– And now we are three months. So cute if I must say so myself.

Play: Smells like teen spirit

I have to make a poop. I sit on the toilet at the bright yellow house my family and I used to share. I contemplate my future and think about what happened
to my parents.
“Petey… Come in, Petey.”
“This is Petey. What is it, Beatie?”
“My parents are no longer married.  They’re divorced. I wanted you to know.”
“I know, I watched you and your parents during the court proceedings. I’m sorry things didn’t work out with your family, Beatie.”
“Thanks for the good thought, Petey. I just can’t believe we are not going to be together anymore.”
“It is a shame. Are your parents at least speaking now?”
“Yeah, a little more now. I think Dad feels bad for Mom cause he divorced her and all.” 
“Well, at the very least it’s good to know your parents are on speaking terms. 
I’m glad at least they are not fighting with each other.”
“Petey, I just wish they could get back together and work things out.”
“I know you do, honey.”
“How could they end themselves together? I just don’t understand it. My parents belonged together like peanut butter and jelly, like salt and pepper… Paper and
pencil for chrissakes.”
“I am sorry Beatie”
“You know, Petey, the two of them could make me laugh like nobody else in the world, I know it didn’t seem like it, with the fighting and mom’s sleeping all
the time but they were funny. They had the most perfect timing together. It’s what made them great. They could have tried harder and made it work.”
“I know how you feel, Beatie, but your parents did try. That’s all one can ask for.”
“I know. You’re probably right Petey, as usual.” I grab toilet paper from the roll.
“I guess maybe people try to hold on to whatever they can.” I tear a section of paper off the roll and wipe my eyes.
“We never want it to end.”  
 
DROP OFF
Father doesn’t say much. We drive to Mother’s place. We pull up in the Datsun.
“I’ll wait in the car. You knock on the door,” Father says. I get out of the car with a trash bag of my clothes for the weekend. I knock.
Mother opens the door in her housecoat.
“Hi, Mom.” With a glance towards Father I walk inside. Father drives away in the Datsun. Every weekend is the same.  
 
PICK UP  
The phone rings.   
“Get your stuff,” Father says. “Tell your Mother dat I’m on my way.”
“Do you want me to wait outside Mom’s place like usual?”
“Yes, maka sure you’re ready to go so I don’t have to get out of the car.”
 
Episode Nineteen-GIVE HER A CARD
I bought a Valentine card over the weekend at the store when I went grocery
shopping for Mother, since mother doesn’t do much but sleep. The greeting card for Lorena is dark red with two hearts.
Outside of the hearts, I write: Sorry about what happened a while back to your nose, neck and arms.
I sit in Mr. Fedlister’s class and watch Lorena. She opens the envelope and reads the card. Lorena looks at me. I smile. She stuffs the card back into the envelope. Lorena swings her arm around and places the card inside her desk. With a blink in my direction, Lorena looks away.  

RECESS TIME AGAIN
Both of us stand near the drinking fountain. Lorena bounces a red ball.
“Wanna be friends again, Beatie?” “Okay,” I say. I watch Lorena bounce the ball. I’m not sure if I am happy or sad.
I’m not sure I feel anything and if I could feel I don’t know what to think.
“Good glad we are friends again cause I’m having a sleep over at my house this weekend. You’re invited,” Lorena says.   Lorena’s hand continues to bounce a ball.
We keep our eyes on the ball.  

CALL MOTHER
“Hello, this is Lucille.”
“Mom?”
“Yes?”
“I’m not coming over this weekend. I got invited to a slumber party instead.”
“What should I tell God the Father?”
“I don’t know, maybe tell him I have plans.” 
“What if he makes me pay?” Mother asks.
“Pay? Pay for what?”
“For you not coming over.” 
“Mom, God the Father is not gonna make you pay for me not coming over.”
“He could try to persecute me.”
“Mom, God the Father is not gonna persecute you.”
“How do you know?” Mother asks.
“Cause I pray to him every night before I fall asleep.”
“Are you saying if I start to pray to God the Father maybe my neighbors won’t be so nosey and God the Father will not try to
persecute me?”
“Yeah, Mom. Try to pray to God the Father and ask him not to get you. Maybe that could work for you.”
“What if you’re wrong Beatie, and he is one of them?”
“One of who?”
“You know, a nosey neighbor.”
“Mom, why do you always have to think people and objects are not what they are? Huh, Mom?”
“Because, Beatie, people are not what they really seem. Neither is God.”
“Well, Mom I doubt anyone is out to get you.”
“How do you know?”
“Cause Mother, you’re just paranoid. Have you been taking your medicine? Stop being so paranoid.”
“Beatie, just because I’m paranoid
doesn’t mean no one is out to hurt me.”
“Either way Mom, I’m not coming over.”

