Paper Heart has great intentions.  It pairs a good–natured script with an eclectic cast and boasts an original approach amidst all other drab romantic comedies.  But as they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions and while this film is far from a fiery inferno, it leaves much to be desired.

Paper Heart follows Nick (Jake M. Johnson) and Charlyne (Charlyne Yi) as they shoot a documentary about love.  Charlyne is a young woman who has never been in love and maybe doesn’t believe in it.  Rather than remain clueless, she and her assorted crew travel all over the country talking with ordinary folks about what they consider the definition of love to be.

Charlyne interviews all kinds of people: a divorce judge and lawyer, high school sweethearts, a scientist and biologist, a gay couple, even a romance novelist.  She learns with each passing city that love has many definitions.

The tables begin to turn when Charlyne meets Michael Cera at a party and their flirtation blossoms. The documentary inadvertently begins to juxtapose her new love interest with the stories they film on the road.  With every new vignette comes a new revelation about her relationship with Michael. And as much as she tries to deny it, we watch love’s greatest skeptic unwittingly fall in love.

The tricky pseudo-documentary style works just right for first–time director Nicholas Jasenovec.  Tension between “real life” and the documentary creates some funny moments and appropriately parallels Charlyne’s new love adventures with Michael.  Sometimes the style seems like a cop–out, but at least it feels original.

Li, best known for her small part as a stoner girlfriend in Judd Apatow’s Knocked Up, just can’t keep the film afloat as the lead.  She is cute and heartfelt, but ultimately unable to hold her own in this character–driven film.  At times she is almost painful to watch.  Her sidekick, Nick, made a reference to her lack of concern about her personal hygiene; the comment was less funny and more you-should-probably-fix-that.

Perhaps most detrimental to the film is the unfortunate chemistry between Charlyne and Michael.  Their interactions fall pitifully flat (even more disturbing after discovering that they are dating off-screen).  They are just plain awkward.  Of course, there is a certain cutesy appeal to awkwardness but this is a squirm in your seat sort of level.  Example.  When they’re hanging on the couch one night in front of Nick’s ever–present camera, Cera has his arm around the robotically stoic Charlyne when he asks, “Should we kiss?”  She giggles.  They kiss. The audience gags. Immediately after the peck Cera says, “Well, that’s out of the way now.”  Squirm, squirm.

If Jasenovec was attempting to channel a Juno–Bleeker relationship here with the supposed awkward charm, unusual clothing and quirky dialogue, it did not work.  Yes, the premise is heart–warming, the little vignettes are endearing, and of course, like with any decent romantic comedy, the film makes you want to be in love.  But where Ellen Page and Michael Cera fit, Charlyne didn’t.  Make of it what you may, but hopefully the pair is a little less awkward and a little more compatible off–screen than they are in front of the camera.  That is the one thing that would have led Paper Heart’s good intentions to fruition.

You’d be forgiven at the moment for thinking we were nearing the end of a decade. The interwebs have been awash of late with more countdowns, best ofs, top tens and general reminiscences of the 2000’s then you could poke a digital stick at. Suddenly everybody is a critic, and while some of the countdowns have been insightful and thought-provoking, others have been….well, like this one. For the nostalgic, these countdowns are practically memory-heaven. But for those who don’t buy into that sort of stuff, it gets a little tiring. So, what better than to list some of the best (and worst) ‘best-of’ lists currently clogging up cyber-space?

Pitchfork: P2K

Over the past months American music site Pitchfork have taken an in-depth look at the decade in music. Way back in the dark ages of 2001 the site barely existed, but since then has grown to be one of the most formidable online music news and reviews sites on the net. Not only does P2K count down the best albums, songs and music videos, it also features a series of essays detailing some of the more interesting developments in music over the past ten years. Of particular note is the ‘Decade in Indie’ and the social history of the mp3.

Highlights
Best Album: Radiohead- Kid A
Best Song: Outkast- B.O.B.

Paste Magazine: The 25 best Album Covers

Slightly more obscure is Paste magazine’s countdown of the best album covers. It has been argued that as digital sales boom and physical CD sales decline, the quality of modern album art is going steadily downhill (as this cover would seem to prove). Regardless, Paste have put together an interesting countdown, which includes the likes of The Flaming Lips, Animal Collective, Arcade Fire and Lil Wayne. Whoever decided to award Neko Case’s Middle Cyclone cover as number 1 though needs to go back and re-take primary school art classes.

Highlights
Number 1: Neko Case- Middle Cyclone
Number 2: Animal Collective- Merriweather Post Pavilion (and rightly so)

The A.V. Club: The 30 best TV Shows

The problem with critics is often that their views on what is ‘good’ differs from the majority of the viewing public. Which is a shame, but it’s also the reason why most of the shows on the A.V. Club’s list of best TV shows of the decade have either ended or been cancelled. Still, it’s a formidable list. The top 3 (The Wire, Arrested Development and the Sopranos) are undoubtedly some of the finest productions since television’s inception, let alone in this decade. Other notable shows include Mad Men, Lost and The West Wing, just scraping in at number 30. The best part of this countdown though is the shitfight in the comments as to what constitutes a ‘decade’. Hilarious.

