“With the will to work hard and a library card,
He took a homemade, fan blade, one-man submarine ride.”

It’s not true.

The song’s called Walt Grace’s Submarine Test, January 1967 and, while no such man crops up in history books, countless men and women have done what this fictional character did in Mr Mayer’s imaginings.

They accomplished the impossible.

“His wife told his kids he was crazy,
And his friends said he’d fail if he tried…”

Success stories spring from those who dare to question the status quo.

I watched a sad documentary recently called The Truth About Child Brides, focusing in particular on the illegal but prolific custom of marrying girls off as young as six in countries like India. The girls, usually married to adult men, fall pregnant at the age when girls here would be starting high school. Their bodies, not yet developed, suddenly have to allow for a developing baby. Many die in childbirth. If they live, many will be incontinent for the rest of their lives due to the damage of labour on a child’s frame.

These girls are little more than possessions.

But there was one who stood up to her family when they arranged for her marriage. She refused. She threatened to report them to the police. She insisted they allow her to finish her education.

“ ‘Cause when you’re done with this world
You know the next is up to you…”

Since she made her stand, there have been no child marriages in that girl’s village and every child, male and female, has had the opportunity to complete their education.

“How does that make you feel, knowing that you are responsible for changing the future of all these girls,” the interviewer asked.
She just smiled, shy yet unmistakably proud.

Too often we believe the lie that the evils of our world are too big to handle.

The US gun laws are too entrenched to change – a lie. Australia did it, so can the US.

Poverty will always be part of life – a lie. World leaders committed to halving extreme poverty by 2015 and we are well on the way to achieving that.

Abortion is a good choice for struggling mothers – a lie. Studies are proving that it is far better for the mother’s health to keep her child (see Priscilla Coleman’s 2011 study). Yet 80,000-100,000 abortions are performed in Australia every year.

These are big problems but change starts with one person.

I know someone else who took a stand. From as young as 13 Jesus was busy questioning the accepted norms. He brought the hierarchy to account, he queried meaningless rituals and he was a voice for children, the poor, the broken and the suffering. Jesus altered world culture in such a way that we are still acknowledging him today.

Like Jesus, we have opportunities every day to swim against the tide of modern evils.

“Now his friends bring him up when they’re drinking
At the bar with his name on the side…”

You may not get a pub named after you like old Walt Grace, but courage is a fertile thing. One courageous act begets another and before we know it there’s an uprising, a movement, a revolution. And history is made.

As printed in The Examiner Newspaper for Keeping the Faith column, Monday January 7, 2013.

Grief had touched so many people in our congregation last year.

One young man said he was thankful for God’s faithfulness through the loss of his sister.

One woman was thankful despite the loss of a dear friend through terminal illness – who died one day before she returned from overseas.

Another was thankful for her daughter, even though she did not live beyond the womb. She was so thankful for that little life and the promise of holding her one day in heaven.

A man approached the microphone and shared a similar story – that he and his wife had lost a son in 2012 and the first thing they did was drop to their knees and thank God for what they did have.

As I sat there in the pew I was a bit surprised. Here was an opportunity to share what we are most thankful for, and practically every person spoke of sadness. Sadness and thankfulness linking arms. I was reminded of something Kahlil Gibran once said, “When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”

I guess these people, despite painful situations, had been able to recognise such delight and be thankful, even when it had been taken from them.

And one man got up there and told how his friends lost their house a few days ago, devoured by the fires at Dunalley. Parents to five kids. Their parents also lost their house. Suddenly everything they owned was on their backs. But when the guy from my church spoke to them in the hours afterwards, this is what they said: “God hasn’t let us down yet”.

Thankfulness is a funny thing. You would think that the folks with the most are more able to attain that thankful heart. But loss hones our perspective just like fire refines gold.

Lamentations is a book believed to have been written by Jeremiah who experienced great torment. “My splendour is gone and all that I hoped from the Lord,” he writes in chapter 3:18. But a few verses later he turns his focus, giving us encouragement in our own suffering; “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness” (3:22-23).

Jeremiah took his attitude hostage and turned sorrow to thanks.

Thank you to all those who shared their stories of loss. Thank you for showing how thankfulness helped you overcome sorrow. The service yesterday finished with a song by Matt Redman called 10,000 Reasons. This verse was pertinent. I couldn’t sing the words for the knot in my throat:

The sun comes up, it’s a new day dawning
It’s time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes.

Praying that those affected by the fires find new reasons to sing.

Support those Tasmanians now without a home by donating to Red Cross here.

As printed in The Examiner Newspaper for Keeping the Faith column on Monday January 7, 2013. 

I am no longer sure if this will go full steam ahead… nevertheless, I will continue blogging.

But today, I would like to blog about something somber. You may say it has nothing to do with babies, parenting, but from another perspective, it also has loads to do with that – keeping a family together, sustaining a relationship.

At the end of the day, what keeps a relationship going on, is not endless passion. Because passion will run out. It is how much you care for the other person, for you to be willing to put in the effort (until one day, you ask yourself, what else can I put in?) and make things work. Do you care and/or love enough, to want to make things work out? Do you have the same goal – to build a future together?

Quarrels are inevitable in a relationship. It is about two human beings getting along with each other, so pray tell, why and how will there not be disagreements? But when parties refuse to work out the problems together, and refuse to learn to give and take, that’s when the cracks will appear.

Always bear this in mind (a remark that my friend made in the past but which struck a chord within me): There will be bad patches. A couple is meant to stick through the good and bad times. It is not that easy to meet someone you care about and who cares about you. It is not easy to meet someone you can be with.

I sincerely believe, up till now, that if you want something or someone enough, you will do something about it. And I would end this post by encouraging all couples, to work through your problems. What exactly is wrong with your partner/the relationship that makes you decide you’ve had enough? If it is only minor issues, work through them. Don’t shove everything under the carpet. Because these problems will blow up in your face.

I don’t profess to be the best at dishing out advice. But it’s sad to see relationships fail and couples breaking up. It’s fine and dandy if the cause of it is because one party has had a change of heart. But when the breakup is because of quarrels/disagreements…do give it a good think. How much does that person mean to you?

And I would sign off here by wishing everyone the best.

Love,
Hejbaby

1. I completed a new manuscript and sent out a batch of queries.
2. For the most part, I enjoyed life much more.

There were several factors that went into the successful completion of #2, and I have to thank my rheumatologist first and foremost for helping me feel SO MUCH BETTER. Seriously, once my arthritis was under control and my pain was gone, it made a world of difference in my happiness, energy, and all-around attitude!

I also did my fair share of one of my favorite activities in 2012: traveling! Within the year, I managed to squeeze in trips to Austin, TX for a pitch conference with Jess; Wilmington, NC with my BFF, Sara; a trip to see Phish 4 nights in a row in Noblesville, IN & Alpine Valley, WI with Will, Tara, & Bill; NYC with my mom to see Madonna; DC to see Madonna for a second time with Sara; Atlanta with my boss & lovely coworker, Hayley, for market; AND another trip to NYC to ring in the new year with Phish and great friends.

Apart from traveling, I also did something else exciting in 2012: I graduated and received my MFA from Hollins! 

I may not have read nearly as much as I hoped to this past year and I obviously didn’t follow up with my resolution to blog more, but I’m hoping to fix that in 2013. Hey, better late than never, right?

*Switching gears, let’s go back to #1: yes, I did complete a manuscript and yes, I have queried it. However, I think I’m going to fine-tune it a bit more. But I’m still really proud of it and myself for bringing it to fruition! It’s a great feeling.

Now, let’s talk goals for 2013:

Apart from maintaining my previous goals of reading more and blogging more, I also hereby challenge myself to:

1. Finish a first draft of a new project as well as continue to edit my previous one.
2. Not sweat the small stuff anymore.
3. Keep my desk area/work space organized. (Seriously, this’ll probably be the hardest resolution for me to follow. Just ask my husband.)
4. Stay in better contact with my close friends. Sure, we’re all busy, but I want to put forth more of an effort to stay in the loop with my buddies this year! Especially my weasels.

I could keep going, but to be realistic, I’m stopping there.

Cheers to each of you in 2013! Happy reading, writing, traveling, and anything else you may enjoy! May the new year treat you well.

2013 Shuffle

Opening credits: Walking along the high tide line, watching the pacific from the sidelines, wonder what it means to live together, looking for more than just guidelines…

Waking up: The dawn is breaking, a light shining through, you’re barely waking, and I’m tangled up in you…

How I’m feeling today: I have been a wayward child, I have acted out, I have questioned Sovereignty and had my share of doubts…

First day of school: Do you see me? Do you care? You talk about me like I’m not there…

The weekend: I’ll be back tomorrow, I’ll be back in the ballroom swingin’… 

Will I get far in life: I need love, love, ooo, ease my mind, and I need to find time, someone to call mine…

Will I get married: Now go stand in the corner and think about what you’ve done…

Will I have a happy life: I was young but I wasn’t naive, and I watched helpless as you turned around to leave…

How does the world see me: It’s the first time I ever felt this lonely…

How do my friends see me: We’re both looking for something we’ve been afraid to find, it’s easier to be broken, it’s easier to hide…

Falling in love: Sometimes the snow comes down in June, sometimes the sun goes ’round the moon…

Fight song: Am I at the point of no improvement? What of the death I still dwell in?

Breaking up: Don’t remind me that some days I’m a windshield, and other days I’m just a lucky bug…

The best thing about my friends: Code monkey get up, get coffee…

Best friend’s theme song: Stabat mater dolorosa…

High school overview: Ready to go… You’re weird, in tears, too near and too far away…

Life: I’ll sing it one last time for you, then we really have to go…

Mental breakdown: I’m comin’ ’round to open up the blinds…

How can I make myself happy: I looked away, then I looked back at you, you try to say the things that you can’t undo…

Driving: Oh, tragedy has taken so many…

Flashback: Did you hear about the deaf girl, the one who sang a silent song…

How is my life going: I remember the nights I watched as you lay sleeping…

What I should do with my life: He was a boy, she was a girl, can I make it any more obvious..

How can I get ahead in life: People smile and tell me I’m the lucky one…

Getting back together: If you’re the bird whenever we pretend it’s summer, and I’m the worm…

Wedding: Summer days are gone too soon, you shoot the moon and miss completely…

Will I ever have children: Been workin’ so hard, I’m punchin’ my card…

Birth of child: It’s 3 am as I stumble over to my bed…

Final battle: S’ya na ba ang bago mo, s’ya na ba ngayon ay kapalit ko…

Death scene: Christopher Robin and I walked along under branches lit up by the moon..

Funeral song: Be still, my beating heart, it would be better to be cool…

Life overview: You’re not alone, together we stand…

End credits: You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar…

Status Check

January

• deliberately puncturing balloons with a red-handled steak knife is a perfectly lovely way to end a night and begin a new year.
• mother’s word of the day [courtesy of aisa]: prink
  aisa’s word of the day [courtesy of the fridge magnets]: miasma
• best. night-before-school. ever.
• RAWR. it’s too early to be at victory parkway campus.
• I FOUND IT!!!!!! Michelle JohnsonNate Eckman ”People say Luke is the hero, I argue that Vader is the true hero. While Vader is desperately trying to win back his long lost son, Luke is just fighting his anger back and waiting for a time to attack his father. While Vader is the head of a huge empire uniting the galaxy in peace, Luke is part of a rebellion attempting to destroy that peace and FOR WHAT? They both grew up in a smuggler’s haven so don’t even try that one. Vader went to the dark side to try to save his love, Luke just fights because he’s told to and then makes out with his sister. Luke complains and cries when he gets his hand cut off, Vader just mourns for his lost love when he looses HIS WHOLE BODY. Now seriously, who’s the real hero?” – Nate Eckman
• finally made it back to the sidewinder =) missing Martha.
• word of the day: palaver. i’ve been meaning to look that up for almost a year now.
• halfway done with homework. slightly bored. took a break and did some calculations. i was driving roughly 277 miles per week last quarter. Stef Ofhfs
• wouldn’t that be a great prank? put “UNNATURAL” on a bottle of drinking water and see what happens? StephaunSarahSethMegan
• hah. hah. haha. [part of] what i learned at church tonight from the guys [for guys] –> dating != hunting; dating :: fishing <– my abbreviated version
• “ATI AISA, WE DOIN’ TO CHUWCH! IT TIME TO WATE UP!” – Nino =) Happy Birthday, Mommy Stef :D
• I saw them and I knew them all. And yet / Dauntless the slug-horn to my lips I set, / And blew. “Childe Roland to the Dark Tower came.”
• i object.
• post-fifteen minute advisor meeting –> ais has to kill time till 11. to go or not to go to MCI? and boo, i have a class on the medical campus today… too much walking… why…
• it’s january, and i’m sitting outside for lunch. win.
• ~ vinegar –> acetic acid –> CH₃COOH –> charlie the choo choo ~ guess what time it is and where i am… Sarahour new classroom is so warm!!!!
• here we go… white roux vs brown roux –> hydrolysis… yay food science :D :D SarahStephen you guys missed out on virtual experiments…
• … Exactly what does breed insanity is reason. Poets do not go mad; but chess-players do. Mathematicians go mad, and cashiers; but creative artists very seldom…
• ♥ Aaron ♥ Nate ♥ Chelsea ♥ ya’ll made my day =) thank you.
• so i got to go swing dancing after all =) what a super friday night ^_^ mGbp
• Will you leave yourself behind if I but call your name? Will you care for cruel and kind and never be the same? Will you risk the hostile stare should your life attract or scare? Will you let Me answer prayer in you and you in Me?
• wow, ang labo… >.<
• Seth maintained his boyish looks because Megan (the antioxidant) did her duty and prevented ais (oxygen) from stealing seth’s electron. BOOM.
• first [and second] sidebar with brad and steve since… like… april. *inexpressibly comforted*
• AmberMarybeth level 1 is april 9-10; i think my birthday should include a couple hours of flash cards xD
• today in food chem, we are water molecules!! we’re running around, attaching and reattaching to each other while trying to cross the room to illustrate translational movement =D
• did you know that 50% of asians aren’t born with the enzymes necessary to process alcohol? hence the flush. this is the conversation that is prompted by my bringing FRE merlot and white zin to class. LOL.
• “Ice takes up- not you, ais; ICE- ice takes up more space than liquid water.” what a lolfest.
• To all whose prayers kept me from losing my head (and my life) in that 360 I did on Beckett, among other smaller incidents, I am truly grateful. I sincerely hope that your drive home was significantly less eventful than mine.
• i’m sorry, but dante alighieri has a really sickening sense of humor in some areas.
• ugghhhhh we’re being told to visualize a snake pit at different temperatures to illustrate glass transitional temperature and translational motion vs. segmental motion. *shudders*
• [1st] word of the day –> immiscible – incapable of being mixed
• i’m so messy and distracted, undisciplined and tactless, here on the inside / i thought that age would tell the secrets, but the secrets are still secret, and the years are passing by / my soul’s screaming out to be found in You…
• CCM Winter Choral Showcase tomorrow! 4pm, Corbett, box office opens at 3, free to all UC students ^_^ wish us luck :D
• … remember that all worlds draw to an end and that noble death is a treasure which no one is too poor to buy…
• started off my lunch break with a sidebar with stevo, killing time here till 3:10. it’s a perfectly gorgeous day to be home again at MCI.
• http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6gpwpRv7gQAlvinTricky Chris want to cover at some point
• HAHAHAHAHA skip to #5 Stef Ofhfshttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxbTHKQm00g&feature=related

