I see dead koalas. Probably at a frequency of one per week. Their fat round fluffy grey/brown/white furred bodies don’t flatten easily apparently. Sometimes I glimpse a leathery black nose amid the gory mess as I speed by on my way to work.

The Princes Highway is the A1 highway that loops completely around Australia. This particular stretch of this major highway is rural, coastal, farming, open and bare to the prevailing cold sea winds from the Antarctic. Wind turbines are multiplying along this coastline.

So where do the koalas come from? Go to? Live? There are some treed areas but often I’ll see a dead one in an area that has no native trees, only Cyprus trees planted by early settlers.

I worry about them. As well as being cute in appearance, they are non-threatening and gentle creatures. They are an endangered species. Sure I see lots of other road-kill such as kangaroos, wallabies, foxes, rabbits, and birds. But it is the squashed koalas that upset me the most. I often see a mangled mess of fur and flesh and blood at the end of black skid marks from car tyres. It is far more gruesome than a Twilight movie. (But that’s not hard).

I hope I never see a live one on the road before my car. Would I swerve and dangerously cause an accident? Or would I plough straight through it? I hope I am never tested. A common topic of conversation in this region is about people who have damaged their cars from collisions with kangaroos and koalas.

Then today on my way home from work I was glad to avoid running over a huge snake sliding across the highway. It wasn’t a brown or black snake – maybe a tiger snake. These too are protected species and I’m glad the one I saw lived.

CRIKEY, what a day! Temperature must have topped at well over 30 today and we decided today was the day for Australia Zoo.

The boys and the Irwins!

Nick wasn’t feeling well but, being a big brave alpha male (well, we let him think that, anyway) he decided we could do the Zoo anyway.

We left about 8.30, not knowing really what to expect. 40 minutes drive to the tune of “Are we there yet?” Oh joys!

Arrived just after opening time and went straight for the shuttle ride. Not that we’re lazy or anything but it did a path that took in most of the areas of the Zoo and gave us an idea of what was there and the (vast) area it covered!

After the shuttle ride, we headed back to the Crocs (via the Gators!) for a look around their enclosures.

Both were pretty impressive and we were looking forwards to the ’show’ in the Crocoseum.

The tortoises were also pretty awesome. HUGE things. Would have been great to get a pic of the boys with it but had to settle for the lizard instead.

Tortoise just after feeding

Tortoise and lizard

We grabbed an early lunch and found a decent seat in the stadium ready for the show. Started with the usual ‘crowd baiting’ and then a walk-through by the elephants.

Elephant walk-through

Next up, several handlers came in showing and introducing the snakes (pretty impressive watching the snake in the water. Boy, it was fast!)

Snake and handler in the water

After snakes, we saw various birds. The parrots were stunning. Very vibrantly coloured and soon joined by more (noisier) birds, all speeding manically round the stadium!

Of course what we and everyone else were waiting for was the croc! I have to admit the croc demonstration was shorter than I expected but it was certainly pretty impressive. Let’s just say I wouldn’t enter that arena with one!

Croc and handler

After the show, we had a wander through the koalas. I think pretty much all the koalas we saw were sleeping. Apparently, this is because they only eat eucalyptus and it’s not high in energy!

ahhhhhhhh!

We bought some food ($1 a bag) for the kangaroos and headed into the ‘Roos. The first roo we saw was a bit reluctant to eat (probably sick of the same old pellet food!) but we soon found a more willing eater. They were really tame.

Eliot feeding a 'roo

Jake feeding a 'roo

By about 3pm we’d spent 6 hours at the Zoo and were pretty wiped out. We did a last-minute tour around the snakes which Eliot LOVED, especially as he’d just spent some of his money on a toy snake which was spending considerable time either wrapped around his neck or dangling towards unsuspecting children who he seemed to enjoy freaking out!

We left the zoo by about 3.30 and headed home via the supermarket (for drinks and after-bite cream. The mozzies FEASTED on me last night!) and a scenic drive down the Bongaree side of the island (the bridge side, rather than the ocean/surf side where we’re staying)

Did tea and chilled for a bit before heading to the beach at about 6pm. This time, however, I did something really brave. I donned my swimsuit for the first time and, accessorised with a sarong (ooh, get me!) waddled to the beach alongside the boys in their swimwear.

And yes, I DID actually venture into the sea! It was beautiful jumping around in the surf in the sunset. Oh yes, there are photos as proof too (see below!)

Tracey and boys in the sea

And no, you WON’T be seeing a bigger version!

It was great fun though. We spent about an hour down there, jumping about in the surf. The boys often got knocked over my the strength of the waves but they didn’t care one bit. They just jumped back up and tackled the next one!

All in all, we’ve had a great day!

Tomorrow, we’re booked onto a river cruise.  We’re doing the 3 hour Devonshire Morning Cruise along the Pumicestone Passage which is the body of water that separates the island from the mainland, where the bridge crosses. It’s possible we could see turtles, dolphins and all matter of other creatures so I’m quite looking forwards to passing a leisurely morning on the water tomorrow.

Right, now I need to wake (a rather suffering) Nick and get the boys in bed! If the last few days are anything to go by, being ready to leave the house for 9am tomorrow shouldn’t be a problem but it’d be sod’s law that everyone wants to sleep in, wouldn’t it?!

We’ll see

SYDNEY – Australian koalas are being struck down by a version of AIDS, and may soon become extinct!

Koalas are being infected by a version of AIDS called KIDS, or Koala Immune Deficiency Syndrome. It strikes more quickly than the human strain, and is leaving koalas open to a number of deadly diseases, including chlamydia.

It is believed that the national population of koalas has dropped from 100,000 to 43,000 in only a matter of six years. If the decline continues, koalas could be gone by 2040!

See the devastating report below:

By Columnist Harry Trunckles

For more information, be sure to check out Answers in Genesis!

I pitched my movie idea to Disney, but apparently there isn't a market for the Dimetrodon King.

These were really the worst things to find fucking around in your eucalyptus trees.

Well…we lost Karen yesterday, as she had to go back to the states and teach our nation’s children.  There were tiny tears.  She will be missed.

