Levi Johnston is trash because he’s behaving like a combination of Kato Kaelin and Joey Buttafuoco. This is a guy who’s trying to make a living by hurting the family of the woman he had a child with. What does that say about Levi Johnston?

Levi Johnston is trash, plain and simple

by John Hawkins

If Sarah Palin had been a Democrat, no show more credible than Jerry Springer’s would be giving Levi Johnston a chance to spread scurrilous gossip about her.

Why would they? Levi Johnston is a 19-year-old high school dropout whose mother is in jail for selling Oxycontin. Johnston’s sister Mercede? She got her pockets filled by the trashy Star magazine to talk about the Palin family. Read that description of the Johnston family and you tell me if you’d trust any of them to so much as mind the till at your child’s lemonade stand for five minutes.

Setting that aside, Levi Johnston isn’t Sarah Palin’s friend, her husband, her business partner, her adviser, or even a staffer. To the contrary, he’s a 19-year-old kid who got to spend a little time around the family and their daughter. Do you really think Sarah Palin is spilling her deepest, darkest secrets in front of Levi? Do you think she’d talk about divorcing her husband in front of him? Do you think she’d call her son a “retard” in his presence? Common sense says “no.”

Of course, anything’s possible and common sense isn’t always common. But if someone’s lying, who do you think it’s more likely to be? The woman who knowingly chose to have and raise a child with Down syndrome or the kid who parlayed being the source of malicious gossip about Sarah Palin into a pistachio commercial? Who’s lying? A woman who made a reputation for herself fighting corruption in politics or a kid who now refers to himself as Ricky Hollywood?

Perhaps Levi Johnston hasn’t thought through the long-term ramifications of his actions. He probably didn’t get much of a moral education from his drug-dealing mother and there isn’t much of an indication that he’s bright. Have you seen his Twitter feed? Twitter isn’t exactly an intellectual medium, but read some of these tweets from the last 72 hours and ask yourself if Levi Johnston is smart enough to fully understand how he’s being used:

i FEEL LIKE I’M IN A RAP VIDEO EVERYTIME I COME HERE.. !! WHATS THE DEAL WITH THE TAXI DRIVERS NOT SPEAKING ENGLISH IS IT A LAW AGAINST IT?

Is it true that NYC doesn’t have a drinking law .. !!! you can buy alcohol any time , all day all night ??? SWEEEETTTTTTTTT

You ever feel like doing everything in a city you visit but always end up not doing sh*t , just watching TV at the hotel & eating out !

Would you show your WANG for $35,000 ?

Levi Johnston is not trash because of those tweets. He’s not trash because of the family he was born into. He’s not trash because he’s a high school dropout and not the brightest guy in the world. He’s not even trash because he doesn’t like Sarah Palin. Not everybody likes her. It doesn’t make them bad people.

Levi Johnston is trash because he’s behaving like a combination of Kato Kaelin and Joey Buttafuoco. This is a guy who’s trying to make a living by hurting the family of the woman he had a child with. What does that say about Levi Johnston?

What does his lack of regard for his own son say about him? He’s utterly poisoned his relationship with the mother of his child and her family. He’s in talks to do full frontal nudity for Playgirl. In another few years, when Bristol and Levi’s son Tripp is in school, is he going to have someone thrusting pictures from Levi’s Playgirl spread in his face? Is Tripp going to be proud of the way his father earned his 15 minutes of fame? A “man” like Levi Johnston who sees nothing wrong with putting his own child through that for his own tawdry self-aggrandizement doesn’t deserve to truly be referred to as a man.

So Levi can try to make a career out of spreading lies about the grandmother of his child if he likes. There’s very little anyone can do to stop him since it’s a he-said/she-said situation. Some people will even believe him. Malevolent sociopaths like Johnston often manage to fool people — at least for a little while. So let him mouth off about his huge secret on CBS. He’s probably talking with his agent right now trying to figure out what it is and the biggest media outlet he can get to cover it. That’s what snakes like Johnston do when they get a chance.

The people who really deserve to be ashamed are the people who know better. Those are the people in the media who figure Johnston is a liar, don’t have any more respect for him than they do for something they scraped off their shoe, and yet still give him an outlet to peddle his fabrications because they hate Sarah Palin. Levi Johnston may be trash, but it’s the people who are spreading that garbage everywhere as if it’s credible who should retch every time they look at their own faces in the mirror.