February

• project 1 complete! how’s everyone doing? StephaunSethMeganKayla
• ♫ which to bury, us or the hatchet –> let it all out –> who i am hates who i’ve been ♫
• day 99 was about as fantastic as it could be, for many reasons, but i’m going to say that the #1 reason that today was awesome was because somebody amazing fed me braised pork chops for lunch and gave me the best hug ever ^_^
• BLAHHH i’m wide awake and i’ve taken my shower and packed up all my stuff and it’s only 7:34 and breakfast isn’t until 8!!! not cool, man, not cool.
• looking for a color in a shade of gray… looking for love in a drop of rain… a day without you is a thousand years… a day without you is a million tears…
• monday night =) wassail + phantom of the opera ♥
• BradStephanieSteveJayJulzMiguelJoeBenderThomasurbandictionary.com, search “sidebar”
• CincyShakes’ Sense and Sensibility on 3/11!!!! Perfectly delightful way to precede finals week =)
• “baby, come back” is stuck in my head and it is all. jason’s. fault. better than yards’ “super bass,” i suppose.
• i’m craving balut. i want to go to louisville. >.<
• i’m sorry i ever tried, didn’t you know love could shine this bright? if love was a game, you would never play nice, and if love was a beam then i’d be blind in both eyes…
• trying to decide what to cover for st. valentine’s day. suggestions, please? ~ no promises :P ~
• Happy St. Valentine’s Day, all =)
• Chef Yek was kind enough to cancel class due to weather, and so it seemed that Valentine’s Day morning would be spent studying orgo… but 10ish pages in and I’m caving. Some LotR before heading to work, I think.
• o kay bilis namang maglaho ng pag-ibig mo, sinta, daig mo pa ang isang kisapmata…
• “Mordor, Gandalf; is it left or right?” ^_^
• “Those without swords can still die upon them.”
• “Shall I describe it to you? Or would you like me to find you a box?”
• http://standupforreligiousfreedom.com/locations/
• “The old wisdom borne out of the West was forsaken. Kings made tombs more splendid than the houses of the living, and counted the old names of their descent dearer than the names of their sons…”
• “We cannot defeat the armies of Morder.” “No. We cannot. But we will meet them in battle nonetheless.” *shivers*
• “Certainty of death… small chance of success… what are we waiting for?” :D :D
• missing our minimalist lifestyle in Italy >.<
• FAT TUESDAY. excellent day for lecture on ˚Bx and watching youtube vids on sugar. orgo exam at 11, then lunch with Stephanie =D
• goodnight, facebook =) ’til sunday.
• … and the BMX bike of my life is about to explode…
• … I feel helpless for the most part, but I’m learning to open my eyes, and the sad truth of the matter is, I’ll never get over it, but I’m gonna try to get better and overcome each moment in my own way, I so wanna get back on track, and I’ll do whatever it takes…

March

• http://youtu.be/1YhqRx7xzdoMaria Teresa Angela Kamara
• 0024 ~ home from day 121. finals AND restaurant week. YIKES. buuuutttt… S&S with SHoJ mommies and respective daughters in a few hours :D dinner with Stephanie andSteve and Matt and Martha on monday :D senior presentations on tuesday :D and to top it all off, Josh andEmily‘s wedding on Saturday :D :D :D BOOM. so hyperrrrrrrr
• Josh and Emily‘s wedding on St. Patrick’s day. Lovely end to a loooong week AND the beginning of Spring Break!!!!!!!! Oh SNAP.
• “You can’t eat any strawberries until you change into a baby.” – Nino to Migi xD LOL
• ♥ heal my heart and make it clean, open up my eyes to the things unseen, show me how to love like You have loved me, break my heart for what breaks Yours, everything i am for Your kingdom’s cause, as i walk from earth into eternity ♥
• ElvinMatthewGabeKarmelaCandissePaco how’s this for oldschool http://youtu.be/p7i4DMQuobI

April

• It’s Palm Sunday!!!! I was born on Palm Sunday. =)
• ♥ BUONA PASQUA ♥
• BAH. too long till the next pacquiao fight. one needs to happen before i head to MI.
• RAWR i’m having phone probs again… it was on to wake me this morning, and between then and the time i got to CState, it decided to turn off and won’t turn on again… Josh Monroe
• homework tonight consisted of eight bottles of wine, a block of white cheddar, multiple glasses of water, and one last brownie. i shall sleep well tonight, but i *am* honestly glad and very thankful that not all homework is this fun. oh, i get to wear a red neckerchief tomorrow! BOOM. =)
• No one at home in Receiving, snagged a locker behind The Summit kitchen, watching the cars on I-75 from Bakery Hill, waiting for the summons to begin a long and grueling two days… hopefully I’ll have a pin to show for it at the end of it all :D
• Flight tasting #1 at 8:30 in the morning, Chablis and Shiraz, lectures on viniculture/viticulture, French wine laws, and Burgundy. Currently on a 20 minute break…
• Flight tasting #2 at 11:15am: Albarino, new world Chardonnay, Brunello di Montalcino, and a 50/50 Merlot/Cab Sauv from Bordeaux. Lecture on Champagne and sparkling wines. Currently on lunch break in 033 with two awesome Kuyas =)
• Flight tasting #3 at 1:40: classic Riesling from Rheingau, new world Pinot Gris, classic Cab Sauv, and a textbook [red] Zin. Lectures on Bordeaux, the Loire, the Rhone, and Alsace. Break again and I missed a good sidebar by 10, 15ish minutes. BOTHER. =)
• Flight tasting #4 at 3:20: classic Italian Pinot Grigio, Chenin Blanc from Vouvray, Gevrey-Chambertin Pinot Noir, and a Barolo which almost made me cry (Barolo, Italy Stef Ofhfs). Lectures on Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, US wine law, CA, OR, WA, and NY. End Day 1. ♥ MCI LOVE ♥
• FIVE HUNDRED AND SIXTY FLASH CARDS. BOOM. … this better work…
• IT’S SO HARD TO STUDY WHEN ALL THESE CANDIDATES ARE CHIT CHATTING AROUND ME!!! lol. retreat to the locker room…
• Flight tasting #5 at 8am: Châteauneuf-du-Pape blanc, classic Sauv Blanc from Marlborough, Anderson Valley Pinot Noir, and another Châteauneuf-du-Pape. The perfectly wonderful news is that I know Sauv Blanc from a single whiff, and the not-so-wonderful news is that I really have determined that I detest Sauv Blanc =) Lectures on Italy, and Germany. Currently on a 15-min break in Jay’s office.
• Flight tasting #6 at 10:30am: Torrontes, Viognier, Tempranillo, and Malbec. Lectures on Austria, Hungary, Greece, Portugal, and fortified wines, namely Port, Madeira, and Sherry. Standing around in 010 waiting for Matt to finish cooking an absolutely delicious lunch which includes gnocchi =)
• Test completed, had a nice chat with Chef Coltrane, waiting for results… AAAAARRRGGGHHH!!!! lol. Waiting is not my thing, man.
• “Don’t fire until you see through the fragile facade to the human being within.”
• i passed =) now to study for level II next year!!!
• http://macbethsopinion.blogspot.com/2012/04/hilary-rosen-offends-all-female-humans.html
• learning about the incredible acid tolerance of salmonella. how encouraging…
• VBNC = Viable But NonCulturable <– scary stuff, man. how are we still alive?!!?
• So so soooo much to look forward to in the next two weeks!!!! Migi‘s Confirmation, Theology on Tap begins, Dead Theologians’ Society also recommences, 1 Night 12 Kitchens, registration for Fall Semester, a plant trip to Frisch’s R&D facility, another Culinology Club meeting… God is so good =)
• too funnyhttp://patrickvandapool.com/2012/03/30/unity-by-clarity/
• aaaaannddddd these are great xP hahahahttp://patrickvandapool.com/free-propaganda/
• home from day 137… only 3 days left for me. insane.
• HAHAHAHA sorry Michelle for some reason this was just the greatest xkcd i’ve seen in a whilehttp://xkcd.com/1042/ i am being consumed by a fit of giggles and i cannot explain it. perhaps it is merely exhaustion. :D P >.< xD
• counting down the daysssssss to Theology on Tappppp :D :D :D
• ~ toast + goat cheese + chai w/honey ~ it’s the simple things ~
• It occurred to me as I was going through old dance dresses that I sincerely hope that Yena is small enough to fit into Mother’s prom dress when she gets to that age, because I was not when it was my time, and Mom’s dress was beautiful. I was sad. Along those same lines, I don’t know whether to hope that I can pass on my own dresses one day, or if I should not wish my still relatively shorter stature on the following generation.
• bread staling faster in fridge = starch retrogradation <– now i sound smart… xD lol.
• Yep, that’s right, kids, I am unofficially chaperoning at the AMHEA prom this year… xP
• last wednesday at work… oh. my. gosh. let’s do this.
• Seth KaufmanMegan KauffmanStephaun RauschKayla Distlerhttp://townhall.com/tipsheet/helenwhalencohen/2012/02/15/preschoolers_homemade_lunch_taken_away_because_it_isnt_healthy_enough
• !!!!! http://www.movietickets.com/movie_detail.asp?movie_id=133623 !!!!!!
• Jay, we just finished lecture on pectin, now i can explain to peaches why the “apple” in front of “pectin” is of no consequence and why Thomas was (is) completely right :P lol.
• Stephaun, looking to complete concert assignments on… 4/28 and 5/8, backup 6/1. yes, no?
• TODAY… 18/20 on a quiz at 0730am. not bad. food chem, no work, found a dress but no price tag = no sale. waste of a good hour. got home, decided to revert to dressmaking/modification. not too shabby. played frisbee and took a walk in the park with some awesome Catholics. pics to come. was supposed to be an hour, but it turned out to be two. wednesdays from now on look like they’ll be more than good enough prep for summer on a farm =)
• ElizabethAlanChrisMarv we should totally do some geocaching one of these wednesdays.
• it has been an absolutely beautiful day and it promises to continue so. guitar class (Stephaun, where were you), last thursday of prep, currently having an in-class review for our food microbiology exam 1 next week (Seth, where art thou…), aaaaandddd off to ToT after class =D la vita e bella.
• culinary people, check this out - https://armour-eckrich-ats.silkroad.com/epostings/index.cfm?fuseaction=app.jobinfo&jobid=304993&company_id=15816&source=ONLINE&JobOwner=1013884&bycountry=0&bystate=0&bylocation&keywords=internship&byCat&tosearch=yes
• ♥ ToT LOVE ♥ with Meaghan Lamers, Elizabeth Munoz, Alan Herdzik
• There were ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTEEN PEOPLE at Theology on Tap Cinci tonight =) ~ MGBP ~
• response courtesy of Fr. Pontifex -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ru_tC4fv6FEto http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IAhDGYlpqYMeaghan LamersElizabeth Munoz
• Home from day 139. It ends tomorrow.
• last night at Daveed’s. seven weeks to MI. bring it on.
• goodbye hugs are so bittersweet. ♥ Jared ♥ Sami ♥ Bob ♥Anna ♥ Amanda ♥ Matt ♥ Garry ♥ Doug ♥ Higgins ♥
• http://youtu.be/2bN1WFt21-0
• OH. MY. GOSH. HILLSONG UNITED IS RECORDING AGAIN ♥ ♥ ♥
• Stef Ofhfs Audrey Assad’s going to be at Rohs Street Cafe on May 19th!!!!
• deleting “work” from my calendar for the next seven weeks feels soooo weird…
• * everything ~ lifehouse * on loop
• Prosperidad AmargoStef OfhfsPaco Josemaria PBlade WielderBong OfhfsAlvin AmargoReena Yap AmargoTricky Chris my breaks of significant length in the coming school year are… 12/16 – 1/6 and 4/28 – 5/5
• Sisters!!! check this outttt - http://dignitasmagazine.com/
• culinologists studying for an exam:”I know all of the names and I can spell all of them except for the one that starts with an E and I can’t even pronounce it… like eshesherichia?” “You just have to slur it like you’re drunk.”"What are the three kinds of mold?” ~10 minutes later ~ “… Ascomycota, Deuteromycota, Zygomycota. ADZ.” “ADZ… deutero… wait, what was A again?” “Think Deuteronomy like in the Bible.” “Yeah, I got that one, that was the one I connected with.”
• “In 7000 BC, God created beer.” “I am writing that down.” “Maybe I’ll get extra points for it.”i ♥ my culinology classmates xD
• ~ i’m miles and miles from where you are / maybe the hardest things are the dreams that we’ve been given ~
• oooooo FIELD TRIP AT 7 IN THE MORNING SethMeganKaylaStephaun today is not a good day to be operating on a sleepless night. testing an anti-energy drink last night may not have been a bad idea… joking, joking. *sigh* see you all in a bit…
• time to do some major catching up on sleep… the next four days are going to be INSANE.
• Today’s agenda: guitar class, OVIFT expo, Theology on Tap. 15-ish hour day.
  Friday: 8-hour baking lab, Dead Theologians Society. 16-ish hours.
  Saturday: concert assignment, beer brewing stuffs, AMHEA prom. Potentially 19-ish hours with possibly one short nap.
  Sunday: Mass, 1 Night 12 Kitchens. 14-ish hours. Not too shabby.
• Lovely, lovely Thursday night out with ♥ Michelle ♥ Eric ♥Aaron ♥ Elizabeth ♥ Alan ♥ Grazie mille =)
• near-midnight snack: balut, green tea mochi ice cream, spaghetti puttanesca. now for five hours of [attempting to] sleep…
• ginataan for breakfast :D happy happy belly.
• back at beloved MCI for an 8-hour lab =D ♥
• Matt AND Stevo are here to-day!!!!! ais happy.
• Stef Ofhfs spelt sugar cookies are YUMMY
• Sami Stephanie Bob Jared will i see any of you at 1 Night 12 Nightmares?
• twelve teenagers kneeling at St. Jude’s and praying a decade of the rosary before proceeding to enjoy themselves at prom was a sight to see and a blessing to witness =) God is good.
• what happens in Waking Rose is no joke or sick fantasy…
• songs currently stuck in my head thanks to last night: Life is a Highway, Dancing Away with My Heart, Deer in the Headlights…
• ♥ 1 NIGHT 12 KITCHENS @ The Midwest Culinary Institute at Cincinnati State ♥
• if you need a laugh today, or any day, here is my absolutely adorable sister to help out :D -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8efxxOUNTU
• It’s only been nineteen days and I’ve already got 267 more flash cards… Marybeth Amber #imustbeinsane

