europe!

So far we’ve spent a couple of months putting together our LIFE LAYOUT, our vision of the future.  And last month was all about being practical, how you can finance your dream.  This month, though, is not about money.  It’s about you.

While you’re running about preparing for the holidays, you will be able to come here to focus on peace, joy, play, and spirituality.   We’ll talk about mindfulness and tapping into your intuition – the storehouse of your life experience.  We’ll continue the conversation about values that we began while you were creating your LIFE LAYOUT.

You have a dream to realize if you are to live the life you have envisioned.  This is the month to step inside yourself and fortify.  And have some fun doing it.

Don’t miss a single post, including some guest posts I know you’ll enjoy reading:  Subscribe to Re-Do You! by Email

Can’t wait for tonight – the final In The Artist’s Studio of ‘09 featuring Res.

By the way, its SOLD OUT!  So unless you’re a blood relative of Kat’s or last name is Obama see you in 2010 for the next INAS.

Visit www.lilsoso.com for more info.

I hope you used the tips and the posts from this month to re-invent your relationship with money. It’s a sure way to realize the future you created for yourself faster.

Since my LIFE LAYOUT is mostly about retiring in a couple of years, I really needed to get serious about money.

Here’s what I did:

1. I began by calculating how much money I would need monthly to be able to live in retirement and cover financial risks.  I realized I needed additional information so I contacted my benefits department to learn:

• The exact amount and start date of my future monthly pension
• An estimate of my 401(k) plan total at my planned retirement date
• Transferability of my medical, dental, and vision, and life insurance

2.  The news?  My monthly pension and 401(k) were both higher than I realized.  Fantastic!

While my health and life insurance weren’t transferable, I would have Cobra to fall back on (if I can’t get less expensive health insurance) until Medicare kicks in.  And I will leave my employment insurable for both health and life.  My benefits representative helped me estimate these costs.  So I factored all of this into my budget.

3.  I budgeted for $100,000 of life insurance to cover burial costs and a small legacy for each of the kids.  Just enough for a first house down payment, extra schooling, or to start a new business.

4.  I added in the cost of a good long term care insurance policy to cover retrofitting a home, assisted living, at home care, or a nursing home.  If I become infirmed, I don’t want my kids to suffer financially or have to make difficult decisions based on money.

5.  I reviewed my annual Social Security statement to calculate my monthly income at various ages.

6.  When it was all said and done, I could enter retirement debt-free, pay for the move, and maintain a modest nest egg.  But, because I’m insistent that I want to cover all financial and health risks and maintain my current discretionary spending habits, I’m $800 short of what I need monthly for a couple of years.  Airplane tickets to visit the children and grandchildren and books I’m not really willing to cut back on!

I can easily cover this shortfall, without touching the nest egg, with my writing, book sales, and my marketing and job search business.

7.  To test out my calculations, I began living on my retirement budget as of my mid-November paycheck.  The rest I’m plowing into the 401 (k) plan.  My employer has a very generous match and I’m fully vested now.  I can always cut back on my contribution if I absolutely have to.  But because my contribution is not taxable, I increased my income tax withholding allowances.  This softened the blow to the net paycheck somewhat.

It’s amazing how focused I’ve become, especially about the “nickel and dime” spending!  Here’s the test I use:  Am I willing to pay to move this?  Am I willing to compromise my retirement strategy for this?

• I’m cleaning out all of my books – you know how heavy those are to move- and selling unwanted books at the book store.  Pin money for sure, but I cover a sack or two of groceries with each trip.

• I sold my treadmill which is, of course, like brand new, too heavy to move, and the walk from my apartment to the fitness room is, after all, more exercise.

• I’m not renewing any magazines.

• I sold the extra TV, which brought in a little cash, but saved $50 on the monthly cable bill.

• I experiment with a generic or store brand item every shopping trip.  I previously have been “brand loyal” no matter the cost.  it’s been a real eye-opener for me how less costly items can be very satisfactory.

• But here’s the most fun and powerful budget move I made, totally inspired by Nadia’s rule to “buy everything you would typically buy anyway at the lowest price”:

I made a spreadsheet of everything I routinely buy:  groceries, cosmetics, pet, and household, by brand name.  Yes, it took a while!  But I already had an Excel spreadsheet grocery list with little boxes to check that I use to create my shopping list.  So that helped.

The list of items went down the left hand column of the spreadsheet.

Then, across the top, I titled each column for a store at which I typically shop:  Target, CVS Pharmacy, Walgreens, Petsmart, HEB Plus. I could have added Walmart, but it’s a little further than the others and I rarely shop there.  These are my “go-to” stores. I rarely veer.

I printed out the list, clipped it to a clipboard, and stashed it in the car.

Over the last few weeks, as I’ve shopped, I’ve been jotting down the prices of my items at each of the stores.  Not the sale prices, the regular prices.   Someone more ambitious might do a field trip and knock it out in one day.  That is not me.

So I’m about a third of the way in completely listing and comparing the routine cost of each of my routinely purchased items.  But my master grocery list is already expanded and continually updated by store.  When I’m in Walgreen’s, I pick up certain items.  In Target, others.  And, of course, I buy my $50 of sale items I typically purchase.  So I’m always buying low.

I’m not obsessive about it but frankly, before now, I bought strictly on convenience.  I couldn’t have told you the cost of anything I purchased routinely if my life depended on it.  I’m already seeing a difference in my budget.  And it’s kind of fun.  It’s a challenge I’m freely embracing to meet my goal.

Me, thrifty.  Somewhere my kids are laughing…

In honor of Ben Franklin who focused on one virtue a month each year (plus humility, which he worked on all year round on the advice of a detractor),  I’m working on one  life principle each week from Sunday to Saturday.  Will you join me?