We hate ChemistryBlog, and we hate the post Meth and mirror images: errors in Nick Reding’s “Methland.”

Oh. Yes. Now we see the problem with meth.

1. WE HATE how scary these polygons are, yet how innocent they look in your diagrams. Nick Reding writes a book about the degradation of a town by meth, and you take the chance to talk about an interesting chemical compound. Look where scientific explanations have gone since we were young and believed science was exciting and fun. Now science is either trying to kill us directly and quickly, or keep us alive long enough to kill us slowly and indirectly.

2. WE HATE that you probably get all of the xkcd comics that we don’t.

If this is funny to you, you probably don't need to worry about a fitness algorithm.

3. WE HATE that you only read Reding’s book because you heard it on NPR. We’re so tired of NPR. A story about the devastating effects of meth use on a small town. Come on.

When is NPR going to stop focusing on all these soft news stories? When will they get with the program and finally ask the tough questions? For instance, when will NPR ask Kato Kaelin what he thought of Michael Jackson’s untimely demise?

It is purely coincidental that this picture appears on a post that talks about meth.

4. WE HATE the nose-bleed obscurity of your jokes. We will now quote you taking a Reding quote to task for chemical inaccuracy: “To make meth from ephedrine, you don’t ‘remove a single oxygen atom from the outer electron ring.” Now, here’s your snide comment immediately after that: “that sounds like something you do on the planet Zefu.”

Zing!

That joke sounds like the crap they like in the Drukta 4 System.

5. WE HATE that you show a graph on your page comparing the metrics of your blog against other chemistry blogs. We don’t need to see this. We’ll just wait for the Chemistry Blog Death Match Show on C-SPAN. (Need a host? We know someone looking for more work.)

In our Fantasy Blog league, we just traded for coronene.com. Kid's got potential.

Khloe Kardashian finally finds someone with a sneer to match her own! Like pink eye, sometimes true love only take 6 weeks to develop.

Khloe Kardashian can’t keep her ample mug out of the papers – not because it’s physically impossible but because Khloe’s in love!

Like big sis’ Kim, soon-to-be-dumped Khloe is following in her father Robert Kardashian’s footsteps of extracting low-octane publicity from innocent until proven guilty professional athletes like up and coming NBA star, Lamar Odon.

“It’s a win-win,” according to Lamar Odon’s sneering publicist, Kato Kaelin.

“It’s a match made in heaven, unless you don’t believe in hell,” shares Kaelin who lives on Lamar’s sumptuous compound (in the guest house of course!).

“The fact that Khloe’s face affects the tide only makes their walks on the beach that much more memorable.”

What a stellar month it’s been for the Kardi’s – Kourtney’s pregnant, Khloe’s getting hitched after only 6 weeks of dating and oldest Kim finally got to audition her hootch up close and personal before highly flaccid sex mogul Hugh Hefner.

“No one in this family is damaged or starving for attention by doing desperate things like getting pregnant out of wedlock or married to a total stranger,” assures mother Kris Kardashian.

“Look at me. I have 6 beautiful kids, a lovely home, I make money like a pimp off my ho-bag daughters and I have a husband with a facelift and eyebrows that any woman would kill for! What more could any parasitic woman living in L.A. want?”

Not much Kris with a K,  not much.

Klass act Kris Kardashian gets all her motherly advice from E! True Hollywood Stories, Sharon Osbourne and Heidi Fleiss.

Dead OJ Simpson Defense Attorney Robert Kardashian left behind a free OJ and a generation of reality TV stars for Americans to embrace and emulate. For that we say, 'enjoy your dirt nap, sir.'

I wouldn’t have even realized it if I hadn’t seen it on ESPN.

Fifteen years ago, today.

The slowest high-speed chase in history.

But you couldn’t stop watching.

It was Sunday, July 17, 1994.

According to the ESPN report, it was actually a pretty big day in sports … Arnold Palmer’s final U.S. Open round, … a big Ken Griffey Jr. HR, … NBA Finals Game 5, … the New York Rangers’ Stanley Cup parade.

But if it hadn’t been the opening day of the World Cup, I may have missed any live coverage of that bizarre day.

What I saw of the slowest high-speed chase in world history I witnessed from a bungalow in the Bahamas. I was on vacation with my girlfriend, Eli, and her family. Her father was Italian and a huge soccer fan. The only reason we watched TV that day was so he could see the first day of the World Cup being held in the U.S.