May

• lecture before midterm = >.<
• GLUCURONOARABINOXYLANS!!!!!!! …
• food chem II midterm… 3 hours of catch-up time with kuya ♥ … laundry… dancing with nino ♥ … off to take a walk in the park with some awesome Catholics xD
• done prepping for tomorrow… what a long day… i should probably sleep? but i feel like watching some kill bill first.
• dear Sami-girl,please imagine me making a white-franzia-was-on-sale-at-jungle-jim’s-and-i-have-no-idea-why-i-stopped-to-stare-at-it face.thank you,
  aiswinep.s. i also stared at the magnetic strip dedicated to shun knives and pointed at their respective preferences and said quietly to myself, “jared. ricky bobby. jason.”
• RAWR i want my chai soy latte to hurry up and cool down so that i can drink it and be awake for class :P lol. good morning from MCI ♥ =)
• not even 9 am and i already got hugs from Marybeth andSteve =) i is happy :D
• bleh.
• =) home in st. louis, with my titos/lolos, re-watching margarito vs. pacquiao ♥ pumped for mayweather vs. cotto. it is a gorgeous saturday night.
• OH SNAP. pacquiao marathon!!!! currently watching pacquiao vs. hatton and enjoying a blackberry witbier =)
• NOOOOOO PACQUIAO VS BRADLEY ON 6/9 >.< i’m gonna be on the road…
• MAYWEATHER VS. COTTO. BRING IT.
• best round yet…
• … back from the dead of winter / back from the dead and all our leaves are dry / you’re so beautiful tonight / back from the dead we went through / back from the dead and both our tongues are tied / you look beautiful tonight / but every seed dies before it grows / breathe it in and let it go / every breath you take is not your to own / it’s not yours to hold…
• … back from the dead of winter / back from the dead and all our leaves are dry / you’re so beautiful tonight / back from the dead we went through / back from the dead and both our tongues are tied / you look beautiful tonight / but every seed dies before it grows / breathe it in and let it go / every breath you take is not your to own / it’s not yours to hold…
• http://news.yahoo.com/horrifyingly-ground-baby-pills-real-thing-122643765.html
• http://www.statesman.com/news/nation/skorea-finds-smuggled-capsules-contain-human-flesh-2343509.html
• “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.” – C.S. Lewishttp://www.ncregister.com/daily-news/pornography-is-for-cowards
• so, i’ve discovered a student lounge on the 2nd floor of the science building on VPC. they have a couch. scratch that. they have multiple couches. i really want to go take a nap. maybe i will, instead of sitting here in the so-called cafeteria area and being conscious of how loud my gulps of iced tea might actually be Josh Monroe
• just sitting around chit-chatting about making cottage cheese at home. love school. love love love it. lol.
• Classical Guitar Ensemble in PCT with Stephaun Rausch. I have officially mentally noted that I will never marry a classical guitarist because the long nails on the right hand freaks me out to no end. It’s. Just. Wrong.
• speaking at ToT Cinci this thursday =) -http://thatstrangestofwars.com/about/
• so… i’m tempted to sell the ibanez (the 12-string, case and all) and buy an ovation. i would highly welcome thoughts on the subject, esp from certain guitar-playing kuyas and uncles…
• ♥ motion city + death cab ♥
• will be missing Meaghan at Theology on Tap tonight, but hoping she’s having a great time on tour =) and it makes this week’s seat-saving a little easier for Elizabeth, Alan, and myself. lol.
• drove around mt. adams for a bit. not really sure why. back in the vpc lounge if any of you culinology peeps get here early. i object to the presence of a pool table and the lack of everything else necessary to play. time for a nap.
• Elizabeth Alan Meaghanour speaker next thursday -http://www.patheos.com/blogs/badcatholic/
• the “warm tomato soup voice,” man…
• four weeks to michigan. third friday at MCI, and somehow He always wills the people i least expect but most hope to see to be here. two MCI fridays left. He is so good =)
• bonfire + hot dogs + s’mores + yuengling + guitar + perfectly lovely people = :DHappy Birthday, Catherine!!!! ♥
• *Nino hugging Ate*
  me: Are you going to miss me?
  *Nino nods into Ate’s shoulder*
  me: Yeah?
  Nino: Are you doin to Missidan?
  me: Yes. Four weeks.
  Nino: O-tay.
• happy mommy’s day =) to all my tita mommies and ninang mommies and ate mommies and mommy friends, and most especially to ♥ Stef ♥ and ♥ Prosperidad ♥
• she’s going to be in cinci this saturday!!!! :D :Dhttp://youtu.be/RYuGuxr7MB0
• finished baking hw in exactly 1 hour. BOOM. StephaunMegan Seth Kayla
• 3.5 weeks to go and all my packing-thoughts have gone towards books and practically nothing else… !!! ooops.
• alright ninong Alvin, here’s one back at’cha for the sound fixx’ssss, and for tita Reena =)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afb4A8SppmQ
• pinay mommy WIN http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ArN1NZKaqA&feature=g-vrec
• Type this in Google Translate:pv zk bschk pv zk pv bschk zk pv zk bschk pv zk pv bschk zk bschk pv bschk bschk pv kkkkkkkkkk bschk bschk bschk pv zk bschk pv zk pv bschk zk pv zk bschk pv zk pv bschk zk bschk pv bschk bschk pv kkkkkkkkkk bschk bschk bschk pv zk bschk pv zk pv bschk zk pv zk bschk pv zk pv bschk zk bschk pv bschk bschk pv kkkkkkkkkk bschk bschk bschk pv zk bschk pv zk pv bschk zk pv zk bschk pv zk pv bschk zk bschk pv bschk bschk pv kkkkkkkkkk bschk bschk bschk pv zk bschk pv zk pv bschk zk pv zk bschk pv zk pv bschk zk bschk pv bschk bschk pv kkkkkkkkkk bschk bschk bschkthen choose “from German” and click on listen as seen below:
• ‘ey… pH of coke is the same as straight-up lemon juice. who knew?
• “If the March For Life was a march of human beings who saw other human beings as normalizing and legalizing the murder of infants, there would be cars burning in the street… there is no protest in the present age. There is only representation. There is no foolish human action. There is only the support of abstractions. Infants are being killed — we follow the lines the police allow us to follow.”^ — from Marc Barnes, who will be speaking at Flipdaddy’s on Wooster Pike at 7:30pm tonight. Come join us for dinner and a drink and check it out.
• *completely blown away by Marc Barnes*
• last 8-hour baking lab. today’s variables: milk and chocolate.
• got to see Sylvia and Victoria @ Audrey Assad & Neulore =) perfectly lovely way to end a week. ~ lift up your head / Love is on the way / and He won’t pass you by / you just gotta reach out your hand ~
• muaha. shoutout to ToT Cinci on Marc Barnes’ latest post. #lokireferencewin #insidejokehttp://www.patheos.com/blogs/badcatholic/2012/05/your-move-obama.html
• 2.5 weeks and counting…
• watching Bottle Shock on the roof of the VPC cafeteria. lol.
• Cory Courtney Martha Josh Anthony will i see any of you tonight at the scholars/scholarship ceremony?
• to anyone who tries to call or text me – phone is currently on “emergency phone calls only” and has been for the past two hours. no idea what’s up…
• slipped in and out of cooking 10 tonight… and realized driving home that many of the people i said goodbye to, i’ll never have any decent reason to expect to see again ever in my life… guess it’s a good thing i didn’t think of it while i was there.
• LAST THEOLOGY ON TAP SESSION TONIGHT. *sob*
• Seth Megan Stephaun call number is 602204
• home from the last Cinci ToT 2012. bittersweet. what a season =) so very thankful that i got to share tonight with ♥Sylvia ♥ Alan ♥ Colton ♥ Meaghan ♥+ mGbp +
• gonna go watch avengers for the fourth time tonight!!! xD with Yena, Migi, Paco, Reena, Alvin, and Chris. WIN.
• azucena clan dance party. oh yes.
• day of miracles. mostly regarding deer.
• LOL http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGSSwp1sGck&feature=plcp
• moymoy palaboy can actually sing? rotflwtime.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEFT5cf_SDc&feature=plcp
• make beer sorbet. check.
• “Do not accept anything as truth if it lacks love. And do not accept anything as love which lacks truth.”
• http://www.conversiondiary.com/2008/07/good-people-bad-people-truth-and-lies.html

June

• latest trailer for bourne legacy isn’t half bad
• ~ Why is it easy to work and hard to rest sometimes… I’m restless, and I rustle like a thousand tall trees / I’m twisting and I’m turning in an endless daydream… How long, how long until I’m home? / I’m so tired, so tired… ~
• Seth Kayla Megan Stephaun how many pages did sanjay want?
• knocking out one last major paper with audrey assad’s lament on loop. BLEARGH. it’s finals week.
• PAPER COMPLETE. the week ahead is going to be freakin’ awesome, and i am especially looking forward to catching up with Stephanie, Steve, Julz, and Brad =)
• had lunch at the towers with papa leo. was not expecting to run into doug or sami or zach, but hey. that all worked out nicely… lol.
• food chem II final. BRING IT.
• ~ baby you light up my world like nobody else ~
• moerlein + hofbrauhaus + Stephanie + brett + Julz + Brad+ Bender + Bob = six hours of too much fun. *hugz* and so much ♥ to all of you.
• “lord of the flies meets escoffier…” - Julz LOL
• ~ and how can I stand here with you / and not be moved by you? / would you tell me / how could it be / any better than this? ~
• Mass tomorrow and then Michigan =)
• staying in saginaw tonight, thanks for all the good wishes and prayers =) ♥ to you all.
• safely in Michigan and all settled in =) facebook connection’s a little temperamental, but expect as-close-to-daily-as-possible blog updates to come.
• It’s amazing how quickly water boils when you’re only making rice for one person…
• i have finished a whole can of sardines and maybe almost two cups of rice and have stopped trying to count how many of my friends have pacquiao-related statuses up. clearly i missed something huge last night…
• i canNOT believe i am actually up to go fishing at 5 in the morning. praise God for hot showers and fast-boiling-water-for-rice xP lol.
• i caught a fish!!!!! aisa’s having salmon for dinner tonight =)
• so, for all intents and purposes, i have no phone this summer. it’s a t-mobile thing. whether or not i can get service by driving into town on my off days has yet to be determined by driving into town on my off day… which is not today.
• hm. i am officially in they-don’t-carry-nor-have-they-heard-of-yuengling-at-walmart territory. not sure how i feel about that.
• Stef Ofhfs sorry about the lack of update last night. yes, very tired and busy. didn’t leave the tasting room till around 11pm last night. just finished a 12-hour shift in the cafe and we’ve got more going on tonight. it’s just a really busy weekend coming up.
• IT’S 5 AM. time to go fishing!!! =D =D =D
• i caught one steelhead and one lake trout =) my shoulder’s going to be killing me in the kitchen today, though. ah well ^_^
• so i’m sitting in the cafe vlogging and this chipmunk runs past my feet and i completely lose my train of thought. gosh i love this place.
• no storm can shake my inmost calm… if Love is Lord of heaven and earth, how can i keep from singing?
• WOOT!!! partay at jillesa’s house tonight!!! the whole crew’s going =D chris has requested that i bring garlic, sesame oil, coconut milk, knives, cast iron, and my growler. we’re watching bourne!!!!! :D :D :D WIN.
• garlic and kale sauteed/wilted in sesame oil, cooked down in coconut milk, and garnished with diced kohlrabi is my new favorite veg dish. complete win.
• ~ i know that the hardest part of love is not the
  things I have to give / it’s what i give up, i’m giving up ground and i’m trading in my solitude… ’cause i got nothing left to hide behind / You’re reading all my faith and all
  my fear in my eyes… all my pride / it doesn’t stand a chance / against the way you move / you’re tearing up roots and breaking down walls / and i don’t stand a chance at all against the way you move ~
• ~ faith is… a glow /a little burning ember / in my weary soul / and… it’s just enough to get me home / because your love moves slow ~
• seven still-warm eggs!!! SO COOL!! =D =D
• i heart square dancing =D
• three extremely important things happening today!!!!1) baptism of my Godson, Joseph Tolentino =D
  2) birthday of my uncle Tricky Chris =D
  3) birthday of a perfectly lovely young lady, Anna Marie =D+mGbp+
• it’s a fishing morning, which means sardines and rice for breakfast, and it took four minutes for water to boil. win.
• LOLing at mouseover http://xkcd.com/1072/
• http://www.patheos.com/blogs/badcatholic/2012/06/i-dare-you.html
• my little heart is swelling with a song from somewhere else… i’m ringing like a bell / my little heart, my little heart is racing / it’s racing just to keep up with your love and live to tell, and live to tell / and it’s all i know… i’ve got nothing to lose, and i’ve got everything to find / i’m breathing to the beat of your heart and leaving the world behind…
• The penalty of those who live too close to the flesh is to never understand the spiritual. – Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen
• morning Mass and Rosary at Holy Childhood of Jesus, 40-minute phone convo with Mommy, perfect beginning to my day. +mGbp+
• to everyone trying to call me in the past three weeks and left messages, i sure hope we’re facebook friends and that you see this: i cannot access my voice mail messages, it keeps asking me to leave a message for my own phone!
• ahh i didn’t set my alarm clock this morning – oops – but God woke me up in time to go to His house, so we’re all good! +mGbp+
• if anyone wants to contact me this summer, my number is (231) 838-1368, but PLEASE note that this is ONLY UNTIL AUGUST 24.
• everyone!!!! 1flesh is up!!!!!!!! http://www.1flesh.org/
• So that’s my advice for today. If you find yourself in a sin you feel determined to commit, start making Ridiculous Acts of the Will. When people ask you why you soaked your dress shoes in gasoline and set them on fire, politely tell them “because I can,” and then proceed on your way to Sainthood.http://www.patheos.com/blogs/badcatholic/2012/06/kicking-determinisms-ass.html
• We don’t have to exert ourselves to be beautiful, we simply have to ask, “What am I for?” and form ourselves accordingly. Boom. Philosophy makin’ errbody happy.http://www.patheos.com/blogs/badcatholic/2012/06/why-cougars-scare-the-living-crap-out-of-me.html
• http://www.1flesh.org/5-characteristics-relationship/
• http://www.1flesh.org/anas-story/