Now it’s really Tricia Jessica Australia…oh boy…

Jess and I made it to Melbourne late last night after 14 hours on a Greyhound Australia bus…that’s right…the bus ride through the middle of nowhere turned into the same amount of time it took us to fly over the Pacific from LA to Sydney.  The best part was it was pouring rain upon arrival at 11 p.m. last night and on the five block walk to the hostel from the bus station a cab whizzed by splashing Jessica “Bridget Jones Edge of Reason” style!  We were already soaked and it got me too, but she was in front and so got the worst of the extra typhoon.  At that point we had to laugh…what were we thinking picking the bus over just ponying up the extra $50 for a flight?  Or a cab even?  Oh yeah…we’re thinking we’re kind of unemployed…

Anyway, I was able to finish Day 4 yesterday pre-laptop battery death.  The photos take forever to upload which is also part of the time delay issue.  We’re heading to the Vegan Life Sanctuary to WWOOF later this afternoon and I’m not sure if they have internet access or not (I’m guessing no since they’re hard-core yogis and it’s a retreat center).  So I may be radio silent until Friday the 4th when we head up to Cannes for some Great Barrier Reef action.  At least I’ll have lots of time to meditate and write after picking veggies for five hours a day.

This is going to be oh-so-interesting…!

xx, Trish

DAY 4 (or Tuesday, November 24^th Aussie time)

Karen got up bright and early for a morning beach run to blow off some hyper steam.  The rest of us slowly woke to find another cloudy, cool summer day in Sydney.  Great!  Time to wear the old USC sweatshirt.  Again.

After some much-needed non-hostel machine coffee we decided to check out the famous Taronga Zoo instead of the previously intended beaches.  Of course as we entered the city it started to rain and fear that the furry creatures would seek shelter instead of pose for our pictures we made an impromptu stop at the Museum of Sydney.  Why that museum in particular?  Because that’s literally where the bus line ended and dropped us off.

Now from what I understand there are lots of wonderful museums in the city, from Contemporary Art, to Natural History, to quirky historical ones like in The Rocks.  Perhaps from working at a world renowned museum like The Getty I’ve become a bit of a museum snob because while the Museum of Sydney was a beautiful space chock full of the latest technological display gadgets, I wasn’t super impressed.  This was mostly in part because I felt it just didn’t quite know what it wanted to be.  A lot of dry, dense paragraphs describing the original British founders of Australia covered the walls, as well as a handful of drawings and photographs of the bridge construction, etc. and then it had a couple of random modern art galleries.

One of the strangest parts was the “Storylines” room which held two flatscreens on opposite sides of the room surrounded by seats (like two mini theaters).  On an interactive touch-pad screen you chose from a large variety of historical characters, some fact and some fictional representatives throughout Aussie history, and then they spoke to you about some facet of their life/cultural history.  These were of course actors performing cheesy, overly dramatic and weirdly lit monologues to camera.  Some were downright creepy.  We lasted through about four out of twenty or so and one that stood out in particular was a Hawaiian woman talking about how she and her fellow island women traded sex with the white men in exchange for ship nails to use as tools.  Now that’s an education you don’t get every third grade field trip!

The two art galleries displayed works from pop artist Martin Sharp and photographer Martin Mischkulnig.  Mischkulnig’s pictures were fascinating, as they captured pieces of outback and rural western Australia rarely ever seen by tourists.  The one I remember most was a very modest rancher in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of small kangaroo hides hanging on the laundry line to dry.  I want to hope they just found five-ish juvenile kangaroos dead from natural causes just lying around and that’s how they got there.  I have a feeling, though, that my Disney-fied version is far from reality.

Finally, the museum just wasn’t that big.  We did it all in less than two hours.  I suppose paying only $8 Australian for admission (thanks to our HI, or Hostel International, concession) plus the temporary rain cover means I really shouldn’t complain.

Upon exit we passed a swanky, catered mixer of intellectual types in abstract designer ties dining on bite-sized ham and cheese croissants.  On one hand this made me miss my Getty days full of baked brie and truffle receptions full of arts and culture talk…and on the other it made me see how much my life has changed since then…in a good way.  I think.

The rain ceased and so we grabbed a quick pasta lunch at an upscale food court that could rival Century City Plaza in LA.  Afterwards we hopped on the ferry to Taronga Zoo.

As you can see you can get the same photo on said free ferry as from our chartered sailboat ride.  Ahh, well.  C’est la vie.

When you arrive at Taronga you can either take a bus to the front entrance (which of course is nowhere near where they drop you) or ride the high rope cable car.  Tough decision, eh?  I mean anytime you have a chance to float directly above elephants, gorillas, and hungry crocodiles you should take it, right?

First we went to…guess…the koalas, of course!  These creatures could bring the warm and fuzzy corners of the darkest hearts to light.  In fact they come across as so childlike and content that they almost seemed like animatronic creations out of Jim Henson’s muppet magic lab.

We stood there for at least ten minutes just watching them eat and leap from extremely tall tree to tree.  Later in the afternoon we caught the end of a zookeeper talk regarding the koala bear.  Did you know they are generally solitary creatures and spend most of their entire lives alone?  Hence why they don’t really like to be held or touched and why the zoo no longer allows it.  Also, there is a law that states something like Aussie zoos can only have one koala per 1,000 eucalyptus trees due to the huge amounts of leaves they consume.  Now that’s an appetite.

In the kangaroo station there was a wallaby mom with her joey in her pouch—a very cool sight to see up close.

We almost lost Karen when she stumbled backwards over some rocks for a photo with an Emu.  Yeah…those rocks were the border where humans weren’t supposed to tread.  Right about then was when I realized how much we’re going to seriously miss Karen when she leaves on Sunday.  The girl is a neverending source of awesomeness mixed with serious comic relief.

This old man kangaroo just stood in the walking path with no intentions of moving…almost beckoning visitors to pet him.

The Italian did.  The rest of us were a bit scared of the wrath of the zookeeper keeping an eye on the wallaby family and quite frankly of the old kangaroo getting cranky.

We saw a lot of the usual zoo suspects, from elephants and giraffes, to penguins and peacocks.  The cool twist was the Sydney skyline in the background across the bay.