I couldn’t believe my eyes.

O.J. Simpson on the run. There was no way he did it. Had to be some mistake. He was framed, he was covering for someone. It had to be something else. O.J. Simpson? A double-murderer? No way.

I gave him the benefit of the doubt for quite some time. It was a sad story, in a way. But eventually I joined most sane people at the conclusion that he killed his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and the unlucky Ronald Goldman.

I remember where I was when the not guilty verdict was read, standing with about 50 others, including my friend Tyrone Walker, in one of the lounges in Clemson’s old University Union. A bunch of people cheered. A bunch were angry. A bunch, like Tyrone and myself, simply couldn’t believe what we had just heard.

Our security guard at the newspaper, Mr. Black, and I talked about that trial tonight. It’s amazing the things and people who have become part of the culture as a result of that tragedy. It amazes me how easy it was to list their names. Some were famous before, but most were about to get their five minutes …

Christopher Darden and Marcia Clark.

Robert Shapiro and Johnnie Cochran.

F. Lee Bailey and Alan Dershowitz. And Barry Scheck.

Judge Lance Ito and Henry Lee.

Roger Cossack and Greta Van Susteren.

Mark Fuhrman and Kato Kaelin.

A.J. Cowlings, Fred Goldman and Denise Brown.

Robert Kardashian and Traci Adell.

Do you remember them all? And what they did?

Remember how many people covered the trial. I t made Court TV. Cosack and Van Susteren had a show that ran for eight years that never would have come into being if not for the trial. Van Susteren is still on the air.

Did you know, despite leading the police on that ridiculous chase, no charges were ever filed against Cowlings? In fact, O.J. was never charged with evading arrest, either.

It just seemed so surreal. O.J. Simpson running. I mean really on the run. I spent the rest of my week in the Bahamas certain that by the time we returned home, all this would be settled. Little did I know ….

And it all started for me, like most Americans, with those oh-so-familiar film clips of a white Ford Bronco making it’s way down a California freeway.

For anyone who has ever fantasized about being in show business, here is the opportunity to live out that dream as audience members step into the role of guests at the nuptials and wedding reception of Tina Vitale and Tony Nunzio.

For two hours at Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino, guests enjoy hilarious interaction with the bride and groom and members of their boozing, brawling families. This is improvisation at its best, which is why Tony n’ Tina’s Wedding is the second-longest running show in off-Broadway history.

Tony and Tina have walked down the aisle more than 2,000 times in front of more than 450,000 guests during its seven-year run in Las Vegas alone, and still every wedding is one-of-a-kind experience. The evening offers lots of laughs, an Italian buffet dinner with champagne and the chance to shake it on the dance floor and participate in a conga line. Guests even receive a souvenir photo to remember the evening.

The show began in New York City 21 years ago, yet it takes place in the current day, which keeps it fresh and relevant.  “We’ve updated the costumes and music to suit Planet Hollywood’s younger, hipper crowd and replaced standards like Sinatra’s “Fly Me to the Moon” with more upbeat music from artists like Fergie, “ says Larry Pellegrini, the show’s original director and one of its co-creators.

But this version comes with a twist from the mind of Robert Earl co-chairman of Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino who, says Pellegrini, “suggested we bring in a variety of celebrity wedding crashers which fits their Hollywood theme. So far we’ve had wrestler Rowdy Roddy Piper, [singer] Tiffany, Barry Williams from The Brady Bunch and Kato Kaelin.  Each celebrity crasher plays themselves and has a back story that connects them to the show so it makes sense why they are there.”

Kaelin makes an appearance as an old friend of the Nunzio family. “I was Tony’s houseguest in Brooklyn while I auditioned for soap operas, long before I was O.J.’s houseguest,” Kaelin explains of the connection. “I talk with people, make jokes, sit in their lap and invite them to dance.”

Kaelin says he had fun with the role and improvising on the go as guests referenced his past. “One night someone shouted, ‘Did he do it?’ and I shouted back, ‘Yes, he did it. Tony got married.’”

The fast-moving show which spoofs the union of two colorful Italian families is like a three-ring circus, complete with arguments between the bride and groom and their relatives; toasts made between the best man and maid-of-honor that will have you in stitches; and even Tony smashing a piece of wedding cake into Tina’s face.

There’s also lots of hugging. “I’ve taught the cast to be Italian, to embrace a person in the meaningful way, rather than just being funny,” says Pellegrini.

