I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.
3 John 4

I have committed myself to being a Super Mom – lead by the Holy Spirit and guiding my children using principles from the Bible.  It is a hard road, one that requires constant change.  I cannot sit idle as my house becomes a mess, nor can I sit idle when I learn new truths that require a choice: to change or ignore.  As I shared in my last post, I have found a new source of wisdom, one that draws from the Bible: nogreaterjoy.org (ngj).

After spending nearly all day reading everything on that site that I thought might pertain to me, my brain hurts but my heart is joyful and excited.  I look forward to the changes taking place in me and my family.  I believe that being a wife and mom should be a joy, though lately it has been nothing but a chore for me.  My husband and I have commitment issues – not to each other, but to our word.  Our word means very little; we say, “I will…” but do not.  It is a frustrating and unintentional issue.  I have made it my goal to be trustworthy and reliable in my word, letting my “yes be yes and my no be no.” But my husband has not made that choice yet and it has made our marriage frustrating at times.  Additionally, my children have taken on fighting with each other, among other things.  As for myself, my health is failing in a most uncomfortable way and it makes me feel unwilling to rise and meet the day.

Yet reading these articles on the ngj website have renewed my strength and made me joyful of the changes to come.

I pray that God will guide me as I work to change my focus and share with my husband the views I suggest we change.  I also pray that God guide me as I work to improve my health, so that I made succeed in being as Super as possible, not feeling a pull to be idle due to discomfort and fatigue.

(It is not a matter of not knowing WHAT to do for my health, but more a matter of DOING IT!)

Please, reader, keep me in your prayers also.  The prayers of fellow believers are a great gift.

God help me.

Super Mom

After much deliberation, we enrolled her before Sean graduate from LF. Sean will be there a month to phase Sara into LF. For today, he did well in guiding Sara around the school.

We brought her to Plaza Singapura to get a school bag. There is not much school bags for sale here. I cannot find any Dora or Barney bag here. She went into the shop and told us that she liked the Bee bag.  She carried and refused to let go of it. Yap, other than owl, she likes bees and butterflies ….

Picked this bag for herself. ‘ I like bees” …. she said.

Sara: ‘ Mommy, I like this too.” 

Mommy: ” You can only get one bag for school.”

Sara : ” OK. Bee bag”

She is so interested in this ducky bank…. for her coins.

On her 1^st day of preschool … a big day for all of us indeed. Her two brothers helped her positioned her bag. Sean ensured that her hair is not too messy.

My mom did the QC check on the items in her bag. She told me that Sara will come back for lunch and naps. Yap, my mom always tell me that the school food and napping condition  could be improved… so to her… if possible - Sara has to take lunch and nap at home……blah… blah…. blah… OK, will adhere to that routine for a start.

A group photo before going off.

She refused to go into the school initially. After a few minutes of coaxing, she went in with Sean. He told her to go in for some biscuit.  I left the school so as not to upset her further. I came back after two hours to pick her back. The principal went to check on her.  Yap, Sara is doing fine in school. She communicates well with the teachers and friends.

Her classmates.

 Before she goes home, she said good bye to everyone.

When we reached home…. I asked her if she could name one of her school mates… she nodded her head and said : ”Nicole”.

I reckoned that she will be ok for a while… till the novelty of school  wears off after a week. So, for the time being…… she still look forward to school tomorrow. After a week…..we shall take it from there then.

As usual, school and life have kept me from blogging regularly – and I’m a little backlogged on things to talk about, so I’m just going to start fresh.

Life:
Bobo turned 3 a week ago!
I’m always surprised at how fast children grow, and Bobo is no exception.  Every day I notice how much older he looks, how tall he gets, and how much his vocabulary broadens; sometimes I just love to sit and stare at him with his brother and count my blessings.
Enough with the sappy mom talk, here’s a photo of him (with his Toy Story treasures) on his birthday!