By the time we got back to the hostel it was evening and another lovely dinner of peanut butter sandwiches and potato chips ensued.  I tried to blog, but couldn’t last too long.  I’m embarrassed to admit we were all in bed by 10 p.m. (or 3 a.m. LA time).  The jetlag we experienced was so much stronger than I ever imagined.  This is also combined of course with tons of walking all day long.  We were so the old ladies at the hostel.

I woke around midnight and got up to use the restroom.  Totally out of it and barely opening my eyes I opened our room door and almost slammed it right into a gorgeous guy, scaring me half to death (meaning I jumped back and mumbled a weird sound of fright, then embarrassedly said, “Sorry!”).  The tanned, toned surfer type just laughed and replied, “Don’t say sorry.  No worries.”  I stood there for a moment, frozen.  I wanted to die.  I looked like Sleeping Beauty’s ugly cousin, Sleeping Freaky.  He looked back again at me, still smiling and laughing as he turned the corner.  I’m so cool.

Luckily…and sadly…I didn’t see him again.

Las Koalas cautivas se entretienen en orgías sexuales lésbicas | Maikelnai’s blog.

Científicos australianos, monitorizando a través del vídeo a ejemplares de koala criados en cautividadad, descubrieron que las hembras tenían sexo homosexual. En algunos casos las sesiones involucraban hasta a cinco hembras diferentes a la vez. Todo ello a pesar de que en las manadas existían machos.

Los investigadores creen que el fenómeno es solo importante entre koalas cautivos, ya que si viven en su hábitat salvaje, permanecen heterosexuales. Los científicos que realizaron el estudio, pertenecientes a la Universidad de Queensland, comentaron que al inspeccionar los vídeos descubrieron que los encuentros homosexuales eran tres veces más numerosos que los heterosexuales.

El estudio, que se efectuó con 130 especímenes en cautividad, se publicará en la revista Applied Animal Behavior Science.

Extraído de Lesbianism common in captive koalas.

Happy Monday!!

Courtesy of Liz:

Available here.
News

• Barack presses for human rights in China.
• Filipino boxer Manny Pacquiao continues his amazing run by beating Miguel Cotto.

Health care

• The Senate rumbles forward on health care.
• And it’s not going to be easy. Not at all.

Green

• Koalas are facing extinction!

Miscellaneous

• Check out the stimulus tracker from msnbc.com; find out where our $787 billion is going.
• Electronic civil disobedience: the Transborder Immigrant Tool.

Somewhere, a koala is drowning in a swimming pool. His little hind legs are kicking madly and his little front paws aren’t strong or sticky enough to grip the side to pull himself out. It may seem a little coarse of me, but it’s not good for the ecosystem to save koalas from drowning in swimming pools. Have you ever heard of survival of the fittest? Well, it’s what Darwin said when he saw a koala drowning in a swimming pool. He said, “fifty bucks says that koala will never make it. Circle of life.” Then, Darwin continued sipping his martini. That man loved his martinis.

Now, you may be saying to yourself, “Can’t we just cover up the pools so koalas don’t fall in?” That is an option, but swimming pools are basically evolutionary thermometers. These watery death traps allow us to gauge which animals are fit to live. Birds are typically an evolutionary wonder. Even those who can’t fly can swim. Weaker animals that get caught in pools, like rodents or insects, are probably not meant to survive anyway. This is just nature’s way of weeding out the weak.

If you see a koala drowning in your swimming pool, don’t be alarmed. It will all be over soon. Try to occupy yourself with a game of racketball or croquet. If the waterlogged cries of the marsupial begin to sound too “human” and disturbing, you can play some board games inside or occupy yourself with some household chores. Just because a koala is dying in your swimming pool doesn’t mean you can’t be productive!

Remember: just because it’s your swimming pool doesn’t mean you have a responsibility for everything that climbs in. As long as you have the proper signs posted, you should be legally in the clear. If animals can’t read, then that’s just another evolutionary shortcoming they’ll have to learn to get past.

AFP

SYDNEY — Australia’s koalas could be extinct in 30 years, conservationists warned Tuesday, calling for the iconic creatures to be declared an endangered species.

The Australian Koala Foundation said a recent survey indicated numbers may have plunged by more than half in the past six years due to climate change, disease and over-development.

The study showed there were between 43,000 and 80,000 koalas on mainland Australia, down from an estimated 100,000 in 2003, said Foundation chief Deborah Tabart.

“We’re saying (numbers) could be as low as 43,000 and as high as 80,000, Tabart told public broadcaster ABC Radio.

Large numbers have been killed by an outbreak of chlamydia, a sexually transmitted disease, while others have been affected by loss of habitat due to deforestation and climate change, Tabart said.

Hotter, drier conditions had reduced the nutritional value of their staple food, eucalyptus leaves, leading to fatal malnutrition, she said.

“I really think climate change is starting to affect koala populations,” she said.

Tabart said the findings, which were based on surveys of almost 2,000 forest sites, pointed to total extinction of the species within 30 years without government action.

Conservation groups unsuccessfully tried to have the animals declared a vulnerable species in 2006, but Tabart said the new data was proof of a “drastic decline”.

“There has been a great deal of opposition to the protection of the koala over many years and I think that still exists,” she said.

Researcher Bill Ellis said he’d found evidence of localised extinctions and there were “major declines in populations” along the east coast.

The government’s threatened species committee was due to make a recommendation by mid-2010, but representative Bob Beeton said they would not be swayed by its status as one of the country’s favourite animals.

“There’s a number of species which are charismatic and emotionally charged. We don’t consider that,” said Beeton.

“I mean, we’d consider the koala with the same level of diligence and dedication as if it were the death adder.”

Greatest timepiece ever...

And my wife laughed when I blamed it on contact with a koala…

Oh, it was artificial alright…

Personally, I’m shocked he strayed from his hot wife…

And now some real Fun…

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I’m achin’ for a breakin’

jffcrmr.

Well, for those of you that have been asking us about Koalas: here they are!  We took a road trip down to Phillip Island, south-east of Melbourne, last weekend for a quick Halloween getaway.  On the way, we stopped at a Koala sanctuary and finally saw some of the little guys in their natural habitat.  Unfortunately, they don’t let you hold them, as they smell terrible and bite.  Other than that, they sleep in trees for 20 hours a day, and generally don’t do much.