July

• America! America! God mend thine every flaw, Confirm thy soul in self-control, Thy liberty in law!
• ~ prophets and lovers don’t always hold true / but i’m never gonna stop falling for you / so when your wine’s all gone and your well runs dry / open your hands and look into my eyes / all that you see here, you’ll soon leave behind / so open your hands and look into my eyes ~
• ~ deep in your heart / you feather and tar / your folly and fear / expose them for the fools they are / and the world comes clear / don’t lie to yourself / o my soul / love your God ~
• Legs Inn + Chris + Benjamin + Jilleisa + Josie + Kelly = nights out dancing don’t get much better than this =)
• lake trout + kale + black rice = dinner tonight =) grazieChris Bergen
• and the over-the-summer bourne marathon begins…
• My country,’ tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing; long may our land be bright with freedom’s holy light; protect us by thy might, great God, our King.
• “In Catholicism, the pint, the pipe and the Cross can all fit together.” -G.K Chesterton
• ~ better is one day in Your courts, better is one day in Your house, better is one day in Your courts than thousands elsewhere! ~
• two days to http://blissfest.org/ …..
• i think mikey bustos sounds better singing in tagalog than in english. i guess i think the same of myself…
• gonna go teach some grapevines how to reach for the sun and BE HAPPY :D :D :D
• it’s a dancing summer!! two great milestones last night, learning some intermediate swing and beginner fox trot =) thanks, Josie Suhs, for joining me =D off to go train vines this morning! in a raincoat…
• i’ve used sixteen stamps in the past 40+ days.. !! yay snail mail summer!!!
• what possessed me to volunteer for multiply doubles on top of the normal work schedule this week, i will never know, but i strongly suspect that with the lack of homework, something of kuya Brad is rubbing off on me…
• Jared‘S BIRTHDAY!!!! :D :D :D happy birthday, jrod =)
• *clark gable on loop* day
• today’s a parm-crusted-grilled-cheese-with-bacon and tomato soup day. it’s storming out =( but hey, cooler weather. it’s nice.
• hug my echinacea-peppermint-licorice-roasted chicory-lavendar-menthol extract-chinese five star anise/lemonade, check for letters, say hi to the chicks, and i’m a pumpkin. GOODNIGHT.
• what better way to spend an evening hour than at the beach, watching the sunset, laughing one’s head off over the phone with one’s mother =)
• mother sent me mangorind and taralli!!!!!!! i is SO HAPPY
• counting down the days to hanging out with Paco Pfjap andMigi P in beautiful Michigan =)
• how long, how long until i’m home, ’cause i’m so tired, so tired of running, how long until you come for me, ’cause i’m so tired, so tired of running…

August

• http://www.patheos.com/blogs/badcatholic/2012/07/in-defense-of-things.html
• http://www.patheos.com/blogs/badcatholic/2011/10/serial-killers-are-boring.html
• http://www.patheos.com/blogs/badcatholic/2012/01/why-twilight-sucks.html
• “From the beginning” the woman is entrusted to [man's] eyes, to his consciousness, to his sensitivity, to his heart. On the other hand, he must, in a way, ensure the same process of the exchange of the gift, the mutual interpenetration of giving and receiving as a gift. – from JPII’s ToB
• why http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3RYvO2X0Oo is currently stuck in my head when i haven’t heard it on the radio since april, i have no idea.
• sosososoooooo excited for dinner in cadillac tonight withJosie, Kelly, and Emily =D =D
• First Friday!!!!! Home in just 23 more days…
• five doubles in two weeks = ais is EXHAUSTED and totally ready for a day off tomorrow.
• golden eye at the roast & toast. LOVE.
• ~ the angel and the one ~ on loop
• i am going to enjoy this movie 1500x more because i understand all the tagalog in it xD hahahahahttp://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi260482329/
• Stef Ofhfs picture this: i’m wearing danskos, gray adventurer pants, navy blue tasting room polo, black skull cap, latex gloves, standing in front of the pig roaster. scott looks up and he’s just thinking that he should get a picture of me intent on ripping meat off of the carcass when i turn to him and ask, “could you see me in the convent?”
• YES. MIKEY BUSTOS + MOYMOY PALABOY + ROADFILL = TOTAL WIN http://youtu.be/8q4krDLaqCI
• 90′s playlist = dance party in the kitchen
• what’s scary is that i can sing along to ‘n sync’s tearing up my heart like it came out last week, and i haven’t listened to it in years Josie Emily Kelly
• dinner last night at chandler’s with Kelly, Josie, and Jilleisa= hanger steak for breakfast today. still not quite as good as when ricky Bobby’s on middle, but it’s ok.
• LAST DAY of the three-day-no-Scott challenge. so far we haven’t burned the cafe down, so i think we’re ok.
• coming into the kitchen and a) complaining that the whole place smells like bacon and b) tempting me to ditch work to go watch bourne is NOT NICE.
• OH MY GOSH. for the next two weeks, without school to distract me, i am going to be super hung up on the extremely unacceptable cliffhanger ending of bourne legacy (thank you Chris). BAH. lol. on my way to see my siblings in boyne!!!! :D :D :D etouffee for dinner tonight. WIN.
• wishing the happiest of happy birthdays to two lovely women, Stephanie Boertlein & Karmela Marie Dalisay =D *hugz* and so much ♥ to you both!!!
• my day to hang with my siblings!!! well. the big ones, anyway. went to Mass, now at roast & toast for breakfast. the agenda for the rest of the day includes mackinac island, legs inn, and fishing =D SO HYPER.
• to go or not to go… http://www.petoskeyfestival.com/
• last week in Michigan… is it possible??
• answer lisa sanders’ email… check. =D ready for fall semester? Stephaun Kayla Megan Seth
• ~ pain throws your heart to the ground / love turns the whole thing around / no it won’t always go the way it should / but i know the heart of life is good ~
• just sent my resume out with the hope of securing a viticulture internship for summer 2013… *fingers crossed* *prayers appreciated*
• just met a classmate of the former bishop of steubie. lol. love working the tasting room…
• // No one experiences Beauty as finite. No one experiences Beauty as relative. Everyone — having made it to the top of the mountain, having woken up after their wedding night to gaze on their spouse, having heard Mozart’s Requiem — would be offended by the comment, “it’s not actually beautiful, you just think it is.” //http://www.patheos.com/blogs/badcatholic/2012/08/dappled-things-my-dear-readers.html
• CARDINALS. Alvin Amargo =D
• Happy Anniversary to Michael and Amy Walsh =D and Happy Birthday to Jon and Candisse =D =D love and miss all of you tons…
• back to UC tomorrow…
• 22 bottles of wine and 2 gallons of hard cider… !!! among other souvenirs from this summer, woohoo xP lol.
• BAH. this whole semester conversion has got me confused. choir practice now starts at 1220 instead of 1200. i could’ve left the house considerably later xP
• >.< Dear Pond Hill Farm and all former co-interns,Cincinnati-sensible Ais went to school today and rolled up her windows and locked her doors… and left her keys and cell phone in her car. Clearly not all of the Cincinnati-sensible portion of Ais has quite recovered from this summer.
• every stance against natural law is rooted in fear – the fear of being incapable of choosing to become all that you can be.
• stuck.in.my.head. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StN9LPtg_q8
• precisely what santorum was trying to get across to incredibly close-minded high schoolers -http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/three-person-civil-union-registered-in-brazil - domino effect >.<
• ugh. teacher just said we are able to digest elastin. LIES.
• ♥ Elizabeth ♥ Katie ♥ Caitlyn ♥ Marv ♥grazie millehugs make everything better
• tangible indications of stress. can i go back to michigan now? i’ve successfully proven myself healthier there.

September

• party tomorrow <– braising pork in cherry/apple hard cider =)
• FEAST!!! cassava cake and ginataan for dessert. *SO HAPPY*
• ok, fine, so i kind of want to go watch bourne legacy again. anyone?
• It’s a lovely lady’s birthday today!!!!!!! *hugz* and ♥ to Kelly Johnson =D Miss you!!
• ~ I’ll be wearing ribbons down my back this summer / blue and green and streaming in the yellow sky / so if someone special comes my way this summer / so that he might notice me passing by / and so i’ll try to make it easier to find me in the stillness of july / because a breeze might stir a rainbow up behind me that might happen to catch the gentleman’s eye / and he might smile and take me by the hand this summer / making me recall how lovely love can be / so i will proudly wear ribbons down my back / shining in my hair / so he might notice me ~
• QotD in marketing class: “non-alcoholic hummus smoothies & cocktails” <– … say what????
• LOL QotD: “Aurora, do you mind if we stick some men in your car?”
• whaaaaaat??? mikey bustos’ kahit isang saglit is blocked in the USA on copyright grounds???? *not cool*
• if you need a laugh today Stef Ofhfs Paco Pfjap Migi Mabpjust for kicks http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9dDOSZJCdI
• Stef Ofhfs i wish you were coming to our first concert… we’re singing Mozart’s Ave verum Corpus and the fourth movement from Brahms’ Requiem.
• watching NOVA in class, wow it has been a while…
• hah hah hah ImagineSisters asked who our favorite catholic blogger was, and fifteen people [so far] said Bad Catholic. it’s funny when several people in a row say the exact same thing. total win.
• now why did i think i’d get a decent amount of sleep while on retreat with music-makers? lol. nice to be back in UC Chorus xD
• Nino: *matter-of-fact tone* Yeah, Mommy and Daddy went on a date.
  me: Do you want to go on a date with Ate sometime?
  Nino: *whiny dejected tone* No, I want to go with Mommy, but I’m too small.
  me: You’re too small?
  Nino: *very dejected tone* Yeah, I’m too small for a date.
• ~ Cause I could spend my life just trying to sift through / What I could’ve done better but what good do What Ifs do… I’d rather forget and not slow down / Than gather regret for the things I can’t change now ~
• LOL Stef Ofhfs http://xkcd.com/1109/
• ood chem III <– <(>.<)>
• ugh. that’s it, i’m tired of the cafeteria chairs. StephaunSeth Megan Tim Kayla if any of you get here early and feel like studying [or not], i’ll be in the lounge on the 2nd floor.
• OH MY GOSH Paco Pfjap Migi Mabp Stef Ofhfs Bong OfhfsAUDREY ASSAD + TENTH AVENUE NORTH IN CINCINNATI AT THE UNDERGROUNDhttps://www.facebook.com/audreyassadmusic/app_414378221934240
• ~ when it’s all said and done / when we sing our final song / only love remains / only love remains / let my life be the proof / the proof of Your love / let my love look like You and what You’re made of / how You lived, how You died / love is sacrifice / so let my life be the proof / the proof of Your love ~
• on the downside, ‘creating foods’ is officially getting on my nerves. on the upside, a delicious dinner and much-needed catch-up with Stephanie, curry-leaf-ale-for-cherry-porttrade with jason, and a job offer . good night. good week. ~ ptL ~
• ♥ Vice Verses ♥
• ~ Where is God in the night sky? / Where is God in the city light? / Where is God in the earthquake? / Where is God in the genocide? / Where are you in my broken heart / Everything seems to fall apart / Everything feels rusted over / Tell me that you’re there / I know that there’s a meaning to it all / A little resurrection every time I fall / You got your babies, I got my hearses / Every blessing comes with a set of curses / I got my vices, I got my vice verses ~
• // … we can take comfort that, in a world obsessed with appropriating worth based on wealth, status, looks, name, race, religion, and all the rest, our true worth is only this, that we are loved. //http://www.patheos.com/blogs/badcatholic/2012/09/humans-are-useless.html
• best. xkcd. ever. http://xkcd.com/1110/
• today in food anthropology, we are given a list of foods and told to classify them. “there is no right or wrong way to do this; some of you may have two categories, some may have five.” apparently we’ll talk about it. guess how mine is classified? as if it were a req…
• on the one hand, my feet hurt, and “i am tired and hungry and totally useless.” on the other hand… i’m not sure that it gets much better than being semi-paid in vino.
• ‘ey, CState kids, who signed up for lunch with Fr. Geoff and Marv on tues? do i know you? lol.
• saturating my break time with what scott would refer to as elevator music xD
• // The modern world has ripped apart the Old and New Testament, leaving us with two seemingly irreconcilable deities: an angry, wrathful Yahweh who cannot be approached, and a meek and mild Jesus who is too timid to defend his followers fro
  m evil. Aslan allows us to reintegrate—not just intellectually and theologically, but emotionally and viscerally as well—the two sides of the Triune God who calls out to us on every page of the Bible, from Genesis to Revelation. //http://www.civitate.org/2012/09/a-to-z-with-c-s-lewis-a-is-for-aslan/
• huh. lysozyme in your tears is anti-bacterial. cool.
• // Lewis is best known as an apologist for the Christian faith, but he was also an apologist for beauty. With great courage, he resisted those who sought to deconstruct beauty and convert it from an essential element of the Creation inscri
  bed by God in the heart of man and nature into a bourgeois construct, a tool of the status quo used to enforce conformity. // http://www.civitate.org/2012/09/a-to-z-with-c-s-lewis-b-is-for-beauty/
• “how do you take your coffee?” “with caffeine powder…”
• wine tasting/pairing in chem & tech of flavors class + late dinner and looooongggg catch-up with ♥ Anna Marie ♥ Ben♥ and Aaron ♥ + a letter from ♥ Kelly ♥ = happy happy wednesday, happy happy ais =D
• // In Screwtape Letters (#29), Lewis theorizes that one of the reasons that God created a dangerous world is to force the humans he made to make moral decisions. And to make a moral decision very often means to choose between courage and c
  owardice. Courage, writes Lewis, “is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point . . . A chastity or honesty or mercy which yields to danger will be chaste or honest or merciful only on conditions. Pilate was merciful till it became risky.” //http://www.civitate.org/2012/09/a-to-z-with-c-s-lewis-c-is-for-courage/
• our class is so awesome. our final presentations for our chem & tech of flavors class will be on wine, beer, chocolate, vodka, vanilla, cheddar, and bleu cheese respectively, and all presentations will include product samples. you’d think we’d planned a menu and chose our topics based on it. it’s gonna be one heckuva super awesome winter day xD
• WHEW. 12.53-hour trial by fire. i’ve a kiss from the tandoor on my arm. conceptually i love her by virtue of my love for fire, but we’ve yet to learn to work together with some decent measure of harmony.
• has it feet like water lilies? has it feathers like a bird? is it brought from famous countries of which i have never heard? oh, some scholar, oh, some sailor, oh, some wise man from the skies, please to tell a little pilgrim where the place called morning lies…
• HEY. free student ticket to a concert at 3pm on sunday that no one in my immediate family can use. somebody please please take it and use it? it would be such a shame to have that empty seat. concert details -http://calendar.uc.edu/wv3/wv3_servlet/urd/run/wv_event.Detail?id=17270345
• dearest Angela, thank you for being with me – and with all of us – at CREDO tonight. love and miss you, sis.
• blah. too much down time at this concert. >.<
• waiting… to go back on stage to sing finale stufffsss including ave verum corpus…
• i hope i’ve earned cool big sister points by taking Paco andMigi to watch audrey assad + tenth avenue north + rend collective experiment…