Highlights
Number 1: The Wire
Number 15: Veronica Mars
Number 22: Six Feet Under

News.com.au: Moment of the Decade

Oh, News.com.au. Purveyor of fine, quality journalism. Not content with simply telling Middle Australia what the best bits of the noughties were, good old Rupert has gone and encouraged everyone to name their own favourites! For anyone that’s ever read the comments to any article on the site, that should be enough to click your way on over. In case you need any more incentive though, today’s category is ‘Killers, Haters, Tools: Choose the Villian of the decade’. Apparently Kyle Sandilands and John Mayer are in the same league as Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein. Who would have thought? The fun doesn’t stop there. Oh no siree, it doesn’t. For you creative types, you can even have a go at naming what the next decade should be called! An issue of utmost importance, of course. Seriously, the sooner this site becomes paid-only, the better.

Lowlights
Pop Culture
Money
Sex & Life
…actually, just spend a good 15 minutes trawling through the site. It’ll make your day.

Times Online: The 100 Best Movies of the Noughties

Slightly more classy news outlet Times Online went all out and counted down the top 100 cinematic releases of the decade. With everything from political drama Milk to Roman-epic Gladiator to comedy Knocked Up, the list does well to cater for everyone…up until the odd choice of The Bourne Supremacy/Ultimatum at number 2 (So really it should have been the best 101 movies). And Team America World Police in the top 5? You must be joking.

In Brief
Number 1: Hidden
Number 16: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Number 34: Finding Nemo
Number 64: Anchorman

Well that’s about it. Some of the best (and worst) countdowns of the best (and worst) things to happen in the noughties. Of course, a quick google search will reveal thousands more best-ofs then the ones here. But really, is there much point? When it comes down to it, who gets to decide that Franz Ferdinand is better than Hot Chip? Or that Monsters, Inc. deserves to place ahead of Pan’s Labyrinth?

Perhaps the best countdown of the decade should go to Hungry Beast. They look at the ten best years of the 2000’s. You can check that out here.

]]> http://celebrityexile.wordpress.com/2009/11/25/happy-birthday-katherine-heigl-welcome-to-the-island/ Wed, 25 Nov 2009 16:10:02 +0000 limejuiceboy7 http://celebrityexile.wordpress.com/2009/11/25/happy-birthday-katherine-heigl-welcome-to-the-island/

courtesy weblogs/cltv

Happy Belated Birthday, you ungrateful kraut.

Yay, you play Izzie Stevens, a character with the same amount of self-centered attributes as you yourself! You then get nominated for an Emmy and bitch that it shouldn’t have happened because the writing just wasn’t up to your standards? I’m no Grey’s Anatomy fan but shouldn’t you be glad you are being offered work other than anything starring Steven Seagal? Yet you continue to play the same character over and over again: a haired-up, over-worked, under-sexed, single gal who needs a man to open her eyes to the world. Must be the writing, eh K.?

Knocked Up gave you some added fame and exposure yet there you go, criticizing the story elements behind that. And in The Ringer your character was one of the last ones to realize that Steve Barker wasn’t (and I’m using a word that you have used before) a retard. Oh, what, does that word bother you? I bet you wish you never said this: “Guys are kind of retarded until they’re about 30.” Nice one.

You love the attention and how people fawn over your beauty—but that only runs skin deep, Katie. And your skin is about as deep as the waters of Northern Samar (psst, it’s very shallow there).

So let’s make comparisons between the characters you portray and the person I’m confident you are:

Annoying to those around you? Check.

Plays the woe-is-me card constantly? Check.

Bites the hand that feeds? Check, please!

So get off your high horse and wipe your snot nose on your golden sleeve because you won’t have these any longer.  Katherine Heigl, I banish thee, to the Island. Do us a favor and never, ever return.

–Limejuiceboy

I love the holidays, especially Thanksgiving. Who wouldn’t love an entire day dedicated to giving thanks over a feast of meats, casseroles, and desserts galore. My mouth is watering just thinking about it.

Thanksgiving in my family is definitely an event. Whether it’s my father’s feast of meats, or my Grandmother’s casserole smorgasboard, I am never left unsatisfied. This year will be spent at my Grandma and Grandpa’s house in Oklahoma for the biannual Thanksgiving/family reunion. Every other year the entire family comes together from Oklahoma, Texas, New York, Salt Lake City, and Tennessee. It’s quite an event and I must say the food can’t get any better anywhere else. I can’t wait to take lots of pics on Thursday and share all of the good eats with everyone this weekend, but for now I wanted to share my favorite dish that has become a Hibbard family staple.

The origins of this recipe started with my amazing Aunt Janice. She was a wonderful woman full of spirit and love, and her Squash Casserole reflected all of the love she conveyed. The recipe has been passed throughout the family but for the most part has maintained it’s original flavor. I made just two small changes, even though it tastes amazing with it. You really must make this recipe, it’s the best casserole I have ever had!!