We also saw penguins on Phillip Island at the Penguin Parade.  The island is home to the world’s smallest species of penguin which nests in the dunes on the south side of the Island.  Every night at exactly sunset, hordes of the little guys come in from the ocean, parade up the beach in groups (hence the Penguin Parade) and return home to feed their chicks.  Unbeknownst to us, this is a major tourist attraction, and the beach gets up to 3000 visitors per night to watch.  The area is owned by a nature conservatory which has set up raised walkways and a big amphitheater on the beach, but they don’t allow pictures because it spooks the penguins.  Here’s a picture off the internet to give you some idea:

Here are the rest of the pictures from our trip.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/40458422@N02/sets/72157622723093736/

A Pat By, me mandou um e-mail super triste, sobre o aquecimento global e as consequências na Austrália. Não, ela não é uma louca ambientalista, mas a Austrália é um país de muita importância para nos, como eu já citei aqui!!

Mas o universo que m desculpe, mas eu achei o cumulo da fofura, as fotos dos  Koalas pedindo água!! Ai morri!!

Sei que é horrível, sei que eles não deveriam ter que pedir água, mas fala serio!!!!

Da vontade de esmagar!!!

Por Alida Mayne-Nicholls

La agente Marla se había enfrentado a casos muy difíciles desde que se había graduado de investigadora. Ese evento le había cambiado la vida, como ella siempre había querido. Ahora se encontraba a pocos días de celebrar su primer aniversario como agente, pero estaba tan ocupada con un nuevo caso que no había tenido tiempo siquiera de pensar en cómo iba a conmemorarlo.

“Ya habrá tiempo de pensar en aniversarios”, se había dicho a sí misma durante algunas mañanas, con tanto convencimiento que prácticamente lo había olvidado. Su madre, que seguía siendo una gallina ponedora de gran renombre en la granja, había realizado esfuerzos infructuosos por conseguir la atención de Marla. Y no necesitaba mucho: un listado de sus amigos y la confirmación del día y hora de la fiesta. Ella se encargaría de todo lo demás, desde las decoraciones a la comida. Pero cada vez que trataba de hablar con Marla, ella andaba recorriendo la granja con su lupa, o revisando pistas en el microscopio, o metiendo en bolsitas de plástico las evidencias que encontraba.

Ni siquiera cuando Marla atrapó al ladrón de los guisantes las cosas cambiaron. Estaba demasiado ocupada en revisar por tercera vez la evidencia, para que en el juicio no se cometiera ningún error que pudiera dejar libre al ladrón.

Cuando terminó el juicio –en el cual hubo una inapelable sentencia de “culpable”-, la agente Marla tampoco se dio el tiempo de atender los llamados cluecos de su madre. Ya el mayor Tricho le había hecho llegar una nueva asignación. El caso se veía complicado, de hecho, le parecía que podía tratarse de varios misterios condensados en uno solo, debido a que había habido robos de las más diversas especies, algunos tomados de la mismísima despensa de la casa grande: harina, aceite, papeles de colores, frutillas… Y la lista seguía ampliándose con el correr ¡de las horas!

La agente Marla comprendió rápidamente que no podía perder tiempo en esta asignación, porque el ladrón –aunque posiblemente se trataba de toda una pandilla- actuaba a cualquier hora del día. En algunas ocasiones se denunciaban robos apenas minutos después de que la agente Marla hubiera abandonado la escena del crimen. No podía entender cómo un grupo tan sigiloso de seres la estaba sacando de sus casillas, a ella, que siempre se dejaba guiar por su intelecto.

El principal inconveniente era que el o los ladrones eran muy cuidadosos. La mayor parte de las veces no conseguía ninguna pista, nada, ni siquiera la huella parcial de una pata de gallo. Al principio le había sorprendido la sagacidad de los ladrones, luego la sorpresa se había convertido en desazón. Había llegado a tal extremo su pesar, que temía que no podría resolver el caso. ¿Y qué pasaría entonces con su reputación? Después de todo, la agente Marla tenía un registro impecable y en su hoja de vida sólo había reconocimientos y felicitaciones. No podía manchar eso con un “caso no resuelto”.

Tenía ya una gran colección de robos relacionados con el caso y tan poca evidencia, que pensó que lo apropiado sería no seguir dejando sus propias patas marcadas en el suelo de tanto andar, y encerrarse en su cuarto a pensar. Si el ladrón era tan inteligente, entonces necesitaría pensar con más claridad que nunca para descubrirlo. Aunque no tenía muchas pistas, tal vez podría llegar a pensar como él y si lo pillaba con las manos en la masa, eso contaría para cualquier jurado.

La agente Marla cerró con llave su cuarto y se sentó en un pequeño taburete, mirando hacia la pared. Era como si su madre la hubiera castigado, pero lo cierto es que no quería interrupción ni distracción alguna. Se apoyó en sus rodillitas y se puso a pensar, pensar y pensar. Su mente no se detuvo y, de pronto, se dio cuenta. Se llegó a caer de espaldas de la impresión, dejando que algunas de sus plumitas se desprendieran y volaran por los aires. Muy compuesta se levantó, arregló su plumaje y abrió la puerta.

Claro que había una pista. En todas las escenas del crimen había visto lo mismo. No le había dado importancia, no lo había relacionado con el ladrón, porque la marca aparecía antes del robo. ¡Los lugares que iban a ser asaltados eran marcados antes! Y ella había visto esa marca aparecer en un nuevo lugar. Si se apuraba llegaría antes que los ladrones hubieran partido y los esposaría en el acto.

Se acercó hasta el gallinero, y notó más movimiento del que ya tenía un gallinero lleno de gallinas ponedoras. Pensó que los ladrones ya estaban adentro, así que corrió, derribó la puerta y ¡los sorprendió en el acto! O más bien, la sorprendieron a ella en el acto. Porque al echar abajo la puerta, se dio cuenta de que no había ladrones, sino una fiesta para celebrar su primer año como agente. Su madre lo había planeado todo con el mayor Tricho, sabiendo que lo único que podría llamar la atención de Marla era un caso de difícil resolución. Así que la agente Marla olvidó el caso –“aunque de todas maneras lo resolví”, pensaba ella- y se dedicó a celebrar con sus amigos.