Knitting:
I was making some great progress on my Bernhardt cardigan until I got to the shoulder/sleeve/neck shaping.  It’s the first time I’ve had to work at 2 separate (but together) sections of a project at one time, so I’ve hit a bit of a roadblock.  Staci helped me figure out what I was confused about, but now I’ve reached another speedbump.  UGH.  I’ll get it figured out, but in the meantime I finished a pair of Bella Mittens for Jessica (I didn’t get a photo), some crochet projects for The Knitting Nest, and another Ishbel shawl.
I won’t talk about the crochet projects in this post because I need to take photos, but I will show you how much I love my Ishbel shawl.
All photos were taken by Amanda Klaus (thanks, Amanda!!) and as usual there are more in my flickr stream.

Details (Ravelry details here)
Pattern: Ishbel by Ysolda Teague
Yarn: Spinning Colors Fingering in “Baroque”
Needles: US 8
Notes: I made the small size, but since I used a larger needle than what the pattern calls for I got a larger shawl than the first one I made.  I’m really happy with the way it turned out, and I still have yarn left over.

School:
The fall semester is pretty much over and I could not be happier.  It’s been a rough semester because out of 3 classes, I only enjoy 1 of them, but I am looking forward to the Spring semester because I’m taking 4 art classes and NO CORE classes whatsoever.  I’ll be enrolled in Painting I, Fibers III, Intro to Traditional Photography (I get to get back in the dark room!!!) and Art History.  I’ll be really busy, but I think it’s going to be a lot of fun.

That’s all for now, I’ll get some crochet updates up soon.

Gue sekarang ngerti dan bisa memahami kenapa nyokap gue selalu mellow kalo ngelepas kita2 balik ke Aussie setiap abis liburan di rumah. Pasti krn pedih bgt rasanya berpisah sama anak2nya. Gue udah ngalamin kepedihan seperti itu, sakit banget rasanya berpisah sama my lovely kiddos. Perihhh… bgt!! Gak sabar rasanya nunggu tgl 15 Des buat balik lagi ke Jakarta, trus tgl 19 Des the whole family officially move to Balikpapan.

Barusan gue nelpon ke rumah, as usual my K#2 yg angkat telpon. Trus dia tanya, “mama kapan pulangnya?, jangan lama2 ya”. Gue kasi tau aja kalo gue pulang nanti tgl 15. Gue yakin dia blom ngerti konsep tgl, blom tau selama apa dia harus menunggu sampe tgl tsb. Trus abis itu dia nangis, “mau sama mama, dede mau sama mama”. Trus abis itu sambil masih nangis dia nutup telpon. Duuuuhh… hancur hati gue ngedenger nya. Gak tega.. Kasian anak2 gue harus pisah jauh dari orang tuanya di usia yg masih semuda itu. Liburan long weekend kemaren cuma menghapus sedikit kerinduan, malah setelahnya jadi lebih pedih rasanya.

Semoga my kiddos selalu dalam perlindunganNya…

Moira’s been going to the same ballet school since she was four, and all that time we’ve been dressing up and watching the annual Nutcracker Ballet put on by her school the weekend after Thanksgiving. We’ve seen costumes and scenery change from year to year. We’ve watched party girls grow up to become Sugar Plum fairies and Snow Queens. And Moira’s grown from a little girl decked head to toe in polka dots and costume jewelry watching the “big girl” mice battle the soldiers, to a fine young lady sporting mouse ears and whiskers herself.

Moira tried out for the Nutcracker the first week of September and was assigned the role of a mouse in the first act, and a sheep in the second act. She faithfully rehearsed every Saturday for months, and every night of the past week (except Thanksgiving Day) until 10 o’clock at night, and then the shows began. Now she’s almost done with all her performances. All her most loyal fans – family and friends – are going to the last performance tonight. I can’t wait to sit in the audience and watch Moira on stage.

I helped out backstage, and so was able to take a few pictures. Above is Moira with one of the soldiers, and below are the mice with their beloved Rat Queen (our ballet school is lacking in boys, so we always have a Rat Queen instead of a King).