Aunt Janice’s Squash Casserole

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Boil a large pot of water. Slice the squash, onion, and jalapenos. Boil the squash in the water until slightly tender. Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat and saute the onions and jalapenos until tender.

In a large bowl mix together the cream of chicken soup and the next three ingredients, through the sour cream. Set aside. In a medium microwave-safe bowl melt the butter and mix the package of cornbread mix until coated.

In a 9×13 casserole dish spoon half of the cornbread mixture on the bottom of the pan or until covered, but not too thick of a layer. Drain the squash and add to the creamy mixture, along with the onion mixture, and spoon into the pan on top of the cornbread mixture. Top with the cheese, then top the cheese with the cornbread mixture, forming a nicely covered layer, but again, not too thick (you don’t want the casserole to be too dry).

Place in the oven, uncovered, on the middle rack and bake for 30-35 minutes until bubbly.

Enjoy!

Kings of Leon: I absolutely love this band. My old roommate first introduced them to me back in 2003 and I’ve been hooked ever since. These Tennesse boys can rock out to great tracks like “Holy Roller Novocaine” and “Red Morning Light”, then slow it down with songs like their newest hit “Use Somebody”, the video shown below. The following video is my favorite cover of Kings of Leon’s “Knocked Up”  by Lykke Li. Turn the sound up and enjoy!  

The one time that Seth Rogen and Adam Sandler, actually aren’t funny.

Famous and wealthy funnyman George Simmons (Adam Sandler) doesn’t give much thought to how he treats people until a doctor (Torsten Voges) delivers stunning health news, forcing George to reevaluate his priorities with a little help from aspiring stand-up comic Ira (Seth Rogen). Judd Apatow (Knocked Up) writes and directs this moving comedy that also stars Leslie Mann, Jonah Hill, Jason Schwartzman and Aubrey Plaza.

Funny People is a movie that I’ve wanted to see for a very long time now. I love Sandler, Rogen, and most of all Judd Apatow. And when I heard they we’re all goin to be in the same film together I could not believe myself. Finally I got the DVD and watched it and I’m quite glad.

This is Apatow’s third written & directed film, and in his last two showings (Knocked Up, The 40 Year-Old Virgin), he showed a great way of blending hilarious comedy with some moving drama. However, in this film he doesn’t show his best directing abilities. I felt like he was being more serious with this film, as this is probably one of his more serious and mature pieces of work cause it is about dieing. I just didn’t feel like this film hit every single point it could have. Apatow over-uses the slow-motion zoom in to show his characters being emotionally effected by something, and it really starts to become a little too obvious.

Still, his humor does hit the mark. I felt like there were a little bit too much of those jokes about boners and such, but really I wasn’t expecting much different. The humor blends in really well, where at points in the film they are actually making little jokes about death, and it lightens up the mood.

Apatow also does a great job of blending in fiction with non-fiction to evoke compelling realistic performances from the cast. I think this is a role of a lifetime for Sandler, because the character he plays is a goofy comedian he gets to indulge in the zany side of his comedy, but also he gets to play the characters darker parts and he does a fantastic job at it. Seth Rogen is really great in this film as he isn’t playing the usual Seth Rogen you see in every other film, he is actually more serious and believable as a very awkward and nerdy geek who is just trying to be funny. Surprisingly, the funniest out of this whole cast has got to be Eric Bana. Yes, out of a cast filled with Jonah Hill, Adam Sandler, and Seth Rogen The Hulk ends up becoming the funniest guy. He comes late in  the film but plays this stereotypical macho-man guy and really gives this film the extra laughs it deserves.

There are two films in Funny People, one about Sandler and Rogen, and the other about Sandler and Leslie Mann. It’s less of a buy one get one free deal, as much as it is a buy one and get one you really didn’t ask for. The latter part didn’t feel like it was supposed to be put in the film, and just added on to less comedy and more drama.

Consensus: Funny People is not Apatow’s best, but still has a great blending of comedy and drama, with some realistic performances. I just felt like this was two movies rolled into one, and lack of cohesiveness between the two separate stories is what stops it from being a great movie.

8/10=Matinee!!!!!

There is a fundamental problem with the new* Judd Apatow movie, ‘Funny People‘: None of the people in the movie are actually funny. They talk about the jokes they are writing and we see the writing process, but all of the jokes told on stage are punctuated with mild laughter, which is all this movie ultimately gets as well.

There is some heart and some humor here, but Apatow has gone for broke and fallen overboard. ‘The 40 Year Old Virgin’ was a slim 116 minutes, and while ‘Knocked Up’ trickled over two hours, it was bearable. ‘Funny People’ is a 100 minute movie stretched so far that by the end I was just hoping George Simmons would get hit by a freakin’ bus.

The problem here is that the film puts heart over humor, and Apatow and his actors have a lot of trouble pulling it off. ‘Virgin’ and ‘Knocked Up’ were funny and ended up having a heart under the vulgarity. ‘Funny People’ tries to be serious business, with the disease and the old love and the new family, and we don’t really care enough about the characters to think anything they do is funny. The relationship between George and his old lover Laura (Leslie Mann) is forced in an awkward scene where he regrets cheating on her. Maybe this would work if the parallel scene where Ira (Seth Rogen) watches the kids was amusing, but it isn’t. Seth Rogen is usually insufferable, but he did some good work in this movie. Too his source material wasn’t better.