PARTY TIME  Saturday 9:00 PM
The record player plays disco songs in Lorena’s living room. It’s the dance
contest time.  The contestants for the dance contest are: Lorena, Rosie, a shy fair-skinned redhead girl named Melanie, Sandy with her tight pink ribbon ponytail, and me!
“Come on, go,” Rosie tells Melanie. Melanie stands. Only her arms move. The music plays. We don’t watch her.
“Hey, I gotta go to the bathroom, I’ll be right back,” I say. Melanie shakes her arms.   
I take a pee and flush the toilet. I grab a small round soap from a dish next to the sink. The soap could pass for a piece of chocolate out of chocolate truffle box. This looks yummy I wash my hands with the candy. I dry with a green terry cloth towel. I return to the dance contest. It’s Sandy’s turn now. Sandy shakes her hips and kicks her feet.
“Okay, who’s next?” Rosie asks.
“Me,” I say. Sandy sits down.
I stand. The music starts. The music is great. I kick and shake my hips. The girls clap and watch me.
“Beatie, do the splits!” Lorena says. I spin, jump, spread my legs in the air and land on the floor. 
“That is so cool,” the girls say.  “You win, Beatie.”
“Okay let’s play truth or dare,” Rosie says.
“Beatie, truth or dare?”
“Um, truth.”
Rosie’s eyelashes stick to her eyebrows.
“Okay, is it true your mother was some famous model at one time, but she went crazy or something like that?”
“Why do you want to know?”
“I just wondered that’s all. You picked truth so you have to answer.”
“Yeah Beatie, you got to answer, you picked truth,” Lorena says. 
“My mom might have been a model at one time. But she never went crazy.”
“That’s not what my mom told me,” Rosie says.
I scratch my head. “My mom never went crazy. Okay now it’s my turn, Rosie, truth or dare?”
“Dare,” she says.
“I dare you to eat this milky chocolate.”
I show Rosie the soap.
“Why do you want me to eat milky chocolate?”
Rosie asks.
I smile. “I can’t think of anything else to dare you with right now, so just put
it inside your mouth.”
Rosie places the milky chocolate on her tongue.
“Close your mouth,” I say. Rosie closes her mouth.
“Now hold it” I say.
Rosie spits out the soap. ”This isn’t chocolate, it’s frickin soap!” Rosie grabs her throat. Her eyes water. Rosie coughs.
“That’s funny, Beatie.” Lorena shakes her head. Rosie spits. The girls laugh.

ABOUT THE SAME TIME AN EMERGENCY PHONE CALL IS PLACED Saturday 9:03 PM
Operator: “This is the emergency operator, may I help you?”
“Yes, there’s a naked woman with red hair running around my apartment.”
Operator: “What’s your address?”
“925 Mapleshade. She’s swinging a cat.”
Operator: “The naked woman is swinging a cat?”
“Yeah, it looks like it could be a kitten. Now she’s swinging and hitting the cat on people’s front doors… Lady,
please no! She’s running away now.”
Operator: “Okay, we’ll send someone right over.”

LAND LORD CALLS NEXT DAY
“May I speak to your father?” The mans voice on the phone sounds important.
“Can I tell him who’s calling?”
“This is your mother’s landlord.”
“Hold on please.”
“Dad, phone call for you.”

FATHER GETS ON THE PHONE
“She what? What? No, dats a mistake. She seemed fine. No, I don’t know anything about why she would do dat. Yes, I guess I can come and get her stuff out of the
apartment.” Father hangs up the phone.
“Dad what happened? Huh? What happened, Dad?”
“The police… Someone called the police on Frata. They came and picked her up in a police car… She is back in dat hospital.”