“People enjoy a wide range of emotions throughout the play. Connie, the eight-month pregnant maid of honor, will ask people about their kids as well as advice about what to do for swollen ankles.”

So here’s to Tony and Tina’s everlasting love and to the wedding guests who share in their happiness…every night. Bada bing, bada boom!

O.J. Simpson is cooling his heels in the Big House at the Lovelock Correctional Center in Northern Nevada, eating savory “mystery meat” while serving his nine-to-thirty-three-year term for his memorabilia heist that went terribly wrong at Palace Station.  But his house guest back in 1994 when he was charged with killing his wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend, Ronald Goldman, was Kato Kaelin. 

Kaelin, now 50, testified at the 1995 murder trial and his life has been inextricably linked to the former football star ever since. 

Kaelin’s transition from real life reality to acting has been seamless.  He has been a Screen Actors Guild card-carrying member for 22 years.  A year before the killings, he had tested, albeit unsuccessfully, for a part in the film “Dumb and Dumber.”  

After the trial Kaelin was launched into faux stardom, going on a speaking tour and appearing in several TV reality shows and films.   For the past five year he has worked for National Lampoon in Los Angeles developing film projects.

Coming full turn, Kaelin now graces the Planet Hollywood stage in Las Vegas as a wedding crasher in “Tony and Tina’s Wedding.”   His character plays Tony’s house guest for five years, sleeping, fittingly, on the couch.

…is being sent to the Middle East to report on the Israeli/Palestinian conflict?

WHAT?!?

You can read about it here if you want, but the short of it is that a website called PJTV.com is sending Joe the Plumber to Israel as a news correspondent to cover the ongoing war between Palestinians and Israelis.

Christ. I wish I could be a deadbeat nobody and fall assbackwards into a career.

Hey, PJTV! I’m also a nobody! Can you send me to the moon so I can report on what effects gravity has on complete NOBODIES?!?

What makes all of this even more laughable is that Joe the Plumber knows exactly how useless he truly is. Want proof?

During a McCain/Palin campaign rally last October, Joe encountered an elderly Jewish man who stated “…a vote for Obama is a vote for the death to Israel.” Joe replied, “I’ll agree with you on that.”

Then, during a television interview with FOX News later that day, reporter Shepard Smith asked him to  specifically explain his comment. After dancing around a real answer for a bit, Joe finally replied, “Listen, you don’t want my opinion on foreign policy. I know just enough to probably be dangerous.”

And THIS is the guy they’re sending to the Middle East to cover one of the most high-profile conflicts in the history of the world?!?

I can see the coverage now:

“This is Joe the Plumber, live in Jesusville. A lot of brown people are running around, screaming… someone is bleeding… people are shooting guns… more screaming… and, ah…. Can you believe that you can’t get Corona over here? I’m serious! You can’t find that shit anywhere! And it’s especially weird because they make it in Mexico which, if I’m not mistaken, borders one of these terrorist countries.”

Couldn’t they have gotten someone more qualified? Like ANYONE? Was Joan Rivers busy, PJTV? Was Kato Kaelin unavailable? Sheesh!

Who would have thought it would be easier to make Palin disappear than this wretched sap?

Soon to become Joe the Target,

-Shady

If I ran the journalism world, the first thing I would ban would be the “anniversary story.”  Even though I won an LA Press Club Award for this LA Times piece about the Rodney King beating.

Basically, a media ‘anniversary’ is an excuse for journalists to write a little history, bring up some (generally lurid) event from the past or do some “Trivial Pursuit’ style follow-up (where is Kato Kaelin now?!) on half-remembered players. It’s a hook to write something that will get page views or blog hits, requires little actual reporting, and often gives the reporter the chance to play historian, draw parallels to our own time, or better yet, pontificate.

Certain dates are inevitable.  I’m sure November 22 this year (the 45th anniversary of the Kennedy assassination) will bring both memories of that tragic day in Dallas and the death of Camelot, and sober comments on the threats against President-Elect Obama. 

A few guidelines: generally, anniversary dates have to be for events in living memory.  Hence, 9-11 will generate recaps of the events and commentary for at least the next fifty years, but April 14 won’t get much (the date of Abraham Lincoln’s assassination 143 years ago).

Second, round numbers are key.  Like my Princeton reunions or wedding anniversaries, the big ones are 1, 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 40 and 50 years.  Thus, January 28 won’t be an important media anniversary date until 2011, when it will mark 25 years since the Space Shuttle Challenger exploded on January 28, 1986.