Don’t get me started on Jonah Hill. This kid has no business being in any movie and is pretty easily the worst component of anything he touches. Yet Judd Apatow loves him, so he keeps popping up.

‘Funny People’ is completely underwhelming. I give this advice often about many new movies where the cardinal people have done better work: Don’t waste your time–watch ‘The 40 Year Old Virgin’ again.

* Since I am currently in South Korea, sometimes it takes me longer than usual to see movies. I try to keep up to date, but there is only so much I can do.

Mr. Burns loves to leave presents in the bathtub for Baby Daddy. He also leaves them in front of his litter box for Jack the Beagle.

This present awoke me from a deep, restful sleep somewhere around 4am while Baby Daddy is out of town. I can’t touch it for fear of toxoplasmiosis, so it has to stay in the tub and stink until Baby Daddy returns tomorrow. I’ve officially moved out of that bathroom and I’m considering moving out of that bedroom because the waft is triggering my gag reflex.

Later this afternoon, Mr. Burns decided to let himself into the hamper and I have accused him of plotting to leave presents in our dirty clothes. Luckily I thwarted his plans, but not before Mr. Burns got in a nice long swipe that left me with several inches of bloody scratches on my arm.

Normally, he is an adorable, loving kitty who is the best snuggler in the house.

It’s no ‘28 Weeks Later’ or ‘House Of 1000 Corpses’ but it definitely is up there with the likes of ‘Shaun Of The Dead.’ Zombieland, which some of you may remember from my post back in September, where I actually claimed that it was the new Shaun Of The Dead, has been in the cinema for a month now, and it’s taken that long for me to be able to attend a screening of it. I know, it’s awful.

However you may be intrigued to know, that Zombieland, being described by some as ‘pure in your face blood and guts,‘ would only be half right, actually, not even that. Maybe a third right. There is blood and guts, like in any zombie film, but this is completely outweighed by the end of the film and it’s rather large amount of humour throughout. A rather nice touch is the set of survival rules laid out by the first protagonist we come across. Another being ‘Zombie kill of the week’ and another lovable performance is that of the lovable Bill Murray. The zombie genre is far from dead, that’s clear my friends.

Zombieland is a greatly crafted zomcom with excellent performances from all the stars, and I actually mean that for once. Kudos to the casting agent, a job very well done. Because there isn’t a moment throughout Zombieland where you won’t enjoy yourself, fulfilling, fun, and a complete riot. It’s almost like a roller-coaster ride of complete and utter immeasurable entertainment, where even the troughs aren’t disappointing. It certainly has enough gore to keep the blood-lovers happy and enough gags to laugh your socks off, definitely being ridiculous enough in terms of its wacky plot, ‘Hey, oh my goodness, it’s the zombiepocalypse, ah but what the heck, let’s all have a laugh!‘ Quite possibly the best take on a post-apocalyptic world in a long time.

Each character within the film has, well, how can I put this… Flaws. Purposeful flaws of course, Tallahassee for example is motivated through the zombie-stricken and bloody carnage by one thing. A Twinkie. In fact, one of my favourable lines from Tallahassee is this; “Believe it or not, Twinkies have an expiration date. Someday very soon, life’s little Twinkie gauge is going to go…empty.” Another would be “It wasn’t long before the zombies began to get clever. When you were at your most vulnerable, somehow they could just smell it… Don’t let them catch you with your pants down.” Basically, if you want a laugh, a feel good movie, something to make you feel better about whatever situation your in, or if you just want to see some zombies. This is the movie for you. Worth owning on DVD? Without a doubt. Cult classic? Maybe. Bad movie? Heck no.

Today was my first official pregnancy visit. They stole at least a pint of blood from my poor arm and brainwashed me into getting a flu shot. Baby Daddy got a flu shot in solidarity with me. He’s the best.

Going into this appointment, I was convinced that there had to be twins. That’s the only way I could explain how quickly I’m gaining weight.

It turns out, there is only one baby and this one is apparently a carnivore. Apparently, cheeseburgers and milkshakes are the cause for the extra weight gain.

I had a teacher that once said that drama is for feelings and comedy is for thought. At first I dismissed this idea because how can a movie like Little Nicky or Dickie Roberts: Child Star be thoughtful. But if you think about it, although they are horrible movies, they are indeed thoughtful. The former deals with living up to your father’s expectations, while the latter is about the effects stardom have on a child.

For this reason comedy is my favorite genre. Can you make a drama about a girl trying infiltrate a clique of popular girls to bring them down, and eventually becoming one of them? Yes you can, but it does not have the same effect as a comedy. So, I was quite excited about compiling a list of my favorite comedies of the decade, but it turned out to be harder than I thought. I’m sure I left out a few good ones, but I feel happy with the way it turned out.