GET THE VALUABLES FROM THE FLAT
“Wow, your ex wife sure had some party,” the landlord says.
We are inside Mother’s apartment. Father and I stand behind him. Father and the landlord’s head move around and around to the walls covered with grape soda and tomato soup. Father grabs a snot handkerchief out of his pocket and covers his nose and mouth. I walk into the kitchen and grab a dirty glass from the floor. The landlord opens the refrigerator.
“Ugh, that smells awful.” The landlord turns his neck and covers his lips.
The refrigerator rots with the smell of sour milk and fermented cans of cat food. I fill my glass with water from the dirty sink. Broken plates, bowls in the sink and on
the ground, empty soda cans and cherry pop decorate the white porcelain dishes like sticky thin see-through icing on a cake. Father kicks the plates out of the way with his dress shoe.
“Dis place a mess. How she live like dis?”
I take a sip of my water. I don’t say a thing. Cat poop is scattered on the dark blue shag carpet. Father and the landlord spin their heads together in unison. They take it all in. I take another drink of water from my dirty glass.
“I’m sorry but I’m gonna have to keep the deposit,” the landlord says.
My hand sets the empty water glass down near a dead roach on the counter. I move to the bathroom with urine-stained clothes strewn on the floor.” Inside the toilet, dark chocolate logs with a rotten egg smell fill the bowl halfway. I sit on the seat. I wipe my private area.
My neck turns with a click towards the bathtub. Cold water mixed with miniature party dresses, pink bikinis and eraser size, plastic green, doll shoes float
inside the tub. I see something else. Six naked, Barbie dolls rest aside four white fur paws. The paws stretched like tooth picks. Fur face down. The kitten Mother stole from another mother, now a dead, fiber fluff whale in a diluted sea of blue-eyed naked blondes.
I can’t look at it. I cover my eyes with a soiled towel. Mother is sick. What am I gonna do? It’s going to be okay Beatie
“Why do I have to go through this?”
I dunno
“Dad! Da-Dad! Mom drowned my Barbies…”
“What Barbies?”
“Come here look”
Father peeks inside the bathtub. “Damn what dat Crazy do dat for?” He lets the water out of the tub. The dead kitten sticks to the bottom of the tub while it
glides near the water plug. With his fingers, Father picks up the cat by it’s neck.
“Give me dat trash can” He points to a small wastebasket near the sink.
“Here Dad” I hand him the trash can.
“Mama Mia she crazy” Father places the soggy kitten in the garbage.
yuck…

Courtesy of The Daily What.

Since u iz already up, cud u gets me a drink of waterz? Thank u…

can u reed me a storee?

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Little did everyone know, Fluffy was the original Beatles drummer.

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HAPPY WILFYDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!….yes peeps it is indeed the day of Wilfybirth…..

Unfortunately I have nothing blogularly planned for Wilfyday……..an article with bear cubs has decided today is BORE READERS WITH PICS OF CUTE ANIMALS DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

of course if you don’t like this I could discuss Glee for ages (Quinn is now my fave!!) But I won’t…I’ll just give you some True Colours (YAY TINA SINGING) to listen to while looking at them!!

So here we go….

Seals ARE AWESOME IN CUTENESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*WANTS* *holds out hands*

I’m such a sap for these things….

Ok…thats enough….I’ve completely gone off topic from Wilfyday…but hopefully I’ve distracted everyone….*shify eyes* *runs*

Imagine yourself walking alone in a black and cold night, the kind of night that sends shivers down your spine, one that also leaves you shivering under layer of clothes.

All of a sudden, you hear a soft but distinct sound, coming not too far from you. You look around you and your eyes come across a box poked with holes. Your sense of curiosity is evoked and as you walked towards the sound-emitting box, you start wondering silently to yourself.

What could be in that XS-sized coffin box? A new born baby dumped by his underaged Mum? A spoilt barbie doll?

As your fingers touched the cover of the box, your heart said a few prayers and you closed your eyes in anticipation.

Meoooooooooowwwwww.

The ear piercing sound broke the silence of the night. You look into the box and then saw the cutest little creature with eyes as blue as topaz. You look at the kitten in the box. It’s fur was wet and dirty. It looked pathetically at you, as though you’re it’s Mummy. Even though you do not speak feline language, you know that the kitten is hungry.