The older girls who get parts that involve younger girls (the Rat Queen with her mice, the Sugar Plum Fairy with her angels, Dutch Chocolate with her little Dutch girls) all give token gifts to their young charges. Moira received Max the Christmas Mouse from her Rat Queen, and has vowed never to eat him. (She did fondle him so much through the packaging that his nose and cheese melted.)

And here’s Moira the little sheep. Apparently one of the benefits of the sheep costume is the capability to put ones’ knees inside the baggy body. There were sheep balled up all over the dressing room.

Our Nutcracker is a small-town production. We use recorded music rather than live, the backdrop for the Sugar Plum palace is shockingly ugly, and there are little mistakes in every show – and yet the sum is so much more than the parts. The costumes are so well done, and are improved every year, the older dancers do their own choreography and help the little ones, and through it all the spirit of Christmas shines. It really becomes a magical production. Moira has loved the experience, and I’m looking forward to the Nutcrackers of years to come, and of eventually watching Eva and Iris dance too.

I love Thanksgiving.  This is the day to sit back and reflect on all that is right in life and make a vow to keep a positive attitude from now on.  Of course I can’t be positive every day of the year, but it’s still nice to get an attitude adjustment from time-to-time and today was the day.

Normally we celebrate this day with a big family dinner, but my oldest girl has been running a fever the past few days, so we stayed home.  Despite the change in plans, my husband, our girls and I had a fantastic day.  We ended up cooking a full, traditional Thanksgiving meal and I made the best dessert – Paula Deen’s pumpkin gooey butter cakes.  Delicious!  After dinner and a Barbie movie, we decided to put up the Christmas tree a little early.  The point is that we were all together and all healthy despite a slight fever and that’s all that mattered.  The girls even dressed in their chosen holiday outfits for our stay-at-home dinner.  Maybe it’s because we got them new boots and they felt the need to get out of the pajamas!  Check out a few photos of our day:

My girls ~ vintage style:

Posing for a quick outdoor photo:

Stella’s rockin’ suede crush boots:

She was fascinated with the side zipper:

Here’s hoping you enjoyed your day and paused for a moment to give thanks for all your blessings.  I wish you well this holiday season. 

I leave you with a quick glimpse of one of our favorite Christmas images:

Gak sabar nunggu sore, mau pulang ke Jakarta. Udah kangen banget sama my kiddos nih. Lumayan long weekend jadi bisa agak lamaan di rumah. But my boy besok Senin udah UAS nih, jadi gak bisa santai2 deh. Harus belajar dulu, baru jalan2 ya, sayang…

Doooohhhh… masih lama ya sorenya….

That beautiful family pictured above is my last official session before my baby girl gets here.  Besides two newborns that arrived I’m done working for the rest of 2009!  I’m having a scheduled c-section on Dec 7th!  Anyways, back to this lovely family:

They were so much fun.  We rescheduled our session because of weather but it turned out to be a GORGEOUS day on Green Mountain.  One of the sweetest things about this family was the relationship between brother and sister:

There were so many tiny signs pointing to their love.  Like this next shot where she is holding his hand (SO CUTE):

Big brother is very handsome, Although I’m not ready for my big boy to look this big yet!

He had a very sweet demeanor too:

And one more of big brother for good measure!

Little sister was alot of fun herself.  Full of personality!

She has the prettiest brown eyes too.  So soulful:

Last but not least one more of the pretty girl!  I love the smile, so adorable:

S family, thank you SO much for a wonderful afternoon.  It was awesome to meet you and I can’t wait to show you the rest!

Check back Saturday for a sweet baby girl, my tiniest newborn so far!  And a 2010 Schedule announcement!

Had been real busy preparing Sean 6th birthday party. He requested to invite his Little Fairyland K1 and K2 classmates over for his birthday. I agreed… and told him that only LF classmates will be invited. Got the boys to do the birthday invites. Recruited Owen and Nicole to help out in the painting of goodie boxes on Saturday. So what do we have….  half of  LF children + the kiddos cousins = more than 35 children in our house last Sun. We had a great time. I will upload the birthday party photos in the next blog post. 