Here’s my list for the 10 best comedies of the decade:

10. Shrek

Andrew Adamson, Vicky Jenson | 2001

I saw this without having seen any sort of promotional material for it (how I managed to do that, I don’t know), so imagine my surprise when the movie started. Shrek is a clever take on fairy tales that has jokes coming in very often, and they never get old. Will the movie age well? Probably not because of all the pop culture references, but I will always have fond memories of it.

9. I Love You, Man

John Hamburg | 2009

A great story about friendship sewn together by great chemistry between Paul Rudd and Jason Segel. Together, they make some poorly written lines and situations work. The rest of the cast also does a pretty good job of making this work, among them the always reliable JK Simmons, Andy Samberg, and Rashinda Jones.

8. Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

Adam McKay | 2004

This movie came out at the peak of Will Ferrell’s popularity, that is when he used to do the things he still does, but with good scripts. The story is inpired and a perfect fit for Ferrell’s comedic abilities. The sight gag are great and the dialogue (which is rather good) is delivered perfectly by the cast. And I believe that this is still Ferrell’s best performance.

7. Ratatouille

Brad Bird | 2007

This movie is full of sophisticated and innocent humor. Prior to this it had been a while that I had not seen a non-Pixar animated movie that was hilarious and had clean humor. Yes, there is a poop joke, but that fits the personality of the character that is involved in the joke. Ratatouille made once again made the messy kitchen, the food to the face, slapstick feel fresh once again.

6. School of Rock

Richard Linklater | 2003

Jack Black gives his best and funniest performance here. Yes, the plot has been done before, but the way the story is told, and the earnest performances from the young cast, makes this stand above the rest of other movies with the same plot. Plus, the ending is pure magic.

5. Mean Girls

Mark Waters | 2004

Before “30 Rock” and Sarah Palin made Tina Fey a house-hold name, and before Linday Lohan started doing drugs and ruined her career, they made this movie. Lohan, along with Rachel McAdams, Amanda Seyfriend, and Lacy Chabert, make Fey’s creations come to life in a great way. The movie is full of your typical Fey dialogue, and that alone makes it stand above other comedies.

4. Hot Fuzz

Edgar Wright | 2007

The love that Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg have for bad action movies shows here. And only them could they make an intentionally hilarious action movie like this. The biggest laugh, however, don’t come from the spoofing, but rather from the small moments, like the old man being stabbed in the foot, or the crossword puzzle dialogue exchange. Just great stuff all around.

3. Happy-Go-Lucky

Mike Leigh | 2008

Some do not think that this is a comedy, and I can see why they think that however, since this made me cry because of all the laughter, it definitely qualifies as a comedy. No other movie made me laugh this hard this decade. This is all thanks to Mike Leigh’s great writing and direction, which fleshed out every single character, even those who are on-screen for only a few minutes. The movie also works as a comedy thanks to Sally Hawkins’ amazing performance.

2. Knocked Up

Judd Appatow | 2007

One would think that it would be hard to find comedy in an uncomfortable situation such as an unwanted pregnancy. However, Judd Appatow did, not in the actual situation, but in the fall out from it. Seeing these two people and their families trying either help them or trying to tear them apart is funny as well as seeing them trying to make things work when they are clearly not meant for each other. While his direction may not be the best, Appatow’s script makes the movie work, and one of the best comedies of the decade.

1. In Bruges

Martin McDonagh | 2008

Like Knocked Up, In Bruges finds comedy in a situation that would not necessarily require it. This time it is two killers hiding out after a job goes wrong. The comedy here is mixed in with the anguish that the main characters are feeling, and it works. On one hand we have Ray (Collin Farrell) feeling bad about what he did, and on the other we have him, and his partner Ken (Brendan Gleeson), getting into all sorts of trouble with their boss, a local drug dealer, Canadians, Americans, thieves and a midget. Even when things get awfully dark, the movie keeps it’s sense of humor, and that’s why it is the best comedy of the decade.

Honorable mentions: The 40-year-old Virgin, Role Models, Superbad, WALL-E, Amelie, Cheaper by the Dozen, Shrek 2, Blades of Glory, Juno, Little Miss Sunshine, The Spongebob Squarepants Movie, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Shaun of the Dead, The Royal Tenenbaums, The Darjeeling Limited

Thanks for reading. Feel free to comment about this list.

“Can I share with you my worldview? All of humankind has one thing in common: the sandwich. I believe that all anyone really wants in this life is to sit in peace and eat a sandwich.” –  Liz Lemon, 30 Rock

And that is exactly what I plan to do on this day, National Sandwich Day. Sit in peace and eat my go-to sandwich: the T.B.M sandwich from Cosi. With only a mere three ingredients, this sandwich somehow speaks to my soul and brightens even the darkest of days (no thanks to you, Daylight Savings Time.) If this sandwich was a man, I’d be rolling around in bed with it right now. Hell, maybe I’ll do it anyway.