What would you do next? Walk away and leave that kitten hungry?  Or scoop it up and call it your own?

I’d do the latter.

And I can’t imagine being around someone who would do the former.

What is cuter than a kitten in your arms? NOTHING!

Above you can see a very cute picture of my brother Mike with our teenage kitten Bucket laying in his arms. I thought this would make a great pic and so I rushed to get the camera.

I think it definitely was a worthy shot. And good enough to post. Enjoy!

Uitasem complet cum a inceput prietenia mea cu Kitten. Asa si de dintotdeauna mi se parea ca ne cunoastem incat n-am simtit niciodata nevoia sa ma intorc la primele mailuri. Azi dimineata le-a deschis ea. Nu erau scrisori ingalbenite si legate cu panglici , dar m-au emotionat  foarte tare. Am vorbit aceeasi limba de la bun inceput, dar cel mai mult m-a surprins altceva.

Eu am chemat-o aici demult. Nu-mi mai aminteam pentru ca viata m-a indepartat cu totul de contextul pe care il imaginasem si odata cu el s-a sters tot, probabil, din memoria mea.

Redau mai jos citatul relevant

Stiu ca orice ti-as spune nu poate taia din tristete, dar faptul ca te gandesti la plecare e semn bun. Imi place cum privesti lucrurile. Tare mult imi place

Nu stiu daca ai citit postul meu cu plantatul viselor. Sa stii ca o sa facem un centru cultural unde vrem sa adunam in echipa oameni misto. E inca devreme sa-ti fac propuneri, dar gandeste-te la asta ca la o posibila evadare.

Aici experimentez linistea,  serenitatea, pentru prima oara in viata , dar imi lipsesc oamenii. Prietenii mei sunt la fel de nefericiti ca si tine. Ii agreseaza tot. Bucuria ca sunt aici imi e injumatatita, nu vreau sa ma simt cu sacii in caruta privindu-i cum se zbat. Asa ca am hotarat sa fac un loc in care sa putem munci impreuna, lenevi impreuna, crea, visa. Nu e utopie…Odata pornita treaba o sa te mai intreb daca n-ai vrea sa vii si tu.

Centrul cultural a ramas doar un vis. Poate inca nu a venit timpul lui, dar Cristina e deja aici…

It was Fluffy that always seemed to ruin the yearly Christmas card.

ur smile nawt sew gud.

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20081005 08 Chicago Ska trip day 2 part 1 of 2

more of milesgehm’s photos

This work week was long and painful, and it’s not even over yet. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving already. Hoping for relaxing day but that’s not going to happen with two dinners. Packing to spend the weekend at my parents house until Sunday. That means no Link for the next three nights. =(

Watching TV.

Eric has a comfort-blanket.  It’s a sheepskin that my other half accidentally ruined in the washing machine, and he adores it.

.. I usually have an “Wanna Annoy Me” post every now and again but there were too many things today that just crawled up my ass so I figured I’d go easy on you guys and just enter one post.

Actually.. that’s not all together true. I just got back from the laundromat with 5 :: count ‘em 5 :: hampers so stuffed with clean clothes that I’ll never get the wrinkles out to fold that multiple posts just isn’t Father Time’s hourglass.

Ok..

So..

Things that annoyed me today:

1. I cut my bangs too short. I have this crazy curly hair that just magically shortens by 5 inches when you cut it. I usually leave it to the professionals :: which, I WAS one before I let my license expire :: but it got on my nerves so bad today that I dry cut it. This.. for all you non-professionals out there is when you cut your hair.. dry. Meaning, not wet. Meaning you just get done blow drying your hair and you can’t stand the way it fall into your face and annoys you that you grab the nearest scissors you can find and just start chopping. That’s a “dry cut”. The problem is when you cut your bangs yourself, you kind of get cross eyed. So it’s not a pretty thing to witness. So what was once a bang length down to my chin is now a bang length just in the middle of my eye. Too short. Long term baseball cap wear-age definitely in my future.
2. Men who wear tighty-whities. I am allowed to say that out loud because Chief is among the tighty-whitie wearers and I am the one who has to launder his tighty-whities. I used to roll my eyes at the Spawn from Satan’s Ass because he wore tighty-non-whities and it just looked ridiculous but if there is one kind thing I can say about the Spawn, it’s that he spared me from looking at and having to handle stained underwear. And we all know underwear gets stained.. PLEASE don’t try to convince me that your’s doesn’t. My question is.. how are you not EMBARASSED by it? I have been know to wear underwear on occassion :: yes, I usually go “commando” :: but even then, one little thing that isn’t suppose to be there and they get chucked in the trash. Buried deep. So no one can see them.
3. People who drive with handicap placards hanging from their rear view mirror. Because.. like.. it clearly states DO NOT HANG WHILE DRIVING. I know.. because my dad :: RIP :: used to have one. If you’re going to do that then I’m going to assume your handicap is of the mental variety and you shouldn’t be driving anyway. Therefore, I can’t help what comes out of my mouth when you decide your going to make a UTurn on a four lane highway from the far right lane, while I’m in the middle lane. Jerk off.
4. .. and speaking of stuff hanging from rear view mirrors. What’s with all the damn plastic leis all of a sudden? Did I miss a memo? Forget to invite me to a party. Get that dumb shit off.
5. People who think THEIR time is WAY MORE valuable then mine. You know the whole issue we’re having with Bubba and school, right? Well, I’ve been in email communication with his primary teacher and since today was report card day, she suggested that I go to the high school at 4:30 so that I can have a sit down meeting with all his teachers. 4:30. I KNOW she said 4:30. I KNOW she said 4:30 because when she said 4:30 all kinds of things started running through my head like, “Will Chief be able to close the store and come with?” .. “Do I leave Bubba home alone?”.. “Will I be able to pick Bubba up at 2:20 and then go to the wholesalers and make it back in time?” .. so yea.. I KNOW she said 4:30. So what happens? I get to the school at 4:30 and no one. Anywhere. I check the library where we were suppose to meet and it’s empty except for someone that’s somewhere in the back who won’t respond to my HELLOs or EXCUSE MEs only to make an appearance after I roamed all over an empty school :: so much for fucking security :: and happen to see the above mentioned someone in the middle of the library vacuuming. When asked the whereabouts of the teachers, she looked at me in disgust and told me that report cards weren’t going to be given out until 6… with an attitude. But no bigger then the one I was already carrying around. So I drive back to the shop fuming and then drive back to the school fuming and when finally face to face with the primary teacher, she tells me that she smugly told me that she had something to do. If Bubba’s education was NOT as important as it is I would have dropped the cow on her fat ass. Immediately.
6. My father in law telling me he can’t believe I stayed with his son this long. That annoyed me. Maybe because it’s true and I know it’s true. Dunno. Must ponder that one.
7. Missing school pictures. OH how that annoyed me! If you read some of my recent previous posts, you know that the Crack Whore was throwing up accolades in my direction because I sent her a message that I had Spaz’s school picture for her. Well, today, Spaz got out of school early and because .. well, I don’t really know “because” .. anyway, he called the Crack Whore and she how ever it happened, she came by the shop and took him somewhere. I was in the back.. didn’t see her.. didn’t care. BUT I figured when I got home, I better sort out the pictures because I wanted to put which ever ones in the Thanksgiving cards I got for Chief’s brother, my mom, etc. So when I get home.. there’s no 8×10. There WAS an 8×10 because I ordered and 8×10.. and even if I didn’t think I ordered an 8×10, I clearly remember the day that Spaz came home with them and pulled the 8×10 out of the envelope because I told him to put it back before his sticky candy fingers smudged it. I have a wall lined with their 8×10 school pictures so I know there was one. So I call the Crack Whore and leave a message to have Spaz call me because there’s a missing 8 x fucking 10 picture missing. About an hour and a half goes by and he calls and asks if I want to talk to him and