October

• so i was trying to say, “yes, jason,” in the general direction of saute, though not actually looking in that direction, and what came out was, “yes, Jared.” >.<
• or everyone who didn’t see this at CREDO two years ago – and for everyone else that did and enjoyed it immenselyhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kG8xVHNFEMc
• you’ve drawn so close that it’s hard to see you / and you speak so softly that it’s hard to hear you / and i guess that’s what i get for inviting you in / because you took me at my word…
• hah hah hah we’re watching Food Inc. in class Stef Ofhfs
• Prof T just handed me Wine Flavour Chemistry by R.J. Clarke & J. Bakker to use as a reference for my research paper. LOVE.
• 12-string not currently playable = ais GOING INSANE
• so apparently i picked up an accent in michigan, and yet you’d think that someone other than Michelle, who has known me for 14 years, would have noticed sometime in the past 40 days that i’ve been back…?
• i’d forgotten what it’s like to get home from work at this hour, when the rest of the fam is already sound asleep… oh well. excellent day, mGbp =)
• … so be a burden on me / you could put it down / go on / share your misery / there may be something in ‘we’ / a trace of brightness there that seclusion could not see / oh baby, be a burden on me… ’cause if i shine, it’s because of You / if i love, it’s because of You / if i’m strong, it’s because of You / it’s all because / it’s all because of You / and i’m in love / in love / in love / i’m in love / in love / in love…
• the presence of Jordan Daniel Ramos is significantly positively contributing to the productiveness of this break time.
• http://xkcd.com/1116/
• http://www.patheos.com/blogs/badcatholic/2012/10/catholics-for-choice-whine-to-the-huffington-post-everyone-leaves-feeling-gratified.html <– lol, first comment reads ‘Excellent post, as always. I still can’t get over CFC. Boggles the mind. It’s like “Muslims for Pork” or “Baptists for Alcohol”.’
• class is out!! off to theology on tap at martino’s!!
• great. back to that never-know-what-to-wear-to-school-on-days-that-i-don’t-have-work-because-work-clothes-are-easiest dilemma. bleargh.
• “I am become aware of my errors too late. I had hoped my daughters would grow up to be good, but I succeeded only in them being good-mannered. I knew my daughter no more than a stranger; a woman whose shoulder I might brush against without any inkling of her fears or hopes or passions.” <– ouch. (killing time/rewarding finished homework high by watching mansfield park)
• “The woman I thought I loved doesn’t exist. She was a figment of my imagination. So much the better, you may say; I have less to lose. But I’d've lost you a thousand times rather than see you for what you really are.” #MansfieldPark
• UGH. someone needs to film a Persuasion with an anne elliot that has the backbone of hattie morahan’s elinor dashwood. PLEASE.
• bleargh. midterms next week… heh.
• ~ let’s build a house with turned-out doors /so we can share what love affords / pour ourselves out like a wine that we’ve been saving ~
• KZ’s version of Kisapmata is lovely. and her take on Ang Huling El Bimbo ain’t half bad, either.
• late night at work. even later night tomorrow. so ridiculously happy to be back in the kitchen. God is so good =)
• 02:36. just got home from work. 130 covers, 102 before 20:30 or something ridiculous like that. good times =) gosh but i love life.
• ~ i walk this empty street / on the boulevard of broken dreams / my shadow’s the only one that walks beside me / my shallow heart’s the only thing that’s beating ~
• i’ve been inspired to revisit green day.
• it’s monday… and all i really want to do is get past monday and into tuesday so that i can go to work. >.< bleargh.
• YES. working my spring semester sched.
• bleargh. so over studying for midterms.
• wow. formation of conscience brought up in food anthropology in a completely secular context by someone a couple of rows behind me and to my right. interesting.
• yay yay yay yay yay mommy and daddy came to eat at mantra and meet all the wonderful men that i am privileged to know and work with =) *happy*
• YES. midterms are OVER.
• // With use comes expectation, and with expectation comes disappointment, but our delight cannot be disappointed, for delight lasts as long as we recognize that the object of our delight still exists. With use comes termination and finitude
  , for the use of something implies an eventual or previous moment when that the object of use is worthy of being cast out, of being unused. With delight, however, comes infinity, for we can always delight in a thing as long as it is, and even after the thing is gone, as we delight in our beloved dead, and our long-lost childhood. //http://www.patheos.com/blogs/badcatholic/2012/10/being-and-delight.html
• HomeLIFE tonight!! =D
• combined rehearsal with the men today =D if you’ve not yet plans for november 7, you should come to our fall concert!!!
• thank God for no 6pm class next monday. i might need to do something fun.
• “A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do.”
• home at 0230 on the dot, and ais has to be back at work at 0745 to help pack up for a creations class, MCI by 0900, back to work by noon for what will probably be a 12 to 14-hour shift. AIS IS INSANE. ais might actually need coffee tomorrow… er, later today. goodnight… morning… whatever.
• 20.76-hour day on less than three hours of sleep. crash-time.
• AZUCENA CLAN ~ i’m making lola’s lecheflan for the dessert menu at work again =D Prosperidad Amargo Alvin Amargo
• chemistry & technology of flavors class on halloween is AWESOME. like, fireworks.
• “when else can you blow a bubble in class and not get in trouble?” – prof t
• “… use starch which is high in starch…” i think prof t’s just as high on sugar as his students.

November

• the consequence of forgetting about registration is being 5 hours too late to get into the one class that was going to be the highlight of next semester.
• la vita e bella =) God is so good.
• apple & gouda sausage + pierogis + yuengling = happy saturday lunch
• it is a ridiculous hour to be getting home, even with taking daylight savings into account, and absolutely terrible to consider what time it would actually be without, but good times. love our mantra crew =) p.s. Nathan anna sun was the last song i heard on the radio on the way home. haha, legit =D
• chillaxing at TUC with daddy
• ~ have no fear for giving in / have no fear for giving over / you’d better know that in the end / it’s better to say too much / than never say what you need to say / even if your hands are shaking / and your faith is broken / even as the eyes are closing / do it with a heart wide open / say what you need to say ~
• ~ and my mates are all there trying to calm me down / ’cause i’m shouting your name all over town / i wanted words but all i heard was nothing ~
• // … this a case of bad science and religious bigotry… //http://www.americanthinker.com/2012/02/the_false_promise_of_contraception.html
• // “If we don’t discipline, for whatever reason… it will be done. Your child will be disciplined… by a judge, a landlord, an army sergeant, a police officer, an employer – I shudder at this next one – a wife. Somebody’s gonna teach ‘em!” // LOL. but true.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dJPJHeND9Y
• ~ dark the stars and dark the moon / hush the night and the morning gloom / tell the horses and beat on your drum / gone their master, gone their son / dark the oceans, dark the sky / hush the whales and the ocean tide / tell the salt marsh and beat on your drum / gone their master gone their son / dark to light and light to dark / three black carriages, three white carts / what brings us together is what pulls us apart / gone our brother, gone our heart / hush the whales and the ocean tide / tell the salt marsh and beat on your drum / gone their master, gone their son ~
• if you’re not awake yet, i can’t believe you. stay away from me for a while, because i just might decide to wake you, shall we say, manually.
• “Hope is the power of being cheerful in circumstances that we know to be desperate.” – G.K. Chesterton
• so many lifehouse songs that i want to cover, but the percussion *makes* all of them. bah! christmas recording session? Alvin Stef Tricky
• preference ni nino na magkamay vs spoon & fork –> ate makes nino bundok-bundok –> missing mamaProsperidad ♥
•  OH MY GOSH WE SURVIVED HAYDN’S DRINKING CHORUS.thanks Cory and thanks Nathan! running into yous made my night =D
• lol. spontaneous friday night adventures with chef and matt are fun.
• sososososoooooo happy to have been able to catch up withAnna Moi today =D ♥
• >.< i don’t like being limited to 5 pages on research papers.
• ~ the first leaves off the tree… a thousand chiming church bells ring / the simple things are free / the sun, the moon, the stars… how i love the simple things / the simple things just are / the ocean and the sky… i know that it’s the love that brings / the simple things to life ~
• // I believe that most people who are pro-choice hold that viewpoint because they want to help women. I was pro-choice out of loving concern for my sisters all over the world, and, on the surface, it seemed that this view was the most compa
  ssionate. But when I took a hard look behind the closed doors of the pro-choice movement, and demanded full information, and acknowledged the dignity of women of all ages (even those not yet born), and asked hard questions about what women’s reproductive freedom really means, that is when I became pro-life. //http://www.ncregister.com/blog/jennifer-fulwiler/why-i-lost-faith-in-the-pro-choice-movement?fb_action_ids=297538650346128&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_source=timeline_og&action_object_map=%7B%22297538650346128%22%3A333918423372762%7D&action_type_map=%7B%22297538650346128%22%3A%22og.likes%22%7D&action_ref_map=%5B%5D#ixzz2C2aPidSB
• 365 days in black and white complete. i’m sad. but i’m excited for my next project, which i’m calling “365 days of five kids” =)
• gonna go check out metropole with Martha tonighttt :D :D :D ladeeda
• last night’s post-service itinerary –> knockback, metropole, gilpin’s, knockback. oh look, we didn’t end up in covington; what an achievement. LOL. ♥ our team ♥
• Ubi caritas est vera, est vera, Deus ibi est, Deus ibi est.
• ~ this is my prayer in the desert… in the fire… in the battle… in the harvest. i know i’m filled to be emptied again; the seed i’ve received, i will sow ~
• // A man… supplies [zinc]… to his wife, as well as ascorbic acid, blood-group antigens, calcium, chlorine, cholesterol, choline, citric acid, creatine, fructose, glutathione, lactic acid, magnesium, nitrogen, phosphorous, potassium, sodium, sorbitol, and vitamin B12… //so cool!!!!http://www.1flesh.org/argument_page/condoms-ruin-sex/
• BAH. guitar is backordered. ais is going INSANE.
• prayers, please, for the family of a close friend whose father was just diagnosed with cancer.
• first song i heard on the radio today ~ here we are now with our desperate youth and the pain / we’re awakening / maybe it’s called ambition / you’ve been talking in your sleep / about a dream / we’re awakening ~ ♥ switchfoot ♥
• driving around cinci/newport with Joe & Cory <– tons more fun than using a GPS
• Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!!!
• bwahaha. mother chooses the family movie on thanksgiving. guess what we’re watching? terminator =D i love my mommy.
• i give thanks and praise for a crew of perfectly lovely individuals, in whose delightful company, i shall very happily spend black friday cooking =)
• finals spread out over three weeks? yuckkk.
• “I’ve accidentally stumbled upon a subculture of men who’ve told me, in no uncertain terms, that they’re never getting married. When I ask them why, the answer is always the same.
  Women aren’t women anymore.”
• “You see, they will not let us help them. They have chosen cunning instead of belief. Their prison is only in their own minds, yet they are in that prison; and so afraid of being taken in that they cannot be taken out. But come, children. I have other work to do…”
• last lab report of the semester, complete. next assignment…
• How to Avoid Falling in Love With a Jerk is so much more interesting than this marketing project >.<
• if someone would get mad at me for attempting to put a religious definition to an inherently secular term, then why am i not allowed to be angry when people attempt to secularize what is inherently religious? completely asinine.
• AHHHHHHHH Migi IS FOURTEEN!!!!
• // Three weeks ago, my 9-year-old daughter collapsed and died, in the space of less than three minutes, from a cardiomyopathy so rare that she was twice as likely to have been struck by lightning… A friend asked me if I had any “unfinishe
  d business” with my daughter when she died. I pondered that question. Did she know every day, without doubt, that she was loved unconditionally? I know in my heart she would answer an unequivocal “yes.” Did she leave this earth, far too soon, but having actually LIVED while she was here? Yes. Yes she did. //http://www.freerangekids.com/the-most-important-free-range-kids-post-so-far/
• ♥ Katie ♥ Theresa ♥ Alan ♥ Chris ♥ Stephen ♥ Mike ♥theology on tap + mantra:D*happy*merci beaucoup
• acoustic electric 12-string taylor on its way. la vita e bella.