Today is Sean’s 6th birthday. We brought him, Shayne and Faith out for a Japanese dinner… followed by a HD ice- cream with all.

HAPPY 6TH BIRTHDAY SEAN

OK…. now back to Sean’s P1 orientation…..

Sean had his Tao Nan School P1 orientation on 21 Nov 09. He has been looking forward to this orientation for months. We gathered in the school hall at 9 am. Along the way to the school hall, we met Faith in school. She told me to get Sean’s text book before the orientation cos’ if we get the text book after the orientation, the bookshop queue will be very long. So smart of her…. I had wanted to but gotto rushed to the school hall with Sean.

This is the first time I attended a P1 orientation. The school orientation started off with the students performing Chinese Orchestra, followed by Wu Shu performance. Papa kept asking why this school is so Chinese orientated….anyway, Tao Nan is a Chinese School. I overheard the teachers that lead the student orientation conversed in Mandarin to the children. I reckoned Sean will face a slight problem in his first year here cos’ he cannot really understand Mandrian.

Not much emphasis was placed on school curriculum. Parents Support Group chairman briefed us on their PSG work scope and the workshops they will be conducting on the first day of school. The PSG appeared very strong and active in this school. I had wanted to sign up for these workshops, but after second thought, gave it a miss cos’ I am unsure if I can attend these workshop due to my work commitment. I will try to take two weeks off from work to phase Sean into P1…in my opinion, it is important to get him to adhere to the routine. I am still working out my work schedule to accommodate this. My job as an architect is hinge on Sean’s school result… if he cannot cope in his school work, I really have to quit my job to guide him.  

After the Wu Shu performance, the teachers led these children to their classrooms and around the school compound. Sean will be  Class 1C in year 2010 . His school mates, Rio and Zhi Qi, will be in class 1B and 1E ,respectively. We met Sean halfway through his orientation while we were led to his classroom to fill up some forms for his P1 registration. He smile at us before walking off with the teachers….from that smile, I bet he liked this school.

Sean’s P1 classroom. Bright and airy.

Sean spotted us when we returned for him.

Sean and Rio

Father and Son. Similar in character and appearance…..

We picked him up from the school hall after we completed filling-in the necessary P1 forms. Sean asked to buy drinks from the school canteen… wow… that’s fast. I rejected his request cos’ we have to rush to TS to pick Shayne and proceed to the airport to pick his gugus. Due to these ….we also skipped buying of books and uniform on the orientation day.

Yesterday, my mom asked me if I have bought Sean’s P1 text book and uniform ( She somehow forgotten to ask me on Sat after the school orientation cos’ of Sean birthday party preparation). I told her not yet as we have a few things to do after the other day school orientation. She got mad and reprimanded me for being such a ‘ Bo chap’ mom. I was thinking… I am the most ‘kiasu’ mom among my friends already…. how can I be a ‘bo chap’ mom. Anyway, she brought up the examples that her friends grandkids who went for the same orientation have bought their text books and uniform. She further reminded us to set our priorities right for the things we are required to do.  See that, when it comes to her grandkids’ welfare or education….. they have to be placed above all things.

This is the first time after so many years….. perhaps more than 20 years….. that I sensed her dissatisfation with me.  After that talk, I immediately searched for the school folder with the available procurement dates for the school text books and uniform. I will definately bring Sean to get his text book and uniform om the next available date… ie this Sun.

A very good friend once helped me with an issue I was having.  We are constantly teaching Cassie correct and incorrect behavior.  For example, throwing a fist-flinging, leg-kicking fit is not okay, but communicating your feelings strongly is okay, even with tears. Or another example: smoking and damaging your body is not okay, but keeping your temple clean is best.

So, as an observant child, Cassie would notice other children and people doing these many things that we had told her were not okay.  With the good heart she has, and very outspoken nature like her mother, she would say, “oh he’s smoking! That is bad! Its not good for his body!” right in front of the smoker, which would be quite embarrassing.