Oficialmente, ningún funcionario del Creador o La Naturaleza ha reconocido  su responsabilidad en el asunto; además, los Babuinos son sumamente desmemoriados, de manera que nadie recuerda  quién fue el desconsiderado que les hizo probar la goma de mascar de fresa por  primera vez.

-Esto es algo que el Hombre ideará por allá por el siglo XX –dijo el culpable-,  me parece muy rica…¿Quieren probarla?

Nada más probarla los Babuinos, una terrible adicción a la goma de mascar de fresa  corrió entre ellos como un reguero de pólvora. Donde uno mirase, allí había un babuino comiendo goma de mascar de fresa. Para  qué contarles las proezas que hacían para conseguirla, considerando que todavía no se había inventado.

Al principio fue divertido.  Nadie que masque goma de mascar  podrá evitar verse un poco ridículo y si  uno tiene los colmillos del tamaño de los de  un Babuino,  ya pueden imaginar la escena. Hilarante, eso dijeron  de ellos los Leones y en menos que canta un gallo,  eran la comidilla de toda la fauna africana.

Los Babuinos son animales muy sociables, pero su vida social se reduce estrictamente a…los demás Babuinos. Por esa razón, tardaron bastante en hacerse cargo de  que los demás animales los consideraban ridículos y aún después de que todos se reían de ellos,  a decir verdad, les importó bien poco. ¡Es que las gomas de mascar de fresa  compensaban  cualquier mal rato, tan deliciosas como eran!

De modo que iban por allí  haciendo  globos color rosa y encontrando muy divertido cuando estos se reventaban y quedaban adheridos a su nariz, sus orejas, el árbol más cercano o algún desdichado animal que tuviese la mala suerte de ir pasando en ese mismo momento.  No había quien no estuviese  furioso con ellos, pero los Babuinos arrojaban su  goma de mascar ya sin sabor al suelo y sacaban otra que empezaban a masticar de inmediato. 

Cuando adquirieron esta pésima costumbre (porque antes tenían otra igual de mala, pegarlos a las rocas o los troncos de los árboles) el malestar  de la fauna salvaje alcanzó ribetes insospechados: ¿Cómo podía  León  conservar su majestuosidad con la  melena  pegoteada? ¿Qué gracia  tenía el caminar de la Jirafa cuando  una  pata  pegajosa la forzaba a cojear? ¿Cómo podía una Gacela conservar su vida cuando, apenas  ponía patas en polvorosa,  pisaba una goma de mascar y se iba de bruces  delante de las Hienas o los Licaones?

Y ya saben como es la burocracia: tanto El Creador como La Naturaleza estaban conscientes del problema, pero  ninguno quería resolverlo para no ser acusado de ser el causante del problema.

Lo peor es que, en esos tiempos primigenios, los Babuinos vivían en los mejores terrenos de la sabana y ocupaban los mejores bosques de acacias.  La contaminación por goma de mascar de fresa amenazaba con la destrucción del hábitat y ponía en jaque la industria turística. ¿Quién querría pasear  por  el Ngorongoro a riesgo de pisar, o peor aún, sentarse, en una goma blanducha y ennegrecida por el sol?

Toda clase de quejas se presentaron en las respectivas oficinas de partes, sin embargo,conscientes de lo  demorosas que suelen ser estas apelaciones,  los animales salvajes prefirieron esperar con calma. Ya llegaría tiempo, en un par de millones de años, de recibir la anhelada solución.

Entretanto, la vida en la selva seguía su curso normal. Aparecían nuevas especies, los antepasados del Hombre se paseaban por las canteras de Olduvai y a las sequías les sobrevenían  copiosas lluvias.  Los Babuinos incluso tenían ahora  nuevos sistemas para conseguir su bocado favorito, de manera que la mitad de África estaba cubierta de  goma de mascar pegajosa a la espera de nuevas víctimas.

Por desgracia, ese año los aguaceros que sucedieron a la sequía fueron tan abundantes que numerosos animales murieron ahogados. Consciente del error y preocupado por  los estragos, El Creador  decidió ver la situación con sus propios ojos. 

Todo un día recorrió la zona, llegando a la conclusión de que los reportes eran un tanto exagerados,  las aguas estaban alcanzando niveles normales y todos estaban felices porque las nuevas pasturas proporcionaban  comida a todas las especies,  engordando a la vez las presas de los carnívoros.

Sucedió  que, cansado de tanta caminata, El Creador tuvo la  mala idea de sentarse a descansar bajo la sombra de unos árboles; corría una deliciosa brisa y aprovechó de  descabezar una siesta.

 Cuando fue a levantarse,  descubrió sorprendido que estaba pegado  al suelo. ¡Se había  dormido sobre un botadero de goma de mascar!

Tratando de quitársela de su mejor  túnica, terminó por esparcirla en sus sandalias y su báculo y, como si fuera poco,  en  la larga cabellera de la que siempre ha  estado tan orgulloso (si no me creen, vean la Capilla Sixtina)

  Para qué les digo el trabajo que tuvieron allá arriba tratando de dejarlo presentable otra vez. Lástima que parte de su pelo debió ser cortado, porque no hubo manera de quitar la goma de mascar. Ya de regreso en sus funciones, El Creador ni siquiera alcanzó a redactar un decreto, estaba tan furioso que lanzó su condena  con un vozarrón que se escuchó en todas las esquinas del universo conocido:

-¡PARA QUE NUNCA OLVIDEN LAS CONSECUENCIAS DE SU DESACATO Y FALTA DE CONSIDERACION, LOS CONDENO A LLEVAR  LA GOMA DE MASCAR EN SUS TRASEROS HASTA EL FIN DE LOS DIAS! – explotó.

Inmediatamente, los traseros de los Babuinos comenzaron a crecer y a tomar un  vistoso color fucsia, adquiriendo la apariencia de una gran goma de mascar húmeda,  pegoteada e inflada.