My love of sandwiches and my love of men run almost parallel to each other on the mathematical graph of my life, intersecting only at the moment someone lets me eat a sandwich and have sex at the same time. That’s the stuff dreams are made of. And until that time comes, I’ve thought up a few sandwich ideas that bring my two weaknesses together.

The “I Love You, Sandwich” Sandwich: A piece of Paul Rudd in between two slices of Jason Segel with a side of honey mustard. Paul is the tried-and-true turkey to Jason’s hesitant-at-first-but-turns-out-to-be-a-party-in-my-mouth avocado. Unstoppable.

Ocean’s 11-Grain Sandwich: George Clooney and Brad Pitt lying neatly between two pieces of multi-grain bread. Let’s face it. George is getting old, bound to be a little gritty. But Brad balances out the sandwich with his smooth and creamy loins texture. Add a little Matt Damon on top for a little extra pop of flavor.

The Knocked-Up Fat Cat: A large submarine sandwich filled with ingredients such as, but not limited to: French fries, mozzarella sticks, chicken fingers, jalapeño poppers, pizza bites, Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill. Because who doesn’t get the munchies from time to time? Maybe you can cut it with the Samurai sword you keep in your room.

The Guilty Pleasure Open-Face Melt: Because there’s nothing I like more than Chace Crawford, Ed Westwick and whole wheel of cheese.  As much as you would like to just say no in the face of temptation, I’d like to see anyone deny these Gossip Girl stars…. especially if they’re covered in gooey, melted, cheesy goodness.

The Sloppy Jack: Grade-A man meat Jack Black is a hot mess. But we love him anyway. It’s obviously going to splatter all over the crotch of your pants, but no one ever cries over spilt Jack Black. I want my Manwich, please!

That’s Baby Daddy on Halloween; the hair is real.

Somewhere, there is a picture of the two of us and one day I will find it. But for now, you just have to imagine The Pink Slip at his side.

Photo Courtesy: zimbio.com

” I suppose I’m creative since I create things.” – Charlyne Yi

Started her stand up career through an audition at the Improv, near her house, Yi believes that EVERYONE should do what they want to do and do it because YOU like it.

According to Yi, her success doesn’t happen merely because her hard works, but it’s also about TRUST from people around her. Frank, the manager of the Improv, where she auditioned, gave her a second chance after the first “horrible” audition — as she claimed it to be.

“If it wasn’t for him, I’m not sure where I would be. Because of my humor, not being of ‘traditional stand up comedy’, it was hard for me to get booked places. Anyone whoever booked me changed my life,” Yi said.

In fact, Matt Besser of of Upright Citizens Brigade theater allowed her to put her own show at his theater. That opportunity gave Yi the chance to be seen by people from the [entertainment] industry. From then on, Yi gets more opportunities of getting a manager, writing jobs and MORE auditions.

When it comes to her works, Yi takes almost everything GOOD for inspiration. “…sometimes the real world, events that happen to people that i see, or experience, or things that happen to me. Sometimes dreams. Sometimes purely imagination,” Yi said.

Just like she said about how hard it is to book a place because she is different. It’s kind of true, not only to the entertainment industry, but also to different individuals who have different tastes. Yi’s humor is not for everyone. But Yi knows that she loves what she does so she does it… and that is why we love her.

“I don’t know. Sometimes I don’t think I’m trying to be funny. Sometimes i just want to do something sincere, or sometimes I hope that they think something is funny, but am unsure because it’s maybe only funny to me,” Yi said. “I am not sure how to describe it [her sense of humor]. but, I am definitely not trying to be different.”

Not only comedy, she does music too. She has 10 bands. “No joke,” Yi said. And collaborating with people is one of the things that she likes. Learned how to play guitar from her friend, Raymond, Yi’s favorite instruments are guitar and harp. The portability of a guitar is what makes her like it and yes, she writes songs with the help of a guitar because that’s the easiest way for her. As for harp, Yi likes it because “it seems fancy and has a peaceful sound,” Yi said.

This vegetarian, who loves Mexican food, thinks that all of the three movies she’s been in are memorable. Her first movie experience, Knocked Up was “terrifying and amazing.” Even though we all know that she is an AWESOME performer, the Biz Markie fan, Yi, is not so confident when it comes to All About Steve, “I am embarrassed of that footage of me. I am horrible in that brief segment.”

As for her last movie, Paper Heart, Yi claimed that it’s a true adventure. “Paper Heart was a movie i was so involved in. So, of course, i will remember that experience and find it memorable. And also we met so many great people along the way of making the actual documentary portion.”

Looking for the meaning of love in the movie, Paper Heart, Yi doesn’t explain the definition that she has found (or maybe, she hasn’t found it) in the interview. However, Yi sure knows what she’s looking for in a guy.

“[my ideal guys] has the same sense of humor as me, is creative, says what he means, good at communicating, likes me as much as i like him, brave, intelligent, considerate, isn’t self destructive, humble, teaches me things, grows with me, strong-willed,” Yi said.

After five years of struggle, she finally get paid for what she loves doing. She is not old from what we can see, but she doesn’t want to mention her REAL age because age is just a number to her.