One day I asked Amy, who had two boys of her own, what she did in such cases.  She shared how she tells her children that it is okay for that person but not for her children.  Until today I thought that to be a great idea.  But today I realized maybe not.  Everything we teach Cassie is from the Bible.  Where in the Bible does it say that its okay for some people to sin but not others?  It doesn’t.  The Bible clearly says that all have sinned and all sinners go to hell without the covering of Christ’s blood and God’s forgiveness. (Romans 3:22-24) In essence, we were unintentionally teaching her that sin is okay for some people.

I realized this during a conversation with her that went something like this:
”Mommy, do we have glue?”
”No, honey, I apologize.  We don’t.”
”Well mommy… Maybe a fairy will come and see we don’t have any glue and make me have glue.”
I thought about this for a moment.  How imaginative…  Then I realized that would be magick, which we teach Cassie the Bible clearly says that magick is sin. (Deuteronomy 18:9-11; Galatians 5:19-23)  So instead of letting the imaginative moment go by, I decided to teach her a bit.
"What would that be, Cassie?”
”It would be glue.”
”No, Cassie.  If they gave you glue, what would they be doing?”
”Magick.”
”Yes. And magick is wrong, isn’t it?”
”Well, yes I know magick is bad for me. But its okay for fairies.”

That made me realize what we had been teaching her.  She was right; we had been teaching her that it was okay for others.

“No, Cassie, magick is never okay, not even for fairies.”  I told her.

Now some of you may think that I should let imaginative moments be and not try to teach my kid all the time. However, I have learned with Cassie that whether I teach her intentionally or not, she is always learning.  So I could let imaginative moments go by, but if she is wrong she is learning from me that wrong thing is right since I didn’t correct it. Which just means I’ll have to go back later and teach her about it.  I take every chance I get to teach her.  I am laying the foundation for the rest of her life.  To me, teaching her is like making a foundation for a house. If a large rock fell into the concrete and created a lump you wouldn’t just leave it there; you would take it out!  If you left it there it would be nearly impossible to remove once the concrete dries.  Its the same thing.  Un-teaching a child is incredibly difficult.  I have experienced this with my husband.  My husbands’ mom, dad or someone taught him something or didn’t teach them something so now I have to re-train my husband.  It is a pain and very difficult.  (I’m sure he has the same experience with me from time-to-time.)

So I guess from now on I’ll have to teach her that while other people sin, often blatantly in front of you, it is not our job to make them stop.  It is our job to love them and stay firm in our beliefs and correct ourselves so we don’t model sinful behavior.  Its hard, though, because a certain amount of discernment is healthy and important.  How can you choose “good company” so your good character wont be corrupted without a bit of discernment?  (1 Corinthians 15:33) I think its more the attitude you use when looking at others.  A lens of love is always best.

~Supera Matris

I took this video of Calla a few days ago.  Her new dance moves crack me up.  I’m not sure what’s going on with the strange facial expressions…

-Abby

This was a fabulous weekend. Jeff and  I greatly enjoyed getting to see each other, and even the anticipation of seeing each other gets to be a lot of fun! I was able to spend some great time with great friends, which really re-charged my batteries.

 I am really enjoying that Thomas is becoming such a little person, with ideas and thoughts of his own. It makes parenting feel like more of a challenge, because he now remembers everything I say and do- and holds me to it! It is also funny to realize that he is his own person, not bits and pieces of Jeff and myself. I keep worrying that I will make choices that I will later regret, and have to remind myself that his story is still so actively being written.

A few fun conversations:

11/21/09 (AM)

T: I really wish that I could have a playdate with Jordan.

K: Honey, you need to stop asking for things by saying “I wish…” It is much better to say. “Mom, can I have a playdate with Jordan.” You need to ask for things that you want, not make a passive statement of your hope for something.

T: (thinks for a minute) Well, mom, if I really wanted to say it correctly, then I need to say, “Mom, may I please have a playdate with Jordan.”

K: Absolutely true.

11/21/09 (PM)

T: Emily and I decided that she will spend Christmas with me at my Nana’s house.