Lo que al principio fue una tragedia, se vio aminorado por el hecho de que las hembras  lo consideraron muy atractivo y comenzaron a elegir a sus parejas  en razón de lo muy rosada y vistosa que tenía su zona posterior.  Eso les sirvió de consuelo a los machos, pero  tanto rieron los animales salvajes a costa de ellos, que terminaron por mudarse a los más empinados roqueríos y allí, lejos de los demás, se olvidaron totalmente de la goma de mascar de fresa. Ni siquiera  quieren oír hablar de ella.

Ort: Melbourne, Grampians, Great Ocean Road (AUS)
Zeitunterschied: +8 Std. MEZ
Wetter: Eine Frechhheit!

Melbourne ist cool. Melbourne ist sogar ziemlich cool. Die bisher spannendste Stadt auf dem fünften Kontinent. Man sagt ja, man mag entweder Sydney oder Melbourne. Wir mögen Melbourne. Denn Melbourne ist seit langer Zeit mal wieder eine Stadt, die mondänes Flair verströmt, Weltstadt ist. Vier Millionen leben mittlerweile hier, vergleichbar also mit Berlin. Doch wer denkt Berlin ist riesig, dem sei gesagt Melbourne ist flächenmäßig etwa 8x größer. Die Stadt ist prall mit Kunst und Kultur, Kneipen und Bars, Sport und Parks. Und nur mal zum Vergleich: Sydney hat 23 Konzert-Locations, Melbourne hat 68. Es gibt also viel zu tun und wir haben in sieben Tagen einiges gesehen.

Den botanischen Garten, in dem man sich gut mal verlaufen kann, die Innenstadt um den Federation Square mit der nationalen Kunstgalerie, den Queen Victoria Markt, ein nachgebautes Flüchlingscamp von “Ärzte ohne Grenzen” im Treasury Park, einen sonnigen Sonntag an der Strandpromenade von St Kilda, die Schicki-Micki-Läden auf der Chapel St oder das hippe Viertel Fitzroy. Melbourne ist nämlich auch die Modehauptstadt Australiens. Es gibt verdammt viele trendy Melburnians und das ist auch kein Wunder bei der Fülle an Fashion-Outlets, die es an jeder Ecke zu geben scheint. Trotzdem scheint bei der Jugend gerade mal wieder Retro angesagt zu sein. Aktuell: die 80er. Man trägt schwarz, grau und weiß, Leggings und Vacuum-Jeans dürfen nicht fehlen, die Frisur sitzt. In Melbourne ist man eben cool.

Und Melbourne ist auch das Babylon Australiens. Die Zahl der Einwanderer ist so groß, dass der Immigration sogar ein Museum gewidmet ist. Es scheint vor allem Chinesen, Italiener und Griechen zu geben. Man kann durch Chinatown wandern, in Little Italy Pizza essen und im griechischen Bezirk Souvlaki vom Holzkohle-Grill kredenzen gehen.

Melbourne war also eine Stadt, in der wir durchaus länger geblieben wären, wenn nicht wieder eine neue Mission mit einem Spaceship auf dem Programm gestanden hätte. Wir hatten fünf Tage Zeit, um die Grampians und die Great Ocean Road zu erkunden.

Von der bereits mehrfach erwähnten Stadt ging es zuerst durch die viktorianische Perle Ballarat, vorbei an blühenden Raps-Feldern und grünen, saftigen Wiesen direkt nach Halls Gap, dem Touri-Zentrum in den Grampians, einem Sandsteingebirge in einem Nationalpark. Und weil wir ja natürlich etwas vom wertvollen Westgeld sparen wollten, ging es wieder auf die Suche nach einem nicht ganz offiziellen Stellplatz für die Nacht. Meist gibt es ja an den Picknick-Spots Gasgrills und Toiletten für lau, man wird also nicht gerade abgehalten, dort zu campen. So waren wir dann ganz allein in Zumsteins. Naja, ganz allein wäre übertrieben, wenn man zwei Meter große Graue Känguruhs vor sich stehen hat, die sich in der Abenddämmerung den Bauch mit Gras voll schlugen. Die Zeit vom Abend bis zum Morgengrauen ist auch die unentspannteste zum Auto fahren, da immer wieder irgendwelche Beuteltiere am Sraßenrand rumstehen und unangemeldet vor den Kühler springen, was dann eine Riesensauerei hinterlassen würde.

Und die Grampians waren schon sehr fein. Bizarre Felsformationen, weite Täler mit dichtem Baumbewuchs, obwohl das große Feuer von 2006 seine Spuren hinterlassen hat, und eine umfangreiche Fauna. Im Gebiet um das Brambuk Cultural Centre, wo wir uns in die abermals traurige Aborigine-Historie einführen lassen konnten, gab es Unmassen an freilebenden Känguruhs, Emus, Wallabies, Kookaburras oder auch Kakadus. Immer schön vor vorbildlicher Naturkulisse mit den gerade blühenden Wildblumen, es ist nämlich Frühling. Und Frühling ist auch die Zeit des Nachwuchses. Bei Mutter Känguruh schaut ein kleiner Racker aus dem Beutel, Vater Emu hat zwei Küken an der Seite und kommt man einem Elsternnest zu nahe, sollte man besser flüchten. Diese verdammte Psychoelster hat einen schweren Angriffskrieg geflogen und hat uns mehrere 100 Meter verfolgt. Das erinnerte doch stark an Hitchcocks Vögel.

Und noch eine schöne Episode aus Brehms Tierleben. Wir haben ein Känguruh pissen gesehen. Und nein, dieses hat nicht Pipi gemacht, oder klein, das hier hat gepisst. Zwei Meter Känguruh in aufrechter Position mit einem Strahl, der einen erwachsenen Mann hätte töten können und das unkontrolliert in alle Richtungen. Die Menge hätte ausgereicht, um einen flächendeckenden Buschbrand zu löschen. Wir waren schwer beeindruckt. Doch nicht genug der Attraktionen. Im Hintergrund führten zwei graue Riesen einen zünftigen Boxkampf auf, der an eine Kirmesprügelei erinnerte. Die zwei Opponenten standen im Infight auf ihren Schwänzen und traten mit den Hinterkeulen, dass die Schwarte nur so krachte. Da wurde was für’s Auge geboten. Und weil es so schön war, sind wir gleich in dem Wildpark namens Tower Hill kurz vor Warnambool über Nacht geblieben. Unser Spaceship, in finsterster Nacht, umzingelt von Kaninchen, Roos (liebevoll für Känguruh, Anm. d. Red.), Wallabies, Koalas und Emus. Der letzte Stop, bevor es auf die Great Ocean Road gehen sollte.