December

• ~ it don’t hurt like anything i’ve ever felt before / this is no broken heart / no familiar scars / this territory goes uncharted ~
• it’s december. it’s 70 degrees outside. it’s awesome. ~mGbp~
• biggest accomplishment this semester – making it through the first 99 days of senior year without a 12-string.praise God, that chapter is over.
• ~ you’ve got you and your solitude allowing no more room for me / and you’re giving me the coldest stare to assist my sympathy / but oh, you’ve been so ruined with no sign of relief / so be a burden on me / you could put it down, go on, share your misery / there may be something in ‘we’ / a trace of brightness there that seclusion could not see / oh baby, be a burden on me ~
• decorated and as-of-yet-still-relatively-empty corbett auditorium is gorgeous.
• >.< missing another pacquiao fight? really???
• // Too often, Americans fear that their desires are too strong, and that they must therefore deny them if they are to achieve salvation. In sharp contrast to this semi-gnostic view of the body and its longings, Lewis assures us that the re
  al problem with our desires is not that they are too strong for heaven but that they are too weak.“We are half-hearted creatures,” writes Lewis, “fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” Heaven promises a purification, not a mortification, of our deepest desires. //http://www.civitate.org/2012/10/a-to-z-with-c-s-lewis-d-is-for-desire/
• // … we each have a little Mother Theresa and a little Hitler within us…What would you think of a man who married a woman and then immediately began to spy on her every time she left the house? You would think the man was a fool and
  a lout, for he refuses to put faith in the love he shares with his wife and the vow that cemented their marriage. And yet that is exactly what the modern world expects Christians to do… //http://www.civitate.org/2012/11/a-to-z-with-c-s-lewis-f-is-for-faith/
• feast of carols, day 2… the sooner it’s over, the sooner i can go crazy over finals. like, RAHRAHRAH in what scott calls the ‘alien voice’. yay for a 24-day break once it’s all over.
• kana nge zola ku zaba mwanaaaaaaaa
  nge fwiti kwisa ku fukamaaaaaaaaanoeeeelll (JESU!!!!!) noeeeelll (JESU!!!!!)Jesu me kwisa ku zinga ti betoooooooooxD
• i cannot WAIT to spend christmas in PA this year.
• finals finals FINALS finals finals finals FINALS finals FINALS finals……..
• “Who is this?!?! It’s someone we’re supposed to love!!! Who is it???” Stef Ofhfs
• My legs don’t need me. I want to cut my legs off. ~ Nino
• ♥ Gilbert put his arm about them. “Oh, you mothers!” he said. “You mothers! God knew what He was about when He made you.” ♥
• i need to stop playing/singing Ang Huling El Bimbo and study. seriously. somebody out there hold me accountable. >.<
• two finals down, two to go. time to sing a little.
• SNAPhttp://www.npr.org/blogs/thesalt/2012/12/12/166987378/a-sign-from-above-needing-new-roof-monks-sell-rare-beer-in-u-s?sc=tw&cc=share
• yes i just drove to JJ’s to see if there was any westvleteren 12 left. silly ais. of course there wasn’t.
• one final left. just one.
• FINALS. OVER. YES. and not working, soooo…. hobbit hobbit HOBBIT hobbit hobbit HOBBIT hobbit HOBBIT hobbit…
• going through papers at the end of the term always gives me enough scrap paper to get through the next one… very colorful scrap paper, too.
• LOL. found my mind-map of my “perfect day” from honors orientation Colleen Anthony Kelsey Alyssa
• HOBBIT. with Bong, Paco, Migi, Kit, Sam, Jane, Maria, Yena,Cameron, and Rich. happy ais. sleepy time. :D
• BLEARGH. <– waiting for grades to be posted.
• let’s make it our prayer to go love the children! =( there is a great sickness in the world, the darkness and depth of which too many of us fail to realize. parents, go do some hugging. it all starts in the home.
• 95 covers. not half bad, considering the past few weeks. fingers crossed that the numbers stay up for the rest of the year…
• Happy Gaudete Sunday!!!
• sooo… somebody at Mass today told me that culinary arts were all well and good, but that i should go focus on doing something with my voice instead. i hope he wasn’t put out when i kinda… laughed…
• ~ I am the Way / follow Me and take My hand / and I am the Truth / embrace Me and you’ll understand / and I am the Life / and for Me you’ll live again / for I am Love / I am Love / I… I am Love ~
• ~ … in their wordless way the nails explain / the love that I feel inside / as they carved your name into My tree / where I wrapped My heart around your name / then I took your arrow through My heart / just to say, “I love you” ~
• sending mum and dad to metropole tomorrow for their anniversary =D ladeedaaa
• bubbly bubbly BUBBLY bubbly bubbly bubbly tomorrow. + a birthday. it’s going to be AWESOME.
• bubbly dinner = SUCCESS. ais is tired but ais is not sleepy… time to pack, sew, and write some christmas cards…
• i hate it when something picture-worthy happens and i can’t figure out how to get a decent shot of it. like the hair that wasn’t fully under my hat and is now singed from me sticking my face in the tandoor…
• ~ in the bleak midwinter, frosty wind made moan / earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone / snow had fallen, snow on snow, snow on snow / in the bleak midwinter, long ago / oh, what can i give Him, poor as i am? / if i were a shepherd, would i bring a lamb? / if i were a Wise Man, would i do my part? / yet what i can i give Him / give my heart… ~
• ohey, the world didn’t end. so… i guess that means i can start counting down the days until i get to catch up withAnthony and Cory, righttt?
• i love grazing my knuckles/hand/arm on the plastic wrap cutter. it always looks like i tried to put my skin through a mini paper shredder. or tried to illustrate a chiral center.
• forgot to bring the limoncello to work. FAIL. blearghhhh
• sleep? naahhhh. watching inception with the men =D
• ate Mariel and ate Anna Theresa are here. unc’s making alien brain hemorrhages. >.< lol.
• Nino is negotiating with Daddy for Cheetos. Nino will get five, but Daddy says to go kiss Ate Mariel first. “NO! I DON’T WANT TO KISS LADIES!!!” ~ Nino
• ~ furrows, be glad though earth is bare / one more seed is planted there / give up your strength, the seed to nourish / that in course the flower may flourish / people look east and sing today / Love, the Rose is on the way… stars keep the watch when night is dim / one more light, the bowl shall brim / shining beyond the frosty weather / bright as sun and moon together / people look east and sing today / Love, the Star is on the way ~
• LOL xP for my culinology-mates http://xkcd.com/1151
• MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!! =) so happy to be home with the family this year…
• sleepy? baligtad pala ang blouse ko… my bad, mama, my bad.
• conversations from last night/this morning:nino: is there blood in people’s feet?
  me: what?!
  mom: i don’t know where you get these things, nino.
  nino: i get them from people’s feet!

nino: i’m not smart in rock band.
me: what?! nooo, nino, you’re *very* smart.
nino: no i’m not! because i sing all the wrong words!!!
mom: oh, nino, we just have to teach you to read.
nino: *dejected* no. no, i’m not smart in rock.

mom: nino, you’re smart!
nino: and powerful!!!

• food. coffee. cocoa. marshmallows. alcohol. slideshows. kids running around playing with their new toys. rock band. guitars. pictures. azucena clan Christmas. God is so good =D
• =D it’s my mama’s 78th birthday!!!!
• ninong Alvin, i’m working on updating the azucena family tree =)
• we’re on ice cream cartons 7, 8, and 9, and it’s only been four days…
• watching Les Miserables for Mama’s birthday =D =D =D SO EXCITED!!!!!
• i WAS napping on the couch in the sala… but now we’re watching street fighter II, the animated movie. of course we are. love.
• mother made limoncello tiramisu. MIND BLOWN.
• Nino’s 4th birthday today… he’s not the baby we brought to Italy anymore =(
• best-pre-New-Year’s weekend ever =D ♥ Michelle ♥ Terhi ♥Kit ♥ Eric ♥ Anthony ♥ Cory ♥ and very special thanks to miss Martha ♥
• the limoncello is over a year old… so. new year’s eve in mt. adams.. round two… go! xD

Fireworks will be launched from seven barges on the harbour, from the rooftops of seven city skyscrapers and, of course, from the Sydney Harbour Bridge. Every imaginable colour will be splashed across the night sky, lights that flare and flower and shimmer and dance before our eyes.

It comes with a price tag, of course.

Tonight’s fireworks budget is $6.6 million. That covers the 9pm family fireworks (eight minutes duration) and the midnight fireworks (12 minutes). A measly $330,000 per minute for pleasure’s sake. Hey, there’s nothing wrong with entertainment but don’t you think this is a wee bit frivolous?

A Tassie family – fans of the Sydney fireworks – think the organisers of the event (City of Sydney Council) have a tremendous opportunity to trim a minute off each fireworks display and put the money saved in pyrotechnics towards eradicating world hunger and poverty.

This is brilliant stuff.

The Brown family of Northern Tasmania feel so strongly about this, they’ve started an online campaign aiming for 1 million signatures to let the City of Sydney Council know that people want this to happen at the 2013/2014 New Years Eve fireworks event.

“We’ve come up with the name, Pause for the Cause,” dad Mark Brown says.
“Wouldn’t it be great if during that Pause for the Cause minute, we at the beginning of a new year can stop and count our blessings and remember those less fortunate than ourselves?”

Yes, Mark, that would be great.

Because we have so much to be thankful for, and it would start the year on a sweet note to know that we were thinking of others rather than naval gazing.

“In that sacrifice of one minute of glitter and noise we will literally be saving thousands of lives around the world, where 20,000 people die daily simply because they do not have access to clean drinking water,” Mark reminded us.

Tomorrow begins a new year and no doubt you have things you would like to ‘get done’. You have hopes and aspirations. You have work and responsibilities. Have you given thought to the attitude you will wear in 2013?

I love this verse from Micah 6:8; “What does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”

Justice. Mercy. Humility. To temper our lives with these qualities would be a leap towards narrowing the chasm between rich and poor, love and hate, hurt and healing.

As you watch the fireworks tonight, give thought to the greater celebration of ending world poverty and what part you can play.

Sign the Pause for the Cause petition here.

As printed in The Examiner Newspaper for Keeping the Faith column on Monday December 31.

I highly recommend How to Avoid Falling in Love With a Jerk. Sound judgmental? Chill out. You’re not trying to determine if the person is a good or bad person per se; rather, the question is, are they good for you or bad for you?

I’ve a number of perfectly wonderful friends who wouldn’t be any good for me in the context of something beyond friendship.

What I’d specifically like to zone in on is actually a revisiting of that topic which I have previously had such trouble explaining to my American friends, and that is the concept of Filipino courtship, and why I am so sold on it.

In How to Avoid Falling in Love With a Jerk, John Van Epp speaks of the importance of getting to know a person in circles which represent three different levels of relationships. The first circle is that of family, the second circle is that of friends, and the third is what Van Epp calls “peripheral” relationships, meaning strangers.

The general rule is that as the comfort level goes up, the acting goes down. One should distinguish between comfort level and feeling comfortable. For example, if you have a relatively bad relationship with a sibling or parent, you may not feel comfortable around them, but it is indicative of your comfort level if you belittle them, speaking and acting to their face as you would never do to a friend with whom you feel comfortable, but on whose ‘good side’ you are always consciously striving to stay.

Circle #1 ~ Family

How does an individual relate to their family?

In a ‘normal’ family, the same-sex parent is the role model – whether consciously or unconsciously – and the opposite-sex parent will exhibit the qualities that the child will look for in a partner.

In what we might label a ‘dysfunctional’ family, where the parents are split, or are unevenly burdened, or nonexistent, one looks at what the child strives to cope with in attempting to function healthily as an individual. If roles are reversed – the child has to look out for the parent – or the child learns to parent the younger children, or the child becomes a doormat, any and all of these can give clues as to patterns that may resurface in a marriage.

If the child learns that the only way to be secure while growing up is taking control of a situation, they may not like it and may not want to repeat that pattern when they have their own family, but in marriage, what one may find is that that person then needs to take control of a situation to be able to feel secure, and feel is if they are functioning properly. They may not necessarily want to do so, and may want to learn to sit back and let someone else take the reins from time to time, but unless a conscious effort has been made to recognize this pattern and break it, those patterns will resurface in a relationship.

How does a person act around their family while at home? Are they cognizant of the needs of their parents and siblings, are they helpful, are they quick to and comfortable with showing affection? [Are these things you would value in a future spouse?] Is this manner genuine? How does an individual speak of their family when away from the home? Does their manner of speaking match up with their manner in the home? If a person is sweet at home and a backstabber outside of it, what makes you think that you won’t be on the receiving end of it in a long-term relationship? [Are you ok with that? I'm not, but you might be able to handle it. Maybe you expect no less. Maybe you take it and dish it out in kind and expect them to be cool with it, too.]

If you haven’t the opportunity to observe the person within the confines of their home, then note if they make an effort to visit their family regularly. Do they call home, or stay connected via the internet? Is the effort – if existent – mutual? Are they anxious to share stories of their family with you? Do they want to hear about your family? Do they want to get to know your family? Do they react positively or negatively to how you relate to your family?

Circle #2 ~ Friends

The questions to be asked and the patterns to be observed here are much along the same lines as those within the family circle. Is the individual the same person to their friends’ faces as they are behind their backs? Are the friendships one sided, and if so, weighted which way? Are they stingy with their time? Generous? Too generous? What kind of company do they keep? What kind of company do their friends keep? Do they have a significant amount of influence over their friends, or vice versa? Positive, negative?

Circle #3 ~ Peripheral (Strangers)

Circles indicate a ‘normal’ or ‘healthy’ increase or decrease of intimacy, depending on which way they’re listed, but their numbers do not indicate importance, which is specific to the individual being evaluated.

At any rate, how does the individual in question treat perfect strangers? Is the person a considerate and patient driver without being a pushover, do they tip well, do they hold doors open, are they calm and collected in unnecessarily long or slow lines… You get the idea.

What all of this has to do with Filipino courtship:

The stages of traditional Filipino courtship pay very special attention to these three circles.

Courtship would ideally begin by getting to know each other in the comfort – or discomfort – of the home, specifically the girl’s.

… a man shall leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be two in one flesh… Gn 2:24

The courtship would then progress to include group dates. Only after some time of getting to know a person around their family and friends would one move to exclusive one-on-one dates.

When you become involved with someone, you’re not becoming involved with just that person, you’re getting involved with every person that has ever interacted with that person to make them who they are. You’re becoming involved with their present, but also with everything in their past that has led up to the moment that you first interact with them on any significant level.

I hope that the definition of a date still includes some attempt to impress a person. I really hope it still means putting your best foot forward to make that date the best part of that person’s day – or week, or month, or life. But that doesn’t change the fact that there are patterns to a person’s relationships, specific to their personality, and the best environment in which to evaluate a person that you know absolutely nothing about is not while you’re alone with them, when they can manipulate and maneuver their own self and their surroundings to give a sweep-you-off-your-feet impression.

Don’t you want to be impressed with not only who they want you to think that they are, but with who they really are?

Comments:

On Parts I & II… The two lists thing is still mostly true, but there are countless females who are beginning to exhibit that same mindest. It is part of the spreading of the culture of Death. Men, if your subconscious warns that females are failing to be women and failing to exhibit and uphold authentic femininity, try to pay attention. [Unless, of course, you go for that sort of thing, I guess.]

Joshua Harris was on to something, but he was a) young (21), and b) dealing with wounds and prejudices – both against others and against himself – that influenced his opinion on how to find and maintain a healthy and holy relationship. His method is a perfectly legitimate one which may work for some. There are others, however, who have different strengths and different weaknesses from Joshua Harris, and for whom saving the first kiss for marriage is actually more harmful than helpful. Two persons can grow together in intimacy without breaking the laws of God; it just depends on the individuals in question. It is not a commandment to save one’s first kiss for marriage, or to avoid long hugs, or to not go beyond holding hands. These are suggestions for people who have significant issues with self control or accountability. Again, it depends on the person.

And so, I correct myself. GO SHOPPING [if your personality and faith life can handle it]. But, you know, shop safe, and shop smart.

Here’s a great article which asks, “Where can our young people go to have innocent fun, not just alongside the other sex, but specifically for mingling with them, meeting them, flirting with them, searching for one of them to love?  Where are we nudging them gently along toward marriage and the sweetness of that life?”

On Part III… It occurs to me now that experience can refer to experience in every kind of relationship, filial, paternal, peripheral… In the sense that all other relationships reveal patterns which will likely repeat in a significant relationship, perhaps another way of looking at it is that we all do have experience – a lot of it – that can and will define every consequent relationship, ‘significant’ or otherwise.

On Part V… I stand by everything I said, and I still believe that it is perfectly possible to maintain a healthy brother/sister relationship with someone to whom you are attracted. 15 was seven years ago for me. I think seven years is a decent amount of time to successfully prove that to myself. But there are other factors.

I believe it is perfectly within a parent’s right to forbid dating before a certain age, especially in this day and age. Recreational dating is something that I would hope parents would want to protect their kids from. Note, however, that if the child has been brought up with a correct understanding of the purpose of dating, and the families of both children are both close and on the same page, then allowing dating before eighteen is certainly not out of the question. The search for one’s forever-boy/girl can begin as early as the gravity of that search is internalized. Seriously, why not? Circles, circles, circles and patterns, dears. And if that gravity is understood, then the child should obviously be capable of exercising prudence with regards to the practicality of dating at their own age, as well as the age of their respective love interest.