K: Honey, I am pretty sure that Emily will be spending Christmas with her family. It is important for kids to be with their families during the holidays.

T: I know, but we decided we should be together. I told her that you would draw her momma a map. They just need to know where to go.

11/22/09

T: You are my favorite momma ever. (thinks for a minute) Yep, ever.

K: Oh, that is very sweet honey. You are my favorite son ever.

T: (big grin on face) Really?

K: Oh yes

T: Then what does that make Cooper? Do you not like her?

K: Well, she is my favorite daughter ever.

T: So girls are daughters, not sons. Oh, so we are both your favorite (looks dejected)

K: Yes, you are both my favorite. You are both very special kids.

Finally, this is one of my favorite pictures taken of the kids recently. I should clarify that it is my favorite of Coop. She has personality enough for a few kids, and she shows it by pushing herself to the forefront every chance she gets:

It's all about me, right?

What a fun challenge these little people are! My family is, by far, the thing in my life that makes me the happiest. It sucks to feel that I compromise them  by being away on internship, but I know that we will all reap the benefits when it is done.

Okay, I realize this is a LITTLE late, BUT, look at these adorable kiddos! I spent Halloween in Albany, my little hometown (population 2,000) and got to catch these photos of some trick-or-treaters. But I won’t bore you with my stories of how I know each kid (yes, these are random kids, but  I know many of them! oh, small town livin’). Enjoy!

November 2009

After shoots like this, I am reminded of how blessed I am to be in the photography business. The Dungan’s were referred to me by another client and I am so glad! This beautiful family of four was so sweet and we had a lot of fun exploring Anneberg Park, Ft. Riley and their new house in Manhattan. Anderson and Ellie are two of the cutest kiddos ever, wait until you see their precious smiles! With Jason preparing to deploy in March, I hope these pictures will be a beautiful reminder of the family waiting anxiously to return home. Thanks so much Dungan family!

Semalem nyokap nelpon gue and said that my girl want to talk to me, then I called home lah. Langsung yg angkat telpon si Dede’,  gue tanya dong “Kenapa sayang? Katanya mau ngomong sama mama ya?”. And you know what did she answer? Bener2 bikin gue hancur dehh… sedih bgt dengernya. Dia bilang, “Dede’ kangen sama mama”. Sedih gak sih? Langsung mellow mode on deh gue abis itu. Tp dia ngomongnya yg santai2 aja sih, gak pake nangis or merajuk gimana gitu. Trus dia nyerocos aja cerita macem2 sampai akhirnya dia nanyain papa nya. Gue kasi hp ke hubby tp gue speaker *pengen tau gue apa yg diomongin. hehehe…*. Dia bilang gini, “papa kapan pulang? Dede’ udah lama nih gak jalan2″. Duuuhhh… kasian ya anak gue, dengan segala kepolosan dan ketidakmengertiannya mengungkapkan perasaannya, malah bikin yg denger jadi sedih.

Beraaaaaaa……ttttttt banget rasanya jauh dari kiddos. Yg biasanya sehari2 bisa tau kegiatan mereka *walopun baru pulang kantor bisa dpt laporannya*, but at least every night kita bisa bercengkerama. Apalagi si krucil satu itu, baru umur segitu udah terpaksa tinggal jauhan dari ortunya. My boy jg tuh, gue gak pernah tau lagi udah bisa apa aja dia dari pelajaran di sekolah. Kemaren ini tau2 gue taunya dia udah hafal perkalian dari 1 – 10. Gak pernah gue ngajarin, tau2 udah hafal aja. Thanks to my parents who always take care of my kids. Dulu repot ngurusin gue and my bro&sis, sekarang saat anak2 udah beranak pinak, malah repot ngurusin cucu.

Gak sabar nunggu bulan depan, mau mindahin my kiddos ke sini.  Biar keluarga kami tidak tercerai berai lagi. Gak kuat rasanya terlalu lama berpisah dari kiddos.

My kids, mama miss u so much…