This month we’ve been focusing on counting pennies, which is definitely rewarding.  But there is another currency we should be counting.  And it is even more rewarding.

Counting miracles is a way to demonstrate, first of all, that we expect them.  You don’t set about to count something that you         don’t ever expect to encounter.  But also, it’s a way to look back on a day and focus on the good parts of it.

So this week’s life principle is to keep a journal by your bed or under your pillow.  Right before you nod off, list the date and the day’s miracles.  Here’s where you will experience another reward of miracle counting:  you’ll be going to sleep with the best of the day on your mind – a recipe for sweet dreams.

At the end of the month, or whenever you need a pick-me-up, flip back through the pages.  You will be continually amazed at the number of little moments of joy you experience.  On even the most ordinary day.

Tip:  Ask the kids for a moleskin journal.  The big bookstores all have them.  They are soft little books worthy of keeping your miracles.  Each year start a new book.  Save your books in a place where you keep treasured family souvenirs.  Your children, whose names will surely be part of their contents, will cherish them long after you are gone.

What’s a miracle?  We probably won’t be doing much counting if we limit our miracles to those happenings that involve claps of thunder, bolts of lightning, and common objects transforming into nuggets of gold.  But, if you are an adult who drives and has a tendency to leave a few minutes later than you should, and you score a parking place just outside the building in which you have an appointment that took six weeks to book, you know right off the bat.  That is a miracle.

Some of my favorite miracles – that occur just enough times to maintain their miracle status, after all if they happened all the time, they would not be miracles, would they? – include:

• Finally remembering a person’s name right at the second you are forced to use it for the first time at a party
• The dog being able to “hold it” even though I’m home an hour late
• Finding a little piece of pumpkin pie in the frig after all the kids are packed and gone
• The test that came back negative

Sold the unused treadmill in a week?  Finally cleaned out the hall closet?  Your teen offered to do the dishes?  Smiled when you wanted to strangle?  Miracles, all!

But, who’s keeping track?  That would be you.

Week 8:  Tally your miracles

Hoe hou je drie Pippa’s in stilte bezig ?

Heel eenvoudig: je geeft Mamapippa haar fototoestel, je laat voor Minipippa een pluim neerdwarrelen en zonder twijfelen komt onmiddellijk Pippapoes aangelopen. Deze samenloop van voorziene omstandigheden levert volgende foto’s op …

Det sødeste du kommer til at se i dag.

Dad had his surgery on the first. He is doing okay kidney wise I guess. But now his memory is getting worse. Not his normal bad day either, like fifty times worse than that. He barely even remembers who he is much less anything else. Half the time he doesn’t even remember when me and my mom come and visit him. I don’t know but me and my mom just have this feeling that maybe this is really the beginning of the end.

Anways, on another note. It seems as though just when I thought I finally had Dustin mostly out of my life and my business. And basically had it so that I didn’t talk to him anymore. He decides that one of his many friends he has made since leaving Ponca needs some advice. And stupid me thought that since I’m very good advice I would help her. Well long story short this chick might be more pshyco then Christina on her bad days. And her girlfriend is like nine times worse than her. And basically she has been texting me none stop for three days, it’s getting annoying. I never usually have to put my phone on silent or anything when I go to sleep, because everyone knows if its real late just not to text me if I’m not online. Well not her, she will text me at all hours of the day and night, so now I have to remember to put my phone on silent before I go to sleep or I won’t be able to sleep because she won’t stop texting. Without fail every morning I have at least fourty messages from her that were all sent while I was asleep. I am beginning to think when does this chick sleep because she’s always texting someone. And it seems to me that she has no life, and I hate to break this to her, but mine isn’t much more interesting then hers so she doesn’t need to know what I’m doing every second of the day.

Anyways, it’s supposed to snow today. If it does I will post a picture of what it looks like. First snow of the season and all. Which it’s coming late this year, because usually by December 8th it has snowed at least twice and it hasn’t. Not that I mind because I totally don’t. I hate the cold.

Not much happy news this time. But I hope things start to get better, and my posts can be happy. Because when I’m happy I tend to post more. It’s kind of depressing to never have anything good to post on here, so if I don’t sometimes.

Oh, almost forgot. I do have one happy thing happening today. My friend Randal is coming home on leave from Iraq. He left Iraq at 4am Baghdad time, so it was like 7PM Oklahoma time. He should be in the states sometime today. Not sure when though. But I”m glad that he’s doing okay. And that he gets to be home for Christmas, because he’s been over there since July.

-Sasha <3

Britain’s biggest-selling chocolate biscuit, Nestle’s Kit Kat, is going Fairtrade in January, spelling good news for cocoa farmers…. From BBC News. Full story

This site may contain information about: farm. For a different topic see here. The blog is also related to: farm.

In honor of Ben Franklin who focused on one virtue a month each year (plus humility, which he worked on all year round on the advice of a detractor), I’m working on one life principle each week from Sunday to Saturday. Will you join me?

I going to admit it front and center. This one is tough. It looks easy. It’s not, trust me.

Admit it, you have trouble letting go of an old t-shirt. This life principle asks you to let go of things you may have been holding onto for all of your life!

What are these things you will be asking yourself to let go of? Typically they are going to be mindsets you have about something or someone. The first clue that you have something that is begging to be sent packing is when you hear yourself saying the word “always” or it’s equally evil twin, “never”.

A whole world of possibilities are lost between those two words.

Possibilities like trying a new food, exploring a new way of communicating with someone, learning a new skill, meeting a new person, loving a previously “hated” part of yourself, giving someone a break, turning a corner on a relationship…

Every morning let go of something.  Whether you want to or not.

Week Nine: Let it go