I said earlier that I’ve recognized a number of friends that are awesome, and are awesome as my friends, but that wouldn’t be any good for me as something more than friends. There are and will be friendships that are worthy of preserving just as they are, and that are simply not worth risking. Don’t waste good friendships. But don’t be overprotective of yourself, either. Look for those patterns and take it case-by-case. Shop smart =)

One Last Caveat

Patterns can be changed. So don’t just throw your hands up and groan in helplessness. Evaluate the significance, depth, and gravity of a specific pattern. Talk about it. Be up front about your concerns. If you both want to change it, then work on it together, consciously and consistently, and if necessary, work with a counselor. Know when help is possible and worth seeking.

“Let’s get one thing straight; you did have a crush on me, and I actually looked forward to seeing you around school,” replied he.

How embarrassing, I was that obvious!

“All right, all right, I admit it; I had a crush on you,” said I. Strange, though, how different we both remember things. For me it was more seeing you sitting at your desk studying.”

“Yes, I was focused on my work and still am with that.”

Yes you were. Sometimes I sat next to you to talk to you but your attention was in your books.

“At least one of us got their lives figured out. Yours is what I wish for.”

“Well, things always look greener on the other side and I wouldn’t have my life any other way from what it is. But you shouldn’t feel bad about yours. Keep up the faith; you never know when things turn around for you. You have to believe on that,” replied he.

Believe in it? What do I actually believe on?

I was reading through the nativity sequence – virgin falls pregnant, travels to Bethlehem, gives birth to Jesus in a stable, shepherds and wise men come to see him – and realised that we rarely give Joseph much thought. Mary gets her fair share of accolades, and there’s a glitter and mystery around the wise men. Jesus is the main character, and rightly so. But Joseph tends to stay in the shadows, his role often downplayed or skimmed over, forgotten. I mean, think how many artists have depicted the virgin and child, Joseph strangely absent.

It’s easy to overlook the fact that these famous Christmas characters were everyday people. Mary and Joseph were ordinary folk chosen for an extraordinary purpose: to raise Jesus like their own child, and first child at that. So who was this Joseph, and why was he chosen as Jesus’ earthly father?

Joseph was loyal.

When he discovered Mary was pregnant I’m sure he thought what every average Jo would think – that she had been sleeping around. But this is how he responded: “Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly” (Matthew 1:19).

Joseph was faithful.

He listened to the angel in his dream who explained that Mary was pregnant with the Son of God. Despite the rather ludicrous nature of his vision, Joseph took a leap of faith and obeyed God’s missive.
“When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife” (Matthew 1:24).

Joseph was a protector.

After Jesus’ birth, King Herod felt his throne was threatened and ordered Jesus be killed. In fact, in a murderous fury he later ordered that all boys under the age of two in the vicinity of Bethlehem be slain. God told Joseph, again in a dream, to flee.
“So he got up, took the child and his mother during the night and left for Egypt, where he stayed until the death of Herod” (Matthew 2:14-15).

Joseph was practical.

He was a carpenter and passed on his skills to Jesus. Carpentry – especially in those days without our level of technology, was a trade that demanded patience.

These are just a few of Joseph’s characteristics – I’m sure much more can be learned about him by reading between the lines of the scriptures. But I’m so thankful for this man who obeyed God and raised Jesus with the love of a father. And that’s all that is expected of us – to be willing participants in God’s greater plan. Joseph could never have foreseen the importance of his role right there and then.

According to the Encyclopedia of Biblical Prophecy, 191 Old Testament prophecies were fulfilled by the birth, life and death of Jesus Christ. The chance of that many prophecies being fulfilled in the life of one man is 1 in 84 followed by 131 zero’s.

This is what that looks like: 84,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000,000,00.

Jesus was a big deal – and Joseph was part of his life.
Jesus still is a big deal – and he asks that we allow him to be part of our lives.

“If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved” (Romans 10:9).

Merry Christmas!

PS Thank you to my 43 followers and to others who frequent this blog or just randomly drop by. You are part of the reason I’m still writing *big hug*

PPS If you want to watch something that will make you smile, click here.

As printed in The Examiner Newspaper for Keeping the Faith column on Monday December 24, 2012.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that the current state of the romantic comedy is not so good. It’s been steadily deteriorating since the rise of the soulless overstuffed ensemble holiday movie and the beginning of the dark reign of Katherine Heigl. Meg Ryan has been ritualistically sacrificing her face in protest for years.

Romcom junkies like myself mourned the passing of our patron saint, Nora Ephron, by breaking out the classics. When Harry Met Sally and Sleepless in Seattle are the gold standard. But there was a time when Hollywood was kinder to us, and also churned out a series of relatively cheap and mostly inoffensive romantic comedies that are now largely relegated to the Wal-Mart $3.99 DVD bin. I’m here to point out a few of those films that deserve a better fate. Read on for six romcoms that I deem tragically underrated.

If you watched Just Friends once and thought it was just okay, I beg you to watch it again. And then watch it three more times. And from that point on, you will think it’s the funniest goddamn thing you’ve ever seen. It’s just that kind of movie.

Just Friends has everything you need in a Saturday afternoon Comedy Central movie: Ryan Reynolds in a fat suit; Anna Faris as a psychotic Britney-esque pop star (“You and I are gonna be the greatest musical manager team since Jessica Simpson and her father. Only you and I get to reooowr and they can’t, ’cause it’s illegal. I looked it up.”); the mom from What About Bob?; and some ruminations on whether we can ever truly escape high school.

It’s also immensely quotable, both in surprisingly clever one-liners (“You’re Chris Brander. You’re Hollywood, you date models. He’s Jersey, he skis in his jeans.”) or nonsensical outbursts (“TJ!”) And bonus for this time of year: it’s a Christmas movie! That means it will be on cable thousands of times over the next week, and you can quickly knock out the recommended number of viewings. PS: …Anna Faris.

Bob’s beloved wife Elizabeth dies in a car accident. Grace (Minnie Driver) is very sick, but gets Elizabeth’s heart in a transplant. Bob is completely destroyed until he meets Grace, who basically brings him back to life. The premise of this one is saccharine for sure (it’s the SAME HEART THAT LOVES HIM ALL ALONG), but don’t let it put you off. Return to Me is so simple and gorgeous, it’s stuns me every time I watch it. It’s a charmingly old-fashioned film completely devoid of irony and cynicism.

That’s not to say that Return to Me lacks raw emotion. Nope, nope, nope. Elizabeth’s death is brutal, and the movie lets poor Bob (and their dog, sob) mourn her. My favorite part is after Bob has first meets Grace and he makes an excuse to go back to her family’s Irish-Italian (yes) restaurant where she works. He gets on a step stool, takes a box down from a closet shelf, brushes off the dust, and puts on his good shoes for the first time in who knows how long. All my creys. No movie like this would be greenlit today, and that makes me incredibly sad.

Return to Me‘s other charms include: David Alan Grier and the fabulous Bonnie Hunt; signing gorillas; a Dean Martin-heavy soundtrack, obviously; the cutest old people YOU WILL EVER SEE; and permanent entry on my Common Law Top 5: David Duchovny.

Sanaa Lathan is a thinking woman’s romcom queen (Love and Basketball, Something New), but Brown Sugar is far and away her best. Dre (Taye Diggs) and Sid have best friends since childhood, when their favorite thing to do was go to the playground and listen to their neighbors freestyle. They grew up right along with hip hop and both take its preservation and legacy personally – so much so that Syd became a respected music journalist and Dre started his own label to rediscover “the real deal.” They’re also so clearly in love with each other that it almost makes sense that they choose to ignore it. You can see the wheels turning in their heads – this is going to be it for them, but neither one of them is quite ready for it yet. There’s too much work to do. But then boyfriends and girlfriends are entering the picture, and waiting starts to seem like a really dumb idea.

The rest of the cast is killer. Queen Latifah and Mos Def play their equally frustrated sidekicks, while Nicole Ari Parker and Boris Kodjoe are the aforementioned SOs. Seriously, everyone in this movie is hot. And they have flawless houses and wear really nice sweaters. Exhibit A:

Edward Norton’s directorial debut stars him and Ben Stiller as, well, clerical bros. Rabbi Jacob Schram (“OH RABBI JACOB SCHRAM!”) and Father Brian Finn are basically religious rock stars in their native Manhattan or, as they like to call themselves, “The God Squad.” They’re freakin’ adorable.

Their friendship is shaken for the first time by the reappearance of the third childhood Musketeer, Type-A business lady Anna Riley (Jenna Elfman). While she and Jake realize that they’re might be something there, Brian struggles with the first real feelings of desire and regret that have ever threatened his chosen way of life. (“I mean, she’s like your sister!” “Thank you for adding new depth to my confusion.”)

I’m not religious. At all. But I did make my mom really mad once by telling her that I would go to church if Edward Norton were my priest. #Truth

If you’ve ever wanted to see Gollum do the “Thriller” dance with Sidney Bristow, Kitty Sanchez, and the Hulk, then this is the movie for you.

Jennifer Garner is just lovely in 13 Going on 30, a Big-esque story about a girl who wishes her way into adulthood and finds out what her life would be like if she decided in high school to devote herself to becoming a cool, mean girl. This is Your Life, Regina George.

I can identify with this movie, because I often find my inner-tween making my life decisions. And the moral of the story here is that that may not be such a bad thing sometimes. Also, be super nice to your nerdy junior high best friend and lock that shit down, because he’ll probably grow up to be Mark Ruffalo.

Ahhh, Friends with Kids. As the only movie on this list made in our current decade, you are my hope for the future.

First of all, THAT CAST. Wiig. Hamm. Rudolph. O’Dowd. *coughMeganFoxcough*. And Jennifer Westfeldt (who also wrote and directed) and our co-reigning Sexiest Man Alive, Adam Scott, as two platonic friends who decide to have a baby together without doing the whole relationship thing. Their friends are, well, less than confident.

This is a movie made by grown-ups, about grown-ups, and FOR grown-ups, which these days is about as rare as finding a unicorn in Central Park. And you get to hear Ben Wyatt say stuff like this:

So Hollywood business-types, if we could get a little more Friends with Kids and a little less Playing for Keeps, that would be peachy. I promise we can handle it.

Readers, did I leave off your favorite romcom underdog? Leave it in the comments.

2012 has been, in a word, incredible.

I was looking at my high school yearbook the other day. I’ve started on my college blurb, so that it will be ready by the time I graduate next year. It’s hard to believe that I’ve only got three semesters left, and even harder to believe that because I’m in a five year program, 98% of my batch-mates either just graduated, or will graduate this coming summer.

The season where life is pervaded by friends’ college graduations and weddings has begun for me. Off the top of my head, I count seven weddings within the past 12 months, and five more engagements which will lead to weddings within the next 9 months. I’m sure I’m forgetting a few.

God is so good. I’ve been reflecting recently on where I was four years ago, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. Sometime within the past two months, I found this post. I read it, breathed, bookmarked it, and promptly forgot about it. A couple of weeks ago, I started reading How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk, which Mum and Dad had the sound parental foresight to give me shortly after I started college, and which I did not have the sense to immediately dive into. But then, I wasn’t really in a good position to digest it, anyway. (Logic Behind Love, Part VI post coming up, probably focused on the concept of Pinoy courtship.)

Like gracefortheroad, I used to wear a ring that read, “true love waits.” Also like her, I don’t wear it anymore. Not quite for the same reasons, though.

I took that ring off for work reasons and promptly lost it in the tall metal laundry hamper where all of our lab coats and work uniforms went at the end of the day. Oops. I can’t recall now if I was particularly bothered. I know I did search fruitlessly for it shortly afterwards, with no luck. That was sometime in 2010.

I wear a new ring now. Couldn’t tell you exactly when I got this one, but it reads, “I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “Plans to give you a future and a hope, plans for prosperity and not calamity.” Jer 29:11.

Four years ago, I could never have foreseen the countless blessings with which I have been showered. I cannot say that I am particularly proud of my 18-year old self, but I am grateful to have also been graced with the acceptance which enables me not to cringe anymore at those recollections, but only to smile a little sadly and shake my head. My life is beautiful, and He has been nothing short of completely faithful, in spite of my unfaithfulness.

Between the re-election of the most anti-Life, anti-American president history has ever seen, the passing of the RH Bill in our homeland, all this talk of the end of the world courtesy of the Mayan calendar… I feel – and I think many who are close to me do also – the world, groaning, and aching from the evil that presses in on every side.

SPOILER ALERT #1

My favorite lines from Snow White and the Huntsman: Iron will melt, but it will writhe inside of itself. All of these years, all I’ve known is darkness, but I have never seen a brighter light than when my eyes just opened, and I know that light burns in all of you. Those embers must turn to flame; iron into sword. I will become your weapon, forged by the fierce fire that I know is in your hearts… I’d rather die today than live another day of this death. Who will ride with me? Who will be my brother?

The spiritual battle rages. Those who choose to be blind to the horror of the reality that is abortion cannot be blind to the horror of other incidents which we have grieved for, as a country, this year. No one can ignore the senseless taking of lives at an elementary school, a movie theater, among other places.

None of us have time to be wasting, waiting, waiting for better circumstances or ‘right times’, to live.

SPOILER ALERT #2

I went to the midnight premiere of The Hobbit on Thursday with some of our closest friends. Galadriel asks Gandalf, “Why the hobbit?” In his reply, Gandalf muses aloud that he believes that it is not merely the great and the powerful that can make differences in the world, but that it is the little people and the little quiet acts of kindness that really keep evil at bay.

This year has been a year for adventures. Between Michigan, swing dancing, three awesome series[es...es] of Theology on Tap, losing friends, making friends, recognizing and building the really important friendships, losing jobs, getting new jobs, weddings, graduations, being blown, being disillusioned, HomeLIFE and Fresh and the Young Adult groups of St. Max and St. John’s, all the beautiful food and alcohol that I’ve appreciated, movie outings, shopping trips, coffee and dinner dates, future mommy circle building, present mommy circle invading, and watching my siblings grow and grow and grow… I feel like my faith life went through some sort of growth spurt this year.

Yeah, I know, how did all that add up?

Legit, though.

If there is one thing that I dare to claim I’ve done better in the course of this past year, than I’ve done in any other of my 21 years previous, its having lived this year to the fullest. I cannot honestly recall any great personal [perceived] tragedy this year. History has been made, the world endures great evil, I’ve had my bad days and my down days, but this year has been a year of hope for me, a year of trust, and a year of great love. I dare to claim that I have the most awesome family in the world, and the most awesome friends possible [while sincerely praying that every other person in the world manages to reach a point in their life when they can say the same of their own respective circles].

I have been surrounded by kindness and love this year. I cannot even begin to articulate how overwhelming it has been, all of the time. We all have our chosen moments of loneliness, and I have certainly had mine, but He has not allowed me to truly believe that I have ever been alone.

KK used to speak and sing of that Blessed Assurance.