“I feel like people grow according to how they hold themselves and what they’ve learned as a human being,” Yi said. “The skin on the outside doesn’t always match up.”

Having to watched Capitalism: A Love Story, she wants to change the world because that’s what documentaries do to her — make her want to do something about the world. But, we all know for sure, there are many more creative things coming from her.

“My family who supported my decision to pursue what i do, the people who show up to my shows. Everybody is a key to where i am now. Wherever that is.” – Charlyne Yi

Check out Yi’s MySpace

]]> http://mavenity.org/2009/10/29/the-millennial-feminist-the-ugly-truth/ Thu, 29 Oct 2009 15:34:09 +0000 clarely http://mavenity.org/2009/10/29/the-millennial-feminist-the-ugly-truth/

The Ugly Truth came out summer 2009

This weekend, my roommate and I decided to watch a mindless romantic comedy together, and eventually we settled on The Ugly Truth. What an apt title it turned out to be, for it is a perfect example of quite an ugly truth: the modern “post-feminist,” modern woman as a neurotic, passive, walking contradiction. My roommate, who is also a feminist, and I alternately shouted at the screen, covered our eyes in abject horror and were eventually reduced to a spittle-filled rage. Ok, maybe that last part was just me. Movies like The Ugly Truth, and the characterizations they get away with make me so angry, for they are peddled to the mainstream as the acceptable definition for male/female archetypes, and are a huge contributing factor in the Male Gaze, and the boxes into which we put women.

Heigl plays Abby Richter, a powerhouse morning show producer in Sacramento, California. She’s a total control freak with a disastrous dating history. Her assistant has signed her up for online dating, and we follow her on one date, wherein she kills it in the first five minutes by berating her date about ordering bottled water over tap. SHE’S A TIGHTLY WOUND, NEUROTIC, FEMINIST WOMAN, OK? She, of course, also lives by herself and has a cat. Spinster stereotype complete. Within the first ten minutes we are plunged into the set-up: she catches a cable access program featuring Mike Chadway who preaches “The Ugly Truth” — that women live in a fantasy world, men are MEN, and love doesn’t exist. She calls in and unleashes a tirade about how the perfect man, and love, does exist. Even I’ll give Mike the credit here when he writes off her list as “so, a gay guy, basically?” Then he burns her by pointing out that she doesn’t even KNOW this guy, it’s all just theoretical.

Then, because this is a situational romantic comedy, Abby’s station manager hires Mike to do a spot on the morning show, to help improve their piddling ratings. He’s a hit! And because timing in life and movies is perfect, that evening she meets her charming, handsome new neighbor Colin, who is a doctor (nevermind that she meets him after chasing her cat up a tree. Oy). She acts like a total spaz, rambling like a crazy person, and then launching into a happy dance when he gives her his number… which of course he sees. (she’s wacky, ok? And desperate.) Through one thing or another, Mike helps Abby score a date with Colin (in a long, drawn out phone scene where he encourages Abby to play games — OH, THAT’S NOT A STEREOTYPICAL CATTY BITCH TRAIT AT ALL), and she takes him on as her personal adviser. Or they make a bet. Or something equally thinly veiled. Mike gives Abby a makeover, both physical and behavioral — hair extensions because no man wants a woman with “short hair” (hers is shoulder length!), a sexy bra because men want to see “the girls,” a pair of hip-hugging jeans that show off your ass, eat phallic food sexily to put him in the mood (he advises her to suggestively eat a hot dog), and don’t criticize him or show off your knowledge (or be more successful than he is) because he needs to FEEL LIKE A MAN, DAMMIT. Abby puts up faux resistance and gobbles up his advice like a starving kitten, basically being taught to behave like a coy, docile piece of girlcandy. This is how you get a man, ladies! Pay attention.

Manwhore Mike posing with the jello wrestling girls. No, really.

Of course, Abby and Mike fall in love, Colin can’t love her for who she is, yada yada. Whatever. I could handle the shortcomings of this film if it weren’t for the frustrating contradictions being presented — Heigl as an alleged uptight/neurotic/feminist whatever, who despite being FREAKING GORGEOUS and with a SMOKING BOD, and meant to be believed as a shrew who likes knitting and loves her cat and can’t get a date. She’s portrayed as the hardened woman, which is completely unbeliveable in and of itself, and then she is remolded into this stereotypical Sex and the City girl who defines herself by her body, sexuality (insert many tits and ass jokes. MANY) and her man. Don’t even get me started on the scene that caused the biggest stir: Mike, in order to cure Abby of her frigidity (because of course uptight feminist women are total prudes), buys her a pair of vibrating panties, with a remote control. She ends up wearing them to a business dinner/date with Colin, and when the kid one table over finds the remote, she has a big ole orgasm right there at the table, with Mike laughing on. I could write an entire post on this moronic scene, but it boils down to this: the naive girl (WOMAN!) doesn’t know how to accept pleasure, so the big strong man must show her how to access her sexuality. KILL ME NOW.