I ask him if he took the picture. He said no.. and if there was ever a time that I could tell this child was lying it was then. The pause.. the stutter.. all neon arrows. He tells me that I didn’t order one. Now.. excuse me.. my brain cells are not swimming in anything chemical. It’s sharp as a tack so to try and convince me that I didn’t order one only inflamed me more. That and the fact that the edging that was on the 8 x fucking 10 picture was cut. And not in a straight line. We had issues with pictures before, me and the Crack Whore. Especially when she stole Weed’s prom picture. Yes. You read that right. STOLE. So I’m not putting it past her that she asked about the pictures and Spaz gave her the 8 x fucking 10. What I’m more pissed about is that she made him lie about it. So tonight at dinner, after he came home from her crack den, I told him that I wanted the picture back. That no one but me and him knew where the pack was. He started pulling his drama queen shit which further proved he had lied. So Chief gave him the opportunity to come clean saying that it’s understandable if he did because he’s just a little boy but he had to be honest about it. Which of course, made Sarah Bernhardt rise from the dead. And so I got pissed. Because I paid the $60 that I didn’t have for these pictures and I told Chief, he could call her all he wants.. she’s not going to ‘fess up to it. Because she never does. But I will tell you one thing.. in a few days that picture is going mysteriously turn up.. or I’m going to hear, “oh.. I forgot!’ or “I didn’t know you were talking about THAT picture”. I’ll bet you any amount of money on that.
8. Supermarkets that tell you that you CANNOT get the free turkey that is owed you for spending over three hundred dollars on their discount card because you lost the receipt that says you are entitled to a free turkey because you spent over three hundred dollars on their discount card. Since my father in law is coming over for dinner Thursday, I need a fucking turkey. Because as un-traditional as Chief is.. he CAN’T have ham :: of which I have one frozen in the freezer :: on Thanksgiving. It HAS to be turkey. It’s the TRADITION. I rolled my eyes at him and said, “.. you’re fucking kidding me, right?” Which, of course, he wasn’t. So I drive over to the supermarket .. grab a frozen bird :: AND thinking that if any bird deserved to be frozen right then it was Chief’s :: and when I get to the counter I remember that I don’t have the coupon. Not only don’t I have the coupon but I realize that I have no clue where it’s at. No problem. I have my discount card on my keyring. So I run out to the car to get my keys :: yes, I put my keys in the glove box if I know I’m not going to need a damn discount card because I always lose them and my car has coded locks so it’s not like I’d be locked out. :: come back into the store only to have the cashier tell me that I need the coupon. UH-UH! I have the discount card. She says it doesn’t matter.. that she has to ring up the card along with the coupon and bedlam ensues. Because I want someone who gets paid more then the cashier does to tell me that my discount card is NOT good enough.. because if the damn card can tell them everything about everything I’ve purchased then why the hell can’t it tell them that I get a free turkey. But of course, this is the Tuesday before Thanksgiving and the crowd behind me is looking for things to impale me with so I told her that I would return tomorrow to speak with the manager. Then I went home and told Chief we were starting a new tradition and having ham, dammit.
9. Cats that chew on a ridiculously expensive pair of boots that have been stored in the deepest, darkest depth of my closet since last winter REALLY ANNOY me. I mean REALLY annoyed me. Annoyed me so much that I started to believe that the author of “Puss In Boots” had a cat that chewed on a ridiculously expensive pair of boots and made him pay for it dearly. Or maybe that’s what I was thinking when I found my boots were chewed. Hard to tell. I was annoyed.

Well.. I think y’all had enough of my ranting for now. I still have two hampers of laundry to fold and the laptop battery is running low.

Wish me a better day tomorrow.. either that, or send me a REALLY good recipe for spiked egg nog!

Kitlers.

Cats that look like Hitler. So absolutely great.

Some of my favourites.

They even have merch

Unusually, all three cats were in the mood for posing yesterday.  Here they are, in all their feline glory.

First to pose was Snowball.  This is especially unusual, as she’s incredibly camera-shy.  She tolerated me for ten minutes or so before stalking off to bug the crap out of her big brother.

Next was Eric.  He is most definitely not camera-shy, but he has the attention-span of a knat.  I’m trying to take a picture of Eric (and David!) every day, to document how he’s growing.

And here is Wily, the posiest poser of all.  He knew full well that I was taking all of these photos, but kept posing until I was done.

I love these cats to bits.  Any more need saying?

Yes, I know… it’s a song….. but it’s also a state of mind…..

Anyway I wanted you to see this beautiful brand new no. 1 on my wish list….

It’s the most beautiful pet ever….

P.S. I promise to love and take care of my kitten, never abandon or harm her (because it will be a she)…

Enjoy!

Just lovable!!!