Great Ocean Road heißt dann zwischen Peterborough und Torquay hauptsächlich an der Küste Victorias entlang, Felsformationen und Szenerie bestaunen. Am bekanntesten sind ja die “12 Apostel”, acht steil aufragende Felsen direkt vor der Küstenlinie. Angeblich sieht man drei Apostel nicht und einer ist vor ein paar Jahren eingestürzt, aber wenn man uns fragt, ist das mal wieder ein typisches Beispiel für touristische Vermarktung. In Australien wird ja jede Parkbank als “Must-Do” Attraktion umjubelt und daher wundert es auch nicht, dass man bei den angeblich 12 Apostel, gleich mal drei Augen zugedrückt hat. Es gibt halt nichts cooles mit der Zahl 9. Die Gloreichen waren sieben, die Musketiere zu dritt und auch die Fantastischen Vier waren nicht zu neunt. Ach ja, und eine der “Drei Schwestern” ist kürzlich erst zusammengefallen, jetzt sind es nur noch zwei. Eine traurige Familiengeschichte.

Nun ja, wir also alle paar Meter angehalten, um Felsformationen, wie “The London Bridge” oder auch “The Arch” zu bestaunen. Jacke und Mütze lohnten sich nicht auszuziehen, so nah beieinander hatten die Australier die Felsen gebaut. Denn das Wetter war eine Frechheit. Nix mit Sonne und so. Regen, Wind und nachts 4 Grad. Da schaut man im Vorfeld auf Voxtours Reiseberichte, man sieht Palmen und Riffe aber keiner sagt einem wie schattig es hier werden kann. Da hätten wir auch im herbstlichen Deutschland bleiben können. Nee, nee, also das Wetter war echt ne Frechheit.

Überraschend und gelungen war dann aber dann das Zusammentreffen mit Anja und Pit, zwei ebenfalls Langzeitreisenden, die seit April unterwegs sind und wir hier und da in losem E-Mail-Kontakt standen. Wir wussten, dass wir in etwa zur selben Zeit die Great Ocean Road befahren würden, aber die ist ja nicht nur 2 Km lang. Umso größer also die Überraschung. “Mensch, das gibt’s ja nicht, die Welt ist klein oder ein Dorf” usw. Zur Feier des Tages gab es auf dem Campingplatz Marengo in Apollo Bay reichlich VB (Victoria Bitter, lokale, trinkbare Biersorte, Anm. der Red.) und Plausch im Camp Kitchen. Danke nochmal für’s abfüllen.

Bevor es dann wieder zurück nach Melbourne ging, habe ich mich noch auf den Otway Fly Treetop Walk getraut. Ich bin ja eher so der Höhenschisser und daher möchte hier nochmal meine Wagemutigkeit und Kühnheit heraustellen. Man wandert auf einem 600m langen Weg in den Baumkronen, 25m über dem Boden. Naja, nicht gerade von Ast zu Ast, eher auf einer Stahlkonstruktion. Der Blick von oben auf Baumfarne und keine Ahnung was noch für Gewächs im gemäßigten Regenwald Australiens war dann aber doch beeindruckend. Mit etwas Pipi in den Augen, war der Matze dann aber wieder froh auf matschigem Waldboden angekommen zu sein.

In Kenneth River gab es dann noch reichlich Koalas zu begaffen. Viele Bäume hatten dort einen Plastikring um den Stamm als Schutz und wir dachten natürlich, dass die Katzen nicht auf die Bäume sollen, um die Grünen Papageien und Crimson Rosellas platt zu machen. Doch der Schutz war für die Bäume gedacht und sollte die gefräßigen Koalas davon abhalten, die Bäume kahl zu fressen. Was aber wenig gebracht hatte, denn die fetten Koala-Bären hingen in jedem zweiten Baum, was doch recht außergewöhnlich war, denn bisher hatten wir in den ganzen 8,5 Wochen erst vier zu Gesicht bekommen.

Und so vergingen die fünf Tage viel zu schnell. Doch zurück in der großen Stadt wurde gerade das Melbourne Festival eröffnet und die französische Performancegruppe Transe-Express hatte eine sensationelle Vorstellungen namens “Mischievous Bells” in den Abendhimmel produziert. Am besten mal bei Youtube suchen.

Nun heißt es ab auf die australische Hauptinsel, denn die Tasmanier bezeichnen das große Eiland nur als die nördliche Insel Australiens. Symphatisch finden wir. Zwei Wochen Road-Trp stehen auf dem Programm. Spaceships gibt es keine in Tassie, daher werden wir uns nach einer bezahlbaren Alternative umschauen. Bis dahin und tschüß Nordinsel.

The koala is easily my favorite animal. The furry noses, the frizzy fur, the odor they emit, their passive personalities, and the way they lay in the trees: too cute!!

A (real) koala sleeping at the Australia Zoo in Brissy!

I ask you to read my blog, reasonable enough. But what do you expect to read from me?

If my university had a creative writing major, that’s what I’d be. Should I post excerpts from my stories or poems? I wonder if my blog will hold people’s attention.

On an unrelated note: I got an email about koala bears. They’re super cute but also rabid, so like even if you want to hug them, chances are they’ll try and claw you to bits. Would you try and hug one anyway? I mean…you only live once.

More unrelated notes, I’m going off on serious tangents today. Nate 2.0 my beloved mac is in trouble again, with sticky keys and the ability to turn on and off by himself. It’s creepy, I’m still convinced that he’s haunted. Can computers be haunted? Hell to the yes.

I get to see Bobie this friday along with my parents, I’m extremely excited.

Let’s get back to my topic though, what do you like to read on the internet? To be perfectly honest, I use it as an escape – a procrastination tool. My top sites? I’ll post them right now

You’ve got your average slew of sites, facebook, livejournal nonsense, twitter, perez hilton, failblog, givesmehope, fmylife, wordpress, despair faction.