And then there’s Mike, who is a big fat nothing — they give him a doting nephew character and hint at a painful back story that shaped his Master of ManWhores shtick (which turns out to be lacklustre — ok, you had a lot of bad dates in your 20s… so?), but there’s nothing actually charming or endearing about Gerard Butler’s portrayal. See, if there were better writing, across the board, and a better male protagonist, I might be able to buy into this. Ok, probably not, but I wouldn’t hate it so much. Abby is ultimately a completely passive, vapid, walking sex-kitten, who falls for Mike because he’s hard with her, and she likes it. Nothing like being dominated by a neanderthal. It’s just… insulting. Abby Richter is a horrible female character, who reinforces so many negative stereotypes — she’s a weak-willed woman who defines herself by being with a man, who is being passed off a strong character. And we wonder why the modern woman aspires to being a vapid sex pot, ala Paris Hilton or the girls of Gossip Girl?

I know, it shocks me too that this was written by women

The worst offense is that this piece of shlock was written by two women. It is truly remarkable how women seem to do the most harm against other women in the media. It’s a particular shame, as co-writer Karen McCullah Lutz has previously penned Legally Blonde, 10 Things I Hate About You and She’s the Man, which actually had semi-legitimate, modern feminist characters. (semi-legitimate, and generally acceptable being the key terms XD) I don’t know if it’s just the writing (which is pretty bad), or the casting of Gerard Butler (a more charming male lead might have helped soften the blows) or even Heigl. Would a less pretty, more “feminist” actress have done the part a better service? 10 Things had Julia Stiles and She’s the Man had Amanda Bynes, though it’s also entirely possible that McCullah Lutz only manages strong female characters when they were originally designed by Shakespeare, ha! I know that “pretty” girls have an entirely different set of issues, but at the end of the day, Heigl’s Abby was not only impossible to buy into, but just generally an insult to any forward-thinking, actually intelligent woman.

It’s an irony that Katherine Heigl is now well known for having trashed her starring vehicle Knocked Up, saying in Vanity Fair “[Knocked Up is] a little sexist. It paints the women as shrews, as humorless and uptight, and it paints the men as lovable, goofy, fun-loving guys. … I had a hard time with it, on some days. I’m playing such a bitch; why is she being such a killjoy?” The Ugly Truth is a far WORSE portrayal of the uptight, neurotic woman and is incredibly sexist. What? Did she think she was playing a feminist here? While I don’t disagree that Knocked Up — and most Judd Apatow movies — don’t do the best things for women, at least I can sleep at night knowing that, ok, they are marketed to men. But The Ugly Truth is a chick flick, where clearly everything about it is marketed to women and, God help us, written by women.

I like the bite back delivered by her Knocked Up co-star Seth Rogen, about The Ugly Truth: “I hear there’s a scene where she’s wearing … underwear … with a vibrator in it, so I’d have to see if that was uplifting for women.”

Burn.

I finally heard back from the doctor on the holter monitor results. Looks like my heart palpitations are considered normal and nothing to worry about, so yippee!

Last week, I congratulated myself on how remarkably great I felt…very little nausea, high energy, and the remarkable ability to pop out of bed at 7am every morning. For a brief moment, I thought I was going to be one of those women.

No such luck.

Baby Daddy went on his first El Poquito run to procure some keep-nausea-at-bay lollies during work one afternoon. I love him.

As I was procrastinating going to bed last night (hotel + overtired + no doggie), I visited lemondrop.com to read the latest news of the weird.

There I found the article, “What’s the Most Embarrassing Movie You Ever Watched with a Parent?.” “Knocked Up,” “American Pie,” and “Borat” were just a few of the films that made for “the most awkward hour and a half of my life” for several peeps and their parents.

I honestly don’t remember getting into too much discomfort with my mom at movies.  She did watch “Monty Python’s Flying Circus” with me on TV one Saturday night when I was a kid — right when a naked women ran across the screen for no apparent reason — and told me she didn’t want me watching ‘that filth’ anymore.  (Since she was rarely up that late, I readily agreed — what she didn’t know didn’t get me in trouble.)

My most embarrassing movie-going moment was when I took my cousin Joe and his wife Linda to see “The 40-Year Old Virgin” during a visit to Chicago.  They are both about 15 years older then me, a fact that I usually forget.  They seem my age most of the time…that is, until we sat down and watched that film.

Suddenly, I was in the theater with my grandparents.  Every F word, every dirty joke, every sex scene and condom flying through the air was TORTURE.

I was afraid to laugh aloud.  My cousin Linda actually laughed first — I don’t recall what prompted it — so thereafter I felt I could at least make polite noises  (even though I was guffawing in my head).

By the end of the movie, I was sore from sitting so tensely.  I had a headache, too — not your typical post-comedy reaction.

As we pulled out of the theater parking lot, I nervously asked Joe and Linda what they thought of the film.  They both rolled their eyes and made the noises you make when you don’t want to say “Wow, the movie you picked out sucked.”  I offered to give them a refund, but they wouldn’t bite.  (They had bought the tickets, I bought the snacks.)

Joe and I still laugh about that night.  But for some reason, he doesn’t trust my movie reviews anymore.

Tragic.