More recently, we – my family – have been talking a lot about The Four Last Things.

We’ve been discussing persecution and martyrdom and homeschooling and whatnot.

All this evil happening in the world – it’s all connected. [Duh.] We cannot afford to be weary and worn for too long; we need our grieving time, but we have to rise again and keep on fighting. We cannot be weighed down by what we might be tempted or even forced to perceive as the devil’s victories. I have hope because I have seen how the Church has woken up and responded to these attacks. There may have been instances of too little, too late, but my focus is on the fact that there has been a response, and the magnitude of the response from the faithful is nothing to sneeze at. Would you believe, even the non-Catholics have noticed (although they do a terrible job of trying to explain it).

It hurts me so much that the greatest sickness that I see in some of the circles I move in more regularly, is a lack of understanding of, quite simply, the essence of humanity.

I’ve been meditating on this a lot of late. Mostly while listening to the radio.

So much of modern pop culture is sickeningly fake and whiny. Quintessential examples would be Katy Perry’s Last Friday Night and Cher Lloyd’s Want U Back. Among a million other things I could complain about, they completely miss, undermine, and ultimately very thoroughly decimate the true essence of what it is to be a woman, strong and steady and genuine.

And yet, it is hardly surprising. Modern feminism continues to degrade further into not only an anti-woman mindset/stance/lifestyle, but also anti-man and ultimately anti-human one. Too many males are sadly, disgustingly content to sit back and watch the females in their lives destroy themselves, and somehow even manage to derive a detestable amount of entertainment from it.

No, this post is not digressing into a declaration that everyone should listen to nothing but “contemporary Christian alternative.” That, too, would be a mistake.

Just as the shadow proves the sunshine, maybe it is that the true value of pure joy is revealed in light of our sorrow.

So much of humanity is characteristically sorrowful. How can we not be?? We have instincts and longings for infinite measures of Truth, of Goodness, and of Beauty. And we cannot be satisfied by anything on this earth! How can we not experience great sorrow at the lack of satisfaction in this lifetime?

One of the greatest mistakes we can make in our attempts to live out the Gospel and in our attempts to evangelize is to completely bypass that first step of recognizing that longing, that need, that desperation for the infinite, and that resulting utter sorrow in the deep emptiness that comes of craving more Truth and Beauty and Goodness than this world can possibly hold. How can Christ offer us peace and joy and happiness if we refuse to acknowledge that we have not peace, that we have not joy, that we have not happiness in the things of this world? Can you appreciate a sunset enough? Can you watch the sun set and say it is too much and you do not wish for more of its magnificence?

And frankly, that’s how we’ve got to reach people. They’re so closed to the whole Jesus loves you mantra. One of the most important and best things that we can work on during this Year of Faith is learning about ourselves, because salvation is all about us, in that He already is Everything; we are the ones who gain heaven, or lose it.

There was a reason why Apologize was named the song of the year when I was nearing the end of high school. It was when I was just beginning to study the Theology of the Body. It speaks of the sorrow and the brokenness of the world, that all of humanity, regardless of specifics of circumstance, could relate to this one song as if its story were all their own. Because it is.

The world is miserable. It is miserable, it longs, and does not know where to look. The worst part is that all the answers are written on our hearts. The sickness is that the world looks to separate us from the real depth that our heart actually has the capacity for – a capacity for emptiness, and a capacity to be filled, and to be overflowing with love, truth, beauty, and goodness.

Katy Perry and Cher Lloyd - Are they actually trying to fill the emptiness that pervades our being? All I see in their music is a stubborn denial of the emptiness.

So go listen to some OneRepublic, The Script, Mat Kearney, Audrey Assad, Sarah McLachlan. Go enjoy a gloomy day! Seriously. Go get in touch with the characteristic misery of humanity. And in doing so, discover that you were made for, pure, eternal, unadulterated joy. That’s what I’ve been discovering this year, in a million different ways and through a million different people. God be praised.

Ok, so this blog post is one of my crazier brain dumps, and it also happens to be a winter cleaning of the drafts folder.

Did I ever blog about my 21st birthday? I don’t think so… because I had a draft entitled “How our dreams do change…” and began so:

Depending on my template at the time of your reading this, there ought to be an About the Author column somewhere on the page. Four years ago, it read thus:

Bound for Cinci State + UC, dual major in Culinary Arts & Science and Voice, followed by an MA in Theology at Steubie, after which, she intends to give a year entirely to the Lord as a Full-Time Mission Worker for the Singles & Youth for Christ FFL, and she trusts that at the end of that year, He will lead her to where she should be.

Yesterday, I turned 21. I haven’t any particularly profound revelations or pretty words for the event. I had plans to stay safe and out of trouble at the end of the shift, but otherwise my Spring Break was going to be spent working. Whether I caught it from Dad or Sami or Matt is beside the point, but I ended up in bed on Wednesday with influenza A and was subsequently ordered to sleep and stay away from people until tomorrow. So God gave me my Spring Break, loaded with medications, but now that I’m past feeling like someone deliberately dislocated each of my joints and snapped them back into place just to highlight every injury and potential injury I’ve ever gotten or could have in either of the two dangerous sports I chose to pursue with my life and see how I would deal with it… I’m fine.

It was nice to catch up on sleep, punctuated as it was with headaches and perspiration and alarms going off for one of the twelve pills I needed to take within a 24 hour period.

Aaaaannndddd… that was as far as I got. I suppose I should include here that the sidebar currently reads:

Conservative; Roman Catholic; Pinay; the oldest of five children; having attended public school and Catholic school as well as having had the privilege of being an early homeschool graduate; a graduate of the Culinary Arts Technology program at The Midwest Culinary Institute; currently in her Senior year in the University of Cincinnati’s Culinary Arts & Science Program; her greatest ambition is to be a wife and a mother and raise Saints for God – though whether that dream is to be realized in the convent or in marriage is still being discerned.

Whew.

What really makes me laugh is that my blog header [and twitter tagline] both state very clearly that I do not live life by birthdays or new years, and that’s a really good thing, because New Year’s Eve and my birthday were literally the two of the suckiest days of this year. Both were my own fault, and the sort of fault that you can’t help. Like, you know, I didn’t ask for influenza, but if I preferred to lie in bed and feel terrible, there was nothing anyone else could really do about it, and therefore, my fault. I guess ‘fault’ isn’t really the right word.

Anyway.

What a cliffhanger, but I really should finish that post about how my dreams have changed.

I feel like I’ve talked about it a lot already, though, without having specifically dedicated a blog post to the subject…

Oh, yeah, the semester is over. I made it. I don’t like semesters – I still miss 9-week terms – but I pulled through with two A’s, two B+’s, and two B’s. Not incredible. And definitely no chance of me graduating with something remotely near a 4.0. Oh well. Try for better next year.

CRASH is in the title of this blog post, because it really did go CRASH at the end. Three classes ended up being two-part finals, half being written and half being a presentation. Two finals were online and they were no joke. And the last and most fun final was split up into three concerts over the course of 48 hours, and included my first [and probably last] solo part as a member of the UC Choruses. Little personal victory for me – I was told by a number of people that I should join Cabaret. Tempting, but the rehearsal hours don’t agree with my love for getting home relatively earlier on weeknights, and getting to work and have late night adventures on weekends. Still, it’s nice to know people think I’d be good enough to get in. Along those same lines, someone at Mass actually said I should drop culinary arts and focus on my voice. I really hope he wasn’t offended that I sort of just… laughed. Uhmmm…. other little personal victory for me was my wine presentation. Not that I was particularly happy about what I managed to cover within a very short fifteen minutes, but Prof T wanted to know what program I had used (Prezi – The Science of Wine Flavor), Kayla commented that I’d barely looked at the screen and said I’d done a really good job giving the presentation, Svetlana said I’d “spoken like a true sommelier,” and Seth appreciated that I got the cork out of the Merlot without popping it. Win.

Speaking of wine, that would be a big factor in a how-my-dreams-have-changed post, if I were to write it. Hm. And LOL, Sanders said something to the effect that we should count on our Discovering Wine class to be ridiculously hard, and not being able to make heads or tails of it or remember anything we learned after the class. I took that quietly as a personal challenge and have resolved to pass that class with flying colors, “like a true sommelier.” Besides, I’ve got to study for Level II, so let’s kill two birds with one stone, shall we?

Oooooops, killing’s bad. And we like birds. So… you know…

It is so strange having a winter break without homework. This has never happened in my entire life-since-I-started-school. I guess it’s one nice thing about semesters. God is good.

It means that I have time to be writing ridiculously long and random blog posts, but it also means that my room is cleaner than it ever has been since before I left for Michigan, that I’m sewing and not feeling guilty about it, that I have time to write Christmas cards and try to think of more meaningful Christmas gifts, that I’m planning to catch up with a number of extremely important people – namely Steffy and Marybeth and Cory and Anthony and Michelle and Nate and Ben and Aaron and Anna Marie and Cat and Natalie and Gabe and… you get the idea, and I’m sorry if I didn’t mention you, but you know that I love you – and finally, that I’ve responded to a number of sub requests for psalmists which means that I’m cantoring on 12/30, 01/06, 01/20, and 2/17, which is the most I’ve cantored in a two-month period since ever joining any parish-based music ministry.

DID I MENTION MY NEW GUITAR CAME???

The Ibanez officially died, and has been unplayable since I got home from Michigan. I haven’t played guitar for Mass since May. And I won’t again until… Oh, look at that, 01/12. Wow. The point is, with us investing in a new transmission for the Subaru instead of buying a car for me (a decision which I have since remained absolutely THRILLED about – the Subaru’s running like new and I love it even more than I did before), I decided to invest in a guitar that would last me the rest of my life with the money I would otherwise have spent on a new car. Yeah… Don’t ask me how much I did spend. Just know that it’s a Taylor.

FIREWORKS.

I take comfort in knowing that God keeps His promises. It is the waiting for the promise that can be frustrating. You see I know faith is required to endure the waiting process but it is not easy. I am am conditioned to not be patient. I am bombarded with products that are supposed to make my life easier but only make it more confusing. Nothing I do and nothing I have can replace the desire for God’s promises. That is why it is frustrating. I trying to work for the promise but God wants to give the promise.

What I am realizing is when I stop looking for the promise I will see the promise. I don’t have to work for it but surrender to it. God has great things in store for me and if I keep the faith I will be great. You see as He told Abram I will make you a great nation. I am the promise. When I surrender to what God has spoken over my life. He will make me great, I just follow His lead.

Meanwhile, Master Nearly-Two stepped forward and tried to blow out all those twinkling little lights that so resembled candles! And we laughed till our sides hurt.

I love the spirit of Christmas, those moments of love, joy and peace. They are achievable, believe it or not, when we allow ourselves time to soak in the reason behind our traditions. In one of the recent Feast magazines, Hobart foodie Matthew Evans said, “All of us need a wake-up call to get back in touch; to give for giving’s sake; to invite and be invited; to host and be hosted. To feed and be fed.” To give and receive in the spirit of Christmas: with unshakable joy.

It’s a tough one when there is so much pressure to spend big and impress with the latest and greatest. Then we get stressed when we can’t find the right gift and the December 25 deadline is looming. See, I thought this would be the case. What on earth are you going to buy for those people on your list who already have it all?

Take a chill pill and tune in to Claire’s Gift Guide, five ideas for those who defy your shopping expertise:

1. A Mosquito Net. Children in places like Mozambique die when they do not have mosquito netting and the pesky insect injects them with a death dose of malaria. World Vision Australia accepts donations to right this inconceivable wrong, and at Christmas they do it in the name of your friend or family member. Love it.
2. A chicken ($16), a goat ($45) or a pig ($80). Compassion has a gift catalogue of weird and wonderful things that give twice; once to your mate and once to a child in need. The items are life-changers, giving these poor people anything from sustenance or a livelihood to life itself.
3. Okay, okay. So your gift recipient isn’t into all that goodwill stuff and you want to get them something that they will enjoy personally. Why don’t you buy them tickets to one of the charity balls – they’re a load of fun! A Night of Compassion features the ABBA show Bjorn Again, March 16 at $180 a ticket.
4. Shop at places like Oxfam. For every dollar you spend, put another into a good cause. Put a gift under the ABC Giving Tree. Check out eBay’s GiveOne initiative: you grab a tag off the virtual tree on the website, choose a gift in your price range and then eBay gives it to a child in an Australian hospital on your behalf. Sorry, got a bit carried away there…
5. Finally, at the very least, shop locally. Our retailers are doing it tough and it isn’t helped by people doing their shopping online.

It’s easy to be generous to our loved-ones, but Christmas should remind us of need beyond our little worlds.

“Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will repay him for his deed,” we read in Proverbs 19:17.

Anyway, when you give a present like those above, it doesn’t matter so much if they don’t like it. You at least have the assurance that someone will benefit.

As printed in The Examiner Newspaper for Keeping the Faith column on Monday December 17.

You see, I lost my baby.

I was 12 weeks pregnant when my miscarriage happened, about six weeks ago. It’s still raw.
Why would I write about something so personal, you ask? Not for your sympathy. No. Rather, because I have learnt that miscarriage is a common sadness (about one in five pregnancies end in miscarriage), one that many women carry in silence, on their own.

Let’s not do that.

I didn’t meet my baby, didn’t know his or her personality, likes and dislikes, quirks and habits. I just knew there was life within me, life brimming with potential. Yet the grief has been deep and painful and suffocating. A mother’s love for her child is full-blown from conception – I can attest to that.

You may think I have grounds for changing the name of this column to ‘Losing the Faith’, but I assure you, never has my faith in God been stronger or of greater comfort.

God cares.

He has fed us (meals delivered by friends).
He has nurtured us (long talks with confidants).
He has looked after my health (wonderful medical care).
He has shown us beauty (the perfume of flowers has filled our home).

God has whispered light into my heart.

The heaviness I spoke of has lessened because of this picture that unraveled in my mind one night as I was waiting for sleep: “…an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone” (Matthew 28:2).

God has rolled back the stone of grief on my spirit. Jesus rose again. There is life after death, hope after hardship.

I have lamented the fact I don’t know if our baby was a boy or girl, that we have not been able to definitively name them. Even to this sorrow, God gave an answer.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He determines the number of stars and calls them each by name. Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit” (Psalm 147:3-5).

You might call it a creative interpretation, but from this verse I gain great assurance that if God knows the stars by name, he certainly knows our baby by name, and he has the company of our little person in heaven.

I will never know why our baby died.

But I do know this: just because our baby didn’t make it beyond the womb, doesn’t mean they were not life. Just because there was no funeral doesn’t mean we have no right to grieve. Just because I had no chance to rock them in my arms, doesn’t mean I did not love.

The Teddy Love Club provides support for parents who experience miscarriage. Click here to visit the website or call 1800 824 240.

As printed in The Examiner Newspaper for Keeping the Faith column on Monday December 10, 2012.