Third, ‘if it bleeds, it leads.’  Significant numbers of dead, or the notoriety of the incident, are sufficent reason for ‘celebrating’ the anniversary.

The last few weeks of October and early November have brought major looks back at the Jonestown massacres and even at the murder of Nancy Spungen by Sid Vicious (relived in New York Magazine’s Entertainment Section!), each taking place in 1978, 30 years ago.  Each of these stories fits the “anniversary story” criteria perfectly: In living memory, lurid, and a round number.

A fourth criteria for the anniversary story, importance, is highly subjective and thus easily ignored.  I was surprised and dismayed by the lack of update coverage on Los Angeles 15 years after the LA Riots last year.  And the 70th anniversary of the Nazi pogroms of Kristallnacht, the terror against Jewish homes and businesses that ignited the Holocaust, while commemorated in Germany, received precious little coverage in the U.S..

As George Santayana said, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”  But whether we remember or not, all of us are condemned to a lifetime of anniversary stories from the media.

We’ll meet again, don’t know where, don’t know when,
But I know we’ll meet again, some sunny day.
Keep smiling through, just like you always do,
‘Til the blue skies drive the dark clouds far away.

A jam packed hour + with three headliner guests!

First, Dr. B and Dangerous Lee welcome Kato Kaelin to the show.

Kato, obviously best known as OJ Simpson’s guest house tenant at the time of Nicole Brown Simpson’s and Ronald Goldman’s murder, is now on a Fox Reality Channel reality show, Gimme My Reality Show,  in which he’s competing to have his own reality show.

We’ll find out what he’s been up to since testifying in the original OJ Simpson trial, whether he’s finally got his own place to live and whether being on a reality show to win a reality show may finally signal that they’ve run out of ideas in Hollywood.

Then, speaking of trials, we have a guest who’s presided over plenty of them and won an  Emmy Award for it: Judge Cristina Perez. The stunning host of TV’s Cristina’s Court returns to the Radio Happy Hour to let us know how life has changed since being the first Emmy recipient for a TV court show.

But wait, there’s more!  Radio Jesus brings the #1 New York Times bestselling author of the The Last Patriot, Brad Thor, with him to interview legendary Hollywood producer and writer David Zucker.

The genius behind such classics as Airplane! and Naked Gun will talk about his latest controversial release An American Carol starring Kevin Farley.

All that, plus Vinny Bond returns with his Big Leather Couch to chat live with the listeners, Shawn Amos returns with another GetBack.com Pop Quiz, Justin the Weatherman, the music of Miss Knockout and we’ll take your calls at 646-652-4804.

www.blogtalkradio.com/drblogstein

I’ve moved back into my friend T&T’s place again. Being a near-permanent house guest is a drag… but I’m lucky I’ve got good friends who are willing to put me up (and put up with me) in their lovely homes. It does make you feel a bit aimless, though, to not have your own home. I mean, was there ever a couch-surfer who accomplished a lot during his or her couch-surfing days?

I skipping my French class today—naughty me—so I can focus on finding images I like for my next video. Now that’s exciting.

Okay, I’m a tad dissappointed. I just found out that O.J. Simpson had his trial, and I missed it.

Yep, I wanted to watch it. Badly.

You see, back in 1995, my second job was to watch the Trial of the Century. Every day (virtually every day) I was glued to the televsion watching the all-star cast: Johnnie Cochrane, Marsha Clark, Chris Darden, Kato Kaelin, Judge Ito, Robert Shapiro, Barry Scheck, F. Lee Bailey, etc. 

For me, that trial was beyond fascinating. It embodied all the features of most great films — drama, action, comedy, mystery, suspense, even horror at times.

I’ll admit it. I was addicted to the trial. So much so that when the verdict came down and the trial was over, a piece of my daily routine was missing.

That’s when I started writing books. Just kidding

Okay, so when I heard that Mr. Simpson was arrested a year ago on robbery charges, I made a mental note to be sure to watch the trial.

But that never happened. Why? Because I’ve heard nothing about it until today . . .  and what I heard is that it’s over.

What’s up? How did I miss this? Was I the only one who didn’t know about it?

Deep sigh . . .

Uh, this is all I want to hear about OJ during September and October of 2007…

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You got it… Silence.
Now if someone can invent the TV, radio, internet filter that screens hype stories…Hmmm

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