Should I try and incorporate parts of my favorite sites into my own blog? Talk about music, drama and human to human interaction.

BUT WHAT IS HUMAN TO HUMAN INTERACTION ON THE INTERNET.

I am writing to you, you are reading my words – but I might not even know you. The internet connects us without being face to face – blows my mind. You, reader, blow my mind. Granted I have readers.

Next post will be about my life as a bandom fangirl. See also, obsessor of Fueled By Ramen music acts.

xoxo,

Harlequinn

p.s.

Now I remember in 5th grade hearing that HIV came from monkeys in some way or another. But despite knowing this, I never really thought about how STDs affected animals beyond humans.  But when I came across an article about Koala’s in Australia dieing from a chlamydia epidemic, I quickly learned that STDs are a serious issue for many animals, even more serious than in humans.

For these Koalas, not only does the Chlamydia have the potential to damage the sex organs and cause infertility in females as it does in humans, it also has the ability to cause blindness and attack their respiratory system.  With 50-90 percent of the population having the disease as well as having to fight an HIV-like disease, the seriousness of the epidemic becomes very real.

But this epidemic may be good. No I don’t hate animals; trust me I love them. But with the epidemic, it is forcing researchers to scramble for a vaccine to save the Koalas.  Progress has been made and that gives hopes that a cure can be found for humans. In addition this made me think what other STDs may be cured by the use of animal testing.

I’m not a fan of using animals to test products out, and feel that many things can be cruel to the animals, but when it comes to serious diseases such as HIV/AIDs and other STDs, I think animal testing may be necessary. With the number of different animals who have STDs similar to humans, the research that can be gained could be invaluable. Clearly there is research being done with animal testing, its being done with these Koalas, but I think more should be done. If a cure for HIV/AIDs can be found at the cost of a few animals lives, than so be it. The reward far outweighs the risk in this case, and just think, if a cure is found faster, we can save more animals in the long run.

Note: This will be a recurring blog post. The last entry focused on pop culture articles and while this one has its fair share, there’s also more randomness and seriousness. Here are links to stuff (stories, photos, videos, etc.) I found interesting over the past few days:

• ”Grey’s Anatomy” blog entry on its Season 6 opener — ABC.com

Every night, after ”Grey’s Anatomy” airs, the scriptwriter types up a blog entry that gives us insight about the episode. For the two-hour season premiere, it’s blogging as usual, but Krista Vernoff includes 25 things viewers don’t know about the show’s ensemble cast and writing staff. Like what? “Shonda’s birthday and Patrick Dempsey’s birthday are the same day” and “Kevin McKidd plays a mean guitar.”

• Mary Louise Parker (“Weeds”) in a music video! — YouTube.com

The song’s pretty good, too. It has hints of Jason Mraz, John Mayer and the Weepies. The singer also just happens to be Parker’s current beau. I have to say though, there will always be a place in my heart for her and ex-beau, Jeffrey Dean Morgan (“Weeds,” “Grey’s Anatomy”).

• Which country should host the 2016 Olympics? — The Huffington Post

The contenders are Chicago, Tokyo, Madrid and Rio de Janeiro. When I read it, Chicago was in the lead. Do you agree?

• President Obama will now take your questions. — RT @JobHuntOrg @WestWingReport

E-mail your inquiries to WestWingRpt@gmail.com and it may be asked at the next White House news conference.

• A chlamydia epidemic among koala bears? — Newsweek

• Celebrities throw out their reading lists. — Oprah.com

Oprah Winfrey’s magazine, O, is actually good for something. As you can tell, I’m not a fan of Ms. Winfrey, but I found out that they have an ongoing series where various celebrities share the “books that made a difference” to them. There’s so many that even if you’re not interested in what the celebrities have to say, some of their book suggestions are so outside the box that they may be worth a look. 

Notable people who’ve appeared in the publication: journalist Anderson Cooper, rapper Jay-Z, authors  Jodi Picoult and  J.K. Rowling as well as actors who range from the acclaimed, Rachel McAdams, Natalie Portman and Laura Linney to TV heavyweights, Hugh Laurie,  Kyra Sedgwick, Lee Pace, Allison Janney, Mary Louise Parker and Amy Poehler to Academy Award winners, Kate Winslet, Julianne Moore and Julia Roberts  and countless more.

• Can a girl with black skin be the Chinese idol? — TIME

A black girl named Lou Jing recently won China’s version of “American Idol.” Jing is of Chinese descent (her mom) and speaks the language fluently, but she has received backlash from a lot of people. They argue that she’s not Chinese and therefore, shouldn’t  have competed in the Chinese contest. Is this a logical argument or deeply rooted racism? Weigh in.

• Hilarious photo blogs! — Newsweek

What better way to waste your time than looking at people’s awkward (at best) pictures? My favorites include Insanewiches, which shows crazy sandwiches, and Engrish, which displays the king of pathetic grammar usage. Special mention for orginality: Laserportraits, which showcases people’s portraits taken with a laser, Star Wars-like background. I wonder if George Lucas has one …

• ‘Til the Run Water Runs Dry … — The Huffington Post 

Typhoon Ketsana (locally known as Ondoy) struck the Philippines, resulting in floods that have reached the roofs of people’s homes. Above is a link to a photo slideshow of the typhoon and here’s a list of organizations you can make donations to if you want to help.

Ce matin, temps gris et plafond bas… très bas… Nous décidons de tenter l’aventure en direction de Healesville sanctuary, espace naturel dans lequel son rassemblés toutes les espèces d’animaux “natifs” d’Australie (et d’autres d’ailleurs). Une fois en route, le challenge réside dans la conduite à gauche pendant une heure, sans se tromper à chaque

croisement Quelques averses plus tard, nous arrivons dans un parc à la végétations luxuriante (beaucoup d’eucalyptus notamment). A chaque détour de chemin, c’est un autre émerveillement face à des animaux symboliques de l’Australie: kangourous, walabis, Koalas (Laura aurait pu rester des heures à les regarders), émeux, wombats (pas vus… cachés dans leur terrier), diables de tasmanie, ornithorynques, perroquets, … et j’en passe. En bref, quatre heures passionnantes!

>> photos d’animaux (avec plusieurs reptiles pour Alex